E148: How to Ebb + Flow with Our Habits

The only constant is change, here’s how we can flow with the changing of our intentions and habits…

Welcome back to the Women’s Empowerment Podcast. I received your kind messages from last week’s episode and I am very grateful for them. If you missed it, last week I had a little teary on the show, and it was the first proper cry on a recording haha. It was about how life and our habits can be messy. Which for me last week was a real struggle.

However, I spent the weekend at a wellness retreat with some incredible women, and I am feeling refreshed and ready for the week ahead and the exciting content that is coming up.

Which brings me to this week’s episode! We’re focusing on the ebbing, flowing, shifting, and changing of our habits. This topic was inspired by a question I received in one of my healthy habit workshops. Kaylie asked, “How can we recognize when a healthy habit is no longer serving us? When can we know it’s time to move on vs just not feeling motivated?”

How great is that question!? Immediately I thought of the age-old saying, the only constant is change, and I also thought of how my own habits have changed overtime.

As you’re reading the show notes I encourage you to do the same. Think of the last six to twelve months. How have your habits, routines, rituals changed through the year? Or perhaps through the last couple years?

Using myself as the example I shifted from gym workouts to home workouts over the last couple years. Although this wasn’t something I was planning on doing, the workout routine evolved over the last couple years and I am now in a weekly routine/groove that I feel very happy about.

One of the reasons that the transition wasn’t so smooth was because the change was unexpected and I was forcing myself to do something that I didn’t want to do. Which brings me to our first point of how do we know it’s time to move on?... if you feel like you’re forcing the habit.

FLOW OVER FORCE

Choose flow over force. When we’re first creating our habit or new routine, there is some structure, force, intention, and discipline involved. But the whole point of building a new habit is so that eventually we DON’T have to force it to happen, and instead it happens habitually; it flows.

For myself I was forcing a workout to happen very early in the morning. I was forcing my body to wake up much earlier than it wanted to, and in the end wasn’t getting the results and the feeling that I wanted from working out.

Think about a current habit that you are struggling with. Does it feel forced? If yes, is this because you are in the beginning stages of your habit, or some other reason?

With my example, it was another reason. Not only did my gym close, but my daily routine changed dramatically. I didn’t have to workout at 6am, in fact my body was screaming NO MORE EARLY WORKOUTS! When I went into more of a flow, I started to workout around 7am, 9am, and sometimes 10am. I recognized the importance of a morning exercise routine, but I didn’t force it to happen before 7am. Instead, I scheduled the workout in my calendar for 9am and promised myself it would start before 10am. This flexibility and fluidity has actually made me MORE consistent with my weekly workouts and I am in our home gym 3-4 times every week.

As you consider why your habits feel forced, ask yourself questions like:

Is there something that needs to happen before this habit?
Is there an alternate time in my schedule where this habit would be more successful?
Why specifically does this habit feel forced?

REASSESS THE INTENTION

Another reason why our habits change is because our intentions change. There is ALWAYS a reason for starting a new habit. Whether that be a long term goal we are striving for, or a feeling we want to achieve. As discussed in many of the previous episodes of the podcast, starting with intention is very important.

The intention is the why power. It’s the motivation and the fuel for doing what we do; including with our new healthy habits.

Change is inevitable, and it’s possible that the habits we’ve built will no longer serve us, because circumstances change. Relationships change, we change, our goals change!

The question to ask ourselves is: Are my habits bringing me closer to my current goals or are they halting my growth? This is why we always start with our intention, and we build out our habits around that intention.

Let’s go back to my morning workout example. During the struggle of figuring out a new routine I was finding it difficult to workout in the garage, so I opted for daily walks and a goal of 10 000 or more steps daily. The intention was to incorporate more movement into my daily routine since I wasn’t weight training at the time.

I had lots of success with this habit, but over a few months I started to recognize a shift in my goal and intention. I no longer wanted to just create movement. I wanted to be more specific and aim for strength in my daily movement practice. This meant less steps, and more weights again.

Consider the habit you are struggling with. Ask yourself the following questions:

What are my current intentions and goals?
Is my habit bringing me closer to my current goal, or halting my growth?
Is there a better habit that can bring me closer to my current intention?

When we’re in the position of feeling unmotivated or stuck with our current habit(s), it’s important to recognize that our habits change just like we do. Let go of any guilt or shame around wanting to ditch or switch the current habit(s).

Then, get curious. Ask the questions I mentioned above, that help us better understand where and what needs to change.

Some additional questions to support you with your intentions are:

What areas of my life do I need to focus on?
What big things are coming up this month/quarter/year?
What mindset and energy do I want to channel to undertake those things?

As we go through the transition process, keep track of what is working, and what’s not working. Allow this time to be fluid, and experiment with different habits or solutions that support growth.

Ooh! Reevaluating habits could be another limb of our Monthly Accountability Meeting! Or something to incorporate quarterly, or annually. This will be something that you can decide for yourself based on the timeline of your goals.

Episode 132: Behind the Scenes: My Monthly Accountability Meeting

I hope this episode helps you integrate more intentional and motivating habits. Take some time to ask and answer the questions we went through to properly understand the introspection. If you feel inspired to take your habits to the next level and invest in one-on-one support, you can contact me through my website, or sign up for the Make a Habit Mentorship Program.

Next week we’re doing a mini training on the podcast: Eliminating Overwhelm and Creating Work-Life Balance. Until then let’s connect on instagram, find me @vallavignelife

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!