E233: Building a Solid Foundation for Health: Small Steps to Big Changes with Jess Kirby

After years of dealing with her own health struggles and not getting the help she needed or could afford at the time, Jess took it on herself to become what she was looking for. She's now a certified Health Coach and Level 2 Integrative Health Practitioner that works on holistically balancing the body from a root cause perspective. She primarily works with women, virtually and worldwide, supporting them fully with their gut function, energy, weight and hormonal imbalances allowing them to be empowered in their body, alive with a sense of purpose and feeling youthful…

Valerie LaVigne: Welcome back to the Women's Empowerment Podcast. I'm very excited to welcome our new and special guest. Please join me in welcoming Jess to the show. Thank you so much for being here today.

Jess Kirby: I love being here with you.

VL: You know, I have to say, it's cool when we make connections with Empowered Women online and then even cooler when I get to meet you in real life, which I got to only a few short months ago.

I have to say, you are just as incredible in person as you are online, so I'm very, very happy to have you as part of the show.

JK: Thank you. I love dour little walk and talk.

VL: Our walk and talk in the pouring rain in a dreary day. But it was perfect. I was so warmed up after that. I'm like, I needed to delayer and like have a shower.

But it was great. And I mean, the conversations that we got, having not just in person, but also over the last, I don't know, I guess I've known you for a year now have been. Really great, and I love all the things that you share online. I mean, you work so closely with all different kinds of women on their health and on their wellness journeys, and I know that part of this is because of your own journey and the things that you've been through.

So maybe we could start with just learning a little bit more about you and how you got into doing what you do.

From Stress to Success, Jess’s Health Journey

[02:00] JK: Okay. I have to, let's go back about 10 years ago. My journey started consciously when I was trying to become pregnant and I thought I would just come off the pill and I would get pregnant, and I didn't even get my psycho back for a year and a half, and I, I'd been on the pill for.

Since I was 14, you know, it was just like the cure for all. I had bad cramps and I had bad skin and I was playing sports and it was getting in the way. And so, so that's what I did. And fast forward to 28 years old, I was still on it. And so yeah, it took a year and a half and just to get my cycle back. And then even then it wasn't consistent and all that stuff.

So I started at I I N. That's the, what does that stand for now? Integrative or Institute for Integrative Nutrition. That's what that stands for based out of New York. And I took that course and started kind of helping myself with that process and then started, it got to the point where it was getting quite stressful and so I.

Got some functional medicine doctors on board and acupuncturists and kind of just started creating my own health team. And with my own knowledge, we kind of pulled that together and I got pregnant. And then after that, all seemed really well, and my second pregnancy came really easy. But in that pregnancy, we decided to move across the world.

And it became then quite stressful. I ended up having a c-section because I had a breech baby and he wouldn't turn. And I ended up spending a lot of my pregnancy, like upside down on my head, trying to get that turn happening and it didn't happen. So I had a C-section, which was a huge fear of mine. So the stress was just like amplified even more.

And all went well though. And at four months my baby had an injury to a normal routine vaccinations didn't go well for him and he started breaking out in. Rash started on his head. I thought it was cradle cap, and it just went to all over his body and he was so swollen.

It was the middle of winter. Like we couldn't put jackets on tuques, on like anything. And that, that is what actually sent me into like the next spiral of like looking into his health. And he was a breastfed healthy baby to that point, as far as I knew. So it was trying to heal him. Where then I. Took my next certification with I H P integrative health practitioner, and I did a level two in that so that I could read functional medicine labs and kind of had to become my own doctor because I wasn't getting the support I needed.

My boy was just struggling from dermatologist to doctor to even naturopath. Wasn't doing anything. And we did some like pretty severe stuff to help him. And it was just nothing. And not once was like his gut health me mentioned and all this stuff. And I started questioning like, why is nobody talking about this?

And like, I need, I just needed to know more. So I started this journey and within that, you know, we, we eventually got him better after a year and a half, but then that took me spiraling down because I was. The, the stress levels were really high. We had started a new business. That's why we had moved. Financially we were struggling.

I had two kids on my own. I had no community. Our environment was completely lit different. We left from like a sunny outdoor environment to like a winter, very cold, indoor environment. And I didn't even know how to parent in that. And That compounded everything sent me into a very spiraling depression and burnout, and I literally just could not get out of bed.

I was diagnosed with Hashimotos and hypothyroidism, so that's autoimmune disease. And yeah, it was kind of, that was my rock bottom. I, I was studying, I'd like have the two kids on my own like all day. And then as soon as they went to bed, I was studying till kind of like one in the morning every night.

And then I was up with two kids. They still weren't sleeping through the night, so it was the broken sleep. You know, you can just see how everything's piling up on each other. And then you're left with like a mama that's got nothing left to give. And so the i h P course, Really did help me. And I, when you're experiencing something, it lands like so much deeper, right?

Cuz you need to help yourself. And that's where it took me today and we reversed the Hashimotos. I no longer have problems with my thyroid. My son is doing well. I have energy. I can work out all the time. Like all these things, like, I couldn't even walk up my stairs without being like, You know, be like 8:00 AM and I'm like, I'm done.

I can't, I've got nothing left. And I had two little boys to look after. So all that's good now. And you know, it took time and it took investment in education and stuff, but we're here and now I gotta help everybody else.

VL: Wow, I didn't even know all of the, the full extent of your story and your journey.

And I have to say, I'm so grateful, and I'm sure you can say that to your, I'm so grateful that you invested in your, your health and your education to support not only you, but your family and now Mm. Other women and other people in the world. And I mean, it's tough when you have to go through those depths.

Mm-hmm. And, you know, but you've become this person that you are today, this healer and this holder of space and this evidence for other people to say like, this is possible or this is what's possible. I am very inspired and I'm sure. Those who are listening are feeling the same way. Like, just wow.

Wow. And at in the same breath, I feel like people who do go through, you know, those deeper transformative growing Situations, even though they can feel very challenging in the moment they are the people who make the best healers sometimes. So because you get it, you really get it where people are coming from.

And so when people come to you with their pain and their struggles and, and you know, kind of their, their loss of, of, what's the word? Not purpose, but like, what am I gonna do? I've tried everything. Now what? You know, you're, you're almost at this brink of like, I need to give up. But you didn't, and that's incredible because I, I feel like a lot of people would going through those things.

JK: Yeah. I mean, there were definitely times where I was lost for answers. Right. But something in me kept going, like, I didn't really didn't accept what was being handed to me in life.

VL: And I'm so glad that you did not accept it because look at where you are and look at what you're doing. And I've gotta say, I, again, just watching everything that you post and all the things that you share and showing your own lifestyle, your own practices, that your, the changes that you've made in your life and seeing how you're able to enjoy every moment of it is pretty, is pretty incredible.

Simple Changes to Start Making Today

[09:38] Now you are a wealth of knowledge and information and experience. I'd love if we could talk about some of the actionable steps or the actionable ways that we could elevate our health and wellness today. Like how can we start by making simple changes just today?

JK: Okay. I think simple is the key. Like I wanted to give you, you know, we can overcomplicate health we can and Yeah.

And. In actuality, it's quite simple and I think that the problem is we just wanna like do all the things all at once, when really a lot of us just need to do less. We just need to connect more to ourselves and what's around us and you know, people and nature and things that are naturally there. And. Not worry about all the rest in the be, you know, in the beginning and then you build up.

But I think that foundation, like building the foundation is, is really important and simple.

Morning Sunlight

[09:52] So first one I'm gonna say is morning light. Waking up, not looking at your phone first thing and just going out and catching the sun in your eyes. And that actually helps you go to sleep better as well at the end of the day.

And it's just a really nice way to start the day. it's a nice ritual for me. I like to just go out on my balcony, look at the sun, look at the mountains, and obviously that's a bit harder seasonally for us in Canada when. It's not light until eight o'clock, eight 30. But do it when you can.

Grounding aka “Earthing”

[11:13] Do it as much as you can when you can, and if you can do it with bare feet on a natural surface, even better.

VL: Yeah, this is the one I really need to work on cuz I, my phone is my alarm and I really try, I turned off my alarm and my goal is to stay. Off my phone for one hour. Mind you, I get up really early in the morning when there isn't much light, the days are getting longer noticeably. Mm-hmm. Which is exciting.

So, I have found that if I busy myself with things such as emptying the dishwasher, making myself a healthy breakfast, you know, just anything that doesn't involve my phone, I feel so much better throughout the entire day than even if I just spend 15 minutes on my phone checking something, scrolling something, whatever it is, it's a game changer for sure. So I love this one.

Walking/10k Steps a Day

[12:07] JK: Yeah, it really is. Second, I wanna talk about walking before you start, you know, doing CrossFit, doing hit, doing all these things. Just walk, try and get 10,000 steps a day. It's actually a lot of walking. You know, it, it does build up like nicely through the day if you're intentional about it, but, Walking lowers stress.

It supports your metabolism. If you can do it out in nature, you get that extra hit of, you know, connection to everything life. It's great for weight loss if that is a focus for you. It's great to talk to a friend, listen to a podcast, listen to nothing. It really is like, just time for yourself. So I love walking.

VL: I'm gonna interrupt, again, because this is such a popular part of, I run a 21 day challenge once a, a season. .

And a lot of people choose walking or 10,000 steps a day or something where they're getting outside. And the benefits of the walking and being outside alone are so impactful. And then to do this with. A group of other women who are also working toward it. It's pretty cool to watch how excited people get and how that 10,000 steps.

Definitely gets easier to do, but I will say, cause I've done this myself, is that it takes effort to walk 10,000 steps a day if you're not someone who is always walking. Even for myself, if I'm teaching six hours a day, I still don't get 10,000 steps and I'm on my feet for six whole hours. So there is a little bit of effort.

To put into it, but the benefits are exponential, especially if you can do it outside of it. So I love this one. Yeah. And it also, it's free!

JK: Yeah. And it's free. Yeah. It's totally free. So was the first one morning light, free? Walking, free?

It takes me about an hour and a half to get 10,000 steps, and so I feel like if you can break it up, do like one really early in the morning and then one after night, and if you can do it after meals, it really helps with blood sugar.

That's what I was gonna say. Really helps lower your blood sugar quite quickly after a meal and it like gets your digestion going, gets you back into that parasympathetic mode, which is important for digest, digesting food. So even if you have like a lot of bloating, walking is great after meals.

VL: Yeah. This is so great. I'm so, I'm so excited about all of these. Okay. What's number three?

The Power of Nature

[14:38] JK: Okay, number three was nature. But I feel like you've kind of gotten, like I'm a nature junkie and anything that you can do outside of nature is just soul giving. Right? So I'm gonna switch that one from nature.

Water/Hydration

[14:53] I'm gonna switch it to hydration because again, Free, you can get a water filter and I highly suggest that, but it's a pretty low cost.

In terms of like how you use it, right? You use it every day, all day long. You need about what's the weight ratio? If you are 140 pounds, you need two liters of water, so, Take that up or down depending on your weight. And then if you sweat and if you have caffeine, you need more. And if you try and get that much water in your day, you would be amazed at how much less cravings you have, how much more energy you have, how clear you feel in your brain.

And again, just so simple. It's there for all of us when we're anybody listening to this podcast. We're really lucky just to have that at our disposal. Right.

VL: Totally two things. So I've become a bit of a filtered water snob. Mm-hmm. And I really dislike, I mean, listen, I'm gonna choose water over filtered water if I need water, but I.

Just learning about what the heck is in tap water or bottles of water. Yeah. So anyway, nasty. It's gnarly for sure. So I definitely recommend, if possible, to get some sort of water filtration. Do you have a favorite that you recommend?

JK: I love and use the Berkey. And speaking about water snobs, even my kids are water snobs because they've always used it, and so then they can tell when we go to a restaurant or whatever, somebody else's health and they're like, this isn't filtered.

VL: That’s so funny.

JK: Oh man.

VL: I won't say, I won't say anything, but I can definitely tell because we travel a lot. So y I mean, You lose a lot of luxuries when you're traveling and that's just one of them. But Totally. The other thing I was gonna say is Craig, my partner bought me, it's called Hydrate Spark, and it's a water bottle.

I'll link it in the show notes, but he got one for himself and then he ended up buying one from me for my birthday. And I've, I think I've had this for over two years now. This water bottle, oh, it measures. How much water you drink in a day and it'll tell you on your phone. So you don't have to carry around those gross plastic, giant water bottles.

Let's say you drink a million liters of water today and are full of plastic anyway. But what's cool about this is that, you know, it's obviously like a decent size. If you can see it, it's 620 milliliters or 21 ounces. So I don't have to fill it up that often, but I probably drink just a little over three of these bottles a day.

Sometimes more. And it's really encouraged both Craig and I to drink more water. And before he met me, he said he rarely drank water. He'd probably drink a bottle of water at the gym a day. He goes to the gym every day, then he would drink probably two lattes a day, like venti size lattes. And so I was like, and you need more water from that.

And he drank Coca-Cola with his meals and I. I've gotta tell you, he rarely drinks Coca-Cola anymore. He has one coffee that I know of a day, and he is pretty consistent with drinking the correct amount of water for his body. And both of us talk about all the time how, I don't know what life was like before.

I don't know how we were living, how. Our bodies were functioning how our brains were functioning without drinking the corrective amount of water. Because now when we don't reach that water goal in a day, we notice, oh man, I didn't drink enough water today. Oh man, my energy is down. Oh man, I have this brain fog.

And we know people who don't drink water, and we just think, how are you functioning as a human being? I don't understand.

JK: Yeah.

VL: It’s Crazy

Jk: Yeah. Can I give your listeners a few more tips with water?

VL: Please!

(Almost) Free DIY Electrolyte Recipe

[18:44] JK: Upon waking, when you're looking at that sun, put a little bit of ]Himalayan Celtic Redmonds salt in your water, and you wanna be able to taste it like enough to just taste it.

Like start with a quarter of a teaspoon. Can't taste it, add another quarter. And then do half a lemon. Stir that up. That's electrolytes, that's natural. Potassium and sodium. We need that to hydrate the cells in our body. If you're drinking too much water, you're just gonna be constantly peeing, right?

We don't want that cuz that you lose minerals in that. So by adding that, it also helps your adrenals, helps your cellular hydration, and gets you going to the bathroom as well. And then also drink broom temperature or warm water if you can. Cold water. Think of cold. Cold is constricting, right? Warm is relaxing.

That's what it does to the inside of your intestines too. So if you're having a hard time digesting, I know everybody here drinks like we used to live in Australia where room temperature, water is normal, and then coming to Canada. Everyone drinks ice in their water all the time, even in winter. And it's so crazy.

And I know that's a hard habit to kind of change, but just try it and your, your body will thank you. And the other one was to drink your water separate from your meals. So we have stomach acid that breaks down our food. We want that to be really strong prior to a meal, right? That's gonna help us break everything down, not get bloated, and be able to form good poops.

I just talk about poop like it's an, it's a very good indication of our health, so we're just gonna put it out there in the open. I love it. Let's do it. But if you're gonna drink too much water, it breaks down that acid just makes that whole process like a little bit longer and harder. And so drink your water.

Before a meal, give a half an hour space. You can like sip water through a meal. That's totally fine, but don't like be guzzling it. And then in between like an hour after your meal, you know, like at the between 10 and 11, drink a lot of water between like one and four, drink a lot of water and try and be done kind of roughly by dinner for sure.

So that you're not feeling like you need to go to the bathroom through the night.

VL: These are awesome. I am very excited

The Power of Presence

JK: Let's talk about number five. So, sounds cliche, sounds really like simple and, but it's presence and I find that, you know, we get so busy and so stressed and so much on our to-do list that we just lose presence and noticing like a touch, a smell, a tear, running down your cheek, an open door. Just being there for a conversation, like really being there without the list running in the back of your head.

I think all this stuff just brings immense gratitude into life, and I think this is why we're here. We're here for this. We're not here to, I know the dishwasher needs unloading and I know like all that has to happen, but like, You know, next time your partner reaches out his hands, like, feel that, or your child like, puts their hand on your face or even just says, mama, or, you know, like, feel it, be there for it.

Like, and it's really easy not to do and it's really easy to do.

VL: Yeah, a lot of these things are really easy to do and really easy not to do. And that is important to remember because as we're listening to you describe all of this wonderful ness and it is simple and we're excited about it today. And then tomorrow comes and the phone is there and it's dark in the morning and we don't wanna be present and all the thing and the water's there, but we don't drink it.

Yeah. It's so easy to do, and I think reminding yourself of that in that moment, I can drink the water right now. It's easy. Just do it.

JK: And it's choosing your hard, right? Like is it harder to drink the water or is it harder to have brain fog and you know, dehydrated all day, dehydrate all day.

Is it harder to have your joints be achy and. Maybe be a little bit heavier than you want to, than it is to go for a walk or you know?

VL: we always feel better after it's done because sometimes I've gotta pep talk myself to get to the gym. Honestly, I think, oh, I don't wanna go to the gym. And then I say to myself, Valerie, you are gonna feel so much better.

Just get your butt there. Even if you do nothing, just go. And I always go and I always do something, and I always, always, always feel better after the workout, right? Mm-hmm. Or the walk, whatever.

JK: Right? Like walking really does that for me. It's a mental health. Game more than anything, you know?

VL: eah, absolutely. We did skip number four though, so I can circle back.

JK: Oh, we skipped number four…

VL: Cause I feel like this is such a good one.

Avoiding/Eliminating Stress (Internal + External)

[24:15] JK: It's the biggest one. Okay, number four is stress. So let's make it number five now. It, it's stress. Excuse me. Internal stress and external stress. We usually think of stress as external, right?

Like all the things needing doing and all the things coming at us. But your body can be internally stressed as well. Like I know a lot of people that are like, no, yeah, I'm super chill, but like, they're still feeling stuff, right? So the internal stresses that can be in your body are. As simple as like food intolerances, or it could be parasites, it could be candid overgrowth, mold overgrowth, any, you know, any toxicity at all in your body is a stress.

So looking at internal stresses and external stresses, stresses King, you can be eating all the organic food and drinking all the filtered water you want. But if you can't control the stress, you're, it runs your body. It runs your body. So it's really important to keep coming back to that parasympathetic nervous system.

And that's also why I say coming back to presence as well does help that. And just finding ways that manage your stress. And that's different for everybody. Maybe it's reading, maybe it is a big workout for you. Maybe it's meditation, maybe it's breath work. Maybe it's catching up with a friend like it, maybe it's going to bed early.

I don't like, you just have to figure that out for you and experiment with things. And when I'm working with people, this is a space where a lot of people say they need to explore it more and it does need exploring, right? It's not something I can just tell you to do, cuz some people don't, don't get off on meditation, you know, it just doesn't work for them.

So even though I think it's wonderful, it's. There's a, there's a time and a place, you know?

VL: Mm-hmm. Yeah. I love that you said it's different for everyone because we are all so different. Right. And being able to customize. That for you and recognize that through the practice of presence is super helpful.

For myself, I need seven to nine hours of sleep a night. Oh, I am not a nice person the next day. And it just domino effects from there. It's not a good look. And you know what? I have some pretty great sleep hygiene and I also have some pretty great. Sleep boundaries and my phone is on airplane mode as much as my phone is my alarm, it is on airplane mode.

It goes off an hour before bed it for sleep. For me, I sleep with an eye mask and earplugs, and you can call me crazy if you want to, but it's so important for me and for how I function and how I can show up and be present with people and in these types of conversations as well. And you know, People do make fun of me sometimes for going to bed so early, or like I said, the sleep mask and the earplugs, but they don't know this version of me that doesn't get sleep.

And I'm sure if they did, they would be handing me the eye mask and the earplugs

JK: What time do you go to bed?

VL: Anywhere in between. Lately it's been between nine and 10 30. We were away in Europe, so I am getting over the jet lag, but. I try to be in bed and asleep by 10, but that's, people think that's early, so that's, I think that's a reasonable time!

Quality Sleep

[27:47] [JK: Do you know that like none of us are like, meant to be night owls or, you know, the, the optimal bedtime for your cortisol level, like your cortisol dips by 10 o'clock and you wanna hit that sleep zone and then your cortisol naturally rises around 6:00 AM. So that's your eight hour. That's a perfect eight hour window for everybody.

There's no such thing as night owls. That's a dysfunctional sleep pattern. 10 to six is ideal love. If you need a bit longer, go longer in the morning or go to bed a little bit earlier, but you're doing the right thing. Thank you.

VL: One of my, one of my Pilate's clients, she said something years and years and years ago, she said, always go to bed the same day that you wake up.

And that has forever changed my life because I was a little bit of a party animal and. That really helped me start sleeping earlier, going to bed earlier, because we would be out for all hours of the night. And honestly, nothing good happens in any of those times. And like you said, optimal sleep. Just go to bed earlier.

Your body and your life will thank you.

JK: Especially when you hit your thirties, I mean your twenties. You could kind of get away with it and do whatever, but come 30, it feels a little different, just a little.

I should have had sleep in these, in these tips because you can't heal without sleep. You can't heal without sleep. You can't function without sleep. It is uber important.

VL: That can be a bonus for sure.

Invest in a Health Coach

[29:19] JK: okay, number six. Number six was a health coach. And by that I just mean.

Somebody that knows more than you, that you connect with, that you know will help you balance out your body. And the importance of that is because

we need better energy in the world and we need people knowing how good that they can feel because things just become normal and that's your normal way of feeling, but it's not. It's not normal. We need you to feel optimal and heightened. We need you to bring that energy with you and like shower it all over the people around you in the world, cuz it only does good, right?

And so my coach says like every home needs a health coach. And if there was like that's his, you know, that's his goal is to have a health coach in every home. So that we can lift the energy of the world and just do good and be educated for our own bodies. Right?

VL: A hundred percent. And I, I wanna circle back to something you said near the beginning when you were describing your story, how you built your health team.

You had to find the people that you wanted to work with. And this is part of the journey is finding someone. Whoever that is for you, who can help you, who can support you, who can cheer you on through those. Times of exploration when you are trying to figure out what works for you. Because I, like I said, just even following you, I've learned so many things and I'm screenshoting your recipes and I'm, you know, asking questions and it's, and I, and I practice this and I do health coaching and I'm still learning, and I'm still growing and I'm.

Still, you know, having people like you on the podcast to share. Because even if this episode or this podcast just helps one person create one of these wonderful tips that you've shared with us today, like that, that is going to create a ripple effect into all other areas of their life and hopefully impossibly in their community as well.

So all of this is so wonderful.

JK: I love the ripple effect and honestly, every client I have says like, Now their partner does this, or their sister or their mom or whatever. There's always a ripple. So anybody that you can help get any bit better. There's always a ripple. I feel like we need that.

VL: Absolutely.

Emotions

[31:45] Jk: Number seven. I have emotions now. I feel, actually even this morning I just witnessed a man who I know. Tell us a very, he is going through a very deep thing and has a friend that's going through something very deep and he cried at the thought of it and it brought back everything that he had been through.

And then he was like, sorry, sorry, the, this medica, this is an older man. And so he said, the medication I'm on, it makes me more emotional than I normally am. And I said, I think that's great. Because all this stuff that you normally just push down and push down, you get to feel it now, and then you get a, you get it out of your body.

And what's wrong with feeling it? What's wrong? You're telling me something very big. It makes me feel emotional. Why shouldn't you be, you know, I think there's just like with emotions that there's nothing wrong with them, right? We're meant to feel them. We're meant to let them come through our body.

There's nothing wrong. And even especially with women with anger, there's a big space in there that's like, women can't be angry. We don't, you know, we're not supposed to show anger. What do we do with that? I think it's so important to figure out what can you do with it so that you're not holding onto it.

Same with crying, same with even just being excited. You know, we just like push these things down and down. Well, they live in our body, right? And they. They are a part of what makes us unwell. So releasing emotion, make that be normal, make that be healthy.

VL: Yes, so much. Yes. I am feeling a little bit under the weather today and I know emotions I. Are playing a big part of that. And so going back to all like a bunch of all the things that we're talking about today, I have rejigged my schedule a bit so that I can prioritize sleep better. It's a beautiful sunny day.

It is freezing cold here right now. But I do plan on going for a walk after this and implementing these things. Like we said, it's so easy and it. Because I'm not feeling so amazing today. It would be very easy for me not to do. I know that even just a short walk for me will make me feel better. But also I have been taking some time to sit with those emotions and so it's, it's quite interesting how deeply connected our body is to all the parts of each other.

Mm-hmm. So, you know, and it. It doesn't, this, this awareness doesn't happen overnight. It's been years of me connecting to my body and deepening that presence with myself. But you gotta let things go. Talking to myself,

JK: you know, I even love them. Yeah, I love that. You know, you said to me this morning like, I'm actually not feeling the best.

And I was like, great. Like, thanks for telling me, because you could have just showed up, you know, being like, And then again, like just putting it under the carpet rather than recognizing it and just getting through it. You know, if you need to have a cry today to like, great, just do it, you know?

VL: Thank you. I appreciate you holding space for me like that. It's very, it's, it's nice because I, I feel like. There are a lot of people who want to express themselves, but aren't sure where they feel safe to do that because there is a vulnerability, right? There is this, unfortunately, the society that we live in, especially for men, doesn't quote unquote allow us to feel publicly, and maybe this is my own upbringing, but it was always like, Drink some water, wipe your tears, wash your face, get on with your day kind of thing.

And yeah, I've gotta say a lot of that has changed for me. And to be able to openly say to whomever I'm with and say, Hey, I'm going through something right now. I'm really excited to be here with you, but I want you to know that I'm feeling uneasy or I'm grieving. Because honestly, from what I've learned, this this last month has been a bit of a, a whirlwind, we'll call it.

Two things can be true. You can be incredibly devastatingly sad and grieving while at the same time being excited for the day and for the community that you're with. Mm-hmm. But you can hold space for two of those things and you can allow those feelings to move through you. And it is quite a beautiful thing when you sit with where you're at.

And for myself, I am going through some grieving and it's coming in waves. Mm-hmm. And. I feel that my body not feeling optimal today is just another reminder that even though the waves are quieting, you still need to look after yourself. You still need to go through the motions. You still need to ride the waves, and we're helping, my body is helping me slow down to recognize this.

So yeah, I, these are so incredible.

JK: Mm. And also like when you speak your truth, it allows others to speak their truth, right? And then the connection with the people around you is deeper.

VL: Mm-hmm. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. I love that. Yeah. Can you get, are those, are those tips helpful? Yeah. These are amazing and I'm so excited for all seven of them.

Is there anything that hasn't been said today that you wanna add before we get into our last part of our show?

JK: I have like one more bonus one if you want me to.

VL: Let's do it. We love, we love the bonuses. Let's do it.

Mindset

[37:18] JK: Okay. The bonuses mindset and. Mindset can, mindset is so powerful, right? You can think yourself into sickness, you can think yourself into health, and I, I, the main thing about this is like, act like you already have what you desire in your head.

Like instead of, instead of like, when we're working together, I need you to tell me I'm not sleeping, I'm not whatever. But then after that, I say go forward. Say I am sleeping. If anybody else asks you, do you sleep at night? Yep. I sleep really well at night. Like you almost need to convince your body and your mind that you are doing this thing for it to be able to follow your words.

VL: I'm so glad you said this because specifically with Sleep too, I forget what podcast I heard this on, but someone on the show was saying that their New Year's resolution was to stop saying that they're bad sleepers, and almost overnight, pun intended, their sleep habit changed completely and all of a sudden they could sleep amazing, but they stopped saying, I'm a horrible sleeper, or I'm a terrible sleeper.

That's the only thing they did listening. It's crazy.

JK: Yeah, right. When my kids aren't, aren't well. Like, I never say like, you're sick, you know, you're really sick right now. I just say your body's healing right now. No, it's, it's doing all the things it needs to do right now to get you better.

It's doing a really good job, you know, instead of telling them you're sick, you're sick. It's your healing, you know, it's just being conscious of the words you use because you, your body is listening.

VL: Mm-hmm. Not to get too witchy and wooy, but I call them spells when we say things like that or when we, we say, yeah, let's do it.

When we cast spells on us ourselves, like when we say, oh, I get sick every year, or I get sick once a year. You are literally making yourself sick every year because you say that.

JK: Yeah. Your words hold a lot of power. Your energy holds a lot of power. And I know like when you're in the depths of healing and you really just feel like total shit trying to, like a lot of, you know, many people say like, I can't just fake it.

I can't just fake it. I'm like, You don't need to be like this bubbly, bursting, whatever. All you need to do is just say, I'm getting better. I am healing. I am sleeping, I'm eating well. I'm moving my body. I am.

VL: I love that. Yeah. Thank you so much for all of these incredible tips today. I am very excited for this episode to go live as people are listening to the show.

Please let us know where we can find you, where we can follow you, how we can support you in your business.

INSTAGRAM | @jesskirby_youth.element

WEBSITE | https://www.jesskirby.com

Rapid Fire Round

[40:44] VL: Okay, my friend, there is one more part of the show. It is a rapid fire round. We have four questions. Are you ready?

JK: Oh yeah, I’m ready!

VL: What are you currently reading, or what is your favourite book?

JK: I'm currently reading The Hormone Cure by Sarah Gottfried, and it's thick, and I've read it back to back several times and I'm just like, ingraining it, ingraining it, ingraining it into my brain because I want to help women with hormones a lot.

And there's a, it's complicated.

It’s really good. It's like the Bible for hormones. I love her, all of her work.

VL: 2. What does “Empowerment” mean to you?

JK: Ooh. Feeling aligned with your gut. Being able to carry out your biggest desires.

3. What is your longest-standing habit?

JK: Oh, I have so many. I dunno which one has been around the longest. Eating whole foods dry brushing would be a second. Mm-hmm. Tongue scraping would be a third.

VL: What are you currently working towards?

JK: I am, this is a bit more personal. I guess. I'm working towards, Not doing it all in my house. I'm working towards enabling my partner to do things and for him to fail and it to be okay and for me not to have to do everything. Because I've chosen it that way, not because the help's not been there. It's just like I tend to take over.

So yeah, I'm working on, on receiving help.

VL: Oh, that's great. I love that for you. Exciting. I think it's exciting too. Yeah. This has been absolutely incredible. Thank you so much for sharing your deep wisdom with us today. I really wanna take a second to acknowledge I. All of the work that you've done for yourself, for your family, and how you show up for your community as well.

It is an absolute pleasure to have you as someone who I like to call a friend, and also someone who I've now been able to share your story with Almond the podcast. So thank you so much for everything and I look forward to seeing how you receive the support that you so, Deserve, I wanna say. So thank you so much. Thank you.

JK: Thanks so much for having me, and thanks everybody for listening. This has been awesome.

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!