E194: From Frazzled to Focused in 21 Days

The 21 Day Healthy Habit Challenge Spring Edition was a HUGE SUCCESS! Hear from five challenge members as they share their biggest wins and surprises of their transformation!

[00:29] Valerie: welcome back to the Women’s Empowerment Podcast, today we have five very special guests on the show. I know FIVE! This past spring, I hosted a 21 Day Healthy Habits Challenge and reached out to a few of the members to be on the show are here with us today and I asked them all answer the questions.

If you’re familiar with the show, you may recognize some of the questions, because in an episode very similar to this, which was Episode 173 where we talked about how small actions impact the 21 days. And those were some of the members from the first round of the challenge. This is a challenge that I run a few times a year and I'm excited to let you know that the next one will be coming in September! So if you want to get a waitlist for that, CLICK HERE!

Episode 173: Small Actions that Created Big Impact in Only 21 Days

Join our upcoming Healthy Habit Challenge HERE!

I love this challenge because our simple habits become life changing for the people that have taken the challenge. One of the reasons I have these 21 day challenges is because I really like to support within this 21 hour challenge members are going to share with you today is their own experience in their own words of what the 21 Day Challenge has been able to gift them and help them grow.

If you’re new here, I’m Valerie LaVigne, a Healthy Habit Mentor. I help you create and stick to your habits and routines to make your life easier and effortless and gives you the freedom and time for the things that you love, and the things you enjoy! When we can really automate the right habits – our healthy habits – we can show up better for the people counting on us. This is the freedom for us to make a bigger impact on the world around us.

THE “FEELING WORD”

Now I won’t talk too much today, but I will be popping in between the voice notes that you’ll hear today. And what I do want to say is whether I’m working with you one-on-one, like in my Make a Habit Mentorship program, in a small group such as the Healthy Habit Membership, or in a larger group for a shorter amount of time, in the 21 Day Healthy Habit Challenge, there is a specific focus and starting point we all use. The key starting point is to set an intention or feeling word.

So let’s hear from our guests today. You’re going to meet them to learn about what their intention or feeling word was for the 21 days and what kinds of habits they wanted to cultivate!

[04:00] Kayla-Jane: Hey! My name is Kayla Jane, and my word that I want to focus on for 21 days was focus. To get more focused in my routine. I started practicing no phone before 838 to get back into my writing daily habit, and to spend five minutes every morning, meditating, I also decided to sneak in drinking one glass of water before my coffee.

[04:29] Mia: My name is Mia. You can find me @miaonthemap and my feeling word – or words, were grounded and purposeful.

[04:40] Elise: my name is Elise and my feeling words were healthy, strong, and capable. My habits were drinking 2.5-3 litres of water a day, plus 20 minutes of movement a day.

[04:58] Keira: Hello my name is Keira, and I joined the 21 day Habit Challenge in search of being more consistent with a yoga practice, and finding gratitude in each day, and my feeling word was joyful.

[05:19] Candice: Hey I'm Candace, my goal or my habit that I was changing during fostering 21 Day Challenge was to go to bed before 11 This was super difficult for me and but I knew that it would create a solid foundation for everything else in my life. And so my feeling word to go along with that was centered.

[05:39] Valerie: One of the reasons why the feeling word is so important is because it becomes our motivation it becomes our WHY. So when we don't feel like doing the habit when we can don't feel like getting up in the morning for our routine or we don't feel like going for the walk or movement practice. We come back to the feeling word. Why did we set out for this in the first place? And I think what's really important to remember as well or something to come back to as well is understanding where we are starting what our starting point is. where are we before the challenge, because even though we're all coming together for these 21 days are all starting at really different parts and we all have very different motivations. So I asked the challenge members, where were you before the challenge started, and here is what they shared.

BEFORE THE 21 DAY CHALLENGE

Kayla-Jane: Before the challenge, I felt pretty grounded in my routine but I felt like there was a lack of structure. And by setting these simple, healthy habits for 21 days, I actually didn't notice that I was starting to become much more focused in my routine and understanding the why. And for me one of the biggest things was the no phone before 8:30am This is one of the habits that has, I genuinely think changed my life.

Not looking at my phone has allowed me to embrace what I'm actually feeling and allowing myself to tap into my needs and my feelings and my thoughts that day and not being overwhelmed by everything else that's going on in the world.

Mia: So before this challenge began, I was super frantic and frazzled. and just feeling spread pretty thin. I had been trying to do way too much at once. and not really seeing how to move forward I felt pretty stuck. Even though I was doing a lot and none of it was really purposeful. I was just kinda like, I felt like a little Marionette, that was just being pulled in different directions. So, yeah, that's how I felt before, fell before the challenge.

Elise: before starting the challenge, I had recently just moved into a house with my partner and left my condo that I loved like I absolutely loved it. I just needed some kind of not scheduled but like consistency in my schedule because everything was kind of all over the place. And it was just feeling a little bit overwhelmed with all of the changes.

Keira: When I joined the 21 day practice, it just kind of became spring, with spring came this renewed energy. So life was busy. There was a lot of things going on and I started finding less and less time to stay grounded and find the happiness and joyfulness in each day. Because I got caught up in life, and that's where it was at when I started this practice and that's why I wanted to join the challenge

Candice: Before the challenge started, I was feeling real frazzled. I was spread super thin. I was having a difficult time getting stuff done during the day just because I was so tired and it was really based on my sleep schedule being wonky, so I'd be going to bed late and then I'd be getting up early and so it made it difficult to do quality work during the day.

And to be like truly productive I wasn't giving myself time to rest and to recharge so that I could show up as my best self.

FAVOURITE FROM THE 21 DAY CHALLENGE

[09:35] Valerie: Once you’ve committed to the 21 Day Challenge and join the community, a few different things are to happen. First, you get crystal clear on your intention and your feeling word which we've already talked about. And the next as you start tracking your habits you start to really show up for yourself for those habits and for the other community members. In the past we've used a separate Instagram account to really showcase all the different people who are working on the challenge. This next round I am changing things up a little and I'm not going to ruin too many surprises, but it will still be a social sharing piece. If people are interested in it. It's always optional to share but I do find it gives you that extra boost of accountability.

And it helps people connect with each other within the challenge because they see who else is doing it. You get to make new friends, you can follow new people and you can help each other grow throughout those 21 days and possibly beyond the 21 days. Community and accountability are incredibly important for cultivating and creating new habits. There is so much more power when we do something together even if we're not working on the exact same habit, but we're doing so within the same container – Within this 21 Day container.

What I love are my favorite part of this challenge is seeing how we are all growing together as these trackers and as these posts come through and I always ask the members to tag me so that I can share and cheer you on, and other members can also reach out to you, send you some hearts, send you some love notes, whatever the case may be. So that's one of my favorite things about this 21 Day Challenge. Let's hear what the members favorite things from the challenge.

Kayla-Jane: I also love that this challenge came up. I'm a huge astrology nerd. But I had a transit coming up that was Mars in Pisces and falls into my house of routine and structures and I found that implementing these few things, these few little habits actually helped me find so much flow in my life. And I think for a while I was fighting, having a little tiny bit of structure in the morning because it's like Who wants a to do list before not? Am I right, but to be honest, having these simple habits has brought a lot of clarity, and I've been getting back into my writing routine, and my one glass of water before coffee has become automatic. Who is she!?

Mia: My favorite part of the 21 Day Challenge was being reminded daily to practice. So I word with gratitude and that for me. It didn't mean necessarily having a journal or whatnot. I just tried once a day to remind myself of things I was thankful for. I tried to do this while I was going for a walk. It didn't always work that way but it kind of centered me in a way that I didn't expect because I'm still doing that. Now, thanks to this challenge.

Elise: My favorite part of the challenge was having the group to kind of hold me accountable. I really liked that because I kind of needed that in my life, but I also loved how it was a judgment free zone. So, if there was a day that I didn't 100% achieve my goals. I knew that I would be okay because there's just so much love in the group.

Keira: My favorite part of the challenge was actually making the accountability posts. I know that we were provided with sort of a calendar that we could put our little stamps on or a little emojis and share that way but this time around for the challenge, I decided to kind of curate my posts accountability posts, and it allowed me to share some of the highlights of my day.

Personal quotes that resonated with me for that day, and just shared the gratitude I had each day, and it really gave me that like extra opportunity to focus and stay grounded. And it was, it was nice to see the reactions that I got from people on those posts in particular.

Candice: My favorite part of the 21 Day Challenge was some of the connections I made with the other community members seeing their stories being reposted on the special Instagram page, the healthy habits Instagram page. I was able to connect and talk with them outside of that, comment on them and like to give them props and cheer them on their journey as well. So it was really cool to have to create a community that was so supportive, even though we were like in different countries and everything. So it was pretty sweet. I think that was one of the highlights of the challenge plus like seeing my own growth over the course of just 21 days, and how impactful just the simple act of going to bed early. It was super impactful and like all aspects of my life.

BIGGEST IMPACT

[15:13] Valerie: You may have heard me say this in previous episodes: magic happens when we are in action. And the 21 day challenge really gives us an opportunity to get into action through the support of our intention, our feeling, as well as the support of the community, myself here to cheer you on and help you through those obstacles and stuck spots. You are really supported in taking action on your habits and on your goals. Now, everyone does this a little differently because every habit is a little different. But the one thing that seems to really come up is this level of impact. It shows up for anyone who decides to take action, who decides to commit to that feeling word and commit to their habit and the impact Without giving too much away – you know, you know how I get when I get excited! The impact becomes so much greater than just the habit, so much greater than ourselves, and it starts to ripple into other areas of our lives. So let's hear from the members of the challenge, what some of their greatest impacts were during those 21 days.

Kayla-Jane: I think one of my favorite parts about the 21 Day Challenge was taking simple changes that I knew I needed to make and holding myself accountable.

And also allowing that like flow and compassion for days. If I wasn't feeling up for it like it's okay. Like it doesn't mean that I'm never going to be able to have a routine again. But I think for me it's also been a really welcoming after the 21 day challenge that I still have these routines and I'm allowing myself so much flow during the day, but also being grounded in the areas of my life where I need structure because as much as I would just love to live in law land in my head in the clouds. It's not how things work.

And the 21 Day Challenge helped me create support a system that allowed me to be my best self.

Mia: I had a couple of big breakthrough moments. And they oftentimes just came through connecting with other people on this challenge. And realizing it's okay to say it's okay to not be where you [want to be]. But to know that you're not giving up and you're trying to move forward that that's what really matters. and I think it made my gratitude practice a lot stronger.

Knowing you have this awesome community to support me knowing that you Val were there to support me. It was it was just really great And now, because I practice gratitude, helped a lot of other areas in my life become more focused. I wanted to incorporate a writing practice and now I have. I wanted to take steps in the right direction. Job wise to help me be more focused on, and now I have.

Elise: for me the biggest impact on my life that I experienced during the challenge was being gentle with myself. There were days where I only met half of my goal, or I didn't even reach it at all and in the past I would be really hard on myself. Oh my god, you're such a failure like you didn't do the thing you said you were going to do. And with this I just give myself grace, and it was okay because I tried my best and tomorrow's another day.

Keira: So following my favorite part, It was also the part that had the biggest impact. as I said, people would comment on some of the things that I was doing. I went to concerts I played card games on a Wednesday night. I did yoga practices by candle light, and the responses that I got from people that watched them, it was, it was nice, as though I had inspired, so I like that part.

Candice: The biggest impact… The one thing I would say is the feeling word actually having just a word or mantra or phrase or something to come back to is so helpful. especially on nights when I'm back still working and it's like okay, it's time to go to bed otherwise I'm gonna miss my goal or my habit.

I could rethink to like, Okay, well, my feeling word is centered, like, how am I going to feel centered if I'm not doing the things or if I like skip it tonight or whatever, and it would just bring me back to like, okay, this is something so simple, but it helped remind me of my goals and kept me motivated I guess for lack of a better term.

SURPRISE! UNEXPECTED GROWTH FROM THE 21 DAYS!

[20:28] Valerie: I've said this before and I'll say it again: Habits are life changing! And when we create the right ones, they can really help us master our lives. They can really be supportive of our lives. And I think what is so incredible about working with people to build their habits is the fact that I'm totally geeking out about it and they get really fired up about this. One of the other really amazing things in this transformation is to see some of the surprises that come up. Like I said, I give everyone the opportunity to choose their own feeling word to choose their own habits that they want to work on. And what really is incredible are the surprises that come out throughout these 21 days and maybe even after the 21 days. Little things that you didn't think were going to happen. Now, I would like to say that a lot of the time I can predict some of the things or some of the surprises that come up because I've worked with so many people to cultivate habits. I can see how other areas of your life will start to bloom and blossom and grow and transform as you're working on something else that's very specific to you. but it might not be specific to the other transformations. If I'm losing you Don't worry. you're going to hear a little bit about what I mean when you hear some of the surprises that came from those 21 days of working on one small seemingly insignificant habit, every single day. Let's hear from the challenge members.

Kayla-Jane: I think my biggest surprise of the 21 Day Challenge is what's happened after. Because once I got past the third day of working on these habits and also being sick for a week, It invited me to give myself the compassion for not doing it, but to also understand why I'm doing it. And having that self care before I jump into my day, or use my energy on social media has honestly been life changing and all the habits that I started during the challenge, or things that I'm still doing to this day. What are we, like, two months later?

Mia: Normally when I sign up, I get instantly excited and then instantly overwhelmed. Think I have to keep up with this challenge, how am I gonna do it, AHHH! This was not that.

I think it was fake because Val gave like daily reminders and connected us with the community. But I was surprised that even when I wasn't intentionally planning on practicing my feeling where it's practicing gratitude, it would come out the more I did it. So when I started off, I tried to take walks and just say what I was grateful for. After that. I was taking less walks, but my brain was still thinking, Oh, I'm so grateful for this I'm grateful for that.

So I didn't realize how consistent I would become just from starting with a stronger foundation.

Elise: What surprised me most about the challenge was how it incorporated other habits into my life. So you know, it was the drinking of the water and 20 minutes of movement. But then I was feeling really good about that.

And I started flossing my teeth every day. And I know that sounds kind of weird but I maybe had just gotten back from the dentist or it was gonna go to the dentist soon. And I don't even know but flossing – and it's been great.

Keira: One of the things for the challenge this time around was… I don't know, I guess it was more so it was something that was within me. And the grace that I gave to myself. I mean a different place than I was for the first 21 Day Challenge. And this time instead of giving up when I deemed myself not being where I had imagined I would be. I gave myself some grace. So one of my intentions was to practice yoga more consistently. And I struggled with that at the beginning of the challenge but I turned it around at the end with the support of Valerie and I was very proud of where I ended off. I'm excited to say that I have continued with my yoga practice, and now my little girl does it with me too so it's that that would surprise me the most.

Candice: What surprised me most about this challenge? I think the biggest surprise was just how impactful changing is so just simple, like just going to bed early.

I'm surprised at how much of my life impacted because it really trickled into every aspect of my life. I was able to like it as I had so much more energy during the day that I was actually able to be productive at work but I also liked prioritizing my own rest.

And it inspired me to like to take time to just be and not be working all the time. So it really did like center and balance, more aspects of my life than I really expected. I was also able to be like more present in the moment with friends and family Yeah, it impacted a lot more of my life than I anticipated.

[26:16] Valerie: Listening to this feedback and these experiences I find so inspiring. And I hope it's also lighting a little fire under your own bum so that you can make a simple change in your life to create bigger impact. And if this is something that you feel really called to work toward or to start, I would love to invite you personally to the 21 day healthy habit challenge as I mentioned, we will be starting in September of 2022. However, if you're listening to this podcast episode, after we start, there will be more challenges in the future. And all the information for those upcoming challenges can be found on the show notes page to this episode, which you can find at Valerie life.com forward slash one, nine for the other thing I love about the challenges I do spaced them out throughout the year. So the very first one happened in the winter. This next one was in the spring. and some of the women you've actually heard from today have done both the winter and the spring challenges. and I can tell you right now that their experiences are very different from my perspective, however I wanted to hear from them. I wanted to know what they did differently this time around.

Elise:

I'm not sure that I did anything that was like super wild to help the second round be more successful.

However, I did give myself more grace. and even on the days where I didn't do or didn't complete the goals for that day. I would try to pick one other thing. something that was different from my goals, but still gave me those feeling word vibes and counted that as a win. And that was huge for me.

Keira: With this being a second time around, I made a conscious effort to just commit to one challenge. The first time around, I was feeling lost and I joined this challenge. I joined a meditation challenge. I joined another challenge and I think I was overwhelmed with trying to put bandaids on my life.

It wasn't as successful the first time around so this time I really took it as an opportunity to stick with one challenge.

Choose something that I knew would be impactful in my life. Presently I was successful. Wasn't 100% Perfect, but progress was made and I am pleased with where I am at now.

Candice: So I've done Val’s 21 Day Challenge twice now and both times that are relatively similar like my goal and the first time I didn't do so hot. I think I was still in too frazzled of a state that I just didn't prioritize the challenge as much as I could have. The second time I I shared it with other people like I shared it with my family and my partner so that I could just have a little bit more accountability was the first time I was just kind of going on my own.

And so it was a little bit tougher because I didn't feel like I had the support I needed and I couldn't really talk to very many people about it.

And that was like my own doing I just didn't feel like sharing. My habit was like a valid thing to do with family and friends at that time. I was just a little bit too in my head. And the second time around, I shared it and it was helpful because they were like really supportive. The second time around it was really helpful to share it with others because then if it was getting late, my partner be like a you're gonna miss your habit if you don't go to bed soon. Or like if I was like too late, or if I knew that I had like a deadline coming up. I could talk to my partner and be like, Oh, I'm gonna miss my dad. Like, I have to choose. I'm gonna miss my deadline, or am I gonna miss this habit? What should I do? And so it's just nice to like have somebody else to talk to about it. Rather than feeling a bit like an island and like, like, because I didn't validate my feelings. In the first round. I felt like my habit wasn't valid. so I didn't take it seriously. whereas this second time, I was like, this is what I'm doing and I am valid and this is valid. and so I feel like it held more importance to me.

That was deeper than I expected to come out!

[31:11] Valerie: The first step to committing to yourself… The first action to take to truly loving and valuing yourself is making the decision that you are worth elevating your energy. You are worth healthy, happy, vibrant habits you are worth the time the effort and the energy it takes to create the best version of you.

that best version of you already exists. and by creating these automated healthy habits, It really peels away the layers of the things that aren't working, of that frazzled feeling, and it helps us focus on who we truly are and who we really want to be and showing up as that best version of us.

And that's what healthy habits do. That's why they are so powerful and impactful. and why they surprise us is because when we actually do that, What we're actually doing is we're giving ourselves permission to be that best version of us, we're giving ourselves permission to live fully and wholly and I want to support you in that journey and in that transformation.

And one of the best places that you can start is through the 21 Day Challenge. I'll leave the link for you in the show notes page. you can find it at Valerie Levine live.com forward slash 194. I was so excited for you to join us and I can't wait to support user your transformation but also to hear about your experience with the 21 days.

If you have any questions at all about the challenge, feel free to send me a DM on Instagram. You can find me @vallavignelife and I would be happy to answer any and all of your questions. And until the challenge you'll want to think about one of your feeling words or some of the habits that you'd love to start so get brainstorming sign up for that challenge, and I will talk to you very soon.

Take care for now!

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!