E161: Two Part Process for Letting Go of Old Patterns [PART ONE]

Make space for more joy, more compassion, more opportunities, more things that excite you by letting go of old patterns and limiting beliefs…

[00:28] Hello friend, thank you for joining me for the very last episode of 2021. There is something so magical about this end of year energy. Don’t you think? This ending of a cycle or closing of a chapter of our lives.

Truth be told, I get a little emotional thinking about this past year. I’m not sure if I’ve ever felt so up and down, or so lost for so long ever before. I also revisit incredible memories and events of the year. So much to celebrate and be thankful for.

Although I have many rituals I like to practice at the end of the year, a few of them I’ve shared on this podcast, one of the common themes of these rituals and for the end of the year is letting go.

I was chatting in the DMs on instagram with a friend of mine, Alisha, and she has given me permission to share our conversation here because I thought it would be very helpful for others to hear as well.

Alisha wrote to me:

I hate that “let go” phrase. How do you let go? I can’t take something that bothers me and then just let it go and not let it still affect me.

And then I replied: That is a great question, and I also understand that you don’t like the phrase “let go” because it’s not that simple. Basically what I thought of - as corny as it sounds - is thank it for how it served you and how it brought you to this place and decide that this is no longer for you. Break up with it. Release it and say that it’s not empowering you anymore. And because of this it needs to go. It needs to not take hold of you anymore. And that’s a decision to empower yourself and when you make that decision everything else just falls away. It just lets go on it’s own. And you have to decide that you longer want to hold onto it. And it’s like a physical release in your body.

This also made me think of a metaphor: When the time is right you will be able to “let go”

It’s like how a flower starts to open up from a bud. It’s so tight and coiled in on itself and as it grows it “lets go” and unfolds and opens into a beautiful flower/leaf and it is whole and its full self. This is something I’ve learned a lot from my plants this year.

They did not bloom in my timing, they bloomed in their own timing. And yes, I did say that the end of year has this beautiful energy of releasing and renewing, however this might not be YOUR letting go time. And I believe that timing is so important.

If you’re listening to this episode and you feel that it is really resonating with you then I encourage you to experiment with the practices I’m going to share.

If the timing doesn’t feel as aligned, you can still experiment as you please, but know that these practices might be more effective in different timing, and this is okay!

There is also a part of me that really believes that if you are listening to this episode, there is some sort of diving timing working with us; bringing us together in this moment. Perhaps you can feel into that more?

[05:14] Let’s start off by defining what letting go means for us. To me it means deciding that I will no longer give it my energy. This could be mental, emotional, or physical energy. It’s about choosing to spend my mental/emotional/physical capacity toward the things that bring me joy. Spending my time and energy on people, projects, habits, and thoughts that empower me instead.

What does letting go mean to you? Have a think on it, and write it down in your journal or open up a new note on your phone.

When you understand what it means to you, you will have a better idea of how you can release the things that are no longer serving you. Your next step is to decide what you are letting go of, or leaving behind in 2021.

For this step I encourage you to write a list including feelings, limiting beliefs, bad habits/behaviours, and more. It may also help to think about what you want to bring in for the new year (more on this in our next episode) and the things that hold you back from these new more meaningful things.

Take your time writing these out, and come back and add to the list as you need. You can also pause the episode if you’re doing the practice right this moment.

[06:56] Here are some of the things I’m personally letting go of and leaving behind in 2021:

Sticking with commitments because I think I should, even though it can feel tough for me to move on, especially with unfinished projects

Saying yes to things that are not a “hell yes!” for me
Hiding or limiting my multi-passionate and purposeful self; I sometimes think I have to be one thing or one way or an expert at a certain topic. I think one of the many reasons I love being a Healthy Habit Mentor is because this is really infinite and supportive in ways beyond what we might initially think of
Ignoring my gut instincts
Expecting others to do as much as I do, or move as quickly as I do. Going back to what I said about timing, I need to respect others for their own energy and timing

Now there are a few little rituals you can do next to let go so to speak. These are mostly physical practices, however the true release in my opinion comes from the firm decision to recognize that something is no longer for you and then emotionally releasing it as well. These little rituals are a physical representation of this, and then the continued work would be to practice the new behaviours and stop doing the old patterns.

[13:09] I wanted to make this a two-part episode because when we let go of one thing, we are really making room for something new. In part two we’ll discuss Creating New Lifestyle Patterns for 2022. For now, let’s create that space.

Little Ritual for Letting Go Number One:

Burn your list. Yep I said burn it. With actual fire - as note I would like to remind you that fire is not something to play with, and to be safe when burning anything. Write out your list of words, behaviours, habits, etc. on a piece of paper, crumple it up and throw it in a fireplace or fire pit. Watch it burn away. See how the flames burn the paper and the smoke rises up releasing the old patterns into the atmosphere. They are no longer yours.

Little Ritual for Letting Go Number Two:

Bury your list. Yes, rip up your paper into tiny pieces, dig a hole in the ground and bury the ripped up paper. Ripping up the list allows you to physically tear and separate the unhelpful behaviours from us, while burying the list gives our troubles to Mother Earth who can decompose and use our old patterns as recycled new energy.

Little Ritual for Letting Go Number Three:

Recycle your list of old patterns. That feels like a super millennial thing to say haha! If you don’t want to burn or bury your list. Write it out on paper - or even better in your phone notes and delete the list permanently or recycle the list in the bin. Before you delete it, go through each item and say in your head or out loud: “thank you for bringing me to this place in my life, I no longer need you.” To each of the items on the list. Then trash it.

Depending on what’s on your list, this can take a little more time. These little rituals are meant to be the beginning of letting go of these things. The ongoing practice begins with the small actions you take each day moving forward. We release the old patterns to make space for the new things we want to bring in, so once you’ve done one of these rituals with your list of things you’d like to release, tune into next week’s episode for the things you can replace your old patterns with.

Until then, send me a DM on instagram @vallavignelife and share some of the habits, patterns, behaviours, or limiting beliefs you’ll be releasing this year.

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!