E140: 10 Ways to Show Up for Yourself

Today I’m sharing 10 ways to show up for yourself. Before we dive into the main points, I wanted to share why I felt this was so important…

For those of you who may not already know this, I am a Healthy Habit Mentor. I completed my Health Coaching certification I think four years ago now and while discovering my own strengths, passions, and purpose I uncovered my gifts in helping others develop impactful habits, routines, and rituals. The little actions that seem insignificant, but lead to MASSIVE growth and transformation are what I’m all about.

And as much as I support my one-on-one mentorship clients with their day to day habits, the real growth and change need to come from you. I can definitely help you create, start, and focus on the right action steps. I can absolutely hold you accountable for the work, and I will show up for you and your goals.

But I can not do the daily habit for you. I can not take action for you. YOU my darling, need to show up for yourself too.

Now I’m thrilled to tell you that just by reading the show notes to this episode you’ve made the first move and completed an action that supports positive change for your life. If you’re ready to learn AND take action on the deeper work, then please, continue reading.

Let’s begin…

[3:34] Number One: Commit to Habits, Practices, Routines, and Rituals that support your health and well-being, even when you don’t feel like it.

Our daily habits and practices are either helping us or hurting us but they are always working. Meaning we have good and bad habits and depending on which ones we are doing and nurturing, well the outcome will correlate to the type of habit.

Showing up for ourselves means committing to the supportive habits, even when we’re not feeling like it. I can’t tell you how many times I thought “but I don’t want to floss tonight” and then I flossed anyway. Or “I don’t feel like working out” and then I did it anyway. Each time feeling SO MUCH BETTER for sticking to the healthy habit.

It’s true, we’re not always going to want to do the uncomfortable, healthy thing every time. But that’s what honouring yourself is. It’s doing the tough work, it’s staying consistent with the healthy habit, it’s understanding that lasting change takes time and not everyone succeeds, because not everyone is willing to do the work.

[4:51] Number Two: Learn to Forgive Yourself. Each and every one of us has made mistakes, we all have a past, we aren’t perfect.

We know that showing up means doing the work, and we also know that missing a day doesn’t mean we fail. Consistency doesn’t mean every day, it means never giving up.

Which is why learning to forgive ourselves is so crucial. The next time we forget something, or we don’t know the answer, or we get “off track,” take a moment to pause, breathe, and redirect the energy to a more supportive action. Like letting go, self-compassionate thoughts, or getting back on track again.

I have a previous podcast episode on forgiveness rituals if you would like to go deeper into this work for yourself.

E119: Forgiveness Rituals

[5:58] Number Three: Allow Yourself to Feel ALL the Feels, Judgement-Free!. We are human beings, and along with our strengths, passions, mistakes, and shortcomings we also experience emotions.

Honour those feelings. Lean into them so that you can truly feel them and then allow them to pass. It’s okay to feel hurt, angry, sad, happy, proud, excited, etc.

What isn’t okay is to let ourselves get caught up in the feelings and wallow or languish. There is and will always be another side to the feelings we have, including the good ones.

Release the need to judge ourselves for feeling upset. It’s better to feel it and then release it, so we can move forward.

[6:55] Number Four: Another way we can show up for ourselves is by Listening to What We Need. Part of connecting to our emotions and feelings is also learning to understand them, and learning to understand ourselves.

Each of us has different needs, and there will be different ways to meet our different needs. Enjoy the process of getting to know yourself more.

How are you feeling right now?

What do you want to be doing/pursuing/thinking/speaking?

Not asking, what would the other person in my space want to eat or watch or visit, what do I want to eat/watch/go?

What does self care mean to you?

How do you define boundaries?

Where/when do you experience pleasure?

Keep the questions going, journal them if you feel called to. I sometimes call this dating yourself, because really you’re discovering who you are, and all the things that make you special, and beginning to fall in love with yourself.

[8:06] Number Five: Allow Yourself to Start Over. It doesn’t matter where in life, your career, your projects, your relationships, or wherever else you are, you CAN start again. This is part of making mistakes, learning curves, learning about yourself, and growing.

Start over if you need to. Start over again. As many times as you need.

This is your journey and not anyone else's. You do you boo.

[8:40] Number Six: Remind Yourself that You Are Worthy. I saw this video on Instagram of a little girl who hurts herself and her mom says, “Repeat after me: I am strong, I am brave, I am worthy.” And you know what… When I’m feeling down, I take a deep breath and say the same things to myself.

When you start believing and reminding yourself that you are worthy you are not only showing up for yourself, but you are showing up for the other women and people around you.

Standing in your light and power gives others to do the same, AND it also teaches others how to treat you. This is huge. Also listen up, especially my wooey peeps… knowing your worth attracts abundance and all the things you are manifesting, because just like how it teaches others how to treat you, it tells the Universe how you are worthy of your desires and dreams.

Let that sink in for a moment.

[9:50] Number Seven: Prioritize Your Health. This is part of knowing your worth. Taking care of yourself and prioritizing your health screams I AM WORTHY!

Stay hydrated, nourish your body with whole foods, get enough sleep, and move your body daily. Do the things that help you glow from the inside out.

One of my favourite sayings is: A healthy woman has a thousand wishes, a sick woman has one.”

We’ve all felt ill at one point in time and I know that when I’m sick, the ONLY THING I want is to feel better. Preventative health, our supportive habits, and taking care of ourselves is the foundation to living a fuller life; to showing up for ourselves and our goals.

I am often reminding my clients that healthy can be simple, and fitness can be fun. Let this become part of your lifestyle.

Since I started prioritizing my daily hydration I have noticed a huge change in my overall energy, mood, cravings, sleep, digestion, and skin! I drink at least half my body weight in ounces of water every day and I am very consistent with it. I also use tools and tracking apps to help me with these types of habits and they’ve kept me on track for over 60 consecutive days.

I use a bluetooth water bottle that tracks your water and connects to an app on your phone to measure your progress. It also has a glow light at the bottom that lights up to remind you to drink. You can also turn on notifications on your phone to remind you when to drink.

[11:51] Number Eight: Give Yourself Permission to Rest. Oh boy, here’s one I am constantly reminding myself of. Rest is NOT a reward. Rest is part of life, part of taking action, part of growth and development.

Resting allows us to recharge and re-energize for the work to come. We NEED rest. Our bodies and our minds need rest. Just like how meeting our needs will look different, so will how we take our rest and what that looks like.

Sometimes rest for me is 20 minutes of uninterrupted “me time.” It also looks like getting 8 hours of sleep every night. Often it means scheduling rest into my calendar, especially during the busy weeks.

For others it might mean a midday nap, or only putting 3-5 things on the to-do list every day. It might mean asking for help, or starting the day with a self-care routine.

Rest is crucial and part of prioritizing our health.

[13:13] Number Nine: Another way to show up for yourself is to Spend Quality Time with You! This is a great way to get to know who you are, and what you love. Reading, writing, crafting and creating. Maybe it’s spending time in nature or stretching on your yoga mat.

Are you a knitter? Painter? Do you enjoy cooking new meals? Reading in coffee shops? Taking long luxurious bubble baths?

Quality time with yourself is time well spent! Schedule this into your calendar if you need to.

[13:45] Number Ten: Invite Curiosity and Compassion into Everything You Do. Personal development can be really fun and exciting and it can also get a little awkward or uncomfortable at times. That’s because the magic happens outside of our comfort zones and that means taking uncomfortable action, trying new things, meeting new people, discovering ALL the parts of ourselves.

I sometimes think of personal development like a really wild thunderstorm. It can be loud, and startling. We’re thinking, “when is the downpour going to end!?” and eventually the clouds part and a rainbow appears. It’s beautiful and mesmerizing and suddenly the rainstorm didn’t seem so bad.

Ask yourself tough questions, take leaps and be compassionate in all the things you're trying and doing. If you’re showing up for yourself every day, you’re doing a great job. Like I said, you’re already on the right track by reading this episode and podcast.

Join me on Instagram this week @vallavignelife to continue the conversation about how we show up for ourselves. Tag me in your stories or posts about personal development and all the things - I absolutely love connecting with you there.

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!