E110: Q&A: Healthy Habits

[00:29] Hello welcome back to the women’s empowerment podcast! This is our final episode of 2020 and what a year it has been!!!

Last week we celebrated the year with our Women’s Empowerment Holiday Party and we counted down the top 5 episodes of the year. If you haven’t already listened to that episode, head over to WWW.VALERIELEAVINGELIFE.COM/109 so you can join in on the holiday fun!

Episode #109: Holiday Party: 2020 Countdown! www.valerielavignelife.com/109

Today’s episode is a Q&A Special! Every 10 episodes I answer 10 questions all about a specific topic, and our theme this round is Healthy Habits. Which is the perfect segway to the sponsor of this episode!

This podcast episode is brought to you by my Healthy Habits workshop! I created these monthly workshops so that you could feel connected, and supported with creating your healthy habits, rituals, and lifestyle routines. In the virtual group setting you will be able to learn about the healthy habit theme of the month, as well as ask questions specific to your own needs and journey.

The workshops are here to help you go from overwhelmed and confused about habit-building, healthy lifestyle, and essential oils, and give you clarity and confidence with finding a routine that works best for you.

To join the new Healthy Habit workshop, go to WWW.VALERIELAVIGNELIFE.COM/WORKSHOP and sign up today!

This past workshop was all about Rituals & Transitions and it was such a success with the group of women that showed up and participated. They also had some great questions, which I know listeners of the podcast are also asking!

[2:18] Let’s start with Kaylie, she asked:

#1. How can we recognize when a healthy habit is no longer serving us? When can we know it’s time to move on vs just not feeling motivated?

This is a great question!

It’s possible that the habits we’ve built will no longer serve us, because circumstances change, relationships change, we change. I mean, take this year for example… BIG CHANGES!

The question to ask ourselves is: are my habits bringing me closer to my current goals or halting my growth? This is why we always start with our intention, and we build out our habits around that intention.

Not all habits are good, or healthy, and when our goals change, so do our behaviours. You’ll want to reevaluate your goals and daily behaviours to see if they are in alignment.

Kaylie also asked..

[3:14] #2. How do we prevent feeling guilty/bad/lazy if we miss our habits?

I have three answers and they’re sprinkled with a bit of tough love. You ready?

Firstly: Let it go. Missing a habit happens. It’s okay. Habits are easy to do, and they are a lot easier NOT to do. We all miss a day sometimes, but feeling guilty or bad or lazy doesn’t bring you closer to your goals. It actually does the opposite.

Secondly: Take a break. Maybe your body needs to rest? Perhaps you needed to feel what it was like to NOT do it, so that you remember why you are doing it in the first place? Realign with your intention.

Thirdly: Ask yourself: is this habit helping me or hurting me? Consider what or why you’re feeling unmotivated and not doing the work? Is your habit too complicated? Is it at the wrong time of day? Is not not serving your bigger soul goals? If it’s not helping you, it might be hurting you. On the other hand, there might be something you need to do BEFORE implementing this habit you’re struggling to keep consistent with. It’s an opportunity for investigation.

Sonia had a really common question....

[4:34] #3 I’m looking for a healthy habit when it comes to eating more whole foods, but not actually having to prepare, cook, steam, whole foods. Implementing small habits here and there to eat better.

I had a chuckle at this question because I know Sonia, and SHE knows the answer I’m going to give her. I know she knows this because she is a coach and this is literally what we teach.

How many times have we wanted something in life but we didn’t want to put in the work? Honestly I couldn’t even tell you because TBH I’ve lost count.

This question leads me to simplify the habit as much as possible. HEALTHY CAN BE SIMPLE. I feel like I need this printed on a t-shirt. Honestllllly! There are meal subscription services, pre-made juices and smoothies, opportunities to hire chefs or someone to prep you some meals that you can freeze. There are a lot of services out there.

If you’re not interested in investing in these services well… Sonia actually answered her own question in her actual question, when she said, “implementing small habits here and there to eat better.”

Start small! Maybe it’s drinking more water, or incorporating more vegetables. Perhaps it’s making balanced lunches or dinners twice a week. Make it simple and keep it simple!

Craig and I make breakfast smoothies every night. We both get up pretty early and are out the door early so we make smoothies the night before for a quick grab and go breakfast.

We actually started with lunches and now we do smoothies AND lunches. In the beginning if you told me I had to make 2 lunches and 2 smoothies every night with dinner I would be overwhelmed and crumble. Now we have a flow and it makes sense. We cook lunch and dinner together. Sometimes dinner is also the next day’s lunch = yay for leftovers.

While dinner is cooking we make salads and smoothies. When we clean up the dinner mess, we pack up the lunch food. Done and done.

Heather’s question is next:

[7:39] #4 How to find balance between not pushing myself too hard (which I always do aka ignore my body) and balance staying motivated and fairly consistent with something like workouts?

Right now I’m loving small goals, and it’s really working for me so maybe that’s me answering myself lol but I’m sure there’s others like me where it’s all or nothing instead of listening to your body and adjusting your expectations that day.

Struggling with the extremes of GO ALL OUT, VS DO NOTHING.

Did you hear the answer to the question too?? She had some great creative solutions which were:

Small goals. How do you climb a mountain friends? ONE STEP AT A TIME.
Listening to your body. You know your body better than anyone else. You will know if your body needs a break or if your body is avoiding change or it’s scared.
Adjusting your expectations. BINGO. We aim for big goals, and that is amazing. I promise you that is so great. It’s even better if we actually get there, and I’ll tell you right now success doesn’t happen overnight. Which is why we are talking about the SMALL, SEEMINGLY INSIGNIFICANT BEHAVIOURS WE DO EVERY SINGLE DAY THAT LEAD US TO OUR GOALS.

With this struggle, I believe it’s important to remember that just like the entire planet Earth, our bodies and our lives also have seasons and cycles. There are going to be days and weeks we want to go hard, and there are going to be days and weeks where we want to go home.

Yes, listening to your body is a big part of this, but so is setting realistic goals. Realistic for YOU and your lifestyle and your schedule.

[9:43] Question #5 is from CANDICE: Do you have a couple different morning rituals? Like say you have endless time, then you do your mega am ritual, if you’re running late, than you have like one or two ritual items that are non negotiable? If so, what are your non negotiable rituals?

I do! Coffee is pretty much the main non negotiable, as well as essential oils. However it is a very specific coffee ritual that I do every morning that makes it so important to me.

Val’s morning coffee ritual:

Mug + enhanced collagen powder + oat milk + nespresso + “ritual” spoon
Add powder to mug, pour milk to frother, add pod to coffee machine. Press two buttons to start.

As the coffee is pouring, stir the powder into the coffee counter clockwise removing staleness, stagnation and bad vibes from my aura and energy.

Once the coffee is poured, add in the frothy oat milk, stir clockwise 3 times, stirring in the intention for the day and seal with a pentagram.

As I drink the coffee, drink in the intentions for the day.

In regards to the oils, I gravitate to different blends depending on what my body intuitively needs. Once I choose my oil or oil blend I can then use it accordingly. For example if I want to feel more steady or centred, I will grab balance blend and place a drop on the soles of my feet.

If I need an energetic pick-me-up I reach for my peppermint roller and apply it to my temples and the back of my neck.

If I want deeper, fuller breaths, I use breathe/easy air on my chest and forearms.

There are some other pieces of my ritual that come and go, depending on the season ;)

[12:15] Candice also asked, or I guess said because it isn’t structured in a question (#6): Not making play worthy, or not allowing time for fun and feeling guilty when I’m not getting work done. I tell myself that the thing that is fun and brings me joy isn’t important enough/productive enough.

I have most definitely experienced this feeling before. And here is what I told Candice, and what I tell myself when I get caught up in this limiting mindset: YOU GET TO CHOOSE WHAT’S IMPORTANT TO YOU.

For me, I believe that life must be lived as play. Life can be fun and exciting IF we prioritize these things. Honestly, my day goes by quicker, the tasks get done with more love when I invite play. I am more creative, more open, more helpful when I incorporate play into my life.

Let’s go back to the intentions we talked about. What is the goal? How do we want to feel? What sort of activities and experiences and things bring us to our feelings words? Think of the past when you’ve felt this way before, what were you doing? Who were you with? Now think about how you can experience those same feelings again.

I can almost guarantee that being productive isn’t the feeling word we immediately thought of - and disclaimer if it was for you that’s okay too. There are days where my intention is to be productive; but this isn’t the feeling that I aim for.

It’s okay to take some pressure off of ourselves, and actually enjoy!

[14:58] Question #7 is from Tammy, she says: I would love to create and stick with a more productive morning ritual, both personally and professionally! Adding into the current morning ritual (walk + lemon water… now we want to add stretching + meditation as well)

Habit stacking is one of my favourite things to teach because it’s one of the most effective ways to create and stick with healthy habits. Habit stacking is the concept of adding in one behaviour, letting it become a habit and then stack or add another habit to that first behaviour, and so on and so forth.

This method is PERFECT for things like morning routines, or evening rituals or healthy eating. It’s really perfect for any habit building haha

One of the best ways to start is to take a look at the habits you already have and decide which one(s) you want to add onto. We can use Tammy as the example because she has her morning ritual which is her walk and lemon water and now she and her husband want to add stretching and meditation. My suggestion to Tammy was to choose ONE of those to add in next. They both take time and we can’t always add into two things in the beginning especially if they were both very time consuming.

So Tammy has several options and one of them is to get up earlier to mediate, or cut the walk shorter to stretch. What else could Tammy do? She could start with really short and sweet meditations: 1 minute to start. Everyone has one or even three minutes that they can take out of their morning to meditate.

They key here is to start simple and stack. Another great tip for habit stacking is to add to what you’re already doing. This is what I did with my coffee ritual. I wanted to be more intentional, that was an important goal. Meditation wasn’t working for me in the mornings, but I knew I wanted to start my day with intention, which is how and why I created that morning coffee time. I was already preparing the beverage, now I was upgrading the habit to help me with my goals.

[17:46] (#8) Our eighth question was inspired by Steph. We got into talking about motivation and how it changes. We also got into the topic of self love and self kindness.

Remember that starting something new can be scary, and tough, and overwhelming, and a challenge. Especially in the beginning when we’re figuring it all out. This is part of the journey. This is part of the whole process. This is part of the MAGIC!

What are some things that motivate YOU? Is it a sticker on a calendar every day? Is it an inspirational quote as your phone wallpaper? Is it having an accountability buddy? Is it sharing your goal socially so that other people can cheer you on and watch you grow/glow??

Incorporate those things into your habit journey. Make them a part of your success and your tracking and accountability.

Also, be kind to yourself: ALWAYS! You are making positive changes, big moves forward, and you have already taken a step closer to your goals just by listening to this episode. By taking the time to learn more about how you can succeed! Pat yourself on the back!!!

[19:00] Question #9 is also from Kaylie who shared that she struggles with transitioning from one-activity-to-the-next. How can we master and have these transitions in our everyday life?

You have to decide what works best for you, sometimes that means testing different suggestions out, so here are a few to try:

Time-Blocking: This is a great way to schedule your time and be intentional with your calendar and tasks. I do this every single week. Typically on a Sunday Night, sometimes it’s the night before. When I schedule something into my calendar it almost always gets done.

One of the other suggestions from our workshop was to create a [Cleaning] Ritual between tasks/sessions: For example in between calls or emails you have a specific ritual that helps you transition into the next message. Cleaning was the suggestion because if we are seeing clients or patients we clean after and prep before each client. I know some people who have a ritual walking under a doorway to reset. Sometimes I take an extra minute in my car before coming into the house after being at the studio all day with lots of people.

Pre-planning and organizing your week is similar to time blocking. You can do this in a way that you’re breaking up your to-do list into each day of the week. A lot of the time I will write out all of the things I have to do, and then prioritize them and/or add them to the to-do list for Monday or for Thursday.

It’s important to notice how many tasks you’re actually putting into your calendar. My rule is 3-5 tasks a day.

Yes… I have been doing quite a few things lately, and because I time block and meal prep and do EXTRA pre-planning a lot of this is possible. However it isn’t sustainable and I know this, so I don’t make my to-do list extra long. It’s not a badge of honour that’s for sure.

When you’re trying to figure out what works best for you, look at where the transition is a struggle. Is it while you’re in a creative zone of genius, is it because you are switching tasks often? When you find the leaks in your day, the holes in the calendar, THEN you can begin to mend and master transitions.

Also check out a previous episode of the show called Mastering Transitions: www.valerielavignelife.com/07

[22:43] Our last question is actually by me! (#10) When I’m working with clients in small groups or one-on-one we spend time discovering and overcoming excuses that hold you back from getting your goals done, or doing your habits; and then begin to build out your action plan. The question I always ask is: What needs to get done BEFORE your habit? Are there any foreseeable obstacles that could hold you back from doing the habit/do the feeling?

However I am not sharing the answer to this question on the show. Instead I want YOU to answer this question for yourself and your own goals.

What needs to get done before you start this new habit?

What are the foreseeable obstacles?

How will you overcome them?

Okay so it’s a 3-part question, but I BELIEVE in you!

Share with me, chat with me, let’s connect on instagram! Find me @vallavignelife

Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!