BONUS: Finding Comfort in the Unknown
BONUS: Finding Comfort in the Unknown with Allie Duff of Pure Balanxed
Allie is the creator and founder of Pure Balanxed, a Canadian clothing brand creating soft, luxurious everyday pieces. Each piece features a signature affirmation tag to support, love and guide you on this crazy journey called life…
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Allie thank you so much for being on the show, it is an absolute pleasure to host you today!
[00:52] Tell us about your journey, your story, and how you started the Pure Balanxed Brand.
Allie grew up as an athlete, and took the path to become a Division 1 Athlete and got a swimming scholarship to go to school in the states. Through that journey she was also dealing with a lot of mental health issues and illnesses, but she lived in silence, not know what her mental health issues were about or what was going on.
She was very shy and did not talk about how she was feeling or what was going on, until she got a bit older. Finally, she started to talk more about her mental health and learn more with the help of therapists.
After 12 years of competitive swimming, she finished her swimming journey. She was 21 years old at the time and also finishing school. During this transition, she felt like she was losing her self-identity, and felt lost with what to do next. At this point, her eating disorder began to take over her life and for the next couple years lived through a phase of a lot of unknown. Her safety and comfort became her eating disorder.
As her health declined, she needed to take action to better herself so she went into treatment for her eating disorder. While in treatment, Allie came to a realization that the way she was living her life was not healthy and not right for her, and that whatever steps she needed to take next needed to be something that would be purposeful and fulfilling and make her happy. This is where Pure Balanced started to develop.
Since she was in a hospital setting at the time, everything that had brought her comfort in the past was no longer available to her. She was also experiencing a lot of changes in her body, emotions, feelings, and nurture her mental health in a whole new way. This lead to her realize that there were some things missing in her life and in the lives of others. When she couldn't find those missing pieces, she started a new journey to start her own business to fill the market gap.
PART ONE: ABOUT THE “PURE BALANXED” BRAND
[5:25] Can you take us through the process of how you transformed your idea of Pure Balanxed into the clothing company it is today?
Allie had always wanted to start her own business, but didn't know exactly what it would be about. She loved the whole aspect of having her own business and thought that it was really glamorous and really cool – and now knows that it's very rewarding but also very tough.
She had also always been obsessed with clothes. Growing up she was very materialistic, and when she was younger loved wearing brand-names, and the lifestyle the brands were selling. When she was in the hospital setting, in her early 20's, she was searching fro clothes that would bring her comfort, not feel tight and clingy to her body, and would have something else hidden in it that would give her the extra piece of safety she was searching for when she didn't have anything else with her.
When it comes to clothing, it's something we have to wear all day – every day, so she was searching for a basic flowy tee, with soft fabrics. When she couldn't find the perfect tee, she discussed with her therapist her clothing brand and new business ideas.
There were a lot of limiting beliefs about if and why and how to make it all happen. Allie's therapist was the one who pushed her to start the process. She told her to buy a plain t-shirt, get her logo printed locally and that's how she started.
Allie took her idea and created a logo, printed it on a random t-shit she bought, and the other thing she wanted to have on the shirts was a little hidden message. On the inside of the shirt she added an affirmation that started with, “I am strong.”
She started with 1 t-shirt, and then 50 t-shirts. During this process she came up with the idea of affirmation tags, which has become signature to the Pure Balanxed brand. They appear as an “X” or an “X” on the front and when you flip it over it has a positive affirmation on the other side.
The tags represent having the extra piece of comfort with you, but also it's hidden to the outside world. It's an extra piece of comfort that you can grab onto anytime throughout the day. They're woven tags that are more comfortable than regular tags.
[9:18] You spell Balanxed with an “X” instead of a “C,” why is that?
The “X” represents finding comfort in the unknown. When Allie was coming up with the brand, she was in love with the word “balance” and she feels very strongly about finding balance in her life. She wanted the name of the brand to be unique to her and the brand itself, and used the alphabet and different languages for ideas and inspiration.
In mathematical terms, x represents the unknown. We're always trying to find x
X is the 24th letter in the English alphabet, and Allie started the brand when she was 24 years old!
She was mostly drawn to it because of the “unknown” and when she was starting the business there were so many unknowns; we're always faced with unknowns.
[11:25] Who were the people who supported you through your journey the most?
Definitely Allie's parents were and are huge supporters. Her mom helps Allie come up with designs, and acts as a sounding board for her ideas.
In the beginning Allie felt that she had lived a life of pain and darkness, and she really took the step forward to do whatever it takes to make herself happy and do what it takes to get there. This became her drive and motivation to make her dream happen.
[12:50] At first, did you find that starting your own business to be a guiding light to bring you into the brighter future? How did starting Pure Balanxed tie into the mental health healing of your journey?
Allie thinks it definitely helped guide her, and was something that gave her the purpose she was seeking. This purposed helped her navigate her new life post-treatment and motivated her to stay healthy, and get through each day.
[13:55] Do you have any tips for someone who might be listening who is feeling lost, and how they could find their way?
“Finding your purpose is not something that is going to come very easy. I also think it can't be something that is super rushed… It takes a process to get [to the point of knowing your purpose] and for each day it's going to be different. Trying out new things is a good way to start. I think everyone deep down know what they truly want to do with their life, but there is going to be fear and limiting beliefs that are going to stop them. For me, it took me hitting rock bottom to really realize that I can't live my life like this anymore, but I don't believe that has to be for everyone.”
[15:55] I love how you mention feeling good. There’s a real experience when customers wear your clothes, especially with the texture as you just described. Part of how your brand, Pure Balanxed, “feels good” is by giving back. Can you tell us more about the organizations you donate to, and your connection to them?
Before starting the business, Allie always wanted to do something to support people with eating disorders, and have worked with three different organizations since starting the business.
NEDIC (National Eating Disorder Information Centre) based in Toronto. They do amazing work to help bring awareness to eating disorders and also have a direct client support program. Which is an online chat and a toll-free phone line. They are the only place in Canada that is doing this.
FRIEND'S FIRST based in Toronto. They work with kids help phone to bring awareness to anti-bullying and creating more kindness when teaching young children. Pure Balanxed has a kid's t-shit that supports this company.
Currently working on donating Masks to Midwives during COVID-19, for ONTARIO MIDWIVES ASSOCIATION.
[19:45] What were some of the biggest challenges you faced when building your brand and business? How did you overcome them?
Allie started Pure Balanxed when she had just come out of treatment for her eating disorder. She also didn't have a job or any money coming in, and she was still having to pay for where she was living, meditation, transportation and other fees at the time.
She was able to get a small loan to order some t-shirts and get the business going. Later she was able to get another loan that helped her expand the business, which allowed her get some more funding to elevate the products and branding research, build a marketing team, etc.
Financials is one of Allie's biggest roadblocks, and finds creative ways to do free marketing. And because of the overwhelming competition in the fashion industry, she can sometimes get caught up in the self-sabotaging comparison game.
PART TWO: MENTAL HEALTH & FINDING COMFORT IN THE UNKNOWN
[24:01] I love how you talk about the “unknown.” You empower others to embrace it, and find comfort in it. What are some ways we can start doing this, in our own lives?
Initially we may avoid the unknown because it feels like a big scary thing. Allie suggests:
#1. Creating Community: Take a step back and know that this isn't a place where you need to feel alone in, but this is something we can all support each other in.
#2. Create a “Worried” List: Write down everything in your brain that you're worried or stressed about and let it go.
#3. Reframing: the fear and unknown and to see what we can do and what we can control in the situations we're in.
[28:06] You’re an incredible advocate for mental health, can you share your top Mental Health Tips with us?
Finding comfort: What can we do to find comfort where we are? Taking a bath, lighting candles, taking yourself out of the moment of distress.
Writing things down can really help. Getting it out of our brains and onto paper so we're not ruminating on it.
Talking to someone, and opening up to someone else about what we're going through.
Practicing something hands on: colouring, knitting, something physical that can help distract your mind from negativity.
Positive affirmation + mantras: this is a huge part of the Pure Balnxed brand.
Finding the little things that are going to create joy in your day; even if it feels very hard to do that.
[32:25] For the listeners who may know someone that is struggling with an eating disorder, what advice can you give to them in how they can support their loved-one?
Just be there for them. Asking them how you can support them. Saying something along the lines of, “Hey I've noticed that something is off. I want you to know that I am here for your, I love you.” You don't need to ask them questions, but let them know that you are there for them. Avoid forcing them to talk, or forcing anything on them.
If it is a tough situation where they're really struggling and you don't know what to do, you're going to have to see a professional. You could help your loved one with the process of finding the right professional for them.
You could send them sweet notes or messages whenever you're thinking about them.
[36:06] Looking back on your journey, if there was something you could tell yourself 10 years ago, what would you say to that younger version of Allie?
“It's okay to be yourself, you don't need to be anyone else. I feel like growing up my whole life I just never felt like I was good enough, or that I could be myself, and had imposture syndrome and was always trying to be like other people… People will like you no matter what.”
[37:35] Where can we find you, follow you, and how can we support your business?
INSTAGRAM | @alliejeanduff @purebalanxed
WEBSITE | www.pureblanxed.com
SUPPORT: share about Pure Balanxed, go to the website and purchase a piece, or donate to one or more of the charities they are working with. Join the newsletter to stay informed.
PART THREE: RAPID FIRE SEGMENT
[39:41] #1. What are you currently reading? Or what is your favourite book?
The Silent Patient, by Alex Michaelides
My Dark Vanessa, by William Morrow
Untamed, by Glennon Doyle
[40:18] #2. What do you love most about being a woman?
“We all have this energy and maternal instinct to take care of others and a very unique strength that we all share and I think that's really special about being a female.”
[40:55] #3. What does empowerment mean to you?
“When I first think of empowerment, I always think of community. I definitely think about whenever we empower or share the word empowerment, it should be 100% about building each other up and supporting each other, whatever it may be, and coming together as women.”
[41:30] #4. What are you currently working toward?
BUSINESS: Getting the next line of production out for Pure Balanxed Fall & Winter 2020/2021
Podcast Host
Valerie LaVigne
Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!
