E158: 3 Powerful Pieces to Creating and Achieving Big Goals
 
 

E158: 3 Powerful Pieces to Creating and Achieving Big Goals with Rachel Kelly

Meet Rachel Kelly, a community builder, goal getter, and master of puns. Rachel helps entrepreneurs find community and the courage to build businesses they once dreamt of. Within just 5 years, Rachel has done a lot: summiting the top of Mt. Kilimanjaro, opening a brick and mortar coworking space, launching an online community, and even getting her motorcycle license. Not to mention the Forbes feature, or partnerships with big wigs like Instagram, Bumble, and Nike. Rachel’s signature ‘dream big, be kind, get sh*t done, people first’ style is what makes her community, the Get Sh*t Done Club, so desirable and hold a waitlist of over 100 entrepreneurs at any time…


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[1:43] Valerie LaVigne: Hi Rachel! Thank you so much for being part of the Women’s Empowerment Podcast. I have been wanting to have you on the show for a very long time. So I appreciate you being here with me today.


Rachel Kelly: I’m so excited to chat with you, Val!


VL: I have been following you and your business and you might not have known this already. But I've been following you in your business for several years, and I have been really enjoying watching your journey and your transitions and how you kind of ebb and flow to all these really unique and creative things.


The way that you bring people together the way that you share your story the way that you like empower others has been motivating for me and I know for sure for all the other people who are following you and who've been a part of your your, your memberships and your communities and all of the things that you're doing.


As a business owner myself, I feel like there are so many things on the back end to make what you do look so effortless and so successful. And I would love to talk a little bit more about this with you today because like, how do you do it?


RK: Oh my gosh. It’s really funny that it comes out like that, but I’m so glad that it comes off that way. But surely I am just a girl staring at her laptop asking it not to die on her. And for everyone listening I hope you got that reference from Notting Hill.


VL: Amazing Yeah. So some of the things that I know that you have shared, kind of like here and there is the power of knowing your business being clear on your goals. You know, knowing that vision and where you want to be forward. And if we kind of peel back the layers to that. Something else you shared with me is the power of looking at your numbers. Can you tell us a little bit more about what that means and how we do that?


RK: Oh my gosh, okay. So, you know, touching on the vision thing first, I think it's so important for anybody who is starting a business or you know, thinking of starting a business is just having a bit of a clear goal or idea of where you want to be. It's so much easier to work backwards from there and create that recipe that you're going to follow and don't stress. If it's going to change, life happens all the time.



But truly, like there is nothing more powerful than understanding where your numbers are at. It is the sexiest thing ever. Maybe it's not a sexy activity. But it is truly so attractive to understand where you are financially in your business.


It's a regular thing I always do every week. I'm always checking in with our QuickBooks account, reviewing our bank statements, understanding who owes us, who do I owe? Where's our money going and it helps me make sound decisions moving forward. So that's really it in a nutshell. I would say, you know, have that meeting with yourself on a regular basis. It may seem scary at first, but you're going to be so much more empowered to make decisions moving forward.



VL: Interesting, I'm very curious about this, but I do want to circle back to what you said about having a clear goal and vision. If you could share one or two things, or one or two questions, maybe we could ask ourselves to help us get clear on that goal or vision public those one or two questions be?


RK: So this is a question I asked myself. I was nodding my head along to that too. This is a question I ask myself regularly, especially when I kind of like those down-functions but also you know when things are going really well too, but I asked myself a simple question. If I had everything, and I had everything I ever wanted in my life. What would that look like? And I start writing all the things out I'm like, I want a cute yellow Volkswagen van. I want a motorcycle. I want to buy a cute Airbnb. I want to go to the beach regularly. That is like, who am I talking to? What kind of food am I eating? Where am I spending my days like I just tried to get started off at a very high level and then start to get very, very specific with that. And that's how I really tune into what I want.


You know, when it comes to a lot of the path to I guess creating freedom for ourselves freedom and a big, heavy quote there too. If you know it could be starting your own business or freelancing or doing something a little bit unconventional and out of the box.


Like this is a special reminder for entrepreneurs that this is all about creating a life that you want, that is going to support the way you wake up every day and how you feel.


You know where we shouldn't have to be grinding so hard or not even enjoying ourselves. So ask yourself that question if I had everything in my life ever wanted, what would that look like and work backwards from there.



[7:14] VL: Mmm that is a very deep question. And I've done something similar like that before, and I like how you're like get really detailed with it and break it down and just keep that kind of free flow journaling exercise.


And how cool would that be to look back on, if you're doing it again in the future?!


Oh, I did get the motorcycle or Oh, I do want to go to the beach every day. It would be so fun! So how often are you doing something like this?


RK: I would say for me personally, I kind of tune into that question, maybe one to three times a year. Typically in, you know, December, January sort of thing.


That's when I start to really reflect on that I start to think about what my goals are, you know, and I try to make sure that like some of the goals that I have for myself for a full year are things that I can actually check off as opposed to something a little bit more emotional, like, for example, my goals for two big goals or for 2021. And I wrote them in the front of my notebook. I wrote them on my mirror, I just had them everywhere. I saw and one of them was to get a motorcycle and get my license. And then one of them was also like to share from the heart weekly. So it's obviously a lot easier to check off a motorcycle like okay, I studied for the thing I do the thing I get it, sharing from the heart weekly is a little bit wishy washy, like how do I actually quantify that? So there's so many different ways to kind of think about your goals and what you want to achieve. So I would say sharing from the heart weekly was more of like a reminder for myself on a regular basis and then you know I got a motorcycle, it was something I actually want to do and I know I can achieve it and that's something you can get like a big check mark, after.


VL: Yeah, it almost feels like the share from the heart weekly would be an ongoing habit. And I love those kinds of goals too, because I find that they really leave room for creativity, like what does sharing for the heart feel like for me today? Or what does that look like for me this week? And sometimes what happens is because we've already created an intention, and then we start to build that habit out, it does actually become a little more automated and we're like, oh, what can I do this week? Wait a second. I was on a podcast this week where I shared openly about this journey of mine and they're like, Oh, I already did the thing. And that's a really cool experience too. And then just as I had a mentor, I would add to that, not only writing the goal out in your journal but also learning like each week of how you show up that way. because I think looking back on that too and seeing that proof like obviously the motorcycle is the proof that you've done it and yeah, you can check it off but you can check off the the more emotional goal as well.


And you could probably do, or take action on it a little quicker than maybe just like, I'm gonna buy motorcycles today.


RK: So true, obviously, like going after the motorcycle was quite a process too. Although I will say within a week of getting my license that I bought a motorcycle. I wasn't planning on doing that right away. but I love that. So it's like adding some proof to the thing I actually did. you know, that really ties into a big piece that I talk about a lot about.


Overcoming imposter syndrome and self doubt is regularly celebrating our wins. This is not just like being stuck to like there is actual science behind and obviously you definitely know this alreadymVal, but like when we actually recognize our accomplishments big or small. It's actually helping rewire neurons in our brain so that anytime other hardships or bigger roadblocks in our way, we're ready realizing that we can, we're recognizing that we can accomplish whatever task is in front of us. 


[11:24] VL: 100% I'm so glad you said that because yesterday I had a meeting with my coach and she was like, let's do an inventory of all your fears around this new project you're doing and I was like, Okay, question. I was like, Okay, so, pen to paper. Let's write it down. So I was like, okay, and then I wrote like, I'm feeling overwhelmed. I'm feeling nervous. What if this what if that and as I was writing it, I mean, I've done a lot of this work already. I'm doing my coaching certification, everything but sometimes you need to have a conversation with another person who doesn't have that same emotional tie to what's happening. But as I was going through it, I'm like, I already have proof that none of these things are true for me. And I felt I was sort of laughing when I was writing these fears down like no, these aren't real. These are just, you know, staying small. And it's funny because part of us like that imposter syndrome keeps us where we are. But one of our biggest fears might be to stay exactly where we are. Right. Well, I know that people listening to this podcast probably felt that way or would agree. So yeah, I love that.


That practice that I did and how it ties into that proof that we were talking about with proof towards your goal proof to building confidence for taking leaps and making changes.


RK: You know, this really reminds me of this conversation I was having with somebody else the other day:


It's funny like this theme has really come up a lot this week about fears and having the proof. So if you're looking for ways to kind of combat your fears or you know kind of like rewrite it and like look for like tangible like how do I actually conquer that is like looking at like the the nice notes like a friend has sent you or look at testimonials you've received so like you're saying like with these fears that you had, you already have the proof that all of these things are not true. And I love this reminder somebody shared with me. It was you know, these negative thoughts. A lot of the time they're not even your own thoughts. They're probably a third grade teacher. Who said something that just stuck in your brain a certain way, but it's not actually your true belief. It's just hanging out there. And I thought like, when somebody said that to me that way, it just, it just kind of clicked for me.


We all battle with our own versions of self doubt and imposter syndrome, and there's so many different ways we can work towards getting rid of it.


VL: Yeah, that's a great reminder. How many times have I heard something? I'm like, Ooh, yeah, that feels good on me. You really like it, but no, it doesn't.


Listening to other people's fears and projections I can really without creating a healthy boundary or without recognizing that hey, this is no this is not minor. It's no longer my story and really being able to release it. So yeah, those are some great practices.


Okay, let's jump back to working out our numbers because there's kind of a two part thing. So we have our goal, and we are starting to build that proof toward that goal. Part of the process is looking at the numbers, a lot of our goals, I will admit that a lot of my goals are quantifiable, or they do have to do with money or something where I need to, I mean, my business just in general, I need to be looking at my bank statement, bank statements, what's coming in what's coming out. So where do we start with this? You said you do this weekly? Is there a little ritual that you can walk us through and how you do it? 


[15:15] RK: I wish I could say I have a ritual, but it's like, not very exciting. Once upon a time I used to play like the money playlist that was created by a wonderful woman in our community named Lisa Zamparo her company is called the The Wellth Company.


And we're the kind of today and I actually like to light a candle at the same time as like, Okay, I'm going to you know, this is the time when I'm actually focusing on my numbers. Now, for me, it's a little bit more habitual, and I just kind of go in and I run through it. I have everything set up in QuickBooks for us, but I think for a lot of people starting out, it's a matter of just printing off your bank statements, or downloading them on PDF. Let's keep it eco friendly.


And reviewing okay, what like, where's the money going out? Where's the money coming in?


Who is who owes me were like, do I need to follow up with those people?


And then I also review always, and the reason I do it weekly, too. Is just like the nature of my particular business. I think at least a bare minimum is to do it on a monthly basis. There is nothing worse and I see this all the time in my community. It's the months leading up to tax season and everyone is like I've got a shoebox of receipts and I don't know what to do and I'm chasing everybody for invoices. I get emails all the time. Hey, can I have my invoices for the past year? And I'm like, You got to save those right when you get those emails because it is so important to have that. What else was I gonna say on this topic?


Oh, shoot the thought just last month. It just escaped my brain. But if I remember, I'll bring it back.


VL: Sounds good. Yeah, I think it's so important to have more to get into the practice of looking at your numbers and especially like I do for myself, I do it monthly but then I might glancing at it. Maybe more often than that, and looking at like, where what category each of those expenses are at because one time I noticed that I was spending so much money at coffee shops and like why we spend so much money on coffee shops, like what am I doing? And what I noticed is that I was having meetings with people at coffee shops and personal meetings, work meetings, whatever it was, but we would always go somewhere like that. And I thought no, I can't. I can't be spending like this is an obscene amount of money to spend on coffee. So I changed it into walking meetings which served another goal that I had which was more movement. So when people asked me , I said Okay great. Let's go for a walk and it was like if you're not willing to go for a walk they are jumping on the phone and I'm going to be walking while that.


RK: I would add that like I love that you shifted that to walking meetings, but I would also just kind of jump on the coffee thing. This is something that this amazing culture, her name is Rachel Rodgers, really talked about because we know a lot of people, our goals, our financial goals, too. And what Rachael Rodgers says is like, listen, you're not gonna get rich by cutting the amount of lattes that you have. So I think it's still important to remember that we're allowed to enjoy the things that we really want to but I think it's great to like yeah, when you're looking at your numbers and like I'm spending a lot of time out for coffee do I need to spend all that can I cut it in half? can I eliminate once a week, you know, whatever it is and shift up that goal. 


I remembered my thoughts from earlier too, which was when it came to like, really reviewing my expenses. What I realized was a huge thing, like the past four plus years of my business is that a lot of my expenses went to professional development. And some of it is fantastic. But if I were to do everything over again, I realized one huge thing, and it's that I wish I believed in myself more because a lot of the time I sought out professional development because I thought it was going to solve the problem that I was having. I was like here, take my money. Give me all the answers, and I'll do what you tell me to do. But at the end of the day, the bigger problem was that I didn't actually truly believe in myself. And the proof was that I spent a lot of money there and I wasn't making a return on the investment either. So my reminder to everybody who's listening is when you are going after big goals and shifting up things in your life.


When you're imagining this when you're truly imagining, okay, what would my life look like if I had everything I want as part of that picture? Is there a price tag on it that you need to invest in X, Y, and Z? Or is it in your vision? Do you really have everything you already need to go after that? And I'm not discrediting all these amazing programs that are out there. Don't get me wrong. I've learned so much in the past couple of years. But truly, I've had a lot of the solutions already deep within me.


[20:39] VL: Yes, I feel like there's a mic drop right here. Because that is so important about something that I was actually going to ask you to be there. Is there something that we don't usually see, or notice when we're looking at our numbers, and it really is like that hidden? Hey, I'm paying for this or I'm investing in something like this, but is it actually supporting me? And I say this a lot because this is I mean, we've had over 150 episodes of the podcast, and it has a lot to do with personal development habits have a lot to do with personal growth and becoming the best version of yourself and you can listen to every single one of these episodes and you can absorb all the information. But if you aren't taking action, then you're not going to see results and that has a lot to do with mindset. So I'm so glad that you shared that because that is something that a lot of people, you know, unfortunately aren't really willing to get into. 


Because it's not easy. And I raised my hand. I get that it's not easy, but I promise on the other end of it. It is so worth it. It is so worth it to believe in yourself. It is so worth it to go after your dreams and your goals and to take that really scary action. and for some people looking at your numbers can be a little bit scary, right A lot of us avoid this, this practice but doing it can be really powerful. 


There was one thing you shared that we didn't dive into yet just maybe clarify what our “Oh Shit Fund?”


RK: Oh I love that. I love that you're asking, Oh shit like something horrible has happened Oh shit I need to move out of my place Oh shit there's a pandemic and all of a sudden my entire business model doesn't make sense anymore You know On shit I bought shoes.


I really really wanted and now things have gone a little bit awry. You know it is so important to be saving and investing.


But you know having that money there as a rainy day is like something bad has happened and we need to support ourselves. That's what it's all about. 


VL: For sure for our emergency fund when we're like oh shit, I love it. I love that you call it that.


Yeah, well, this has been really powerful and really transformative and in my mind I feel like I needed a lot of these reminders. And actually, it's that time of the month for me where I need to look at my own numbers. So this is perfect, perfect timing. Before we get into the final segment of the show, I wanted to ask you, is there something that hasn't been said today that you really wanted to share?


RK: I love that you asked that question because it kind of popped in my mind just as you're talking. 


So, you know, I was just kind of sharing about like, we've got that big vision. We're checking in with our numbers on a regular basis. We're kind of starting to develop a little bit of that recipe. I would say the other big thing that is truly important to going after our big goals and kind of living life on our own terms is really having a community that is going to support us and it's not just our friends and our families. Are these people who are going to support us in our business? And we can find community in all shapes and forms. You know whether that's on a, a volleyball team that you're a part of whether you do a regular pottery class, you're part of a gardening group, or you're part of a business community, such as the Gacha done club, whatever it may be, it's so important to have people who believe in your goals and your dreams. And they don't just believe in your goals and your dreams because they like you but because they like the actual mission and the vision that you're going after. as well. There are hundreds of studies that prove that when you vocalize your goal and you're supported in actual communities, your odds of achieving it are so much higher. So I really couldn't, couldn't reiterate more how important a community is and your overall well being and your happiness and your success of achieving goals.


VL: And I shared this with Rachel too, but I was part of the she. You also have a monthly challenge in 2020 and I think I was there for two or maybe three months. But it was like me again, I'm feeling a little bit emotional about it. It was the one thing that really gave me purpose during a time where I really felt like I had lost my purpose and I didn't have a plan and I didn't have people sort of I wasn't surrounded by anybody because of the circumstances and being able to meet this new group of people who were going through maybe something similar or at least could understand where I was at, and then also kind of mirror for me the possibility of what I could do and the things that I could get done, and the things that I could create and believing in me.


So many things changed for me that year. And again, like the one thing that really kept me positive and pushing forward and trying different things and getting out of my comfort zone and like the most random and the biggest, most uncomfortable ways was that group it was like community and tribe just ever grateful. you can use this clip as a testimonial for your community.


Where can we find you, follow you, and support your business?

RK: WEBSITE | http://www.makelemonade.ca

INSTAGRAM | @makelemonadeco

The way you can support me is that if you are a small business owner or do you know a small business owner and you feel like they would suck if they would benefit from being part of an awesome entrepreneurial community then send them my way. Another way that you can support is at some point in 2022 I will be alerted to launching some merch, which will be a super fun and exciting way to connect with the community and beyond. So those are the two ways you can Yeah, you can you can join me on the internet


[27:23] RAPID FIRE ROUND

1. What are you currently reading? OR Favourite book?

The Radar Girls

It's I got it from my birthday. It's a book about a woman in Hawaii at its at it was just when there was the attack on Pearl Harbor. And these women were recruited to be part of like a secret operation.


Anyways, it's it's really great some something I really talk about to you is that I read a lot of fiction. I love personal and professional development books, but anything with a plot is really where the sweet spot is for me. So this one I'm pretty sure it's called the radar girls.


2. What do you love most about being a woman?

Oh, that's an interesting question. What do I love most about being a woman you know, like, obviously, there's a lot of differences between between men and women and everything in between.


I don't know like I've never really thought about like, this is what I love most about being I just think of myself as me like I'm I'm just me.


And I don't think that because I'm a woman. That's what makes me, me!


Yeah, I've never really thought about it that way. Or if I have like, I've always had a hard time answering it like I like just being me.


3. What does “empowerment” mean to you?

Empowerment to me, I think is is just like feeling confident or not even competent, but like just feeling like on the precipice of being able to go after things that I want, wherever they may be. I think competence is like a really nice cherry on top. But the truth is a lot of the time when we go after the things we want. We're scared shitless can totally agree with that.


4. What are you currently working toward?

Am I currently working for you know, when it's so simple, like I'm always just working towards finding joy. And like my own personal mission is to just find joy daily. That's it.


VL: Thank you so much again for taking the time today. This has been an outstanding conversation. I wasn't expecting anything last but I'm always blown away by your speaking and your knowledge and your wisdom. So I really appreciate you taking the time to share it with us. Thank you so much. This was this was like really soul filling. So thank you so much, Val. It was great. Good. I'm so glad that you felt that way. And I before I let you go. I just wanted to say thank you so much again for creating the community that you have and for growing it and bringing people together in this really beautiful and unique way. and super supportive way as you said, you are appreciated by myself and so many other people and I really, really, really want to emphasize that to you before before you go. so thank you so much for changing my life and changing a lot of people's lives.


RK: Well you're just gonna make me cry. Thank you.

 

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E157: Healthy Holiday Habits
 
 

E157: Healthy Holiday Habits

Nine healthy holiday habits to support you in having a smoother, more meaningful holiday season…


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Welcome back to the Women’s Empowerment Podcast! If you’re listening to this episode as it comes out, it is the first of December and we are headed into the holiday season! Don’t worry if you’re listening to this after, or long before the next holiday season, there are tips for keeping up with your healthy habits, before and after the holidays. 


Full disclosure: I am more of a Halloween person than I am a Christmas person. If you know you know, am I right?


I LIKE the holidays, but if I’m being honest, I get more excited about halloween. You see, something I always notice during the winter holidays is the added stress of all the events, gift giving, change of season, goal setting, and all the things around this time of year. 


All that being said, I wouldn’t be a great Healthy Habit Mentor if I didn’t have key practices to share with you to support you in a smoother, more meaningful holiday season. So in today’s episode I am sharing simple, practical habits to keep you feeling healthy over the holidays.


As I share these different practices, I’d like you to notice which of them really excite you. Which of the habits are you already practicing? Which habits can you modify to suit your goals and lifestyle the best? As with many of my podcast episodes I share practical takeaways. These are often very general, with some options or tips to elevate the suggestions that I share. Since it’s a podcast I can only speak from my experiences and it doesn’t leave room for customization for you - so this is where YOU will need to put in the effort and creativity.


When I work with my one on one clients, we are able to dig deeper into the goals and specific lifestyle to create customized versions of general habits. Since you and I are not face-to-face together right now, take a moment to think of a feeling that you would like to feel/embody over the holidays. Knowing how you want to feel will be the basis for each of your own healthy holiday habits. The feeling word is what changes each of these habits for each of the listeners. Let’s use three feeling words as examples of how to tweak each of the habits today. These three words will be: Calm, Excited, and Connection. If your word is different from these, that’s okay, the practice still applies to you!


I’ve also decided to organize this episode into different types of habits including: nutrition, physical health, and mindest.


Let’s get started!

[3:33] Healthy Holiday Nutrition Habits

I am a big foodie! I love trying new recipes, I love cooking (most of the time), and I love eating food! The holiday season typically involves lots of meals, and eating different foods, or eating more than we usually do. Please note that this NOT one of those podcasts that encourages calorie counting or any of that BS! I am here to empower you to connect to your body and fuel it with what makes you feel good. I am also an advocate for whole, healthy foods because they are delicious and my body feels amazing when I eat quality meats, roasted veggies, and delicious fruits! I also enjoy cookies and brownies and a good half baked ben and jerry’s ice cream even though my body doesn’t feel as good after I eat them haha 


I digress! Here are my suggestions for Healthy Holiday Nutrition Habits:

1. Prioritize hydration. The formula for how much water you need to drink is half your bodyweight in pounds, in ounces of water. That means if you weigh 130 lbs, you need to drink 65 ounces of water or 8.5 cups of water daily. 


When you’re visiting others over the holidays, bring a water bottle with you. If you’re hosting, keep your water bottle full and nearby so you can take sips throughout the day and while prepping for your guests. If you aren’t used to drinking that much water then yes, you’ll probably have to use the bathroom more often - trust me it’s worth it.


I bring my water bottle with me everywhere! Early in 2021 I invested in a bluetooth water bottle called Hidrate Spark - I am OBSESSED! Yes, compared to most water bottles it is expensive, but I’m using it every single day, and I’ve stayed on track with my water intake for almost a year solely because of this water bottle. It has a rechargeable scale in it that connects via bluetooth to an app on my phone and tracks my daily water intake. It also has optional notifications on your phone, and a glow feature on the bottle (with different colour options) that remind me to drink when I’m behind on my goal. I’m not even kidding this is a GAME CHANGER. I feel immensely better physically and mentally because I am prioritizing hydration daily; not just over the holidays.


2. The second habit is a bit of an add on to the first one, drink a glass of water for every glass of alcohol, if you’re drinking alcohol that is, if not this also applies to caffeinated beverages too.


Alcohol and caffeine are dehydrating, and often very sugary. Avoid dehydration and sugar crashes by alternating alcohol and caffeine with a glass of water.


3. Eat slowly. Enjoy the food you’re eating, take time to taste the delicious meals you or your loved ones have thoughtfully prepared! On a digestion note, it takes our brain 20 minutes to know that our tummy is full so slow down to enjoy the food, and to recognize when your body has had enough. You can always go back for seconds! I usually take a little bit of everything and try it all before going back and choosing my favourite things or the foods that make me feel the best after eating. You don’t have to miss out on all the goodies.


4. Take your vitamins and your greens! There are some delicious vegetables in season this time of year in Ontario, Canada such as: apples, pears, beets, cabbage, carrots, eggplant, fennel, leeks, mushrooms, green/red/yellow onions, potatoes, rutabaga, spinach, squash, field tomatoes, and turnips. YUM!


Incorporating seasonal vegetables into your meals is important because these fruits and veggies will have the most nutrients in your area and also happen to be very grounding vegetables to help you stay balanced during this time of year - more on this later.


Since a lot of greens are not in season, my new habit this December is to drink a greens drink every day. My favourite greens powder is called SUBI and the one I like is peach flavoured. I get it on amazon.


You’ll also want to connect with your holistic nutritionist or health care provider to share the best vitamins for you and your body, however vitamin C and D are wonderful to supplement this time of year - especially if you’re in Canada where we get less sunshine in the winter.


Here’s how to apply these habits year-round: nutrition is part of our everyday health and wellness. Prioritizing hydration, choosing healthy, whole foods can be beneficial for year round without a doubt!


Feeling calm: If you’re hosting, take the stress out of holiday meals by planning dishes in advance, asking for help with setting up, shopping or cooking, OR choose a catering company that makes delicious healthy meals for everyone to enjoy.


If you’re attending a lot of events, prepare healthy whole foods during the week and bring your water bottle out with you - no one says anything to me when I have a water bottle it’s no big deal.


Feeling excited: Get excited about all the yummy foods you can cook, or try this season. Google search seasonal vegetables in your area and get creative with recipes you can try and serve. 


Take your time enjoying each meal, each bite and savour the moments with friends and family. 


Feeling Connection: Focus on the time with your loved ones versus the food at the event. Share your new healthy habits with your friends and family and maybe create a game or healthy competition for drinking water during the event. 


Enjoy the moments around the dinner table. Discuss flavours, or share recipes you’ve found with friends and family.


Our next section is all about 

[10:20] Physical Healthy Holiday Habits

The holiday season creates a lot of “go-go-go!” energy. So many things are happening, we’re booking our calendars and daily routines are changing often. With more events and shopping to do it can be challenging to stick to our biological clocks and natural rhythms - but we can still make it work!


Habit number 5. Make time for movement. I always say that a body in motion stays in motion. During the holidays you want to be moving your body mindfully and intentionally, not just rushing around shopping and event hopping and what not. If you don’t already have a movement practice or exercise routine, now is a great time to start one. Yes I know you are busy, who isn’t!? I also know that you will feel so much better when you make time for movement every day. It could be a 45 minute strength training session, a 60 minute pilates class, or a 10 minute stretch at home. 


If you’re travelling over the holidays, pull up your workout app or a YouTube video to keep you motivated to workout while away. It doesn’t have to be super intense to have an impact on your body and mind.

In episode 54 I shared my #1 Secret for Keeping Up with Fitness While Travelling,


Exercise also helps keep things moving inside our bodies, especially when we’re eating more or when we’re eating foods that are slower to digest. Daily movement boosts digestion and endorphins, you’ll have more energy and excitement for the busy day ahead. 


6. Get enough sleep. The changes to your schedule can really throw off the natural rhythms and cycles in our bodies including our hormones, productivity, and more. My rule of thumb is going to bed the same day you woke up. A client shared this with me once during a pilates class and it really stuck with me. It makes a HUGE difference when I go to bed before midnight, even if it’s 11:50pm.


If you’re interested in learning more about our body’s chronology and natural cycles, check out the book: The Power of When (kindle edition)

Application for year-round: Just like our nutrition, physical health is a foundational part of our healthy lifestyle. It’s these types of non-negotiable habits that set us up for success before, during, and after the holidays. Supporting our bodies' natural cycles, getting quality sleep, and sweating/moving daily make the body feel good inside and out.  


Feeling calm: Choose workouts that support this feeling such as yoga, mindful stretching, tai chi, etc. Create an evening routine that helps you transition from busy days to relaxing evenings to better prepare you for quality sleep.


Feeling excited: Mix up your workout routine to something more fresh, or try something new! 


Feeling Connection: To connect more to self, use the evening as a wind-down time to journal and reflect on the day. When I’m weight training I’m not just working out my physical body. This is an important part of the day that is just for me. It’s a time that helps me deepen the connection with myself and my body. That feeling of connection can be the time you’ve made for you and your relationship with yourself, or others. 


If you want a deeper connection with others, invite friends to train with you, or meet at a pilates class or workout class together. You can always grab a coffee after or maybe do some holiday shopping post-workout.


Our final section of today’s episode is all about 

[14:28] Healthy Holiday Mindset Habits

If there is one thing I want you to take away from today’s episode it’s that your mind is SO POWERFUL and will determine how your holiday, and your life experience is going to go for you. I feel like this topic deserves its own episode, for the sake of staying on topic/theme I’ll discuss the key points. Having a balanced mindset will allow you to go out and have a great time this holiday season.


Habit 7. Make time for self-care. This can be a very busy time of year. As you get invited to more events and gatherings, remember to schedule in time for yourself, and the activities or interests that support filling your cup. Do you enjoy reading, bubble baths, massages, coffee dates with friends, getting a blowout or a pedicure? Schedule those into your calendar. I’ve recently started stretching with my yoga blocks to help me with my posture and I’ll put on music or an episode of Sinfeld and just lay there on the floor. It’s me time and I love it. You don’t even have to do anything during your self-care time, you can block it off for white space. 


8. Practice mindfulness. Another really important piece of a healthy and supportive mindset is mindfulness. I mentioned it briefly when we were talking about nutrition, but it also applies to other areas of our life and the holidays. Of course everyone wants to be able to buy gifts for their loved ones, but that doesn’t mean going into debt or overspending to prove that you care about others. It isn’t worth the stress, guilt, or resentment this often leads to. Be mindful when you’re eating, shopping, accepting invitations, and in the day-to-day commitments this holiday season.


Which leads me to our final habit 9. Create healthy boundaries. What I mean by this is being able to say “no” when you mean no. Not overbooking yourself. Not overwhelming yourself with all of the things going on in this short amount of time. You can do anything, just not everything and that’s okay.

Some other Women’s Empowerment Podcast episodes on boundaries:

E107: The Holidays are the Boundaries Olympics

E34: 7 Things You Must Do When Creating Healthy Boundaries


Application for year-round: Whether you are headed into the holiday season or not, you can practice these mindset habits. Make self care, mindfulness, and boundaries a part of your schedule and lifestyle. One thing I do is look at my monthly calendar and see how many events or commitments I’m saying yes to in a month. If I have something every weekend that’s usually too much. If I’m doubling up on events or commitments on the same day in different cities, also too much. If for some reason I “HAVE TO” do a lot in a short amount of time I will schedule self care or white space time before and after busy days. And I will also ask for help when I need it. Delegating comes in handy all year round.


Feeling calm: If feeling calm is your goal, only say yes to events with the people who support this feeling. If your family stresses you out, perhaps you skip an event with them, or limit the amount of time you’re spending with the groups of people that overwhelm you. 


Feeling excited: Seeing your friends and family, dressing up, event invitations might really excite you, the key is not to get overwhelmed with everything going on. Before saying yes to an event ask yourself “does this event excite me? Or Do I want to go to this event?” and if the answer lights you up, then go for it! If something isn’t exciting you, it’s not for you. Staying consistent with your mindset practice can really help you deepen the connection with yourself to truly understand what excites you and what doesn’t.


Feeling Connection: Place as much emphasis on quality connections with people around you. Connect with activities together other than eating such as DIY gifts, playing games, and building relationships with meaningful conversations.



So there you have it! Nine healthy holiday habits to support you in having a smoother, more meaningful holiday season. I would LOVE to know what holiday habits are you practicing this year? Let’s connect on instagram you can find me @vallavignelife


If you’re listening and implementing the actionable habits we talked about today on the show, take a screenshot of this episode and tag me in your instagram stories @vallavignelife so I can see what is impacting you and how you are taking action! I want to cheer you on with your healthy habits.

 

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E156: 6 Productivity Solutions You Need to Know
 
 

E156: 6 Productivity Solutions You Need to Know

Creative productivity solutions to help you create more time for YOU and the things that bring you joy…


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[00:28] Welcome back to the Women’s Empowerment Podcast - I really want to take this moment to say thank you so much for listening to this show. I know that there are millions of podcasts out there and the fact that you and I are here together means the world to me. I am so grateful for you listening to the show and for your support with this podcast. 


If you’re new to this show, welcome! My name is Valerie and I am a Healthy Habit Mentor and business owner. Each episode of the Women’s Empowerment Podcast is created to help you become the best version of yourself through conversations and mini trainings on health, wealth, and happiness.


For today’s episode, I’m sharing some of my best practices and tips for productivity, but before we dive into the methods I will share with you today, I want to highlight a very important point. The whole point of being more productive is so that you can have more time for yourself, not more time to do more work. 


I see this all the time, and I do it myself. I have a really productive day and I finish the tasks that need to be done earlier than I thought, and what do I do with the remaining time? I do more work *facepalm* I’m shaking my head right now. This “free time” is for YOU and the things that bring you joy!


Play in nature, admire your plants, paint, stretch, go to a yoga class, lay on the couch and do nothing, try a new recipe, visit a local store you love, spend time with friends and family, journal, plan your dream vacation, literally anything that brings you joy that isn’t also work or part of your task or to do list. 


Now that that is clear and out of the way, let’s discuss productivity. When someone is being productive they are usually creating or producing large amounts of something. 


Consider a time where you felt you were being productive. What were you doing? Where were you? Who were you with? The answers to these questions will be very helpful in understanding the best practices for you.


You see, when it comes to productivity there are many different methods and schools of thought. So for today, I want to share with you what has worked best for me in my own experience, and in the experience of the people I have worked with to get the most done, in the least amount of time so that we have more free time to do the things that bring us joy.


If you’ve listened to this show before, or if you’ve ever worked with me you will know that I like to present creative solutions. I’m all about using what we have, or trying things we’ve done before with an innovative twist! So although some of these solutions might not seem entirely new to you, let’s see if we can try them in a way you might not have considered yet. 


[3:35] Solution Number One: Optimize Your Environment

I’m sure you would agree that writing a 24 page essay is a lot harder to do laying poolside while your friends splash around than if you were writing it at a desk at the library. 


For months I tried to work from my bed or couch with my laptop and it only led to me wasting more time trying to get comfortable, or cleaning up spills from trying to balance smoothies on top of pillows. 


Your environment affects your productivity. Consider the task at hand, and the best place for you to be to get it done. 


I’m not saying I never work from my bed, but I certainly don’t get as much done there. When describing your own experiences with productivity you might use the phrase “I’m in the zone” and although you might also be referring to your mental state, I would bet that your physical outer environment is also playing a role here.


Sunshine and natural lighting literally LIGHT ME UP! I know that I function best in the morning and early afternoon. Which means I’m going to schedule deep work during these times.


The office space I work in allows beautiful natural light to come in so I also have plants in this room. The life of the plants inspires me to work without being too much of a distraction. 


My chair is comfortable, but unlike my bed or the couch, it’s not comfortable enough for me to sleep on. 


Here are some tips for optimizing your own environment: 

  • Have a dedicated workspace

  • Keep the environment neat and tidy 

  • Make sure whatever tools or items you need for work are easily available to you in one place so that you don’t have to search around your home or office for the things you need to get things done

  • Make the space sacred with a few inspiring pieces like lighting, plants, special photos, crystals, essential oils, etc.

  • Communicate to your family that while you are in this space you are working and need not be interrupted during that time - sometimes this takes a few reminders



[6:02] Solution Number Two: Use a Visual Planner

Seeing your day, your week, and your month at a glance is incredibly beneficial, especially to anyone with a lot of commitments - that’s everyone right?


Your visual planner can be physical or electronic, however in my experience I will definitely say that the electronic planner is the one I’ve had the most success with. It’s organized and colour-coded, it’s incredibly easy to move meetings or events around, and I like that I can share/invite people to the event and they have all the links, details, and updates they need accessible to them. I would go as far as to say the most successful people I know have a very organized and visual planner.


Your planner should show you the day, week, and month at a glance. With an electronic calendar switching between these views is seamless and I don’t have to transfer information to individual pages.


I also sometimes use a physical planner. I love the creative piece to this with doodling and using different highlighters for colours and what not. I find the physical planner is great for content planning, or goal mapping in your life and business. There is also something really powerful about putting pen to paper and getting both the right and left sides of your brain working at the same time.


However, for the day-to-day… my iCalendar is where it’s at!


Here are a few different ways I use my visual electronic calendar:


Colour-coding: blue is for when I’m teaching at the studio or doing studio work. Green is for errands or appointments like visits to the dentist or when I have to pick up dry cleaning, etc. Yellow is for when I’m working with my coach or when I’m doing courses/personal development. Pink is for my workouts or movement practices, Red is for things I am doing at home, washing my hair, plant care things. Hot pink is for my online business, or when I’m working on my business: i.e. content creation, email marketing, podcasting, meetings, etc.


I can see all the colours at once or I can choose to see only one or two colours and see how that particular schedule is.


The colour-coding keeps me organized, but more importantly it helps me with Time Blocking.


Time blocking is your new favourite time management method. If you aren’t already doing this… please keep listening to this episode! Essentially you are dedicating a certain amount of time to specific work or tasks that need to get done. To make time blocking most effective you will want to block your calendar out in advance so that you know what you’re doing for the day/week ahead.


Start by looking at your to-do list and block out the specific times for your most important tasks. Keep in mind how long you think this task might take you, and also the deadline for the work that needs to get done. With the electronic calendar, you can time block the space and say something like “Studio Admin” and in the notes section of this event include more detail such as: emails, voicemails, new client bookings, appointment confirmations. That way when the time comes to do this specific task, you know where to start and what needs to get done.


Time blocking also helps us avoid multitasking. Which is a huge productivity killer. That being said, when time blocking, including space for breaks or for “catch up time” these are usually Friday mornings for me to wrap up the week before the weekend and get things done that I didn’t get to during the week.


If possible, try batching the same work into the same days so that your schedule becomes more habitual each week. As an example, my podcasting time is monday morning, and studio admin time is monday afternoon. Since my Monday through Thursdays are very busy with back to back work, I keep Thursday afternoons open for extra self-care or time with friends. 


When you’re batching work this can also mean:

  • Writing out a months worth of emails for your email marketing

  • Planning the week’s worth of content for social media 

  • Organizing or planning out the week’s meals/grocery list

  • Since we’re approaching the holidays, you could batch shop for your presents one day, and the next day you’re batch wrapping. So that you’re not jumping between shopping/wrapping/etc.


A similar practice to batching is creating a theme for your day.


The theme for the days is the same every week. For me, Sundays are my weekly prep day. That means grocery shopping, meal prepping, schedule/calendar organizing, writing out all of the tasks/to-dos. 


If you’re like me and work from a few different places, you can also theme your days with the actual location you are in. For example, on Tuesdays and Thursdays I’m at the studio in the morning. The studio is in Burlington so on those days I will run any errands in that city vs going “out of my way” on the days when I’m not already there.


Theme days can also look like:

  • Meeting on Mondays + Wednesdays

  • Client work on Tuesdays + Thursdays

  • CEO Day on Fridays


Your themes will be dependent on what your day-to-day work looks like, and what you’ve got going on. Also for theme days, these might change for you and perhaps you have theme weeks? Or theme half days like I do!


Batch tasks that are similar so you take time to get into the flow/focused on this specific thing, or similar in physical location if you need to run errands or take meetings.


Theme days of the week or chunks of your day for certain areas of your life/business.


These help save time, and keep you in the zone to stay focused and on task.


[12:37] Solution Number Three: Less is More

I can’t think of anything more detrimental than a massive overwhelming to do list. I cringe thinking of it. I was definitely the person who wrote out crazy to-do lists with tons of items and things that needed to get done, and then I would spend more time stressing over the list vs actually taking action on anything on the list.


To support you in getting the things done, try this 3-part practice:


Step One: Write out everything you have to do into one big master list


Step Two: Eliminate, delegate, automate.

Go through the list and decide what you can eliminate. Do you actually have to do every single item? What can you remove from the list? 


Then go through the list and see what you can delegate? This is a great time to ask for help. Who could do this task, and better yet who could do it better than you?


Lastly, what on the list can you automate? Is there an automated system you can build out in your business to save you time? This could be an autoresponder email, or perhaps your voicemail greeting leaves specific instructions for people calling you. Maybe you subscribe to a weekly grocery delivery or meal prep service.


Step Three: The 3-5 Rule

This is something I created… oh gosh YEARS AGO! You’ve filtered out your massive list with things that only you can do or that have to get done by you. 


Now organize each of the things into mini lists of 3 to 5 things you can do each day. Depending on how long the task takes you can choose 1-3 things for the day. These will be like mini to-do lists that you can organize into each day of the week. 


Your goal is to complete 3-5 things, and that’s it. This eliminates overwhelm, which frees up time and energy to get more done.


So decide what ONE big task/goal you have for that day, or THREE medium goals, or FIVE smaller attainable goals.


I think where I see this challenge the most is when there are a lot of meetings in a day, and when those meetings are unproductive. Make meetings productive: solve problems in these times. Something I learned a lot in my yoga and pilates business is when creating a class there is a structured opening and closing. In my classes they’re about 5-7 minutes and they are the same for every class. Having this for the meetings can be helpful in the clarity of what you’re working on, the problem that needs solving and closing the meeting with next steps.



[15:43] Solution Number Four: Master Your Transitions

I have a few previous podcast episodes on productivity and one of them is all about mastering transitions. 


More Episodes on Productivity:

E07: Mastering Transitions

E115: Mastering Your To Do List

E125: Powerful Productivity Practices

E121: How to Ask Powerful Yes or No Questions to Connect You to Your Intuition

E127: 6 Procrastination Stuck Spots and How to Overcome Them


Transitions are the moments between activities, circumstances, and/or interactions throughout the day. These are especially helpful if you don’t have themed days, or when you need to switch tasks often. Regardless of how your calendar is set up, you will be transitioning often in your day.


Take a look at your calendar now, and see how often the colour-coding changes, or how many tasks and meetings and appointments you have coming up. How do you usually move to the next task?


You might not have even considered it before, and that’s okay. Use these little spaces throughout the day to take a breath, to mindfully shift gears. Any time you’re interacting with a new person or new group of people, you want to reset your energy to that person.


If you are interacting with people often then you’ll want to implement regular breaks to ALLOW the space to reset your energy. This goes for introverts and extroverts too.


I find transitions the most important when you’re going from work to home. If you work from home this transition still applies to you, and maybe even more so. Implementing mindful transitions allows you to separate different activities and interactions and keep you focused on the task and hand and in the present moment.



[17:58] Solution Number Five: Constructive Procrastination

I am what one would call a procrastinator. I actually wrote a speech on procrastination in grade 5, and some of my classmates still bring it up. I am also the kind of person who can’t sit still, is not great at relaxing, and hates being unproductive.


So I’ve started to master the art of constructive procrastination. This is when you avoid the work you “should” be doing and fill the time tackling the list of all the other things that need to get done. 


Artful mastery comes when you are procrastinating multiple tasks and you do the things you’ve been avoiding in the past, only to avoid something more immediate. I’ll admit it’s not the BEST practice but it can really work in your favour. 


Here are some tips to support this:

  • Keep your master task list handy for times when you’re avoiding work or certain projects

  • Set a timer or boundary for how long you can procrastinate for - sounds oxymoronic but if you can do 3 little things or work on something else for 1 hour THEN you can dive right into the thing you’ve been avoiding 

  • Complete the tasks that might help you get the avoiding task done. For example, if the project for work is organizing a massive event, consider what needs to get done before the project can start. Perhaps you haven’t started because you’re waiting for venue details, etc.

  • Alternatively, do something COMPLETELY unrelated to the task, like reorganizing your kitchen cupboards or finish folding the laundry to get your mind off the task so when you get back to work you can begin with a fresh mind (and a clean house)

  • Work in short bursts checking off the boxes for the small tasks to build confidence and momentul and create space so you can do the heavy tasks


In all honesty this isn’t my favourite solution or meant to be “ongoing” just for when we’re struggling with the other solutions.


[20:32] Solution Number Six: Realign Your Boundaries

One of the reasons why we might be overwhelmed is because we’ve said “yes” to more work that we can realistically take on. The work might have also not been something we wanted to do in the first place. Make sure that you aren’t saying “yes” when you really mean “no” - you are not only doing yourself a disservice, but you are also going to waste a lot of time complaining or avoiding the tasks that you didn't want to do in the first place.


Creating boundaries for when you’ll be at work really gets you to focus when you’re in those boundary times. Such as checking emails twice a day, blocking off creative/creation hours in the morning if that works best for you. Scheduling in breaks - and actually taking them… unlike if you were to eat lunch WHILE working. Separate these things.


This could mean closing emails while you’re in creation mode or in meetings. Turning off notifications or devices when work hours are off. I keep my phone on airplane mode when I’m sleeping. I am of help to no one when I am asleep, and I am also unhelpful when I haven’t had a good night's rest.


Another boundary could be that you wait to respond to a request to take on a new task. Reply with a “let me get back to you” and decide once you’ve been able to genuinely digest the information and feel if it’s appropriate for you to take on at this time.


I will say, “thank you so much for thinking of me, this sounds like an amazing opportunity, however I would be doing a disservice to myself if I added something else to my plate right now.” Followed by a time when they could follow up with me again, or a referral to someone else who could be more supportive. More often than not, this response is well received and the response will be something along the lines of “thank you for your honesty and I really respect how you are honouring what you need right now, this is a very helpful reminder, I understand.”


Even for myself I would much rather someone communicate with me that this isn’t the right fit rather than making themselves do something they don’t want to do and then the effort is also not fully there - anyway I digress.


Well there you have it! 6 Productivity Solutions You Need to Know! You are ready to take on the day - NOW TAKE ACTION!


If you found this episode helpful, take a screenshot and share the episode on instagram tagging me @vallavignelife I love seeing how you implement what you’ve learned with which episodes you’re connecting with!

 

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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Download the FREE Dream Lifestyle Roadmap

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E155: Do Less of this ONE THING and Make More Time for Your Self-Care
 
 

E155: Do Less of this ONE THING and Make More Time for Your Self-Care

To make an impact, you have to swap this detrimental mindset immediately! This quick episode challenges you to shift your perspective so that you can show up as the best version of yourself and make a greater impact in the world…


Leave a review on Apple Podcasts

[00:29] Hello friends! Welcome back to the Women’s Empowerment Podcast. My name is Valerie and I am your host and Healthy Habit Mentor. I work with women from all walks of life. I work with mothers, business owners, health care providers, students, coaches, and other women-identifying humans making an impact on the world.


So I can take a WILD guess that you my dear, yes you, have a desire to make a positive change in the world. I will bet that you are a person making an impact on the lives of people who are lucky enough to know you and be in your presence and that you give a lot.


With all of the incredible things you do, people you serve, and impact you are making, I will also be so bold as to say, there are times where you feel burnt out.


Heck, everyone has such busy lives and schedules, how do you cram all the things in? How do you possibly find time for you? Most days it feels like there is not enough time. Would you agree?


[1:35] I could definitely agree. There are days where I feel completely drained, exhausted, at the end of my rope, lazy, and totally BLAH! I couldn’t take action even if I tried. And I think the toughest part is that it takes even longer for me to achieve goals or tasks or make an impact because I am reviving myself AND still trying to do all the things at the same time. And really, the truth is when that is happening, I’m running on fumes. You feel me?


If you’re nodding along, then I’d like to challenge you to do less of this one thing to help you make more time for yourself and your self-care. 


You see, what all of these impactful women have in common when we are doing all the things, burning out, and repeating the cycle again, is our detrimental perspective.


It took me a long time to learn that “we can do anything, just not everything.” I was a “yes person” for a very long time. There are so many reasons why we wrap ourselves up in these identities. Maybe we’re afraid of what people will think of us? Perhaps we aren’t listening to our intuition so we do what others expect of us. Or it could be that we want to be everything for everyone else and aren’t making ourselves a priority.


[3:08] Whatever your reason, I challenge you to change your perspective and prioritize yourself first thing every single day. Before you make any excuses. Before you tell me that it cannot be done. I am saying: I challenge you to prove to me that shifting your perspective on your self-care to this new thought doesn’t give you more time, more energy, more fulfilment in your life. Prove it.


Here’s what I’m talking about: Right now we have the detrimental perspective that we have to do all the things on our to-do list. We tell people that when it comes to our self-care our biggest struggle is finding the time. We feel like we have to cram and force it all into our calendars. We know we should put ourselves first, but when we actually see our priority list… well I’m not seeing our names on it, or it’s at the very bottom of the list.


I said some keywords here that I’d like us to reframe. Did you catch them? They were:

Have to

Finding the time

Cram and force

Should


[4:32] This languaging, this perspective is detrimental. Here’s the swap:

Get to

Create the time

Prioritize and make

Want


We get to do all the things

We can create the time in our calendars

We prioritize and make the time for ourselves

We want to put ourselves first


The detrimental perspective is disempowering. It creates feelings of pain, suffering, obstacles, struggle, and dislike.


The new languaging and perspective is empowering. It encourages feelings of joy, happiness, space, creation, strength, and bliss.


[5:12] Do less of, or completely eliminate that disempowering and detrimental perspective so that you can create more time for yourself. So that you can fill your cup up and then pour onto others. I know the filling the cup analogy is becoming a cliche, but it’s the perfect example and visualization for this.


Imagine an empty glass of water sitting in the middle of your kitchen table. This is you. Your self-care is the water we are pouring into our cup. When we first begin this shift in perspective. When we say “I get to work through my to do list today” We fill our up ¼ of the way. Then we “create time in our calendars” for the things that lift us up aka our self care we fill the cup another ¼ of the way. Our cup is now half full. Next, we put ourselves at the top of the priority list. Cup fills up again. We continue to do these things over and over and over again and the cup is overflowing. Imagine it. Imagine water just pouring into the cup and more water spilling over.


[6:25] Guess where all the extra water goes? To everyone and everything else around us, and the best part… WE AREN’T BURNT OUT! We are OVERFLOWING!


We can give more, do more, love more, create more, show up more, be more when we make this shift in our perspective. When we prioritize ourselves first every day. 


If you think putting yourself last on the list is helping you or helping more people I am bursting that bubble right now. Fill your cup first.


Let this be a reminder to us all - myself included - to make this change and embody this new thought pattern.


You can also share your experience and let me know that you’re doing the challenge over on instagram @vallavignelife I want to know about what action and self-care you are taking to prioritize yourself!

If you’re listening to this episode and thinking of a friend who could also use this powerful mindset shift, you can share it with them and invite them into the challenge also.

 

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

Categories

Download the FREE Dream Lifestyle Roadmap

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E154: 5 Things You beed to Create a New Habit
 
 

E154: 5 Things You beed ti Create a New Habit

Whether you are starting a new habit, replacing an old one, or re-implementing your lost healthy habits, here are the five things you need to create that habit…


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[00:29] Welcome back to The Women's Empowerment Podcast. I am your host and healthy habit mentor Valerie Levine. I am very excited today because we are talking about obviously one of my favorite topics which is healthy habits and creating new healthy habits. Now there are so many different ways that we can actually change and transform our current habits or create new habits. However, there are five key things that I want you to really consider when you're developing team habits or when you're changing an old habit or a bad habit. We'll call it into a good habit. Now I want you to think about each of these different things and I want you to think about which of the things you get stuck with or where you feel like you get stuck the most. And when you are re-listening or reading about each of these five things that I'm going to suggest and highly recommend that you incorporate or use to incorporate your new habit into your life. I want you to notice which one is holding you back or which one is your biggest pain point. And then how can you start to overcome this point or how can you start to work with this struggle and use it to talk a little bit more about this as we go on with today's episode. And you know how I am. I like to dive right in.



[02:42] #1 REASON 

Without further ado, let's get into the first thing you need to create a new habit is a reason when it comes to creating your new habit. I want you to define and discover your reason.


Why do you want a new habit? Why do you want to make this change? Why do you want to start something different? Or replace something you already are doing? The answer to these questions the why right because dot dot dot will become the motivation to start your new pattern. Some people call this your “why power” because it's the driving force to keep you moving forward even when you don't want to do the work. But remember your reason reminds you of why the action is so important and gets you back on track. So right now you're going to be listening to this episode and perhaps at the end of the episode you're going to feel incredibly inspired and motivated to take action because that is always my intention for when you're listening to the show. I want you to feel inspired to take action. 


So let's say you do, let's say you feel motivated, you're like yes, I'm ready to change or I'm ready to implement something new. I want to be healthier. I want to feel better. I'm tired of feeling stuck and lazy, and blah And I want to be healthier and feel better. So you are all fired up. Now you're listening to this episode. You're excited you have an idea. You're like yes, I want this. Why? Why do you want this because what's going to happen is you'll start your habits, as we often do, and we get into maybe a little bit of a rhythm, a little bit of a pattern. We're feeling good. We're getting excited. 


And then one day, we're just like, I don't want to or something else comes up and we can't do it when we want to do it and it gets pushed off later in the day. And by the end of the day, you're just so tired, or there's just not enough time or whatever else excuse is coming up for that moment for that habit. And this is where the “why power” comes in. This is where the reason is so important. Because even when you're tired and even when you don't want to, even though when I'm not in your your air pods or not with you at the gym, or in your car or wherever you are right now, you will need your reason and your reason is going to be what drives you forward.


[5:19] #2 HABIT TRIGGER

The second thing you need when creating a new habit is a trigger.


A habit trigger is an event that automatically causes us to complete another habit. It supports our habit, and it also simplifies it and they kind of support and simplify how to go hand in hand. Because when something is simple, it's kind of supports that habit but what it's supportive. It also just happens to be simple which is amazing. The habit trigger sequence or formula is as follows. When this happens, then that follows or when trigger happens. Then habit follows. So here are some examples that I want to share with you. When I make my coffee then I stir in my intention for the day.


When I start my car, then I play a personal development audiobook or podcast when I put my PJs on, then I floss and brush my teeth. 


So think about the things you are already doing every single day. Are you making a smoothie every day? Are you driving to work every day? Do you have a shower every day? Are you going for a walk every day? Are you getting up from bed every day? The answer is probably yes to almost all of those. 


And what I want you to do is see where you can bring your new habit into the things you're already doing. If you want to start taking your supplements, you know that habit triggers when I pour a glass of water in the morning. I take my supplements or when I get out of the shower. Then I set my gym clothes up for after work or for the next morning or whatever it is. So setting yourself up for success is the habit. 


This is going to make it easier because it's already going to start to become automatic just like these other triggers are these other triggers are already automated they're already habits.



[7:53] #3 MICRO HABIT

The third thing you need to create a new habit is a micro habit.


Write this down: small positive actions over time lead to positive change and success.


I'll repeat it one more time. Small positive actions over time will lead to positive change and success. It is so much simpler. Then we make it forget overthinking it. Just take action. Take small actions. What I want you to do right here right now is write down the micro action slash habit that you are taking every day. That brings you closer to your goals. Here's where it's going to change a little bit for each of us. 


The first thing I want you to do is look at your habit. What are you changing? What are you creating? What are you implementing? Can you simplify it? Can you make it easier? Can you make it smaller? Can you make it super simple? I was chatting with a friend of mine who is working on building back her walking habit and her daily walks and she said Val I'm just not doing it the excuses are coming and I know that it's good for me. I'm just not going to walk. I used to walk for an hour. I used to walk for 45 minutes. I used to walk for half an hour and I just wouldn't get up. And I said the next time you tell yourself that you're going for a walk stand up. That's your micro habit. 


Your micro habit is going for a two minute walk instead of an hour walk. Put your shoes on. That's a micro micro habit. Put your shoes on micro habits, your podcasts, micro habits. These are already things we know how to do because they're already things we've done before. Make it super simple. So not only are you going to customize what your action is, but you can make your habit simplified so you can make it even smaller. The other thing that might change for you is that this might be something completely new. 


You are not someone who has gone for walks before so you don't even know really where to start. I mean walking is easy, right? We already are. But how can we make a habit out of this? Well, just like I was saying before, create these tiny little actions to help move the needle forward. So whether that's putting your shoes on at the front door, setting an alarm on your phone for when you're going to stand up, setting a timer for two minutes. Maybe one day, it's planning the walks. The next day, it's preparing for the walks and then on the third day we are actually going to take the walk because often what habit happens is we think of our habit. And then we're like, wait a second. There are so many more things that need to happen before I can actually do this. 


For example, people who want to work out three times a week and they've never been to a gym before they don't even have a membership. Guess what needs to happen before you can workout three times a week. You need to sign up for the gym. 


You need to make sure that your shoes and your clothes are ready. You need to have a plan for when you get there. So a lot of times we overcomplicate it and we make the habit or the goal really big when the simplest thing we can do is create that micro habit.


[10:58] #4 EFFECTIVE PRACTICE

The fourth thing we need when creating a new habit is effective practice. The best, most effective method of practice is the one that you keep doing. Okay. Practicing a new habit is not a one size fits all approach. We all learn, build and perform tasks very differently. For some of us habit stacking is key. For others we need more accountability or perhaps there's something in between here are some bonus tips for effective practice. small chunks bigger action. This is similar to micro habits which we just talked about really breaking things down from that bigger action. The second one is repetition. Repetition, repetition, keep repeating and repeating and repeating the action. And the third one is to be mindful. I'm actually going to talk about all three of these bonus tips near the end of this episode. 


But for now, let's talk a little bit more about what effective practice is: what works for one habit may not work for another. So what I'd like you to do is play and experiment with different ideas and methods that haven't worked for you in the past and see how it goes for your new habit now. 


For example, if you know that what gets scheduled in your calendar is less going to get done and you are going to schedule your habit into your calendar. If you do not use a calendar or a planner. Well guess what? You're not going to be doing that. Maybe you are someone who needs someone else to text them and say hey, let's go for that block or Hey, Did you brush your teeth and floss today? Or hey, did you eat your healthy meal in the morning? Whatever your unhealthy habit is. 


Perhaps you need that accountability. So perhaps there is an accountability buddy or friend you can message to say, Would you mind helping me with this? I could really use your support. I need you to text me every day this time to do that. Or perhaps it's just setting an alarm on your phone with the label of do the thing you said you were going to do do and then XYZ to healthy habits.


When you look at the strategies or the practices or the methods that have worked before, I want you to be really open minded to the fact that again, it might not be the same for each of your habits. And you might find that there is this really amazing kind of opportunity or space for you to explore and try different things. I tried reading in the middle of the day and it just was not working for me. I was very inconsistent with this. And what I noticed was it's inconsistent because my Monday through Friday isn't the same but I can make every Monday and I can make every Tuesday the same and I can make every Wednesday the same so I adjusted when I scheduled something into my calendar. Now ideally, if you really want to build this habit quickly, those is like an extra bonus that I was planning on sharing today.


If you really want to make this habit quicker and more automated, do it every single day at the exact same time because your body and your physical body will start to create these neuro pathways and you will naturally start to do the thing. Because it's at the same time every day. Okay, so that's helpful, but it doesn't have to be that the reason why I don't talk about that that much is because I feel like it discourages people such as myself who have very different day to day lives.


But if you can manage it, then I would definitely recommend it.


[14:58] #5 AN ACTION PLAN 

The fifth thing you need and habit forming is a plan and actually, I'm going to add to that you need a plan of action. The plan itself needs to be specific, attainable and also flexible. The plan needs to make sense for you. It needs to inspire you, as well as challenge you. Most importantly the plan needs to be actionable. Can you start that and underline that in bold that.


You want a new habit. What's your plan? Right What are you going to be doing every single day? What are the action steps that you are going to be taking? Even if there are teeny tiny little steps forward we do not need to take leaps and bounds right away. We are breaking it down those micro habits what are those micro steps?


Because we are creating a plan. I would like your plan to be as specific as possible meaning you're going to write down day one. Make a playlist day to make a workout plan day two, day three I set out my workout clothes. The attainable part should be very simple. You know how I don't like to say should but it can be very simple. When we are specific and talking about those simplified micro habits. The reason why I added flexible here has a lot to do with a we're gonna talk about soon mindfulness, but allowing the plan to change and ebb and flow as it needs to because remember, we're not sure what's the best best method for us with this specific habit yet, so we need to learn about what that is for us. Maybe it's simplifying it even more.


Now, the plan needs to make sense to you. Okay, I get this all the time. Val. I want to work out at six o'clock every morning. And I'm like, great. What time do you normally get up back? Oh, well, you know, I usually sleep until like eight, like, okay, so you're not working out and you don't like waking up at six in the morning. I'm gonna tell you right here and right now. This plan is destined for failure at this time. Not that you can't get there. Just like it's not a great attainable plan in the beginning. Okay. But you also want your plan to inspire you. So perhaps you're already working out in the morning but you want to get up a little bit earlier. Well, can you set your alarm earlier and it challenges you? What would you do if you had an extra 15 minutes every morning before work? What would you do if you were able to exercise 30 minutes earlier every day? What base are you creating? What time are you creating? What life are you creating? But then also that little bit of a challenge so were waking up maybe five minutes earlier? 10 minutes earlier? 15 minutes earlier, and we're building up on that.


Again, the most important thing no matter what plan you are creating for yourself needs to be actionable. What is your plan there, your action steps?


[18:16] Bonus Tip #1: REPETITION

Oh boy. Alright. So the five things that you need to create a habit. Here are those three bonus tips explained: a little bit more effective practice requires repetition. Do something again and again and again, to make it a habit. It sounds simple, but why is it so hard for us to do? It's usually pretty difficult because it requires time and also because we are physically changing neural pathways. in our brain.


When we make these changes, our brain and our body start to panic, even if the change is small. Even if we know the change is for the better. So how do we get over this panic? We do the action again. And again. We keep doing it until it becomes habitual with your body and your mind. I see this all the time with new clients to the studio who have never done Pilates before or have never done reformer Pilates which is using equipment or machines that at first glance looks very intimidating. The first time I saw the machine I was not sure what was going on. I did not know anything about how to use it. But now I have been on it so many times I've used it so many times that I am comfortable getting on the machine I'm comfortable if a teacher is putting me in a new position and telling me to do a new exercise because I understand the machine I understand my body and how my body works on this machine. But when it's new the body gets tense the body starts to pull away the body starts to do strange things to say no no, no, this is not for us. I don't know what this is. I'm keeping you safe. We're going to stay on the couch versus going to Pilates. Okay. So just know that there are going to be things that come up the feeling of maybe a little jitters or excitement or anxiety or panic or whatever that is for you. However, that's manifesting for you. But just know that you are Oh K going for a daily walk eating a healthier meal.


​​You know creating healthy boundaries or finding time for mindful transitions in your day. These are all so supportive for your health and your wellness and we know it is we know what we're supposed to be doing. We know that these are incredibly beneficial tools to elevating our health and our wealth and our happiness. We just have to keep doing it. This is why action is so important. Can we not talk about this more and more and more.


[20:58] Bonus Tip #2: SMALL CHUNKS, BIGGER ACTION

Okay, our bonus tip number two for creating a new habit are the smaller chunks of the bigger action. So remember, we're outlining our dream or desire our goal and what you want to do is you want to make sure it's yours because this is where that “why power” is very important. When it's your dream, not anyone else's. You are able to define it clearly. You know your desire and it's gonna fuel you with that “why power” because it's yours. You want it for your reasons. This is important. Once you have this dream or desire, break it down into smaller goals or milestones. You can do this by reverse engineering the tree then break each of those goals down into smaller steps or small chunks. Because the small chunks will lead you to the bigger action of those micro habits. The smaller the better. Each time you complete one of these actions. You are checking off a box. You are increasing your confidence, you are increasing your ability to do amazing things and to make change. Then once you've outlined each of these little micro actions or micro habits, you can take it one step at a time. And really what I mean is just start with one. Don't worry about anything else. Your only focus is the one step. Then once that's done, the box is checked. Then look at step two.


Make starting a new habit as simple as possible. Okay, we're really like I want to say super small chunks, we're really breaking it down. So for example, if you want to have a daily reading habit, choose a book as a micro habit. Set a time in your calendar to read every day.


Put the book somewhere you'll sit and read it. Remove distractions. Read 10 or more pages a day. I'm saying these as a list because I want them to be really one except maybe it's broken up by each day.



[23:10] Bonus Tip #3: MINDFULNESS

Mindfulness is such a big part of forming a new habit. When you are creating a new habit, especially if it's something you haven't done before, or you are replacing an old habit.


You want to be the observer you want to notice without judgment what your body is doing, what your mind is thinking and saying how you are acting or reacting to these changes. Perhaps it's the physical, mental or emotional changes. You're noticing the hood of those emotional roadblocks of oh, I can't do this. I'm not good enough for imposter syndrome. 


Or they're just excuses that will come up for you. And everyone will be a little bit different. However, it might also be what I was mentioning before where you know, it doesn't quite fit in the schedule. Or perhaps you'll find that you need more accountability and if you're listening to this episode, and you are thinking oh my goodness gracious, I need all the help I can get. I am really ready to invest in myself and make a change. 


Then I love to invite you into my Make a Habit Mentorship Program, which is an exclusive one on one customized and personal mentorship experience. It helps you build and stick to your habits and routines. The program works over four weeks with weekly check ins and accountability between the sessions. This is for you if you are ready to get out of those lazy patterns, get out of feeling blah and get into your best version of yourself. It's for you if you already are ready to elevate your health and wellness you are ready to take action and consistent action. 


Right we How often are we stopped and we just need to overcome those limiting beliefs. And how I like to describe this coaching with myself is that I help shine the light on the exact habits, the exact patterns, the exact micro habits that we need to be focusing on together. And that accountability is really going to propel you forward because guess what? It's not just for you. It's not just your time. 


You are now inviting someone else into this journey with you into this transformation with you and I am here to be your mirror to be your support to hold you accountable to the things you've always wanted to do to create a life you've always wanted. To live and feel healthier feels good again in your body.

Instagram @vallavignelife



 

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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Health & WellnessVal LaVigne
E153: Syncing Your Self-Care with the Moon Cycle
 
 

E153: Syncing Your Self-Care with the Moon Cycle

Amplify and elevate your self-care routines into powerful rituals using the energy of the eight phases of the moon cycle…


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[1:44] What is Self Care

  • Self-care comes in many different forms. In some of the earlier episodes of the podcast I talk about simple, and not so simple self-care practices:

E16: Ten Simple Self-Care Practices

E17: Ten Not-so-SImple Self-Care Practices


  • Today we’ll be talking about our different wellness routines and regimens, the simple self-care and I’ll sprinkle in some of the not so simple self-care also. 

  • At its very core, self-care is whatever fills our cups. It elevates our bodies, minds, hearts, and spirit. When our cup or our energy is full, we are able to pour into others. Ideally we can aim to fill our cups so much that we are overflowing our elevated energy onto others.

  • This allows us to remain full while we give, and it allows us to give more

  • Since each and every one of us is wildly unique, I will offer a variety of self-care ideas and rituals throughout the episode. These could be practices you already have, or perhaps ones you’d like to try. You can also listen for where you’d like to include some of your very own unique routines into the lunar phases - more on this very soon!

  • Before we get into the details, I’d like to invite you to follow me on instagram and connect with me more there. You can find me @vallavignelife Share your self-care practices with me in the DMs or comments, I would love to get to know you more.


[6:15] The Lunar Phases

  • If you’re already in the instagram community, or if you’ve been listening to the show for a while, you might already know that as practical and logistical as I am I LOVE astrology and following the lunar phases, pulling oracle cards, and the Woo life! I am here for the woo!

  • Which is why today I am combing some practical routines, with one of nature's most powerful cycles: the moon phases

  • The moon or lunar cycle is about 28-30 days and contains 8 phases: new moon, waxing crescent, first quarter, waxing gibbous, full moon, waning gibbous, the last quarter moon, and waning crescent moon.

  • These 8 phases can be most obviously tracked by the shape of the moon that you see (on a clear night) The day after this podcast is released is a New Moon sometimes called Dark Moon and it is when you don’t see the moon in the sky at all! 

  • Not only does the moon affect how we see it, but it’s also affecting how we feel. The moon has a magnetic pull on the Earth which changes the tides. The human body is made up of more than 75% water, which means we’re being magnetically pulled too!

  • For each of the lunar phases I will explain what this phase typically means, examples of self-care best suited for this phase, and also a few ways you can elevate or amplify this to make it more of a ritual.


[11:54] New Moon

The new moon, as I mentioned, is when the sky is dark and we won’t see the moon. Think of this as a blank slate for us to create a vision for our lives (or at least for the next 28-30 days). This is a very quiet, gentle part of the moon phase and is excellent for planting the seeds of our dreams, connecting to our intuition and inner wisdom, and starting something new.


Now is the time to journal your goals and intentions. These can be one, six, or twelve month intentions and goals. 

This is also a really great time to rest and spend some time alone. The moon’s energy is mirroring for us to slow down, hide like the hermit and take much care. Avoid extra tasks and overwhelm. Prioritize rest and time alone or at home. 


To elevate your intention setting journaling ritual, write down everything intention, goal, or manifestation in your journal. Then, go through each item on your list and envision you having it NOW. Embody the feelings of what this would be like if this intention were happening to you in the present, or had already happened to you and feel it in your entire body and being. Bring this manifestation into the present moment using your visualization and follow it with gratitude. Say, feel, or experience yourself being grateful for that goal coming into fruition for you.


[15:04] Waxing Crescent

This part of the moon phase is when you start to see the shape of the moon appearing in a crescent or sliver. Almost like the moon is peeking out from behind the darkness. As the light of the moon grows, imagine your confidence also starting to shine.

The self-care practices you want to emphasise in this phase are confidence boosting rituals. These will help set your intentions into motion. Write down a positive affirmation about yourself and your intention together. 

For example, if your intention is to attract money into your life, your affirmation could be: “I am abundant” or “I am a money magnet” You can write this down several times in your journal, or make a cute wallpaper for your phone so you see it every day. Write it on a sticky note or two or three and place them around your house or in your car, or on your desk where you will be reminded of the affirmation. 

To elevate this ritual take note of times where your intention is coming to light in small ways, using the example you might find a dime on the ground, or maybe a stranger picked up your tab at the starbucks drive through. 

Some other ways to boost confidence are to wear your favourite clothes, do your hair or make up if that makes you feel good, and surround yourself with people who lift you up, not pull you down.


[17:29] First Quarter

This moon phase is when the moon looks like the shape of the letter D. As the moon shines more light, you want to keep taking more action. Energy is building and we need to be here for it. Taking action is the only way we’re going to get the results we want when it comes to our goals and intentions.

This is also where people tend to get the must stuck. Doing “the work” as I call it, or taking action, comes with its challenges. Obstacles may arise so self-care practices that involve mindfulness and personal development are great to build in this phase.

Think meditation, breath-work, yoga, any form of movement to shake out tension or resistance. This would also be a perfect time to revisit your favourite personal development books or podcasts to help motivate and inspire you to stay on track with your goals. Depending on your intention/goal you might have a book or poem that really resonates with you. 

For our abundance example some of my favourites are:

Think and Grow Rich

Secrets of a Millionaire Mind

The Science of Getting Rich

Elevate this ritual by including some forgiveness into your day as you are growing and evolving and you need all the compassion for the action you are taking and the work you are doing. It’s uncomfortable at times, but it means you are growing. It’s okay if you’re in the messy middle of it. Deep breaths.


[19:36] Waxing Gibbous

The waxing gibbous phase is when the moon is almost at its fullest. Almost. There is definitely more energy in this phase as the moon is brighter. 

In combination with physical self-care practices like working out, or dancing, or moving your body more - incorporate more of that physical self-love.  Consider acupuncture, massage, booking an osteo appointment, or a fascial stretch. If your physical body needs less attention, maybe you’ll prefer a delicious meal, or time out with friends. 

Elevate this ritual by turning off devices and distractions. Setting firm boundaries about when you will be replying to emails - definitely NOT during your massage!


[21:31] Full Moon

This is probably the most well-known phase of the moon cycle and when people feel the effects of the moon the most. The moon is its fullest and brightest and we are at the height of the lunar energy or the climax of the cycle. This is the time for a check-in. Think of it as the time where everything is illuminated and you can see all the pieces of the puzzle now, no secrets.

Use this time to stop and take note of all you’ve done thus far. Honour yourself for the action you’ve taken, the efforts you’ve made and how far you’ve come. A perfect ritual for this part of the lunar cycle is a moon bath. 

Elevate this ritual with a rose quartz crystal to open up the heart chakra, 5-10 drops of lavender essential oil for relaxation and calming, 2 cups of epsom salts for easing the tension in the body and mind, and 1 cup of baking soda for detoxing and letting go.

If you don’t have a bathtub, you can mix the ingredients in a bowl and pour it over your shoulders in the show and keep the crystal close by.

You might be noticing more of your intentions coming into fruition now, and perhaps you have not. Regardless of the outcome of your actions, release all limiting beliefs, expectations, or trying to figure out the “how” of it all happening. Instead, focus on celebrating the work you’ve done and the leaps you’ve made toward your goal.


[23:53] Waning Gibbous

While the moon is not technically full, it still has some energy and light left in it during this phase. Most people feel the effects of the full moon days later, and this is the waning gibbous moon.

It’s time to clear out the energy in your physical space. What is no longer serving you must go! Declutter your home or office. Donate clothing, clear out photos on your phone or documents in your Google Drive that you no longer need. Don’t be shy to let things go, they are of the past. The more you can let go, the lighter you will be, and the more space you are creating for (like our example abundance) to flow!

Elevate this ritual by physically opening windows and letting fresh air and sunlight into your space if possible. This helps get rid of stale energy. Clear out places maybe you hadn’t thought of like cleaning out your bag, wallet, or glove box of your car. Also - I’ll say it… toxic relationships or people. Tasks that have been on your to do list for far too long, and anything else that you no longer want in your life.


[25:15] Last Quarter

The moon begins to appear smaller and smaller in the sky. Your actions continue, however this is a wonderful time to shower yourself with gifts of gratitude.

What self-care practices would help you feel rewarded for your efforts? Buying yourself a small gift? Buying a new pair of shoes? Maybe getting your hair or nails done? Anything that celebrates and honours your hard work and effort that makes you feel great about yourself!

Elevate this routine by sharing the excitement with a friend OR writing a gratitude note to yourself with the details of how far you’ve come.


[26:03] Waning Crescent

This is the final phase of the lunar cycle, if you haven’t already detoxed your home or body, it’s time to get the massage, have another epsom salt bath and decompress. The energy of the moon is slowing down, as is it’s light.

This is a great time to reconnect to nature and practice self-care such as grounding (walking barefoot in the grass), going for a hike, swimming in the lake, or laying out in the sun. 

Elevate this ritual by incorporating nature into your daily self-care routines. For example: 

  • Drink your morning coffee while you water the plants in your home

  • Journal outside

  • Walk to your favourite lunch spot

  • Include more essential oils into your evening routine

  • While you’re shopping for healthy food for the week, pick up some fresh flowers


The moon cycle repeats again with the new moon.

Depending on when you’re listening to this episode you might not be in the new moon phase, and know that that is perfect alright! You can start at any point in the cycle. 

Let’s connect on instagram! @vallavignelife 

 

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

Categories

Download the FREE Dream Lifestyle Roadmap

Follow on Instagram

 
E152: IG Habits to Create Quality Connection & Content
 
 

E152: IG Habits to Create Quality Connection & Content with Steph Rigby

Learn to create quality connections online and quality content with Steph Rigby of @yourcontentbestie from Instagram…


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[1:21] Valerie LaVigne: I am very excited to welcome our newest guest to the show. Steph Rigby. Steph is an Instagram content mentor who empowers to create authentic content and helps them focus on using Instagram to grow their business. She has over 10 years of corporate sales and marketing experience. But the nine to five life just wasn't for her. She started her online business after constantly waking up feeling tired, unhappy and longing to do more with her life and just tried to climb the corporate ladder. Three months later, she went full time in her business and never looked back. Now she mentors online creatives and creating content that stops their dream client’s scroll. Welcome to the show!


Stephanie Rigby: Thanks for having me here.


VL: Yeah, it's really great to have you here. I know this is something that you and I have been talking about very long, trying to get together to do an episode for the show. And honestly, I totally believe in like signs and how timing is really important. I feel like this is the perfect time for us to connect. You've got some great new offerings going on. You have some amazing content and and tips to share. So yeah, I'm really excited to have you on the show finally, and I hope we can just dive right in. How does that sound? That's amazing. So you teach Instagram in a nutshell.


SR: Yeah. 


VL: And what I love about what you do is you do it in such a fun way that really is true to you and true to who you are. So I love that you can see your personality shine through with your content and honestly as someone who really encourages and promotes and teaches Instagram and can be and using it for your community, I see that a lot of people are missing the mark with the connection. I always say like Instagram is a form of social media, but people forget the social part of it. So how do you create community on instagram?


SR: Yeah, I totally agree. A lot of people miss the mark on using it as a social platform and offense to be so full a lot of people I feel like I'm just creating content and not so this is something I'm super passionate about and have always focused on and help my clients focus on as well. building connections doesn't have to be hard at all. It's really just by not like my people, finding people that can relate to you that you can relate to and just connecting with them. And I think the one thing that a lot of people are afraid of is coming off sleazy, or spammy when to try to create those connections. And, you know, I think the pandemic also hasn't helped build like a lot of social anxiety. So like I think people get a lot of social anxiety when it comes to creating those connections or sending messages to people on Instagram. Now we've all been deleted from face connections, so want to make more connections online. However, we still feel that social anxiety of like, oh my god, like they're gonna think that they're gonna think that and we don't really just like push past those thoughts and push past those barriers and just build those connections as people so I think it's something that's missed with people and if you're not connecting with people on Instagram, your content alone is not enough to convert people, attract people and even just make money in general because let's be honest, a lot of us use Instagram to make money if you're not in business and you're using it, you know, for voyeurism or, you know, for the, you know, the purpose of just looking at other content that's different, but when it comes to making impact, whether he, you know, make a free impact or a paid impact on people. At the end of the day, you're not actually trying to connect with people you're trying to impact then so much get lost. 


[5:30] VL: Yeah, that's a really good point, because I know people call it like posting. So if you just post something that is creating content and you're not engaging with comments, you're leaving potential clients and customers in the desk, potential paychecks if you really want to look at it this way. And something that I really discovered in the last year specifically is how important community is and because of all the changes and the shapes and all the lockdowns and things we've been going through I've really taken to social media, specifically Instagram to create these relationships and even you and I we've known each other for over a year now we've never met in real life yet we've had Yeah, we've had conversations and zoom calls outside of Instagram but we met through like minded people, and let's say it's day one for us on Instagram, or maybe not day one, but we're we're ready to try something different. We've been doing the content. And now what do we do?


[7:12] SR: We're a little bit nervous to show up in our authentic way because, you know, there's going to be the fears always like imposter syndrome. Who am I? Who am I? Who am I a question, or it's going to be what if they don't like me or what if they don't? Like what I'm, what I'm sharing personally and the other question again, a lot of you right now, but these are common limiting beliefs. The other question that I get a lot is, well, I want to keep my personal life personal. So how do we sprinkle in some of our personality without, you know, giving it all away and maybe bringing in family members or people who don't want to be seen on social media? How do we find the balance? Yeah, so those are some really great questions and you know, very common things that I find my customers are dealing with, or people that are having to meet or advice that aren't customers yet are dealing with and I think the biggest thing is knowing what people could potentially have a common view. So I think really knowing what your own interests are and what your own hobbies are, and what your own tendencies are, and being able to speak about that and make that known to people. I again, it's all about relatability right? So at the end of the day, you want people to be able to relate to you you want to be able to share information that's motivating and inspiring. And you want to be able to just build a genuine connection. So I always think of it like if I were face to face with somebody, which is maybe a new concept these days, but if I were face to face with somebody, or even like on a zoom call, what are some of the things that I would say or let them know that ice and those are some really good places to start? And simply the best way to just start is to just comment on people's content. And I think that is something or reply to their stories and it's something that seems obvious but not everybody does right away and people hold back because they fear that judgment or they think they're going to say something stupid or you know so at the end of the day I think that you have to really work on the mindset to behind your behind those thoughts and that impossible. Every time you do something or go to do something and you hear those like negative thoughts and you have to really make that verbiage in your head and you have to come up with stories for yourself. So that's one thing. The other thing to the point about what to share about your personal life, pick a couple friends that you're comfortable with that aren't too personal, right so like maybe it's something like your day to day like you could talk about your morning routine your evening routine, you could talk about you know, your kids or your pets or like I share my cat all the time that people love it like it's just so funny. Like I'll get people going to my profile from my story on like a random photo or video of a cat. And they're like, Okay, well I guess would be interested in learning more about me or they wanted to see what other content or maybe they thought I had tons of cat photos, a profile or something like that. So there's always something that people are going to be intrigued by. Can't always know what that is. So I think if you're afraid to show little things that are personal or sorry if you're free to show personal things you need to find a couple of little things that you're comfortable with sharing first, if you like to maybe make a smoothie every day. So just sharing things like that that are really relatable are really good place to start.



[9:50] VL: Absolutely. And I love that you use the word relatable because it's so connections with people and what I do my own Instagram trainings I was talking about that know like and trust factor. We've heard it over and over and over again. But the rule still applies. People need to get to know you and are going to find reasons to like you and then once they know you and like you they're absolutely going to start trusting you more and that could lead to a sale before it will be to a referral which leads to a sale. So it's really just about doing it right like putting yourself out there in some way shape or form and I love that you mentioned morning and evening routines because you know how I am all about those healthy habits for sure. So that's again, like for my own example, that's something that I share I talk about either whatever kind of whatever habit I'm working on at the time and for a while it was walking every day and so I would post a story of either 15 Second seconds of calm or look at this bird I saw on my walk today. Or like look at the sunshine. It's such a beautiful day, or it's raining rain or shine you're going for your walk like those are four examples of different stories that I posted on different days and that's four days where the quote unquote content but it's that relatable a little bit more personal content. I don't teach people how to walk. I don't tell people the weather. I don't talk about I'm not like a bird person.


Quite the opposite of a bird person. However, yeah, I have like trauma with birds. Anyway. That's for a different podcast.


However, what I am doing is I'm showing people one how to show up everyday for your habits, which is what I do, I'm happy to coach and to I'm encouraging people hey, look, I'm doing the work. I'm doing what I say that you should do or you need to find us results right and so, you know, this was consistency. Like I wish I was showing people like hey, look, I did this many 1000 steps today or you know what, I didn't reach my goal today, but that's okay. And I screenshotted my apps I track my steps and this was a huge connector to a lot of people. I had other people going on walks taking similar stories and tagging me that I'm saying was inspired to go for a walk by at @vallavignelife (instagram.com/vallavignelife) today.


I get goose bumps messages or get those mentiones.


someone's inspired by me sometimes taking action because of me and that's what that's what this whole my whole thing is all about as I want you to be inspired to take action. So again, like it doesn't have to be you know, my doctor visit you had today. It could be something a little bit more surface right that we can slowly start to uncover these different parts of us. I love watching those little cat pictures and videos that you shared stories so it's so fun and then it's not like I had a cat. My brother has a cat I love his cat. we can talk about that.


A little bit of an icebreaker for people.


But circling back a little bit to habits do you have any suggestions or habits and use like Instagram habits for example to create more quality connection and I want to like highlight the word quality.


[13:14] SR: Yeah, yeah, quality connection. Is everything and you don't want to force the connection or only be trying to connect with someone to hope that they're gonna buy something from you. So you really have to have the intention of being friends with people so I think one habit is get rid of that like I'm going to sell to them mindset and like really just things like how can I befriend this person? And how can I really just start to gain, you know, relationship with this person on a platonic level? Let's just call it instead of you know, looking at it like, Okay, if they start to like get to know me and trust me, then also they can pitch them on my services. And that's like, it's a really negative motive, like not a negative motive with a very specific motive. And I think that if you leave without high expectation, you're always going to be disappointed, and it's not going to go the way you wanted it to the new frustrated and you're going to back off from that connection and it's just it's not going to seem genuine and those are mistakes that I personally when I first started I mean, because every everyone made it seem like it was so easy to just hop in the DMS send people a couple messages, ask them about their business and that they were just gonna open up and reveal everything to you and that's just not how it works. So I think you know, a specific habits that I really worked on was my mindset and then you know, it relates to Instagram very much because you need to have a very positive mindset and not let things bother you because there's so much facades on Instagram or so many facades on Instagram of people like making tons of money and making it look so easy but they don't show kind of like the hardships that they've gone through or the struggles behind it. And they they only talked about the successful deals, they don't talk about the failed DMS You know how people have rejected them or you know, big objections that people have given them or how people have never replied to them. So I think working on your mindset every day is the habit that helps you you know, do better on Instagram and build more genuine connections when you're not like having such high expectations that you're also not going to allow yourself to feel like crap when somebody doesn't respond to you or doesn't go as quickly as you wanted to. And, you know, just really focusing on how to rewrite the stories in your head on like imposter syndrome and that sort of thing. So that's what happened.


Fine, cool messages, so make sure that you reply to messages fairly on time. So I usually give 24 hours sometimes 48 hours on weekends when I like as a timeframe to reply to people because I've actually lost connections with people that I that I had, like, I was warming up a connection and I was you know actually becoming friends with them and then I didn't reply for a couple days and it sours that connection and a little bit and so that's a that's a habit that I've started to for myself it's like trying to flag the specific people that I'm you know, creating a new relationship with and make sure that I get back to them as quickly as I can and just keep that feeling going because it would be the equivalent of like, you know, seeing somebody face to face in person talking to them and then they get lost in their phone for 20 minutes or however long you were having a conversation for they're unavailable but they're right in front of you for like you know, a certain amount of time and then that gives you like a sour taste or just it turns you off, you know, so another habit is just consistently replying to messages.


And then another habit is to make sure that you're just showing up consistently with your content as well. So you want to make sure that you're consistently creating content that helps solidify those connections, right. So showing up in your story regularly, you know, sharing the kind of repeating some of those things that you feel like people really like about your stories. So like if they enjoy seeing your cat, making sure you're sharing your cat more often and making sure that you're sharing those things that really resonate with people as consistently and often as possible.


And then I think, you know, with that again, it's really about the mindset and working on Okay, what else can I show people like how, you know, much more brave Am I now to share these things or how much more comfortable Am I now to share, you know, a deeper side of my personal life and, you know, really verify that connection with people. So those are a couple habits for building connections on instagram.


[17:28] VL: Those are awesome. I think they're so important. Mindset is one of those things that are a little bit especially with what's happening now and being online more and kind of missing out on that human connection is that we only see the highlight reel of Instagram. For most people, most accounts are just saying, Hey, look at me look at my success. And when you go on Instagram and you see success, success, success story. You know that can be very disheartening, especially as a business owner especially as an entrepreneur and you think everyone else ish together and I definitely don't. And you know what, at the end of the day, I feel like you and I both know that this isn't true, but it is something that I need to remind enough often like I will get in that I'm in like a dry spell. Post right now. This doesn't happen very quickly because the ideas are endless and I know what you're talking about.


But it just isn't resonating. It doesn't feel authentic. Like I'll have a list of ideas and I just think I don't want to post about this. This doesn't feel right for me today. I don't want to most of the day see all these other business owners who are posting these incredible content ideas and I think wow, like that's so perfect.


And it's easy to get caught in the negativity. It's easy to get caught up in the mindset, the imposter syndrome and the lack and the the all the things so definitely working on mindset. Is there something or are there certain tools that you use to support you with your mindset?


SR: Yeah, so I use Insight Timer. I love it because it's just you can you can literally put in any keyword of what you're feeling whether it's anxiety, fear, doubt, shame, anything and you'll always find something that will help you get over that and I really love their affirmations audios like I think those are really great and I've actually been wanting to make a real with some of the affirmations audios. But one of the things I actually created in a course I put out last year with a list of Instagram success affirmations. And so I often repeat those to myself or have similar affirmations about my own success on Instagram or for example. You know, the biggest thing that I think gets people down about content on their stories is when people don't reply to their stickers or their polls or those sorts of things. And personally, it happens to everyone it's happened to me I've put in a lot of work I have a very engaged audience, but sometimes people just don't reply. And you know, I think we have this whole mindset behind that of like, well that's that that's really bad. Like if people don't respond to you, that's bad like and and we have to rewrite how we look that like we're so critical of those things that are out of our control. And so I think it's really like looking at what's in my control what can i What can I not control and how much energy or emotion like going to put towards what I can't control you know? What I mean? And so, those are the things that I think are really important in terms of like, the mindset aspect, other tools, I just, you know, journal, sometimes they journal things out, have a pep talk with somebody else, you know, those are some other like resources or tools you can tap into, and then even those like pages on Instagram that are all about like success in mindset, well, not necessarily but like mindset and positivity. Those are effective driven towards success with that call deleted the same time, but I really think that like following those accounts and getting that inspiration really helps.


[21:04] VL: Yeah, absolutely. I think those are amazing I love and type timer as well. And I think what you said about following specific accounts I think it goes the same way with you can unfollow specific accounts that are not letting you know when you can always follow them later.


Yeah, the thing too, like even though I teach Instagram and I use Instagram for a lot of my business, I remind people at the end of the day is just Instagram. It's not worth stressing over. It's not you know, getting wound up or overwhelmed in any way. So yes, the mindset is so important. And I love what you're saying to like, really responding to people in the DMS in the comments. You know, these are little habits that we can take time every day. I find and we mentioned this before, like don't leave people hanging in the comments or in the DMS. Yeah, I think 24 hours to 48 hours is a great Clarcor if you can get in there and if you can't go back and really return us thoughtful DM I say this all the time. If you're if your DM or your comment isn't thoughtful, like do more than just respond with a sticker or an emoji or, you know, like, I can't tell you how many times I want to punch my phone when someone replies with heart emoji heart emoji heart emoji. Yeah, I can't, I can't like I so and you'll see this if you go to my Instagram feed, you'll see in comments that I never reply with just emojis. And when players do comment, my replies are like, thanks so much for showing up or keep bringing the love like I always reply with words. And what I've noticed is it took a little while for whether it was stories agement stickers, for you know, the call to action was drop a comment below in the comments, whatever those call to actions were in terms of building the engagement. It took a little while but because I was consistent with it, which was one of your attempts, because I was consistent with it. I've been getting a lot more engagement, and it's growing now. Actually, even though it was a really slow start and I'm not going to go like go on two strikes and say, Hey, I saw that a bunch of people saved my leader post for fire you commenting on it. I asked you a question. Yeah. I literally in in stories, and then people will actually go back. We'll tap on my posts and they'll be like, hey, I'll be the first to comment. It's happened before and again like you can't be embarrassed by the little things, especially with stuff. they go away in 24 hours.


SR: Yeah I love that. you do that though.


VL: Sometimes it's so simple. Just tell people what you want them to do. Right? I know this is marketing one on one, one on one. Tell people what you want them to do tell people how you want them to use your product, wasn't it? I think it was head and shoulders who said lather rinse repeat with they have doubled their shampoo sales. Because all they said on the bottle. Another rinse repeat never need to wash your hair two times. Yeah.


​​This is marketing - anyway, I just got so funny but there's definitely a way to do it where like, tap back to screenshot and that's value to you. And then of course the sprinkler, Cool Cat videos and categories and things like that.


Okay, there's one more piece that I want to talk to you a little bit more about and that's creating content. So I feel like create content creation has its own blocks. That can be I don't know what to post Oh, my gosh, how many times have you heard I don't know what to post. or, you know, my posts aren't converting or, you know, how do I know what's working? i? How many questions do you get a day about this?


[25:24] SR: Yeah, so maybe we can kind of maybe break through a couple of those. Mindset blocks and share some of those happens for content creation. Yeah, so I think the biggest one is doing like the research like that is like the hugest thing and like you could do that on your story. You could do that via a Google form and incentivize people to Starbucks or Amazon gift card or a local gift cards and support local or whatever your new agendas. You can just interview people in your network. You can you know, send messages to people that you started to build connections with and actually, you know, make them feel like they're helping you when you put it when you keep owning.


It makes them want to help break so I think that's how you have to frame things instead of like, I want information from you so that I can sell to you, you have to kind of put it out there like I want you to help me so that I can help you and kind of put that back on them in that kind of way because you know, so the one thing is like, we are always trying to build an engaged audience. So when it comes to content, want to know what your specific target audience wants to know. So you can ask them directly or you can go to a site called like questions ninja or answer the public and things like that where you can literally just put in a keyword and it will give you all the most frequently asked questions on the internet of that specific topic. And so you can like utilize those in your content. And it's really easy to just create carousel posts and things like that, that answer those questions for people or explain how to do things. You know, myth busting is a really big one. I see a lot of people doing so.


Yeah, so finding out what people want to know is really big. And then the other thing is like habit that you need to do is have that planning and scheduling habit, you know, really locked down so you need to find you know, at least two hours in your week where you can sit and create the content. And I think you know, when you're overwhelmed and you find it hard to necessarily post consistently, you need to be very reasonable with yourself and only, you know, post a few days a week and not try to force yourself to like go too crazy and like do it too much and so I think being kind to yourself has a lot to do with that because we always feel like these big shoulds and I was just on the phone with somebody before before this and I was talking to them and they're like I should do this. I should do that. And I said stop saying should you want to do it. If he wants to do it, get excited about doing it instead of telling us what you should do because then it becomes a necessary evil and then feel like you have this negative connotation behind that thing that you feel you should do. But then when we tell ourselves, we should do things, how often do we procrastinate on those things, right? Like whenever you feel like you should do something you almost never do that you take forever to do it. So I think that is that is a huge thing that you have to kind of level with with yourself and go like okay, what can I actually do? What can I either afford to do timewise you know, have a task to do ahead mentally to do all these things and just try to make things as simple for yourself as possible. So Instagrams actually given us a gift with this whole new like video content thing, right? Because videos actually easier to create you and I were just chatting about this. It's way easier to create video content than it is to actually write a huge caption and gather all the hashtags for it and you know, make the graphics and all of that I think video content and there's a reason why it's been so big on tic toc YouTube is like video content is just a lot quicker to make and all it really requires at the end if you want to do if you just edit it, you know what I mean? So I think you just need to find like what is easy for you to do what is quicker for you to do and then focus on doing those things. So if you're somebody that can max out your stories all the time and create tons of stories. That's cool. I mean, it's you don't have to post on your team every single day or you know, you don't ever really have to post in your feed if you do have an engaged audience via your stories but he is somewhere where it's just the general profiles. Learn more about it is important to show up on your feet at least once or twice a week at the bare minimum but so I think just like the reasoning with yourself and just like finding what actually works for you is really important. Um, so yeah, so those are some of the things I would say. And then also when it comes to like, you know, creating connections through your content, you want to make sure that you're putting that information out there that people want to know. And you know, it could just be telling a story so like having a mix of like personal content, educational content, and promotional content is also really, really helpful. And so just starting to share more about yourself and create a variety of content is what's going to diversify your feed and your content but then also set you apart from your competition because nobody is you. So that's why you have to show who you are otherwise people are just going to group you with everybody else in your niche or in your field. So yeah, I think I think those are kind of like my top three or four.




[30:14] VL:  love all of those. And I think you're right. I feel like you don't have to post everyday events for dang sure. I know a lot of people who have very engaged stories and they sometimes post once a month on the feed, and that's guys, but they're also showing up on Instagram Live, which we didn't talk a little bit about today but that's okay. They're showing up in other ways as well that's not necessarily a grid post or a carousel.


You're saying it's, it's a, it's a video, or maybe they're like me and they have a podcast, or they're like it when you're gonna be a guest on different shows and you can promote those things for stories or for DMS and whatnot. But then there's also a little bit of excitement, like when we do post. It's amazing because they're posting quality versus quantity. I think there's such a pressure when you're looking at all the people who are doing such a great job and you see these amazing dynamic feeds with videos and carousels and reels and iG TVs and you're like that so we need, like, I don't, I can't even think about that 10 times a week.


hoping it was so much fun to me. And I love astrology and obviously I love talking about habits. So I just bought two things that I love together. People found it incredibly relatable people were sharing it and posting it and saving it and all these things. So I can't even tell you how many replies I've gotten, how much feedback I've gotten. And, you know, is it realistic for me to post a reel that takes me two hours every time every day? No, maybe not. But no, but but the thing is, is I can keep referring people to that reel, we can repurpose content in other ways. This is a connection for people who have messaged me to say, oh my god, you totally got my sign right? I love astrology too. I'm a lot a lot. Now I'm getting to know this person like, Oh, they're a Sagittarius. Well, that's interesting. Maybe I could do more. For all the Sagittarius isn't my feet are coming up like oh, is it Sagittarius? Susan? Yeah, definitely. So so this is feedback. And this these are insights as and I know that you teach more about like actual Instagram insights, but even just the feedback alone is an incredible tool and insight for people who are using Instagram for their business to create more of that content and more added value.


Oh my goodness, so many good things today. I'm really glad we talked about mindset that actually surprised me a little bit. I didn't think it was going to come up but I love these organic conversations because that's exactly what we needed to talk about today. so perfect. Yeah, yeah. Are there any other either habits or tips you want to share today about quality connection or content creation at all?


[33:57] SR: Yeah, so I kind of just wanted to piggyback off of what you were just saying where you were talking about something that people found super relatable so I think when people kind of go at their content like they're hoping it's gonna go viral and it's this like thing that people are always trying to achieve and I think again it's like what's the expectations are so high and there's so very specific and unrealistic in a sense as well that you need to do something that's fun for you that you enjoy because it's supposed to be sold supposed to be a way to connect with people. So instead of doing it to be popular or to go viral, viral you want to do it just to irrigate your crops for smoke test also entertain the people that you know are seeing your content, right. So I think creating things that are about the people that you're that are in your audience or that you're targeting is really important. So again, a zodiac sign is something any one can relate to you mostly people that that really only believe in it, obviously, but like that's so specific. So knowing that about your target audience is really important as well. So just asking people as many questions as you can in the comment section or in the DMS, when you actually get a conversation going with people. That information is going to help you then create content for those people, right. So like, one of my clients like she's a mom, so like, I'm not a mom, but I can create content like you know, tips for moms, like you know, tips for busy moms when it comes to creating content or how to, you know, creating busy routes or creating reels for busy moms or something like that or tips for creating reels for busy moms. Like I can make a very specific thing about that. Or I can make like, like a cat lady, like real you know what I mean? Like things that like cat moms do and like all the people in my audience that are cat mom, there are a lot of the things that catches me on that they'll resonate with that right to let people make them laugh and they'll love it and that sort of stuff. So I think just finding out what you have in common with people are connecting with is really important to the life and that your content. But first and foremost, I think having fun and you know when it comes to habits, I think like the biggest habit is just like scheduling time for yourself and being consistent because it'll be in the heart habit in itself formulate, but that's why you need to start small and start slow and start being consistent with that one thing and then you can take on those other things. So I think if there's anything on Instagram that we're going to start to be consistent with, I would say showing up is super important. So just showing up consistently in general and then consistently connecting with people and trying to do those, you know, eventually simultaneously at the same time kind of thing connecting and showing up and now those are the two really important habits. There's so many people that I interact with on a daily basis really, how many days for a really long time and I'm not here to clean anybody but that is the biggest piece so if you can't engage that like I think that that's super important as well. 


[37:04] VL: Wow, so much added value. very much for being on the show. This has been really fun. I feel like I've learned a lot of different things and I also feel like this was a really great group Joinder of you know you're not having to do things or you don't you don't have to tell yourself I should all the time you should listen to yourself saying you should you should have saying you should.


Yeah, well stuff people are going to want to know more. They're going to want to learn from me more I just know it so where can we find you? Where can we follow you and how can we support your business?


SR: Yeah, great question. So you can follow me at @yourcontentbestie on Instagram. It's the same on all social media platforms to find me on Pinterest and Facebook. Well, you can also go to my website www.yourcontentbestie.com I have lots of great free resources on there to help with Instagram and content creation.


And in general, one of the things that I'm super passionate about is helping people plan their content and show up authentically and consistently so I have a monthly membership that is dedicated to just that it has tons of really helpful resources from cats and frogs, stories and reels, ideas, post ideas, hashtag database, all of those great things. And then you also get two calls a month, one springs from content with me and a bunch of other women in business, and then one call to actually plan your content and actually get it all on the calendar and schedule so that you can save yourself time and stress. So yeah, that is what I want.


VL: Those are great suggestions. I love when when guests give a call to action like that, like you can support my business by literally just interacting and engaging with Instagram. Yeah, I think people realize how amazing it is to get a response on a question sticker in your stories.


Or DM me that yeah, like let's build a relationship together. I genuinely want to help you.


RAPID FIRE

1. What are you currently reading? What’s your favourite book?


You are a Badass

https://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/0762447699/ref=as_li_qf_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=valerielavi01-20&creative=330641&linkCode=as2&creativeASIN=0762447699&linkId=4e3e41a5c1dd2ae8e505a48d1e803ac1 


You are a Badass at Making Money

https://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/B072JLQ1LS/ref=as_li_qf_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=valerielavi01-20&creative=330641&linkCode=as2&creativeASIN=B072JLQ1LS&linkId=bade3d73091bdb4ee3257a73a6137f3e 


2. What do you love most about being a woman?


Oh, okay, well, I love my sensuality and I just you know, really love like my body and the way that I feel and the way that I look so I don't know if this makes me feel super womanly in a sense, but it just makes me feel proud of who I am and that God or whoever created me helped create this lovely figure and lovely person that I am and I'm just such a you know, sensual person from you know how I listen to other people to like a friendly caress or a hug and I'm just very, you know, emotional and sensual. And so I think I, I really love that about myself and you know, happens to be a woman. 


3. What does empowerment mean to you?


Okay, so empowerment means a couple of things. So why was being able to say that's what a power is being able to get over a block or a hump that was stopping you from doing something and then evil actually removing any things that were any blockages or barricades that were in your way? And then I also think it means empowering other people, right? so whether that's giving people confidence, giving them tools, resources, anything like that, I think the power meant just means people are able to reach their goals or do something that's been really hard for them to do.


4. What are you currently working toward?


Oh, okay, well, I'm working towards where I'm a business. I recently just grew my team. So really happy about that. But I am working on increasing my income every month, every quarter and just scaling and growing in general and also my mindset. My mindset is like a huge thing as I talked about a lot and I really, really made some serious strides and how I speak to myself the stories I tell myself, and just in general like my positivity and my happiness, all because I focus on you know, having a more positive mindset for you and congratulations on some very exciting.

 

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E151: Creating Lasting Change Through Cold Therapy
 
 

E151: Creating Lasting Change Through Cold Therapy with Ashley Orr

Meet Ashley: breathwork and meditation facilitator, and certified level 2 Wim Hof Method instructor. In this episode Ashley shares how cold therapy created powerful lasting change in her life, and how she teaches others to cultivate that same positive transformation…


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[1:52] Valerie LaVigne: Welcome back to The Women's Empowerment Podcast. I am very excited to welcome a new guest to the show. Ashley Orr. Ashley overcame PTSD with the power of breath, and the cold, which led her to become one of Canada's first Wim Hof Method instructors, she wrote meditation and breathwork practices for modules for Athabaskan university through the techniques of breath and connection. Ashley creates experiences that help others heal, grow, and be assigned. This sounds so incredible Ashley, welcome to the show. I have been very excited to interview you today. 



Ashley Orr: Thank you so much, it is so great to be here.


VL: You know I have been, for lack of a better term, kind of following and stalking you on Instagram, which I love seeing all of the fun retreats and events and workshops that you put together and to be honest, it's like, it's a bit thrilling for me to watch because I'm, I'm seeing all of these people and women like going into these giant tubs of ice water, these ice baths, and I'm looking at it like I'm holding my breath because I'm just feeling the cold without even having to be there and thinking, I really want to do this, but it terrifies me. Do you hear that a lot from people?


AO: I actually do so that's a perfectly normal and regular response to the cold whenever I bring it up, and I actually didn't always love the cold either. I wasn't fond of going out into open water, or exploring nature. I really enjoyed those man made pools in 85 degrees or higher. So, yeah, definitely the cold was a new thing that I was introduced to a few years ago, and it's changed my life in the exact same resistance as you too, But that's where the growth is to.


VL: Oh absolutely and this is something that is a pretty big focus of the podcast is this transformation, and it's getting uncomfortable, and this opportunity to grow is it's not usually it's not usually a warm hot tub, it's, it's usually like the ice bath if we're going to use it as a metaphor. So, because you're the first Wim Hof Method instructor that I've interviewed for the podcast, could you share a little bit more about who Wim Hof is, and what is the method all about?


[4:28] AO: Wim Hof is an extreme athlete, he's from the Netherlands and he actually has over 26 world records. Now he found the cold when he was suffering from pain from his white, staff, and developed this method to overcome obstacles to grow, heal and become happier, healthier people. So the method is compiled into three main pillars: we dip into breathwork cold exposure and mindset techniques. It's a really interesting method because you get immediate results and that's why I was so drawn to it.


VL: That sounds really fascinating. So, what are the immediate results you speak of?


AO: Right away I noticed that my inflammation was lower, and any pain that I had within my body. It releases feel good chemicals when being oxytocin. So oxytocin is a bonding chemical, so not only if you experience the practice with others, you feel more connected to others. So you can think about team members, family members, partners doing the Wim Hof Method together and connecting stronger, but also it connects you to your higher self.


So that was a beautiful thing, it increases our cellular production, reduces stress and anxiety, helps with addiction, strengthens the connection with community, strengthens your mental alertness, creates energy and improves your sleep. I could literally go on forever because I keep on tapping new things that the Wim Hof Method is teaching me and showing me.


VL:  That is so incredible. I feel like, you know you're listing all these things and I can I can pick one or two that would definitely resonate with me, and support my, my goals and my health and then I'm thinking well yeah this list is going on like, Who Wouldn't this serve there anyone that you you recommend not doing cold therapy?


[6:34] AO: I recommend consulting with your doctor if you have any heart conditions First, before starting the method.


VL:  Okay, perfect. Oh, I'm so excited about all of this again, it's like, whenever I am really scared of something in this way where there's this curiosity I feel like this is my intuition, kind of nudging me into this direction of taking this. This ice bath so is it possible for you to kind of walk us through this scenario like assume that I've never done this before and I'm coming to you, and you've got the bath ready. What’s next?


AO: For sure, so I create a very warm, welcoming trusting environment. And we gather, and I actually take you through amazing breathwork techniques before we go into any water. I go through three different techniques where you can manage your stress, control your nervous system, and learn how the breath can either be a gas pedal or a brake. So that's the first thing that he learned, then we actually went through the ice bath, and our minds. So the practice of visualization is so powerful in between those times I'm really building trust with you. So you go into the ice bath and know that you're completely supported by myself and those around you.


Then I will teach you the little tools that are important to make the ice bath not a traumatic experience. I don't know if you've seen any YouTube videos of people going into the ice but especially the athletes, they seem to be having a really hard time on the ice. So the main thing to focus on is your breath, and I teach you a technique to extend your exhale, that takes you into your parasympathetic dominance, so that's your more relaxed, relaxing, rest and digest state. And then you go into the ice for two minutes and 20 seconds for the first time. I teach all about how the first minute is all about the mind and body trying to make itself, comfortable, and get out of this comfortable place, but there's also the moment of growth. So when we push that past the resistance, that's where all the inner strength comes from. And then you get to attack that at any time throughout the rest of your life. It's so cool because when you're in the ice bath time bends in a different way. I call it a mini vacation because not only are you resetting your body when you're setting your mind because.


Because literally all you can think about is your breath. So the lists go away. The Drama goes away, the news goes away. Everything else melts in the ice and you're the most present you've ever been, and it's really beautiful.


VL: Nodding along like yes, this is what I need and this is definitely that. And it just becoming a little bit more of a shove. A shove of your direction. And I need to know what is the significance of the two minutes and 20 seconds. I feel like that's very specific.


AO: Yes, so that's as long as you need in the ice water to reap physical benefits. So there's studies that show, you know, by lowering inflammation and lowering cortisol levels, your energy will be up for the rest of the week. I actually put in a group of co-workers for my company and the ice bath together last night. So not only did they strengthen their connection through the carpet they did something hard together which really bonded them, and I can't wait to see how their sleep was last night because they were buzzing and just so happy, and really just full of joy and excitement, so it was a really cool experience. 


VL: That sounds great. I mean, you mentioned the connection and I just thought like community team building would be such a great kind of a fun and scary way to connect with the team so I'm so glad that you said that you facilitated this group that's so incredible. And, I mean you spoke about the colors of the method and about different areas of class, I know that we try to really briefly, that you teach kind of three things about our breath, that can change the way that we respond to stress and experience like, is this something that we can use outside of the cold as well?


AO: 100% Yeah, it's so beautiful. Once you learn that you can respond based on your breath, and really control your nervous system. It just opens the doors to so much more experience and freedom. I know that I used to come from a very reactive state, I was stuck in character and sympathetic, for a long time, and I wasn't giving myself the time to respond effectively.


So there's three things. So there's three things that we can change about our breath right away. 


VL: Yeah! Let’s do it!


AO: Okay, yes. So put your hand on your chest, and then one on your belly, and just breathe as normal as you can, even though I told you to breathe normally.


So the first thing that we can change about our breath is the passageway. So notice if your breath is coming in through the nose, or in through the mouth.


If you suffer from neck, shoulder aches and headaches. It could be because you breathe through your mouth. If you're waking up after a night's sleep, feeling unrested, it could simply be just because you're breathing with your mouth. If you're feeling bloated, irritable, that could be because of mouth breathing as well. Most breathing tends to be really shallow and into the chest. Now when we breathe through our nose, we access something called nitric oxide and actually carries the oxygen to our vital organs and tissues, makes us feel rested, energized, gives us a boost of energy. The nose is actually built for breathing.


It was a big mouth breather for a very long time, and I thought that I couldn't switch over, Because you know my nose would feel clogged or stuck duck but the more we engage breath through the nose, the more the tissues open up the nose is beautiful for breath, also because it warms up the breath, the lungs are wet tissue so you want to practice the breath before it comes in. So there's so many benefits about breathing through the nose, and also comes in slower and it usually ends up in our bellies, which is the next thing that I can teach you to change your breath. So is your breath in your chest or is it in your belly?


When we breathe, our chest is usually shallow and rapid. If you notice when you're frightened, scared or stressed, what do we do, we kind of hold our breath. Yeah, exactly. And what does that create that calculation for now so we're taxing on your body so you're giving your body stress on top of an already stressful situation. The easiest way to guide your breath to your belly is just placing your hand on your lower belly and breathing into your hands. And just like any exercise or muscle, it takes a little bit of work to engage it, but the more you do it, the easier it will be to engage. And we know there's so many benefits of diaphragmatic breathing that slow down the breath. When we breathe to our center, we become more center.


And then I talk about inhaling the exhale, which is longer? Which is shorter? If your exhale is longer than your inhale, and I teach the exact same thing in the ice bath, you're going to be in your parasympathetic dominance, right, that's our rest and digest. It's very important for us to get there because that's how we absorb nutrients and vitamins. If we're eating, and we're stressed. We're not going to absorb those nutrients, so we really need to take some time. Slow down the breath, breathe through the nose, send it down to the valley. And one of the techniques that I like to use, especially after or before speaking engagements or when I'm stressed, is you can take an inhale 234 exhale, two, three, or by.


Inhale, 234 exhale 234 by six want to inhale again for four, and then push your exhale out to seven, and keep on climbing until you get to 10. I promise. After two rounds of that, which takes less than two minutes, you will feel your nervous system and body relaxed.


[16:01] VL: I already feel very much more relaxed. I was a little bit tense before our call this morning. But yeah, this feels really nice. And also just noticing, even through my belly. I feel constriction in my breath. And both the inhalation and the exhalation so just even bringing awareness to it right at the beginning I was like, Oh, I'm not doing. I'm not allowing the space that I actually have the capacity that I could breathe into.


AO: Intention is the first step. I mean we breathe over 20,000 times a day and spend little attention to it. So the day I found my breath. And then I could control it, and then my experiences, was the day that the game completely changed. And that was the day that I first attended my first workshop of the Wim Hof Method.


VL: It's so incredible. It's so amazing that you. I mean I don't know where you were exactly in your life and last time and perhaps you want to share that with us but to go to an event that or will this workshop, changed your life, so much so that you've now have pretty much dedicated your life to teaching this means that is. That's something that like when I started I recognize it as like this and it completely transformed, who you would describe yourself as before learning this so, I mean, even not not even experiencing it, that story alone has me more curious has been more excited to try it, even though it's like I said, like I keep saying it seems a little scary, but the breathing techniques you just taught and the changes are there, they're accessible they're attainable right now, they're immediate, so I can, I can see how this would be so I guess beneficial, someone who maybe hasn't brought awareness or hasn't been intentional about their breath.


[18:32] AO: Very powerful. Completely life changing my story kind of started when I was 18 I was headed for a really bright future. I was in college, really making changes, you know, based on my future and what I wanted to get out of it. I ended up breaking up with a guy that was a little older and just not serving me.


Unfortunately, a couple months later he actually broke into my parents home. He attacked me. There was a sexual assault. He tied me up, told me that I wasn't going to live that day, and also told me that they weren't going to find my body. So after that I was in reactive mode. My whole body and system was in the fight or flight. And then I chased that because it started becoming very comfortable, so it didn't end there. I followed people that were abusive to me but it didn't happen right away. They introduced alcohol and substances. I learned how to mask pain, how to hide it deep inside, so for about 15 years I had substance problems and relationship problems, I couldn't keep a job. I couldn't get my money properly because I was in such a risk laden flight.


So through the Wim Hof Method. That's when the healing really started, that's when I was in control of my body again. The first time that I was in the ice bath. I found a connection to my body that I had never felt since then.


[19:49] VL: My goodness, but that is a very powerful story and thank you so much for, for sharing that with us today that I mean I want to take a deep breath for you and just acknowledge the strength and the courage and the vulnerability that it takes to, to move out of that. learn, comfort, and trauma and stress into something so much more supportive for your, your, your life and your growth, and I'm so happy to hear that you found the thing to help you heal and reconnect to yourself. That's amazing, were you introduced to Wim Hof as like from a friend or just how did you stumble upon it seems so random, giving the trajectory of events that you explained.


AO: Yeah, yeah it is super random. I mean, I was in the corporate world, before I got into this amazing world, and I was only, you know, as valuable as the numbers I put out that day, or what I would sell. And I was surrounding myself with people that just didn't serve me or take care of me, or even care for me. So I started on it and kind of an inward journey by myself really listening to my voice following my intuition, what was that voice and what was it saying, and learned about energy. So I received a Reiki treatment, and something just pulled me. I started googling what Reiki is, where I can get in and Hamilton. We found this amazing lady. She taught me about energy and how we store it, but also how we can move it. So, through breath work we move stagnant air energy and emotion. It's an actual purge, so that's when things started flowing for me. Then I ended up at the salt caves. It was a beautiful healing studio; it's a replica of the Polish salt mines. And it was the grand opening. And a gentleman that I just met, he ran sensory deprivation tanks in a studio downtown told me all about Wim Hof, and we started talking about plant medicine, and all these other modalities that can spark something inside of me. I remember my eyes just why with excitement and curiosity. So that year I was 33. That was like the year of awakening for me, Reiki plant medicine. I hooked up with a voice actor and we did some voice I'm tapping, then the Wim Hof Method appeared and so I didn't know much about it, it was almost five years ago there wasn't a lot of information. There was, however, that Joe Rogan podcast that everybody has met Wim Hof through, and I just signed up, I signed up for something new. It was mainly a male influenced course, You know, but that's kind of his male influence for a few years going through the training and everything and that's why it's so cool to be on here today talking about the men Path Method. Having my ladies night that I have weekly taking them through the method.


So it wasn't just one thing that sparked but it was a few things that led me to the Wim Hof Method.


VL: WOW! I am welling up with tears. Usually I'm not the one getting emotional. I just feel so inspired and empowered about the story how like, you're following that exact curiosity that I've been trying to describe to you about how I feel about you what you offer and you're and how I've been following you and watching your your offerings and I feel like it's so important to have this community and I love that you're, you know you're using the messaging you're introducing it in a way that does bring this entity and this the safe space for women to come together and to do the technique because. And, I mean, as you can imagine on the show we do talk a lot about, You know, mainly it's women's empowerment, even though there are both men and women who have listened to this show, but really tapping into this, this feminine and the divine feminine femininity, so it's incredibly wonderful and just refreshing to hear that you're doing this, and I again I'm so glad that you that you were pulled to to try something new and get out of your comfort zone and really, really be with that discomfort, so I mean your story is powerful but my question for you is for people such as myself who are curious and are terrified and want to to try something new and maybe it's not an ice bath, maybe it's just something that they've heard of, what would you say to them?


AO: Follow the things that make your heartbeat that make your heart beat faster. That's the indication, just follow that every time I do something out of my comfort so I have the courage to do something else out of my comfort. And that's kind of why I love cold showers, actually. So there's so many ways that we can experience cold exposure. You don't have to fill up a huge tank full of ice and submerge yourself. You can start by maybe turning the cold, the shower too cold for your last 30 seconds of your shower, then building up. Maybe it's just peeling back layers, you know, not putting on that coat when you feel cold, stimulating the hypothalamus, that's the part of the brain that responds to environmental stressors, but also to mental and emotional stressors. So literally, when we go out into the cold, we're strengthening that part of the brain to adapt to other sponsors as well. So lean into the things that cause your curiosity.


The coolest thing about a cold shower is when you leave the cold shower. You've already overcome an obstacle, early in the day. So what are you going to do for the rest of the day, you're going to take risks. Maybe it's a hard conversation. Maybe it's applying for a new job, maybe it's quitting the job that you feel stuck in somehow there's that untapped wisdom that comes out when we do hard things.



[26:36] VL: Maybe it's applying for a new job, maybe it's quitting the job that you feel stuck in. Somehow there's that untapped wisdom that comes out when we do hard things. Oh my goodness this is so cool and I have done it. I don't even know if it's 30 seconds but I have before, changed the, the top in the shower to really cool, before I get out of the shower, I find it just like really invigorating and energizing in the morning but now I now I'm even more drawn to it because I'm like yes I want to be able to overcome something, and then that expands into the next part of my day, or whatever the challenge that arises, it's definitely confidence to say you can definitely see that. Wow. And what are some other ways that we can experience a cold exposure shape, so you said not putting on a jacket is so we live in Canada. There's snow here for a lot of the year, can we use the snow in some way?


AO: In so many ways we are so lucky to live up here, I mean once you start enjoying the cold, you have a brand new half of a year that opens up, right, like I used to be very inside all winter. Now I love summer, but I can't wait till winter appears again, because there's so much that we can play in and do Sarah actually a mutual friend of ours, loves cold exposure and just going out, when she has her coffee out into the cold, so we can do snow angels in the cold, we can do, you know, limited clothing hikes, and our master module for Wim Hof and in Poland, we actually take people up a mountain in the middle of the winter in their shorts.

E131: How to Incorporate Mindfulness Daily with Sarah Sturino

So there's tons of ways to experience that. But yeah definitely peel back the layers barefooting is an amazing way to stimulate all the receptors in our feet feel invigorated lower inflammation experience.


And I think there's something that comes from the phrase, chill out, because literally the cold just makes you chill out. It's such a beautiful grounding tool.


VL: Wow, that's so cool, it does - no pun intended, it sounds very cool and I love that you said, chill out, I never really thought about what came from that expression came from.


All of these sound, so amazing and definitely attainable. So I know that you are local to me so people who are listening.


AO: I go everywhere. I have a tank and travel, mainly right now Southern Ontario because of the restrictions. So I do travel, you know, hours away either private sessions, I have workshops throughout the province. I do one on ones I have weekly ice baths on Tuesdays, as well as Thursdays, so there's lots of ways to enjoy the cold and connect with cool people. And yeah, I just love to meet new people, so definitely come out please. 


Ashley’s Instagram: @iceplunge.ash

Ashley’s Website: www.AshelyOrr.com


VL: ​​So, maybe someone's listening to this and thinking, I feel really cold, or I feel really, I've done this before. I've heard of it before I want to go and do, let's say they want to, you know, go on a similar journey as you and become a Wim Hof Method instructor. What is this training called and how do we find the right one for us?


AO: You can go to www.wimhofmethod.com It lists all the amazing workshops, there's a free app also all our instructors but also information on how to get started with the academy. When I started with my training. It started with a 10 week online course. And then you're invited to a two day mass advanced module, either in LA, or in the Netherlands. After completion, then you move on you get to go to the master module which is a week long, with Wim Hof, and your final test is climbing up the mountain in your shorts with Wim Of course, I definitely encouraged it. The whole process took me about two years. So it's definitely something that you have to invest your time in also going fully and then keeping that practice going while you're in training. So grab your friends strengthen your practice, reach out to other instructors. The beautiful thing about the Wim Hof Method instructors is, I could go to a different workshop by every instructor and learn something new. We all have different backgrounds, there's different reasons why we all got to this place, and the learnings and teachings of the Wim Hof Method, they don't end, it's a long journey, and an awesome rabbit hole to fall down so I definitely encouraged.


VL: Wow, I feel like I'm discovering more and more and actually since I heard of you and sort of following you. I actually was hearing about when cough and cold exposure and cold therapy from other people who are not a mutual friend of ours and I, I actually learned recently that I know another Wim Hof Method instructor who was in Australia, and I thought oh that's really cool because when I met that person that's not what they were doing. So it's cool to see how. More and more people are really getting involved, and, you know, taking, taking the plunge area with the puns again. Look out by I love this idea of this community and as I, as an outsider, because I haven't done it. I haven't tried it yet but I'm very excited to.


To learn more as I'm like stuttering through this because I'm terrified in the best way possible. What I've seen as an outsider, is that there really seems to be a community that comes together and dives right in and, I mean, again like I feel like I already mentioned this but it sounds like such an incredible team building experience or community building experience and how supportive, that could be for someone through an intense feeling such as this. So, yeah, I want to just take a moment to really acknowledge you and all of the the work that you've done and the time that you put in and the people that you that you help and, You know, reading the testimonials and seeing other people do this work with you and through you is, it's so powerful and inspiring to watch, and I just have to talk myself out of the headspace, to actually do it. But yeah what your work is very important and I definitely wanted to say thank you for that.


[34:36] AO: I thank you so much. It's so neat because the cold really represents so much more, it represents fear, it represents the unknown. So, the method starts, you know, when we first start talking about it. Maybe the monkey brain starts chattering, maybe we start making stories up of why we can't go into the cold or why it's so hurtful or detrimental. A lot of people before they arrive at the workshop I talked about. So what excuses were going through your head the night before, you know sometimes people aren't getting sleep. But that's all part of the process. You get to learn about yourself, how you respond to the unknown, how you respond to stress and fear, but then you get to strengthen that part of yourself in your mind as well, Because when we leave the ice bath. We feel amazing that our circulation so you're, what is never circulated, down to the tips of your extremities like it was before natural opiates, start rushing through your body because you want to tap the natural medicine box. So then people are like that wasn't that bad. So it's a representation of how we make things up and build them so much worse in our minds. So it's another tool to control that mind and that monkey brain.


VL: That's perfect. ​​One of the tools in my toolkit is positivity and really looking for the silver lining or the the growth of the change or the, the, what the learning experience or the learning opportunity. And as you're saying all these things I've in my head like, Okay, this is why you should do it or you need to do it, you know, I was born in February, I'm a winter baby, like, come on. I was born in the. Not really. I was born inside but still. So I'm just trying to talk myself into it. But, I mean, yeah, you gave, tons of benefits, and I feel like no don't hate until you try it, right, then you can really drive this after you try it, if it's for you or not. 


AO: Absolutely, yeah I definitely suggest trying it, and you know come with a friend come alone. It is such a welcoming community, which is why I'm so excited, you know I don't have sisters, so to have a sisterhood and be surrounded by the right type of women is such an empowerment and something that we need as women and as men to find your tribe. Find your support and I really found it within this community. It's also an online community, you can Google Wim Hof you can Facebook Wim Hof, and there's so many groups that experience cold exposure and encourage each other. There's different meeting places there's different chat rooms, and literally I've met the coolest people through the Wim Hof Method.


VL: Yeah and it sounds like even if you're not local, this would be a great opportunity or a great option for people who want to try it is just finding a little Google search or a little Facebook search about that local community that's really in alignment and that energetic alignment with you that's so amazing. Well, I have one more segment of the show, it's the rapid fire round. But before we get into it, I just want to ask, is there something that hasn't been said is there something that we need to learn?


AO: definitely as cold exposure gets a little more popular, I'm noticing a lot of people, coaching people wanting to get into the cold, and I just want to maybe express the importance of working with a professional. So, just like we would, You know, seek out a personal trainer, someone that we trust with our health, ask for their experience, asked how they worked, how long they've worked with the cold, if somebody isn't asking you for a health declaration having you sign a waiver. That would be a really big red flag for me.


So just do your research. The cold is definitely a medicine, but any medicine can turn to poison so you definitely want to be, you know, taught the proper way, length of China's huge, a big thing in Canada. This year, I saw throughout the cold exposure movement and community was people really bragging about the time that they were going in the ice as Wim Hof instructors, maybe that's how we started out, we were all about our ego all about time and measuring it, but really listening to your body, is the biggest strength and biggest tool. So start off very gentle and work your way up. Don't compare yourself to other people's work, because we all started slow and then gradually worked up so keep that in mind when you enjoy the cold.


VL: ​​That's great advice. Thank you for sharing that.


So we know where we can find you and follow you. How can we support your business?


AO: By coming to one of my workshops. By following me online, engaging in conversation, all those things fulfill me in lightning.


[40:25] RAPID FIRE

1. What are you currently reading? What’s your favourite book?

Daring Greatly by Brene Brown

How to Do the Work by Dr. Nicole LePera

Radical Awakening (Audio) by Shefali Tsabary


2. What do you love most about being a woman?

My gosh, there's so many things I think we are just full of with stone and strength and grace. And that's what I love about being a woman, you know, and the other woman that I'm connected with, I'm so grateful for, they light me up they spire me they support me. So I think it's a gift to be a woman, I think, you know, we're so special and powerful.


3. What does empowerment mean to you?

Empowerment, strength, strive that we all have within, and sometimes we just need little tools to untap that so having the choice to say our true to speak our truth to move and our truth and to be fully in line. I think that's empowerment.



4. What are you currently working toward?

What am I, actually, I'm taking a course right now is oxygen advantage. So the Wim Hof Method was, you know, I put my toe into the water, but now I'm very interested in breath and what we can do with it and how we can enhance our performance either in sport or in life. So I'm training to be an advanced oxygen advantage coach.

 

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E150: Q&A: Everything You Need to Know About the Make a Habit Mentorship Program
 
 

E150: Q&A: Everything You Need to Know About the Make a Habit Mentorship Program

The Make a Habit Mentorship Program is now open for enrolment. Learn everything you need to know about the program in this week’s podcast episode…


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[00:53] 1. What is the Make a Habit Mentorship Program?

ENROL HERE: www.valerielavignelife.com/mentorship

[4:04] 2. How did you first start the mentorship program?

Check out my coaching friend Viv! E144: Intimacy Rituals with Viv Kan

[10:54] 3. Who is the mentorship program for?

[14:35] 4. Who is it not for?

[15:34] 5. What can I expect when I enrol in the mentorship program?

E149: Eliminating Overwhelm & Creating Work-Life Balance (BTS the Make a Habit Mentorship Program)

[18:51] 6. How did you become certified as a coach and how has that changed your experience?

[] 7. Are there any specific resources or people that have helped/been a guiding force for you?

 

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

Categories

Download the FREE Dream Lifestyle Roadmap

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E149: Eliminating Overwhelm & Creating Work-Life Balance
 
 

E149: Eliminating Overwhelm & Creating Work-Life Balance

Four weeks worth of group coaching wrapped up into a 30 minute episode to support you with understanding the real reasons why you’re feeling overwhelmed with work-life balance.

Continue for helpful solutions, journalling prompts, and action steps moving forward…


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[1:29] Welcome back to the women’s empowerment podcast. I am your host, Valerie LaVigne. For those of you in our Instagram community, you would have seen that we’ve spent the last four weeks behind the scenes in the Make a Habit Mentorship program - the same one that is sponsoring this episode… well sort of.


The behind the scenes look is really a mock-up of how the program works. I decided to play around with the concept after a friend of mine suggested I share this on socials as a way to give people an idea of what the Mentorship program is like. 


Now, in all honesty, I wasn’t sure how this was going to go, but here are the logistics of how it went:


I offered the idea in Instagram stories and had three different options for habits we could work on together for the month of September. The community voted and the most popular vote was Eliminating Overwhelm and Creating Work-Life Balance. Once we had our set habit, we could start the case study. I tried to keep things as simple as possible, and spent a lot of time learning as I went.


Since I was using a mock-up client, I wanted to engage with the instagram community to really understand the struggles with this particular topic. To do that I used Sunday to poll the community in stories with different questions relating to work-life balance, stress, overwhelm, etc.


The responses from the polls helped me craft the content for a weekly Instagram live turned IGTV. These lives were a look into each of the four calls we have during the Mentorship program. In each call we analyzed the data to “check in” to where we were at and offered some solutions as well as asked more in-depth questions.


Here’s where I personally found this part of the case study the most challenging: in the actual 1:1 there is an intimate dialogue and conversation. With the live, not many people were there to interact with so I offered many examples. It still lacks the connection and customization of the 1:1 program. 


However, from a business perspective this makes a great resource for future clients or anyone with questions about the program and how it works. In addition to that, the weekly quizzes and specific theme for the month was also really helpful because the community engaged really well in stories and I had lots of feedback to work with for content creation and further support. 


Now, there were a couple other things I created during this case study. The first was a follow up carousel post. The follow up was post-IG live with the key points, takeaways and next steps. This part of the case study is meant to be a mock-up of the follow up email I send to my clients. After our coaching call I send an email with key points, and homework for the week. 


Lastly, I created some additional content that was more light and motivating or inspiring. Sometimes this is sharing a relevant post, other times it is a motivational quote or a funny reel. With my Mentorship clients I also develop a close relationship with them and will send and share posts or quotes that are relevant and positive in between our coaching calls. 


Overall I think the Case Study went really well and I have lots of ideas of how I want to continue doing it in the future. I’d also like to incorporate this into the content calendar quarterly! More info to come!


Okay let’s break this down into each of the weeks.


[10:01] Week One: Discovery Call. The goal of this week is to better understand our starting point. Where are we struggling with work-life balance specifically? What does balance mean to us? What do we feel are we missing in our lives?


Based on the story polls, our mockup client is lacking balance between work and life. They work for someone else and finish work at about 3:30pm-5:30pm on weekdays. They aren’t really feeling a life of purpose, but it’s more on the purposeful side of the scale vs the neglected or lack of passion side. 


To our mockup client, having more work-life balance would make them feel fulfilled, in control, be less stressed, and allow them to do things like focus on personal growth, take more pauses throughout the day, have a flexible work schedule, sleep, and exercise daily.


When asked, “what do you need more of in your life?” the client answers: movement/activities, sleep, and money would be their top 3. Overall, they feel pretty successful in work and in life.


With this information we can use the rest of the discovery call to outline some next steps. We’re breaking things down into teeny-tiny habits this week and here were some of the takeaways…


For people who want more time, our tiny habit is: notice where you have “lost time” or have time leaks in your schedule. Do this by writing out your weekly schedule in detail to see where you can “gain” extra time.


For the people who voted for more movement/activities: get creative with adding new ways to incorporate movement throughout your day. Do 20 squats after sending off emails, add in some jumping jacks while you wait for your coffee to brew, or walk and talk during meetings.


Those who voted for needing more money in life: go through all of your expenses from last month. Where did you spend your money? Break this down into categories relevant to your spending: coffee, clothes, houseplants, eating out, etc. Did anything stand out? Were you shocked at spending a lot of money in a certain area? Can you pare-back anywhere?



The mockup client homework for the week is to focus on one of the tiny habits and bring the data or share how it went the following week. Depending on the conversation with the client, in a 1:1 setting we would also discover how this habit would best be tracked and figure out if other things needed to be done before the habit we created.


Week #1 IGTV

Week #1 “Homework”


[15:44] Week Two: Checking-in and Overcoming Obstacles. The goal for week two is to see what’s working, and what isn’t. Where are you getting stuck when it comes to your new habit and/or your work-life balance? Now that we’re bringing awareness to this new habit or area of life, we will also start to discover old and bad habits, as well as certain factors affecting us that we might not have considered during the discovery call. 


Based on the story polls, our new client is not going so well with their habits 52/100 rating and is currently feeling overwhelmed with work. The top three obstacles are: saying yes, when they really mean no; ignoring the body’s needs and signals; and not valuing self-care/personal time. Their biggest struggle with this work-life balance is time. Either not having enough of it, or not checking out on time, or not having a plan for the time allotted for work.


If I could wave my magic wand, our mockup client would need: another Sunday, spa, better sleep, a whole day to themselves, a virtual assistant, motivation, to move on, energy, and to pause the world so they can rest and also not miss out on anything at the same time.

As with any obstacle or struggle, there is always a deeper meaning. This week, instead of offering suggestions, I’m asking deeper questions…


If you’re reading this right now and you resonate with not valuing self-care/personal time, journal on these questions:

What does self-care mean to you?

Where does personal time appear on your priority list? Why do you think that is?

When do you feel like your cup is full?


If your biggest obstacle is poor planning/scheduling, journal on these questions…

What’s the real challenge here for you?

When are you saying ‘yes’ when you really mean ‘no?’

What is the ideal schedule/balance you want to achieve?


Answering these questions helps us really understand the deeper meaning behind our struggles, and how we can overcome them permanently. Week two can be a bit intense in the Make a Habit Mentorship Program as it asks us to dig deeper and be (sometimes brutally) honest. Depending on how the first week went, we’re either continuing with our tiny habit, or building on it a bit more.


Week #2 IGTV

Week #2 “Homework”


[22:22] Week Three: Staying Focused. The goal for week three is to stay focused and keep our eye on the goal, and our heart on the intention. There’s a reason why we started this habit and it’s because we wanted to feel a certain way. The weekly call is a great support in staying accountable to the goal, and honouring the WHY.


Based on the story polls, our mock-up client is overwhelmed AF. They’re feeling slightly more balanced than week one, but still not there. This week they focused on resting, physical activity/movement. And mindfulness/intention setting. 


When asked what activities they feel most fulfilled and joy doing, their top answers were: exercise, being outside, and reading. When asked why they think they keep getting stuck with balance, they answered, need to set boundaries, lack of organization, bad at saying no, need more hours, and procrastination/laziness.


By week three if you’re not doing the work, I’m going to tell you straight up that YOU are the one who gets to make the choice. Stay stuck or grow. Because you’re reading the show notes, I’m assuming that you’re choosing growth. 


To choose growth, focus on what is working. Sprinkle in little things every day that bring you joy. CHOOSE the healthy habit, even when it’s easier not to. Change comes from the small actions every day.


Week #3 IGTV

Week #3 “Homework” 


[26:13] Week Four: Observations and Next Steps. The goal for this week is to reflect on how the last month has changed for us, and create an action plan for the month ahead.


Based on the story polls, the mockup client loved the make a habit mentorship. The observations made about themselves were that they can be too nice at their own expense, they need/like alone time, and that they’re learning to listen to their body.


The observations made about their environment was that it’s a little too chaotic and hectic. Decluttering, reorganizing, and simplifying also needs to take place. And the season is changing where evenings are darker and cooler as we move into autumn.


The one thing the client can commit to in the next 8 weeks is making time for self care such as slow mornings with intentions setting and/or taking breaks indeed of sitting at the desk a;; day and working through the day.


In the 1:1 make a habit mentorship program, this would be the best time to decide if continuing the program for another month would be beneficial to the client. If they’re comfortable on their own, the new habit to focus on for the next 4-8 weeks will be more specific to creating and honouring boundaries when it comes to work-life balance.


Getting more firm with saying “no” when you mean “no.”

Not checking emails or messages or DMs first thing in the morning, and start building out a more consistent wake up and bedtime routine so that you’re getting ample rest to have the energy for busy work days.


In this type of case study, I noticed that the content was either going to be super specific for one person, or too broad for the group, so I gave multiple options on what to focus on. The idea for this fourth week is that we’re building a custom plan that can be achieved and tracked with the client on their own, however sometimes the client needs that accountability and wants to come back in one month, or continue with the program moving forward. 


Week #4 Call

Full 28-Day Action Plan for Creating Work-Life Balance


When you’re ready to invest in your healthy habits, visit www.valerielavigneife.com/mentorship to get started. I would be happy to support you with your growth and transformation.


EPISODE BONUSES:

FULL GUIDE: Mock-up Make a Habit Mentorship Case Study

Berry Delicious Smoothie Recipe

Foundational Habits

Work-Life Balance Boundaries

Inspirational Reminder

 

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

Categories

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E148: How to Ebb + Flow with Our Habits
 
 

E148: How to Ebb + Flow with Our Habits

The only constant is change, here’s how we can flow with the changing of our intentions and habits…


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Welcome back to the Women’s Empowerment Podcast. I received your kind messages from last week’s episode and I am very grateful for them. If you missed it, last week I had a little teary on the show, and it was the first proper cry on a recording haha. It was about how life and our habits can be messy. Which for me last week was a real struggle. 


However, I spent the weekend at a wellness retreat with some incredible women, and I am feeling refreshed and ready for the week ahead and the exciting content that is coming up.


Which brings me to this week’s episode! We’re focusing on the ebbing, flowing, shifting, and changing of our habits. This topic was inspired by a question I received in one of my healthy habit workshops. Kaylie asked, “How can we recognize when a healthy habit is no longer serving us? When can we know it’s time to move on vs just not feeling motivated?”


How great is that question!? Immediately I thought of the age-old saying, the only constant is change, and I also thought of how my own habits have changed overtime. 


As you’re reading the show notes I encourage you to do the same. Think of the last six to twelve months. How have your habits, routines, rituals changed through the year? Or perhaps through the last couple years?


Using myself as the example I shifted from gym workouts to home workouts over the last couple years. Although this wasn’t something I was planning on doing, the workout routine evolved over the last couple years and I am now in a weekly routine/groove that I feel very happy about.


One of the reasons that the transition wasn’t so smooth was because the change was unexpected and I was forcing myself to do something that I didn’t want to do. Which brings me to our first point of how do we know it’s time to move on?... if you feel like you’re forcing the habit.


FLOW OVER FORCE

Choose flow over force. When we’re first creating our habit or new routine, there is some structure, force, intention, and discipline involved. But the whole point of building a new habit is so that eventually we DON’T have to force it to happen, and instead it happens habitually; it flows.


For myself I was forcing a workout to happen very early in the morning. I was forcing my body to wake up much earlier than it wanted to, and in the end wasn’t getting the results and the feeling that I wanted from working out. 


Think about a current habit that you are struggling with. Does it feel forced? If yes, is this because you are in the beginning stages of your habit, or some other reason?


With my example, it was another reason. Not only did my gym close, but my daily routine changed dramatically. I didn’t have to workout at 6am, in fact my body was screaming NO MORE EARLY WORKOUTS! When I went into more of a flow, I started to workout around 7am, 9am, and sometimes 10am. I recognized the importance of a morning exercise routine, but I didn’t force it to happen before 7am. Instead, I scheduled the workout in my calendar for 9am and promised myself it would start before 10am. This flexibility and fluidity has actually made me MORE consistent with my weekly workouts and I am in our home gym 3-4 times every week.


As you consider why your habits feel forced, ask yourself questions like:

  • Is there something that needs to happen before this habit?

  • Is there an alternate time in my schedule where this habit would be more successful?

  • Why specifically does this habit feel forced?


REASSESS THE INTENTION

Another reason why our habits change is because our intentions change. There is ALWAYS a reason for starting a new habit. Whether that be a long term goal we are striving for, or a feeling we want to achieve. As discussed in many of the previous episodes of the podcast, starting with intention is very important.


The intention is the why power. It’s the motivation and the fuel for doing what we do; including with our new healthy habits.


Change is inevitable, and it’s possible that the habits we’ve built will no longer serve us, because circumstances change. Relationships change, we change, our goals change!


The question to ask ourselves is: Are my habits bringing me closer to my current goals or are they halting my growth? This is why we always start with our intention, and we build out our habits around that intention.


Let’s go back to my morning workout example. During the struggle of figuring out a new routine I was finding it difficult to workout in the garage, so I opted for daily walks and a goal of 10 000 or more steps daily. The intention was to incorporate more movement into my daily routine since I wasn’t weight training at the time. 


I had lots of success with this habit, but over a few months I started to recognize a shift in my goal and intention. I no longer wanted to just create movement. I wanted to be more specific and aim for strength in my daily movement practice. This meant less steps, and more weights again. 


Consider the habit you are struggling with. Ask yourself the following questions:

  • What are my current intentions and goals?

  • Is my habit bringing me closer to my current goal, or halting my growth?

  • Is there a better habit that can bring me closer to my current intention?


When we’re in the position of feeling unmotivated or stuck with our current habit(s), it’s important to recognize that our habits change just like we do. Let go of any guilt or shame around wanting to ditch or switch the current habit(s). 


Then, get curious. Ask the questions I mentioned above, that help us better understand where and what needs to change. 


Some additional questions to support you with your intentions are:

  • What areas of my life do I need to focus on?

  • What big things are coming up this month/quarter/year?

  • What mindset and energy do I want to channel to undertake those things?


As we go through the transition process, keep track of what is working, and what’s not working. Allow this time to be fluid, and experiment with different habits or solutions that support growth.


Ooh! Reevaluating habits could be another limb of our Monthly Accountability Meeting! Or something to incorporate quarterly, or annually. This will be something that you can decide for yourself based on the timeline of your goals.

Episode 132: Behind the Scenes: My Monthly Accountability Meeting

I hope this episode helps you integrate more intentional and motivating habits. Take some time to ask and answer the questions we went through to properly understand the introspection. If you feel inspired to take your habits to the next level and invest in one-on-one support, you can contact me through my website, or sign up for the Make a Habit Mentorship Program.


Next week we’re doing a mini training on the podcast: Eliminating Overwhelm and Creating Work-Life Balance. Until then let’s connect on instagram, find me @vallavignelife

 

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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Download the FREE Dream Lifestyle Roadmap

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Health & WellnessVal LaVigne
E147: Life is Messy, and so Are Our Habits
 
 

E147: Life is Messy, and so Are Our Habits

A little episode, with a lot of love, from yours truly. Here’s what I do when life and my habits get hella messy…


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You're listening to the Women's Empowerment Podcast Episode 147 Oh my goodness, I cannot believe that I'm saying it's almost episode 150 Episode 147 I feel like I need to give myself a big pat on the back because my friends, we are growing this podcast so incredibly wonderfully organically and just really wholly and authentically and all the leads that I can think of right now.

This week's episode is a little bit different. I am doing this very off the cuff. And I'm going to be straight up honest with you guys that life has been really tough for me in the last little while.

I was emotional this morning so I'm not sure if I'm going to be emotional right now so I apologize if I sound a little nasally or my voice cracks up a bit, but I wasn't sure if I could record this podcast episode today because of how kind of sad, I've been feeling and how I'm just not okay, I've been, if I'm being completely honest, I've been feeling very heavy. My heart feels like it's breaking often.

And I don't want to explain it on the show, I don't want to talk about it here I don't want to get into it here that's not why I'm telling you this, I'm telling you this because I've built this show, and my brand on being authentic and being real and being honest and the whole reason why habits came to be part of our the main part of my coaching and as it is right now is because I have these small seemingly insignificant and I mean, seemingly, but they are incredibly significant small actions that I do daily. And I really feel them now more than ever before, of how important, how significant they really are. When I'm struggling. So, a couple of notes I guess you could say, one, when you are building new habits to be completely compassionate with yourself, and all the things that are happening in your life. it's not meant to be perfect every day it's meant to be a little bit messy and it's going to be. It's meant to be. However, you need it to be. However, it needs to be, but it will help you over time and I think the thing that really breaks my heart the most is when I see people or when I'm coaching with people and they think, you know, they avoid me because they didn't do the work that week or they are embarrassed to tell me that they didn't do whatever the habit every single day, or you know, they'll say something like well I didn't do my workout in this morning so it's a write off for the rest of the day and trust me, my hand is up right now, I have been there I have felt that in fact this morning I pushed my workout off for 90 minutes I kept moving into my calendar or Cal two and 15 minutes, okay 30 more minutes of emails, okay 15 more minutes of this okay 15 more minutes of that 90 minutes later I'm like, oh my god Valerie if you don't do your workout now when is it going to get done just go and do it.

And you know I really thought about doing that with the podcast episode today too and I thought okay well I can record this later. And you know what, my emotions weren't changing later was coming sooner and sooner so I just decided you know what, let's get on this now, let's do this right here, right now it's a little different, but that's okay because life is messy. Habits are messy.

And as much as I love to talk about so many positive things and I really like to flip the switch and really show you that there is a positive perspective there is a silver lining in literally everything.

And as much as I wholeheartedly and truly believe that. I have to have very tough goals and tough times and I feel like this one's a little bit tricky for me to get out of that being said I have definitely created a lot more boundaries and, and I've really stuck to myself care so that's another little tip or a little note that I want to talk about today is that, you know when the going gets tough. There's that saying when the going gets tough, the tough gets going and I used to really believe that, and really work at that I would say okay well this is tough but I'm tougher, this is hard but I'm harder I'm stronger I'm faster I'm whatever it needs to be to get through this and I wasn't really allowing myself to feel because feelings are meant to be felt emotions are meant to be felt. And what I started doing instead was I flipped the switch in a different way. And when I saw that things were going to be really busy in my schedule when I know that, you know times are tough right now and I really need that extra self care. That's what I'm doing I'm plugging in way more meantime I'm making sure that I am more strict with my boundaries around work and emails, and what I'm saying yes to. I am saying no before I even say yes or I'm saying, I will get back to you at the time that's convenient for me and if that time doesn't work for you then. I'm sorry but this is that it's a no. Right, so.

So because I know that this is a little bit of a tougher time I've actually scheduled some time away so yesterday I came back from a weekend trip with my boyfriend Craig, some of you will have met him through the podcast, not too, not too far back, but Craig and I went away for for the weekend we did a little road trip we've been doing one every year, and it kind of celebrates our, our relationship together it's our second year anniversary very exciting.

So we were able to unplug and be in nature and enjoy, and honestly, I felt so amazing to be away and to just unplug for that time. I'm also going to be doing something similar. This weekend coming up, I'm going to be spending time on a women's wellness retreat where I will also be unplugging or I will also be kind of relaxing and tuning in was with some like minded people and just kind of doing different things than what I would normally do. So, why am I telling you all this because it's part of building, and being adaptable and also connecting with ourselves because, why am I so keen on helping people build healthy habits, it's because I want to help you create the best version of you I want to help you create a life that you love, even on the days that it's really hard, and instead of me saying, I have to work out today I have to do a podcast today have to go teach today. I am saying, I get to do a podcast today I get to teach today I get to work out today. I think of all the things that I'm grateful for. I'm so grateful for my health, that I'm able to sweat it out in those workouts this morning, like I did today I'm so grateful that I get to share my voice, I get to feel heard and seen through this podcast I mean we have over 44,000 downloads. I can't like can you just believe that I mean I'm like trying to wrap my head around it and I just feel so grateful for this, and I remember that, you know, setting a little intention every single day, and showing up for my community. Every day, or at least every week, multiple times a week, I should say, and being able to, to say that over the last eight years I have had healthy habits that have helped me create the Pilates studio that I've always wanted the brick and mortar studio that I've been able to create any Yes. It's hard, and you see the highlights on Instagram and on social media, and yes I strive to make this podcast as positive as possible but Frank, it is frickin hard sometimes. And I think I shared this not last week but the week before how it's been tough. It's been really tough, and without these health healthy habits without these daily actions. I don't know where I would be, and I feel like. It breaks my heart to even think about where it would be without them, where I would be without this show without all of all of the things that I do every day, all the people that I get to be around every single day. So I hope this episode is more of a little quickie inspirational reminder to let you know that if you are feeling down or sad, or burdened or heartbroken that this too shall pass. I know we could roll her eyes how many times we heard that, but even those good times pass too. So, really, whether you are elated and overjoyed and extremely happy I want you to sit with that and just know that this too shall pass so drink in every second of this, and if you're feeling quite the opposite, as I was this morning I also want you to remember that this too shall pass and it's not going to be like this forever.

It's not, it's not going to be like this forever.

We're gonna do something with me right now I want you to place your hand on your heart and take a deep breath and feel that heartbeat is my friend, is your purpose, your heart is a muscle, within your body and its habit is to beat every single day, every second of the day it is to beat, beat that tiny little heartbeat is what is keeping you here and now and alive in this life.

In this moment, is what has connected you and I together your heart, your soul, you're listening to this podcast episode today for a reason, not just to hear me ramble on.

But to be reminded of your power, your purpose, your strength, your grace.

Breathe into your heart space and know that you are not alone.

Know that you are okay.

know that you have a purpose.

And even though, life gets hard, like, really hard sometimes.

You were meant to be here.

You are loved, and you are heard.

You are wanted.

Breathe into that space for as long as you possibly need.

And whatever little tiny habit, you can do today and every day, or most days. I want you to know that that little habit is not for nothing. It is not insignificant to wake up and just think how do I want to feel today.

It is not insignificant for you to place your hand on your heart, and breathe into that space every day.

It is not insignificant for you to drink water, or to go for a walk, or to say no, or to take time for yourself.

I want you to do all of those things as often as you need to.

I think in the next upcoming weeks we're going to talk more about some more tangible things kind of like what we're usually talking about.

Perhaps we'll talk about how our habits, and flow and grow and change just like we do.

My friends, if you're not already following me on social media, please find me at Val Levine life on Instagram, I would be so happy to connect with you on a more personal level over there.

I also want to let you know that I'm doing something called mock up, make a habit mentorship and it's a case study this month that takes you behind the scenes into the Make a habit mentorship program. If you listen to the show, you might have already heard of this program before.

For those of you who don't know the maker habit mentorship program is my one on one customized coaching program that I do. The information is at Valerie living life.com forward slash mentorship. However, if you just want a sneak peek at what it's all about. Definitely follow along on Instagram with us we're into Week Three now out of four. So even though we're wrapping up in the next couple of weeks. What I would like to invite you to do is check out the igtv videos, the posts surrounding that make a habit mentorship mock up program I'm also going to make a guide for it to be easier, accessible, or more accessible on Instagram for you but whether you are ready to take the leap and invest in your own self, in your own one on one coaching with me or whether you just need a little bit more softness and some reminders and gentle reminders.

Please visit my Instagram page, and feel free to reach out to me at any time.

I will be more than happy to, to chat with you. If you are new to the show, please know that the episodes are very different from today, however I'm sure I'm going to be popping in here. Once in a blue moon. Actually, today's a full moon now that I think about it of this recording I'm doing this on a, on a full moon, no wonder the emotions are high. That being said, take a look at some of the other episodes or have a listen to some of the other episodes.

I'm sending you so much love, and thank you for holding space for me today to speak. My heart and my truth.

Maybe some waterworks and other times, I am so grateful for each and every one of you listening, And I just have to say that this show really got me out of bed tomorrow, this morning. Oh, here, here we go, here come the crackles this show really was a huge part of getting me out of bed this morning so I appreciate each and every one of you who has downloaded the show, and has reached out to me whether that's on Instagram or via email to tell me how much this has affected your life and your well being.

It means so much to me

more than I could even express in words.

So… from my whole beating heart thank you so much. Thank you.

 

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E146: Healthy Can Be Simple
 
 

E146: Healthy Can Be Simple with Tina Gravalos

Join Nutritionist + Recipe Creator Tina Gravalos, as she gives us easy tips to make healthy simple and delicious!


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This week’s sponsor of the Women’s Empowerment Podcast is my Make a Habit Mentorship Program. This is my exclusive 1:1 customized and personal mentorship experience that helps you build and stick to your habits and routines. The program is over four weeks, with weekly check-ins and accountability between sessions.




Make a Habit Mentorship is for you if you’re ready to be done with the cycle of habit starting and habit quitting. Make a Habit Mentorship is for you if you want to start the habits you’ve always wanted to start, overcome the limiting beliefs that make you want to quit too soon, and truly stay consistent with your goals so that you will feel healthier.




I am Valerie LaVigne, your Habit Mentor, and I’m here to hold you accountable to the new self-care habits you know will change your life. If you’re ready to invest in becoming the best version of yourself, visit www.valerielavignelife.com/mentorship today.




___________________________________________________________________________




[1:28] Valerie LaVigne: Welcome back to The Women's Empowerment Podcast. I am very excited to introduce you to Tina Gravalos! Tina is the founder of simply Tina, where she shares simple and sustainable nutrition for all lifestyles. Tina loves creating easy to follow recipes with a healthier twist that anyone can whip up. She believes that food should be enjoyed, no matter where you're at on your wellness journey. Welcome to the show. 




Tina Gravalos: Hey, thanks for having me.




VL: Yeah, it's such a pleasure to finally get to do this I know that we've been chatting about it for a little while. I love following you. I love seeing your wellness journey, your growth on Instagram, especially like the incredible food photos you take, every time I go to Instagram, I'm like, I need to eat this. I'm so hungry now. This looks delicious. Oh my goodness. Amazing. So I have to ask, How do you come up with all these incredible recipes?




TG: I get asked that all the time and sometimes people just think it's really this like complex process but I I'm really intuitive so a lot of stuff just comes from things that I love to eat or I see someone else create something and I immediately am like, oh, I can use the similar kind of recipe but tweak this this this or oh I have a better option I can add like you know a different fruit or like mix it up and so I kind of just like lean in with my intuitive side and it doesn't sound as exciting but it works.




VL: That's amazing and I love this whole simplicity, behind your brand. I mean, simply, Tina, how and I always talk about what when I talk about habits like how can we simplify it, how can we make it easy. How can we make being healthier and nutrition and, you know, what we're eating every single day, How can we just keep it really simple, but keep it really healthy so I know that you like to talk about the basics too. Can we jump right into that?




[3:48] TG: Yeah, absolutely. So, I, my brand didn't really start out this way. It was so when I went to nutrition school I kind of thought you know I had to be this perfect nutritionist and I had to eat a certain way and I had to try all the superfoods and I had to share all that all the time and that's kind of what led me, spiraling down like a health crisis of my own. I found myself binge eating a lot of things in my car and secret, and this was during school and even afterwards as well. And I would you know Monday I'm going to start this diet or you know I'm going to drink all the water and do all the things but it did not work for me. And then one day I was just like I don't want to feel this way anymore. So I kind of just sat with myself and was like, What do I need to make me feel good, what is going to turn my health around, and I started to really go back to the basics of what nutrition is I whipped out my textbooks again and I have this one is literally like 700 pages, and it's literally called like the fundamentals of nutrition. So I went and I started reading I didn't read the whole thing because that's so I went in and just, okay, what are the basics, what do I need, what can I feel my body with, and it's basically just taking out all the complication of things and going, Okay I need protein I need healthy fats, I need carbs in each of my meals, and it doesn't have to be this like elaborate recipe every single time it can literally just be like a piece of chicken, some vegetables and rice like very simple, so I just broke everything down. That way, and I started noticing a difference right away with like my energy like I was feeling stronger, all the things and then that's where simply Tina came into play.




VL: Wow, thank you for sharing that. I think it's really powerful to hear that, especially coming from someone who is like, seen as a leader in the industry, right, and I feel that pressure to as a as a fitness teacher and as a studio owner like you have to look a certain way you have to be active all the time you have to be doing things all the time and you know they're you're human beings still.




TG: Exactly, exactly.




VL: And the pressure doesn't make it easier, that's for sure so good for you for sitting with yourself, and you know really having that compassionate conversation with yourself and recognizing that, hey, this isn't where I want to be, but you also have the tools to change that, and you did it!




TG: You didn't change that so it wasn't easy but there was a you know there was a lot of two steps backwards type thing one step forward, two steps like a lot of that, a lot of tears. A lot of you trying to explain things to like my family and my friends and they were just like, Oh, you're fine. It's okay, and like, not a lot of people understood and just a constant battle of all the, all the elements.




[7:09] VL: Well, that is a massive courageous leap that you've taken so I really want to acknowledge that first and foremost, and it does lead me to questions for people who maybe don't have the tools or the, you know, maybe, maybe they're not there with the mindset yet, and they don't have that same courage so do you have any advice in terms of like the the mindset and the emotions and like the mental health piece of you're going into those physical changes like actually changing what you're eating.




TG: Um, I think the thing that helped me the most was setting intentions for, like, every area of my life, and instead of saying okay, you know, I, you know a lot of people they make New Year's resolutions and it's like I'm going to run every single day, but they don't run, they never run so they set themselves up already for failure. 




What helped me was setting the intentions okay I want to feel stronger I want to feel energized, you know, I want to get better sleep, all these things so what I did was I took those intentions and was like okay well what can I do to make all of those things happen. So, the stronger part could be well I'm going to go for a walk, twice a week maybe started off twice a week, or the Energize piece I'm gonna start incorporating more like vegetables and this and that into my meal so I started very small like that instead of making these huge goals that once you you know you make those and you fail and you just don't want to do it again, and you go into this like cycle of the same kind of thing. 


That was pretty much the driving force for me around changing everything and also not listening to everything else around me, because there's so many things, it's like, eat this. Don't eat that, or do this, don't do that, my friends eating kale, but like when I eat kale I feel terrible like it's just, you really have to focus on what's good for you and run with it.




VL: You and I are living a parallel life! [laughs].




We always talk about intention. Well, not always but we often talk about intention on this podcast and how important it is to be intentional when you're creating a new habit when you're setting a goal, and it's not so much like, I want this goal I want to run, or I want to, it's I want to feel. It's how do you feel, and why do you want to feel that way. And, you know, as you're describing it in your own experience, I'm thinking about like, yeah, that's how I started back into my workout routines, it was, it wasn't like one day woke up and was like, 




Yeah, I should probably get back to working out at 5:30 in the morning again, it was okay you know what, something needs to change. I need to add more movement. I was feeling really low about not being able to lift heavy weights that I used to really like it changed a lot, but you know a lot happens in a year when you're not at working out, And it started with walking every day and just a little bit more every single day, and once I hit those 10,000, steps a day like that was my main goal. Took me two weeks to get there consistently. 




And then, you know, another month went by where I was doing that I was like okay I feel more confident in myself, not listening to anyone else exactly like what you said. And I guess this is just like another example of it but then I was like, Okay, I'm ready to workout again I'm ready to lift weights again. And it's okay and it was almost like I had to prep and prime myself with this, these little things to build that confidence that the simple walking like everyone can walk.




If they're trying to start their movement practice, you know, it's free. And then, you know, and then now I'm on like week five of lifting weights again and I'm actually tracking the weights that I'm lifting and I'm like, Finally it's starting to lift a little heavier I'm still not where I was. But yeah, I have to start somewhere and you have to you have to be like really compassionate really gentle with yourself, but still have that little push. So yeah, I'm so glad you said that because I feel like the intention piece is so it's so huge and a lot of times.




[11:51] TG: When I work with clients, it's one of the questions I asked them to have like, how do you want to feel or how do you want to show up in your life. If you have kids, like how do you want to show up for your kids and you can see like they're kind of taken aback by the question because like no one really asks me that usually with, you know some people have seen health practitioners that are just, you know, they get in there and they prescribe you with whatever it is and all that and they don't get to like the root of what's really going on or what's really going to help someone move forward.




VL: And when I have consultations with my clients and I ask them what are their goals for, whether we're training together. If they say, or if they start by saying you know I want my summer body or I need to look like this for my wedding. I can almost guarantee you that if that is your goal, that's okay, but just know that it's not sustainable, whereas if someone says, I want to show up better for my kids, I want to be able to go climb this mountain, and live this healthier lifestyle. That is a lasting intention that God has an intention that creates lasting change. So asking those deeper questions really gets the wheels turning so that's amazing that you that you offer this with your clients.




And when people are working with you, so you are mentioning that, you know, it's the intentions of not just the nutrition side of it, you were talking about how, like, when you were looking at it how do you want to feel in different areas of your life and you just kind of gave an example of asking your clients, how do you want to feel with your kids around your kids. So what are some other kind of areas of life or other questions that we can maybe ask ourselves, as we're figuring out our intention.




TG:I would say about gratitude like going back to what are you grateful for every single day, like what do you when you wake up in the morning, what's like your first thought if someone says to you, the word gratitude. So, I find that if you can set up a practice like that like a gratitude practice and ask that question in the morning and even at night to like I do both, but it helps to.




It helps to set the tone to for like what you want in your life like sometimes I'll wake up and I'm just, I'm grateful for this body that you know, I, that allows me to wake up in the morning to get out of bed and all those things. And I find that it helps it trickles down into everything really.




VL: Yeah, that's amazing and I've actually spoken to you about this before, but you have an abundance journal, and abundance practice can you share a little bit more about what this is and maybe how we can create our own abundance practice? 




[14:47] TG: Yeah I get so excited I talked about this. I started this, I want to say I think it was January or at the end of last year and I just one day was, I think I saw something that kind of triggered this thing in me to start writing about things like happening, day to day So, literally, it could be something like, I found this parking spot in front of the restaurant that I'm going to or somebody bought me a coffee or I, you know, went out for lunch with my mom and she bought me lunch like little things like that.




So I started writing it and it's not like I don't sit there and write like pages and pages it's literally I'll write the date and I'll say like one little like bullet point of whatever it is.




And then I started noticing these cool like shifts in my life where I would rate the abundance part, be grateful for what happened and then cool opportunities are coming, like I would get a new work opportunity or I would get something else for free.




A company wanted to send me something that I really enjoy little things like that and I look back at it, like daily now to from the beginning of January and it's so cool to see it evolve, and all you need is literally a notebook, and just a pen, or you can even do it in your phone if you want, and you'll see like a huge difference in your life a guarantee it. I'm gonna stamp that approval, I guarantee you that you'll notice a difference.




VL: I want 100% agree and I have done this before but I will I use it as like a gratitude journal but really it is like, I'm grateful for so much abundance in my life. And at first, I promise you I rolled my eyes! “This is so dumb, whatever”




This is so dumb, like whatever, I'll try anything like whatever like I'll try it I guess. And I joke about that with people and I was like, listen, I know it sounds all crazy. Yeah, but it freakin works, and I think it was within two weeks, which is not that long of a time, to be honest, huge shifts Yeah, my mood was incredibly different. The things that were being attracted into my life like or that I was attracting into my life like it was so amazing. And you notice that like that one bullet point, turns into three bullet points, and then there's four bullet points and then five and then you're like, Oh my God, I need a new piece of paper because so many things I'm grateful for today, and yeah it's really amazing and I will definitely also say, I guarantee it. 



TG: And as someone who would again roll their eyes but, yeah, definitely roll their eyes which is so funny, but another cool thing is, so I started also. So like in order to like receive your, it's nice to give as well so I want a recently put in my story, Starbucks gift card and I said, whoever wants to get a coffee like coffee's on me literally that same date, so I play roulette sometimes on the oil g website for anyone in Ontario. And I was just playing like It's like my guilty pleasure. I won $550 And I was like, oh, cool like abundance, so that was really, that was so amazing I remember I measured that and I was like, I love like guilty pleasure I feel like it's so why should I need to ask everybody now.



I'm like, roulette. Like what, oh my god I love it when you, when you said that on, on Instagram and your stories I was like wait what. Yeah, I was very surprised but I loved it. That was so much fun.



VL: I mean you offer, like I said you offers so many great tips and tools and practices and recipes. I mean, everything, like I feel like you do it all. How do you do it?



TG: Oh man, I wish I had a clone some times. I just, I'm really, really passionate about what I do and ever since switching my brand to simply Tina and getting into more of the recipe development side, I just, I love love love love what I do and I feel it I can do it for hours on end and the time just goes by so quickly, but I, what I really love is when people messaged me thanking me for sharing a simple recipe or just a simple tip, whatever it is that I get so emotional sometimes because I just want everyone to feel amazing and you know the way I take my photos too I try to make it simple like how I just replayed it and just instead of having so many different things around the photo like obviously those pictures are beautiful you see online but sometimes you make the recipe, it doesn't look anything like the photo so I tried to do it that way and so I think entice people to, to make this stuff and make it approachable.



VL: That's what I was gonna say you definitely make it approachable and exciting, and like I just find when I go to your, your photos I'm like, It's fun, it's fresh, it's exciting. Like, I get excited about food for people listening who are thinking like, Oh, totally inspired to simplify! What would you say is this the best place for them to start?



[20:41] TG: I have this thing called “My Feel Good Kitchen” but I just randomly came up with, But it's basically the process of, you know, going to the grocery store, and literally just going in with opening an open mind and kind of scanning the aisles and seeing what you're called to sort of so if it's like broccoli or whatever it is you can, you know, go in and look at it and just really like think about, okay, like what can I do with this, what can I do that I would actually enjoy like I, there's so many vegetables that you're underrated and everything that people just seem them and like it doesn't taste great but like there's so much you can do. 



And I find like people get discouraged with the taste of things so it's like, what can you bring to that broccoli like what flavors do you love. So if it's like garlic or like onion powder, whatever it is like just kind of think about it in a way that you enjoy, and literally take it from there and then it's even the whole process at home, like the whole cooking aspect and like cutting everything the way you like it and, you know, putting in the pan, the way you like it and the plating aspect and sitting down to eat it like it is just a whole, like, a whole thing from the beginning to the end and I, I like to talk to clients about that like just go to the grocery store like just literally browse, they're like yeah but you know I don't like this, like so don't pick that Pick something you like, it's like really that really that simple.



VL: I like this, like, kind of like a ritual, right, like you're going in, you're allowing yourself to just be intuitive. I mean, I am definitely someone who comes in with a little bit more like the masculine energy. When it comes to this kind of thing I'm like okay, I've got my list.



But I am the person in our house who does the grocery shopping, I typically make the meal or at least I prep them or organize them however, so I'm going to put you on the spot here, and maybe you can help me.



So I love brussel sprouts



TG: I love them too girl!



VL: But my partner Craig doesn’t like them. But I want to be eating brussel sprouts. So, sometimes they'll eat them. When I make, so maybe like some ideas about what I can do with make them yummier.



TG: You can either make them into chips, so they're like crispy so I will like I'll cut them off but then I just rip off like the leaves, and then I will either put it out on my hand and with like just like olive oil like salt and pepper or you can even add garlic in there, but you can do it in the oven too to get them prosphere And like literally they'll. They're crunchy like chips so that could be something you could try, or even, I don't know if you guys eat bacon or anything but you could whip it up with bacon on the pants so delicious that way,



VL: MMMM That sounds good! I never thought of that!



INSTAGRAM | @simplytinag



WEBSITE | www.simplytina.ca



Check out her website for offerings, virtual workshops, recipes, and nutrition consulting.



VL: I really wanted to say that, like, I wanted to acknowledge you for bringing to the table. I like to bring into the episode that you know the journey really has a lot to do with the mindset and the emotion, and more of the rest of your life. Even though I'm such a foodie too! I'll eat just about anything or I'll try to rephrase it that way.



But, you know, there, there are a lot of different, I guess, voices, online, or heard growing up for that we're coming into contact with her we're like, do we listen to you. We follow and really like keep saying, you know, tap into your own intuition, connect with what you saw something really cool yesterday someone shared with me like I started making my to do list as things I want to do things I have to do and are things I don't want to do. And then the last thing was things people want me to do other people.



And I thought, Wow, that's so cool and then they said something along the lines of, I don't usually even get to that third part of what other people want to do much happier that way.



And I think that's so important is to like be so self aware that you just keep reconnecting with you and what your body needs and what your, what you want, and what makes you feel good, I don’t like kale either.



TG: Yeah it's honestly it's not the best like it's really not that great and to be honest, kale started off as like garnish on the lake. Thank you. It's not like says the nutritionist I'm like listen, and also kale, is like not great for your body. So I mean, we could ditch the kale. I always tell people my kale, that stuff is for the, the, the dressing in the deli window. 



VL: Yeah exactly, it's just sitting as decoration, that's not real food. Yeah.That's so funny. I love that. I always tell people it's like the diva green because you have to massage, you, you do you got to get in there with like the olive oil is a whole, whole thing. Please don't get massages every time I'm treating the kale better than my own body here.



Okay, my dear, we have a final rapidfire segment. But before we jump into it, I want to ask you if there's anything else you need to hear. Before we jump in?



TG: I'm just gonna say that. You got this to people, whoever is listening to this, and if you want to make the changes like you got this, just literally run with it. It's my line, “run with it, run with it.”



RAPID FIRE

1. What are you currently reading? What’s your favourite book?



I'm actually not reading anything, I am a super nerd and I read my nutrition books like that's, that's what I'm doing. Sounds exciting. No, that's great. I mean, like I said you're a leader, you're a teacher, you know, you need to keep educating yourself.



I gotta keep up with the trends.



2. What do you love most about being a woman?



What do I love about being a woman. I feel like about being like fearsome like strong and empowered and really talked about that already, but I feel like that is just associated with being a woman like it's just so many components of that and we've been through a lot of stuff in our day.



3. What does empowerment mean to you?



Empowerment means that. Oh man, a lot of things but I feel like I've set boundaries for myself, and sticking to those boundaries and not letting other external things get in the way of my life purpose and all the things that I love doing.



4. What are you currently working toward?



I really want to have my own studio where I can have a kitchen and a little store in there and do all of my food photography and stuff there so I'm really pushing to get that done.



VL: Well, this was an absolute blast, you are so hilarious. I'm just so happy that you are following this incredible passion of yours, and you do amazing work for people, and like I said, following your journey in the beginning you mentioned that you have grown in such a beautiful way and the way that you share that with people is so approachable. Yeah like that simplicity. It's refreshing, and I feel like there's so much heaviness expectation, you know, mixed messaging. You teach, and you read, inspire in such a whole, beautiful and amazing way so people need to follow you, they need to chat with you!

 

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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Health & WellnessVal LaVigne
E145: Reset Your Healthy Habits
 
 

E145: Reset Your Healthy Habits

When life comes at you like a ton of bricks to the chest, reset your Healthy Habits. Here’s how to do it with compassion…


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[1:32] Welcome back to the Women’s Empowerment Podcast, I’m your host Valerie LaVigne. I have to be honest and share that my energy isn’t as excitable and upbeat as it usually is while recording my podcast episodes. So if this is your first time listening to the show, please know that the tone is generally more positive and a little livelier. 

As always, I do my best, and some days that means showing up even if it’s not glitter and gold, it’s me and it’s authentic. 

If you never miss an episode you might notice that this particular episode is coming out one week late. Yep. Last week was the first week I hadn’t published an episode since starting this podcast a few years ago. 

I had a lot of guilt, shame, worry, frustration around this and eventually I let it go. I was able to surrender to the fact that an episode wasn’t coming out because my mental and emotional health needed my attention more than my weekly podcast did. 

Yes my friends, your Healthy Habit coach has been having a really hard time coping with life lately and even though I practice daily intention setting, gratitude, mindfulness, and physical wellness - the weight I am carrying on my shoulders feels a lot heavier than what I can currently handle.

Why am I telling you this?

A few reasons actually. Firstly, life is fucking hard. Owning a business is also really fucking hard. And right now both of those things are weighing very heavy on me. So heavy that I’ve come to the realization that I need a reset. 

In the past several weeks I have hit tipping point, after breaking point, after burnout, and so on. And last week I finally said, “I’m done.” My body is done. My mind is done. My heart is breaking and I need to stop before it’s too late. And it already feels a little too late. 

So that’s the bad news. BUT as always, I do find the positive in everything so here’s the good news:

I’m not alone in the way that I’ve been feeling. I’ve had quite a few conversations within my instagram community over @vallavignelife and we’ve been chatting about a collective low energetic vibration as well as how not a lot of people are sharing the hard part of running businesses. Which is also why I am sharing this with you.

They told us not to judge books by their covers, well don’t judge businesses by their social media accounts either!

Not only am I not alone in this, but I also have an extended toolkit with the power to help myself and others elevate their vibration and their habits. 

Which is why today,  I’m teaching you how to build a strategy and take ACTION to reset your habits and get back on track and feel better in your body. 

If you’re feeling anything like I am, this episode is for you dear one. 

[6:33] Before we begin, I encourage you to take an entire day off in your calendar to really hit reset. If you can take multiple days off in a row, do that. It doesn’t mean you have to go away for those days, but actually take a proper day off work/life. 

I’ll use myself as an example as I blocked off Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday off in my calendar. Here’s how it looked:

Friday I worked from 9:30am - 12:30pm with a 60 minute break for exercise in between that 3 hour work sprint. I spent the better part of the day cooking new food which I love, and eating with my family and catching up with each other.

Saturday, my partner Craig and I often sleep in (relative for us) and head to the farmer’s market. This time we bought so much fresh produce and flowers. Supporting local businesses and farms, spending time outside, and fresh cut flowers make me very happy and fill my cup. After breakfast we explored a new hiking path together and ended up at this beautiful river and spent time enjoying the sun and the peaceful sounds of the forest. Later we played board games and swam, and relaxed again at home.

On Sunday I went grocery shopping for any other food we need (that we didn’t already get from the market) for the week - this is something I do every week and technically it’s a chore), but it didn’t feel like one because it’s more of a ritual for me as I enjoy this alone time and choosing healthy foods to incorporate into our meals for the week ahead.

I also did 30 minutes of emails and some podcast work Sunday. 

Self care elevates our mood, increases energy, boosts immunity and makes life a lot easier to handle. So does balance and rest. 

I’m going into detail with this because I want you to see how taking time off can be making time to do something different, or it can be making time to do NOTHING. We didn’t schedule anything in. If you know that specific tasks NEED your attention and NEED to get done, then allow 30-120 minutes per day to get those tasks done. Delegate the rest. 

[10:17] Speaking of “rest,” take some. The weekend I took off I went to bed relatively early and I didn’t set any alarms to wake up. Believe it or not I woke up a bit early but I felt SO rested when I woke up because I wasn’t waking up with an alarm. I really prioritized rest, and the only goals I set for myself were to stick to work boundaries and to sleep as much as my body needed to.


Your body heals when you are sleeping. Take time to rest, recharge… and now… we can RESET!


I always aim to make the content on the podcast as tangible as possible, so here is how we reset our habits when we break it down into steps.

[11:25] Step One: Rest & Recharge with Compassion

We’re all doing our best, so take a moment to breathe and give yourself some grace. It’s okay, we’re going to be okay.

If you can’t take a full day off, make a point of scheduling in some downtime into your calendar. Time-block your self-care, even if you can manage 1 hour a day. (P.s. 1 hour is 4% of your day, you can definitely manage that). Once you’ve put it in your calendar DO NOT MOVE IT. You have to take time to rest. No excuses. 


[12:10] Step Two: Come back to Your Core Values

In episode 111 of the podcast we talked about creating habits based on core values. What were the core values you outlined in this episode? There are countless resources for understanding your core values, but they really come into play with a lot of the components of my Coaching practice as well as in many episodes of this show.

Core Values are our fundamental beliefs and guiding principles. Everyone will have a different list of core values, and everyone’s core values will mean something different to them.

One of my core values is ADVENTURE. To me this means worldly travel, but it also means trying new things, getting out of my comfort zone, meeting new people, experiencing different cultures and traditions, exploring nature, and more!

CREATIVITY is another core value of mine. To me this means doing things differently. It also represents innovation and expansion; turning something old into something new; seeing different viewpoints; experimenting.

Write out each of your core values, and include a definition or personal meaning for each of them. Once you have your list, you’ll be able to move to the next step.

[13:36] Step Three: Start Where You Are

Take stock of your current habits (both good and bad habits), and make note of the ones you want to change (eliminating bad habits), and/or perhaps you want to improve (make good habits better).

[13:57] Step Four: Reset by Replacing Old Habits with New Habits

If you’re not already writing out your Core Values in a notebook or on a piece of paper, then get it out now. I’d like you to make a three column chart.

Column One: write “Old Habit”, in Column Two: write “Core Values”, and in the Third Column: write “New Habit”


Here are my examples:

#1 My current bad habit is that I’ve been procrastinating on my daily walks because they’re a bit boring and I’m so exhausted that I’d rather lay on the couch with my legs up the wall. 

Core Value: Adventure

New Habit: instead of a daily walk, I schedule a weekly hike. As we head into the autumn season it will be so beautiful to watch how the leaves change colours and explore some new trails. 


#2 Another bad habit I have is eating chocolate late in the evening/snacking before bed.

Core Value: Creativity

New Habit: replace late night snacking with a different indulgence like a warm cup of tea, or a relaxing bubble bath and a good book. Opt for self-care like a gua sha face massage or a cooling sheet mask.


[15:14] Here are some extra tips I wanted to share with you when it comes to resetting your habits.

TIP #1: If you aren’t sure where to start, focus on foundational habits like food/nutrition, rest/sleep, and mindset. Sometimes the best resets come from when we reboot our foundational habits, TRUST ME: a good sleep goes a long way!


TIP #2: Make the new habits teeny-tiny! This will make them easier to achieve and will help rebuild your motivation and confidence. You can scale your habits little by little and watch the exponential progress toward your goal. Remember that a tiny step forward is still a step forward.

TIP #3: If you’re really stuck on eliminating bad habits, relisten to episode 138: Eliminating Bad Habits


TIP #4: Always begin with compassion. Step one of the reset doesn’t just apply here, it applies along the way. We all know that it takes time to build, and rebuild our habits - especially if your bad habits have become very automated since it’s easier for us to lose sight of our healthier habits. Do your best, and if you miss a day, reset the next day.


TIP #5: Remember the Core Value behind your healthy habit. This is your “why power” for doing what you do. When your habit is value-driven, it’s more satisfying and you are more likely to do it.


TIP #6: Plan for challenging situations and obstacles. Don’t play like you aren’t going to come up against some sort of pushback. We are our own worst enemies. What could go wrong? No really… ask yourself, what could go wrong AND how will I avoid or overcome this?

TIP #7: Stack habits. This means adding a small habit to something you’re already doing each day. For example, take your vitamins when you eat breakfast. Drink 500ml of water before you have a cup of coffee.

TIP #8: Track habits. Whether it’s your bullet journal, an app on your phone, a sticker in your notebook, or checking off a date in your calendar, figure out a way to keep track of your success with your habit. 

Hold me accountable for my new healthy habits, and I’ll hold you accountable for yours over on instagram, find me @vallavignelife !


If you are having a hard time coping right now, please reach out to me. I would love to connect with you more and hold space for what you are going through. I know the pain and the pressure and I know how hard times can be. 

You are loved, you are here for a reason, you have a purpose on this planet. Focus on the small, seemingly insignificant habits that you do daily, and I guarantee your life will change. There is power in baby steps and tiny actions. Start today!

 

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E144: Intimacy Rituals
 
 

E144: Mindful Intimacy with Viv Kan

From Yoni anatomy, to intimacy rituals with ourselves, and with our partners, Viv teaches us so much incredible wisdom…


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[1:32] Valerie LaVIgne: Welcome back to The Women's Empowerment Podcast. I am very excited to welcome Viv Kan today to the show. This is a mindfulness coach who helps busy individuals transform their intimate relationships by connecting the mind, body, breath, and yoni. Our mission is to help women and couples deepen their connection with the self and others through normalizing and educating the practice of mindful intimacy, pleasure and desire. I love all of that, I think this is so amazing.



And I have to say, I, I know I've mentioned this to you before, but I love the way you approach this topic, I love the, the gentleness, the femininity, the, the care behind your, your approach and your business so I need to know because, so let me backtrack, let me backtrack a lot I'm getting excited, Viv and I met at our mindfulness, health coaching training.



Four years ago now four years I want to say?



Viv Kan: yeah, yeah, 



VL: we met in Mexico. It's been a while since we both been coaches for a while, so I love seeing the people from our program and seeing how they've taken this mindful health coaching.



I will probably all have that same kind of foundational education but we've done our own thing in a different way. So, as you know, I'm habits coach I talk about healthy habits, and you work with this mindful intimacy, so I need to know how did we get to this point.



VK: How much time do we have?



VL: As much time as you take it. Coles notes is good too.



VK: Yeah, coles notes version. Well okay first of all thank you for having me. And it's so good to be here on your podcast I'm honored. And I love just seeing what you've done, and you're such an inspiration as well so let's just get started with that. And for the audience who are listening as a mindfulness coach to start.



I started helping corporate individuals, and also corporate wellness in terms of employees and I noticed that, okay, you really want to perform very well at work you want to be efficient and want to be productive, killing it up work careers going good. All right, so then you give so much on your of your energy at work and then you get home and you are completely depleted, and I can really experience this myself, when I was in a corporate environment before I became a mindfulness coach that I was just at zero battery. When I got home, and the relationships we have in our life and the quality of those relationships really help determine the quality of our well being. Overall, so yes great relationship at work could be pretty good. But what about your personal relationships, and the fact that I see people get so disconnected between their minds and our bodies. It is a whole phenomenon. Now, we are constantly stimulated in all these other ways in our minds and getting constantly distracted losing our focus can't concentrate. Even sensations in the body and tension in the body, we tend to ignore.



And so when we get home, we have that 1% of battery left for ourselves, and left for our partners and left with our families. And that is a big issue. So it really started with that and understanding that's the disconnect really happening in our personal lives. Effects are holistic wellbeing.



[5:38] VL: Wow. Yeah, I mean, I feel like, wow, yeah, I mean, I feel like that's all very true for a lot of people.



Definitely I think that this, we live in a time that the work is very prioritized, I would say. And you know, you are expected to be that high level employee or coworker or boss or whatever your role is in the workplace, I'm doing air quotes workplace. And you're right, like, yes, there's an abundance of energy in the world. Yes, people are burnt out, they're feeling that depletion and who really suffers not only yourself, but the people in your home and your partner. So,



this is so important for a lot of people, a lot of women as well. Yeah, I think women, so just like pulling out women now, the expectation goes beyond. Now we have to work even harder in the workplace. Yet, we were also expected to also be that maternal partner Mother, you know homemaker, whatever the case may be, there is even more of an expectation. So, yeah, yeah, you're hitting the nail on the head. 



VK: Yeah and I love that you emphasize women, because when we have this amazing career, and we want to obviously be self-sufficient, independent financially stable, as a woman.



There is a lot of masculine energy. There's a lot of masculine energy. A little bit of the aggressiveness in our career. 



We're going really fast pace, especially, you know I'm in Hong Kong, so this is a very busy city. It's a busy city that doesn't stop. And there's all this masculine energy that we are putting on ourselves and we're putting out into the world. And so you get to work. You have a whole day at work, and then you might pick up the groceries, and they have to maybe prepare dinner and then maybe clean, and then when you get home and get into bed, then you're supposed to be this. Sex Kitten in bed and supposed to tap miraculously tap into your feminine energy, and I'm not saying that masculine energy is not good for females because we need masculine energy in our life. However, feminine energy and I love vow that you pose a lot of feminine and masculine energy I love that content that you post, we need a balance, right, and I know you can vouch for that masculine feminine energy needs to have a bit of a balance but with what we are trying to achieve in our lives. Most of the time, the masculine energy dominates and it's hard for us to then tap into that feminine energy softening into that energy slowing down, getting more sensual feeling the sensations of our body breathing, loving, opening. And I think a lot of times people have lost that touch in our lives. 



[8:55] VL: Mm hmm. Yeah, thank you for saying that I do like to share about creating a balance, and I think it actually stems from the sort of looking for preventative, so it's like the preventative way of not leading to burnout, and that's through balance. So, you know, there's, there are times when our energy might be overly feminine, and that actually can be really slow, and you know, there is like lack of clarity in the goal, right so there's room for like what you said both masculine and feminine energy so I love that, that we're talking about that today. Now, I've got to be honest, I feel like you're going to jump right into it. This is not a topic so first of all, I'm so excited that you're here because you are the first guest that I've had on the show to talk about intimacy, and I, I don't think that I talked about this enough, even with my own, you know, personal friend network like I, I don't hear this conversation enough and I feel like there are a lot of taboo conversations out there that are becoming a little bit more normal. For example, money, money, I find is becoming a little bit more of a normal conversation especially with women. But I don't hear this as much. And I don't know why that is and maybe you can share why this conversation seems to be so taboo. How can we have these conversations with our friends, how can we normalize this?



VK: So, the reason could be partly, you know from a lot of research and, as, as a female growing up. What did we learn in sex ed. I mean I, we, we both grew up in Canada right so we learned in sex ed, at least in Canada, how to not get STDs or STI, how to not get pregnant. How to put on a condom, and maybe a little bit of our menstrual cycle, but that's pretty much it.



We didn't learn the pleasure centers of our Yoni, which is, by the way, Yoni is the female reproductive system, and the female organs of generation, it's the Sanskrit word for a sacred womb sacred place.



VL: That’s so beautiful



VK: And we didn't before. Right. And we actually, we didn't even learn that, by the way vagina is incorrect when you want to describe the whole female reproductive system that genitals, you can't see vagina to describe the whole genitals because vagina is only internal outside is called the vulva and not a lot of people know that we say, you know we say badge. You know we say punani, We say, different, different words, different words to describe but it should be really all encompassing, which should be Yoni in Sanskrit which is the language of yoga and you know, we're both yoga teachers as well.



So, our, our sexual education going up. Wasn't that in depth, and so no one told us where the different types of erogenous zones are where the illiteracy is, is it above or below the urethra the pee hole so a lot of people even know what the urethra is.



And the fact that even for example the clitoris has 1000 nerve endings, which is almost twice as much as what a penis as which In Sanskrit we call Lingam. And so, it is also the most sensitive part of a female body. And it's the organ on the body, that is meant for pleasure. Yet no one ever teaches us that.



And so, and because there's a lack of knowledge, Val’s like yeah, uh huh



VL: I'm cringing, I'm cringing, but it's true. Like okay, I have to I have to interject, so it wasn't until I started using tampons when I was probably 16, that I realized that your pee hole, and your, your vagina, were two different things. My mom was like, Yeah, you have three those three holes.



I'm looking at this diagram in the pamphlet of when you open the box of tampons and I'm like, This was me did not learn this anywhere like even my mom didn't tell me about this, and I had just the only thing I remember from grade five, you know when they separated the boys and the girls for sex ed. I just remember how uncomfortable. The teachers were like, Oh, awkward talking to us about this, and it made it really scary. It made it really scary to to learn and I was afraid to ask questions everyone was giggling and embarrassed like. You're right. You're absolutely right about this. It all started back then. I can remember this day, so vividly anyway continue.



VK: Yeah, a lot of funny story. No and and I, You're not alone because I have the same sentiment which same experience where I, I wanted to start, start using tampons because going swimming, being more active. And I remember my mom was like don't use tampons, I was just gonna stretch your stretch your vagina out.



VL: Right, right.



VK: Yes, yes. And so I didn't, I haven't done that then I thought I was like I don't want to stretch my vagina out and I'm not going to use tampons, and then really, it got to the point where I was like, no I need to use these tampons because I need to be more active.



And it was just way more convenient and who wants to use pads nowadays. And so, like you mentioned, just looking at the diagram the pamphlet, you're like, Wait, hold on, how do I do this and I had to ask friends and the friends would be like, Oh yeah, you just put it in the applicator just stick it in and just follow up just follow that no one teaches you this stuff and so to answer your initial question of, how is it so taboo, it's because the knowledge isn't even there, and when the knowledge isn't there from school, the people that you talk to that you grew up with your girlfriends. Now, we still don't talk about it in a lot of cases, because we just don't know and what you don't know you just don't know. And if the opportunity isn't presented in your face of all this information that you can learn about, about your body, you're not going to actively seek for it, Unless you're really curious. And also there's this whole shame. Right. And, and I know about, you know, I talked to you before, even about our bodies, about exposing a little bit of skin about wearing something a little bit more short. 



VL: I remember growing up just wearing something, I showed my midriff about, you know, to two fingers like two inches one inch of my midriff was just shameful, close your left, showing too much skin all the boys gonna look at you, you're, you're getting too much attention. So why am I forgetting. Well that's the thing I'm writing a spaghetti strap talk right now, but it's a measure.



And if it wasn't two fingers, and then the next year it was three fingers and it was like just give us a uniform if you're going to do this like so, a girl at my in my class in elementary school. She had her midriff showing to the point where it was like, only kind of if you raised her hand, would you probably see it like the shirt was just like, teeny bit shorter. The teacher went into the loss of found found a scarf, and made her wear it around her waist to cover her mid draft, I was sent home on time because my, my tape topless the straps were too thin. And I'll be honest with you, when I was, I probably started developing breasts at like age 11 like I was, I was probably one of the first girls in the class to get boobs, and people were noticing. I mean, how could you not notice I was noticing that my body is changing, it's, that's a really scary again, really scary time and an uncomfortable time as a woman, as a person as a girl, becoming a woman. I felt very isolated I felt very confused. It was, you know, out of your control, and I was shamed for this publicly in front of my peers, and I just remember thinking like, I can't let this get to me, like, you know, it was just one of those things where like I felt very mature for my age, I mean, I wasn't mature for my age compared to the other girls in the class but for the teachers to to point me out to single me out to take me outside the classroom and say, you need to change, or you need to go home or you can't wear the shirt anymore, But one of my best friends in class, she had the exact same shirt on as me, but she didn't have any boobs he actually hasn't she hadn't developed that yet. And I said to the teacher, but this person is wearing the same shirt as. Why didn't you pull her out of the classroom and the teacher straight up said because you have boobs.



And, I was just a 13 year old. Can you are 12 or 13 year olds like the shame imagine.



I mean I still remember this and this was 17 years ago. It was a long time ago, I remember this moment, but yeah it is it is a bit traumatic and it's uncomfortable, and now I I mean, I've evolved, I feel like more and matured more in my own self esteem, but to still remember this and think like now I'm thinking like, I really have to be mindful of how I speak to, I mean, I try to be mindful of it anyway but, like, really be mindful how you speak to two girls who are developing and in those developing stages to humans, going through these changes like it's so important and I don't think that the teachers really recognized this type of languaging and in the effect it had on me at the time.



[19:30] VK: And the teachers that had the effect on you, and then breeding people of our generation or people of any future generation, and also will have that mindset because I'm going to bring this up because I remember very vividly you told me a story how you were in a parking lot to go when I first met you, you were wearing a shirt, I don't even know if you remember this. You were wearing a shirt, and you have an amazing body, let's just say that amazing body. And you were walking out of your car, you're working in the parking lot and then some girl yelled at you and said watch from afar, do you remember this, you told me this, 



VL: I don't remember this, but okay.



VK: You said this because you were talking about your, your chest and how you have to cover up sometimes and. And this random girl saw you in a parking lot and just yelled at you, out of nowhere, not knowing who the hell you are, and called you a slut from afar, just because of how beautiful your body was.



VL: I appreciate that. I appreciate you saying that. I mean like I, so I have a lot of conversations with women, about, and this is a little bit off of our topic today but about like our self esteem. And there are movies about this, there's a funny one, I can't remember the name of right now, with Amy Schumer, and she like, She like hits her head and she thinks that her ball, shoot as she goes that spin class right yeah so but yeah, but in the, in one of the scenes in the bathroom, she's talking with this like supermodel who's like in tears, about, and she doesn't think she's pretty and like everyone wants to look like Victoria's Secret models are whatever that's, that's the, the false representation of women right and how women want to be they apparently want to be this way. So really it's about the confidence that you were right, confidence is our best accessory. It's our if it's not even an accessory it's really like a foundational piece but I have definitely learned that we are all going through our own stuff, and we all have our own insecurities, including myself, and hearing how other people talk to themselves or think about themselves, and then there's like projection on other people. So, whoever that was who yelled to, you know, that person is obviously not okay with themselves or not okay. And I really like, I mean I started the Women's Empowerment Podcast. I wanted this to be a space, a platform where women can come together, where women can share their story share their voice be heard, feel accepted, feel her feel listened to, and really empower and motivate and inspire other women to to rise up, I think, apply I truly believe that all ships rise with the tide and, you know, the more outbursts, you can yell at another woman like, let's not, let's just not do that anymore, with each other out there to say, your body so beautiful, beautiful, very different bodies. They're both very beautiful, and, like, I don't know I just, I don't have any tolerance for bullying, and that sort of thing. However, there is a side of me that is a compassionate person that says, what you're going through is really tough. And I'm sorry that you feel the need to share these outbursts, with me. Right and I think that's really important as someone who is on the receiving end, to understand. It's not about me. It's not about me, that person is going through their thing. Anyway, I felt felt like that was important.




[23:19] VK: Yes, absolutely. And on the outburst thing. It's the judgment the internal judgment, even if you don't have the outbursts, right and this is how, you know, starting about starting talking about being mindful, is how mindful are you actually with with yourself and with other people, are you judging other people and are you judging, then yourself as well. Because mindfulness for people who don't know what the definition of mindfulness is, is the awareness of your thoughts, your emotions, your sensations and your feelings, in and around the body and your surrounding environment, with no judgment. Mindfulness is a practice, it means that you do need to practice this like you're training your brain like a muscle. So that's very very important when we're going about our day to day relationships. People approach us and of course with our body image. And going back to the taboo, and the shame that we had growing up about our bodies then stemming into of course in our bodies is the vessel where we can host our pleasure and our desires, and of course where we don't know what our pleasures and desires because we don't want to expose ourselves because it was seen as something that was so wrong and bad and shameful, yet all of a sudden, when you then get to a teenager and you start dating, you're supposed to be this Vixen, and you're supposed to know all about sex and all about your body and be really good in bed because if you don't beat your if you're not good in bed, then no one's going to love you.



We were taught that right so all of a sudden we're supposed to blossom into this sexual female amazing being when in our tweens and teenagers we were never, ever taught. So this is what I am, my mission is to make mindful intimacy, mainstream.



VL: Oh, I bet. I love it, so. Okay. So I think really getting to that point of normalcy is being open to having these conversations as difficult as they may be, you know, get out the giggles get all the discomfort. I feel like the more we do something, the more comfortable, we're going to get with it so I feel like it's safe to say that we can start incorporating these conversations. Can we take things a little deeper into maybe more like the self care rituals and learning how to connect to that mindful, intimacy, learning how we can connect the mind, the body the breath, the Yoni together, how do we do this, where do we start.



VK: Yeah, so one of the things that I want to emphasize as we think about self care as bubble baths face mass massages, you know your basic stuff.



But actually, when you really look at sex, good sex is so good for our well being, So, it's good for our blood pressure or cardiovascular health, to help strengthen our muscles, especially because we're strengthening our pelvic floor. It helps with our confidence it can help strengthen our relationships. So when you look at all of this, all this research about good sex and how good it is for our well being. How come it is not part of our self care repertoire, because it's not innate because of everything that we just discussed. So, how we actually start is to understand what your Yoni is, what does it look like. So if I asked you to draw a diagram of your Yoni like an anatomy textbook and label the outside and the inside the ovaries the fallopian tube the g spot the a spot the clitoris. The Bachelor opening the urethra the vulva, the labium adore the way beyond all that stuff. Would the listeners, would you be able to do it without looking on Google?



VL: Personally, absolutely not. The one spot I don't the who? the what now? I mean it would be hilarious. I would try it and I would laugh at it, and I would, I would be slightly embarrassed but also I would think like okay, this is obviously the opportunity for me to now learn about these things so okay we need I you know I used to do this more often. I used to take a mirror down there and explore and look at these things I didn't know what they were called.



And I feel like I still don't know what everything is called, but I definitely don't do that anymore like I don't have that same personal, intimate connection with myself, as I did, like, when I was kind of learning about this in school and trying to figure out like hey like this looks different than I used to have like what does this make you know it's not easy to look at you need a mirror to help you.



VK: Absolutely. So that's that would so step one is to know your Yoni know the parts of it, understand the anatomy, because you use it you have it every single day you own it. And the second is like you said, use a mirror so we call it Yoni gazing, and that's really to get to know how it looks like and.



And by the way, most of my 100% of my clients, they can't draw, they get stumped as well, when I ask them to draw the diagram which shows you how little we know about ourselves how how disconnected we are in ourselves, and then when I ask them to put a mirror and look at their yoni. A lot of times, they're like, Oh, I don't, I don't want to look at it, it's just like, Ooh, you know, a little squeamish, but the Yoni is a beautiful thing. Think about how strong it is, it can birth out a baby. That thing is so strong it can birth out a human out there, he can experience over seven different types of orgasms. 



And like I mentioned, just one little spot has 1000 nerve endings. It is such a beautiful thing that we need to embrace and really start embracing owning this yoni. So, anatomy, understand the anatomy Yoni gazing and then owning it. And you know how we spend time like we make an appointment and we get our nails done we get our hair done right we carve out time to do those things. But how can we don't carve out time to give ourselves pleasure. Embracing pleasure. Right, and, and of course I mean pleasure in different ways but in this specific context, it's your pleasure around your yoni.



So for example, okay. The clitoris is the most sensitive part of the body, but did you know that the clitoral actually looks like a wishbone, and the nerves and the tissue stem all the way down to the labor to the lips to the outer lips, and that it looks like a wish ball, no one knows this, and



people don't people don't realize that wow, okay, when you are exploring yourself. Start to touch yourself start to touch it like carve out that time to really enjoy the pleasure. So I'm going to go back to a Lingam, to the penis right. The tip of the penis is very similar to the tip of the Cuadras. And when we stimulate the penis, how many people just touches the tip of the penis, without stroking the actual shaft to in gorge, it with blood. So similarly with the clearest, why would you just touch the tip of it, to stimulate your clitoris, when you should know by now that it looks like a wishbone so you actually need to massage the higher clearest and by the way the anatomy of the clearest, that looks like a wishbone was only discovered by researchers in 1998.



VL: OH EM GEE!



VK: It’s 2021 by the way for the people who are listening. 1998 was when the full anatomy of the clitoris was discovered that elliptica wishbone stemmed all the way down to the lips.



VL: Oh, and I'm just learning about this today so I was today years old. You know what I don't even have any shame, I don't even have any shame because the good news is, I'm learning about it now and better late than never. Goodness gracious, I got a lot of Yoni gazing and touching. I'm going to carve out that time on time.



[32:24] VK: If you're getting your nails done, your hair done, you've got that time to do that.



A lot of it is also due to how, in terms of the scientific field and researchers, it's quite male dominated. And because it's quite male dominated. A lot of the time, this research is lacking. That's why we only discovered this whole anatomy in 1998, and also a little note about that is you know only 25% of women can orgasm via penetration, right, like going into intercourse, or females can orgasm on the outside. So start on the outside. Why is it that we think that if I can't orgasm through penetration I can orgasm with intercourse or something wrong with me, because the research is so male dominated that penis and vagina sex means that you get an orgasm because the penis uses itself, and it feels a pleasure to go in, but it ignores all the amazing parts on the outside of the vulva. it all makes sense now, doesn't it



VL: Right.



VK: So this is why we need to explore because if you don't explore, you're not you're going to not know about your body and you're going to, then how are you going to help your partner understand your body, right, with some of my workshops, the people who come, it's mainly cater to females and when the females come and they go, this is really a workshop for males. Five. No, I said, How are you supposed to guide your partner? You need to connect with yourself first, own your pleasure first before you let your partner pleasure you.



VL: Okay, so this is actually a great segue point to a listener question from Hannah, and she asks, how can we be more vocal of our needs to be able to get to this point of intimacy where the other partner can give us that pleasure, give us that orgasm that we can give ourselves so definitely I think there are a lot of people who are so disconnected or lack the connection to themselves that they can't pleasure themselves, but then for the people who can find that their own pleasure. How do they vocalize this to their partner?



VK: Well the first thing is, understand that timing is key. So to start timing is key and what I mean is, and perhaps some people already know this, so on average it takes males, two to seven minutes to climax.



I say the average of course for the men listening could be a lot longer than that, but two to seven minutes, but for females, it takes 20 to 40 minutes.



So the way I describe males and females, males is like lighting a match. So, you light a match, and then the match goes out and you cannot relate to it



So there's that refractory period for men. For women, it's like boiling water, it takes time to for water. A once you get that water boiling I guess a boiling, boiling points master climax, and then.



And the water stays warm for a long time and that's why women can have multiple orgasms. So when you know this timing right, you need to then match the timing between, let's say, this is for heterosexual couples, you need to then match the timing, but if you don't know this I need to acknowledge this as, as a couple as your partner, then dirted there's a disconnect, there's a misalignment there. So first understand timing is key. First, it takes time.



VL: Sorry those analogies are awesome, I love. I didn't know that was the time. No, that was the timing, I am learning a lot of things today.



VK: ​​The first thing that's important is timing. I may timing, understand that the timing to climax is different for males and females starkly different, if you think about oh yeah, for play for 1015 minutes is not enough and also for play starts way beyond the bedroom, before the bedroom starts throughout the day, maybe even the day before, and it's also contextual so pleasures contextual meaning if something happened during the day if you bumped into an ex boyfriend, if you had a stressful day at work. If the kids are pissing you off, all these things, it's going to affect your pleasure, right. So when you're then commuting, communicating with your partner, just feel that if you're not feeling it in that moment, You're not feeling it might not be. It might not be.



Okay. And when then you're communicating and let's say, Okay, let's say you're an individual that really understands your body, and you are really good at pleasuring yourself. Let's say you're like okay, I know my body I don't need gays I pleasure my Yoni my vulva I know all the different types of orgasms. The way that you can guide your partner is tell them that what you like when you're doing it on your own, and even guide for hand start with a hand member only 25% of women can orgasm naturally. So start with the outside start playing around you're exploring this territory and this terrain together, which is a very different feeling and a different experience, and you're exploring it on your own.



For the people who haven't explored themselves yet and don't know about how, what can pleasure them yet. The first step is explore yourself first and then explore the terrain with your partner, and it's very very special and it's a very beautiful process that you can navigate with your partner.



VL: So, I love everything that you're saying and I think it's so important and it's almost like you're giving permission for us to do these things, right, and we haven't. Well, a lot of, I mean I never, I was never given permission to do this by from anyone else, you know, you're kind of on your own with this one. So I think it's really nice to hear this, and to hear this permission from you.



It's also nice to hear the statistics and know that, okay, you know, it's, it's okay That I don't orgasms actually it's okay that I'm not gonna say that I don't know all those things, because you know you're not alone and I think that's what's really is the expectation again like oh I'm expected to be the sexy kid and like you were saying I was I'm expected to be the sex goddess like, yet you're don't even know yourself this way so that's the perfect place to start. And, you know, just kind of biting the bullet for lack of a better term, and exploring that with your partner as awkward or silly as it might seem in the beginning but I think it's, it's that simple.





Simple just like opening the conversation and using brands and, you know, making it, making it Okay, making it comfortable for both. I mean, like I know for myself like I want to make sure that my partner is pleased and then they want to make sure that I'm pleased so, you know, forget the awkwardness like just have that conversation with them.



I feel like that definitely deepens the connection as well.



[40:10] VK: Yeah, and a very important part is having a conversation, of course like vocal allies during it because even though, if you're, if your partner's really good at reading body language, and some are, some aren't. It’s great.



But having the conversation after your, your experience with each other. After what felt really good for you. Oh yeah, I really liked it when you did this and I, my body I was feeling all these sensations really be present, be present, of course, during the process and using the breath, by the way, very helpful because using the breath, you're stimulating so you're breathing in nitric oxide which expands your blood vessels meaning when you're expanding your blood vessels. The blood goes to your Yoni, and you need to endorse a Yoni to let it open, think about a flower, it needs to open can pry a flower open and force it to blossom. We need to let it happen naturally. So when you're breathing in and out through the nose nitric oxide. So to help with that, and staying in this present moment, and then even after your sexual experience or intimate experience with your partner, have a conversation with your partner about what you really liked and be present and listen, and your partner needs to listen and how that really in depth, intimate conversation because that is super valuable. Because also, workplace starts at the end of your last orgasm.



That's when foreplay really starts.



[41:43] VL: Okay, so I feel like we're gonna need a part two…



VK: So much information.



VL: We're learning so many things. Yeah, so this is all super. I'm so glad you're doing this because I feel very comfortable asking your questions.



VK: Yeah, there's so much to know.



VL: There is and something we kind of chatted about before this episode in the recording, were some of the ways we can incorporate intimacy habits so I'd love to kind of move into that. I know you talked a little bit about how we can get to know ourselves and that can definitely be a part of it, but is there anything that we can you know do with our partners in terms of those types of habits and intimacy this way.



VK: Yeah, yeah, absolutely. So I'm assuming everyone showers daily, right. Hopefully everyone showers daily. If you've been on lockdown maybe not every day, but a really good way to build intimacy with your partner is to shower together and actually lathering each other in the shower, and exploring the body that way and, and it doesn't have to lead to sex in the shower, whoever's listening it. It's an exploration process, and like I said it could be part of foreplay because foreplay can start anytime after your last orgasm. So, a part of that as a ritual. And I want to say, ritual, because it is so special is intentional lathering each other up and there's something really sexy about that when you're doing it with your partner.



And then you're all nice and clean up for. So that that's something that's very obvious because everyone needs to shower, so that's a very good start into making a habit. And when I say intimacy, it doesn't always lead to penetration, doesn't always lead to.



And then after the shower, moisturize, I love to all my own I love moisturizing, moisturizing on my own and even doing it in front of the mirror, you can even do in front the mirror with your partner and your partner can even watch you moisturize yourself you can moisturize each other right in different parts, different parts of the body, and, and again staying mindful and present and breathing while you're doing this and being really, really sensitive to all the different parts that you like and communicating that was like, Oh, I like it when you massage my inner thigh. I like it when you touch my glutes, in my butt. I'd like it when your finger strokes down my lower back. Right. So doing little things like that is an amazing way to lead yourself to build up the foreplay towards perhaps sex later on.



[44:36] VL: Yeah, that's great. Now, I'm trying to think of like all the ways I'm like, How can I make every other mind sexy?



VK: Yes you can, even you can even do a little, even when you're undressing before the shower. It can be something that is, you know, not just like flopping your clothes on the floor, it could be very sensual, everything can be very anyways.



VL: So I'm just picturing this tonight okay so just bear with me. This is hilarious. So, I'm just picturing not telling Craig that we had this conversation, and then just start stripped using before the shower and he's gonna be like “What the hell are you smoking?”



Just like... “Oh we're trying something new. Okay!?”



first so you do funny, but I think it's so funny you know what, I am someone who I really encourage playfulness, not just in my partnership in my intimacy but also in habit building and with my coaching practices like, like how can we make this fun, and I feel like that masculine energy, it's really, it is really of linear energy that is one track, we go from point A to point B, but the balance comes from. Okay, we have a goal and you know sex isn't how to have a goal but you know what I mean the masculine energy has the root starting here and we're ending here, But the feminine energy and for women this balance is like, how can we incorporate more play and pleasure. If we're talking about intimacy, how can we incorporate one connection. How can we incorporate more being present and not focusing on the end goal but rather focusing on the here and just trusting that it brings us to the end. And so I yeah I just love the idea of, you know, trying these things out, of course, other than showers every day, of course we need to take her clothes off to get in the shower like blind before, right, and it can be really fun. I know that in the past. Actually, the top that Walmart has a top but it's actually a bodysuit and Craig bought it for me. And I really like it and so something that we do is like, whenever we get new clothes we do like a little fashion show for each other I mean make it fun. I mean make it silly and I hope he's okay with me sharing this.



​​You know, like, it's an intimate, you know, not like hiding behind a dressing curtain like changing like I'm changing in front of the my partner and like it's, it's fun and it's sometimes it's sexy and I'm like, Oh well that's a nice new pair of like boxer briefs that you got or like that new shirt, it doesn't even have to be a sexy thing, it could just be like, oh that's a new dress that I have and I'm trying it on for you like to show you and to connect with you.



VK: Yeah, I, I love that you're using these like, really basic things that we've already do and just bringing in that play and that pleasure to them so well, so simple because it's not like you have to specifically carve out time to do these things, especially, even before you get home.



When you're at work right let's say in the morning you put on a pair of panties underwear lingerie whatever you want and you have a date night, or you have, you know, a night in, and even just messaging each other messaging your partner, like I'm wearing something really naughty underneath and I'm just going to come home and you're going to have to find out what it is.



VL: Oh, right. Okay.



VK: And then when you then start to get into the shower and start addressing each other or you can undress yourself and your partner can watch and then it's, it's like a build up on top of that, and it's it's beautiful and it's how you make it playful, instead of text messaging each other. Hey, what are we having for dinner tonight we're going to order. What should we watch out now.



VL: This is literally me, I'm like, go to the grocery store after work, what do you want. What do you want? So funny. I love that.



VK: Well you know what it's funny that you say that so now that you're saying this like boiling the water thing and it takes 20 to 40 minutes for women to for females to orgasm. I was just reminded of this time that I bought the sexy lingerie. I wore it underneath my dress to go out for dinner and like the whole time at dinner, I was like giddy and like giggly like trying to make sure that you couldn't see it under my dress and like it was a little bit awkward because it wasn't the best dress for, for what I was wearing underneath. But I was getting, like, really heated up and like excited and I was excited to like surprise my partner with what I was wearing underneath, and it was almost like that was what was longer than 20 minutes that dinner but, I mean the whole time at dinner, it was like foreplay and he didn't even know. Yes, I didn't even know yet.



VK: Yeah, well they only need two to seven minutes so they don't really know until the very end. But for us, when we feel good when we feel sexy when we feel feminine when we feel intimate with ourselves and that and I love that because you were feeling intimate with yourself, actually, because he had no idea.



But for us, when we feel good when we feel sexy when we feel feminine when we feel intimate with ourselves and that and I love that because you were feeling intimate with yourself, actually, because he had no idea.



VL: It's so awesome, I love that. Oh my goodness, I feel like we could talk about this all day long.



Okay, I again like we're just gonna have to have you back on the show to talk about the rest, because this is like gold. I love it. I love this conversation. Thank you so much. So where can we find you? Where can we follow you, how can we support your business? All the things. 


INSTAGRAM @mindfulintimacy 


[51:45] RAPID FIRE ROUND



1. What are you currently reading? What’s your favourite book?

Come as You Are - Emily Nagoski



2. What do you love most about being a woman?

Wow, I love that question. Oh my gosh, you didn't even tell me this beforehand. Okay. What do I love… how free. I can feel my body, so free. Yeah, and just loving every part of it.



3. What does empowerment mean to you?

empowerment to me means having confidence. Not just physical competence, I want to say confidence in yourself, your mental confidence as well as owning what you're putting out in the world, and really having a strong intention of what you want to put out in the world and, and just helping other women. And this is why I do what I do, because knowledge is great, I'm giving out knowledge but knowledge is only power, if you actually use it. So this is why I want people to build these habits to really start to get intimate with themselves and with their partner and that's very empowering for me and for other women.



4. What are you currently working toward?

Well, so I didn't tell you this though, but I am working towards moving to either Bali or Thailand, by the end of the year, and it's just a place that's super spiritual huge community of these types of women who really want to empower each other, and not just intimately, but just letting all that feminine energy and divine feminine energy release. And I, I love Bali, or Thailand really both places a beach and water, and I feel like I'm, I'm a hole when I'm there so that's what I'm working towards. 

 

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E143: How to Make the Most of Your Exercise
 
 

E143: How to Make the Most of Your Exercise with Tiffany Ricci & Kendra Miller

From flowing through your female hormone cycle, to maximizing your energy levels, plus what to eat before and after your workout, and more!


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[1:31] Valerie LaVigne: Welcome back to the Women's Empowerment Podcast. I'm very excited to welcome two new guests to the show. Tiffany and Kendra registered dietician, nutritionist Kendra Miller and Tiffany Reiki, are here to help you improve your health through nutrition and exercise, they have experience with a variety of other athletes, ranging from those who are just beginning an exercise routine to ultra endurance competitors, looking to improve their performance. Kendra and Tiffany know what it takes to get your energy back and improve your performance through healthful nutrition coaching, accountability and support. Welcome ladies to the show so great to have you. 



And we touched on this a teeny little bit before we started recording but in the guest submission One of the things that we kind of learned about you was that the two of you have only met in person, two times. And when I read that I thought, oh my goodness, like how do you run this business, where you're not actually together and so I'd love to learn a little bit more about your business and how you, how you do this?



[2:36] Kendra Miller: Well, I would say that it started, virtually in the first place, because we were both living in Alaska and as we know Alaska is a very fast and wonderful place, but it's not close together so a lot of our communication that we had was via email and patient whether it's Skype with a tie him or something of that nature and it just carried on from there, we really connected and when we met in person finally with the Alaska Dietetic Association, it we just hit it off, and we were in very similar places in life, and the friendship just blossomed from there and when we both decided to move down to the lower 48 was around the same time. And we're like, Well, where are they? Again, you know our worlds collided and we were back in the same place in some capacity not physically, but in more of that other realm. And we're like, oh well we want to work together, we want to continue to help specifically moms to really understand their health and fitness through nutrition, and so with that our business develops and we continue on with the cross country entrepreneurs, you have today.



Tiffany Ricci: we stay connected with Marco Polo, and, and weekly meetings that we meet on Zoom. Every Friday so that we are not missing out on much.



VL: It's amazing that you have these systems in place and I feel like that's so important to running a business, but obviously to be running it virtually across the country is also so important so yeah that's amazing that you have these tools, and I think this is quite, quite a gift to to entrepreneurs and to these type of networks and communities is to have this technology that really brings us together. So, the moms that you support and that you help, are also all over the US are they all over the world. Where are they?




TR: the moms that we work with, we work with online so they're all over the place. We have some, I mean, locally and then also, in many different states, I don't think we've had anybody



KM: oh no one international in Germany right now, We've had some in England, and I don't know if anyone else but those are the two countries that I know besides the US that we're working in.



VL: No Canadians yet?



KM: Not yet.



VL: That's so crazy, I would have I would have guessed that you would have had Canadians well maybe after this podcast because I'm based in Toronto Canada so yeah I never know we could open that up to it, but we're actually here to talk about something a little bit more specific when it comes to the health and wellness industry I feel like there are tons of topics that we can kind of reach into and discuss a little bit more about, and we're here to talk about making the most of our exercise, and when I saw this, this kind of specific topic I got so excited because I'm a health and wellness coach. 



I am a Pilates studio owner, and there are, I guess, myths, there are a lot of myths or just some ideas that don't always serve every single person, and I love working with women because I guess there's just this really cool innate flow to to who we are and how we work, and how we work out and how we get our energy so I was really excited to talk a little bit more about this and really cover like moms but also women so, take us away who wants to start.



KM: I can start because I think you've nailed it whenever you started talking about women have this flow in their life and that's so true because once we hit puberty, we literally have a flow and with that, that also affects our nutrition, and we can't look at our lifestyle without looking at our cycle and so a lot of what Tiffany and I do is looking at the whole woman, and seeing okay well where are you at in life, what are your hormones look like, know our day to day life, what how that affects our nutrition what our new trician needs during that time, we know that the latter half of the cycle, your energy increases by eight to 16% your energy needs. And so your, you should be getting more food during that time. That's why we crave things and so we work with our clients to really understand how to work with your body, rather than against it so you can get what you need out of not only being interested in but also your exercise, too.



[7:24] VL: I'm so glad that this is being talked about because I recently finished the book. Woman Code by Alisa Vitti and I'm just obsessed with her. She has a new book coming out, but really talking about our monthly cycle and how it's broken into these four kind of phases, this wasn't something that I was taught when I first got my period, this was not part of a conversation and health classes is not a conversation with my mom or any other kind of female figures in my life. 



Being able to now, at 30, being able to now read this book, and, say that okay what I'm going through feeling this law at this part of the month but really excited at the next part of the month. It doesn't have to be a 24 hour cycle in fact it's closer to that 28 day cycle. So, I mean, it's life changing for women, and I'm so happy to hear that this is part of how you work with women and how you support them. Do you mind if we talk about each of those four phases and maybe like a hot tip for the exercise in each of them.



BOOK: Woman Code by Alisa Vitti

https://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/B009NFNBO0/ref=as_li_qf_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=valerielavi01-20&creative=330641&linkCode=as2&creativeASIN=B009NFNBO0&linkId=bda24d7d662a7d185932ac7c344b651e



KM: Not at all. So when we talk about our cycles, I'm gonna pull up my notes here so I don't forget anything but when we're talking about our cycles we're dividing up. For those of you that don't know and to the four phases. 



[FOLLICULAR PHASE]

So we have our menstrual cycle we have initially a follicular phase and that time right after we bleed and that's the time that we feel probably the most refresh time that we can really go on and push through. And so what we're doing. That phase is, we want to focus on our endurance, we want to see how far we can go, we're running, we want to attend to really measure a distance there too.to really push ourselves in that capacity.



[OVULATION PHASE]

When we go on to our ovulation phase, there's just that time that we are having the most energy during the month that we have this vitality that we can really capture, we're going to look at our exercise and if we're trying to like really perform and increase our cardiovascular work, we're going to look at doing intervals. So that's at a time that you're going to really succeed during that, and really push yourself to really, again, get your heart rate up for a longer period of time, bring it back down and have fun with it. So, whether it's a spin class whether it's interval training, whether it's a hit workout whatever that time may be that's whenever you're going to really enjoy it the most. For one, and number two, see the most benefits from your exercise or physical aspect of it.



[LUTEAL PHASE]

When we go into our luteal phase. It's a longer phase and with that you can do. Some people try to live it up for example so you start at the beginning of that phase you're working on your string, maybe you can still go a little bit harder. If you're working on cardio, you know, you can still do that there's nothing against that. But as you go through that luteal phase, it's going to kind of taper off you're going to feel like you're getting tired and that's totally normal. And that's what we talked about listening to our body. So yes you're focusing on your strength, we kind of look at your form. So, even though you're doing cardio, I'm going to use running as an example, you're looking at your form for running, so making sure you're landing with mid foot strikes and focusing on that rather than focusing on getting your pace below a certain marker I that's not what you're going to want to do, so you're focusing on the strength workouts,



[MENSTRUAL PHASE]

and then as you get into your menstrual phase, you're going to either rest or look at two calming techniques whether it's Pilates, or yoga, or something that's not going to stress your body and it can really work on that healing aspect of it, as you're recovering and getting ready for that next round of work.



[11:11] TR: Yes, and then as you during your bleeding when Kendra had mentioned this before. That's when your hormones are actually at their lowest. So it's your body is doing a lot of work to shed the lining, and it's a time that if you, you know, this is where women can't be 100% every single day because our bodies don't function that way. But if you feel like resting, absolutely. The other thing is it because your hormones are so low, it could be a time that you could PR, you know, and this is something this is where you really have to listen to your body because if you let's say that you've been training for a race, and then the race falls on the day of your you know your period or the middle of your period, it doesn't mean it's all for naught you should throw it out. If you have been listening to your body for the previous month, and really resting, you know, during the latter half of your luteal phase, you could bust it out, you know, but you just, it's really paying attention to your body.



​​But if you, you know, if you haven't been listening, if you haven't been feeding it that extra energy that you need in that latter half of your cycle, then you're just going to be way below the bar. So, one thing that women just aren't taught I feel is to really listen to gather the data on your body. When you are, you know, having.



[13:13] VL: That's great advice I'm so glad you said tracking because, as a healthy habits coach, this is pretty much like a very core part of how I work with people and it's really using the data and collecting the data and tracking whether it's our habits or our cycle or our mindset or whatever it is, and I find it so helpful because I've done this to was tracking my cycle and I've actually put it out in my calendar so that when I'm, when I'm booking in podcasts events, or when I'm booking in my workouts, I know that okay, this week is going to be a little bit of a lighter week maybe I don't use weights when I'm working out of the gym maybe I go down lighter weights, maybe I'm focusing on that yoga practice whatever it is. So, that is so perfect. Can we chat just like really briefly about each of them, the amount of days, or the typical number of days that we go through each cycle just so that people who are listening, if they want to start tracking it, how they can do that.



TR: Yes, that's a very good question, you're at the beginning of your follicular phase, like right after you're done with your period, is about five to six days, and then the ovulatory phase is also very small. Again like five, six days, your luteal phase can be anywhere from 10 to 14 days. And so then your period is anywhere from like three to five. So just depending, we say, you know, the average is like a 28 day cycle, but that's the normal for that, in air quotes which you can't see on a podcast is, you know, anywhere from 22 to 32, so you can still be within normal range.



Outside of that, So just depending on where you are and the nice thing about tracking is that if you, if you can kind of, you know, it's really hard to, to feel your body change unless you kind of know that it's coming up so there are apps for tracking which can kind of help you.



You know, physically see where your body is and then take that, okay well this is my follicular phase and this is how I feel, and kind of really press that into your memory so that you can kind of keep like it'll it'll just kind of, you know, almost like a smell like, I know that if, if I walk in the house and it smells like this.



So I know that if I'm in my curriculum. This is how I feel regarding my luteal phase this is how I feel. That can be really helpful.



VL: Great, and I'm glad that you kind of reiterated the fact that everyone's going to be a little bit different and we might be sitting near the 28 day range and other people might be sitting in more of a 32 day range so it really is about that connection with self and getting to know what your body is doing, and I, so I find personally is that my cycle has changed.



And it tends to change, but more frequently or more often, I should say, if I'm traveling, those things kind of change up but then again your exercise routine changes when you're traveling to right so there's just lots going on with our bodies and definitely that self connection. That connection to self being more mindful and power feeling, I think that's important and that can be involved with our tracking. 



Now, there are other ways that we can make the most of our exercise that are a little bit more specific to the day to day so we kind of taken this big picture of, okay, the 28 to 3832 days cycle, we know that these are the energy levels so these are the types of workouts that we're going to fit in with those. Let's say, Day one, you can pick the day whatever day you want, what are we doing before, during, after, let's get a little bit more specific.



KM: This is one of our favorite topics I will say it's just kind of drilling it down and figuring out what do we need, and where do we start with, and so for example let's start with the beginning of the day, we always say you need to practice like a queen, lunch like a princess, and then are like a popper so when you are eating throughout your day, you need to make sure that you are fueling for your day, you are not going to be burning your energy as much during the night so you don't need a big meal before you go to bed, and they have to just sit there when you need your big meal when it needs to be full of carbohydrates yes I said carbohydrates, maybe that's a whole pot in this modern day world but you need carbohydrates which is a totally different topic that we could go on for hours about, but for the purposes of this podcast we're going to say, make sure you have carbohydrates to start your day, make sure you have the protein that fat to really build up not only an energy bolus, to keep you going throughout the morning, but also to give you the satiety and to feel good and to really understand that, oh, This is going to be what I need us to be up to start off with that breakfast like a queen and enjoy it loaded up and have fun with it.



As we start moving after again, and we're going through our exercise we want to make sure that we're feeling for exercise too. So at least 30 minutes beforehand, make sure you have some carbohydrates on board. I have like I said, carbohydrates, that's what we mean when we're exercising, that's what we're burning most frequently. And so we need to make sure that we have those on board so we can get the most out of our exercise. So, eat a little bit before your exercise or drink a little bit if you're saying oh it's in the morning and I don't want to eat before I run, that's when you don't have to eat. Just drink a little bit of juice, we would never say drink juice any other time during the day but when we're talking about our exercise bubble we say okay, this is how we can feel it, maybe it's you have a graham cracker or to feel it, do whatever works best for you because that's going to give you the fuel that energy that you need to power through and have a really excellent workout, one that's, you're not going to be already behind the eight ball before you even start seeing to make sure you're feeling up correctly. If you're having a long distance ride, or if you're doing a long workout anything that's more than 60 to 90 minutes, and you're going to want to think about feeling through that workout. There's lots that can go into that effect so I'm not going to go into detail with that, but making sure that you are feeling through if you're hitting that threshold, and then the other key factor is recovering so making sure you refueling so you just spent these energy stores, you need to recover with it, you need this three to one, at least ratio of carbs to protein A lot of people think, Oh, I just need a protein shake. After I finish the workout when in truth you just burn all these awesome carbohydrates but you need to refill those stores, so you're going to want to make sure that you not only have the protein. Proteins are good. You want to make sure those muscles get what they need, but you also need to make sure that you have the energy source from the carbohydrates to replace this by good storage. So you have the energy to keep going so you don't hit the afternoon slump so you're not like where's my energy that I need another coffee. Would it be three or five o'clock in the afternoon, and what was the end of the day.



​​So you want to make sure you're recovering correctly, as well as using up correctly and then having that balance of energy to get through the day to where you are at in the evenings.



[20:43] TR: I mean everything that Kendra said. 

And the reason we really encourage carbohydrates, particularly when women don't do well, faceted anything. And the reason is if you think about going back to our cycle. We're made to get pregnant, every single month, so your body is like, Well, okay, it's another month, here we go like we're going to get ready and she's definitely going to get pregnant this month, and your body doesn't know that maybe you're not trying, or you're done or, you know that you're still in lockdown I mean, but, but if you fast so exercising fasted, particularly for women just causes a huge cortisol response. So if you're potassium exercising all the time I'm hardly eating anything and I'm not toning up I'm not leaning down. Let's because your body is preparing for you to get pregnant, and it's going to hold on to those stores and fat stores, because you're not giving it enough, so there's no reason to ever be shy, and feel like you can't have something before a workout or particularly if it's a really long workout during, and especially after because your body will respond will respond in a stressed out state, especially if it's chronically ongoing so one thing that you know, there's a whole, wide array of issues that can happen with females cycles when they're not healed well and infertility loss of cycle all of that, and it can just be as, as a simple fix as fueling your exercise, you know you've had your whole day cluster exercise so, and the best form to do that is carbohydrates because it's quick energy that your body needs to just go go go.



[22:33] VL: Amazing! SO many great points you’ve made. 



 I have a bunch of questions. First I'd like to touch on the fact that you said, the fasting isn't usually healthy for women and I'm so glad you said that because I actually used to intermittent fast for a really long time I did this, and it was actually just recently I would say last summer where I stopped doing because I was watching issues, and most of those were rooted in adrenal fatigue. So, basically I was just like, very stressed out, even though I wasn't really stressed out my body felt very stressed out. So my mind wasn't as stressed as my as my body was but everything felt really hard I was always tired the sun made my size sensitive all of these things, basically, screaming at me that's my adrenals were fatigued, I ended up working with a nutritionist who helps me. And one of the things that happened even though she didn't tell me to start eating breakfast right away was because I told her I was like I'm not hungry in the morning, and it's because my body is still my livers was still working really hard to digest yesterday's food, and it wasn't ready for the next thing, but I've had gotten into this really bad habit you could say. So anyways after working with her and kind of being on the supplements and kind of rebalancing my hormones and reducing my stress and all these things, I noticed that I was actually becoming really hungry in the morning. And the only reason why I started fasting was because I was doing something that I like to call intuitive eating, and basically I was eating because I was hungry and not because someone told me that you should eat breakfast because it's the most important meal of the day, I was doing what my body needed, and so now I'm I was. Then I got to this point where my body needed breakfast, so it's made a massive difference in my everyday health and energy levels, I do have to say I love starting the day with a glass or two of water and a super yummy breakfast I feel supercharged for the day. I feel ready to take action. I am not. I'm not crashing into a I'm not like ravenous after a workout, I mean I'm hungry after workout, if I do this is a tough workout but it's made such a difference.



So I, like I said, I'm really glad that you said that and I think it's worth, worth investigating for anyone who is fasting to take a step back and just try to reintroduce some food into your morning so glad you said that and then, which kind of brought me back to a question that I had when Kendra was speaking about fueling up and refueling, I get this question all the time. What do you eat before and after our workout, so I don't know if you have like favorite things, or a couple little cheat recipes you want to share, but I know that question is going to be asked.o I, like I said, I'm really glad that you said that and I think it's worth, worth investigating for anyone who is fasting to take a step back and just try to reintroduce some food into your morning so glad you said that and then, which kind of brought me back to a question that I had when Kendra was speaking about fueling up and refueling, I get this question all the time. What do you eat before and after our workout, so I don't know if you have like favorite things, or a couple little cheat recipes you want to share, but I know that question is going to be asked.



KM: Oh yes, I love those kind of questions, and Tiffany and I are very different on what we really enjoy before and after workouts, and so it depends on how long before I workout, because if you're just doing like, if you need to eat something 30 minutes before it's going to be different than what you're going to be eating two hours before. I want to work with our clients to kind of figure out what is that like some people can eat 30 minutes before it doesn't work for them, but we want to make sure they have carbohydrates and maybe a little bit of protein on board, two hours before so they don't have to, so it doesn't upset their stomach. So there's little nuances that we look at with our clients to make sure that they are getting what they need, what works with their body, but what we like. Back to this is, you know, if we talk about any type of simple carbohydrates, a lot of, again, we talked about fueling during your exercise bubble. And so this is not going to be things that you necessarily have with your lunch or dinner or with your breakfast, they're going to be simple carbohydrates. So we're talking about like white rice instead of brown rice because you're taking out the fiber you're taking out things that slow your digestion, so you want to avoid anything that has a lot of fiber or a lot of fat, so we're looking at, okay, maybe it's some raisins. Yeah, those have some fiber in them, those worked really well for me. They don't work really well for other people, maybe it's a little bit of juice, maybe it's some graham crackers, a bagel, whatever it is that has simple carbohydrates. So we're not going for the 100% Whole grain here, which we would otherwise, but simple carbohydrates are going to give you the carbohydrates, and the energy that you need to fuel your workout. Now when we're talking about refueling, you can totally include those whole grains in there you could, you know, one of our favorites if it's just a quick thing and you're not going to have a meal. I think Tiffany and I both agree that dates and Almond butter we're big fans. Big fan.



Days and all those better ones are I think both of ours, like go to peanut butter and jelly sandwich, US movie is another one that we really love.



What are some other ones, Tiffany? I feel like I can't think of them now that I'm on the spot.



[27:29] TR: if I work out early in the morning like Kendra was said that 30 minutes. I keep little bottles of apple juice on hand in case by I have three boys in case somebody gets constipated because they don't drink juice regularly so that works so like four ounces of apple juice for me will be enough despite my energy to get me out the door, but in the, if I have a couple of hours before the mid morning workout I know Kendra is definitely peanut butter and jelly sandwich in the morning, all the time on the way.



And I am oatmeal. I put lots of stuff in there and, and I love oatmeal and that keeps me nourished, it's digested, two and a half hours before I do my workout, the dates and almond butter or dates and almonds work perfectly trail mix is another refuelling I'm sorry the dates and almonds are repealing trail mix, so if you have some nuts, particularly, maybe salted nuts, and you know the stuff that you can get at the store that they even sold the raisins, like, and you have a little bit of chocolate in there, because that has, you know the sodium the potassium and magnesium that you need to help recover. So some trail mix with, with a, with some water works perfectly or I love Lara bars, those, they're, you know, prepackaged and they're just dates like fruit and nuts and that's a good carbohydrates, help to open up the cells to take in the amino acids from the proteins. So if you just have a protein shake without carbohydrates, then you are not going, then the protein isn't going to be doing the work that it should be so yeah and or it'll be lunch, like I will if I work out mid morning, then I'll have an early lunch, and that'll be whatever you have for lunch, which is perfect



[29:21] VL: You’re making me hungry! 



Oh my gosh, Now I just want dates and some even better. I haven't had that input ever. I totally forgot about the snack. This is brilliant. Those are some great examples I feel like they're not as talked about, in a lot of health and wellness kind of circles or communities. They're such a negative connotation with carbs as we've been saying but they are so important and I definitely think that they need to be a part of our daily dietary intake so glad that we touched on that. That's super exciting. So we're fueling up before we're refueling after, and then we're staying in the flow with our hormonal cycles.



Is there anything else that we should know to make the most of our exercise?



KM: I think one thing that we tend to forget is rest, because when we read, we're not only just resting our muscles and our bodies, but we're also resting our digestive system. We are allowing ourselves to recover allowing those muscles to regenerate and to repair, and we do that, not only, and I had this the other day and I can't remember exactly where I heard it, But you're good sleep starts with breakfast in the morning, and I have not. I can't say how true that is because we're talking about breakfast like a queen. But that also means that we're tapering up throughout the rest of the day so whenever you get to dinner. You're not going to be eating it, you know 30 minutes before you get into bed and you're not going to be loading up because your body is still while you're trying to go to sleep, it's still trying to digest that food it's already working on something else, it can't focus on what it needs to. So whenever we allow time to fully digest before we hop into bed, we're allowing not only our muscles the time to recover, but we're also allowing our bedroom.



You can wake up hungry in the morning, which is a wonderful day because that means that our metabolism is doing what it needs to do overnight it's doing, it's getting that energy to the cells, it's getting these amino acids, working to make sure that those muscles are repairing and so our body functions better whenever we allow not only our physical body to rest our digestive system, as well as our muscles but also our mind too. So, another thing that probably has not a whole lot to do necessarily in some ways, with nutrition but yeah you starting those healthy habits which Valerie you talk about a lot is making sure you know you're turning off your phone so you don't have that blue light that's affecting your sleep beforehand, you're getting rid of any type of worry and stress that you may need to maybe it's journaling before bed and you feel good before bed, so you can really enjoy the rest and relaxation that comes from it and so you're ready to take on the next day.



Getting hungry for breakfast and getting fuel for the rest of it.



TR: Yeah, no, that's absolutely perfect and Kendra and I talk a lot about mindful eating, especially as an athlete until we work with mother athletes, but it's not Olympians or the you know the people that are in the trials right now for the Olympics here in the United States. It is, it is, is moms, it's women who exercise, pretty much because you are busy and women take on, you know all the things you've taken care of a house then work and kids and, and then throwing an exercise. On top of that, so mindful eating is, you might not be hungry after your workout, because it was hot because it was a hard workout, but you're going to be, but you need to refuel so this is where almost that mindful eating is is paired with intuitive eating because Intuitive Eating would say, I'm not really hungry right now I shouldn't be mindful eating would say, but you just exercise, so you need to feel that or you need to have breakfast in the morning to fuel your whole day so that you can rest at night, and where that starts with a good breakfast and if you're not a breakfast eater, then it can be hard to get into the habit, because when you start eating in the morning, you're triggering a whole cascade of hormones that are coming from your gut, and you're turning on that huge engine of your digestive system, and that can be disruptive to just, you know, if you're not used to it can be disruptive to your appetite. So, one thing is just to start small, like a piece of toast a banana.

You know, just something that you can enjoy and get down maybe it's, and that's all that you have, but at least getting started and you'll get used to it and if you give yourself, you know, over time, like you said, now that you did, you were starting to get hungry and that's really important so pairing that mindful eating, along with your outcome, because even when you're, you know, for example when you're sick, you don't feel like eating or drinking anything but you know you need to drink water, so that you don't become dehydrated, that's that mindful writing over intuitive so about writing or I should say, paired well with.



[34:38] VL:Yeah, that's a great yeah that's a great point. I like that mindful eating and it's, it's really true and I think that's part of listening to your body and understanding your cycle and understanding how our bodies work. They need energy, they need fuel. We just burned a ton of energy we needed to refill that. That's amazing. So you said he worked with mom athletes who exercise. Can you tell us a little bit more about how we're what it's like to work with you, is it one on one, do you do group coaching, how does it work.



KM: We have services that we work with for group coaching right now so we have our mother athlete membership, and that is a membership for moms that are looking to decrease that food stress so we give our clients, a pre planned meal plan and this is not saying like you need to eat this many calories, this is no this is saying hey, here's what's on the menu for dinner so you can avoid that, what's for dinner question and it just eases the stress it uses the burden from that. With that, they get group, office hours, so kind of like in college whenever you go to your professor for office hours, they can come to those twice a month, ask the dieticians anything. We have a chat function so if they do have questions outside of that time period, they can ask the dietitian, we review them and really work with our clients there to understand what they need to help ease that food stress. We also offer our feeling intensive course and that feeling intensive course is really taking moms and Mother athletes from this cycle of, you know, often diet cycle ditching that diet cycle and reframing the mindset around food and nutrition. In order to get off of that. That train, and really find sustainable and healthy habits that are nutritionally sound and work with their bodies to get what they need to really achieve those goals. And then we also have our feeling the mother athlete course, and that's another group program, and that is a self paced course it is for the moms that kind of have a grasp of nutrition already but are just having to take their exercise to the next level, Or maybe they're a coach or an instructor that works with that athlete, and they want to help their clients really understand their health and nutrition better as well. So those are the types of things that that course is really geared towards. And then we also offer individual coaching on a case by case basis, so if someone is saying well this doesn't really 50 But I'm interested in. Let us know, let's chat about it. We have a free performance call and love hearing from our clients so what it is that they want to achieve, how we can help them get there through nutrition and exercise.



VL: Awesome. Well, where can we find you, how can we follow you? 



INSTAGRAM | @fuelinglifenutrition

WEBSITE | ​​http://www.fuelinglifenutrition.com 



VL: So all of this sounds amazing. I'm assuming that we can get access or we can get more information about all of your offerings on your website. Correct, yeah. Okay, perfect. So, we'll make sure to include those as well. And before we jump into rapid fire is there any last little piece that we want to add? Are we feeling good, feeling ready for the rapid fire round?




RAPID FIRE

1. What are you currently reading? What’s your favourite book?

KM: Ross Poldark (Book 1) by Winston Graham 

TR: Atomic Habits by James Clear

The Pilgrims Promise by John Bunyan




2. What do you love most about being a woman?

TR: The thing I love the most about being a woman is that it's not this, per se, like there's a lot of change in the way that I see things the way that I approach things and I feel this obviously due to my hormones, and, and I love that it's not always the same.



KM: I would say, kind of, a couple on that is that, because I'm a woman I could bear children, and see them grow and have this and just biological understanding of them and I know for some women and I respect that but I am very fortunate that I've two wonderful children and because I'm a little bit I got to experience that and it's been the greatest.



3. What does empowerment mean to you?

KM: Empowerment is the opportunity to build yourself up or to be to have that feeling of accomplishment that is to say, in the back of your mind, I can do this. And that's really at the body, empowerment to be is that I can do this.



TR: Yes, I think, when I think, you know how some words are visual, I think, like if I'm empowered that I'm, I'm raised up, like I'm on a, I don't want to say a pedestal because I don't want to be put on a pedestal, but you know that you can, you're kind of like you're just higher than the better view around, I guess, is what I would say so because of that you can see more, experience more, do more.



4. What are you currently working toward?

TR: The ​​easier question would be, when am I not working. I have a habit tracker, and I know that Kendra does too and I think if I, if there's been an overarching theme. Over the past year and a half. I'm trying to work on the balance between work and rest in finding this good job of including weekly rest into my week, and teaching that to my boys, and that it's not, go go go go go all the time so that is, that has been a, that's been a long time and I think that everything is trying to get towards that.



KM: It's kind of the same thing because what I'm working on is saying, no more frequently as silly as that sounds like when they say yes is your greatest is your greatest Yes, is saying no and that's really what I'm kind of coming back to I have this type A personality and when I say no this is something that I really, I've decided that, and it's okay because that makes my yeses more important, and so I'm really loving towards that this summer, specifically HOAs are amazing.



VL: I'm so excited for you both and I want to say something, Tiffany, about your, the idea of slowing down and not being so go go go. I think what we have been programmed as the North American society does is just really tell us that we need to be doing all the time needs to be going all the time and if we're not doing and taking action and doing these things and we're doing nothing when it's not true. Resting is an addition it's something we can add into what we're doing. Rest is important. And if we really want to look at what's happening when we're resting, we can talk about that refueling we can recognize that our bodies are re energizing, things are happening, when we rest so I just wanted to say that to, to maybe give you that permission to to do less or to do nothings, air quotes again, because it's so important for our health, and of course our exercise like we talked about today.



[43:48] TR: Yes, that's, that's good, because there's not It's not nothing, it's resting, which is an active thing, so that's perfect, thank you.



VL: Yeah, absolutely. Ladies, this was such a wonderful conversation I'm really glad we had to we got to have this talk, I think it's something that is really important to discuss all parts of our cycle are flow, finding this rhythm and creating kind of this own connection with ourselves to be more mindful and, and really considering the the fuel and the refueling, when we're talking about our workouts and being active, I think what you are doing is so incredible and so powerful, I have a great feeling that it's going to expand to Canada. I don't see why when.



But yeah, I really wanted to acknowledge you for for your work and for making your business work even across a country and, and now globally so congratulations on your expansion into Germany. That's so exciting. And, yeah, it's incredible what you two are doing so, thank you so much for that.



KM & TR: ​​And thank you, Val for having us on. We had just a wonderful time. Yes, such a fun topic. Yes, thank you very much.

 

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E142: Rituals for the Signs (Part 2 of 2)
 
 

E142: Rituals for the Signs (Part 2 of 2)

Combining my love for Astrology with my passion for creating rituals in this two-part series. Here for Aquarius, Capricorn, Pisces, Aries, Taurus, Gemini, and Cancer…


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Episode 141: Rituals for the Signs (Part 1 of 2)

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Let’s start with… the best zodiac sign...

[4:34] AQUARIUS (January 20 - February 18)

My sun sign is Aquarius, so yes I am biased but honestly this sign is the best. Aquarius are the water bearers, these are mystical healers who give water or life upon the land. Now because of this, many people think Aquarius is a water sign, however it is actually one of the Air signs of the zodiac.


This sign is known as the humanitarian of the zodiac. Aquarians are revolutionary thinkers and aspire to change the world through radical social progress. You enjoy a combination of social time and alone time and you are excellent at observation. You are a free-spirit and not a fan of the same routine every day.


Morning Ritual: Start your morning with a yoga practice so that you can tune into your body and mind, strengthen the connection and mix up the stretches based on how you’re feeling for the day. This means some mornings will be a deep breathing workout, while other mornings can serve you to relax and restore. Plus, you’ll need some alone time before connecting with your friends during the day. 


Evening Ritual: Socialize in the evening without having to be too social Aquarius. Open up insta and catch up on your fave accounts, reply thoughtfully to comments and dms, and then watch a couple episodes of your favourite show. 


[6:39] PISCES (February 19 - March 20)

Pisces is the last sign in the zodiac calendar, but certainly not least. You are emotionally sensitive, emotionally aware, sympathetic, and incredibly caring. You are gracious, imaginative, and creative. You are also very much an empath and absorb other people’s energy. Similar to Scorpio (from last week’s episode), you can be a little psychic.


Morning Ritual: Pisces is ruled by the planet Neptune which governs our dreams. You love to sleep and dream. Prioritize peace in the morning. Light a candle, pull an oracle card, and write about your dreams in your journal. This could be your literal dreams or your hopes and dreams for the future. Ease into the day, but don’t hit snooze, the day is ahead of you Pisces. 


Evening Ritual: Your evening ritual stars as soon as you get home. Change into your most comfortable clothes, put on the kettle and cozy up with a cup of tea. You could retreat like Cancer and soak in the tub, or put on some music and journal alone in your room. 


[7:55] ARIES (March 21 - April 19)

Aries is a leader, a go-getter, a trail blazer. They are the first of the zodiac signs as it relates to the zodiac calendar, which I mixed up for this two part series because I wanted to start with the Leo’s for Leo season - anyway! Aries are great at starting projects and very action-oriented, however they get easily distracted and often have many incomplete projects on the go. Speaking of “go!” Aries prefers to work over rest.


Morning Ritual: Turn up some music and start your morning with exercise so that you’re ready to take on the goals for the day. Break a sweat in any form of movement you love. Following your workout, drink plenty of water and fuel with a protein shake. Before diving into your to-do list, Take a moment of mindfulness. This could be a deep breath, setting an intention, or checking in with yourself. It’s easy to disconnect from yourself when you’re always on the go, so this one is important to include.


Evening Ritual: In the evenings dear Aries, focus on tying up the loose ends from the day. Wrap up the projects you started in the morning so that you can allow your mind to relax. Because you are always taking action and have lots of pent up energy - even in the evening - you would benefit from a quick stretch or a set of jumping jacks to burn off that energy before heading to bed. It might sound counter-intuitive to others, but a stimulating evening activity is the perfect way for you to wind down and transition to sleep.


[9:42] TAURUS (April 20 - May 20)

Taurus enjoy the finer things in life. You tend to move organically through your days and your life and unlike Aries, prefer rejuvenation over action. Since Taurus is ruled by the planet Veus - a planet that governs love, beauty, and money - it will come as no surprise that nurturing your connection to loved ones, and self care are very important to you.


Morning Ritual: There is no need to rush in the mornings Taurus. Make sure you have lots of time to get ready for the day. Taurus is a sign well known for its appetite and love of food, and breakfast is a must! Indulge in a delicious meal, sit and enjoy your coffee, and allow yourself extra time to choose an outfit for the day. 


Evening Ritual: An ideal evening ritual for you Taurus is to gather all the cozy blanks and snuggle up with your loved ones (kids, partner, or pets). After dinner enjoy a delicious dessert or glass of wine, do a face mask before heading to bed. While getting ready for bed, play your favourite music, dim the lights and fluff your pillows. Allow yourself to separate mentally and physically from the day. 


[11:00] GEMINI (May 21 - June 20)

Gemini’s are the social butterflies of the zodiac. You are playful, quick thinker, intellectually curious, and genuinely love connecting with people. You tend to find routines boring and prefer to mix things up on the regular.


Morning Ritual: Rise and shine Gemini, the day is yours for the taking, and the talking. The morning is like a green light: wake up and send those emails and texts. Connecting with others gives you the energy you need for the day. While reading the headlines, and sharing interesting articles with friends is part of your routine, incorporate inspiration into your mornings. A perfect ritual for you would include reading a page of an inspirational book, or an app that sends you a motivational quote for the day. Something to stimulate your mind, and set a positive tone for the day ahead.


Evening Ritual: A wonderful evening ritual for you Gemini is spending time connecting with your family or friends. Give them a call or FaceTime them in the evening. With a different conversation, or even a different person, you’ll never get bored. 


[12:09] CANCER (June 21 - July 22)

Cancer is ruled by the moon. This sign is all about self-care, nurturing, and comfort. You are a homebody and can be sensitive to your surroundings, so keep this in mind when getting cozy in your space. You also value your alone time while also being an incredible caretaker and hostess with the mostess!


Morning Ritual: An ideal morning for you Cancer involves spending some time with your pets or garden. Speak to them and nurture them, adding some sweetness to your morning. Take a shower or a bath first thing in the morning and visualize it washing off your sleep and rejuvenating you for the day. You can also spend the time in the bath or shower meditating and relaxings as you focus on your goals.


Evening Ritual: You’ve probably spent a lot of the day surrounded by, or helping others, so you’ll be needing a retreat from the world. Before getting cozy in bed, take a long soak in the tub (hot shower if you don’t want to bath). But like really get into this ritual, really soak in the tub for a solid 30 minutes and mentally, and let’s be honest emotionally, wash away the day. If you’re up for more of a social evening, spend time preparing a delightful meal for your friends and/or family as caring and hosting others brings you joy.

Share your signs and rituals with me on instagram @vallavignelife

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Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

Categories

Download the FREE Dream Lifestyle Roadmap

Follow on Instagram

 
E141: Rituals for the Signs Part 1 of 2
 
 

E141: Rituals for the Signs (Part 1 of 2)

Combining my love and curiosity for astrology with my passion for helping others with their wellness through healthy habits. Here are the first six signs of the rituals for your zodiac series…


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GET YOUR BIRTH CHART WITH THIS BIRTH CHART CALCULATOR

[5:11] LEO (July 23 - August 22)

Leos are the royalty of the zodiac, and are known for their playfulness, high-energy, and creativity. You are the one at the parties basking in the spotlight and celebrating yourself. But when the bright-burning flame of Leo burns out… They are done for the day.


Morning Ritual: Tap into your creativity in the mornings. You can do this through writing, choosing a bold outfit, or singing to your favourite songs in the shower. Your morning ritual is never boring because you always show up playful and ready to step into the spotlight. In fact you can do so by jumping on insta stories or posting that new TikTok.


Evening Ritual: As a social lion(ess) you are, incorporating others into your evening routine with a dinner party, a games night, or a social gathering would be an ideal evening ritual. Don’t worry, this doesn’t have to mean a party every night of the week, it could also mean family dinner followed by a quick game of Catan or cards or maybe charades! Perhaps you FaceTime a friend before bed, or maybe an online game before resting your head for a long, deep sleep.


[6:35] VIRGO (August 23 - September 22)

Virgo’s approach life logically, practically, and systematically. You are very task-oriented and enjoy being busy. It seems as though you’ve always got one eye on the to-do list and you’ve already started making tomorrow’s to-do list. Tidiness, organization, and personal development are very important to you.


Morning Ritual: Your to-do list is already organized and ready for the day. Of course you have a solid morning routine mapped out, but self-care needs to be prioritized if you’re going to take on the day with precision. Make your bed, take a few mindful breaths, set your daily intention, and take your time with your hygiene routine so that your mind is sharp and clear first thing in the day.


Evening Ritual: If you haven’t already done so Virgo, the evening is the perfect time for you to cross off your to-do lists for today. Wrap up any lingering tasks and then prepare your goals and action steps for tomorrow. Before heading up to bed, “kiss your kitchen good-night” by cleaning up the last of the dinner dishes, wiping down the countertops, and perhaps putting out your coffee mug and spoon for the next morning. Spend time winding down with a self-help book, your journal, or listening to an inspiring podcast.


[8:15] LIBRA (September 23 - October 22)

Libras adore high art, intellectualism, connoisseurship, and aesthetics. Appearance and one-on-one connection are important to you. You value putting effort and attention into how you look, as well as real conversations. 


Morning Ritual: You know that the morning is important for setting the tone for the day, and your morning is all about creating balance. You do this through your daily yoga practice or tai chi. After your sun salutations and breathwork, spend time putting yourself together, from hair to makeup, your whole outfit, and anything in between. Now you’re ready to take on the day with confidence.


Evening Ritual: An ideal evening for you dear Libra would be to connect with your partner, FaceTime a friend, write a letter, or send a handmade card. It’s also the perfect time for you to put down your phone, pick up the latest fiction novel or travel magazine and be transported to another place. Before you escape mentally, lay out your well-thought out outfit for tomorrow.


[9:39] SCORPIO (October 23 - November 21)

Scorpio is a passionate, intuitive and emotional water sign. You are known to be a little psychic and/or clairvoyant at times. Although this has it’s advantages, it can also leave you feeling quite emotionally drained and exhausted because you tend to take on the energy of others. Speaking of energy you are not afraid to work hard for your goals and are in it for the long game.


Morning Ritual: Intensity and extremes excite you so why not incorporate that into your morning. Pick your poison each morning, a cold shower, a HIIT class, or a list of hairy scary goals to take on today. You are a force of energy and your intention is to THRIVE, but don’t get caught up in other people’s ish… protect yourself with a mindful meditation covering your aura and not letting other people’s energy latch on like a leech to your determination. 


Evening Ritual: Connect to your element Scorpio and soak in a warm bath. Line the tub with some candles, or get out some epsom salts, essential oils and crystals to conjure up a little relaxation and release potion for your soak. This will help you leave any heaviness for the day behind you as well as reconnect to your power for a more restful sleep. For a quicker version of this ritual, have a shower before bed and visualize the energy and emotions you carry washing off your body and aura. Then light a candle before bed and write your gratitudes in your journal.



[11:55] SAGITTARIUS (November 22 - December 21)

Sagittarius is honest, intellectual, and optimistic. You are a lover of freedom, beauty, inspiration and contemplation. Hilarious, honest, and usually with a lot of your friends; socializing and collaborative activities bring you joy. You have lots of energy and enjoy getting physical and going on adventures.


Morning Ritual: Good morning Sagittarius, spontaneity is calling your name. Take a new route to work, press shuffle on your podcast playlist, or open to a random page in your book on motivational quotes. Oh and wake up a little earlier so you can tap into your soul’s cravings and indulge in last-minute adventures. Each morning has its own workout and you’re usually meeting a friend to try the latest class and the hottest studios. 


Evening Ritual: Your ideal evening ritual combines your need for movement and beauty by taking a walk or doing a yoga practice under the stars. Of course you love the company, so invite a friend or your partner and appreciate the sparkling evening sky together. The evening is a wonderful time for you to catch up on the next episode of a docu-series you’ve been watching, and journal, before your mindfulness/meditation practice before snuggling into bed.


[13:31] CAPRICORN (December 22  - January 19)

Of all the zodiac signs Capricorn is the hardest-working. You are ambitious, determined, strong, and value getting ahead in life. You can multitask like a pro and you’ve always got a project going on whether that be at home or at work. 


Morning Ritual: Your ideal morning starts with organization. Write out your list of everything you want to accomplish. Prioritize your list, then schedule your tasks into the calendar, because as you know: what gets scheduled is what gets done. Kickstart your motivated morning with a quick cardio class and tackle the tasks list.


Evening Ritual: The evening for you is about spending time wrapping up your projects. Once the boxes are checked off for your work tasks, you can take care of the personal projects and give the attention to your home, or perhaps an upcoming trip. Getting ish done helps you relax and if there is still time leftover in the day before the pillow calls your name, you can fish off the book you’ve been reading on your nightstand, or pack your gym bag, lunch bag, and work bag to make for a more productive morning the next day.


Share your sign and morning/evening rituals with me on Instagram @vallavignelife


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Next week we’ll discuss the second half of the zodiac signs 

Episode 142: Rituals for the Signs Part Two

 

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E140: 10 Ways to Show Up for Yourself
 
 

E140: 10 Ways to Show Up for Yourself

Today I’m sharing 10 ways to show up for yourself. Before we dive into the main points, I wanted to share why I felt this was so important…


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For those of you who may not already know this, I am a Healthy Habit Mentor. I completed my Health Coaching certification I think four years ago now and while discovering my own strengths, passions, and purpose I uncovered my gifts in helping others develop impactful habits, routines, and rituals. The little actions that seem insignificant, but lead to MASSIVE growth and transformation are what I’m all about.


And as much as I support my one-on-one mentorship clients with their day to day habits, the real growth and change need to come from you. I can definitely help you create, start, and focus on the right action steps. I can absolutely hold you accountable for the work, and I will show up for you and your goals. 


But I can not do the daily habit for you. I can not take action for you. YOU my darling, need to show up for yourself too. 


Now I’m thrilled to tell you that just by reading the show notes to this episode you’ve made the first move and completed an action that supports positive change for your life. If you’re ready to learn AND take action on the deeper work, then please, continue reading.


Let’s begin…


[3:34] Number One: Commit to Habits, Practices, Routines, and Rituals that support your health and well-being, even when you don’t feel like it.


Our daily habits and practices are either helping us or hurting us but they are always working. Meaning we have good and bad habits and depending on which ones we are doing and nurturing, well the outcome will correlate to the type of habit. 


Showing up for ourselves means committing to the supportive habits, even when we’re not feeling like it. I can’t tell you how many times I thought “but I don’t want to floss tonight” and then I flossed anyway. Or “I don’t feel like working out” and then I did it anyway. Each time feeling SO MUCH BETTER for sticking to the healthy habit. 


It’s true, we’re not always going to want to do the uncomfortable, healthy thing every time. But that’s what honouring yourself is. It’s doing the tough work, it’s staying consistent with the healthy habit, it’s understanding that lasting change takes time and not everyone succeeds, because not everyone is willing to do the work.


[4:51] Number Two: Learn to Forgive Yourself. Each and every one of us has made mistakes, we all have a past, we aren’t perfect. 


We know that showing up means doing the work, and we also know that missing a day doesn’t mean we fail. Consistency doesn’t mean every day, it means never giving up.


Which is why learning to forgive ourselves is so crucial. The next time we forget something, or we don’t know the answer, or we get “off track,” take a moment to pause, breathe, and redirect the energy to a more supportive action. Like letting go, self-compassionate thoughts, or getting back on track again. 


I have a previous podcast episode on forgiveness rituals if you would like to go deeper into this work for yourself.

E119: Forgiveness Rituals


[5:58] Number Three: Allow Yourself to Feel ALL the Feels, Judgement-Free!. We are human beings, and along with our strengths, passions, mistakes, and shortcomings we also experience emotions. 


Honour those feelings. Lean into them so that you can truly feel them and then allow them to pass. It’s okay to feel hurt, angry, sad, happy, proud, excited, etc. 


What isn’t okay is to let ourselves get caught up in the feelings and wallow or languish. There is and will always be another side to the feelings we have, including the good ones. 


Release the need to judge ourselves for feeling upset. It’s better to feel it and then release it, so we can move forward.


[6:55] Number Four: Another way we can show up for ourselves is by Listening to What We Need. Part of connecting to our emotions and feelings is also learning to understand them, and learning to understand ourselves.


Each of us has different needs, and there will be different ways to meet our different needs. Enjoy the process of getting to know yourself more. 


How are you feeling right now?

What do you want to be doing/pursuing/thinking/speaking?


Not asking, what would the other person in my space want to eat or watch or visit, what do I want to eat/watch/go?

What does self care mean to you?

How do you define boundaries?

Where/when do you experience pleasure?


Keep the questions going, journal them if you feel called to. I sometimes call this dating yourself, because really you’re discovering who you are, and all the things that make you special, and beginning to fall in love with yourself. 


[8:06] Number Five: Allow Yourself to Start Over. It doesn’t matter where in life, your career, your projects, your relationships, or wherever else you are, you CAN start again. This is part of making mistakes, learning curves, learning about yourself, and growing. 


Start over if you need to. Start over again. As many times as you need. 


This is your journey and not anyone else's. You do you boo.


[8:40] Number Six: Remind Yourself that You Are Worthy. I saw this video on Instagram of a little girl who hurts herself and her mom says, “Repeat after me: I am strong, I am brave, I am worthy.” And you know what… When I’m feeling down, I take a deep breath and say the same things to myself. 


When you start believing and reminding yourself that you are worthy you are not only showing up for yourself, but you are showing up for the other women and people around you. 


Standing in your light and power gives others to do the same, AND it also teaches others how to treat you. This is huge. Also listen up, especially my wooey peeps… knowing your worth attracts abundance and all the things you are manifesting, because just like how it teaches others how to treat you, it tells the Universe how you are worthy of your desires and dreams.


Let that sink in for a moment.


[9:50] Number Seven: Prioritize Your Health. This is part of knowing your worth. Taking care of yourself and prioritizing your health screams I AM WORTHY!


Stay hydrated, nourish your body with whole foods, get enough sleep, and move your body daily. Do the things that help you glow from the inside out. 


One of my favourite sayings is: A healthy woman has a thousand wishes, a sick woman has one.” 


We’ve all felt ill at one point in time and I know that when I’m sick, the ONLY THING I want is to feel better. Preventative health, our supportive habits, and taking care of ourselves is the foundation to living a fuller life; to showing up for ourselves and our goals.


I am often reminding my clients that healthy can be simple, and fitness can be fun. Let this become part of your lifestyle.


Since I started prioritizing my daily hydration I have noticed a huge change in my overall energy, mood, cravings, sleep, digestion, and skin! I drink at least half my body weight in ounces of water every day and I am very consistent with it. I also use tools and tracking apps to help me with these types of habits and they’ve kept me on track for over 60 consecutive days.


I use a bluetooth water bottle that tracks your water and connects to an app on your phone to measure your progress. It also has a glow light at the bottom that lights up to remind you to drink. You can also turn on notifications on your phone to remind you when to drink.  


[11:51] Number Eight: Give Yourself Permission to Rest. Oh boy, here’s one I am constantly reminding myself of. Rest is NOT a reward. Rest is part of life, part of taking action, part of growth and development. 


Resting allows us to recharge and re-energize for the work to come. We NEED rest. Our bodies and our minds need rest. Just like how meeting our needs will look different, so will how we take our rest and what that looks like.


Sometimes rest for me is 20 minutes of uninterrupted “me time.” It also looks like getting 8 hours of sleep every night. Often it means scheduling rest into my calendar, especially during the busy weeks.


For others it might mean a midday nap, or only putting 3-5 things on the to-do list every day. It might mean asking for help, or starting the day with a self-care routine. 


Rest is crucial and part of prioritizing our health. 


[13:13] Number Nine: Another way to show up for yourself is to Spend Quality Time with You! This is a great way to get to know who you are, and what you love. Reading, writing, crafting and creating. Maybe it’s spending time in nature or stretching on your yoga mat. 


Are you a knitter? Painter? Do you enjoy cooking new meals? Reading in coffee shops? Taking long luxurious bubble baths? 


Quality time with yourself is time well spent! Schedule this into your calendar if you need to.


[13:45] Number Ten: Invite Curiosity and Compassion into Everything You Do. Personal development can be really fun and exciting and it can also get a little awkward or uncomfortable at times. That’s because the magic happens outside of our comfort zones and that means taking uncomfortable action, trying new things, meeting new people, discovering ALL the parts of ourselves. 

I sometimes think of personal development like a really wild thunderstorm. It can be loud, and startling. We’re thinking, “when is the downpour going to end!?” and eventually the clouds part and a rainbow appears. It’s beautiful and mesmerizing and suddenly the rainstorm didn’t seem so bad. 


Ask yourself tough questions, take leaps and be compassionate in all the things you're trying and doing. If you’re showing up for yourself every day, you’re doing a great job. Like I said, you’re already on the right track by reading this episode and podcast. 


Join me on Instagram this week @vallavignelife to continue the conversation about how we show up for ourselves. Tag me in your stories or posts about personal development and all the things - I absolutely love connecting with you there.

 

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E139: Connecting & Communicating with Your Spirit Guides
 
 

E139: Connecting & Communicating with Your Spirit Guides with Jodi Vienneau

Learning how to trust deeply so that we can connect and communicate with our spirit guides…


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[1:33] Valerie LaVigne: Welcome back to The Women's Empowerment Podcast. Today we have an extra special guest, Jody Viana. She is a 50 year old woman. Mom, writer, author and spiritualist who happens to be psychic and communicates with spirit daily and Jody when I hear this, or when I read this bio out loud I think I have so many questions.



First of all, thank you so much for being on the show. Welcome, it's really great to have your podcast and also I wanted to mention that you are also Kennedy's mom and Kennedy was a recent guest on the podcast we talked about for us, so I'm excited to have a deeper conversation on spirituality but I know that you too are very different in your gifts and in your offering. So could you tell us a little bit more about what you do?



Jodi Vienneau: Well thank you so much for having me. And yes I am Kennedy's Mom very proud of her. I've been nagging her all her life to lean into her abilities, so I'm so glad she finally is.



Episode 135: Beginner’s Guide to Auras www.valerielavignelife.com/kennedy 



​So I'm sorry I forgot the question. You want to know the difference in our offerings in our abilities.



VL: Yeah, let us know more about what you like to offer what you, how you tap into your gifts and your abilities.



JV: Okay, so I am a psychic. I am medium. I also have medical intuitive abilities. I receive messages from spirits who all of my senses. So I hear them I see them, I feel them I smell messages I taste things, I get sensations in my body, I get a lot of messages through color.



So often when I'm doing a reading.



I'll do a scan, like in my mind's eye, I do a scan, and spirit will show me differently. I scan like a, you know, the light on a photocopy machine, the bright white light that slides across the tray. So I do that with my energy but it goes down, the person's body. And so spirit will change the color of the light, and also correlate sensations in my own body, as to what's going on with them, Whether it be emotional, physical, whatever. So, honestly, I received messages in the whole of me from spirit.



VL: That is really cool. I mean, it feels like a very intense experience. I guess when you're doing a reading, is this something that you've been able to tap into for a really long time. I know we've chatted before about this being like a spiritual muscle. So is this something that you've been working on?



JV: I have been psychic, having predictive dreams, my whole entire life. I can remember being little and being really clear.



Strangely detailed dreams. And then, you know, back in the 70s everybody watched the news together the evening news together, and I'd be we'd be watching the news a few months later and my dream would appear on the news as like a world event type thing. So I've had those abilities my whole life, as well as the Claire audience, which is hearing spirit, but I never knew. I never named it. They were just bad dreams to me, bad dreams that followed me in the day, you know, because it's scary when you're a little kid you hear someone walking around.



VL: Yeah, absolutely. I can relate to that too. I have very vivid dreams. I mean I don't feel that they're as predictive at times. However, they do feel so real and they did kind of come across as bad dreams for me when I was a kid, and not really knowing what to do about it so for yourself how were you able to navigate these abilities as a kid?



JV: You know, honestly. As a kid, like I said they were just bad dreams to me, and then through my teenage years. I kind of shut that off, there's already so much going on when you're a teenager that the last thing you need to pile on is, oh yeah, by the way, you know, I can hear dead people and, you know, I can tell you what's gonna happen to you in the next few months, that kind of thing. So I've shut that off, though I would say through my teens, and my 20s. And then when I had my two daughters.



It started waking up again. And I, that's when I discovered that I could travel like mentally and energetically into their bodies, like if they had the hiccups, I would travel inside their bodies, and relax their diaphragm to get their head, or hiccups to go away. So I guess it started coming back online. When I became a mom, and then when my marriage and my husband was very black and white, raised in the church, you know, he was just a non believer. So then once that ended, I had the freedom to just really lean into them. So I'd say the last like nine years is when I really full throttle, lean into them. Let's see all this, show me what kind of thing I've got..



VL: Wow that sounds incredibly brave! I just want to give you a big hug! Ah, that's so amazing and empowering, which is really all about, and I know that's what you're about to do is empowering people with their spirituality and with their gifts. You do so much more than read people but you also help teach people is that correct?



JV: Correct. I love teaching people how to connect with their own team of spirit guides. I love giving them the tools to co create their best life, you know, I'm not a professional I'm not a therapist or anything like that, but through the messages from spirit that I get, you know, their spirit team knows their plan they know their blueprint they know our strengths and everything, and there are signposts right so I love being able to help help kind of turn the light and shine it on the path. That's to come if that makes sense.



VL: Yeah, I love that you're great analogies, I feel like I'm really in and I feel like I'm getting that body scan image I'm getting this light on the path like, I'm almost envisioning a dark windy road, but the light posts are are lit up as you start to walk through.



JV: Yeah, that's exactly, that's exactly what I meant, it’s the writer in me.



VL: It's helpful for a lot of people because I think a lot of what you're saying to a lot of people are, are, you know expressions or abilities or phrases and things that a lot of people don't have the connection to on or not sure not aware. I know for myself when I hear something or see something that not everyone else sees. I initially label it as weird or strange because it's different, and growing up I had a French teacher who always said different is not the same as bad in that sense.



I like to come back to that and just giving, almost like this permission that it's okay to be different and it's okay that something is changing and or whatever is happening so you know that works in the spiritual world, it works in the physical world, so to speak.



So, to people listening who are curious but they don't have this same strong spiritual muscles as you, where do we start with getting to know our guides we all have them. I know I've dabbled in this a little bit, but this is also somewhat new to me. I've heard of spirit guides. I've had. I did a Reiki training and we talked a lot about spirit guides and I kind of felt connected to them but I also feel like I don't know how to get back into that so where do we start with our curiosity?



[10:10] JV: So the very, I would say the very first thing is awareness, and permission. I mean we are sovereign beings so we have to give permission, part of the blessing and a curse of being human is freewill. And, you know, we, we have to give our guides our angels. Everyone permission to communicate with us to contact us. So that's number one is giving permission. And you know, just about everyone has seen like repeated number sequences or something like that, that's it, that's the first sign that. Okay, things are starting to happen, things are starting to amp up. So, noticing versus permission, then you need to notice, pay attention, you know, we all see probably 100 Different signs and messages throughout the course of our date, but we don't necessarily notice them.



So it's starting to pay attention to different things that catch our attention. So maybe you see, maybe you get in your car, and you turn on the radio and song playing, and you think, oh my god, I haven't heard this song since me and so and so, you know, 10 years ago we're doing whatever. And, maybe, you know, there's someone connected to that song that has passed on. So you've noticed that song, you've named what it means you think of. So that's how you begin the language, the dialect, with your gods we teach them how to communicate with us, it's not just a nor a natural. Oh yeah, they're gonna know how to talk to us. We have to teach them the meaning behind everything that we see if I see a penny or if I see a robin or if I see whatever. What does that mean to me what does that make me think of who does that make me think of how do I feel. And so then, when we say that when we name that, Then our spirit guards will go. Okay, got it, got it. You know, that's when she sees a penny. She thinks of her grandma, and her when she was five, and she she felt this, so then they make a note. Okay, pennies equal this. You know what I mean. So that's how we, It's really permission and then paying attention, and then naming it. Naming how we feel, who we think of what we think of, it's all a part of building that dialect, and then we will just start, you know, all of a sudden those 100 signs that you maybe didn't notice in a day. You can't not notice them. Do you know what I mean?



VL: Yeah, absolutely. Can I share some examples of some signs that I, we usually get, so I also see repeating numbers I usually see 1111 Or like, 444. I see those a lot. And then I also see Cardinals remind me of someone.



When I see dimes, that reminds me of multiple people really but it's more just like okay I know that this is the right path, but the quadruple like four ones in a row is huge for me and I see it.



But yeah, it's usually like an animal or a coin, or a repeating number and even if it's not 1111 Like if it is 444 I'll know that it's relevant to whatever's happening in my life, it's just not the. So, and then sometimes they look up online like what does that number sequence mean, but usually it's just like okay it's confirmation, like, I'm in the right place right now. Yes, like a signpost Yeah, exactly, yeah. And then, actually, Kennedy said something to me in my last reading where she said Deja Vu is a symbol for you that you're on the right path. And yesterday I had deja vu as a kid all the time. And I get it less frequently now, but I always wondered what that meant and I did kind of feel like it wasn't as an affirmation or confirmation that things were good.  I just wanted to share some of my examples, but I totally understand that love and awareness and permission and they like it's almost like it's like you're placing an order and you're like, Alright, I need a sign, I'm looking for this, this reminds me, this person, and yeah, That's really a huge part of communication with anybody is saying, what you want 100% It's so simple.



JV: Yeah, it really is. We complicate things unnecessarily. I mean, in every area of our lives. It's true.



Okay so we're on the path we decide that we're bringing awareness we decided that we are, you know, seeing the signs and, like myself, I see 1111 I see the cardinal, I'm not really sure what to do with all of this



VL: Okay so we're on the path we decide that we're bringing awareness we decided that we are, you know, seeing the signs and, like myself, I see 1111 I see the cardinal, I'm not really sure what to do with all of this.



[15:20] JV: Now what you know that is the tricky one and the one that personally, I struggle with is trust, you know, that analogy of the lamps, turning on, you can't see any farther than your next step. And for someone like me who has serious control issues it's like Are you freaking kidding me like, no I need to know the next four or five steps don't just breadcrumb me, but it's that trusting, It's, it's a combination of trusting yourself and trusting spirit universe God source whatever it is, because we are never ever ever just walking blind never we're just not, and understanding that and reminding ourselves of that can be really hard. And so, you know, it's hard. I wish I could just say, Oh, yeah. So when you see this, then you just do this like it's just not that simple. You just have to trust that when it's time to take that next step, the stepping stone will appear, the light will turn on and you will be guided.



VL: WOW! I feel like I’m in an Indiana Jones movie LOL okay, and yeah this is definitely a tricky part for a lot of people, especially when it's a lot of the unknowns right it's different, it's new, it's uncertain. You know there aren't a lot of people who will not in my community I guess who would be able to understand or relate to this and have the conversation that we're having right now but that's a lot of trust. 



JV: It really is. It is scary. Very, very scary I'm not gonna sit here blowing smoke and rainbows up your ass. Yeah, it's scary and it's frustrating and it's infuriating and it's, you know, even for me like I could sit down and give you a reading, and I can give you with excruciating detail what's going to happen, potentially what could happen, that's a whole other conversation. In the next few months of your life, but for myself. I don't get that kind of insight. And so it's even more frustrating because I really have to trust. And you know when you got trust issues like me, and control issues it's like you. Is this a joke, like, come on man.



VL: It's like this catch 22 is right.



JV: But the thing that can help us is that connection with our spirit guides so can we talk a little bit more about, like, who is our, our in our spirit guide what kind of team do we have working with us here. Do we know. So, how do I best answer this, our spirit team is made up of angels.



​​Here's what I personally have seen, and what I believe is that our spirit team is made up of angels, other beings, be them, Animal planetary, you know, that kind of thing.



Possibly, I haven't come into a lot of connection, have passed on loved ones being a part of someone's spirit team, especially not someone that we have known in our current life.



But it's usually beings that we're connected to on a soul level that our higher self knows, you know, they're all people who have chosen, I feel like they are our number one, support, and cheering team, you know they want to see us make it to the end of our planned blueprint, and they are there, you know they have volunteered to help us do that. So these are all people, beings, energy, who love us and support us more than we could ever experience or imagine in this earthly body. Do you know what I mean I know that sounds really grandiose, but that's really what it is, their sole purpose is to support us as we move through life, so sorry to circle back your question, how do we know who they are, you can do different meditations and try to meet them.



It's a, that's also takes a lot of trust, because we're so skeptical, and we're so pessimistic, you know, we may think that we're not. But if we meditate, we're like okay, I'm going to hold space, a good visualization is okay to sit quiet, go to a special place in your mind someplace that you love that you feel comfortable and happy. Maybe it's a beach, maybe it's a park, maybe it's a forest and envision two seats, you're going to sit in one, and you're going to invite one guy at a time to come sit in the other and maybe it's a picnic table, maybe it's a dining room table, whatever you feel comfortable with and whatever resonates with you, then you're going to get quiet, you're going to give that permission for only beings of the highest vibration and only those who work for the highest good of the collective, to come in, and then you have to trust, you know, when we do this. A lot of people, they might go no, I got nothing. No, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, and then they get frustrated and then that ego mind kicks in and it's like okay well I'm a failure I don't have a team, I'm a loser. This is stupid. Why don't even try, or a being will come in and sit down and you'll have a conversation. Maybe you can't make out their physical features, But you will feel them, you'll hear them, something like that, but then you're like, can I just make that up. Is that real, like, that can't be real. That was just my imagination. Well our imagination is one of our most powerful spiritual tools that we have. So that is one way that we can connect with our guides, you know, you have to give permission, then you have to trust what you're receiving and seeing right. Those are so important in this spiritual journey.



[22:10] VL: I like it. It's simple, but it's not easy to do. It's a simplified concept.



I really liked that and I think it kind of ties well into your handle spiritual coffee and like you're inviting these spirit guides to come have coffee with you like let's hold let's, let's connect in in a different way and I feel like this could be a really great daily practice and tapping into who these people are and each time just giving yourself that permission to let go of the ego, let's just see what happens. Let's just try it on, let's just see how it goes, or feel how it goes.



It reminded me of, also a friend of mine, she went to an angel workshop and she was saying that the facilitator was encouraging you know when you can't open a jar or when you're having trouble reaching something or you can't find something you just go.



It reminded me of, also a friend of mine, she went to like an angel workshop and she was saying that the facilitator was encouraging you know when you can't open a jar or when you're having trouble reaching something or you can't find something you just go.



It reminded me of, also a friend of mine, she went to like an angel workshop and she was saying that the facilitator was encouraging you know when you can't open a jar or when you're having trouble reaching something or you can't find something you just go.



Yes, and that's part of that permission is like it's okay if I don't see the person or the guide, or if I don't feel them or if I don't hear them, you know whatever comes through is, is what's coming through and not shaming yourself about it like it didn't work.



whatever the self doubt that creeps in, because I know for myself, I will get like a little bit freaked out, like, oh my god, I was just thinking that and then that person said it out loud I'm like no that's weird, like, no, and then I'll shut myself down and then I'm like, thinking well that's not how you grow.



it was just such a yeah that was a really, really great way to I like the idea of like meeting the person because they're the guide, I should say, because then it really is like, Okay, I'm taking these three steps forward. The guide now is kind of coming like we're both coming together this way and you're like hey come to me. I need to see. Right, yeah, yeah. So okay, let's say we have the awareness, and we have the provision, and we are trusting and all the sudden, wham bam someone appears. And, or whatever we feel their energy. However, it comes to us.



How then do we cultivate this connection or this relationship with this guide, and continue to build the trust and the muscle of the spiritual muscles?



[25:09] JV: For me personally, I'll use myself as an example, my guides. Well, I can see their physical features so they look different, but they also was always saying at the beginning, I received messages from spirits through all of my senses. So they, their voices sound different, their energy feels different, or I might see a different color. 



So I think it's important when you make that connection that contact to pay attention to how you feel. Like how does your physical body feel, do you feel a sensation on your right side or on your left side do you feel a cool breeze on your ear.



Do you have goosebumps on your leg. Do you, do you smell something, you know, Do you taste something in your mouth, your guide will like have a signature, they'll let you know how you can recognize when they are with you. And, you know, they're, they're just honestly they're just waiting to communicate with us. And so when we reach out to them they're like Oh, thank God it's finally happening you know, and then I think it's a matter of just building that relationship the same that you would with a person, a human persons you it, you know, just step by step, whatever you're comfortable with. You have to respect your own boundaries, and then it goes back to building that dialogue that dialect. And you, you know, saying okay this is, this is how I'm going to communicate with you, you know, if you want to communicate with me. This is how you do it and I mean literally, you can say out loud those words, or you can think it, you know, we're all energy so you don't have to walk around saying, you know, Hey, spirit. Got you, you know, that kind of thing you can think it, and the message will get through so I think it's just a matter of recognizing who is with you. And, and learning their signature, and then building that dialogue.



VL: Yeah, that sounds simple enough *laughs*



JV: I mean, it really is, we overcomplicate things.



VL: I mean, it really is, yeah, definitely overcomplicate things Right exactly and the ego gets in the way and the self doubt, and all those things yeah I think yeah, I think it's a really great place to start in terms of like, deepening our spiritual journey and working through that bad practice of letting go, surrendering to whatever comes up, and really allowing yourself to follow that, that's the signature of that.



So, it leads me to the question, how many of these spirit guides do we have, or is it different per person?



JV: It's been my experience that it is different for everyone. I mean, I've done readings for clients, where I've seen like and a veritable army standing behind them, and more recently I did a reading for a client. And their main guy was the only one that would show Himself to me, and I knew I could sense that there were other guides behind, but he was, he was the gatekeeper and he wasn't letting me see anyone else. So it's really, it's my experience and like I said, everybody has different experiences everybody sees things differently. Everybody has their own opinion on things right, they're like belly buttons, but it's been my experience that there really isn't a set number.



​​ If I had to generalize, I would say at least five, at least.



[29:29] VL: That’s pretty cool. And then it gives us some, some room to kind of explore that and see like invite a new person each time we go into that session, right, and say, for someone else. Is there something else I need to know is there, I always ask, is there something that hasn't been said, oh that's a good one. I like that one, which actually I'm going to ask you is there something that I haven't asked you yet that we should know about your guy.



JV: I don't think so. I mean I think it's really really important when you are opening yourself to spirit like that whether you are trying to hoping to reach out to a passed on loved one, or trying to connect with your guides, it's very very important that you create that high vibrational space, and you only are inviting in beings of the highest vibration, and those who are in it's so important, who are working for the highest good of the collective, because I mean, spirits like people like yes we're all energy and we're all souls, but there's different levels of vibration, right, and if you just open it to everyone, then you invite in those lower vibrational energies, that's when you can start to get draggy and you know you're it's violating like you wouldn't want some truth coming in your house, and it's the same way so you have to set those boundaries, and make sure you're only in those with the highest intention for the collective. So that's what I would say before you. Anyone can contact spirit, anyone can. But it's very important to set those boundaries first.



VL: First, I feel just like spiritual dating.



JV: Oh god, yeah.



VL: This has been such a cool conversation, I feel like I'm going to spend some time meditating tonight and invite only the highest good and set those boundaries first



When I feel like I want to revisit some of my Spirit Guides stuff I feel like it's been a really long time. I did and actually I do have one more question now, Do your staff guides change or do they stay the same your whole life?



JV: I think they change, I think, not all of them change. But I do believe, at different points in your life. They have different roles. I think that we all have main ones that stay the same throughout our journey. But I do think that some of them are just meant to come in for certain chapters of our lives.



VL: So fun! This might be, well this is a selfish question but I'm gonna ask it anyway, you are there any spirit guides of mine that are here right now?



JV: I actually feel that there's, there's one standing, if I'm looking at you on the screen here, behind your, I guess that would be your right shoulder, yes, there. I'm really picking up on like a masculine energy there, he I feel also like the color. It's like an indigo color I feel like he's wearing Indigo.



He's really bringing awareness to my teeth, and my mouth. He's. I feel like he's funny. I feel like he was like some sort of artist. He's got a very, he's got a lot of flair about him.



It's, I don't know if he's your main guide but I feel like he is here because he really was interested in this conversation that we are going to have, he's got a really pointed like aquiline nose He would call it an aquiline strong nose, black hair, kind of, just to his chin, I guess. Yeah, he's, he's interesting. He's really amused by this conversation that we're having.



VL: Maybe I'll, I'll try to channel him in my meditation. Yeah, yeah. That's so fun. Well thank you so much for sharing that. And again, incredible conversation, but we do have a couple more segments of the show so before I go into the final segment, I do want to ask you, where we can find you, where we can follow you, how we can get a reading or support your business in, and all those things because I know that people listening are going to want to know what their spirit guides are saying to.



JV: Oh I love that.

WEBSITE + OFFERINGS www.spiritualcoffee.ca 

INSTAGRAM @spiritualcoffee_ 

FACEBOOK /spiritualcoffee



VL: I always find that I tend to go to a spiritual reading when I’m looking for some sort of confirmation or some sort of direction. Almost like I;m a little too nervous to take that step into the darkness/or the new awareness, and then someone like you will do what you said and shine that light forward a little bit more and say, “oh yeah, this is the next best step, or avoid that because it’s just going to take you longer.”



So I’m sure people listening who are either curious, or looking for confirmation or that kind of thing, would love to connect with you!




[35:55] RAPID FIRE ROUND

1. What are you currently reading? What’s your favourite book?

JV: I'm usually an avid reader. But the last couple of years, I've really had a hard time focusing. But I've really been trying to force myself to get back into it. So I'm actually, I'm actually reading an erotica book, right, because you know. Variety is the spice of life. So I thought on TikTok, it's called desperate measures by Katie Robert.


It combines my love of Disney with my love of erotica. If that makes sense, it's kind of a twisted pairing, so don't judge me for that.

Desperate Measures by Katie Robert 



2. What do you love most about being a woman?

JV: Oh, good question. What do I love most about being a woman… You know, I think women are so underrated. I think women are under appreciated. I think we're under estimated. I feel like being a woman is like, I mean really, we can do anything we're magic we're, we're, we're creators, we are creators, we're the givers of life. And I just think we're, we can be soft, we can be hard and driven and focused, we can be. 



We can be the givers, we can also be the receivers. You know we can be the trailblazers, but we can also be, you know, the in the masses that support those who go ahead and blaze the trail so I guess I just like that. We are so multifaceted so complex. And really, I mean I love that we can be fierce and sexy and soft and spiritual you know what I mean, I just love, I guess I just love the multifaceted ways of being a woman. That was a really good question. 



3. What does empowerment mean to you?

JV: I love empowerment. How do I want to word this… It means being humble enough to know that we don't know everything, but also having the courage to ask for the tools that we need to move forward. I feel that that is very empowering.



Being open to receiving what we don't already have or what we maybe don't recognize that we have. And that enables us, strengthens us, gives us the courage, the faith, the tools to know how to move forward.



4. What are you currently working toward?

Professionally: Writing a book. Don't write a book, and then get open heart surgery and take part in a global pandemic and all that because you'll have to restart it many, many, many times.



Personally: This is gonna sound so cliche. You know, I'm 50. But I really, I just really want to be in love again I really want to.



I'm hoping that Happily Ever After is in my cards so I guess personally that's what I'm working towards if a person can work towards them.



VL: I think they can. Yeah, I think you can do anything. As you said I think women are underestimated and we can do whatever we want and if this is what we're striving toward then, then yeah. Remember to trust, with a capital T!



Now Jodi, this was awesome! I learned so many new things, I think that you are an incredible human. I think that you have an amazing daughter, who I'm also going to link to in this episode too but, yes, this is a great like I love having these conversations. I like to learn all about that stuff. I feel super motivated to meet with my very fun, indigo guide!



We're gonna have a fun little coffee date meditation together. But thank you so much for your gifts. Now I just want to say that I really appreciate your time. I appreciate what you do and how bold you are and brave you are with all of the spiritual gifts that you have and I know I shared this with you privately but it's very inspiring to see how you work. So I just wanted to say that, again, thank you so much.



JV: Thank you so much it really was fun. I could talk about this stuff forever. So fun.

 

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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