E190: Emotional Habits & How to Incorporate Them, Part Two of The Science & The Spiritual Series

In today's episode learn about balancing the four brainwaves for building better emotional habits such as: practicing mindfulness, cultivating positive self-talk, and creating time management skills.

Plus spiritual tools and practices like: crystals, essential oils, meditations and journal prompts to support these habits!

[00:28] Hello there and welcome back to the Women’s Empowerment Podcast, I am your host and Healthy Habit Mentor, Valerie LaVigne. There is an interesting evolution to how today’s topic has come into manifestation!

It started as a listener request/suggestion from Ceri. She asked “about different types of habits and how to incorporate them; physical, mental, emotional, etc.” As I started to create an episode with all sorts of different habits I realized this would be much more helpful as a series!

So welcome to part two of the science & the spiritual series! Today is all about emotional habits and how to incorporate them using scientific research on habit formation and spiritual tools like crystals, essential oils, and more!

To keep the series flowing, I thought it would be more beneficial to really understand the scientific concepts of our brain and habits if we focused on one scientific method per episode.

In part one we discussed the power of WHY and intention behind your habits with the benefits of physical habits including: regular exercise, eating more vegetables, and getting quality sleep.

Episode 189: Physical Habits & How to Incorporate Them, Part One of The Science & The Spiritual Series

Each episode in the series corresponds to one of the seven dimensions of wellness, and this episode covers Emotional wellness. I loved a description of this dimension I found online so I’m going to read it to you and source it in the show notes page:

[02:10] Emotional Wellness

“Emotional wellness is a dynamic state that fluctuates frequently with your other six dimensions of wellness. Being emotionally well is typically defined as possessing the ability to feel and express human emotions such as happiness, sadness, and anger. It means having the ability to love and be loved and achieving a sense of fulfillment in life. Emotional wellness encompasses optimism, self-esteem, self-acceptance and the ability to share feelings.”

[source]

Looks like we’re going deep today! Let’s work with three habit examples in the emotion wellness categories: practicing mindfulness, cultivating positive self-talk, and creating time management skills.

[03:02] Mindfulness; Tuning into Thoughts & Feelings

Mindfulness is a common topic on the Women’s Empowerment Podcast and I searched the archives to find an episode I think would really compliment today’s episode. If you’re interested in making mindfulness a regular practice, check out episode 131: How to Incorporate Mindfulness Daily.

While mindfulness may have started as a spiritual concept, over the past few decades, more researchers have been studying and explaining the biology of mindfulness. In fact, studies have demonstrated that mindfulness can reduce depression, anxiety, boost the immune system, help pain management, and support you in releasing unhealthy habits. All in as little as 8 weeks of consistent practice.

Mindfulness is described as moment-to-moment awareness of ourselves and our environment and has been adapted from Buddhist practices. While there are many ways to practice mindfulness, a common one, and one that has been research driven is meditation. Before you roll your eyes… Let me just say that there are a million ways to meditate and I can assure you that with some experimentation, you will be able to find a style that works best for you.

My favourite app that has thousands of free meditations is Insight Timer

And if you really want to go deep into understanding the effects of meditation on the brain, you MUST READ Becoming Supernatural by Dr. Joe Dispenza.

[04:58] Meditation & Brainwaves: The Science

When it comes to The Science of Meditation and its Effects on the Brain, Dr. Joe Dispenza is my go-to expert. He completely breaks down the process through real-life case studies behind miraculous healing in the body with the brain scans and knowledge base to back it all up. If you or someone you know needs the scientific evidence or language, then this is my recommended resource for you. [source]

For the purpose of today’s episode I will describe the changes in the brain simply:

In our day-to-day lives, our brains operate analytically and logically on the conscious level. Through meditation we can move from the conscious mind to the unconscious mind, and what separates the conscious and unconscious is the analytical mind.

Our unconscious mind is where all of our habits are stored, all of our automated behaviours. They live here because we’ve repeated them so many times that they become unconscious. This includes good and bad habits.

If we want to change our bad habits we need to find a way to get beyond our critical and analytical mind/thinking and go into that subconscious mind to rewrite those unhealthy automatic behaviours.

The research-driven formula for these types of change has to do with changing the brain waves. More specifically slowing the brain waves from beta to alpha, to theta, and delta.

Brainwaves are electrical impulses in the brain. We can’t feel them, but with advanced technology we can monitor them if we want to and have the technology.

Beta brainwaves bring conscious awareness to our external environment. This is our analytical mind. They help us connect with and make meaning of what’s going on around us.

Alpha brainwaves happen when our bodies and minds start to relax, typically through meditation. The brain gets more organized, focused and coherent; feelings of joy and love, relaxation and imagination can be experienced in this wave. It’s also a helpful state for problem solving and creative visualization.

Theta brainwaves are experienced as our meditation practice deepens. Theta can also be experienced while we dream, and through our ascending in our meditation practice. This is a powerful state and is connected to our creative brain power. In this state it might feel like you’re having a deeply spiritual experience that goes beyond the logical borders of space and time. Learning, memory can be supported when theta is present in the brain.

Lastly, delta brainwaves. These patterns are mostly present in our deep sleep state, however they can also be seen in meditative states in combination with other brainwaves. Although it connects to the quantum field - which can never be consciously understood - this is a subconscious state where our intuition and gut feelings come from.

The goal is to reach a high performing and awakened mind by balancing all four brainwave states. The beta activity brings conscious awareness, alpha brings creativity, theta creates a relaxed connection with the subconscious and delta connects us with the quantum field to allow intuitive inspiration to come through to our conscious awareness.

[source]

[09:18] Mindfulness & Meditation: The Spiritual

As meditation is rooted in a spiritual practice, I would suggest having an intention when sitting down to meditate. Be that to breathe deeper, calm the nervous system, be open to receiving creative downloads, whatever is meaningful to you. You want the intention to challenge you, and inspire you!

Some “spiritual” tools you can use for your meditations are:

Crystal: I found a list of the best crystals for mindfulness, and the first crystal on the list is obsidian and the blog post says:

“If you're stuck in a negative thinking cycle, consider adding Obsidian into your meditation. Obsidian, often known as the "psychic vacuum cleaner," absorbs and clears irritability and tension, making you groundedand aware of your thoughts. It's an excellent stone for eliminating any prior negative or emotional harm. In addition, it has powerful metaphysical properties that can help defend you from unwanted influences.” [source]

Essential Oil: Sandalwood which is the oil of “Sacred Devotion” is a lovely grounding scent that supports prayer, meditation, and other spiritual practices. It has been used since ancient times for its powerful ability to calm the mind, still the heart, and prepare the spirit to commune with “God” the Universe, Spirit, etc. It helps in quieting the mind in order for us to hear a more subtle voice of Spirit or Higher Self and helps us let go of material attachments.

You may already know that the asana yoga practice, (or yoga poses) was actually created with the intention of moving the body to prepare it for meditation. The idea is to get the body moving and twisting and turning, so that afterwards, when you’re sitting in meditation you are not moving around or distracted by your body and thoughts. If you are interested in starting a yoga practice, or if you already have one, consider habit stacking, and add in meditation following your yoga practice.

[11:55] Positive Self Talk

Our second emotional habit example for today’s episode is Positive Self-Talk. Again, this is a topic we’ve discussed on the podcast before, and actually one of our top 10 episodes is all about this! Check out Episode 81: 5 Tips for Positive Self Talk if this is a habit you want to build.

Self-talk is the running dialogue in our heads. It’s basically when we’re talking to ourselves in our mind. Everyone has this inner narrative, but we don’t often spend so much time actually thinking about what the heck it’s going on about. The important truth is that our self-talk has a much bigger influence on the way we see ourselves and the world we live in, than we realize.

[12:49] Positive Self-Talk: The Science

Positive self-talk is a kind and confident way of thinking, and talking to ourselves. To create our positive self-talk habit, let’s use our science combined with three key steps.

1. Put on your “Investigator Hat” and identify self-talk traps

This will be something you want to do every day. Noticing when and where you are falling into the negativity. You are becoming more mindful of your thoughts, actions, and more aware of this inner dialogue.

As you are doing this, you might notice certain situations that are more likely to cause more negativity. Like when an introvert is attending a networking or social event.Noticing the “traps” can help us to swap our negative self-talk to something more positive and encouraging.

This method requires us to be in our beta brainwave state. We are thinking critically and analytically. The key here is to investigate without judgment. Noticing, not judging. We recognize that we’re speaking in our negative self-talk, but we don’t beat ourselves up more than we already are, we just notice. Bringing awareness is so important for breaking through these negative cycles, and it may take some time. Give yourself grace through this step.

2. Use Positive Affirmations

Positive affirmations can be an excellent tool and practice for improving our self-talk. You can practice positive affirmations to set the tone for the day, or to prepare yourself before a self-talk trap.

A great way to practice affirmations is through meditation. And repeating the affirmation over and over in your mind. In this practice, you will want to be in the alpha brainwave state. When your body and mind is starting to relax and get more focused, organized and coherent. The state where you are experiencing more feelings of joy and love which is perfect for positive self-talk! And since it’s also a state where relaxation and imagination can be experienced, you may be able to plant seeds of positivity in your mind that grow and support you ongoing.

3. Keep a Self-Esteem JournalJournaling can be a very powerful and effective tool for making lasting mindset shifts. One of the reasons why it is so effective is because you are activating multiple parts of your brain when you put pen to paper. And depending on what you’re writing about it can help expand and amplify your topic: like positive self-talk for example.

The two types of journal I recommend are a Gratitude Journal and an Emotions Journal.The gratitude journal is a list of what you are grateful for specifically that day, as well as why you are grateful for it. Recalling your daily gratitudes helps you return to the feeling of gratitude and brings more of what you’re grateful for.

An Emotions Journal has specific prompts that help you investigate your mindset and encourage you to think positively about different parts of your day.

To help you start your emotions journal, here are some prompts:I felt proud of myself today when I…The highlight of my day was…One of my best attributes is…I am excited about…My biggest success this week was…

Writing requires us to be in the beta and/or alpha states, however in these journaling practices, I encourage you to actively feel what you are writing about. Feeling gratitude and appreciation, feeling proud, feeling excited, feeling the feelings from the successful parts and highlights of the day. This will release dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins which is a similar feeling to a runner’s high. These are chemicals responsible for feelings of happiness and pleasure.

[17:53] Positive Self-Talk: The Spiritual

Crystal: Citrine, which is known for its sunny energy and orange-yellow-gold-colour. It clears blockages, negative thoughts, or instibillities by replacing those feelings with positive vibrations and optimism.

Essential Oil: Bergamot is the oil of “Self-Acceptance” – one of my favourites! It relieves feelings of despair, self-judgment and low self-esteem, and supports our need for self-acceptance and self love. It invites us to see with more optimism. Bergamot awakens hope and offers courage to share our inner selves while cleansing stagnant feelings and limiting belief systems.

Mindful Practices:

When you catch yourself saying something negative (i.e you’re in a negative self-talk “trap”), try holding space for yourself by taking a mindful breath. Forgive yourself for saying something not so friendly, and swap it with something more friendly. It’s important that the new positive self-talk switch is TRUE for you. For example if you catch yourself looking in the mirror and thinking your hair looks flat and bad, you can take a breath and say sorry (because you would never speak that way to a friend!) and you can swap it with, I’m proud of you for showing up today. Or I love your strength, etc.

[20:32] Time Management Skills

The final example for today’s episode of emotional habits is all about Time Management Skills - which truthfully is kind of ironic because I’m actually producing this episode a little late - OOPS!

But all things considered, I run two businesses, produce a podcast, maintain healthy relationships, and take care of my mind/body/soul, so some things slide here and there. That’s part of positive self-talk, am I right!?

Of course, I’ve got a complimentary podcast episode for Time Management Skills, Episode 182: Taking the Overwhelm Out of Your To Do List

[21:23] Time Management: The Science

I’m not going to go into too much depth with the science because I’ve already talked a lot about today’s scientific theme - the brainwaves, so here’s what you need to know about the brainwaves and time management:

If we are constantly moving from one task to another, if we are consistently unorganized with our time and we’re late or forgetful, or always on the go-go-go… we are stuck in our beta brainwave state.

We are always going to be thinking analytically and critically, which leaves little to no room for creativity, joy, love, unique problem solving, deep healing, and rewiring bad/old habits.

When we can properly manage our time, it allows us to create balance and spaciousness in our schedules and lives. We have room for the things that matter to us, space for surprises and invitations, and we’re capable of “thinking outside of the box” because we are able to slow down and be present.

So if you have been experiencing feelings of overwhelm, lack of creativity, plans or details have been falling through the cracks it’s time to stop and reevaluate the schedule and how much we’re taking on – I’m also talking to myself here.

[22:55] Time Management: The Spiritual

Crystal: Smoky Quartz. If there’s a lot going on in your life right now and your headspace is feeling clouded or thrown off, stop what you’re doing, take a break and give yourself a moment with smoky quartz.

“This crystal will help to reduce anxiety, stress and anything else that hinders you from focusing on the task at hand. You can now move forward in a more grounded state.” [source]

Essential Oil: Lemon, which is the oil of “Focus.” This citrusy aroma engages the mind and increases concentration. It supports the emotional body, but its major effects are experienced in the mental field. It’s a wonderfully crisp scent that helps improve our ability to focus and moves us from confusion to clarity. It’s also very restorative bringing us into mental flexibility and drive to complete a project.

The last spiritual tool or practice I wanted to share with you is one I learned from a previous guest on the Women’s Empowerment Podcast. Her name is Tara McCrory.
Episode 121: How to Ask Powerful Yes or No Questions to Connect to Your Intuition

She uses a pendulum to ask yes or no questions and one of the practical ways you can do this is with your to do list of the day.

Write out your list and number the items 1 through however many tasks you have, and then using your pendulum, go down the list to see if this is the task you start with instead of just going down in the order you wrote things down.

Not to get too off topic, but if you’re into Human Design and you are either a Generator or Manifesting Generator, then you don’t need a pendulum, you naturally have to ability to respond to yes or no questions, and you can go down the list without the pendulum.

Okay friend we’ve come to the end of our second part of the Science & The Spiritual Series. Thank you so much for joining me today! I am off to go on a solo road trip to see my family in the states, next week's episode features a brand new guest to the show! And after that we will continue our series.

If you’re on instagram, hit me up! @vallavignelife screenshot this episode, tag me in stories, slide into those dms say hello! Engage with the content let me know you’re a listener of the show - it makes my day to connect with you!

Meet you here next week!

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!