E122: Supporting Our Health Through Art and Cycles with Milica Dodic

Join me in welcoming Milica Dodic to the show, and lean in as we chat about the ongoing healing and support of our mental, emotional, and physical health through syncing with cycles and creating through art…

[1:06] Valerie Lavigne: You're listening to another special episode of the women's empowerment podcast today, I get to introduce you to Milica, she's the owner of rhymes with pizza, where she creates hand painted custom nails.

Her career includes working in the film and television industry in business affairs festival programming and recruitment, with over 15 years of practice and experience with nail art, Milica has expanded her business in May 2020 to offer press on nails and educating others on proper nail care when she's not working or thinking about nails, Milica loves playing with her puppy watching TV shows and movies, and advocating for mental health.

It's so great to have you on the show today Mili we have always had a good time on Instagram, and I just love how that we share like memes and playlists and hilarious reels all about like the 90s in the early 2000s and makes me, like it makes my day I laugh so hard at all of them.

Milica Dodic: It's so funny because I just said to someone this morning that I love how people know to send me nostalgic stuff, and it just brightens up my day. I'm like, oh so I'm this person now like I'm obsessed with the 90s and 2000s and just, can you just please take me back to that time.

VL: It's such a fun like kind of little extra piece of you that we get to see on your Instagram page I love like the quizzes that you do and the stories I think they're so fun I'm like, Yes, I remember all these TV shows. Oh my gosh, I use that oh blow up backpack and like a blow of chair and, oh my gosh, just like days and days and days I just love that, and I love, I love those.

MD: I love unlocking people's memories, good ones though.

VL: Oh my gosh, you know what there was one playlist where I was like, This is triggering me, I'm not ready to listen to. Yeah, thanks. 2009 or 10 right now. But since I've known you and started following you online. I think it's been like almost 10 months I want to say, but I've really had this awesome opportunity to watch you launch and grow your company and your new press on nails which are amazing. So it's been an absolute pleasure and an inspiration just to see your creativity and your passions like really shine in the work that you do. It's incredible.

[3:32] MD: Yeah, it's, it was something that I actually kind of started doing a walk like a long time ago, probably about well, long, about five or six years ago that I was thinking of doing press on nails and then it just sort of fell to the side, and then I found that with the pandemic. I had to make some sort of switch because I wasn't, I didn't want to have people coming into my home which also doubles as my studio, and my workspace. And then I have a few friends who weren't being compromised. So I wanted to be able to offer something that, you know, still like makes people happy I guess like through.

It's basically just wearable art. That's how I view nail nail art in general. And it's just very specific stuff so I generally don't offer just like a single color it's always hand painted miniature pieces of artwork.

And, yeah, it was, it. I saw a bunch of other nailers that I follow that kind of started doing that and offering nails or press on nails. And, yeah, I just thought, why not try it.

VL: Oh, you're doing an awesome job you are a very talented artist and just like you said they're very unique and miniature canvases that's how I like to look at it too, but you are also an advocate for mental health, could you tell us more about your journey and your experience with this.

MD: Yeah. I think I even infused that in any of the work that I do, even with the press on nails. When I first started doing them it was important for me to sort of try and give back in some way and incorporate the things that I believe in so that's where like the designs for charity came in, And one of the first ones that I did was for mental health because it was for October's mental health awareness.

You know like nails have always been a way of creative expression for me, it's just sort of like, it became more of this outlet, where, where I'm able to just like you know even like express my mental state. A lot of the time people are able to tell if I'm not feeling well. When I'm not posting anything about nails, or if it's been like a while there have been times in the past where like, I wouldn't post anything for like two weeks or something.

There would be like two weeks where I'm not posting anything and you know I'll make a post and someone will be like, oh is wondering what happened like are you okay.

So, yeah, um, my journey with mental wellness is, or mental illness rather is quite a long one and an ongoing one. I suffered from a pretty bad nervous breakdown back in 2016.

And that was, it was like super difficult for me to navigate.

And because I went into a state of self isolation for probably about eight months. I didn't have a job at the time, or I did have a job but it was just so part time and fortunately they understood what was happening so it was able to work from home for a time, and then that contract was done so.

So I was stuck in such a state of like really deep depression and not knowing what I was going to do with my life and not really even knowing who I was, that, you know, the only thing that that gave me any comfort was nailart I was like the one thing that was pretty consistent in my life. Other than like watching HGTV and hallmark movies and other comfort shows. And, Yeah, it was, it was kind of like it was just really difficult trying to navigate that whole field of mental health and especially as someone that is an immigrant.

*Molly Barks*

[7:50] VL: No problem. We love it it's just an extra sound effects she's our other special guests.

MD: She has a lot to say

VL: Yeah, it sounds like it I'll have to have her on her own episode.

MD: Um, I think, you know, like as an immigrant, that's something that is such a difficult conversation to have with your family like it's not something that we ever really talked about, you know, growing up, I've probably had anxiety for a big portion of my life.

And it was just something that was not recognized So because of that, you just sort of like hide it or you push it aside and think that it's like oh I'm just being dramatic because that's what I was told.

So I partially had to try and navigate the system on my own because I didn't have conversations with friends about it. But it wasn't until I started going through some through, through it, that I started being more vulnerable and opening up the conversation with other people that they started coming to me for advice, and even just wanting to like share their experience and their story of dealing with mental illness.

[9:06] VL: And I think that's so important in. In those times already do feel very sad or anxious, or are alone, because it I find it is very isolating to feel those ways and you don't always know how to, how to manage it or how to cope or how to process those things so to be able to have friendships and support groups like that is so powerful. You shared a couple little things that really helped you, when you were struggling with, with your mental health. If someone came to you today, right now like if I told you right now that I was really struggling with my mental health, what would be your advice or what would, how would you support your friend.

MD: Um, I think, listening to what their experience is obviously so important. It's not so much about like asking questions I think that that's something that is so that the job of a therapist or a trained professional.

You know, things that are, that come from a place of empathy, I think that was one big thing that I had to learn is the difference between sympathy and empathy and it's just such an ongoing practice to try not to, like, flip it on its head and be like, well, at least, you know, blah blah blah.

I think my biggest thing is just really trying to see sit in that space as hard as it is something that my therapist told me at the beginning when I started therapy, about four years ago.

She, she would constantly say like just sit with your feelings and I'm like, but I am doing it and it's not working and she's like, After several weeks ago saying that she was like, literally sit there with your feelings do not watch TV while you're doing it don't read a book don't listen to music nothing just be there in silence and just like feel things.

So I started doing that and I was like, Oh my gosh, this is what she meant by sit with your feelings and sometimes it's not even sitting for me the thing that helps me a lot of the time is just laying on the ground, though something another friend told me is like, if you just lay down on like a cold ground like your kitchen floor, whatever, just the contrast of that, the cold against your body kind of gives you like a, like a physical cue to sort of snap out of it, I guess.

And it just allows gives me the space to, like, think because the only thing of staring at is the ceiling.

And then the other thing that helps me to was just really researching the different stuff, you know like I didn't really understand what anxiety or depression was, I just kind of knew what the surface definition of it was.

And, you know, like, No, I just believe that knowledge is power, and being able to know like what resources are available to you. And that's something that I say to people all the time, don't, don't let the, the financial aspect be be a deterrent for you. I know that a lot of therapy is not necessarily affordable but there are different resources available, where it is more accessible I think especially with the pandemic there has been a bigger.

What's the word. There's been a bigger focus on mental health and I think a lot of organizations and places of practice have realized, you know, we need to be able to offer services for a lower price or even for free.

[12:52] VL: Those are really helpful I find like what you said about laying on the floor of your kitchen floor, it’s very grounding even if you can’t get outside in the grass if you can't get there, that cold feeling and even the, the firmness of a kitchen floor typically is something that really brings you into the present moment. So, what you were saying by like, oh sitting with your feelings but not watching TV and not being on your phone and not just like talking to your dog actually sitting and being with your feelings can be really difficult to do, and as that's as you start to recognize or acknowledge the feelings or bring awareness to the feelings that are coming up. We automatically seem to want to work. We seem to want to distract ourselves from processing it from dealing with it, or from just even recognizing it so for you, what would you say if someone was like, I'm having a really hard time. Like I feel the feelings, and then I just kind of ignore them or push them back away I'm having a really hard time processing, which you say or do?

MD: I think that's, it's so difficult for me to give advice on like one tip because everybody's so individual I don't know what type of, you know, stuff, you know background, they come with or whatever. I think for me.

What helped me was, was knowing that like, you know, progress isn't linear, I might, you know, the more I practice something that better I will generally get with get get get at it.

And it's the same with like practicing sitting with your feelings, I might feel like crap one day.

And then I won't be able to you know like sit with my feelings that day because I'm just so deep in it.

It's just kind of giving myself that grace and compassion and allowing the space for things to flow essentially. I think when, when I was able to alleviate some of that pressure for myself of being like, I just need to do better like how do I learn to sit with my feelings that once that pressure was gone. That's when I was like, Okay, today I'm having an off day like I might actually just want to like, you know, I can't deal with my feelings today, I'm just gonna watch a movie. Right. And then the next day, I might have a little bit more strength or energy to actually devote time to mindfulness and being able to sit there and process things, you know in a healthier way.

I think it's even like you made a post today that was, that was basically about the like compassion piece and you know that like, you don't have to always be improving yourself or doing better and stuff, you know like, give yourself that grace period.

[15:59] VL: Yeah that's true I did post about that today, It’s an ongoing journey, or mental health is not something that okay we fixed it and now it's good to go. It's something that we're constantly working toward or nurturing maybe instead of always trying to improve improve improve. I mean there's definitely some power and positivity but I feel like the real work, and the real power comes when you can forgive yourself and when you can say like it's okay to not feel amazing every single day it's okay to not feel super happy in this moment, like, we're human beings we have emotions these emotions come and go and they go up and they go down and they go around and all of these different things. But you know that I post about and I share a lot of content about practices and habits and kind of like daily rituals and things are there any rituals or routines that you like to implement into your lifestyle maybe more frequently than not, that support your mental health.

MD: So I go to a naturopath, and that helps both in my mental like with my mental illness, and then also in like hormonal imbalance and whatever other physical issues that may be having.

And I think that that has really helped me in like keeping on track with like getting to know my body better.

That's one practice that I've implemented in like, you know, if one day, I feel like eating pizza, it's okay for me to eat pizza.

But then, you know, there are certain certain repercussions to that so just having a bit of that balance, you know like, I don't necessarily have any like daily rituals I'm kind of like bad at keeping up with the consistency of things sometimes but I think the one thing that is more consistent is like, allowing myself, the compassion to just listen to what my body needs at that particular time.

Whether it's like, you know, mindfully checking in at any point of the day, I don't necessarily start my mornings being like, Okay, what do I need right now. It's just, you know, I might start my mornings off.

You know, really frantic because the dog for example will wake me up at 630 in the morning with her crying, and that doesn't start me off on you know on a good foot in the mornings, but throughout the day I'll try and implement even like points of relaxation I find that like play for example is something that is so important to me. You know today, for example, I'm. I'm so, like, in this in my luteal phase of my cycle and I know that I get a little bit more pad top. The PMS is like a lot worse. So just being aware of what part of my cycle I'm in and kind of trying to work with that instead of against it's so important to me.

And just recognizing that like today for example I won't be able to do a lot of work so instead I might just like, watch TV, and do some painting, and then the painting something that is just a hobby.

And that's another thing that are in any of, like, my wellness practices, it's so important to have some sort of hobby that you aren't looking to make like financial gain from.

[19:44] VL: Yeah, you've made a lot of really valid and really important points, and I think that I mean if we go backwards so having a hobby that doesn't that you're not monetizing, I think is really important, and especially for myself because I'm always kind of like I really love what I do, I love my business, and there are parts of my business that make a little bit more money than others and even though. Like, like content creation for example with my Instagram. I really like making content creation, I don't get paid for every post that I do. But technically that's for work, but part of me makes the excuse of it, like, well, it's fun, and it is really fun. And I like the photography part of that I like the creativity piece to it but maybe.

So you're inspiring me to maybe just do like, or photography and less of it having to be okay this is for something, it can just be for pleasure can be for play.

Also I love that you are following your cycle, this is something that I'm also practicing more and more and specifically with like work and when I do my interviews and also when I'm doing more like intuitive, intuitive creation and not always doing, I think there's such a stigma around having to always be productive and giving yourself permission to say, well, like and check in and say how am I feeling, even if it's not every day at the same time or however, to at least give yourself that time, and that that compassion to say, Okay, well, you know what, this, this part of my cycle is where I take a break, as part of my cycle is where I push a little harder, and for women who aren't doing that yet. I think that's something that has been really game changing for me, and I find, I'm more productive when I follow the flow of my body, because I just like you're, it's like you're working with yourself and you find this like incredible life source energy within you that just, I don't know I just like I can take on the whole world sometimes even when I'm in that. Lower hormonal phase in my cycle. It's like my meditations are marked with it, and I have so many incredible and like expansive ideas for the show and for my Instagram and like how I want to serve in my workshops and all these different things so it's pretty incredible that you're doing it. Do you have you been doing it for a little while.

MD: Um, it's something that has sort of come up in conversation over the last, I would probably say like two or three months, just organically and it wasn't actually until a couple days ago that I looked into it and realized that there is a term for this it just hasn't been like medically researched as much as.

Oh my gosh, cycle thinking.

It's, it's something that like a couple friends have mentioned to me before but not like explicitly in those in that term.

So now I'm looking at like buying a couple books about it because I want to know more about it. I think even my naturopath has like sort of talked about it but hasn't been like listen let's like attack it from this. From this view.

And it's something that is just making me feel so much more empowered, instead of seeing seeing it as like, Oh, I feel like crap, this many days of the month, and I can't do anything like why am I not being productive and instead seeing it as like, this is just the state of my cycle where, as you said, like maybe I can be more creative instead of attacking things from very high energy point, you know it's it's it's working with your body rather than against it and I think that there's so much power to that and yeah it's it's exciting being able to know that there's this like whole other thing that I haven't never heard about really. It also kind of brings me back to my days of like, academia and learning about you know the luteal and follicular phase of your cycle, but like not really knowing what the heck that even means.

So now, you know like, it sucks that I'm 30, and I'm only now finding out about it. I wish that I knew about this when I was like a teenager.

So, I find that, like, the more women I'm able to talk to about this, there's just such a, for lack of a better word like a sisterhood around it right and i think that that feels so empowering to me.

[24:35] VL: Yeah, and it goes back to what you said about having that supportive community, and it's not just for mental health is for our social health and our emotional health and our physical health event. And it's cool to see how everything's really connected when you're doing cycles thinking, you will start to recognize if you haven't already that these different cycles that we go through, are very closely related to the seasons that everyone goes through every year.

So if the way that I think of it is like okay every month, I go through a year of seasons, or I go through four seasons and then working with those seasons like thinking about how in wintertime. We are a little bit more hibernating that summer probably like Netflix and chillin, and just taking it easy. And then as spring starts to come.

We're feeling a little bit more inspired and we're starting to do more things because like think about like the flowers that are or like the seeds that we planted, or are starting to plant are now coming into that blossoming time and same with summer like, that's when we're, we're harvesting all of our crops and all the flowers are like totally in bloom and we're. That's when we're like, really excited and we can do our interviews and we can just really show up and be these like really vibrant cells, and then it cycles back into fall, where things start to slow down a little bit, but it's not about like the, you know, like the dying trees are like the hibernating trees, it's more like, okay, each of the leaves are falling down this is where we're like wrapping up or wrapping up all the things that we've been doing so that we can prepare for our hibernation and I think that's such a fun and cool way to to explore and learn more about your body so I'm so excited that you're on this journey. I don't have any resources that come to my mind. Do you have any books or resources that you are looking into getting about this?

[26:27] MD: Yeah, the woman who coined the terms Cycle Syncing is named Alyssa Vitti and she wrote, WomenCode, and then she also has another book I forget the name of it. I think she's a nutritionist that's based in New York or something and basically all her work is around us and just trying to empower women to really get to know their bodies better, you know, like cycles thinking through, even incorporating things in your lifestyle and nutrition based stuff, like what things you should or shouldn't eat. According to the part of your cycle you're in.

And, yeah, I'm looking at getting the audio book for that and then probably just like the regular book for her second piece that she wrote because I think it also comes with like a bunch of recipes and stuff and I love cooking, most of the time.

So, yeah, it's kind of like this like cool new thing that I am starting to discover and it feels really fun, like you said, and it just feels like there's just so much hope behind it I think in a lot of ways in the past, especially when you're talking to doctors and stuff and this goes hand in hand with like mental illness too is that it will be really dismissive or they'll just sort of use these like three blanket terms or, you know like, general practice, things that might not actually work for your body so at the beginning of my whole mental wellness journey. I was.

I was supposed to go on an antidepressant, and I was like, This doesn't feel right for my body and I ended up listening to my body and not to the psychiatrist. So wasn't very good at her practice.

And I ended up going to a naturopath, and that has helped me so much more because we actually sit down time.

And it's not a thing where, you know, I had to have a lot of antidepressants, so I think being able to take a more holistic lifestyle is.

VL: Because we’re still on the topic of mental health resources topic, what resources would you recommend?

MD: So there's, there are a few resources about this woman specific to Toronto and Ontario for affordable therapy. I think it's affordable therapy network.com or something like that. And it's just a list of a bunch of different therapists and social workers and counselors that offer affordable rate therapies both for couples and individuals.

And that's how I found my current therapist and she's really great.

What else is there, I have also a link to a document that a friend of mine and I have combined some resources as well for not just actual like therapy but just different like links to learning a little bit more about mental health. So I can share that as well.

VL: That would be amazing. All this has been a really interesting conversation I feel like we dabbled in a little bit of everything in terms of like mindset, mental health, emotional health and also some of our physical health too. I think this is going to be really helpful for people listening. So let us know where we can find you follow you and how we can support your business?

MD:

IG | @rhymes_with_pizza

Website | www.ryhmeswithpizza.com Press on nails available on this site! And then I also take custom orders as well. Prices are, there's a large range of them. So everything is custom made, and every piece is unique because it's hand painted. And then I also offer some nail care stuff so there's cuticle oils and they're all natural.

There's three different types currently I'm probably going to be adding a couple more. And that's a little bit more affordable and it's also for people that don't necessarily want to get press on nails.

VL: Yeah, I was telling the Milica before the recording that because of how much I work in like the fitness industry and how much I use my hands I feel like I'm constantly chipping my nails and I never, I don't remember the last time I painted my nails I'm going to be honest with you, but I do like I do feel like there is a part of me that has these beautiful press on nails that you have but I just learned my, I just learned my nail care from you and I feel like I learned how I would want my nails to look, if I paint.

MD: It's also inspiration for outside of just nail stuff like if you're into drawing, painting, I love talking about just like creativity and that whole journey too so I think anybody can be creative. It's honestly like if you haven't already checked out her Instagram page you would need to, because I still don't understand how you make those detailed drawings or detailed like, how do you do that with nail polish I really don't know. Every time I'm like this is amazing.

VL: It’s so impressive! I can't even sit still just to like paint one nail one color, and I find like I always it's always like, how good is it, how does it look like I pushed my fingernail into the couch after I painted it.

VL: What are you currently reading, or what is your favourite book?

MD: I haven't been reading as much I just found that like reading is really difficult for me to keep consistent with it so the way that I try and get back into that habit is reading youth graphic novels.

I recently read one. Oh my gosh, the name escapes me, But it was just this like adventure graphic novel and it's super fun and, yeah, there's always a beginning, middle and end, and things are always, there's always a resolution.

VL: What do you love most about being a woman?

MD: Oh my gosh, so many things. I think like femininity is so powerful to me like being able to be able delicate and assertive.

Feels so powerful to me I think that there's, you know, there's like, just so many different almost like characteristics that you can take on as a woman, and I love that.

VL: What does “empowerment” mean to you?

MD: I almost look look at empowerment is like being able to share that with other people. I don't necessarily feel empowered all the time myself but if I'm able to share that with somebody else and make them feel confident about what they're doing and who they are, then, then I almost feed off of that.

VL: What are you currently working toward?

MD: Oh gosh. Um, what am I working toward. I think just having a better patience, practice with myself. I think that that kind of goes hand in hand with the whole play thing and why I'm trying to incorporate more hobbies and just like quiet time because it gets me into a better flow state and then I'm able to get back to work and like create things a little bit better. It also like goes with that whole cycle sinking thing and that, that just makes me super excited.

Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!