E96: Harmony with the Heart Chakra
E96: Harmony with the Heart Chakra
The middle chakra; the bridge between the lower and the upper energy centres; the heart chakra…
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[00:34] Today we are continuing our chakra series with one of the most well known chakras, our heart. Before we go into more detail, let's review the seven main chakras, also known as energy centres, in the body:
Chakra One: Is the root chakra located at the base of the spine/tailbone
Episode 64: Reclaim Your Roots with the First Chakra
Chakra Two: Is the sacral chakra, located at the reproductive organs, below the belly button
Episode 89: Sexuality & The Sacral Chakra
Chakra Three: Is the core or solar plexus chakra, located in the abdomen above the belly button
Episode 79: Confidence & The Core Chakra
Chakra Four: is the heart chakra, at the centre of the chest
Episode 96: Harmony & the Heart Chakra
Chakra Five: is the throat chakra, located at the throat
Episode 58: Speak Your Truth with the Fifth Chakra
Chakra Six: Is called the third eye chakra located at the forehead, between the eyebrows
Episode 71: Intuition & The Third Eye Chakra
And lastly, Chakra Seven: the crown chakra, located at the top of the head.
Episode 105: Divine Connection with the Crown Chakra
[1:49] Along with specific locations in our physical body, the chakras also coincide with emotional, mental, and spiritual themes. The fourth chakra, also called the heart chakra is all about forming relationships with peers and family, as well as developing character or personality. The meaning or purpose of this chakra is love and balance. In Sanskrit the name for the fourth chakra is Anahata which translates to ”unstruck.”
[2:19] The chakras also have colours, issues, identity, demons, characteristics, and much more.
Themes around the fourth chakra have to do with love, balance, and relationships as I mentioned, and also self-acceptance, self-reflection, intimacy, grief, compassion and devotion. This chakra is represented by the element Air and the colour green.
When I first started this chakra series in the podcast, it was for the fifth chakra, the throat. I told a story of my past trauma and pain, and how I am learning to heal, even after all these years. (Episode 58: Speak Your Truth with the Fifth Chakra)
Although my throat chakra was very blocked and needed a lot of work, I would not have been able to grow and heal as much as I have without the fourth chakra, the heart. I believe in honouring the heart, connecting to the heart, and healing the heart because I believe in the power of love. Now before you roll your eyes or think what I’m saying is cheesy, I’d like to ask you to pause for a moment. Pause and think, and feel what happens in your body when you hear and say the word “LOVE.”
Where do you go mentally and physically? Do you think of your family, your friends, your partner? Do you feel warm and whole? Perhaps you feel pain, like a tender wound after it’s touched. Or your mind goes to what was once and now is lost. Wherever you are, and with whatever you are feeling, place a hand on your heart in recognition of your fourth chakra. Of your past and present experiences. Allow yourself to feel, to be, and to hold this space, judgement free.
It’s not always easy to feel our emotions. Sometimes we don’t even understand them. Love can be quite the mystery, and I’ll say it right now: I don’t have all the answers. And that’s okay.
[4:36] Recently though, I have started to nurture my green thumb. Something I’ve always wanted to have was a connection to plants and Mother Earth. Some would say gardening and growing plants connects us to the root chakra. (Episode 64: Reclaim Your Roots with the First Chakra) They would not be wrong! Lush green plants do indeed have steady, grounding roots. They also grow high, as if they are reaching up toward the heavens. They’re green foliage bright and alive like the heart chakra. This chakra is the middle of our seven energy centres. It connects the physical to the mental and spiritual realms that go beyond ourselves.
Without this heart chakra, the rainbow of energy centres collapses. The power of love: without it, we cannot heal.
And although we can recognize love visually and physically, like through a loving smile, or a warm hug, the heart chakra resonates with the element air. An invisible force that moves, the one thing no being can live without, the element of expansion and change.
If you’ve ever been in love, you will have experienced this enchanting feeling. Love “sweeps us off our feet!” It lifts our spirits, melts our ridgid hearts, and we start to see the world through rose-coloured-glasses.
And even though love can alter our senses, we must remember that balance is an important purpose of this chakra. Balance of our self, and also balance with ourselves and the world.
[6:30] You may have heard, or learned for yourself that without loving ourselves, we are challenged to love others. Life and relationships become complicated. And do you know what the most common block in the heart chakra is? The absence of self-love.
When I started this chakra series, I wanted to educate the audience at a more introductory level, and support healing through simple guided meditations. What I have also been experiencing through this education is my own growth and healing. It’s actually been really wonderful to break down each chakra, and not in the sequential order, but in this intuitive way of wanting to share.
At this time in my life I am feeling so much in the area of the heart chakra. The world needs so much love and it has loud cries for compassion every day. The more I take time to honour and heal my own heart centre, and find ways to love myself, the greater my capacity to love others and to give love. Like the air, love is boundless, limitless, but it can be easily blocked. Think of how often we hold our breath throughout the day! Are we also holding love back from ourselves and others just as easily? Just as often?
[7:55] As we bring awareness to our thoughts, emotions, and feelings about love, we may start to uncover specific characteristics that give us more information about the health and balance of our fourth chakra. This is information about ourselves and our energy centres that helps us begin the healing process. It’s important that when we are learning about ourselves, we do so with kindness, even if we don’t love what we’re learning or we don’t like how we feel in specific moments or experiences. Learning is a huge part of growth and healing.
To keep the content today introductory, consider the following characteristics and how they might be showing up in your fourth energy center.
Excess of an energy centre means there is too much here, whereas deficiency is the opposite. The goal for healing is to find balance.
Signs of excess in the heart chakra:
Codependency
Demanding
Poor boundaries
Clinging
Overly sacrificing
Jealousy
Signs of deficiency in the heart chakra:
Withdrawn, rigid, anti-social, cold
Critical, judgmental, intolerant
Lack of empathy
Narcissism
Fear of intimacy, fear of relationships
Depression
Loneliness, isolation
Remember that we can experience both deficiency and excess, and it could very well be dependent on specific relationships or certain experiences. It’s important to become self aware so that we can direct our healing and energy to the right places.
Here are some of the characteristics of a balanced heart chakra:
Compassionate
Loving
Empathetic
Good immune system
Altruistic
Peaceful, balanced
Self-loving
No matter which chakra you are balancing or healing, love is the universal medicine. However we don’t always know how to use it, and this is what makes healing so complicated. So I will share some healing practices with you, and also I encourage you to explore your own wisdom and guidance. Our bodies know what they need, we just don’t always listen to what it’s sharing. Listen, love, and lean in.
[10:35] Let’s start with a big one: Self-Acceptance.
This is the part where I get a little awkward and want to say “I YAM WHAT I YAM” a heart-chakra mantra if you will LOL
But the truth is, this work is MUCH easier said than done. This work is internal and it’s deep. It’s about honouring our individuality and the relationship with have with ourselves. It’s about loving who we are without the noise or distraction from the world around us. And there is SO. MUCH. NOISE. Telling us who we are supposed to be and what we’re supposed to do and think and feel and how we’re meant to act. But the truth is we are enough. At our heart centre we are whole and beautiful. It’s our right and our responsibility to find ourselves and love ourselves.
We must take time to learn about what we love, what makes our souls happy, and heart’s sing. We must speak to ourselves with kindness, patience, and compassion. The same way we speak to our loved ones.
This is a daily task. We are building and healing our relationship with ourselves every day.
[13:39] In my most favourite chakra book, Eastern Body Western Mind, the author Anodea Judith shares a wonderful exercise she calls “The Inner Family”
“Make a list of the various parts of yourself. You might list the inner child, the critic, the lover, the clown, the parent, the achiever, the quiet one, and so on – the possibilities are infinite. Next to each name on the list, write a few words describing how you perceive this part of yourself. The inner child might be described as playful or wounded, needy or angry, scared, cute, or awkward. The achiever might be driving, relentless, exhausted, or enthused.
After the description, write down what you think each part wants. The clown might want to be liked, the inner child might want to have fun, the critic to make sure we are always perfect. How often do these parts succeed in getting what they want? How realistic are their desires? What can be done to bring them into wholeness?”
I love this exercise and I’m surprised because I’ve never done it like this before. I teach a similar exercise with the inner critic, who I like to call the “Inner Mean Girl” or “Person” and it’s quite helpful to separate ourselves from each of these inner family members.
[16:04] Another healing practice for restoring the heart chakra is if we Keep coming back to Feelings
Earlier I mentioned love being the universal medicine, and how it is just like air; the one thing every being needs to live. We access our feelings through our breath. When we hold back our feelings we hold our breath and when we hold our breath we restrict life force energy into our entire body, and we hurt ourselves.
Deepening the breath allows repressed feelings to surface, to mobilize and to release. Through the breath we explore feelings and can let go of the ones we no longer need. I actually had a reiki healing session this morning and my energy healer Tasha was encouraging me to breathe deeply offering a visualization of anchors stuck deep under the surface of the water. With each inhale I was pulling the anchor up and out of the bottom of the ocean and bringing it closer to the surface, where I could let them float away.
Breathing helps us free the heaviness of our emotions, but we cannot let them go if we block them or ignore them, we have to keep coming back to our feelings so that they don’t get buried so deep every time.
One of the simplest ways to come back to our feelings is by observing the breath. Notice how you breathe in different scenarios and experiences. When I feel angry I hold my breath because I don’t want to have an outburst. But really this is counter-productive, because what happens when you hold your breath for too long? You usually panic and quickly GASP for more air.
Now when I'm feeling upset or angry I place a hand over my heart center of the chest and breathe deeply into this space. Feeling my hand rise and fall with my inhales and exhales until I feel centred and present.
You might notice that you are breathing, but your breathing is very short, shallow or restricted. Notice what happens when you start to breathe deeper into your belly, or other parts of your body like wide into your ribcage. Feel pauses between inhalations and exhalations like a 4-2-4-2 or 4-4-4-4 breath:
Inhale for the count of 4
Hold for 2
Exhale for the count of 4
Hold for 2
Work your way up to deeper breaths and longer pauses.
[20:00] Grief Work
Deep breaths and breathwork often releases grief. Grief is heavy and is felt after the loss of a loved one. We lose someone we love and our love attaches to that person. We cannot get back the lost loved one, but we can reclaim what we've attached to them. The person we were, or the way we acted with that person is what we let go of and need to get back. It’s the self that feels nurturing, playful, loving, excited, sexual, that might be lost. The parts of you that person brought out leaves when that person leaves your life.
When doing grief work we want to regain the connection with the self that is inside of us, rather than the attachment to what was lost. We can ask questions to help us uncover the self we are missing:
Why was this person in particular so special to me?
What did they bring to me that I am missing in myself?
What part of me was particularly bonded to this person, and what does that part of me need?
What has disconnected from within myself as a result of this ending, and how can I nurture and reconnect that part of myself again?
[25:39] Forgiveness
Is needed when we put up walls of blame. When our hearts are hurting, we project from where we are injured. Blaming others acts as a wall to protect us from opening up and being vulnerable again. However the wall blocks us from opening ourselves to loving, as well blocking us from receiving love.
When we are able to forgive, we are able to heal, to remove the walls and blocks. Forgiveness requires compassion so that we can understand the situation and how it affects ourselves and others.
The heart and heart chakra don’t need to be wide open. The purpose of the heart chakra is about love and balance. It’s about “finding balance in love” if you will.
The balance is a self acceptance and openness that allows us to find peace, stillness, and stability without constriction. Healing the heartspace requires meeting parts of ourselves that are very vulnerable and the work can be challenging and painful at times. Keep pouring more love into your healing. You will find the healing and it will reveal your next steps.
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Podcast Host
Valerie LaVigne
Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!