E138 How to Eliminate Bad Habits (What's Worked for Me)
E138 How to Eliminate Bad Habits
Every single person on this planet has bad habits. Even I have bad habits, and I’m a Healthy Habit Mentor for goodness sake. My intention for this episode is to offer you some solutions and practices that you can use to support you in your journey to becoming the best version of yourself.
I am only sharing what has worked for me or for my clients, and I’ll even use examples of the methods in action. As you’re listening to the content today I invite you to hear and feel, which of the solutions might be best for you.
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If you’re working through a bad habit currently, I would suggest trying out one or two of the methods I’m going to share and then go through them all to find the best fit.
At one point or another all of these styles have worked, and usually for different habits, as you will soon hear. So don’t be discouraged if you try one and it doesn’t fit quite right, you won’t know until you try.
After listening to this episode, and truly making the effort for each of the practices I can confidently say that one of them is bound to work. Now, there might be a deeper root of concern if one or more of these practices don’t work. In this case, I would love to invite you into my Make a Habit Mentorship Program, as I mentioned at the beginning of this episode. If you feel called to join, or learn more, you can visit www.valerielavignelife.com/mentorship or contact me to see if we’re the best fit www.valerielavignelife.com/contact
[3:33] Education + Intention
Lasting change and transformation typically come from a very deep intention. In other podcast episodes I mentioned the importance of intention and how this can also be called our “why power.” WHY do we want to eliminate this bad habit? WHY do we want to make the change? Knowing the answer to this question will be the foundational motivation you need to make the change, and have it be a lasting change.
A simple practice I’ve used for myself, and in my coaching is to ask why, and then keep asking. Going through this helps uncover layers of meaning and eventually brings you to those deeper roots. Sometimes the answers can be very intense, so be honest, and be gentle with yourself. And other times, usually when we aren’t being honest enough with ourselves, we come up against some blocks/walls/speed bumps/etc. The important part here is to breathe, trust, and keep moving toward that meaning.
This method also involves doing a little more research, and educating ourselves on
My example: 2-Month sugar detox
Several years ago I started to learn more and more about the dangers of consuming too much sugar.
I thought I was really healthy, and eating foods that were labeled healthy… however they had many hidden sugary ingredients and to my surprise I was eating more sugar than I ever thought! Form low-fat yogurt to fruit smoothies, store-bought granola bars, and more I was eating tons of sugar.
So I bought a book by Sara Wilson called I Quit Sugar and the first maybe chapter or two of the book went into more detail of the negative effects of sugar, how it is hidden behind different names, the science of glucose, fructose, lactose, and dextrose and so on and so forth. The book also shared an 8-week plan on how to detox from sugar and recipes to incorporate during the 8-weeks.
I used this research and data as motivation for me to eliminate fructose from my diet for those full 8-weeks. I didn’t eat refined sugar, fruit, and certain vegetables. I will say it was one of the most difficult, and one of the most rewarding things I have ever done for myself.
Since that detox many moons ago, I have continued to remove certain sauces, foods, and snacks from my diet. I now eat fruits, vegetables, and definitely still eat chocolate again, but my sugar consumption has most definitely changed and I’m very happy for that. Education and intention were a huge part of me taking action because let me tell you this was TOUGH!
Not only can we do some education on why this bad habit is so bad, but also what the future of our lives looks like, should we continue this bad habit.
One of my favourite examples that explains this is from the book The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy.
He uses the example of three friends with three different evening routines. The first friend A comes home from work and decides he’s going to spend 30 minutes working out, 30 minutes reading a personal development book, and 30 minutes learning how to take better videos and pictures because he wants to use his camera when he spends time with his family and kids.
Friend B decides his evening routine stays the same as it always has.
Friend C chooses to come home, relax in front of the TV and drink a beer or two before dinner and bed.
In the book there is a graphic of a chart showing the projection of these three friends over a period of time. I don’t have the book in my hands right now so I’m saying this from memory, but after 6-12 months there isn’t THAT much change in the three friends. In fact, the lines on this line chart are all the same at the middle of the chart.
But as time goes on, the lines start to change. With more time, the line representing Friend A starts to move in an upward motion. The line for friend B remains the same and steady along the middle of the chart. Friend C’s line also changes, but in a downward motion.
In the book, and I’m paraphrasing, Hardy shares that Friend A has lost weight and gained strength over the last 1-5 years and he is in better shape than he’s ever been with more energy than ever. He also got a promotion at work because he’s been implementing his personal development strategies from the books he’s been reading every night. AND he’s really great at using his camera and editing software and has even made some great home videos for the family. He’s become closer to his kids through this time.
Friend B’s life hasn’t changed much. He’s feeling pretty stagnant actually, at the same job, always doing the same thing.
Friend C, as you can probably guess has gained some weight, is less energized, and not enthusiastic about his work or his home life. The list of problems went on in the book, and to be honest I remember more how I felt reading the story and it also motivated me to take action in my life.
As you’re thinking about your current routines, and bad habits, where can you see the negative impacts of these habits, and how could they be affecting your health and life for the long term? Motivated yet?
[10:41] Here’s the next method I want to share: Add Rather Than Subtract
When it comes to eliminating a bad habit, it’s actually a lot easier to add in a good habit and replace it with the bad habit, versus just not doing the bad habit any more.
My example: Less screen time, meant more time outside (walking, basketball, hiking)
Personally I have been appalled with the amount of time I spend looking at a screen every day that I’ve started to brainstorm and incorporate different activities instead of sitting at my computer, scrolling on my phone, or watching TV.
This morning for example I left my phone at home and went for a short walk around the block. Yesterday Craig and I went to the school near our house and shot some hoops together instead of watching TV, and I brought my book to bed to read a few pages instead of mindlessly scrolling on my phone.
Think of some different things you could be doing instead of the bad habit. Leaving my phone at home, or in another room was also really helpful because I would have had to get up and go grab my phone if I wanted to look at it. Or because it wasn’t on me I couldn’t check it. It wasn’t even an option.
[12:07] Another great way to replace a bad habit is to simplify the transition into the new habit. With my example of lack of movement I wanted to get back into the workouts I hadn’t been doing for OVER A YEAR! What worked…?
Simplify It… Again
I used to have an epic morning routine before the pandemic. I exercised, drank a litre of water, showered, and journalled before 8am most days. Then the pandemic. Gyms closed, my main source of income GONE, I was scared. The daily practice that kept me mentally well and physically strong was gone, and I started sleeping in and skipping my alternate workouts. The excuses got easier to make, and time went by more and more.
Fourteen months later… well you know how the chart works!
My example: Getting back into my workouts
I knew I wanted to get back into my workouts and I also knew that it wasn’t going to look the exact same as it did before. I wasn’t going to wake up at 5:30am when I was currently waking up at 7am.
So I kept things really simple.
Day one: write out the workouts for the week, schedule them into my calendar
Day two: prep my clothes, new trainers, and music
Day three: do the workout.
Day four: do the next workout.
Etc.
And it worked! I’m on week 5 of my consistent workouts average 3-4x per week! I’m tracking my workouts and I know I’m getting stronger every week, and that feels really good.
I literally had to make the steps soooo simple, as simple as lay out your clothes the day before. But that’s what it took.
Your turn, how can you simplify your new, better habit? How can you simplify it again?
[15:05] Tell EVERYONE! Better yet, document the whole thing on social media
I wanted to get my body moving more so I worked my way up from 4000 steps a day to 10000 a day by sharing the process with my social media network through instagram stories.
Organically it created some healthy competition, and there were a lot of people joining in the conversation and with the habit.
People were sharing photos of their walks, screen-shots of their daily step count and it was so much fun! It also helped me stay accountable.
[16:45] Remove Distractions + Set Up Reminders/Triggers
I have a love-hate relationship with flossing, and honestly I love the way my mouth feels when I floss consistently - LOL yes I heard it too HAHAHA
I don’t bring my phone with me when I brush my teeth and I use brushing my teeth as the trigger to flossing. I brush first and then I floss. It helps me stack my habits. The other OBVIOUS trigger is to keep my floss right beside my toothbrush.
Think about the distractions and the bad habits that you’re doing, think about what you’re also avoiding by doing this habit?
Set yourself up for success by removing the limitations and set up your reminders + triggers so you can stack your habits.
[19:56] Reward Yourself
At this point, I’d like to bring awareness as to why our bad habits feel so good. It’s because they reward us with comfort. Comfort is a common purpose behind our habits and since our brains are wired for rewards, we start to crave more each time we feel comfort.
In the decision making process, our brains cannot differentiate good from bad. It DOES understand comfortable and uncomfortable.
That second chocolate chip cookie, that like on instagram, and that time you decided to binge watch Sex/Life, all triggered a release of Dopamine, the feel good hormone.
It’s not wonder we keep doing the damn thing.
The bad habit is usually easier to do, than to replace with a more helpful or healthy habit since we (unconsciously link it to discomfort.
What are some of the feel good bad habits you want to break?
Then think about what discomfort you COULD DO and if it’s THAT much more worth it to sit on your booty vs work your booty?
With the right boundaries you can also use your bad habit as a reward. For example, if I read 1 page of my book I can scroll on my phone.
The boundaries are: the phone has to be in a separate room and the scroll has to be limited to 15 minutes.
[23:47] Get Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable
This might be the most important one. I learned this a long time ago when it came to my business and personal development growth, but I hadn’t thought about it as a habit building/transforming until recently.
Through the discomfort we grow.
The magic happens OUTSIDE of our comfort zone, so GET OUT of your comfort zone by doing the uncomfortable good habit.
If you are ready to scale your growth, your transformation, to reach the best version of yourself, I invite you to connect with me.
Email me at www.valerielavignelife.com/contact to chat more about whether or not the Make a Habit Mentorship is right for us.
Let’s continue today’s conversation on instagram @vallavignelife
Podcast Host
Valerie LaVigne
Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!
