E209: These 3 Systems Will Help You Better Manage Holiday Stress

With the hustle and bustle of the holidays approaching, it’s easy to get swept up or turned around from our regular routines. Now is the best time to anchor into these three systems to help you better manage your busy-season stress…

[00:44] Welcome back to the Women’s Empowerment Podcast, I am your host and Healthy Habit Mentor, Valerie LaVigne. I run a 21 day healthy habit challenge called Elevate Your Life about 3 or 4 times a year and I wanted to share a story with you about one of my Healthy Habit Members at the start of our most recent challenge.

P.S. Our next challenge is coming up in a few months, and the waitlist is where you’ll be the first to hear about it! You can join the waitlist at www.valerielavignelife.com/challenge

So this is a story about our community member Rae. Rae is a working mom, with two young children. Around the time that we were starting our Elevate Your Life challenge, also happened to be one of Rae’s busiest work seasons, and her husband was also away from home during the challenge.

Now I hear from a lot of people different reasons for why they can’t participate this time around:

“I have a lot on my plate right now”
“The timing isn’t right for me”
“I’m focusing my energy on something else”

And my response is the same, “No problem, when you’re ready to show up for yourself and your healthy habits, you know where to find our next challenge.” (Which remember is www.valerielavignelife.com/challenge)

So anyway, back to Rae. Rae sends me a lovely note explaining her incredibly busy situation with work, and her home, and family. But Rae doesn’t say these are the reasons why she cannot do the challenge… no, no!

Instead Rae says, “Val this challenge has come at the perfect time! This challenge is exactly what I need in my busiest season! I know that my habits will help me get through this.”

And if there is ONE THING you take away from this week’s podcast episode, let it be that.

Rae is amazing, and if you want to hear more from her and about her story, you can check out the show notes page for this week’s episode where you will also find more content Rae has shared including a conversation with her and I on how she built some really incredible habits.

THE SHOW NOTES ARE AVAILABLE AT WWW.VALERIELAVIGNELIFE.COM/209

Episode 185: Committing to Game-Changing Habits One Win at a Time with Rae

www.valerielavignelife.com/185

[03:32] Part One: Foundational Habits

Now some people see the Elevate Your Life 21 day challenge and think, “Oh! I’m going to wake up two hours earlier and workout, meditate, and make a healthy breakfast, and read, and etc. etc.”

They want to add all these really amazing, and also sometimes elaborate habits into their lives, which is very attractive, but not very easy to do.

However, our past challenge members will tell you to keep things simple. Some of the most successful challengers have small and mighty habits like: drinking water, getting 8-10k steps a day, going to bed by a certain time, meditating, and daily movement.

These types of habits are what I like to call “Foundational Habits” and are the first of our three systems that will help you better manage the stress from the holidays or busy season.

Foundational habits are the absolute most basic and important habits for your life. They’re the things we do so often, and yet when life gets busy, they are also so easily forgotten or overlooked!

These habits are small, seemingly insignificant and they keep our energy sustainable. They are the key to balancing “busy” and healthy.

The worst mistake we can make when life gets busy is setting aside our foundational habits. It’s important that we FOCUS on them in these times more than ever!

There are many types of habits that would be considered “foundational” and perhaps you can think of a few that are most meaningful to you.

Here are some common foundational habits

Nutrition
Hydration
Rest, Sleep
Movement, Exercise
Getting out into Nature
Making the Bed
Gratitude
Meditation, Prayer

If I missed any of your foundational habits, I’d love to hear about them! Send me a DM on instagram @vallavignelife and let’s connect!

www.instagram.com/vallavignelife

When we’re in a busy season, we have to remember that We can do ANYTHING, just not EVERYTHING. It’s not about doing it all. It’s about being intentional.

Which of your daily habits, routines, and rituals make you come alive? Which ones support you the most physically, mentally, and emotionally?

The foundational habits that have supported me the most are

#1 REST: Sleep is where our body and mind rejuvenate. The quality of our sleep affects our readiness for the day. I notice that when I prioritize sleep, I am capable of getting more done with more energy and stamina. (Bonus: I make my bed every morning.)

#2 NUTRITION: Food is fuel for our bodies and our brains. When I eat breakfast, drink lots of water, and make healthy meal choices, I notice that I am also more likely to make other healthier choices throughout the day and I feel better overall inside and out!

#3 EXERCISE: For me, working out supports my physical and mental health. If I can't get to the gym, I find a way to move my body, (I usually walk) and always feel better and more motivated afterwards.

I suggest focusing on 3 habits during your busy season and really prioritizing these. You would be amazed at how prioritizing rest works wonders on your whole system when you actually stick to it.

If you want to build better foundational habits, I have a free workbook for you! This is your step-by-step guide to creating consistent habits that matter. The habits that will walk you home to yourself and replenish the sustainable energy you need to show up as the best version of you in any season of life!

You can access the free Build Better Habits workbook at www.valerielavignelife.com/habits

[08:30] Part Two: Non-Negotiable Routines

Our second system for better managing our holiday stress are what I call “Non-Negotiable Routines”

Non-negotiable means “not open to discussion or modification.”

Your daily non-negotiables are routine behaviours or tasks that you simply will not compromise on. They are the things you make time for no matter what.

Here’s the deal: We prioritize what we value in life.

When you think of your own priorities, where is your health and wellness, where do you fall on this list? If it helps you can write them out in your notebook or on paper to help you see the visual representation of them.

Even if you’ve written out your priorities and your health, wellness, self, and values are on there, what small actions are you taking to honour these?

If and when you do prioritize your needs, and yourself, what do you notice about your energy, your community and your relationships?

I will share that for myself, when I prioritize my sleep I am a much nicer and better person the next day. I am energetic, patient, motivated, creative, compassionate. You name it! When I am rested, I show up for others.

Let’s circle back to our foundational habits. What routines can we implement that help us prioritize these three habits.

Examples:

Rest: Going to bed at a specific time every night. If there is an event that runs later, is it possible to leave at a pre-set time, or perhaps sleep in the next morning. If not, how can I prioritize rest the day of or after this event? Maybe it’s giving myself permission to take a nap, or relaxing on the couch for an hour, or booking a massage, or getting a babysitter, or something like that.

Nutrition: Cooking meals at home and meal prepping every week. Between events, deadlines, and dinners, there is less time for cooking every meal at home. For the days that are busy, can I prepare more in advance? Can I ask for help? Can I order more meals from Hello Fresh that week? Can I make a protein smoothie on the go? Can I focus on getting the right amount of water and stay hydrated? Outline your options in advance to be more prepared.

Exercise: Daily movement, at the gym or outdoor walks. How can I better prioritize my workout routines? Scheduling them into your calendar and not changing the appointment. Asking friends to join you for a hike or walk or pilates class and then grabbing a drink or exchanging gifts. At the end of the day if there was no workout or walk, can I do some form of movement before bed? Stretching? Peloton? What other options do I have?

[12:40] Part Three: Boundaries

Our third and final system will help us pull this all together. This strategy is all about BOUNDARIES.

Without boundaries our non-negotiables are negotiable. Without boundaries our foundational habits are forgotten.

The key to boundaries is to keep things simple. I know it sounds really basic, but it’s what we need most.

There will always be seasons which can bring on feelings of stress or overwhelm, and our foundational habits keep us grounded. They bring us back to the most fundamental of our needs.

And during these busy seasons we can feel pulled in every direction, so having basic boundaries that keep us on track with foundational habits and non-negotiable routines really allow us to center and ground and stay healthy/true to ourselves.

I know for some of us it can be really difficult to say “No.” But if it’s for something we really don’t want to do, we just end up stressing about it, or overthinking it, and are we even going to do a good job if we didn’t want to do it in the first place? Are we really going to show up as our best selves? If we say no (and we can do it politely), we’re honouring our boundaries, and the task or item will be passed onto someone else, hopefully that is someone who wants to do it.

Here are some polite ways to honour your boundaries:

Thank you so much for thinking of me for this (task). At this time I have a lot on my plate and will not be able to complete this to my best ability. (Then if you have someone else in mind you could suggest them or a different solution).
I appreciate your invitation to (the event), and have made other commitments at this day and time. I wish you the best success and know it will be so much fun! (Happy holidays).

Short, simple, polite, grateful, well wishes. You’ve got this.

And before we wrap this up, I do want to mention that things come up and plans change and sometimes we’ve got to blur the boundary lines a bit.

Here’s the deal: YOU decide what that means for you, and YOU get to make the choice of what is most important to you, guilt free!

There might be nights where you’re having such a great time so you stay out a little later. Or maybe you missed a workout. Breathe. You’re okay. Get back into it the next day.

If there is one simple boundary you can set today, let it be that you take a few minutes every day to check in with yourself to feel into what you really need that day. This is grounding, and honouring yourself. This is prioritizing your wellness.

You’ve got this!

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!