E257: Navigating Motherhood and Career: Confidence, Balance & Self-Advocacy Tips for Working Moms

In this episode of the Women's Empowerment Podcast, I sit down with Katie, host of the Contagious Confidence podcast, as she shares her insights on navigating the challenges of motherhood and career. Katie’s journey from struggling with confidence to becoming a voice for women seeking empowerment has equipped her with invaluable wisdom for working moms.

Valerie LaVigne: Welcome back to the Women's Empowerment Podcast. Today we're joined by Katie Hawkes. Starting from a very young age, Katie always struggled with confidence, confidence in herself, in her relationships, body image, and even in her work.

It wasn't until 2017 when she hired a life coach that her whole world changed. This experience led her on a journey to become the most confident version of herself. And she quickly realized that she was not alone. What started as hour long conversations with a friend during the pandemic turned into the contagious confidence podcast.

The goal of the podcast is to give women who struggle with confidence, a place to find a community and yet encouragement that they need to gain confidence in every area of their lives. Since it started, the contagious confidence podcast has received thousands of downloads and has welcomed guests from all walks of life.

Katie is on a mission to prove that confidence really is contagious and she's just getting started when she's not podcasting. Katie works in marketing for an e commerce website and enjoys every minute of it. She lives in Charlotte, North Carolina with her husband, Gill daughter, Layla and their adorable golden doodle Hank.

Thank you so much for being here. Katie. We are so excited to have you.

Katie Hawkes: Absolutely, Valerie. I, I had Valerie on my podcast. Was it like, it was over a year ago. It had to be, but it feels like it wasn't that long ago. It feels like yesterday. Yeah. Yeah. And I loved our conversation. And so when I saw there was an opportunity to be on your podcast, I was like, sign me up.

VL: I love a podcast swap. And you know what? I think the timing worked out perfectly because we are both new moms. You're a little bit more ahead of me, which is super exciting to get some of your wisdom. Even last year when we were chatting, you gave me some great tips when I was dealing with a lot of different nausea, heartburn, all the things, struggling to drink lots of water.

You said have frozen coconut water. To hydrate you and I look for electrolytes and I was like, this is the greatest idea ever. So I made a whole batch of them. And I did, I did like them for a time.

KH: And Tiz, the, the way with pregnancy, you like something for a while and then you're like, Oh, I can't even look at that anymore.

VL: Don't even put that in my face. I can't even, yeah, exactly. I can't even look at it. Well, I'm really excited because. Not only are we on a very similar journey in life, as, as well as quite a few of our listeners. And what I will say is that it's so incredible to have a community of people or just even a small group of people who understand what you're going through.

And one of the things I know I'm certainly navigating right now is working and being a mom. And this new kind of role alongside what I was doing before and yeah, there are a lot of different, I guess, aspects to it. So I'd love to start with kind of your, your kind of story with early struggles with confidence.

You shared that confidence was a struggle for you in various aspects of your life. How do you feel that those early experiences shape your approach to both your career and now motherhood?

KH: Oh I love that question. I mean, I really think that I gave myself the time to really prepare myself for a shift in my career.

Before I got pregnant, that was something that my husband and I wanted. I knew it was somewhere in our journey. So I started very early making preparations. in my career and my physical, at how I felt physically what I was doing, physically, like changing my products, making sure I was taking care of my nervous system.

All of that stuff going to therapy and making sure my mental health is ready. Cause I'm a pepper. I like to plan and I like to, for me, it was really important to be prepared. So when I was going through all the problems My confidence journey, and I'm still on that journey and I, it's like, I learned something new every day, but when I started that I realized I needed to get to know myself.

Like, how was I going to raise another human being if I didn't know myself and know how I operate and what I needed? Because when we're taking care of ourselves. We can take care of others. And there's a saying that says you can't pour from an empty cup. And I was empty all the time. I just was, I felt like I was pouring, pouring, pouring, and then I didn't have any thing filling me up.

So I was like, how can I continue to live like this? And I, I did not enjoy living like that. And I was really struggling with what I wanted to do with my life and like. Was the path that I was on, was that something that I wanted to pursue? Was it going to be sustainable in my life goal? So I had really had to explore that.

And so I really took a lot of time to get my note, to know myself. I was, it was so uncomfortable. It was like literally having growing pains. I just. I was like, I don't want to know this about myself, but now that I do, I can kind of figure out a better way to be. Cause I think a lot of people will get to know themselves and look at it as an excuse.

Well, I'm this way, so this is how I'm going to be. But I look at it as like a challenge, like I'm this way and I'm going to like figure out how I can be better. So that was kind of my. approach to motherhood was getting to know myself and being ready to take on something like that. And I know a lot of people out there don't have that.

That privilege to do that. Sometimes it's, you get pregnant and you're like, Oh gosh. Okay. But for me, I really wanted to start before I was even ready. And I think that's been my entire life motto is start before you're ready, but I was scared to do that. And I've really tried to work through that and being on this confidence journey and having my podcasts has really helped me.

Wow.

VL: You said so many incredible things and I think what a lot of people don't realize when they're preparing for motherhood for as a first time mom, you know, you think that you need to have the nursery set up and you're counting how many diapers am I going to need to buy? all of those things now seem so frivolous, not important, but really the deep work.

If you're not doing it before, you're certainly going to be doing it when you become a mom. Yes. And what's so incredible too, is what probably actually helped your physical body to get pregnant or getting rid of those, those, Toxic products in your home, right? Creating a, creating a better environment for you to thrive as a pregnant woman.

That is so smart. And a lot of people don't do that. And this is going off a little bit off topic, so I won't stay here too long, but. Unfortunately, what happens is we're so focused on wanting to have that baby or wanting to have that experience that we forget that there are so many more things impacting us in our outside environment and inside that mental health piece that you spoke about.

Yeah, again, we could be here for another podcast episode talking about just mental health and motherhood and how it's not really talked about. Hmm. Oh my goodness. We've just cracked everything open. Well, what I can, what I can say, because I do want to keep us on our, on our topic I feel like a lot of what you've done is prepared for some of those fears that we get when we're becoming a mom or wanting to become a mom.

And then the baby, the baby actually comes and we're like, what do we do? I feel like I said that more in my more now than my entire life. What do we do? What do I do? Google, Google, what do I do? If, why does this happen? Yeah. So when it comes to those fears and the impact on our career, I know that There's probably some common ones you can think about, maybe speak to that, but how might those common fears for many women impact or limit their career growth, career growth, and how would you, or what would your best advice be for women who are feeling this way and facing those fears of, okay, I'm going to become a mom, so much is going to change in my life more than I know, how do I handle this?

In relation to my career,

KH: I love, I was ready to talk about this because I, that was a real concern. And I think we need to acknowledge that a lot of women think about that. That's 1 of the 1st things when you're in the stage of life, you're in where you want to have a baby or you're pregnant and you're like, Oh, my gosh, how is this going to impact my career?

That's 1 of the 1st thoughts. And that was one of my first thoughts. And that's why for so long, I was like, not until I'm established in my career. Am I going to have a child? And I, I felt like I was in a pretty good place when we started trying. But I know I'll, I also know that a lot of women do not have.

That opportunity to really think about, Oh, well, okay. I want to be established in my career. So I also want to like acknowledge where I'm at and then acknowledge where other people may be at too, because I like, I, I love to work. I love what I do. I work for an e commerce company and content, and it's my favorite thing ever, and I really enjoy it.

And I also have my podcast and those are things that really bring me a lot of joy I wanted to continue doing even when I was mom, but there's constant, like there's constantly this thought in my head. It's like, well, what if I wanted to stay home? What if I wanted to just be a mom? Could I, like, after I had my baby, I was like, I just want a break.

I feel like I haven't had a break and I'm on maternity leave, but it's not really break. My entire life and now I've brought this baby into the world and they're depending on me for everything and like I It was a lot and Really thinking through how I wanted to get back to work was also something that I don't think a lot of women think about so There there is a lot of fear.

I feel like any parent And I don't want to forget the dads here, but any parent, whether you're a mom or a dad, having a child will impact your career in some way. For women, it's a lot more of an impact, because whether you choose to nurse, or can nurse, and then also, like, making sure you're babysitting developmental stages, and all of this stuff, it's, it's Like having like four jobs at once, and then you have a career on top of that, then you have a relationship that you want to, maybe you want to continue, or you might not.

I, I'm also acknowledging that there are people that might not have a partner in it. And it's, there's all these things that you have to think about, and it can be really overwhelming. And I don't want to scare anyone to not have a child just because of the impact that it has. But I feel like it impacts for the better.

And I think Valerie, we talked about this when you were on my podcast is we were both weren't really having a great time in our pregnancies. It was not, we felt awful. There was so many things that we were like, Oh, I'm so sick. Oh, I don't feel good. But then that entire time I was telling myself, this is only temporary.

I'm not going to feel this way the whole time. Yeah. It's really sucks right now. And that's what I've told myself. Even like after the baby got here, as I was recovering postpartum, I was like, this is only temporary. This really sucks right now. It's really painful right now, but I'm gonna get through it.

And I think if we look at things as only being temporary, that's not gonna be like this forever. That can help us kind of see like the, the other side of things. Because when we're in it, it's just like, So hard to see like sleep regressions. I know that you're going through one right now. I just got out of one, but like they hit you and you're like, Oh my gosh, like I need sleep.

My baby needs sleep, but like, what is happening? We were hitting like a really good rhythm and now it's just stopped. So it's like, it's all those sorts of things that happen. Like one, it's only temporary. And then when you get in, when you go back to work after having a baby. If you choose to do that or if you can do that you have, like, you'll get into a good rhythm for a while and then something will happen.

You're like, oh, gosh, like. What? I mean, like, I felt like I just figured this out, and now everything's changed again. So, giving yourself a lot of grace to get through that, and like, understand that, yes, things are gonna change, and there's a real fear associated with that, but it's only temporary. You're gonna figure it out.

I, I have to tell myself that all the time. It's gonna, it's gonna be okay. We're gonna get through this. This is only temporary. This sleep regression will not last for two years. Like, maybe like a little bit longer than I want, but it's, we're gonna, we're gonna get through it. And I think it's also important, the things that I talked about before, to like, equip yourself mentally.

physically, I'm like, okay, what helps me feel my best? Even if I'm not getting a lot of sleep, what is the one thing that is going to help me be a better mom in this? And I think for me, it was like, the first thing to go for me was getting any movement in. I was going really, like, I had like a four month streak where I was getting up before she did, and I was moving my body and I felt so good.

And then when the sleep regression hit, That was the last thing I wanted to do.

VL: Thousand percent. My partner was like, Oh, if you want to go to the gym, like I can watch him for an hour. I'm like, I can't keep my eyes open right now. I, I can't lift a weight. I don't want to drive to the gym. I want to put my head down on a pillow and be uninterrupted and sleep.

KH: Yeah. And it's knowing what you need, you know, like, and knowing what you need when it comes to your career. Like. If you, I think acknowledging and letting people know where you're at, like, hey, I'm going through a sleep regression right now and I, like, I really can't be a hundred percent. It's impossible for me to be a hundred percent.

It's going to take me longer to respond to your email. I'll be here, but I'm not going to respond immediately. Like, just go ahead and putting that out there. Like, hey, like, I'm not. The person that I want to be when it comes to my work right now, and I need you to meet and kind of meet me halfway. And I think that letting people know also, there's an understanding there.

As women, we don't want to, like, let people know, like, oh, we're going on, like, two hours of sleep right now, and we still have stuff to do, and there's, like, a to do list that's a mile long, because it, that is, I mean, even, there's so many layers to this, but career is not the only thing. That's impacted.

It's a big part. And if you want to have a career, that's, that's something that you have to allocate your time to, but then there's also being a mom and having it, like, if you want to have a clean house and don't want to hire out to have someone clean it for you, like me, it's like, I'm looking at all the dog hair on the floor and I'm like, I can't remember the last time I vacuumed, or I'm looking at my toilet, like, when was the last time I cleaned this toilet, you know?

So, but I had to be okay with, like, letting that go, and we need to do the same thing when it comes to our career. We need to do what's best for us, and I am so thankful that I have a job that allows me to be a mom. Why? Because I, I get to work from home, which I love, and I'm able to be a mom at the same time.

I'm, I haven't put my child in child care yet because I'm really struggling with that. And that's another thing we could do. It's like having,

VL: let's write down a list of other topics. We could, we'll have a series,

KH: like this one question brings on like all the other things that you have to think about.

And it's, it's like, I wouldn't trade it for anything, but this is the reality of being a mom and I think I hope I answered your question. I feel like I went on a couple different tangents there, but

VL: well, and I'm glad you said a few. I'm glad you said all the things, but some of the things that really stood out.

I think that are important to highlight is that. It's not just the fears that come up, but it's the emotions that come along with those fears. And something you said that I really want to reiterate was the acknowledgement of them. This really sucks. This is really hard and it's only temporary.

And it's almost like this mantra that you have to repeat for yourself. And I say it to mine, mine's slightly different. I say, this is just a season. And then the other day I was like, this is the longest season of my life. What is in this ending? But I think one of the, one of the most impactful things has been just saying, Hey, I'm struggling.

Hey, I need help. Or Hey, I can't take this on right now. Even with this podcast interview, we were supposed to do this in two days time in the evening when I set my calendar up, this made sense. Now that we booked this, I don't know, that was maybe two, three weeks ago that we scheduled this in things have changed in the last two to three weeks.

And you know what, in two or three weeks time, they will probably change again. So I felt really nervous to reach out to you, but I also was like, okay, she's going to get it. Hey, I'm going through a sleep regression. I'm not really sure what's happening. Can we reschedule this for X, Y, Z. Right. And you were like yeah, totally get it.

So again, I appreciate you being accommodating because it's. Like what a relief. But to your point of just saying out loud to people or even just to yourself, Hey, this is really hard for me. I need some help, or I need to make this change, or I need to let this go. And a lot of those non essential things will get done eventually, or they won't by you.

Maybe we have to delegate. And then again, that's like probably a whole other episode. So I think that's really important for people to hear is that, Hey, it's okay that you're struggling and it's okay to admit it. It's okay to ask for the help you need. I know that you are a fan of that self advocacy, not only, you know, with self care, but also in your work.

So when it comes to the importance of advocating for oneself at work, can you share specific ways that moms can ask for the support they need, whether that's, you know, flexible hours, or maybe it's like Choosing projects that work better for you. Like you're working from home situation. Or even growth opportunities because sometimes I feel like that's hard to ask for as a, as a working mom.

KH: Yeah. Well, I think there's, there's a lot of situations that you can be in when it comes to her. And I think it's okay to ask. Like, I think a lot of people are just, they're afraid and they're not sure what's and I'm like, I don't know what the answer is going to be. And like, like you said, if you need to, like, figure out a different way of working and like you said, you're nervous to reach out to me to reschedule this.

And I totally get it. And a lot of people don't though, you know, a lot of people want, and it's usually the people that don't have children. But I think at the same time, a lot of people will, and we just need to put it out there and be like, Hey, this would work better for me. Because you're advocating for yourself and I, we're not taught to advocate for ourselves.

We're not taught to be like, Hey, this is the best thing for me right now. We tend to just kind of grin and bear it. Especially me. And I learned that I really need to start advocating for myself at home. Like no one's going to know. I don't, like, I, like, I assume that everyone knows, like, I, especially my partner, I'm like, I just assume that, like, if he sees, like, I haven't done laundry in a little while, I'm hoping he'll put it in there, but I haven't told him that I, that would be nice, you know, I just want him to see it and do it.

Right. But I realized in having a child and how it was impacting me and my day to day that I had to let him know. I need help with this, or I need you to take her or like, even this morning, I had her all this morning to myself, and my husband had to go into the office and then, like, it was tough, it was a tough morning like, no naps are hard even when you try to put her down twice, and she still doesn't But when he walked in, I was like, how are you?

I was like, it's been a morning. Can you take her please? I just need a second. I need some time to myself. And that's okay. And it's not like, I have a lot of guilt associated with like, needing time away from her. And I think a lot of moms deal with that too. Val, I'm sure you deal with a lot of mom guilt too.

Because it's like, I It's, it's hard to be needed all the time. Like we know our child, we know what they need. Like we're getting to know them, but also like every day is new. We're like, okay, this is new. Like, wow. What worked yesterday does not work today. And all of that stuff, but it's acknowledging that we need to take time for ourselves and really advocate like, okay, what do I need right now?

What do I need in this moment and be okay with asking for it? Because it's hard, and sometimes I don't even know what I need. I know I like, sometimes I need a shower, sometimes I need to go for a walk. And I need to give whoever I need to a heads up, be like, Hey, I need some time to myself today. When we have a moment, can you, can you take her, can I go do this?

And being okay with that. Because you're a better mom when you take time. For yourself. Well, it's like, it's also the pouring, not being able to pour or mom,

VL: the pouring from the empty cup.

KH: Yeah, pouring from the

VL: mom brain is still a thing a year later. Yes.

KH: Oh, my gosh. Yeah. Well, fun fact. When you have a baby, your brain changes and then.

I think pregnancy, your brain changes. And then when you have the baby, your brain changes. So mom brain is a real thing. Your brain is so overloaded with all of these like to do lists and everything that You don't have the capacity to remember, remember what you're talking about.

VL: Always people are like, Hey, can you, and I'm like, can you write that down?

Can you text that? And then also remind me if I don't reply to you in two days time. Can you, can you repeat that? It's so true. Yeah, I think you're right about a lot of the fear that comes around with advocating for yourself and your career and your home. Just knowing what you need is another one. I'd love to hear some of your confidence building tips that you found helpful for moms who want to show up powerfully, but also presently in career and in family life, because I feel like that's something that I struggle with is especially, you know, as someone who works from home, how can you be both present and powerful in your career and in as a mother?

How do you, how do you do that confidence?

KH: Well, I'm still figuring it out. I'll let you know, I'll let you know, but I don't, I think I'm always going to be learning. I think I, I think there's a lot of power and vulnerability and talking about things that people don't usually talk about. And I always try to like, Let my friends and my husband know where I'm at with things.

If I'm feeling some sort of way, I need to talk through an emotion. I, I try to say something and words are not my best. Like I'm a content creator, but they're not like, Like I, like right now, sometimes I can't think of how I'm feeling. I just have to start talking. I'm like, okay, like, I can't really figure out what's going on, but I know something's not right.

So let me just talk it out until I can figure out what's going on. I think. We need to be okay with doing that too. And not just like suffering in silence. Cause I think that's also something that moms do. And then like, it can build, build up and bubble up. And then it's like, Oh my gosh, I just like blew up at my child and they don't even know what, like what this emotion is.

Like even my tone of voice, my husband has to tell me sometimes like, she doesn't know, like, it's not like, she, she's like, My daughter just turned one and she's just starting to figure like, if we say, no, don't put that in your mouth, she'll get upset because she's like, okay, this tone is like, this is different than then they talk to me.

I don't think they want me to do this, but it's, but I also, I have to apologize. Apologize to her sometimes because I'm like, I'm sorry. Mommy was just really stressed and I'm just I'm sorry. And then sometimes like if I have to go do something and I have to sit her in the floor and she'll crawl around like I'll say mommy's a better mommy if she does this and we have to be okay with that.

We've done a lot of work with with with pouring into ourselves and knowing ourselves because when you're needed and nurturing a baby, it is so hard to have time for yourself. And it like, I mean, to speak to the confidence piece of it, like I will go through days where I'm like, Oh, I'm like the best mom ever.

And then there's other days where I'm like, well, what am I doing? I don't feel like this. I'm just, can I start over? Can the stages start over? And like body confidence is another layer of things that you have to go through postpartum. Like I'm still dealing with that. I'm a year postpartum and I'm still like, what is my body?

Like, I can't figure out what's going on. Everything hurts. But also like, I know that I did this amazing thing, but at the same time, I'm not like, I'm not really feeling it right now, clothes are hard, and there's, there's just so many layers to confidence as well, and I think it's always going to change throughout your motherhood journey, and also, this is something that I didn't think I was going to, I was going to talk about, but how we talk to ourselves, like our children are watching that.

I remember my mom talking to herself about herself like negatively and I started doing that and we have to know that our children are watching us and if like, we're going to have our days. We're not where we're not feeling it. We're not confident in ourselves. We're not confident in our mothering skills, but we need to understand that how we work through that and how we talk to ourselves.

Our children are watching us and are going to learn from us.

VL: Yeah.

KH: Does that answer?

VL: Yeah. It does. It does. I mean, again, you, we're, we're going into a lot of deeper layers and so many more points are being brought up. Like I said, it's a huge topic. I mean, connecting motherhood and career together, it's, it's a lot.

Motherhood on its own is a lot. I thought I was busy before I was a mom. It's laughable. You don't know busy until someone depends on you for literally everything. Like you said one of the things you talked about was like, the identity of who you are and how you feel about yourself, how you talk about yourself.

I think becoming a mom is such a transformative experience and it can also feel like a big identity shift. I, you know, I'm, I'm not really of the, the group that's like, Oh, I'm a mama and I need to wear the mama t shirt and the mama hat. I'm not really like that, but I get it. I definitely get it because that's.

Pretty much how you feel all the time. So I guess my question is, how is it that you balance the different sides of yourself, the professional, the mother, the individual? How do you stay true to each of those parts of you?

KH: That's a really good question. I mean, I think when I became a mom, I became a different version of me.

There was nothing I could do. Like I, I felt a total shift Of like, wow, I'm not the same person I was, I think differently, I look at situations differently, like, I, but I also think it helped me come more into who I am and realize like, oh, wow, like, I'm capable of so much more than I thought, and I love this, and it's great, and it's hard, but I'm, I'm doing it, I'm doing it, and I think, like, It's so easy to lose yourself in pregnancy and motherhood, and it's okay if you do, but I think we also need to know that, like, we are more than just a mom a mom is a huge privilege to be but we are, we are so much more than that, and I think we, everyone's different.

And especially when it comes to your career, if your career is important to you, make it a priority, figure out a way to do it. Like I love my podcasts. I don't get paid to do the podcast. This is something that I do because I love it. And I really had to work on figuring out how to navigate scheduling interviews.

Like, I don't, I do a lot of stuff myself and I had to make sure that I had like, My husband wasn't in a meeting so he could watch her. And like, I had to coordinate all of that stuff, but it was important to me. So I prioritized it. And I think when you become a mom, know what you need, really ask yourself, what do I need?

What do I need to make sure that I'm the best person that I can be? And sometimes that's asking your husband to take the kid, or sometimes that's hiring help because I, everyone's different. And like. I don't have a big community community around me where I live. We don't have family close. So a lot of times my baby's coming with me, my husband, but at the same time, like if I prioritize those things and I make sure like communicate those things, I need time to myself.

I remember one of the, like the first couple of days after I got home from the hospital, I told my husband, I was like, I need. A shower to feel like a normal person. So if you can just watch her for 30 minutes, while I just take some time for myself and just like, have a moment for us, that's what I need in this moment.

And no knowing that will change. And sometimes some days I didn't get a shower and some days like I did my hair and I like blow dried it and I felt so good. And then she spit up in it and I'm like, you know, so that like, Knowing what you need and being okay with yourself and giving yourself compassion.

And I like, I've also like gone off on a tangent here, but I think what I want most people to hear from this is like, it's okay. You don't have to have it all figured out. You don't have to have everything set up in the nursery before you even get like home from the hospital. I mean, I think it took me like seven months to get my daughter's nursery where I wanted it still not done.

And she's over a year, but being okay with that, letting go of things that. are not serving you. Like, you know, like, I love having a clean house, but that's not a season I'm in right now. I'm not gonna have a clean house right now. I don't think I'll ever have a clean house again the way that I want it, you know?

But I had to be okay with letting go of that. And it's, I think it's so much easier said than done, and I really had to work at it. Be okay with letting things go. Being okay with, like, Laundry that I wanted to get done two days ago, but it's still sitting there like being okay and letting go of the things that are not important but also making time and space and room for the things that are, because when it comes down to it, being with my baby is one of the most important things to me.

But also like showing up to work and meeting deadlines is also something that's important to me and it takes some shifting around. It takes some getting up at 6am to like finish something up because it's due at 10am. Like, but I, I'm okay with that. And I, that's how I'm navigating it. And we're all going to navigate it differently.

VL: Yeah, it's, I'm, as I'm listening to you, I'm like, yeah, I've made quite a few shifts. I used to be someone who was so strong with boundaries of like, I'm not working after this time. I'm not answering my phone after this time in the evening and weekends are for family. I don't work on Sundays, but now it's almost the complete opposite because I am at home with the baby all day.

I'm in a different situation than you. So I. Co own a physical brick and mortar business. And I'm so fortunate to have an incredible business partner. So now, right, right now, most of my responsibilities and daily tasks are virtual or remote, which has been incredible because I can be home. However, with nap refusals and sleep regressions, a lot of my work is getting done, a lot of those emails are getting answered in the evening after he goes to bed and I'm not someone who typically works really well at nighttime, but I definitely can't be present in the day and do those things or I'll forget something or I'll open an email and I'll read it, but I'll forget to reply to it.

And then it's like, oh, my gosh. So I've had to basically say, okay, you know what the laptop actually is shut during the day. And it opens at this time for sure. Maybe if there's a nap happening, I can do it then. And then on the weekends, my partner isn't working. He's a nine to five Monday to Friday kind of person.

So, or similar, but so on the weekends is when I can be at the studio or I can get work done or sometimes it's interviews. And that's, that has been probably the toughest for me because I think of weekends as family time. So I'm very. careful about what I do or how I schedule it. And then I don't know if you've noticed this, but do you feel like you can get so much more done in such a short amount of time now that your mom, you're like, Oh, I can do those 10 things in an hour.

I don't know what it is. It's like this burst of energy that you get that you're so productive at like a very, because that's, I think it's because it's all the time you have.

KH: Yeah. Oh my gosh. Yes. That is Actually, what I've said multiple times is like, I'm much more productive in a very short amount of time and that's why how I get a lot of my work done.

It's like, when I have that chunk of time, I don't have time to get distracted. Like, I'm just like, honing in on this and I like, I have to get it done. Maybe it's like the time pressure or it's like, Oh, I don't know when she's going to wake up or I don't know when she's going to get fussy. So I'm really making the most of the time that you have.

Yeah. And like, because, When you're, when you become a mom, time takes on a whole different meaning. It's like, one, how is my baby already a year old? And then two, it's

VL: like, why isn't this day over?

KH: So it's like, it's. Taking the time that you have and making the most of it

VL: and

KH: also being okay. If it doesn't happen, you know, cause I was like really banking on, cause I was preparing for our interview and I was really banking on my daughter going down for a nap at least for like 20 minutes.

That's all I needed, but she wouldn't. And I tried to put her down twice and it just wasn't working. And I like, she's on the other side of the wall. And I don't hear a sound machine. So I'm assuming she woke up, but she, my husband finally got her down for nap, but we had to keep trying and it's okay. If your day looks different every single day, it's just making the most of those little pockets of time.

And sometimes it's not sitting in front of my computer. Sometimes it's going for a walk and like making the, like figuring out what I need in that moment. And prioritizing it and setting yourself up for success too. Like if I want to go for a walk at lunch, I'm, I'm setting my clothes out the night before, or I'm like making it easier for me to grab clothes or going out in the clothes I'm in, you know, like I'm not changing.

This is what you get as a mom, you're figuring it out as you go. And I think that's really important. Like, you don't have to have everything figured out and it's going to kind of like, You're gonna make it work

VL: You've shared so many incredible key insights so much so many helpful things I think people just really need to hear sometimes because whether you are a mom or You are thinking about becoming a mom or you're pregnant and almost there Well, you're kind of a mom already when you're pregnant.

But anyway or maybe you're like, yeah, I've been a mom for a while and I just really needed this reminder. I think all of the things you said today were so key and so helpful and they're really going to land because I'm I'm feeling everything that you said. I'm like, yep. Yes 100%.

KH: I feel like we could have, like, we could keep this conversation going all day with all of the things that we have to say and it, you feel so many things at once and it's like opposite emotions too.

It's like guilt, but also relief and all the things, all the things so layered. Oh my gosh. Like,

VL: I love this kid so much. And also why aren't you going to sleep? Yes. It's really the best time of my life. Yeah. It's so crazy. I feel like a crazy person sometimes.

KH: Well, and I love what you said about the seasons.

It's the season you're in. Yeah. And then a couple of days later, it might be a totally different season. You never know.

VL: It truly feels like that. And it's okay. It's okay that it's a little bit chaotic. Yeah. We're getting through it. Okay. We have a rapid fire round to wrap up the show. Three questions.

Are you ready?

KH: I'm ready.

VL: Question number one is what does empowerment mean to you?

KH: Supporting yourself.

VL: Question number two, what is the best piece of advice you have for new moms? I feel like this whole episode was that, but maybe just one thing.

KH: It's going to be okay. You're going to be okay. Your baby's going to be okay.

VL: That's a good one. Everyone needs to hear that every day. And then the final question is, what is one way you are taking care of yourself this week?

KH: Having a conversation with you, Valerie. This is like self care for me. I love talking about things. So having this podcast interview.

VL: Oh, that's so sweet. I do agree though, because the podcast does feel like a labor of love sometimes. So when you were saying like you were prioritizing it, I totally felt that.

And Sometimes I just, I get so much energy from these conversations and I just need it sometimes, especially when you're like cooped up and you're talking to a baby all day.

KH: Yeah. Yeah.

VL: Some reciprocal conversation here with an adult.

KH: Same, same. And that's important. And I, your community is so important and people that you surround yourself with, like, especially when you become a mom, it's like, I didn't realize how important it was until I was there, you know, and you don't know until you experience it yourself,

VL: the wake up call that I had through pregnancy and through motherhood.

And, you know, people say it's different with every pregnancy and it's different with every kid. I can totally see that because yeah, again, probably for another conversation, but I had a lot of expectations that were not met just the capacity alone. We talked about. Was a huge wake up call. Like, Whoa, what a reality check.

Katie, thank you so much again for the insights, for the advice, for the encouragement. I think that there is an opportunity to really come back to yourself as a mother in this new way that you've. Been transformed into this new version of you, and it's a really powerful, potent time in someone's life.

And it's also really easy to slip into guilt, like you talked about, to the fears, the overwhelm, all the other things that you said. And again, you gave. A lot of sound advice to coping with all of those things. So I really appreciate you taking the time and for adjusting this time today. You are an amazing mom and I see that through just how you show up in this conversation and all of the other things that you do.

So again, I want to acknowledge you. I want to and I hope you have the best day.

KH: Well, thank you, Valerie. And thank you so much for having me on. And I love what you're doing. I'm here for it. And it's the encouragement that I need. And seeing you navigate motherhood is also encouraging. And you're inspiring so many women, whether you know it or not.

And hang in there. I know it's hard. It's hard right now. And there's going to be something else that comes along and it's going to be harder. But, you know, It's the season. It's temporary. You'll get through it. And yeah, I just, I appreciate you and I, I'm sure we'll have another conversation soon. For sure.

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!