E200: Ask Me ANYTHING!

Celebrating 200+ episodes of the Women’s Empowerment Podcast answering your questions!

Thank you for submitting these.

CHEERS to the next 200 episodes to come!

[00:28] Welcome back to the Women’s Empowerment Podcast! Today is episode 200. Can you believe it!!!?

WOW!

From the bottom of my heart, thank you. Thank you for listening to the show. Thank you for your reviews, for sharing your favourite episodes, for sending me emails and DMs and texts telling me how you’ve been impacted by these episodes.

It means THE WORLD TO ME!

And I actually hadn’t realized that I wasn’t able to see podcast reviews from other countries, so one of my lovely american friends just sent me some screenshots of reviews from the US and I wanted to share one of them with you from Al’s

It is titled Wonderful and Uplifting

“I stumbled upon this podcast during my healing journey and in search of some inspiration, information, and peace. Wow… not only does Val’s very calming voice bring forth an extremely peaceful presence to her podcasts, but her knowledge on such a vast majority of things related to health and wellness makes listening to her podcasts really beneficial. She provides detailed show notes for each episode along with so many helpful free things! Her generosity and sincere willingness to help others speaks volumes. I learn so much from her and am able to apply the golden nuggets she shares into my daily life, which has greatly impacted me in such a positive way. I always feel refreshed and very peaceful after listening to her! Thank you Val for being such a bright beautiful light in this world!”

This is so heartwarming to read, Al thank you so much for taking the time to write this, it truly means so much to me.

If you’re listening now and feel called to write an honest review, I invite you to go to Apple Podcasts and leave one there. Please screenshot your review and send it to me hello@valerielavignelife.com so I can see it and thank you personally.

To celebrate this community and the 200th episode, I’ve been inviting my email list, as well as social media followers to Ask Me ANYTHING and I will answer the questions on today’s show! We’ve collected 10 questions from you, with no theme in mind so we’re kind of all over the place today, but I think we’re going to have a lot of fun!

Let’s start with…

1. [03:40] Jana: Do you ever go back and listen to the early episodes?

Thank you Jana for this great question. I have gone back to listen to a few episodes. It’s pretty neat to see how the show has evolved. For those of you who don’t know, the Women’s Empowerment Podcast used to be a LIVE show on Instagram & Facebook that I would record every Wednesday at noon.

One of the reasons for this was because I had no idea how to start a podcast yet – the technical side anyway, so I gave myself 5 weeks of live shows and in that time I sorted out the tech. I saved the videos from those 5 live shows and used the audio from them to create the first 5 episodes of the podcast!

The videos still live on my YouTube page, but they weren’t performing so well so I decided to continue with the podcast and let the videos go.

That being said, I have an idea for an episode as part of an anniversary episode so to speak. I don’t want to give too much away but, for fun I was going to watch/listen to the very first live episode of the show and film my reaction because I remember being so nervous and I think it would be so cool to see that version of me now and look back on that growth of myself as well as the podcast.

2. [05:04] Jenny: How do you establish a good sex routine if you’re single?

Thank you Jenny for this random question hahaha – we had a good laugh in the DMs. So I will add a disclaimer that I am not a sex therapist nor an expert in this feild whatsoever!

But I did say that I would answer any/all of your questions so, my advice would be… establish an intimate relationship with yourself. Get to know yourself sexually. What you like, what you don’t. And once you feel deeply connected with yourself, you will have a better understanding of what a “good sex routine” means for you both solo and in partnership with another.

I can also recommend the ever so wonderful Vivian Kan to help you with better understanding yourself and your partner(s).

Mindful Intimacy Instagram

Our next question comes from Jess:

3. [06:10] Jess: What habit do you find people have the hardest time to stick to? What’s your tip for this habit?

Great question Jess! Thank you so much for submitting this one. Truthfully, the habits people have the hardest time sticking to are the ones that they don’t actually want to do.

For example, they saw a TikTok that starting your morning routine with xyz would be super beneficial to their health but they aren’t morning people and don’t care to be.

Or they know they need less screen time before bed, however this hour of downtime scrolling Instagram or watching YouTube videos are what really helps them transition from their stressful day so it makes it a lot harder to “give up.” Remember that our bad habits make us feel good, which is usually why they can be the hardest to break!

I’m not saying people who like to sleep in can’t be morning people, or that if you want to ditch a bad habit it will feel impossible. Not at all!

Anyone can do and be absolutely anything that they desire. But without the desire… it’s going to be a lot more difficult, and more frustrating to create.

On that note, my tip for this would be to FOCUS ON FEELING. How do you want to feel? Your feeling word is foundational to your new behaviours and routines. Having the roots of your desired feeling allows you to grow your habits in a way that aligns with YOU!

For example, if your desired feeling is “energized” – you could add in a cold shower upon waking, or perhaps getting outside with some sunlight on your skin and eyes in the morning. Knowing that this is energizing to your body.

Perhaps your feeling word is “calm” – you could adjust your evening screen time from one hour to half an hour, and spend the second half hour reading, or taking a relaxing bath, or meditating before bed. Knowing that this change in routine is helping you feel calm.

So before you say you’re going to start a new habit, ask yourself: HOW you want to feel? It will be your foundation at the start, and motivation as you continue to grow and build the new behaviour.

If you or someone you know is struggling with creating and sticking to healthy habits and routines, I have a three month intimate container to support you in your customized habits in my 1:1 Make a Habit Mentorship program. There are a few spots available for the fall, and I have new spots opening up every season.

Our fourth question comes from my cousin!

4. [09:09] Lisa: Anxiety. How do you handle it? New strategies for a pivoting world?

Thank you for your question Lisa, this is another great one! I’m not sure if any of these would be considered “new'' strategies, but they have worked for me in the past.

I always approach health HOLISTICALLY and also getting to the root causes of the anxious feelings. Yes there are little things we can do in the meantime, however the deep healing comes when we understand the deeper cause.

I know not everyone’s situation is the same, and not everyone can completely heal deeper roots for unique reasons, so having supportive habits, routines, and rituals can be helpful as well.

I like that you mention a “pivoting world” because truthfully the only constant is change, and knowing this we can use the consistency of our routines and rituals to ground us in an ever-changing and pivoting world. Another key point to remember here is that we build healthy habits and behaviours when we are in a more neutral or calm state, and they support us through the anxious times.

I noticed this a lot through 2020-2022 when I experienced some of my lowest lows mentally, emotionally, even physically - definitely spiritually! The things I always came back to were some of the most simple practices that just kept me going through those years. It felt very heavy and very hard but the small practices gave me purpose and consistency, and the constant I was searching for.

REVIEW THE FACTS: When I notice myself starting to feel anxious I immediately call it out. I say “I am feeling anxious.” It’s important here to not use “I am anxious” like a mantra, spell or confirmation. Instead I am addressing the feeling, not labeling myself as such, because I am not anxiety and I am not anxious, I am feeling this way.

If we allow ourselves to be still for a total of 90 seconds, we are also allowing our emotions to move through us and essentially go away. I wrote an opinion piece about this on medium.

If we continue to experience the feeling it’s because we’re rethinking or restimulating the chemical circuitry of that feeling. To help me allow the feeling to move through me in that 90 seconds I do my 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 practice. It’s incredibly grounding and simple!

Look in your environment, what are 5 things you can SEE?

Then, 4 things you can TOUCH?

Next, 3 things you can HEAR?

Followed by 2 things you can SMELL?

And lastly, 1 thing you can TASTE?

Connecting to your five senses brings you completely into the present moment. Usually when people feel anxious, it is more often than not because of situations or problems that don’t exist yet – future worries. Bringing ourselves back into the here and now, looking, touching, hearing, smelling, tasting the facts right in front of us brings us back to HERE.

Now that we’re present, we can connect to other facts too, like what we know is true from our past.

BREATHE: Something that is always available to us is our breath. The breath is another anchor that brings us into the present moment. As you notice feelings of anxiety arise, connect to your breath. I am inhaling… I am exhaling…

You can also practice what I call “box breathing.” Essentially you’re inhaling for a count of 4, holding the inhale for 4, exhaling for a count of 4, and then holding the exhale for 4. As you practice this breath you can imagine tracing a square in your mind, or an invisible one with your finger if you wanted to. With the box breathing you can change the shape of your box using your count, like 6-4-6-4 or 8-4-8-4. I find keeping it simple, at least to start, is best.

Mindset also plays a huge role in coping and managing anxiety. It’s so specific and individual to each person, so without sounding too self-promoting, I will encourage you or anyone you know who is interested in an intimate coaching setting to build daily habits, routines, and rituals to support them with their healthy mindset and emotions, with the 1:1 Make a Habit Mentorship program.

5. [17:35] Kaylie: What’s the benefit of those crazy pilates machines? Is it much better than floor exercises?

Kaylie, thank you so much for your question. I had a giggle to myself when I read it! If you didn’t already know this, I co-own a boutique reformer pilates studio in Burlington, Ontario and we specialize in small group and sport-specific classes using the reformer pilates machine and other small equipment.

The “crazy pilates machines” Kaylie is referring to are the Reformer Pilates machines.

EXHALE PILATES | website | instagram

Anyway! They are actually really incredible pieces of equipment that use spring tension, ropes and pulleys, and rolling wheels. It’s a bit difficult to explain, because it sounds more like a torture device, but truly it is a very intuitive machine and works your entire body.

I teach both mat and reformer pilates and I’ve got to say mat can be really challenging, especially if you don’t have the strength. I was explaining to someone recently that I feel like with mat pilates there’s level 1, 2, 3, and then 20! Whereas with reformer, the equipment is so supportive, you can build gradually through levels.

The other wonderful thing about the machine is the spring tension provides resistance, which mat pilates lacks. Using resistance has many benefits such as building muscular strength, endurance and stability.

The type of machines we have at the studio are a high-quality professional model which is raised higher off the ground than the lesser-models which makes the machine even more accessible than it already is. Reformer pilates is a very complimentary type of exercise that benefits the entire body, and compliments anything else you do in life, whether that be sitting all day, other types of exercise or sports, etc.

If anyone lives near the studio, or is in Downtown Burlington, Ontario, please stop by! I’d love for you to check out our beautiful boutique studio and retail space! Maybe we can take a class together.

While you’re there you might even get the opportunity to meet one of our members, Suzanne, who has submitted a question for today’s show. Her question is…

6. [20:45] Suzanne: How often (if at all) would you suggest changing habits/rituals?

Love this question Suzanne! Thank you for asking. Humans, other animals, and basically everything existing in nature moves through cycles. And as we mentioned early in the episodes, we live in an ever-changing world so I most definitely encourage changing or mixing up our habits.

There are a few different reasons to make shifts, and the ones that come to mind are: seasonality, supportiveness, and stacking.

Seasonally: Just like the cycles in nature, our habits can change with the seasons. We’re officially into fall, so some examples of fall habits are: eating more stews, soups, and warm foods.

Additional resources:

Supportiveness: Another time you can change up your habits is when the habit no longer feels supportive or in alignment.

The question to ask ourselves is: are my habits bringing me closer to my current goals or halting my growth? This is why we always start with our intention, and we build out our habits around that intention.

Not all habits are good, or healthy, and when our goals change, so do our behaviours. You’ll want to reevaluate your goals and daily behaviours to see if they are in alignment.

Stacking: Lastly, you might want to mix your habits when you’ve created a habit and now want to stack a new habit on top. Sometimes this requires changing things up or adjusting timing/scheduling.

Perhaps you’re adding a bath to your evening routine so you need more time, or you’re stacking a stretch after your morning workouts. You’ll want to make sure you have the right timing and support in place.

Speaking of support, mixing up and changing habits is something we can work on together in a more customized approach in my 1:1 Make a Habit Mentorship Program. The fall availability is currently open at the time of this recording, and if not this season, check upcoming seasons too!

So the next two questions were really similar so I just kind of put them together. I didn’t want to go with just one since two people phrased it in different ways. So I wanted to thank both Ceri and Candice for these questions…

7. [23:08] Ceri: How would you scale back routines/habits when life is busy and you feel you need to slow? Candice: When life gets hectic, how do you pair down your habits?

I really love these questions, and similar to when we talked about anxiety, there are habits that really keep us grounded and stable through challenging and busy times.

As someone who has got a lot on her plate, I can faithfully tell you that the key to balancing “busy” and health is sustainable energy. Our foundational habits are the key to this energetic balance. When life gets busy, focus on Foundational Habits that keep us healthy and moving steadily.

#1. Nutrition

The first foundational habit is nutrition. Food is fuel and the right food will support a clear mind, an energized body, and a strong immune system.

Prep easy, whole-food recipes and remember that fast food only slows us down. We might have skipped the dishes, but we’ll be feeling sluggish and unmotivated after eating it.

#2. Rest

Lack of sleep isn’t a badge of honour, but it will give us bags under our eyes, and have us making mistakes and poor choices the next day.

Prioritize rest. As the second foundational habit, rest recharges our batteries and rebuilds our cells. Take breaks, schedule in self-care, and set boundaries around bedtimes and wake up times.

#3. Movement

I always say, “A body in motion stays in motion.” I meat that for our physical health and also for our energy.

Intentional movement, whether that is a workout, pilates class, midday walk, or a daily stretch, will keep your body and mind alert and ready to GO!

Healthy can be simple, even when life isn’t.

These next two questions come from Kennedy. The first one is…

8. [25:46] Kennedy: What’s your favourite morning you’ve ever had?

Thank you for this question Kennedy, because I truly miss this morning routine and I have been brainstorming ways to make it work for me again.

I used to get up at 5:30am, drink greens and go to the gym for a strength training workout. Then I would come home, dry brush my skin, shower and following the shower I would journal and/or read a few pages of a personal development book. On the way to work I listened to some business or mindset podcasts. That was my morning from 5:30am to 7:45am and I LOVED it soooo much.

I also practiced intermittent fasting then, so I would have bulletproof coffee, or bone broth, or green tea in the morning and then I’d have a shake later in the morning.

I think the part I miss most about this routine was the fact that the morning was for ME. and I had this whole time to myself. No texts, no emails, no one else asking me questions or asking things of me. It was the alone time I needed to ground, connect to my body, refresh my mind, and set me up for the day ahead.

A lot has changed since I had this routine, and I look for other ways to have those quiet and meaningful moments to myself. I’m creating a new routine that works for me in this season of my life and it’s almost as fulfilling.

Kennedy’s second question is…

9. [27:35] Kennedy: What do you think young Val would think of current Val?

Coming in with the feels Kennedy! Thank you for this second question, it’s such a good one. I think she’d be in awe. I think she’d be proud of me. I think she’d squeeze my hand and take me to play barbies with her – which I never let anyone play barbies with me really LOL unless I had a friend over that I trusted haha

In all seriousness, I think she would see me and feel the confidence and the self-belief that she needed at that time and know that a big and bright future was available to her if she believed in herself. If she met fear with courage and if she decided to shine. She would see me and know that this is possible.

And from the bottom of my heart, this is what I aspire for other women. This feeling of self-confidence. This knowing that we can be and do anything. That when we believe in ourselves, the world is limitless.

Our final question comes from Jana…

10. [29:45] Jana: Any planned change of direction for the next 200 episodes or just flowing with it?

Janna thank you for another great question. I’d like to tell you that I have these things all planned out, but truthfully I’m going with the flow. I see the show changing a little in the new year. I made a few changes this year to the podcast, and they’ve been great so far. I also like the idea of some more series on the show. Our most recent one wraps up next week!

All that being said, if you’re listening and have an idea for the podcast, please feel free to send me a message on instagram @vallavignelife, I would love to hear from you!

Thank you to everyone who asked a question today, and thank you for listening to the podcast. I am speechless with how much this show has grown and how it has evolved. It has also changed and shaped me in so many beautiful ways. I am grateful for this opportunity to share, educate, and connect. Thank you so much!

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!