E185: Committing to Game-Changing Habits One Win at a Time with Rae

Today on the podcast I am thrilled to introduce you to one of my healthy habit coaching clients Rae! Rae has blown me and the community members away with her outstanding commitment to building some game-changing habits. Here’s her inspiring story!

[01:10] Valerie LaVigne: Welcome back to The Women's Empowerment Podcast. I am extra excited to be here today with one of our incredible healthy habit members, Ray Ray is has been so generous to give us her time today because believe this or not, we already have this conversation and I forgot to hit record. So we are doing this for the second time. and I feel like this is just going to be so much better that by the end of this conversation, we're going to be like, Yeah, we definitely needed this second to take.

So, thank you so much, again, I can't thank you enough for being here.

Let's kick things off with: tell us a little bit about yourself and how you got to creating some of the healthy habits that you are committed to currently?

Rae Gibson: And thank you all for taking the time to talk to me again. I'm very happy to be here. And I agree. I think this can only go better the second time.

So a little bit about me. I am married and I have two young kids. I've got a two year old son who is super active. And I've got a six year old daughter who is basically six going on 16 So my personal life is pretty hectic. And then on top of that I've got a fairly demanding full time job. And how I came to create healthy habits. I guess. It's you know, it was kind of one of those I called it a happy accident. The first time we chatted, but you know, I think it was really kind of a sign from the universe more than anything else. Really tied. In my life I was just honestly feeling overwhelmed. I was feeling a little bit stuck kind of in a rut and just feeling like I wasn't fully in control. I knew I had to make some changes and then a friend of mine, a Reiki healer, Tasha Romanelli, was posting in her Instagram feed about doing this 21 Day Health feed about doing this 21 Day healthy habit challenge and I thought oh my goodness, the timing is absolutely perfect. And then I just thought it was funny because of course at least I bought it and started to learn more about it.

Oh funny because of course as I signed on and started to learn more about it, I realized it was you with Apple and I had already been going to exhale. So I used just it kind of felt like everything fell into place and I was doing exactly what I should be doing.

Episode 102: Choosing Courage Over Fear with Tasha Romaneli

[03:44] VL: I love that. I'm glad you said this time around that it was a little bit more of a serendipitous sign that we connected because it's true and I I laughed when Tasha said Oh yeah, my client rate is doing a challenge and I was like, oh yeah but I already met Rae at the studio already!

So I'm so glad that these worlds collided. I'm so glad that you found out about the challenge through Tasha and I'm so glad we've already been connecting because to me, that is one of those like you said signs from the universe. And it's also a confirmation that like yeah, I should be doing this or I hate saying should. Yeah, I need to be doing this. I guess this is the right timing for me to start something new. So with everything going on in your very busy very full life. What were some of the health habits that you have? Created and are still committed to you are working on today?

RG: Yeah, I need to be doing this. I guess this is the right time for me to start something new. So with everything going on in your very busy very full life. What were some of the health habits that you have? Created and are still committed to what you are working on today? Yeah, the very first one that I had set out that I had set out for was trying to create a daily meditation practice. And of course, you know a coordinate such as you know, outlined, not just the funny you started with the feeling word. And then with the practice, where I started at first with the practice on it. So the meditation and the feeling I wanted felt focused at present and you know, I was so successful with that one, it felt amazing. And, you know, it was one of those situations where success breeds success. So I tried to try to maintain that as best possible and then layered on a movement.

Healthy habit. which as you know, I started out as wanting to do 30 minutes every day with a goal of feeling more energized. And as we started getting into our coaching calls, I was having a really hard time like the meditation was a little bit easier because 10 minutes a day, so I could sneak it into my day. and even if I was having funding a challenge to do that. I was just getting amazing support from my family to help be part of that time. But then adding on another 30 minutes today was a bit of a challenge but when I spoke and he gave me this great advice to, you know, kind of alleviate that time constraint and focus more on just the idea of incorporating that into my daily routine. that that just made things so much easier and it evolved, you know, and it was fluid. There were spin classes Some days. It was a walk and other days it was yoga.

So I started I moved on from meditation to that and then the next. The next one I wanted to go to was this idea of feeling rested. So, again, I started with really focusing on it wasn't a feeling word. it was the practice it was you know, I'd set out seven and a half hours sleep minimum consistent bedtime routine, and it felt like the universe threw everything at me to try and stop me from accomplishing that healthy habit.

You know, I think it was gosh my son had a sleep regression. I had international travel thrown in, was there were other, other things that came in from a work perspective.

But then you and I again chatted, we talked about focusing more on the feeling word which was “rested.” And that was just this huge aha moment. and it really shifted my mindset. It gave me the ability to be more open in my approach to get really creative. So rather than focusing on those specific habits I said I wanted to accomplish, I was trying to find other ways throughout the day to get back to that feeling “rested.”

And then the next one - feels like I've accomplished a lot in the time - that we've been working together. but the next one again is I actually started with that feeling word and I stole it from you. But it was: VIBRANT.

Initially the idea was eating better so adding more fruits and vegetables to my plate which you know when we talked about this idea of vibrant color comes to mind so you know adding color to my diet and then I don't know it extended into different areas of my life. The clothes that I was choosing for myself, you know, even if I was out looking for something for the house trying to add a bit more color, more vibrancy. So can that we've got like 1,2,3,4.. FOUR healthy habits that I have.

[08:25] VL: You have accomplished more than you realize! In a very short amount of time in five months. You have five daily habits. This is her sorry for daily habits. This is incredible. And you are consistent with each of them, which I think is really amazing.

So I do want to highlight that you didn't start all of these at once I want to reiterate that you added one on top of the other and for this month the reason why you don't have access one even though it's been the best month is because you recognize that you're really want to maintain what you're currently doing. And I think that's really important because I feel like there are times when you're like it's really important to celebrate our success and to maintain this competence. But there is a point where we do need to maybe take another lap around so to speak so that they're really solidified before adding in the next thing and I think what's so great about the habits you've chosen and the feeling words that you've connected to them and vice versa is that they are really different, right like the vibrancy like you said shows up in different ways. and I actually purposely wore this bright yellow shirt for you today.

But also what rest feels like you know, yes, you have meditation practices. Yes. You aim to go to bed at a certain time. But are there different times where you can you know, get horizontal in the middle of the day?

Or just take a few moments of mindfulness. And that's really the power and where the transformation comes is being able to be flexible with these things that still reach us to our bigger goal. So with all of the habits that you created and all of the obstacles that you've had to overcome. Let me know what for you was something that surprised you when you really started working on your habits, or seriously?

[10:23] RG: The biggest thing for me and you know that retrospective this should not have been a surprise at all, but it was what I call the butterfly effect of these what felt like small changes that I was making.

In terms of my daily routine. You know, for example with meditation, yes, I accomplished feeling more focused and more presence. but it helped me to be able to deal with more challenging situations just by being more present, I should say.

But the other piece was, but the other piece was I actually inspired others with the action that I was taking. I mean, it was the literal inspiration of my six year old daughter who went out to meditate together every night before bedtime because she saw me doing it now. She doesn't even when she's looking to calm herself. She will, you know, do a mini meditation.

But then also because I was posting about my successes online it inspired a lot of people that I now call it. It's in France to ask me what it was I was doing and what I was doing and they were , you know, really impressed by that.

And then with the focus on being rested, I was watching less TV. I was working less at night, which was really nice. I was doing more reading which, you know, was actually one of the habits I wanted to get to eventually anyways, it's an earlier bedtime for the kids because I had to make sure I got them down so I had time to do my stuff and get myself to bed.

And of course I also had just so much more energy to be able to do all of the other habits that I was trying to work on as well. So yeah, it was really that butterfly effect. Then the other piece which I've kind of touched on already was just how monumental a change it made to focus on the feeling word versus the practice itself. it was just, it was so freeing, and again, it gave me that space and that ability to be creative in the approach to getting there.

[12:38] VL: I love that. I know we've talked about this before. Where was the 21 Day Challenge with how you started? There was really this interesting kind of observation that I was able to make because I was connecting with each other's challenge members. Was that for you? The 21 Day Challenge was an amazing success and you continue on and you continue to grow your current habit you stack an additional habit on top of that and then continues to grow. That as well. And I really feel like connecting to that feeling word for you was really the bridge of that gap between the people who stuck with the challenge versus dropped off the challenge versus continued with their habit after the 21 days, right. so really, really, like just blown away by your success blown away by everything that you've accomplished in such a short amount of time as I mentioned. So my next question for you is what greater impact did healthy habits have on maybe a different area of your life as you said this butterfly effect of how it's rippled into other things?

[13:51] RG: Yeah, of course. You know, I have definitely felt much more present for my family. I'm feeling energized and overall I just feel happier. And I would say I've had a very I would say I've had a very big improvement in terms of the overall well being and confidence as well. Those things extended into absolutely every aspect of my life, for sure.

[14:21] VL: Yeah, That's so incredible. I mean, it's it's one thing to have you feel the effects of the habits but then to have other people reach out to you, or seeing your cut your daughter has responded to that as well.

That's a priceless impact as a priceless benefit to the small changes that you were making in your day to day life right? Powerful.

RG: Especially with my daughter, you know, as a parent, I want to be able to positively impact them like one of my goals is to be able to raise you know, caring, compassionate and kind children and so of the actions that I am taking she's seeing and emulating. I couldn't ask for anything more.

[15:08] VL: What made these habits and work for you, what was it that made it most successful for you?

RG: Honestly, it was the support that I received. And you know that that started with yourself as the one who started the healthy habits and of course you know I signed up for the magazine, the coaching mentorship after that as well because I did find it to be so helpful and you were so inspiring.

There was also the support of the community during the initial healthy habits challenge and then the group afterwards as well. And not just, you know, I got so many likes and comments on what I was doing in terms of achievements, but also seeing what they were accomplishing as well was super inspiring. And then you know, I got such amazing support from my husband and from my family and it will ache sometimes trying to carve out those 10 Minutes for Meditation were a challenge I may have shared. We were away for a weekend. And so you know the four of us in a small hotel room and trying to find 10 minutes of you know privacy was difficult but you know, my husband kept the kids at bay while I would release that in the bathroom doing meditation. So it you know, the moral and ethical fiscal support of being in these healthy habits have been so great to hear. I love that. Not only did you get the support from the challenge itself, but also from your own family and your partner.

[16:38] VL: For someone who wants to start a new habit and is looking for that support. What would your best advice be for them to communicate that to their partner or approach that with their partner?

RG: I think it really is taking them on a journey with you, you know communicating to them about what it is you're doing, why you're doing it. What your what your goals are with it. I am continuing to communicate with them throughout so that you know they're sharing in your success and understanding what it's bringing to you and I have no doubt if you are going on this journey and you're successful with it. you're going to see the impact that it's having on you, but I think it's, it's really just about communicating and sharing.

VL: I like that you said that taking them on a journey with you because one I feel including that person is so important in building that partnership and building that relationship but also sharing your excitement with something and getting them excited about something. I love listening to people talk about something they love or are excited about even if I have no idea what they're talking about. I love being around those people who are excited for life or first of all things like that's so that's such a great energy to be around. and that's such a great energy to share with someone and I think too, it gives them an opportunity or it gives them permission to share more with you or to create their own coffee habit and patterns and routines. so that's really lovely. I love that advice.

Okay, my last question for you today is for someone who is interested in starting a new habit, what advice would you give them?

[18:30] RG: Obviously they should work with you! But in addition to that, I think to start with something realistic and achievable. You know, if I had jumped in with feeling rested, I probably would have failed right off the bat. Starting with something like 10 minutes of meditation a day it was so great, because I was able to accomplish it. And for me, I really felt I love this idea of success breeds success. It was easier for me to layer on more habits because I felt accomplished. I felt like I could really do it. So I think starting with something that's realistic for you is important.

But also to that point being kind and giving yourself grace. You know, during that me tried to build that healthy habit of feeling more rested. I could have given up but I was kind to myself to recognize that you know, maybe maybe I was important to be successful every day and sometimes that was through no fault of my own and external forces.

But the next day was a new day so I could start fresh and you know get a little bit creative to be content, don't give up.

[19:55] VL: I love that. But success breeds success. It's true because I often talked about this in some of our coaching calls. It's like what's a team and a habit that you can check the box off for, like right after this call or let's do it right now together. What can we do just to get that win for the day and then it builds and it builds and when you have that confidence and you have that success, what you've what you've qualified for success, you then can have better consistency and you start to show up more because you're not only getting the check mark you're getting the benefits of that habit of meditation has an enormous list of benefits to it right and to have to see that butterfly effect to see how that ripples and to everyone around you is is truly the reward right is the impact that you're making. So we will say this conversation is pretty amazing. Both of them are amazing. This one was more amazing, and it's only one I have evidence of. So thank you so much again for your time for sharing your experience with us. You are such an inspiration and I'm really excited to be able to share this with our community. I can't wait to see what habits you're building next to can't wait to see where your impact spreads to next or ripples into next with your butterfly effect and, yeah, I, I'm just very grateful for you and I want to make sure that you knew that.

RG: Thank you so much Val I am grateful for you as well. Thank you.

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!