E182: The Power of Passion and Perseverance are the Keys to Success (GRIT Book Report)
E182: The Power of Passion and Perseverance are the Keys to Success
While many people would watch the olympics, or high-level sporting events, see hugely successful public speakers, or read about large industry leaders, and think they must be very “talented” or even very “lucky!” The truth of the matter is that luck, or their talent is not what got them to where they are today. It was actually their Grit; their passion and perseverance that are the true keys to their magnificent success.
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[01:02] Welcome back to the Women’s Empowerment Podcast, I am your host and Healthy Habit Mentor, Valerie LaVigne. For the past couple months I have been fascinated by the idea or quality of “GRIT.” Some of the most successful people in their own industries, networks, and teams have also been known to be the grittiest.
This all began when one of my Healthy Habit coaching clients recommended I read the book called GRIT by Angela Duckworth and once I started reading it I couldn’t put it down. In the beginning I was both fascinated and offended by the quality of Grit because when I did the Grit Test, I was disappointed by my low-ish score. (Low by my standards).
The Grit Test
Grit Test (page 1 of 2) from the book GRIT by Angela Duckworth
Grit Test (page 2 of 2) from the book GRIT by Angela Duckworth
Take the quiz and send me a DM on instagram @vallavignelife with your score! I’d love to learn about how gritty you are!
As I continued to read the book I took copious amounts of notes and my mind was racing with ideas of how I could incorporate what I was learning in the pages of this book with my own coaching clients, as well as how I could increase my own grit score.
I was thrilled to learn that grit is something that anyone, with the right tools, knowledge, and passion, could develop! To give you a better understanding of this book, I pulled this excerpt from Angela’s website:
“Pioneering psychologist Angela Duckworth shows anyone striving to succeed—be it parents, students, educators, athletes, or business people—that the secret to outstanding achievement is not talent but a special blend of passion and persistence she calls “grit.”
Why do some people succeed and others fail? Sharing new insights from her landmark research, Angela explains why talent is hardly a guarantor of success. Angela has found that grit—a combination of passion and perseverance for a singularly important goal—is the hallmark of high achievers in every domain. She’s also found scientific evidence that grit can grow.”
For the purpose of today’s episode, I would like to share with you some of my most favourite takeaways from the book, as well as how I’ve been practicing this in my own life and with my coaching clients.
How Grit Shows Up IRL
One of the parts of grit I love most is that grit is something anyone can cultivate, or grow, as Angela describes it. This is because it’s all about dozens of small activities, or skills that have been carefully moulded into habit. When you look at the small activities and skills you merge or combine these over time, you see the whole. When the habits are done consistently and correctly, together the whole is excellence!
Most of the time when people see the big picture, or the finished project, they don’t see the work, the time, the effort, the practice, the passion that goes into it.
When I first started my business one of the really helpful pieces of advice I received was “don’t compare the backend of your business to the front end of someone else’s.” Meaning don’t compare your steps 1 through 10 with someone’s step 1000.
I’m sure you can think of countless examples in your own life, where you understood what it took to get to a certain place, and yet people only see the very last step, or the completion of the project and they just do not, and might not ever understand the whole thing.
Not many people want to bake the cake from scratch, but a lot of people want to eat it.
This is one of the reasons why, even though we are all capable of grit, not all of us are in fact gritty. So what sets us apart?
Committing Even When Uncomfortable
Well according to Duckworth, a few things. And one of those things is staying true to our commitments even when we’re not comfortable. Oftentimes we try something and fail, or it doesn’t go as planned and it feels a lot easier to give up. But it’s really about getting back to it the next day, eager to try again. This is a reflection of grit in a person. (p.50) “Because when you don’t come back the next day — when you permanently turn your back on a commitment — your effort plummets to zero. As a consequence, your skills stop improving, and at the same time stop producing anything with whatever skills you have.”
That’s it. It’s over and done.
Goal Setting
[05:54] Another thing that sets apart people with and without grit is goal setting, and more specifically setting a singular goal; one very high-level goal.
Imagine the big goal at the top of a pyramid. Below that are smaller goals that help get to the bigger goal, and below those smaller goals are even smaller ones, and below those are simple habits that in time bring us to the bigger goals above it.
For the lower level goals we’re testing things out, and if they aren’t working we try, try again, and then try something different until it does work out.
When I first start working with a new Healthy Habit Coaching client, I ask them how they want to feel. This feeling word becomes our bigger goal so to speak. There are lots of different ways we can get to this feeling word, and as we create habits, rituals, and routines together we begin to connect to that feeling word and also confidence in ourselves to keep growing and moving forward.
This is really the preliminary step to a bigger goal. Once we create a small and simple habit, we dream bigger and aim higher. We set the big hairy-scary-goal and break it down into smaller goals and then the smaller habits. As we work together on the smaller habits and daily practices, we observe and test what works and what doesn’t as we aim to grow to the bigger goal.
For entrepreneurs and business owners who want to be at the top of their game, their big goals are going to be success in their businesses. When we break this down we can start with a daily habit of planning, which then creates structure. Having structure helps this client to have an organized mind, which supports them in their creative process, communications, decision making, and more.
Another habit for this client could be daily goal setting, which supports them in creating direction, and the long term or larger goal brings them to feeling purposeful. Having purpose in work - as we will discuss more later on - is deeper and powerful than intention and helps the business owner’s commitment, drive, and grit for the bigger goal.
What are some of your big goals in life or business? Choose one and begin to break that goal into smaller goals. Then break them down even more until you find something simple you can do daily and make a habit.
Need help? Visit https://www.valerielavignelife.com/contact and let’s connect on a free call to see if you and I are the right fit to work together to create your dream life.
If You Want to Be More Gritty
[09:03] When I first started reading the book I felt a bit defeated because I wasn’t scoring as high as I had hoped on the Grit Test. But as I continued to read, I was encouraged by the fact that we can grow grit from the inside out.
Angela says that gritty people also understand that grit is not entirely fixed. Grit can grow! If you’re not as gritty as you want to be, ask yourself “why?”
There are a few common reasons why people drop out of things, as I read the list for you, consider which ones you have said or thought in the past:
I am bored
The effort isn’t worth it
This isn’t important to me
I can’t do this, so I might as well give up
If I’m being honest, I have definitely repeated all of these things at least once in my life. And, honestly I have said these things and also STILL tried and tried again. Not for all of the activities, but for a few.
Coaching (Parenting, Teaching) for Grit
In the book there is a chapter on Parenting for Grit and I’ve taken a few of the concepts for parents and adjusted it for my coaching because I see a lot of similar connections in these relationships.
As a Healthy Habit Mentor, I want to be supportive, warm, respectful, and demanding. It’s a fine balance, but it’s also the most effective. I strive to be client-centred. Even the Healthy Habit Membership is client-led and evolves over time. The membership is new and it has changed a lot as the members have changed and started to grow more.
My client’s interests come first. I won’t make someone start a journaling practice if they’re not excited about writing, but I will support them in going a little beyond their comfort zone. I will also ask them to overcome obstacles through trial and error; through DOING and taking action! How will we know if it really works, or really doesn’t if we don’t at least try?
When a person invests in themselves through working with me, I see this as a commitment to themselves, their health, and their life and I have very high expectations of them that I know they can reach. Being able to set these high expectations and communicating them to the clients has been really effective in their ability to take action, even if the larger goal isn’t achieved right away.
Action is where the magic happens. It’s where we get to see and understand what is truly working, and what isn’t. It illuminates our obstacles and helps us create more focus on what we can do to achieve our ideal success.
Following Your Passion
Another quality that makes people gritty is that they have interests and they follow their passions. When someone is passionate they have higher job (and life) satisfaction as well as increased performance.
When working with my coaching clients we have one-on-one conversations, as well as client-forms for me to better understand what lights them up; what are they excited about? What interests and passions do they have?
Not all of them know right away, and are at this beautiful point in life where they can begin to explore what is really meaningful to them. (p.104) “Interests are not discovered through introspection. Instead, interest is triggered by interactions with the outside world. The process of interest discovery can be messy, serendipitous, and inefficient. This is because you can’t really predict with certainty what will capture your attention and what won’t. You can’t simply will yourself to like things either.”
We can discover our interests by experimenting with different things to see what sticks. Before hard work comes play! Let your exploration be fun and playful. We need encouragement and freedom to find out what we enjoy.
[13:05] Here are some questions to ask yourself, meditate on, or write in a journal, to help you foster passion (p.115)
What do I like to think about?
Where does my mind wander?
What do I really care about?
What matters most to me?
How do you enjoy spending time?
And, in contrast, what do you find absolutely unbearable?
Then… experiment with your answers. Physically experiment and take action on what you discovered in this exercise.
Do you think about flowers and design? Perhaps you can take a floral workshop and create a beautiful arrangement!
Does your mind wander to far away lands where you can hike to mountain tops? Find a place you can start hiking to, or book a hiking trip and strap on your boots for some practice before climbing!
Do you really care about animals? Is there a doggy daycare, animal sanctuary, or pet spa you can volunteer at?
You get the point… start taking action and PLAY! Schedule joy into your life and begin to foster and cultivate your interests. If they stick… your passion will begin to grow along with your grit.
I am very passionate about health and wellness. I have worked my way to becoming a Healthy Habit Mentor and Pilates Studio Owner, and some days I say, “thank god I love what I do because not all of this is super fun!” haha but I got here because I learned about yoga and started flip flopping around on my yoga mat and I didn’t stop. I didn’t stop playing and connecting, and trying, and falling - literally and metaphorically. I didn’t stop practicing.
Practice, Practice, Practice
[14:43] When it comes to practice, Angela notes that “practice is important, but experience doesn’t always lead to excellence.” It’s about continuous improvement. You can be doing something the same way every day for ten years and there is no improvement. Another person can be doing the same task as the first person, but tweaking it a little bit every day, and in one year have more success than the person who’s been doing it for ten years.
Because there is practice, and then there’s deliberate practice. You want to create a stretch goal for yourself. A stretch goal is a goal that you have that is slightly out of your comfort zone. Then work toward that goal and keep doing all the things until you reach it. Once you’ve achieved the first stretch goal, you create a new stretch goal and repeat.
With deliberate practice we have significantly more effort and it’s significantly less enjoyable, but this is the type of practice that really matters. It has to be targeted: what is the goal? And it has to be more efficient: how can we do better this next time around?
Angela’s research revealed that gritty people also experience more flow. Whereas “skilled people can sometimes experience highly enjoyable states “flow.” Flow is experienced when skill and challenge are in balance. Flow is by definition, effortless.”
You might have also heard it called the “zone of genius.” And it feels very much like time flies by without you noticing because you’re in that zone, or in that flow state.
I noticed this for myself when I started to really get into my daily french lessons on the app Duolingo. In the beginning I had the free version of the app that only let you make three mistakes. If you made more than three you lost your “hearts” or lives and you had to either watch an ad, wait for the time to get more hearts, or you had to go back to an old lesson and practice to gain a heart. When I discovered this through my practice I started to get into a flow of learning. Each day I started a new lesson. If I lost my hearts, I went back and did three practice lessons to gain back hearts, and then tried again in the new lesson. Every day I completed a minimum of one new lesson. Sometimes this meant I was also practicing old lessons more depending on how many hearts I needed to restore. Then I started increasing my daily goals and sometimes I was restoring hearts over and over again. At the time of this recording I have been learning French with the app for 669 days! Oftentimes when I’m on it, I don’t realize how much time has passed and I keep practicing.
In the Flow
[17:45] So how can you get the most out of deliberate practice and experience more flow?
Start with a clearly defined stretch goal. Be specific with your goal, and make it measurable so you can track your progress. Make your goal attainable and actionable, and see if you can push yourself just a little bit more out of your comfort zone to stretch it. It also helps if the goal is time-sensitive, exciting to you, and relevant to your bigger goal.
Once you have your stretch goal, you want to make sure you have full concentration and effort while practicing. Eliminate distractions, block the time in your schedule/calendar, and show up for the practice. I mean really show up. Like be there for what you’re doing and for your own self with enthusiasm.
Then you want immediate and informative feedback. If you have a coach, mentor or teacher there to give you the feedback - amazing. If not, perhaps a visual recording, a journaling, or tracker to keep you accountable to improving.
With any habit or skill development, the last thing you will need is repetition, not only repeating the action/activity but also repeating the method of deliberate practice. Along with repetition add in reflection and refinement, using the informative feedback. This is how you get the most out of deliberate practice and experience more flow.
Purpose is Deeper than Intention
[19:15] I mentioned earlier that purpose is deeper than intention. People with grit are not just goal-oriented; the nature of their goal is special. Their goal is meaningful to them, and there is also a contribution to the well-being of others.
A well articulated example from the book of how “purpose is tremendously important and a very powerful motivation,” was about three bricklayers. (p.148)
The first bricklayer says “I am laying bricks” which they see this as a JOB
The second bricklayer says “I am building a church” which is a CAREER
And the third bricklayer says “I am building the house of God” which they see as their CALLING. There is purpose and meaning in the work they are doing, even though each bricklayer is essentially performing the same action, it’s the PURPOSE that separates them.
(p.150) “When people see their job as a calling, they also express a deeper sense of purpose. This has led people with a calling to be more willing to sacrifice unpaid time/work harder/etc.” Think of this in your own life and work. Do you see your work as a job, career, or calling? Are there co-workers you can think of who see their work differently, even though you have similar responsibilities?
In the book Angela shares the practice of “Job Crafting” so you can put what you’re currently doing into practice to be more purposeful. Think about how, in small but meaningful ways, you can change your current work to enhance its connection to your core values.
If you can draw connections to the work you’re currently doing, and how it is making a positive impact on the world, you might be surprised to see how much more engaged you are at work, or how much more meaningful you find your work.
Core Values
When it comes to your core values, identify yours and ask yourself, “How can this help me develop the [work/home] culture I want?” Take some time to memorize, truly understand, and reflect on your core values more often. Go a step further to invite your co-workers or staff into the practice of identifying their own core values and having them draw connections into the workplace, and also into the greater impact on the community or beyond the workplace. How are their core values helping the work community and greater community? This helps them see their impact and makes their work more meaningful.
Habits of Optimistic People
[21:51] This is not only helpful in creating the feeling of purpose, but also helps with everyday mindset and being more optimistic. It starts with a growth mindset, which leads to optimistic self talk, which helps build perseverance over adversity. When we understand that difficult situations can be learning experiences and opportunities for growth, we do just that - we grow! We overcome obstacles, we move past blocks, and we keep going and trying to reach the goal.
Some helpful daily habits for building a growth mindset:
Update your beliefs about intelligence and talent
Practice optimistic self-talk
Ask for a helping hand
If you’re stuck on the limiting belief that it’s “too late” for you to change, or you’re “too old” to learn something new, remember that the brain is incredibly adaptive, just like a muscle that gets stronger when you use it or train it. The brain actually changes itself when we try to master a new challenge. The book Grit explains, (p.192) “all of our lives, our neurons retain the potential to grow new connections with one another and to strengthen the ones we already have.”
Grow Your Grit
[23:03] Most of the time our growth can be completed through countless small daily habits, each doable - but each so easy to forget, ignore, or botch. But when you have the combination of passion and perseverance, you can truly grow your grit. Start from the inside and cultivate your interests. You can develop a habit of daily challenge-exceeding-skill practice. You can connect your work to improve yourself. And you can learn to hope when all seems lost. Developing your personal grit depends critically on other people. Connect to outside sources like parents, teachers, coaches, mentors, bosses, and friends.
Grit is not just about success, it’s also about happiness. (p.270) “The grittier a person is, the more likely they’ll enjoy a healthy emotional life. Even at the top of the grit scale, grit went hand in hand with well-being, no matter how [Angela] measured it.”
I truly enjoyed this book and have already recommended it to so many people. The book has been linked for you in the show notes page, as well as below this episode wherever you’re listening to it.
I already feel like this is a book (and a podcast episode for that matter) that I will revisit and use in my coaching programs for years to come.
Share how you are cultivating more GRIT in your life and business by tagging me or sending me a DM on instagram @vallavignelife I would LOVE to hear how this is growing for you!
Podcast Host
Valerie LaVigne
Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!
