E143: How to Make the Most of Your Exercise
 
 

E143: How to Make the Most of Your Exercise with Tiffany Ricci & Kendra Miller

From flowing through your female hormone cycle, to maximizing your energy levels, plus what to eat before and after your workout, and more!


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[1:31] Valerie LaVigne: Welcome back to the Women's Empowerment Podcast. I'm very excited to welcome two new guests to the show. Tiffany and Kendra registered dietician, nutritionist Kendra Miller and Tiffany Reiki, are here to help you improve your health through nutrition and exercise, they have experience with a variety of other athletes, ranging from those who are just beginning an exercise routine to ultra endurance competitors, looking to improve their performance. Kendra and Tiffany know what it takes to get your energy back and improve your performance through healthful nutrition coaching, accountability and support. Welcome ladies to the show so great to have you. 



And we touched on this a teeny little bit before we started recording but in the guest submission One of the things that we kind of learned about you was that the two of you have only met in person, two times. And when I read that I thought, oh my goodness, like how do you run this business, where you're not actually together and so I'd love to learn a little bit more about your business and how you, how you do this?



[2:36] Kendra Miller: Well, I would say that it started, virtually in the first place, because we were both living in Alaska and as we know Alaska is a very fast and wonderful place, but it's not close together so a lot of our communication that we had was via email and patient whether it's Skype with a tie him or something of that nature and it just carried on from there, we really connected and when we met in person finally with the Alaska Dietetic Association, it we just hit it off, and we were in very similar places in life, and the friendship just blossomed from there and when we both decided to move down to the lower 48 was around the same time. And we're like, Well, where are they? Again, you know our worlds collided and we were back in the same place in some capacity not physically, but in more of that other realm. And we're like, oh well we want to work together, we want to continue to help specifically moms to really understand their health and fitness through nutrition, and so with that our business develops and we continue on with the cross country entrepreneurs, you have today.



Tiffany Ricci: we stay connected with Marco Polo, and, and weekly meetings that we meet on Zoom. Every Friday so that we are not missing out on much.



VL: It's amazing that you have these systems in place and I feel like that's so important to running a business, but obviously to be running it virtually across the country is also so important so yeah that's amazing that you have these tools, and I think this is quite, quite a gift to to entrepreneurs and to these type of networks and communities is to have this technology that really brings us together. So, the moms that you support and that you help, are also all over the US are they all over the world. Where are they?




TR: the moms that we work with, we work with online so they're all over the place. We have some, I mean, locally and then also, in many different states, I don't think we've had anybody



KM: oh no one international in Germany right now, We've had some in England, and I don't know if anyone else but those are the two countries that I know besides the US that we're working in.



VL: No Canadians yet?



KM: Not yet.



VL: That's so crazy, I would have I would have guessed that you would have had Canadians well maybe after this podcast because I'm based in Toronto Canada so yeah I never know we could open that up to it, but we're actually here to talk about something a little bit more specific when it comes to the health and wellness industry I feel like there are tons of topics that we can kind of reach into and discuss a little bit more about, and we're here to talk about making the most of our exercise, and when I saw this, this kind of specific topic I got so excited because I'm a health and wellness coach. 



I am a Pilates studio owner, and there are, I guess, myths, there are a lot of myths or just some ideas that don't always serve every single person, and I love working with women because I guess there's just this really cool innate flow to to who we are and how we work, and how we work out and how we get our energy so I was really excited to talk a little bit more about this and really cover like moms but also women so, take us away who wants to start.



KM: I can start because I think you've nailed it whenever you started talking about women have this flow in their life and that's so true because once we hit puberty, we literally have a flow and with that, that also affects our nutrition, and we can't look at our lifestyle without looking at our cycle and so a lot of what Tiffany and I do is looking at the whole woman, and seeing okay well where are you at in life, what are your hormones look like, know our day to day life, what how that affects our nutrition what our new trician needs during that time, we know that the latter half of the cycle, your energy increases by eight to 16% your energy needs. And so your, you should be getting more food during that time. That's why we crave things and so we work with our clients to really understand how to work with your body, rather than against it so you can get what you need out of not only being interested in but also your exercise, too.



[7:24] VL: I'm so glad that this is being talked about because I recently finished the book. Woman Code by Alisa Vitti and I'm just obsessed with her. She has a new book coming out, but really talking about our monthly cycle and how it's broken into these four kind of phases, this wasn't something that I was taught when I first got my period, this was not part of a conversation and health classes is not a conversation with my mom or any other kind of female figures in my life. 



Being able to now, at 30, being able to now read this book, and, say that okay what I'm going through feeling this law at this part of the month but really excited at the next part of the month. It doesn't have to be a 24 hour cycle in fact it's closer to that 28 day cycle. So, I mean, it's life changing for women, and I'm so happy to hear that this is part of how you work with women and how you support them. Do you mind if we talk about each of those four phases and maybe like a hot tip for the exercise in each of them.



BOOK: Woman Code by Alisa Vitti

https://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/B009NFNBO0/ref=as_li_qf_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=valerielavi01-20&creative=330641&linkCode=as2&creativeASIN=B009NFNBO0&linkId=bda24d7d662a7d185932ac7c344b651e



KM: Not at all. So when we talk about our cycles, I'm gonna pull up my notes here so I don't forget anything but when we're talking about our cycles we're dividing up. For those of you that don't know and to the four phases. 



[FOLLICULAR PHASE]

So we have our menstrual cycle we have initially a follicular phase and that time right after we bleed and that's the time that we feel probably the most refresh time that we can really go on and push through. And so what we're doing. That phase is, we want to focus on our endurance, we want to see how far we can go, we're running, we want to attend to really measure a distance there too.to really push ourselves in that capacity.



[OVULATION PHASE]

When we go on to our ovulation phase, there's just that time that we are having the most energy during the month that we have this vitality that we can really capture, we're going to look at our exercise and if we're trying to like really perform and increase our cardiovascular work, we're going to look at doing intervals. So that's at a time that you're going to really succeed during that, and really push yourself to really, again, get your heart rate up for a longer period of time, bring it back down and have fun with it. So, whether it's a spin class whether it's interval training, whether it's a hit workout whatever that time may be that's whenever you're going to really enjoy it the most. For one, and number two, see the most benefits from your exercise or physical aspect of it.



[LUTEAL PHASE]

When we go into our luteal phase. It's a longer phase and with that you can do. Some people try to live it up for example so you start at the beginning of that phase you're working on your string, maybe you can still go a little bit harder. If you're working on cardio, you know, you can still do that there's nothing against that. But as you go through that luteal phase, it's going to kind of taper off you're going to feel like you're getting tired and that's totally normal. And that's what we talked about listening to our body. So yes you're focusing on your strength, we kind of look at your form. So, even though you're doing cardio, I'm going to use running as an example, you're looking at your form for running, so making sure you're landing with mid foot strikes and focusing on that rather than focusing on getting your pace below a certain marker I that's not what you're going to want to do, so you're focusing on the strength workouts,



[MENSTRUAL PHASE]

and then as you get into your menstrual phase, you're going to either rest or look at two calming techniques whether it's Pilates, or yoga, or something that's not going to stress your body and it can really work on that healing aspect of it, as you're recovering and getting ready for that next round of work.



[11:11] TR: Yes, and then as you during your bleeding when Kendra had mentioned this before. That's when your hormones are actually at their lowest. So it's your body is doing a lot of work to shed the lining, and it's a time that if you, you know, this is where women can't be 100% every single day because our bodies don't function that way. But if you feel like resting, absolutely. The other thing is it because your hormones are so low, it could be a time that you could PR, you know, and this is something this is where you really have to listen to your body because if you let's say that you've been training for a race, and then the race falls on the day of your you know your period or the middle of your period, it doesn't mean it's all for naught you should throw it out. If you have been listening to your body for the previous month, and really resting, you know, during the latter half of your luteal phase, you could bust it out, you know, but you just, it's really paying attention to your body.



​​But if you, you know, if you haven't been listening, if you haven't been feeding it that extra energy that you need in that latter half of your cycle, then you're just going to be way below the bar. So, one thing that women just aren't taught I feel is to really listen to gather the data on your body. When you are, you know, having.



[13:13] VL: That's great advice I'm so glad you said tracking because, as a healthy habits coach, this is pretty much like a very core part of how I work with people and it's really using the data and collecting the data and tracking whether it's our habits or our cycle or our mindset or whatever it is, and I find it so helpful because I've done this to was tracking my cycle and I've actually put it out in my calendar so that when I'm, when I'm booking in podcasts events, or when I'm booking in my workouts, I know that okay, this week is going to be a little bit of a lighter week maybe I don't use weights when I'm working out of the gym maybe I go down lighter weights, maybe I'm focusing on that yoga practice whatever it is. So, that is so perfect. Can we chat just like really briefly about each of them, the amount of days, or the typical number of days that we go through each cycle just so that people who are listening, if they want to start tracking it, how they can do that.



TR: Yes, that's a very good question, you're at the beginning of your follicular phase, like right after you're done with your period, is about five to six days, and then the ovulatory phase is also very small. Again like five, six days, your luteal phase can be anywhere from 10 to 14 days. And so then your period is anywhere from like three to five. So just depending, we say, you know, the average is like a 28 day cycle, but that's the normal for that, in air quotes which you can't see on a podcast is, you know, anywhere from 22 to 32, so you can still be within normal range.



Outside of that, So just depending on where you are and the nice thing about tracking is that if you, if you can kind of, you know, it's really hard to, to feel your body change unless you kind of know that it's coming up so there are apps for tracking which can kind of help you.



You know, physically see where your body is and then take that, okay well this is my follicular phase and this is how I feel, and kind of really press that into your memory so that you can kind of keep like it'll it'll just kind of, you know, almost like a smell like, I know that if, if I walk in the house and it smells like this.



So I know that if I'm in my curriculum. This is how I feel regarding my luteal phase this is how I feel. That can be really helpful.



VL: Great, and I'm glad that you kind of reiterated the fact that everyone's going to be a little bit different and we might be sitting near the 28 day range and other people might be sitting in more of a 32 day range so it really is about that connection with self and getting to know what your body is doing, and I, so I find personally is that my cycle has changed.



And it tends to change, but more frequently or more often, I should say, if I'm traveling, those things kind of change up but then again your exercise routine changes when you're traveling to right so there's just lots going on with our bodies and definitely that self connection. That connection to self being more mindful and power feeling, I think that's important and that can be involved with our tracking. 



Now, there are other ways that we can make the most of our exercise that are a little bit more specific to the day to day so we kind of taken this big picture of, okay, the 28 to 3832 days cycle, we know that these are the energy levels so these are the types of workouts that we're going to fit in with those. Let's say, Day one, you can pick the day whatever day you want, what are we doing before, during, after, let's get a little bit more specific.



KM: This is one of our favorite topics I will say it's just kind of drilling it down and figuring out what do we need, and where do we start with, and so for example let's start with the beginning of the day, we always say you need to practice like a queen, lunch like a princess, and then are like a popper so when you are eating throughout your day, you need to make sure that you are fueling for your day, you are not going to be burning your energy as much during the night so you don't need a big meal before you go to bed, and they have to just sit there when you need your big meal when it needs to be full of carbohydrates yes I said carbohydrates, maybe that's a whole pot in this modern day world but you need carbohydrates which is a totally different topic that we could go on for hours about, but for the purposes of this podcast we're going to say, make sure you have carbohydrates to start your day, make sure you have the protein that fat to really build up not only an energy bolus, to keep you going throughout the morning, but also to give you the satiety and to feel good and to really understand that, oh, This is going to be what I need us to be up to start off with that breakfast like a queen and enjoy it loaded up and have fun with it.



As we start moving after again, and we're going through our exercise we want to make sure that we're feeling for exercise too. So at least 30 minutes beforehand, make sure you have some carbohydrates on board. I have like I said, carbohydrates, that's what we mean when we're exercising, that's what we're burning most frequently. And so we need to make sure that we have those on board so we can get the most out of our exercise. So, eat a little bit before your exercise or drink a little bit if you're saying oh it's in the morning and I don't want to eat before I run, that's when you don't have to eat. Just drink a little bit of juice, we would never say drink juice any other time during the day but when we're talking about our exercise bubble we say okay, this is how we can feel it, maybe it's you have a graham cracker or to feel it, do whatever works best for you because that's going to give you the fuel that energy that you need to power through and have a really excellent workout, one that's, you're not going to be already behind the eight ball before you even start seeing to make sure you're feeling up correctly. If you're having a long distance ride, or if you're doing a long workout anything that's more than 60 to 90 minutes, and you're going to want to think about feeling through that workout. There's lots that can go into that effect so I'm not going to go into detail with that, but making sure that you are feeling through if you're hitting that threshold, and then the other key factor is recovering so making sure you refueling so you just spent these energy stores, you need to recover with it, you need this three to one, at least ratio of carbs to protein A lot of people think, Oh, I just need a protein shake. After I finish the workout when in truth you just burn all these awesome carbohydrates but you need to refill those stores, so you're going to want to make sure that you not only have the protein. Proteins are good. You want to make sure those muscles get what they need, but you also need to make sure that you have the energy source from the carbohydrates to replace this by good storage. So you have the energy to keep going so you don't hit the afternoon slump so you're not like where's my energy that I need another coffee. Would it be three or five o'clock in the afternoon, and what was the end of the day.



​​So you want to make sure you're recovering correctly, as well as using up correctly and then having that balance of energy to get through the day to where you are at in the evenings.



[20:43] TR: I mean everything that Kendra said. 

And the reason we really encourage carbohydrates, particularly when women don't do well, faceted anything. And the reason is if you think about going back to our cycle. We're made to get pregnant, every single month, so your body is like, Well, okay, it's another month, here we go like we're going to get ready and she's definitely going to get pregnant this month, and your body doesn't know that maybe you're not trying, or you're done or, you know that you're still in lockdown I mean, but, but if you fast so exercising fasted, particularly for women just causes a huge cortisol response. So if you're potassium exercising all the time I'm hardly eating anything and I'm not toning up I'm not leaning down. Let's because your body is preparing for you to get pregnant, and it's going to hold on to those stores and fat stores, because you're not giving it enough, so there's no reason to ever be shy, and feel like you can't have something before a workout or particularly if it's a really long workout during, and especially after because your body will respond will respond in a stressed out state, especially if it's chronically ongoing so one thing that you know, there's a whole, wide array of issues that can happen with females cycles when they're not healed well and infertility loss of cycle all of that, and it can just be as, as a simple fix as fueling your exercise, you know you've had your whole day cluster exercise so, and the best form to do that is carbohydrates because it's quick energy that your body needs to just go go go.



[22:33] VL: Amazing! SO many great points you’ve made. 



 I have a bunch of questions. First I'd like to touch on the fact that you said, the fasting isn't usually healthy for women and I'm so glad you said that because I actually used to intermittent fast for a really long time I did this, and it was actually just recently I would say last summer where I stopped doing because I was watching issues, and most of those were rooted in adrenal fatigue. So, basically I was just like, very stressed out, even though I wasn't really stressed out my body felt very stressed out. So my mind wasn't as stressed as my as my body was but everything felt really hard I was always tired the sun made my size sensitive all of these things, basically, screaming at me that's my adrenals were fatigued, I ended up working with a nutritionist who helps me. And one of the things that happened even though she didn't tell me to start eating breakfast right away was because I told her I was like I'm not hungry in the morning, and it's because my body is still my livers was still working really hard to digest yesterday's food, and it wasn't ready for the next thing, but I've had gotten into this really bad habit you could say. So anyways after working with her and kind of being on the supplements and kind of rebalancing my hormones and reducing my stress and all these things, I noticed that I was actually becoming really hungry in the morning. And the only reason why I started fasting was because I was doing something that I like to call intuitive eating, and basically I was eating because I was hungry and not because someone told me that you should eat breakfast because it's the most important meal of the day, I was doing what my body needed, and so now I'm I was. Then I got to this point where my body needed breakfast, so it's made a massive difference in my everyday health and energy levels, I do have to say I love starting the day with a glass or two of water and a super yummy breakfast I feel supercharged for the day. I feel ready to take action. I am not. I'm not crashing into a I'm not like ravenous after a workout, I mean I'm hungry after workout, if I do this is a tough workout but it's made such a difference.



So I, like I said, I'm really glad that you said that and I think it's worth, worth investigating for anyone who is fasting to take a step back and just try to reintroduce some food into your morning so glad you said that and then, which kind of brought me back to a question that I had when Kendra was speaking about fueling up and refueling, I get this question all the time. What do you eat before and after our workout, so I don't know if you have like favorite things, or a couple little cheat recipes you want to share, but I know that question is going to be asked.o I, like I said, I'm really glad that you said that and I think it's worth, worth investigating for anyone who is fasting to take a step back and just try to reintroduce some food into your morning so glad you said that and then, which kind of brought me back to a question that I had when Kendra was speaking about fueling up and refueling, I get this question all the time. What do you eat before and after our workout, so I don't know if you have like favorite things, or a couple little cheat recipes you want to share, but I know that question is going to be asked.



KM: Oh yes, I love those kind of questions, and Tiffany and I are very different on what we really enjoy before and after workouts, and so it depends on how long before I workout, because if you're just doing like, if you need to eat something 30 minutes before it's going to be different than what you're going to be eating two hours before. I want to work with our clients to kind of figure out what is that like some people can eat 30 minutes before it doesn't work for them, but we want to make sure they have carbohydrates and maybe a little bit of protein on board, two hours before so they don't have to, so it doesn't upset their stomach. So there's little nuances that we look at with our clients to make sure that they are getting what they need, what works with their body, but what we like. Back to this is, you know, if we talk about any type of simple carbohydrates, a lot of, again, we talked about fueling during your exercise bubble. And so this is not going to be things that you necessarily have with your lunch or dinner or with your breakfast, they're going to be simple carbohydrates. So we're talking about like white rice instead of brown rice because you're taking out the fiber you're taking out things that slow your digestion, so you want to avoid anything that has a lot of fiber or a lot of fat, so we're looking at, okay, maybe it's some raisins. Yeah, those have some fiber in them, those worked really well for me. They don't work really well for other people, maybe it's a little bit of juice, maybe it's some graham crackers, a bagel, whatever it is that has simple carbohydrates. So we're not going for the 100% Whole grain here, which we would otherwise, but simple carbohydrates are going to give you the carbohydrates, and the energy that you need to fuel your workout. Now when we're talking about refueling, you can totally include those whole grains in there you could, you know, one of our favorites if it's just a quick thing and you're not going to have a meal. I think Tiffany and I both agree that dates and Almond butter we're big fans. Big fan.



Days and all those better ones are I think both of ours, like go to peanut butter and jelly sandwich, US movie is another one that we really love.



What are some other ones, Tiffany? I feel like I can't think of them now that I'm on the spot.



[27:29] TR: if I work out early in the morning like Kendra was said that 30 minutes. I keep little bottles of apple juice on hand in case by I have three boys in case somebody gets constipated because they don't drink juice regularly so that works so like four ounces of apple juice for me will be enough despite my energy to get me out the door, but in the, if I have a couple of hours before the mid morning workout I know Kendra is definitely peanut butter and jelly sandwich in the morning, all the time on the way.



And I am oatmeal. I put lots of stuff in there and, and I love oatmeal and that keeps me nourished, it's digested, two and a half hours before I do my workout, the dates and almond butter or dates and almonds work perfectly trail mix is another refuelling I'm sorry the dates and almonds are repealing trail mix, so if you have some nuts, particularly, maybe salted nuts, and you know the stuff that you can get at the store that they even sold the raisins, like, and you have a little bit of chocolate in there, because that has, you know the sodium the potassium and magnesium that you need to help recover. So some trail mix with, with a, with some water works perfectly or I love Lara bars, those, they're, you know, prepackaged and they're just dates like fruit and nuts and that's a good carbohydrates, help to open up the cells to take in the amino acids from the proteins. So if you just have a protein shake without carbohydrates, then you are not going, then the protein isn't going to be doing the work that it should be so yeah and or it'll be lunch, like I will if I work out mid morning, then I'll have an early lunch, and that'll be whatever you have for lunch, which is perfect



[29:21] VL: You’re making me hungry! 



Oh my gosh, Now I just want dates and some even better. I haven't had that input ever. I totally forgot about the snack. This is brilliant. Those are some great examples I feel like they're not as talked about, in a lot of health and wellness kind of circles or communities. They're such a negative connotation with carbs as we've been saying but they are so important and I definitely think that they need to be a part of our daily dietary intake so glad that we touched on that. That's super exciting. So we're fueling up before we're refueling after, and then we're staying in the flow with our hormonal cycles.



Is there anything else that we should know to make the most of our exercise?



KM: I think one thing that we tend to forget is rest, because when we read, we're not only just resting our muscles and our bodies, but we're also resting our digestive system. We are allowing ourselves to recover allowing those muscles to regenerate and to repair, and we do that, not only, and I had this the other day and I can't remember exactly where I heard it, But you're good sleep starts with breakfast in the morning, and I have not. I can't say how true that is because we're talking about breakfast like a queen. But that also means that we're tapering up throughout the rest of the day so whenever you get to dinner. You're not going to be eating it, you know 30 minutes before you get into bed and you're not going to be loading up because your body is still while you're trying to go to sleep, it's still trying to digest that food it's already working on something else, it can't focus on what it needs to. So whenever we allow time to fully digest before we hop into bed, we're allowing not only our muscles the time to recover, but we're also allowing our bedroom.



You can wake up hungry in the morning, which is a wonderful day because that means that our metabolism is doing what it needs to do overnight it's doing, it's getting that energy to the cells, it's getting these amino acids, working to make sure that those muscles are repairing and so our body functions better whenever we allow not only our physical body to rest our digestive system, as well as our muscles but also our mind too. So, another thing that probably has not a whole lot to do necessarily in some ways, with nutrition but yeah you starting those healthy habits which Valerie you talk about a lot is making sure you know you're turning off your phone so you don't have that blue light that's affecting your sleep beforehand, you're getting rid of any type of worry and stress that you may need to maybe it's journaling before bed and you feel good before bed, so you can really enjoy the rest and relaxation that comes from it and so you're ready to take on the next day.



Getting hungry for breakfast and getting fuel for the rest of it.



TR: Yeah, no, that's absolutely perfect and Kendra and I talk a lot about mindful eating, especially as an athlete until we work with mother athletes, but it's not Olympians or the you know the people that are in the trials right now for the Olympics here in the United States. It is, it is, is moms, it's women who exercise, pretty much because you are busy and women take on, you know all the things you've taken care of a house then work and kids and, and then throwing an exercise. On top of that, so mindful eating is, you might not be hungry after your workout, because it was hot because it was a hard workout, but you're going to be, but you need to refuel so this is where almost that mindful eating is is paired with intuitive eating because Intuitive Eating would say, I'm not really hungry right now I shouldn't be mindful eating would say, but you just exercise, so you need to feel that or you need to have breakfast in the morning to fuel your whole day so that you can rest at night, and where that starts with a good breakfast and if you're not a breakfast eater, then it can be hard to get into the habit, because when you start eating in the morning, you're triggering a whole cascade of hormones that are coming from your gut, and you're turning on that huge engine of your digestive system, and that can be disruptive to just, you know, if you're not used to it can be disruptive to your appetite. So, one thing is just to start small, like a piece of toast a banana.

You know, just something that you can enjoy and get down maybe it's, and that's all that you have, but at least getting started and you'll get used to it and if you give yourself, you know, over time, like you said, now that you did, you were starting to get hungry and that's really important so pairing that mindful eating, along with your outcome, because even when you're, you know, for example when you're sick, you don't feel like eating or drinking anything but you know you need to drink water, so that you don't become dehydrated, that's that mindful writing over intuitive so about writing or I should say, paired well with.



[34:38] VL:Yeah, that's a great yeah that's a great point. I like that mindful eating and it's, it's really true and I think that's part of listening to your body and understanding your cycle and understanding how our bodies work. They need energy, they need fuel. We just burned a ton of energy we needed to refill that. That's amazing. So you said he worked with mom athletes who exercise. Can you tell us a little bit more about how we're what it's like to work with you, is it one on one, do you do group coaching, how does it work.



KM: We have services that we work with for group coaching right now so we have our mother athlete membership, and that is a membership for moms that are looking to decrease that food stress so we give our clients, a pre planned meal plan and this is not saying like you need to eat this many calories, this is no this is saying hey, here's what's on the menu for dinner so you can avoid that, what's for dinner question and it just eases the stress it uses the burden from that. With that, they get group, office hours, so kind of like in college whenever you go to your professor for office hours, they can come to those twice a month, ask the dieticians anything. We have a chat function so if they do have questions outside of that time period, they can ask the dietitian, we review them and really work with our clients there to understand what they need to help ease that food stress. We also offer our feeling intensive course and that feeling intensive course is really taking moms and Mother athletes from this cycle of, you know, often diet cycle ditching that diet cycle and reframing the mindset around food and nutrition. In order to get off of that. That train, and really find sustainable and healthy habits that are nutritionally sound and work with their bodies to get what they need to really achieve those goals. And then we also have our feeling the mother athlete course, and that's another group program, and that is a self paced course it is for the moms that kind of have a grasp of nutrition already but are just having to take their exercise to the next level, Or maybe they're a coach or an instructor that works with that athlete, and they want to help their clients really understand their health and nutrition better as well. So those are the types of things that that course is really geared towards. And then we also offer individual coaching on a case by case basis, so if someone is saying well this doesn't really 50 But I'm interested in. Let us know, let's chat about it. We have a free performance call and love hearing from our clients so what it is that they want to achieve, how we can help them get there through nutrition and exercise.



VL: Awesome. Well, where can we find you, how can we follow you? 



INSTAGRAM | @fuelinglifenutrition

WEBSITE | ​​http://www.fuelinglifenutrition.com 



VL: So all of this sounds amazing. I'm assuming that we can get access or we can get more information about all of your offerings on your website. Correct, yeah. Okay, perfect. So, we'll make sure to include those as well. And before we jump into rapid fire is there any last little piece that we want to add? Are we feeling good, feeling ready for the rapid fire round?




RAPID FIRE

1. What are you currently reading? What’s your favourite book?

KM: Ross Poldark (Book 1) by Winston Graham 

TR: Atomic Habits by James Clear

The Pilgrims Promise by John Bunyan




2. What do you love most about being a woman?

TR: The thing I love the most about being a woman is that it's not this, per se, like there's a lot of change in the way that I see things the way that I approach things and I feel this obviously due to my hormones, and, and I love that it's not always the same.



KM: I would say, kind of, a couple on that is that, because I'm a woman I could bear children, and see them grow and have this and just biological understanding of them and I know for some women and I respect that but I am very fortunate that I've two wonderful children and because I'm a little bit I got to experience that and it's been the greatest.



3. What does empowerment mean to you?

KM: Empowerment is the opportunity to build yourself up or to be to have that feeling of accomplishment that is to say, in the back of your mind, I can do this. And that's really at the body, empowerment to be is that I can do this.



TR: Yes, I think, when I think, you know how some words are visual, I think, like if I'm empowered that I'm, I'm raised up, like I'm on a, I don't want to say a pedestal because I don't want to be put on a pedestal, but you know that you can, you're kind of like you're just higher than the better view around, I guess, is what I would say so because of that you can see more, experience more, do more.



4. What are you currently working toward?

TR: The ​​easier question would be, when am I not working. I have a habit tracker, and I know that Kendra does too and I think if I, if there's been an overarching theme. Over the past year and a half. I'm trying to work on the balance between work and rest in finding this good job of including weekly rest into my week, and teaching that to my boys, and that it's not, go go go go go all the time so that is, that has been a, that's been a long time and I think that everything is trying to get towards that.



KM: It's kind of the same thing because what I'm working on is saying, no more frequently as silly as that sounds like when they say yes is your greatest is your greatest Yes, is saying no and that's really what I'm kind of coming back to I have this type A personality and when I say no this is something that I really, I've decided that, and it's okay because that makes my yeses more important, and so I'm really loving towards that this summer, specifically HOAs are amazing.



VL: I'm so excited for you both and I want to say something, Tiffany, about your, the idea of slowing down and not being so go go go. I think what we have been programmed as the North American society does is just really tell us that we need to be doing all the time needs to be going all the time and if we're not doing and taking action and doing these things and we're doing nothing when it's not true. Resting is an addition it's something we can add into what we're doing. Rest is important. And if we really want to look at what's happening when we're resting, we can talk about that refueling we can recognize that our bodies are re energizing, things are happening, when we rest so I just wanted to say that to, to maybe give you that permission to to do less or to do nothings, air quotes again, because it's so important for our health, and of course our exercise like we talked about today.



[43:48] TR: Yes, that's, that's good, because there's not It's not nothing, it's resting, which is an active thing, so that's perfect, thank you.



VL: Yeah, absolutely. Ladies, this was such a wonderful conversation I'm really glad we had to we got to have this talk, I think it's something that is really important to discuss all parts of our cycle are flow, finding this rhythm and creating kind of this own connection with ourselves to be more mindful and, and really considering the the fuel and the refueling, when we're talking about our workouts and being active, I think what you are doing is so incredible and so powerful, I have a great feeling that it's going to expand to Canada. I don't see why when.



But yeah, I really wanted to acknowledge you for for your work and for making your business work even across a country and, and now globally so congratulations on your expansion into Germany. That's so exciting. And, yeah, it's incredible what you two are doing so, thank you so much for that.



KM & TR: ​​And thank you, Val for having us on. We had just a wonderful time. Yes, such a fun topic. Yes, thank you very much.

 

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E142: Rituals for the Signs (Part 2 of 2)
 
 

E142: Rituals for the Signs (Part 2 of 2)

Combining my love for Astrology with my passion for creating rituals in this two-part series. Here for Aquarius, Capricorn, Pisces, Aries, Taurus, Gemini, and Cancer…


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Episode 141: Rituals for the Signs (Part 1 of 2)

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Let’s start with… the best zodiac sign...

[4:34] AQUARIUS (January 20 - February 18)

My sun sign is Aquarius, so yes I am biased but honestly this sign is the best. Aquarius are the water bearers, these are mystical healers who give water or life upon the land. Now because of this, many people think Aquarius is a water sign, however it is actually one of the Air signs of the zodiac.


This sign is known as the humanitarian of the zodiac. Aquarians are revolutionary thinkers and aspire to change the world through radical social progress. You enjoy a combination of social time and alone time and you are excellent at observation. You are a free-spirit and not a fan of the same routine every day.


Morning Ritual: Start your morning with a yoga practice so that you can tune into your body and mind, strengthen the connection and mix up the stretches based on how you’re feeling for the day. This means some mornings will be a deep breathing workout, while other mornings can serve you to relax and restore. Plus, you’ll need some alone time before connecting with your friends during the day. 


Evening Ritual: Socialize in the evening without having to be too social Aquarius. Open up insta and catch up on your fave accounts, reply thoughtfully to comments and dms, and then watch a couple episodes of your favourite show. 


[6:39] PISCES (February 19 - March 20)

Pisces is the last sign in the zodiac calendar, but certainly not least. You are emotionally sensitive, emotionally aware, sympathetic, and incredibly caring. You are gracious, imaginative, and creative. You are also very much an empath and absorb other people’s energy. Similar to Scorpio (from last week’s episode), you can be a little psychic.


Morning Ritual: Pisces is ruled by the planet Neptune which governs our dreams. You love to sleep and dream. Prioritize peace in the morning. Light a candle, pull an oracle card, and write about your dreams in your journal. This could be your literal dreams or your hopes and dreams for the future. Ease into the day, but don’t hit snooze, the day is ahead of you Pisces. 


Evening Ritual: Your evening ritual stars as soon as you get home. Change into your most comfortable clothes, put on the kettle and cozy up with a cup of tea. You could retreat like Cancer and soak in the tub, or put on some music and journal alone in your room. 


[7:55] ARIES (March 21 - April 19)

Aries is a leader, a go-getter, a trail blazer. They are the first of the zodiac signs as it relates to the zodiac calendar, which I mixed up for this two part series because I wanted to start with the Leo’s for Leo season - anyway! Aries are great at starting projects and very action-oriented, however they get easily distracted and often have many incomplete projects on the go. Speaking of “go!” Aries prefers to work over rest.


Morning Ritual: Turn up some music and start your morning with exercise so that you’re ready to take on the goals for the day. Break a sweat in any form of movement you love. Following your workout, drink plenty of water and fuel with a protein shake. Before diving into your to-do list, Take a moment of mindfulness. This could be a deep breath, setting an intention, or checking in with yourself. It’s easy to disconnect from yourself when you’re always on the go, so this one is important to include.


Evening Ritual: In the evenings dear Aries, focus on tying up the loose ends from the day. Wrap up the projects you started in the morning so that you can allow your mind to relax. Because you are always taking action and have lots of pent up energy - even in the evening - you would benefit from a quick stretch or a set of jumping jacks to burn off that energy before heading to bed. It might sound counter-intuitive to others, but a stimulating evening activity is the perfect way for you to wind down and transition to sleep.


[9:42] TAURUS (April 20 - May 20)

Taurus enjoy the finer things in life. You tend to move organically through your days and your life and unlike Aries, prefer rejuvenation over action. Since Taurus is ruled by the planet Veus - a planet that governs love, beauty, and money - it will come as no surprise that nurturing your connection to loved ones, and self care are very important to you.


Morning Ritual: There is no need to rush in the mornings Taurus. Make sure you have lots of time to get ready for the day. Taurus is a sign well known for its appetite and love of food, and breakfast is a must! Indulge in a delicious meal, sit and enjoy your coffee, and allow yourself extra time to choose an outfit for the day. 


Evening Ritual: An ideal evening ritual for you Taurus is to gather all the cozy blanks and snuggle up with your loved ones (kids, partner, or pets). After dinner enjoy a delicious dessert or glass of wine, do a face mask before heading to bed. While getting ready for bed, play your favourite music, dim the lights and fluff your pillows. Allow yourself to separate mentally and physically from the day. 


[11:00] GEMINI (May 21 - June 20)

Gemini’s are the social butterflies of the zodiac. You are playful, quick thinker, intellectually curious, and genuinely love connecting with people. You tend to find routines boring and prefer to mix things up on the regular.


Morning Ritual: Rise and shine Gemini, the day is yours for the taking, and the talking. The morning is like a green light: wake up and send those emails and texts. Connecting with others gives you the energy you need for the day. While reading the headlines, and sharing interesting articles with friends is part of your routine, incorporate inspiration into your mornings. A perfect ritual for you would include reading a page of an inspirational book, or an app that sends you a motivational quote for the day. Something to stimulate your mind, and set a positive tone for the day ahead.


Evening Ritual: A wonderful evening ritual for you Gemini is spending time connecting with your family or friends. Give them a call or FaceTime them in the evening. With a different conversation, or even a different person, you’ll never get bored. 


[12:09] CANCER (June 21 - July 22)

Cancer is ruled by the moon. This sign is all about self-care, nurturing, and comfort. You are a homebody and can be sensitive to your surroundings, so keep this in mind when getting cozy in your space. You also value your alone time while also being an incredible caretaker and hostess with the mostess!


Morning Ritual: An ideal morning for you Cancer involves spending some time with your pets or garden. Speak to them and nurture them, adding some sweetness to your morning. Take a shower or a bath first thing in the morning and visualize it washing off your sleep and rejuvenating you for the day. You can also spend the time in the bath or shower meditating and relaxings as you focus on your goals.


Evening Ritual: You’ve probably spent a lot of the day surrounded by, or helping others, so you’ll be needing a retreat from the world. Before getting cozy in bed, take a long soak in the tub (hot shower if you don’t want to bath). But like really get into this ritual, really soak in the tub for a solid 30 minutes and mentally, and let’s be honest emotionally, wash away the day. If you’re up for more of a social evening, spend time preparing a delightful meal for your friends and/or family as caring and hosting others brings you joy.

Share your signs and rituals with me on instagram @vallavignelife

GET YOUR BIRTH CHART WITH THIS BIRTH CHART CALCULATOR

 

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

Categories

Download the FREE Dream Lifestyle Roadmap

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E141: Rituals for the Signs Part 1 of 2
 
 

E141: Rituals for the Signs (Part 1 of 2)

Combining my love and curiosity for astrology with my passion for helping others with their wellness through healthy habits. Here are the first six signs of the rituals for your zodiac series…


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[5:11] LEO (July 23 - August 22)

Leos are the royalty of the zodiac, and are known for their playfulness, high-energy, and creativity. You are the one at the parties basking in the spotlight and celebrating yourself. But when the bright-burning flame of Leo burns out… They are done for the day.


Morning Ritual: Tap into your creativity in the mornings. You can do this through writing, choosing a bold outfit, or singing to your favourite songs in the shower. Your morning ritual is never boring because you always show up playful and ready to step into the spotlight. In fact you can do so by jumping on insta stories or posting that new TikTok.


Evening Ritual: As a social lion(ess) you are, incorporating others into your evening routine with a dinner party, a games night, or a social gathering would be an ideal evening ritual. Don’t worry, this doesn’t have to mean a party every night of the week, it could also mean family dinner followed by a quick game of Catan or cards or maybe charades! Perhaps you FaceTime a friend before bed, or maybe an online game before resting your head for a long, deep sleep.


[6:35] VIRGO (August 23 - September 22)

Virgo’s approach life logically, practically, and systematically. You are very task-oriented and enjoy being busy. It seems as though you’ve always got one eye on the to-do list and you’ve already started making tomorrow’s to-do list. Tidiness, organization, and personal development are very important to you.


Morning Ritual: Your to-do list is already organized and ready for the day. Of course you have a solid morning routine mapped out, but self-care needs to be prioritized if you’re going to take on the day with precision. Make your bed, take a few mindful breaths, set your daily intention, and take your time with your hygiene routine so that your mind is sharp and clear first thing in the day.


Evening Ritual: If you haven’t already done so Virgo, the evening is the perfect time for you to cross off your to-do lists for today. Wrap up any lingering tasks and then prepare your goals and action steps for tomorrow. Before heading up to bed, “kiss your kitchen good-night” by cleaning up the last of the dinner dishes, wiping down the countertops, and perhaps putting out your coffee mug and spoon for the next morning. Spend time winding down with a self-help book, your journal, or listening to an inspiring podcast.


[8:15] LIBRA (September 23 - October 22)

Libras adore high art, intellectualism, connoisseurship, and aesthetics. Appearance and one-on-one connection are important to you. You value putting effort and attention into how you look, as well as real conversations. 


Morning Ritual: You know that the morning is important for setting the tone for the day, and your morning is all about creating balance. You do this through your daily yoga practice or tai chi. After your sun salutations and breathwork, spend time putting yourself together, from hair to makeup, your whole outfit, and anything in between. Now you’re ready to take on the day with confidence.


Evening Ritual: An ideal evening for you dear Libra would be to connect with your partner, FaceTime a friend, write a letter, or send a handmade card. It’s also the perfect time for you to put down your phone, pick up the latest fiction novel or travel magazine and be transported to another place. Before you escape mentally, lay out your well-thought out outfit for tomorrow.


[9:39] SCORPIO (October 23 - November 21)

Scorpio is a passionate, intuitive and emotional water sign. You are known to be a little psychic and/or clairvoyant at times. Although this has it’s advantages, it can also leave you feeling quite emotionally drained and exhausted because you tend to take on the energy of others. Speaking of energy you are not afraid to work hard for your goals and are in it for the long game.


Morning Ritual: Intensity and extremes excite you so why not incorporate that into your morning. Pick your poison each morning, a cold shower, a HIIT class, or a list of hairy scary goals to take on today. You are a force of energy and your intention is to THRIVE, but don’t get caught up in other people’s ish… protect yourself with a mindful meditation covering your aura and not letting other people’s energy latch on like a leech to your determination. 


Evening Ritual: Connect to your element Scorpio and soak in a warm bath. Line the tub with some candles, or get out some epsom salts, essential oils and crystals to conjure up a little relaxation and release potion for your soak. This will help you leave any heaviness for the day behind you as well as reconnect to your power for a more restful sleep. For a quicker version of this ritual, have a shower before bed and visualize the energy and emotions you carry washing off your body and aura. Then light a candle before bed and write your gratitudes in your journal.



[11:55] SAGITTARIUS (November 22 - December 21)

Sagittarius is honest, intellectual, and optimistic. You are a lover of freedom, beauty, inspiration and contemplation. Hilarious, honest, and usually with a lot of your friends; socializing and collaborative activities bring you joy. You have lots of energy and enjoy getting physical and going on adventures.


Morning Ritual: Good morning Sagittarius, spontaneity is calling your name. Take a new route to work, press shuffle on your podcast playlist, or open to a random page in your book on motivational quotes. Oh and wake up a little earlier so you can tap into your soul’s cravings and indulge in last-minute adventures. Each morning has its own workout and you’re usually meeting a friend to try the latest class and the hottest studios. 


Evening Ritual: Your ideal evening ritual combines your need for movement and beauty by taking a walk or doing a yoga practice under the stars. Of course you love the company, so invite a friend or your partner and appreciate the sparkling evening sky together. The evening is a wonderful time for you to catch up on the next episode of a docu-series you’ve been watching, and journal, before your mindfulness/meditation practice before snuggling into bed.


[13:31] CAPRICORN (December 22  - January 19)

Of all the zodiac signs Capricorn is the hardest-working. You are ambitious, determined, strong, and value getting ahead in life. You can multitask like a pro and you’ve always got a project going on whether that be at home or at work. 


Morning Ritual: Your ideal morning starts with organization. Write out your list of everything you want to accomplish. Prioritize your list, then schedule your tasks into the calendar, because as you know: what gets scheduled is what gets done. Kickstart your motivated morning with a quick cardio class and tackle the tasks list.


Evening Ritual: The evening for you is about spending time wrapping up your projects. Once the boxes are checked off for your work tasks, you can take care of the personal projects and give the attention to your home, or perhaps an upcoming trip. Getting ish done helps you relax and if there is still time leftover in the day before the pillow calls your name, you can fish off the book you’ve been reading on your nightstand, or pack your gym bag, lunch bag, and work bag to make for a more productive morning the next day.


Share your sign and morning/evening rituals with me on Instagram @vallavignelife


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Next week we’ll discuss the second half of the zodiac signs 

Episode 142: Rituals for the Signs Part Two

 

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

Categories

Download the FREE Dream Lifestyle Roadmap

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E140: 10 Ways to Show Up for Yourself
 
 

E140: 10 Ways to Show Up for Yourself

Today I’m sharing 10 ways to show up for yourself. Before we dive into the main points, I wanted to share why I felt this was so important…


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For those of you who may not already know this, I am a Healthy Habit Mentor. I completed my Health Coaching certification I think four years ago now and while discovering my own strengths, passions, and purpose I uncovered my gifts in helping others develop impactful habits, routines, and rituals. The little actions that seem insignificant, but lead to MASSIVE growth and transformation are what I’m all about.


And as much as I support my one-on-one mentorship clients with their day to day habits, the real growth and change need to come from you. I can definitely help you create, start, and focus on the right action steps. I can absolutely hold you accountable for the work, and I will show up for you and your goals. 


But I can not do the daily habit for you. I can not take action for you. YOU my darling, need to show up for yourself too. 


Now I’m thrilled to tell you that just by reading the show notes to this episode you’ve made the first move and completed an action that supports positive change for your life. If you’re ready to learn AND take action on the deeper work, then please, continue reading.


Let’s begin…


[3:34] Number One: Commit to Habits, Practices, Routines, and Rituals that support your health and well-being, even when you don’t feel like it.


Our daily habits and practices are either helping us or hurting us but they are always working. Meaning we have good and bad habits and depending on which ones we are doing and nurturing, well the outcome will correlate to the type of habit. 


Showing up for ourselves means committing to the supportive habits, even when we’re not feeling like it. I can’t tell you how many times I thought “but I don’t want to floss tonight” and then I flossed anyway. Or “I don’t feel like working out” and then I did it anyway. Each time feeling SO MUCH BETTER for sticking to the healthy habit. 


It’s true, we’re not always going to want to do the uncomfortable, healthy thing every time. But that’s what honouring yourself is. It’s doing the tough work, it’s staying consistent with the healthy habit, it’s understanding that lasting change takes time and not everyone succeeds, because not everyone is willing to do the work.


[4:51] Number Two: Learn to Forgive Yourself. Each and every one of us has made mistakes, we all have a past, we aren’t perfect. 


We know that showing up means doing the work, and we also know that missing a day doesn’t mean we fail. Consistency doesn’t mean every day, it means never giving up.


Which is why learning to forgive ourselves is so crucial. The next time we forget something, or we don’t know the answer, or we get “off track,” take a moment to pause, breathe, and redirect the energy to a more supportive action. Like letting go, self-compassionate thoughts, or getting back on track again. 


I have a previous podcast episode on forgiveness rituals if you would like to go deeper into this work for yourself.

E119: Forgiveness Rituals


[5:58] Number Three: Allow Yourself to Feel ALL the Feels, Judgement-Free!. We are human beings, and along with our strengths, passions, mistakes, and shortcomings we also experience emotions. 


Honour those feelings. Lean into them so that you can truly feel them and then allow them to pass. It’s okay to feel hurt, angry, sad, happy, proud, excited, etc. 


What isn’t okay is to let ourselves get caught up in the feelings and wallow or languish. There is and will always be another side to the feelings we have, including the good ones. 


Release the need to judge ourselves for feeling upset. It’s better to feel it and then release it, so we can move forward.


[6:55] Number Four: Another way we can show up for ourselves is by Listening to What We Need. Part of connecting to our emotions and feelings is also learning to understand them, and learning to understand ourselves.


Each of us has different needs, and there will be different ways to meet our different needs. Enjoy the process of getting to know yourself more. 


How are you feeling right now?

What do you want to be doing/pursuing/thinking/speaking?


Not asking, what would the other person in my space want to eat or watch or visit, what do I want to eat/watch/go?

What does self care mean to you?

How do you define boundaries?

Where/when do you experience pleasure?


Keep the questions going, journal them if you feel called to. I sometimes call this dating yourself, because really you’re discovering who you are, and all the things that make you special, and beginning to fall in love with yourself. 


[8:06] Number Five: Allow Yourself to Start Over. It doesn’t matter where in life, your career, your projects, your relationships, or wherever else you are, you CAN start again. This is part of making mistakes, learning curves, learning about yourself, and growing. 


Start over if you need to. Start over again. As many times as you need. 


This is your journey and not anyone else's. You do you boo.


[8:40] Number Six: Remind Yourself that You Are Worthy. I saw this video on Instagram of a little girl who hurts herself and her mom says, “Repeat after me: I am strong, I am brave, I am worthy.” And you know what… When I’m feeling down, I take a deep breath and say the same things to myself. 


When you start believing and reminding yourself that you are worthy you are not only showing up for yourself, but you are showing up for the other women and people around you. 


Standing in your light and power gives others to do the same, AND it also teaches others how to treat you. This is huge. Also listen up, especially my wooey peeps… knowing your worth attracts abundance and all the things you are manifesting, because just like how it teaches others how to treat you, it tells the Universe how you are worthy of your desires and dreams.


Let that sink in for a moment.


[9:50] Number Seven: Prioritize Your Health. This is part of knowing your worth. Taking care of yourself and prioritizing your health screams I AM WORTHY!


Stay hydrated, nourish your body with whole foods, get enough sleep, and move your body daily. Do the things that help you glow from the inside out. 


One of my favourite sayings is: A healthy woman has a thousand wishes, a sick woman has one.” 


We’ve all felt ill at one point in time and I know that when I’m sick, the ONLY THING I want is to feel better. Preventative health, our supportive habits, and taking care of ourselves is the foundation to living a fuller life; to showing up for ourselves and our goals.


I am often reminding my clients that healthy can be simple, and fitness can be fun. Let this become part of your lifestyle.


Since I started prioritizing my daily hydration I have noticed a huge change in my overall energy, mood, cravings, sleep, digestion, and skin! I drink at least half my body weight in ounces of water every day and I am very consistent with it. I also use tools and tracking apps to help me with these types of habits and they’ve kept me on track for over 60 consecutive days.


I use a bluetooth water bottle that tracks your water and connects to an app on your phone to measure your progress. It also has a glow light at the bottom that lights up to remind you to drink. You can also turn on notifications on your phone to remind you when to drink.  


[11:51] Number Eight: Give Yourself Permission to Rest. Oh boy, here’s one I am constantly reminding myself of. Rest is NOT a reward. Rest is part of life, part of taking action, part of growth and development. 


Resting allows us to recharge and re-energize for the work to come. We NEED rest. Our bodies and our minds need rest. Just like how meeting our needs will look different, so will how we take our rest and what that looks like.


Sometimes rest for me is 20 minutes of uninterrupted “me time.” It also looks like getting 8 hours of sleep every night. Often it means scheduling rest into my calendar, especially during the busy weeks.


For others it might mean a midday nap, or only putting 3-5 things on the to-do list every day. It might mean asking for help, or starting the day with a self-care routine. 


Rest is crucial and part of prioritizing our health. 


[13:13] Number Nine: Another way to show up for yourself is to Spend Quality Time with You! This is a great way to get to know who you are, and what you love. Reading, writing, crafting and creating. Maybe it’s spending time in nature or stretching on your yoga mat. 


Are you a knitter? Painter? Do you enjoy cooking new meals? Reading in coffee shops? Taking long luxurious bubble baths? 


Quality time with yourself is time well spent! Schedule this into your calendar if you need to.


[13:45] Number Ten: Invite Curiosity and Compassion into Everything You Do. Personal development can be really fun and exciting and it can also get a little awkward or uncomfortable at times. That’s because the magic happens outside of our comfort zones and that means taking uncomfortable action, trying new things, meeting new people, discovering ALL the parts of ourselves. 

I sometimes think of personal development like a really wild thunderstorm. It can be loud, and startling. We’re thinking, “when is the downpour going to end!?” and eventually the clouds part and a rainbow appears. It’s beautiful and mesmerizing and suddenly the rainstorm didn’t seem so bad. 


Ask yourself tough questions, take leaps and be compassionate in all the things you're trying and doing. If you’re showing up for yourself every day, you’re doing a great job. Like I said, you’re already on the right track by reading this episode and podcast. 


Join me on Instagram this week @vallavignelife to continue the conversation about how we show up for ourselves. Tag me in your stories or posts about personal development and all the things - I absolutely love connecting with you there.

 

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

Categories

Download the FREE Dream Lifestyle Roadmap

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E139: Connecting & Communicating with Your Spirit Guides
 
 

E139: Connecting & Communicating with Your Spirit Guides with Jodi Vienneau

Learning how to trust deeply so that we can connect and communicate with our spirit guides…


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[1:33] Valerie LaVigne: Welcome back to The Women's Empowerment Podcast. Today we have an extra special guest, Jody Viana. She is a 50 year old woman. Mom, writer, author and spiritualist who happens to be psychic and communicates with spirit daily and Jody when I hear this, or when I read this bio out loud I think I have so many questions.



First of all, thank you so much for being on the show. Welcome, it's really great to have your podcast and also I wanted to mention that you are also Kennedy's mom and Kennedy was a recent guest on the podcast we talked about for us, so I'm excited to have a deeper conversation on spirituality but I know that you too are very different in your gifts and in your offering. So could you tell us a little bit more about what you do?



Jodi Vienneau: Well thank you so much for having me. And yes I am Kennedy's Mom very proud of her. I've been nagging her all her life to lean into her abilities, so I'm so glad she finally is.



Episode 135: Beginner’s Guide to Auras www.valerielavignelife.com/kennedy 



​So I'm sorry I forgot the question. You want to know the difference in our offerings in our abilities.



VL: Yeah, let us know more about what you like to offer what you, how you tap into your gifts and your abilities.



JV: Okay, so I am a psychic. I am medium. I also have medical intuitive abilities. I receive messages from spirits who all of my senses. So I hear them I see them, I feel them I smell messages I taste things, I get sensations in my body, I get a lot of messages through color.



So often when I'm doing a reading.



I'll do a scan, like in my mind's eye, I do a scan, and spirit will show me differently. I scan like a, you know, the light on a photocopy machine, the bright white light that slides across the tray. So I do that with my energy but it goes down, the person's body. And so spirit will change the color of the light, and also correlate sensations in my own body, as to what's going on with them, Whether it be emotional, physical, whatever. So, honestly, I received messages in the whole of me from spirit.



VL: That is really cool. I mean, it feels like a very intense experience. I guess when you're doing a reading, is this something that you've been able to tap into for a really long time. I know we've chatted before about this being like a spiritual muscle. So is this something that you've been working on?



JV: I have been psychic, having predictive dreams, my whole entire life. I can remember being little and being really clear.



Strangely detailed dreams. And then, you know, back in the 70s everybody watched the news together the evening news together, and I'd be we'd be watching the news a few months later and my dream would appear on the news as like a world event type thing. So I've had those abilities my whole life, as well as the Claire audience, which is hearing spirit, but I never knew. I never named it. They were just bad dreams to me, bad dreams that followed me in the day, you know, because it's scary when you're a little kid you hear someone walking around.



VL: Yeah, absolutely. I can relate to that too. I have very vivid dreams. I mean I don't feel that they're as predictive at times. However, they do feel so real and they did kind of come across as bad dreams for me when I was a kid, and not really knowing what to do about it so for yourself how were you able to navigate these abilities as a kid?



JV: You know, honestly. As a kid, like I said they were just bad dreams to me, and then through my teenage years. I kind of shut that off, there's already so much going on when you're a teenager that the last thing you need to pile on is, oh yeah, by the way, you know, I can hear dead people and, you know, I can tell you what's gonna happen to you in the next few months, that kind of thing. So I've shut that off, though I would say through my teens, and my 20s. And then when I had my two daughters.



It started waking up again. And I, that's when I discovered that I could travel like mentally and energetically into their bodies, like if they had the hiccups, I would travel inside their bodies, and relax their diaphragm to get their head, or hiccups to go away. So I guess it started coming back online. When I became a mom, and then when my marriage and my husband was very black and white, raised in the church, you know, he was just a non believer. So then once that ended, I had the freedom to just really lean into them. So I'd say the last like nine years is when I really full throttle, lean into them. Let's see all this, show me what kind of thing I've got..



VL: Wow that sounds incredibly brave! I just want to give you a big hug! Ah, that's so amazing and empowering, which is really all about, and I know that's what you're about to do is empowering people with their spirituality and with their gifts. You do so much more than read people but you also help teach people is that correct?



JV: Correct. I love teaching people how to connect with their own team of spirit guides. I love giving them the tools to co create their best life, you know, I'm not a professional I'm not a therapist or anything like that, but through the messages from spirit that I get, you know, their spirit team knows their plan they know their blueprint they know our strengths and everything, and there are signposts right so I love being able to help help kind of turn the light and shine it on the path. That's to come if that makes sense.



VL: Yeah, I love that you're great analogies, I feel like I'm really in and I feel like I'm getting that body scan image I'm getting this light on the path like, I'm almost envisioning a dark windy road, but the light posts are are lit up as you start to walk through.



JV: Yeah, that's exactly, that's exactly what I meant, it’s the writer in me.



VL: It's helpful for a lot of people because I think a lot of what you're saying to a lot of people are, are, you know expressions or abilities or phrases and things that a lot of people don't have the connection to on or not sure not aware. I know for myself when I hear something or see something that not everyone else sees. I initially label it as weird or strange because it's different, and growing up I had a French teacher who always said different is not the same as bad in that sense.



I like to come back to that and just giving, almost like this permission that it's okay to be different and it's okay that something is changing and or whatever is happening so you know that works in the spiritual world, it works in the physical world, so to speak.



So, to people listening who are curious but they don't have this same strong spiritual muscles as you, where do we start with getting to know our guides we all have them. I know I've dabbled in this a little bit, but this is also somewhat new to me. I've heard of spirit guides. I've had. I did a Reiki training and we talked a lot about spirit guides and I kind of felt connected to them but I also feel like I don't know how to get back into that so where do we start with our curiosity?



[10:10] JV: So the very, I would say the very first thing is awareness, and permission. I mean we are sovereign beings so we have to give permission, part of the blessing and a curse of being human is freewill. And, you know, we, we have to give our guides our angels. Everyone permission to communicate with us to contact us. So that's number one is giving permission. And you know, just about everyone has seen like repeated number sequences or something like that, that's it, that's the first sign that. Okay, things are starting to happen, things are starting to amp up. So, noticing versus permission, then you need to notice, pay attention, you know, we all see probably 100 Different signs and messages throughout the course of our date, but we don't necessarily notice them.



So it's starting to pay attention to different things that catch our attention. So maybe you see, maybe you get in your car, and you turn on the radio and song playing, and you think, oh my god, I haven't heard this song since me and so and so, you know, 10 years ago we're doing whatever. And, maybe, you know, there's someone connected to that song that has passed on. So you've noticed that song, you've named what it means you think of. So that's how you begin the language, the dialect, with your gods we teach them how to communicate with us, it's not just a nor a natural. Oh yeah, they're gonna know how to talk to us. We have to teach them the meaning behind everything that we see if I see a penny or if I see a robin or if I see whatever. What does that mean to me what does that make me think of who does that make me think of how do I feel. And so then, when we say that when we name that, Then our spirit guards will go. Okay, got it, got it. You know, that's when she sees a penny. She thinks of her grandma, and her when she was five, and she she felt this, so then they make a note. Okay, pennies equal this. You know what I mean. So that's how we, It's really permission and then paying attention, and then naming it. Naming how we feel, who we think of what we think of, it's all a part of building that dialect, and then we will just start, you know, all of a sudden those 100 signs that you maybe didn't notice in a day. You can't not notice them. Do you know what I mean?



VL: Yeah, absolutely. Can I share some examples of some signs that I, we usually get, so I also see repeating numbers I usually see 1111 Or like, 444. I see those a lot. And then I also see Cardinals remind me of someone.



When I see dimes, that reminds me of multiple people really but it's more just like okay I know that this is the right path, but the quadruple like four ones in a row is huge for me and I see it.



But yeah, it's usually like an animal or a coin, or a repeating number and even if it's not 1111 Like if it is 444 I'll know that it's relevant to whatever's happening in my life, it's just not the. So, and then sometimes they look up online like what does that number sequence mean, but usually it's just like okay it's confirmation, like, I'm in the right place right now. Yes, like a signpost Yeah, exactly, yeah. And then, actually, Kennedy said something to me in my last reading where she said Deja Vu is a symbol for you that you're on the right path. And yesterday I had deja vu as a kid all the time. And I get it less frequently now, but I always wondered what that meant and I did kind of feel like it wasn't as an affirmation or confirmation that things were good.  I just wanted to share some of my examples, but I totally understand that love and awareness and permission and they like it's almost like it's like you're placing an order and you're like, Alright, I need a sign, I'm looking for this, this reminds me, this person, and yeah, That's really a huge part of communication with anybody is saying, what you want 100% It's so simple.



JV: Yeah, it really is. We complicate things unnecessarily. I mean, in every area of our lives. It's true.



Okay so we're on the path we decide that we're bringing awareness we decided that we are, you know, seeing the signs and, like myself, I see 1111 I see the cardinal, I'm not really sure what to do with all of this



VL: Okay so we're on the path we decide that we're bringing awareness we decided that we are, you know, seeing the signs and, like myself, I see 1111 I see the cardinal, I'm not really sure what to do with all of this.



[15:20] JV: Now what you know that is the tricky one and the one that personally, I struggle with is trust, you know, that analogy of the lamps, turning on, you can't see any farther than your next step. And for someone like me who has serious control issues it's like Are you freaking kidding me like, no I need to know the next four or five steps don't just breadcrumb me, but it's that trusting, It's, it's a combination of trusting yourself and trusting spirit universe God source whatever it is, because we are never ever ever just walking blind never we're just not, and understanding that and reminding ourselves of that can be really hard. And so, you know, it's hard. I wish I could just say, Oh, yeah. So when you see this, then you just do this like it's just not that simple. You just have to trust that when it's time to take that next step, the stepping stone will appear, the light will turn on and you will be guided.



VL: WOW! I feel like I’m in an Indiana Jones movie LOL okay, and yeah this is definitely a tricky part for a lot of people, especially when it's a lot of the unknowns right it's different, it's new, it's uncertain. You know there aren't a lot of people who will not in my community I guess who would be able to understand or relate to this and have the conversation that we're having right now but that's a lot of trust. 



JV: It really is. It is scary. Very, very scary I'm not gonna sit here blowing smoke and rainbows up your ass. Yeah, it's scary and it's frustrating and it's infuriating and it's, you know, even for me like I could sit down and give you a reading, and I can give you with excruciating detail what's going to happen, potentially what could happen, that's a whole other conversation. In the next few months of your life, but for myself. I don't get that kind of insight. And so it's even more frustrating because I really have to trust. And you know when you got trust issues like me, and control issues it's like you. Is this a joke, like, come on man.



VL: It's like this catch 22 is right.



JV: But the thing that can help us is that connection with our spirit guides so can we talk a little bit more about, like, who is our, our in our spirit guide what kind of team do we have working with us here. Do we know. So, how do I best answer this, our spirit team is made up of angels.



​​Here's what I personally have seen, and what I believe is that our spirit team is made up of angels, other beings, be them, Animal planetary, you know, that kind of thing.



Possibly, I haven't come into a lot of connection, have passed on loved ones being a part of someone's spirit team, especially not someone that we have known in our current life.



But it's usually beings that we're connected to on a soul level that our higher self knows, you know, they're all people who have chosen, I feel like they are our number one, support, and cheering team, you know they want to see us make it to the end of our planned blueprint, and they are there, you know they have volunteered to help us do that. So these are all people, beings, energy, who love us and support us more than we could ever experience or imagine in this earthly body. Do you know what I mean I know that sounds really grandiose, but that's really what it is, their sole purpose is to support us as we move through life, so sorry to circle back your question, how do we know who they are, you can do different meditations and try to meet them.



It's a, that's also takes a lot of trust, because we're so skeptical, and we're so pessimistic, you know, we may think that we're not. But if we meditate, we're like okay, I'm going to hold space, a good visualization is okay to sit quiet, go to a special place in your mind someplace that you love that you feel comfortable and happy. Maybe it's a beach, maybe it's a park, maybe it's a forest and envision two seats, you're going to sit in one, and you're going to invite one guy at a time to come sit in the other and maybe it's a picnic table, maybe it's a dining room table, whatever you feel comfortable with and whatever resonates with you, then you're going to get quiet, you're going to give that permission for only beings of the highest vibration and only those who work for the highest good of the collective, to come in, and then you have to trust, you know, when we do this. A lot of people, they might go no, I got nothing. No, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, and then they get frustrated and then that ego mind kicks in and it's like okay well I'm a failure I don't have a team, I'm a loser. This is stupid. Why don't even try, or a being will come in and sit down and you'll have a conversation. Maybe you can't make out their physical features, But you will feel them, you'll hear them, something like that, but then you're like, can I just make that up. Is that real, like, that can't be real. That was just my imagination. Well our imagination is one of our most powerful spiritual tools that we have. So that is one way that we can connect with our guides, you know, you have to give permission, then you have to trust what you're receiving and seeing right. Those are so important in this spiritual journey.



[22:10] VL: I like it. It's simple, but it's not easy to do. It's a simplified concept.



I really liked that and I think it kind of ties well into your handle spiritual coffee and like you're inviting these spirit guides to come have coffee with you like let's hold let's, let's connect in in a different way and I feel like this could be a really great daily practice and tapping into who these people are and each time just giving yourself that permission to let go of the ego, let's just see what happens. Let's just try it on, let's just see how it goes, or feel how it goes.



It reminded me of, also a friend of mine, she went to an angel workshop and she was saying that the facilitator was encouraging you know when you can't open a jar or when you're having trouble reaching something or you can't find something you just go.



It reminded me of, also a friend of mine, she went to like an angel workshop and she was saying that the facilitator was encouraging you know when you can't open a jar or when you're having trouble reaching something or you can't find something you just go.



It reminded me of, also a friend of mine, she went to like an angel workshop and she was saying that the facilitator was encouraging you know when you can't open a jar or when you're having trouble reaching something or you can't find something you just go.



Yes, and that's part of that permission is like it's okay if I don't see the person or the guide, or if I don't feel them or if I don't hear them, you know whatever comes through is, is what's coming through and not shaming yourself about it like it didn't work.



whatever the self doubt that creeps in, because I know for myself, I will get like a little bit freaked out, like, oh my god, I was just thinking that and then that person said it out loud I'm like no that's weird, like, no, and then I'll shut myself down and then I'm like, thinking well that's not how you grow.



it was just such a yeah that was a really, really great way to I like the idea of like meeting the person because they're the guide, I should say, because then it really is like, Okay, I'm taking these three steps forward. The guide now is kind of coming like we're both coming together this way and you're like hey come to me. I need to see. Right, yeah, yeah. So okay, let's say we have the awareness, and we have the provision, and we are trusting and all the sudden, wham bam someone appears. And, or whatever we feel their energy. However, it comes to us.



How then do we cultivate this connection or this relationship with this guide, and continue to build the trust and the muscle of the spiritual muscles?



[25:09] JV: For me personally, I'll use myself as an example, my guides. Well, I can see their physical features so they look different, but they also was always saying at the beginning, I received messages from spirits through all of my senses. So they, their voices sound different, their energy feels different, or I might see a different color. 



So I think it's important when you make that connection that contact to pay attention to how you feel. Like how does your physical body feel, do you feel a sensation on your right side or on your left side do you feel a cool breeze on your ear.



Do you have goosebumps on your leg. Do you, do you smell something, you know, Do you taste something in your mouth, your guide will like have a signature, they'll let you know how you can recognize when they are with you. And, you know, they're, they're just honestly they're just waiting to communicate with us. And so when we reach out to them they're like Oh, thank God it's finally happening you know, and then I think it's a matter of just building that relationship the same that you would with a person, a human persons you it, you know, just step by step, whatever you're comfortable with. You have to respect your own boundaries, and then it goes back to building that dialogue that dialect. And you, you know, saying okay this is, this is how I'm going to communicate with you, you know, if you want to communicate with me. This is how you do it and I mean literally, you can say out loud those words, or you can think it, you know, we're all energy so you don't have to walk around saying, you know, Hey, spirit. Got you, you know, that kind of thing you can think it, and the message will get through so I think it's just a matter of recognizing who is with you. And, and learning their signature, and then building that dialogue.



VL: Yeah, that sounds simple enough *laughs*



JV: I mean, it really is, we overcomplicate things.



VL: I mean, it really is, yeah, definitely overcomplicate things Right exactly and the ego gets in the way and the self doubt, and all those things yeah I think yeah, I think it's a really great place to start in terms of like, deepening our spiritual journey and working through that bad practice of letting go, surrendering to whatever comes up, and really allowing yourself to follow that, that's the signature of that.



So, it leads me to the question, how many of these spirit guides do we have, or is it different per person?



JV: It's been my experience that it is different for everyone. I mean, I've done readings for clients, where I've seen like and a veritable army standing behind them, and more recently I did a reading for a client. And their main guy was the only one that would show Himself to me, and I knew I could sense that there were other guides behind, but he was, he was the gatekeeper and he wasn't letting me see anyone else. So it's really, it's my experience and like I said, everybody has different experiences everybody sees things differently. Everybody has their own opinion on things right, they're like belly buttons, but it's been my experience that there really isn't a set number.



​​ If I had to generalize, I would say at least five, at least.



[29:29] VL: That’s pretty cool. And then it gives us some, some room to kind of explore that and see like invite a new person each time we go into that session, right, and say, for someone else. Is there something else I need to know is there, I always ask, is there something that hasn't been said, oh that's a good one. I like that one, which actually I'm going to ask you is there something that I haven't asked you yet that we should know about your guy.



JV: I don't think so. I mean I think it's really really important when you are opening yourself to spirit like that whether you are trying to hoping to reach out to a passed on loved one, or trying to connect with your guides, it's very very important that you create that high vibrational space, and you only are inviting in beings of the highest vibration, and those who are in it's so important, who are working for the highest good of the collective, because I mean, spirits like people like yes we're all energy and we're all souls, but there's different levels of vibration, right, and if you just open it to everyone, then you invite in those lower vibrational energies, that's when you can start to get draggy and you know you're it's violating like you wouldn't want some truth coming in your house, and it's the same way so you have to set those boundaries, and make sure you're only in those with the highest intention for the collective. So that's what I would say before you. Anyone can contact spirit, anyone can. But it's very important to set those boundaries first.



VL: First, I feel just like spiritual dating.



JV: Oh god, yeah.



VL: This has been such a cool conversation, I feel like I'm going to spend some time meditating tonight and invite only the highest good and set those boundaries first



When I feel like I want to revisit some of my Spirit Guides stuff I feel like it's been a really long time. I did and actually I do have one more question now, Do your staff guides change or do they stay the same your whole life?



JV: I think they change, I think, not all of them change. But I do believe, at different points in your life. They have different roles. I think that we all have main ones that stay the same throughout our journey. But I do think that some of them are just meant to come in for certain chapters of our lives.



VL: So fun! This might be, well this is a selfish question but I'm gonna ask it anyway, you are there any spirit guides of mine that are here right now?



JV: I actually feel that there's, there's one standing, if I'm looking at you on the screen here, behind your, I guess that would be your right shoulder, yes, there. I'm really picking up on like a masculine energy there, he I feel also like the color. It's like an indigo color I feel like he's wearing Indigo.



He's really bringing awareness to my teeth, and my mouth. He's. I feel like he's funny. I feel like he was like some sort of artist. He's got a very, he's got a lot of flair about him.



It's, I don't know if he's your main guide but I feel like he is here because he really was interested in this conversation that we are going to have, he's got a really pointed like aquiline nose He would call it an aquiline strong nose, black hair, kind of, just to his chin, I guess. Yeah, he's, he's interesting. He's really amused by this conversation that we're having.



VL: Maybe I'll, I'll try to channel him in my meditation. Yeah, yeah. That's so fun. Well thank you so much for sharing that. And again, incredible conversation, but we do have a couple more segments of the show so before I go into the final segment, I do want to ask you, where we can find you, where we can follow you, how we can get a reading or support your business in, and all those things because I know that people listening are going to want to know what their spirit guides are saying to.



JV: Oh I love that.

WEBSITE + OFFERINGS www.spiritualcoffee.ca 

INSTAGRAM @spiritualcoffee_ 

FACEBOOK /spiritualcoffee



VL: I always find that I tend to go to a spiritual reading when I’m looking for some sort of confirmation or some sort of direction. Almost like I;m a little too nervous to take that step into the darkness/or the new awareness, and then someone like you will do what you said and shine that light forward a little bit more and say, “oh yeah, this is the next best step, or avoid that because it’s just going to take you longer.”



So I’m sure people listening who are either curious, or looking for confirmation or that kind of thing, would love to connect with you!




[35:55] RAPID FIRE ROUND

1. What are you currently reading? What’s your favourite book?

JV: I'm usually an avid reader. But the last couple of years, I've really had a hard time focusing. But I've really been trying to force myself to get back into it. So I'm actually, I'm actually reading an erotica book, right, because you know. Variety is the spice of life. So I thought on TikTok, it's called desperate measures by Katie Robert.


It combines my love of Disney with my love of erotica. If that makes sense, it's kind of a twisted pairing, so don't judge me for that.

Desperate Measures by Katie Robert 



2. What do you love most about being a woman?

JV: Oh, good question. What do I love most about being a woman… You know, I think women are so underrated. I think women are under appreciated. I think we're under estimated. I feel like being a woman is like, I mean really, we can do anything we're magic we're, we're, we're creators, we are creators, we're the givers of life. And I just think we're, we can be soft, we can be hard and driven and focused, we can be. 



We can be the givers, we can also be the receivers. You know we can be the trailblazers, but we can also be, you know, the in the masses that support those who go ahead and blaze the trail so I guess I just like that. We are so multifaceted so complex. And really, I mean I love that we can be fierce and sexy and soft and spiritual you know what I mean, I just love, I guess I just love the multifaceted ways of being a woman. That was a really good question. 



3. What does empowerment mean to you?

JV: I love empowerment. How do I want to word this… It means being humble enough to know that we don't know everything, but also having the courage to ask for the tools that we need to move forward. I feel that that is very empowering.



Being open to receiving what we don't already have or what we maybe don't recognize that we have. And that enables us, strengthens us, gives us the courage, the faith, the tools to know how to move forward.



4. What are you currently working toward?

Professionally: Writing a book. Don't write a book, and then get open heart surgery and take part in a global pandemic and all that because you'll have to restart it many, many, many times.



Personally: This is gonna sound so cliche. You know, I'm 50. But I really, I just really want to be in love again I really want to.



I'm hoping that Happily Ever After is in my cards so I guess personally that's what I'm working towards if a person can work towards them.



VL: I think they can. Yeah, I think you can do anything. As you said I think women are underestimated and we can do whatever we want and if this is what we're striving toward then, then yeah. Remember to trust, with a capital T!



Now Jodi, this was awesome! I learned so many new things, I think that you are an incredible human. I think that you have an amazing daughter, who I'm also going to link to in this episode too but, yes, this is a great like I love having these conversations. I like to learn all about that stuff. I feel super motivated to meet with my very fun, indigo guide!



We're gonna have a fun little coffee date meditation together. But thank you so much for your gifts. Now I just want to say that I really appreciate your time. I appreciate what you do and how bold you are and brave you are with all of the spiritual gifts that you have and I know I shared this with you privately but it's very inspiring to see how you work. So I just wanted to say that, again, thank you so much.



JV: Thank you so much it really was fun. I could talk about this stuff forever. So fun.

 

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E138 How to Eliminate Bad Habits (What's Worked for Me)
 
 

E138 How to Eliminate Bad Habits

Every single person on this planet has bad habits. Even I have bad habits, and I’m a Healthy Habit Mentor for goodness sake. My intention for this episode is to offer you some solutions and practices that you can use to support you in your journey to becoming the best version of yourself. 

I am only sharing what has worked for me or for my clients, and I’ll even use examples of the methods in action. As you’re listening to the content today I invite you to hear and feel, which of the solutions might be best for you.


Leave a review on Apple Podcasts

If you’re working through a bad habit currently, I would suggest trying out one or two of the methods I’m going to share and then go through them all to find the best fit.


At one point or another all of these styles have worked, and usually for different habits, as you will soon hear. So don’t be discouraged if you try one and it doesn’t fit quite right, you won’t know until you try. 


After listening to this episode, and truly making the effort for each of the practices I can confidently say that one of them is bound to work. Now, there might be a deeper root of concern if one or more of these practices don’t work. In this case, I would love to invite you into my Make a Habit Mentorship Program, as I mentioned at the beginning of this episode. If you feel called to join, or learn more, you can visit www.valerielavignelife.com/mentorship or contact me to see if we’re the best fit www.valerielavignelife.com/contact

[3:33] Education + Intention

Lasting change and transformation typically come from a very deep intention. In other podcast episodes I mentioned the importance of intention and how this can also be called our “why power.” WHY do we want to eliminate this bad habit? WHY do we want to make the change? Knowing the answer to this question will be the foundational motivation you need to make the change, and have it be a lasting change.


A simple practice I’ve used for myself, and in my coaching is to ask why, and then keep asking. Going through this helps uncover layers of meaning and eventually brings you to those deeper roots. Sometimes the answers can be very intense, so be honest, and be gentle with yourself. And other times, usually when we aren’t being honest enough with ourselves, we come up against some blocks/walls/speed bumps/etc. The important part here is to breathe, trust, and keep moving toward that meaning. 


This method also involves doing a little more research, and educating ourselves on 


My example: 2-Month sugar detox

Several years ago I started to learn more and more about the dangers of consuming too much sugar.


I thought I was really healthy, and eating foods that were labeled healthy… however they had many hidden sugary ingredients and to my surprise I was eating more sugar than I ever thought! Form low-fat yogurt to fruit smoothies, store-bought granola bars, and more I was eating tons of sugar. 


So I bought a book by Sara Wilson called I Quit Sugar and the first maybe chapter or two of the book went into more detail of the negative effects of sugar, how it is hidden behind different names, the science of glucose, fructose, lactose, and dextrose and so on and so forth. The book also shared an 8-week plan on how to detox from sugar and recipes to incorporate during the 8-weeks.


I used this research and data as motivation for me to eliminate fructose from my diet for those full 8-weeks. I didn’t eat refined sugar, fruit, and certain vegetables. I will say it was one of the most difficult, and one of the most rewarding things I have ever done for myself.


Since that detox many moons ago, I have continued to remove certain sauces, foods, and snacks from my diet. I now eat fruits, vegetables, and definitely still eat chocolate again, but my sugar consumption has most definitely changed and I’m very happy for that. Education and intention were a huge part of me taking action because let me tell you this was TOUGH!


Not only can we do some education on why this bad habit is so bad, but also what the future of our lives looks like, should we continue this bad habit. 


One of my favourite examples that explains this is from the book The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy.

He uses the example of three friends with three different evening routines. The first friend A comes home from work and decides he’s going to spend 30 minutes working out, 30 minutes reading a personal development book, and 30 minutes learning how to take better videos and pictures because he wants to use his camera when he spends time with his family and kids.


Friend B decides his evening routine stays the same as it always has.


Friend C chooses to come home, relax in front of the TV and drink a beer or two before dinner and bed.


In the book there is a graphic of a chart showing the projection of these three friends over a period of time. I don’t have the book in my hands right now so I’m saying this from memory, but after 6-12 months there isn’t THAT much change in the three friends. In fact, the lines on this line chart are all the same at the middle of the chart. 


But as time goes on, the lines start to change. With more time, the line representing Friend A starts to move in an upward motion. The line for friend B remains the same and steady along the middle of the chart. Friend C’s line also changes, but in a downward motion.


In the book, and I’m paraphrasing, Hardy shares that Friend A has lost weight and gained strength over the last 1-5 years and he is in better shape than he’s ever been with more energy than ever. He also got a promotion at work because he’s been implementing his personal development strategies from the books he’s been reading every night. AND he’s really great at using his camera and editing software and has even made some great home videos for the family. He’s become closer to his kids through this time. 


Friend B’s life hasn’t changed much. He’s feeling pretty stagnant actually, at the same job, always doing the same thing.


Friend C, as you can probably guess has gained some weight, is less energized, and not enthusiastic about his work or his home life. The list of problems went on in the book, and to be honest I remember more how I felt reading the story and it also motivated me to take action in my life.


As you’re thinking about your current routines, and bad habits, where can you see the negative impacts of these habits, and how could they be affecting your health and life for the long term? Motivated yet?

[10:41] Here’s the next method I want to share: Add Rather Than Subtract

When it comes to eliminating a bad habit, it’s actually a lot easier to add in a good habit and replace it with the bad habit, versus just not doing the bad habit any more.


My example: Less screen time, meant more time outside (walking, basketball, hiking)

Personally I have been appalled with the amount of time I spend looking at a screen every day that I’ve started to brainstorm and incorporate different activities instead of sitting at my computer, scrolling on my phone, or watching TV.


This morning for example I left my phone at home and went for a short walk around the block. Yesterday Craig and I went to the school near our house and shot some hoops together instead of watching TV, and I brought my book to bed to read a few pages instead of mindlessly scrolling on my phone.


Think of some different things you could be doing instead of the bad habit. Leaving my phone at home, or in another room was also really helpful because I would have had to get up and go grab my phone if I wanted to look at it. Or because it wasn’t on me I couldn’t check it. It wasn’t even an option.

[12:07] Another great way to replace a bad habit is to simplify the transition into the new habit. With my example of lack of movement I wanted to get back into the workouts I hadn’t been doing for OVER A YEAR! What worked…?

Simplify It… Again


I used to have an epic morning routine before the pandemic. I exercised, drank a litre of water, showered, and journalled before 8am most days. Then the pandemic. Gyms closed, my main source of income GONE, I was scared. The daily practice that kept me mentally well and physically strong was gone, and I started sleeping in and skipping my alternate workouts. The excuses got easier to make, and time went by more and more.


Fourteen months later… well you know how the chart works!


My example: Getting back into my workouts

I knew I wanted to get back into my workouts and I also knew that it wasn’t going to look the exact same as it did before. I wasn’t going to wake up at 5:30am when I was currently waking up at 7am. 


So I kept things really simple.

Day one: write out the workouts for the week, schedule them into my calendar

Day two: prep my clothes, new trainers, and music

Day three: do the workout.

Day four: do the next workout.

Etc.


And it worked! I’m on week 5 of my consistent workouts average 3-4x per week! I’m tracking my workouts and I know I’m getting stronger every week, and that feels really good. 


I literally had to make the steps soooo simple, as simple as lay out your clothes the day before. But that’s what it took.


Your turn, how can you simplify your new, better habit? How can you simplify it again?



[15:05] Tell EVERYONE! Better yet, document the whole thing on social media

I wanted to get my body moving more so I worked my way up from 4000 steps a day to 10000 a day by sharing the process with my social media network through instagram stories.


Organically it created some healthy competition, and there were a lot of people joining in the conversation and with the habit. 


People were sharing photos of their walks, screen-shots of their daily step count and it was so much fun! It also helped me stay accountable.



[16:45] Remove Distractions + Set Up Reminders/Triggers

I have a love-hate relationship with flossing, and honestly I love the way my mouth feels when I floss consistently - LOL yes I heard it too HAHAHA


I don’t bring my phone with me when I brush my teeth and I use brushing my teeth as the trigger to flossing. I brush first and then I floss. It helps me stack my habits. The other OBVIOUS trigger is to keep my floss right beside my toothbrush.



Think about the distractions and the bad habits that you’re doing, think about what you’re also avoiding by doing this habit?


Set yourself up for success by removing the limitations and set up your reminders + triggers so you can stack your habits.


[19:56] Reward Yourself 

At this point, I’d like to bring awareness as to why our bad habits feel so good. It’s because they reward us with comfort. Comfort is a common purpose behind our habits and since our brains are wired for rewards, we start to crave more each time we feel comfort.


In the decision making process, our brains cannot differentiate good from bad. It DOES understand comfortable and uncomfortable. 


That second chocolate chip cookie, that like on instagram, and that time you decided to binge watch Sex/Life, all triggered a release of Dopamine, the feel good hormone. 


It’s not wonder we keep doing the damn thing.


The bad habit is usually easier to do, than to replace with a more helpful or healthy habit since we (unconsciously link it to discomfort.


What are some of the feel good bad habits you want to break?


Then think about what discomfort you COULD DO and if it’s THAT much more worth it to sit on your booty vs work your booty?



With the right boundaries you can also use your bad habit as a reward. For example, if I read 1 page of my book I can scroll on my phone.


The boundaries are: the phone has to be in a separate room and the scroll has to be limited to 15 minutes.


[23:47] Get Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable

This might be the most important one. I learned this a long time ago when it came to my business and personal development growth, but I hadn’t thought about it as a habit building/transforming until recently.


Through the discomfort we grow.


The magic happens OUTSIDE of our comfort zone, so GET OUT of your comfort zone by doing the uncomfortable good habit.


If you are ready to scale your growth, your transformation, to reach the best version of yourself, I invite you to connect with me.


Email me at www.valerielavignelife.com/contact to chat more about whether or not the Make a Habit Mentorship is right for us.


Let’s continue today’s conversation on instagram @vallavignelife

 

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E137: Pivoting Your Business without Losing Your Passion with Melanie Boudens
 
 

E137: Pivoting Your Business without Losing Your Passion with Melanie Boudens

Discovering how to pivot in business, and how to create a work-life balance during times of change and growth.


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[1:28] Valerie LaVigne: Welcome back to The Women's Empowerment Podcast please join me in welcoming Melanie Bowden's friend wife, Mama to me in October, vegan chef, and former restaurant owner of six years now the owner of a recipe and lifestyle blog and a brand new vegan food business, lover of all animals on nature of connections, and community with small business owners, welcome to the show.



Melanie Boudens: Yes, I'm grateful to be here.



VL: It's so amazing that we could connect over the show because I remember meeting you, I want to say it was 2019 So, a couple years ago. It was at a retreat, you were cooking for the retreat. And I've been to a lot of retreats, of them being vegan.



I guess the menu is all vegan, and I have to say I was very impressed with the uniqueness of your creations. So I want to know where do you get your recipe inspiration or how do you come up with your recipes?



MB:  Um, yeah. So, to be totally honest, I say this a lot of my cooking classes before I went vegan which is somewhere around 11 years ago now. I really could barely cook just about anything like I think there's like three dishes, maybe I could do, and maybe like chocolate chip cookies or something in terms of sweet things, and so when I went vegan, it was just like, full stop. How do I eat now. So I was really forced to learn how to cook, and learn how to cook vegan. I've cooked, many horrible things so you know like, it's just goes to say with anyone, practice makes perfect. But when I went vegan obviously it's a long time ago it's like vegan before it was cool, and I'm from a really small town where I didn't know anyone else that was vegan or any really even vegetarian, so I was hit with a lot of like, you know, vegan food is disgusting. What will you eat, you're going to starve, I distinctly remember my dad being genuinely concerned that I was going to die.



And so I kind of felt this like big urge that I just really needed to prove to people that vegan food could taste just as good as non vegan food so I really started with just converting the classic dishes that I knew I loved or that my mom would cook. Growing up, just trying to make them vegan so I just essentially veganize all my favorite dishes, just like making small swaps and changes like replacing butter vegan butter milk with almond milk. Chicken with tofu stuff like that so I just, I try and keep it simple and basic, but making sure that the flavor is still there, and just creating dishes that anyone can love whether you're vegan or not.



VL: That’s so fun! Do you have a favourite dish?



MB: I love like a good mac and cheese which is, I mean who doesn't. So I love to make a good vegan mac and cheese, and I'm like a big sandwich and meanie. And so I like to make different sandwiches and stuff like that as well, amazing I love vegan mac and cheese, that's like, I'm so I'm not a vegan but when I do go out, I sometimes get some vegan food and then I'm looking for, like, the best vegan mac and cheese.



VL: I love that, that's so cool. So I did want to ask you about because when I met you you owned a restaurant. Was that correct?



MB: Yeah



VL: And then, that was two years ago so tell me what happened. You do not own a restaurant anymore. What, like, walk us through that that transition or that pivot?



MB: Yeah, so I started actually the restaurant before I had the physical brick and mortar restaurant. I started doing caterings just out of my house and then I did wholesale to a couple of local shops and grocery stores.



But the ultimate goal is to always have a physical sit down, restaurant, so I did open that I started in 2014 and then we opened the restaurant in 2016.



And then last year, just like other business owners and Pandemic hits. We did do a little bit of a pivot, we started doing prepare prepared meals for people and then we would deliver them across like certain parts of of Ottawa where the restaurant was and that was going well but I had a really hard time with transitioning, not that it's easy for anyone but I had a really from the restaurant to doing the meals.



It was kind of just like I didn't sign up for this, and I missed by customers and seeing their faces, and seeing them come into the restaurant, stuff like that so that was a bit of a challenge and then of course just like everyone else, there's a financial strain coming on and I just wasn't confident that things were going to be over or better or easier anytime soon.



I wasn't willing to like dive deeper into that struggle financially, emotionally, physically, that kind of thing without knowing when the Vita at the end of the tunnel would be. So I decided instead of continuing on and whatever pivot to was going to be with a restaurant that maybe it was better to just close things now before I got too deep into something. I wasn't comfortable with, especially owning a business, especially a restaurant is, is a challenge as it is in normal worlds.



Yeah, that was the end of it.



[7:57] VL: Wow, I mean, so I'm also a business owner and I, there's something that I don't think people realize if you're not running a business and you are kind of forced to do this pivot, you know there's a lot of opportunity in this type of situation. However, for you, you mentioned the end goal was a sit down restaurant and now it's kind of like, okay, but this is now, this, this, the goal has to change, right, but the big idea the big dream that you had which you were building, and was successful at was changing so yeah I can see that would tell that would take a toll. Right, and probably cause a lot of stress. Would you say that, in that time like would you say the pivot has really inspired you to change with this new direction that you're in, or are you still longing for one day a sit down restaurant again?



MB: Well it's funny when I first closed the restaurant and I still do have people ask me like, are you going to open again are you going to open something new again. And the first little while after I closed my answer was like, hell no, absolutely not.



But now I totally see myself opening something, you know, not anytime soon, further down the road.



Maybe in a few years, maybe that'll change too and maybe I won't want to in a few years, but with what we're doing now. I can see, I missed the restaurant terribly and I'm definitely not emotionally over it or anything like that but I see the success and like the difference between what we're doing now with our business versus the restaurant and I still get that same satisfying feeling like as a business owner with the new business that I had with the restaurant. It's just an adjustment getting used to, you know, being an online business first. You know in person where restaurants was such a community space.



So adjusting to it. Yeah I love the business now but I still adjust. It's very different and very weird but I think that what we're doing now, can accomplish the same goals as what I had with having a restaurant, so.



VL: Yeah, amazing and it kind of makes me think of like, it's not necessarily the goal that we're striving for and I think a lot of us have to have this reminder that it's the core values that create this goal or that are the foundation of the goal. So tell us more about what you're doing now what the business looks like, what, how are you serving people online?



MB: So, I had approached a very good friend of mine who actually owns an animal sanctuary and is also vegan so we share a lot of the same goals and values in life, with an idea and asked her if she wanted to jump on board. I would love to have her. So, we started a, again a vegan business has to do with food.



But now, it's just in a different way, we create dry sweet and savory mixes that people can make at home, and it was essentially 100% is inspired by the previous restaurant because we took most of our best selling items that were on the restaurant menu and I converted them into dry mixes so people could still make the same items at home. It's kind of like Betty Crocker but it's vegan and obviously better and we have a sweet and savory so you just add two to three of your own ingredients from your own kitchen or pantry.



To make the product and then you bake and cook it so it just, it's kind of fickle, it's just, again, still making vegan food tastes delicious but also making it more approachable and easier for people who also aren't vegan or vegetarian as well so we're trying to, again, hit both aspects of the spectrum. And then I do also do my own little personal thing on the side which is my recipe blog and everything, and I really enjoyed because I share a lot of the recipes from the restaurant that people are looking for on the blog and I do Xoom cooking classes with people as well so that's really fun for me because like so good to connect them so it's very different but still very good and like he said, like, the most important thing at the end of the day is to have those values within your business, stealth, and we do I think so. Good.



[12:38] VL: You know what, it's such a it's such a great story because I feel like the pivot, came from one, a demand to an innovative idea, and three those values that you're speaking to, and, you know, the Zoom life isn't always amazing but if it's what we have right now I think it's, it can do wonders and like you said, if there was an opportunity for you to open another restaurant again in the future. I mean, you can do that too, right like you know you've done it before so what's to stop you from doing it again.



MD: Hopefully Yeah



VL: Yeah, exactly, exactly, because if there's anything that the business owners and entrepreneurs and people for that matter anyone has learned from this past year, it's that there is an opportunity to come back better and stronger, with all the knowledge that we've learned from this last year so to that I'd love to ask you if you have any advice for business owners, entrepreneurs, people going through changes and pivots and all these things, what was your advice for them?



MB: Um, I think the biggest thing I would say is just really be mindful not to lose yourself in the business, because I think you become so much about your business and the success of your business and building it and the people that you employ and the people that you serve.



For serve and help is just like you put yourself on the back burner, and even sometimes family and friends get put on the back burner to share with a lot of business owners like you know this.



And for me, I didn't realize how much of that I was losing and how much of that I was doing until I was out of it again. So, I really like to just step back and think like, am I who I want to be, am I acting the way I want to, I want to portray myself.



And I remember like obviously your business is like your baby to anyone. It's so important to you it's who it's almost you know like entirely who you are but at the end of the day what matters most is like your own self and the people that are in your lives. So just really step back and take a look at who you are and who you want to be and, and try to see that from the outside perspective. Instead of just, you know, being that, as a business owner, you're always in that reactive mode. So, you know, trying to switch to being proactive and realize, okay, am I on the right path, personally, as well as, as an entrepreneur. So I think that was a really big change for me when I got out of it I realized that, okay, this business was great and successful but I am not personally successful like emotionally and physically so yeah I just really think about, if this is what you want personally as well.



VL: Because most of us, we are the business, our service is part of the business, where you're the face of the business. So, you know, you identify with your business. This is a part of you and definitely losing that or having to change it in some way in a drastic way can be quite a struggle, and, you know, from, from my perspective like looking from the outside at your business I feel like this was a massive opportunity for you to recognize that, okay, this is what I really want and this is how I can do it differently, while taking care of myself and I think this is a huge positive for you and a lot of people just learn this too late. Like, until. So, for example, like, I'm. I teach Pilates and so if I hurt myself, knock on wood if I hurt myself. I can't teach.



So, because human capital is one of our greatest resources, and yet we put it probably last on the list of the things that we need to take care of so I actually shared, I'm not sure if you heard this episode but it was my accountability meeting that I do every month, and I've changed this a little bit this year so I did a new episode about it. Essentially what this accountability meeting was  tracking all these parts of my business and so this year I changed it to also track parts of my, my health and myself, and one of the things I asked myself was yeah, one of the things I asked myself was how many days did I take off this month, and in January, I took off for February. It was January, January, I took off one full day of work, one full day and an entire month.




Episode 132: Behind the Scenes: My Monthly Accountability Meeting

www.valerielavignelife.com/132 



And in January. The studio was closed for one of the lockdowns that we had, so I have other businesses that I do too, but like I'm constantly on, I'm constantly working so that was a huge awakening for me and I thought again, my goal next month is just to have more days off than last month, and so now I'm very conscious about boundaries around my time boundaries around what I check my emails. When I do interviews I don't do more than two interviews in a day. I think now I just do one a day. But yeah, it's been a really, a really great way to kind of like shift and change perspective and I like what you said about moving from reactive to proactive so do you have any practices similar to that where you like to check in, or how you kind of gauge where your health and your wellness is that?



MB: Yeah, well I love, I love the, taking, taking a look back at like, Okay, how many days off, did I do or how many days did I do or not do something that's amazing because when you're in it. You really don't think about that you're just like go go go go go what's next and what what's, what's going on now and, and stuff like that.



The biggest thing that I've done, is with the cell phone is now having my phone I, it's, it's off it, because I think, especially like as an online business people are assume that like, you know they're sending an email, they're like a night owl it's 11pm they're thinking like, you haven't responded to, like, No, I'm sleeping now so we're not open 24 hours a day, even though it's an online business, in terms of customer service but I my phone for business purposes is after 8pm I'm not there anymore. That's a really big thing for me as well and then in the morning because I'm an early riser, then I hit emails and do some productive things early in the morning after I know I've had a good sleep and I've shut things off.



And then I think the other thing is just paying attention to my relationships two just checking in like making that effort to check in with people as often as I can and making sure that I'm spending time with my husband as well. But definitely the phone thing has been really big for me because, especially after you know your business owner, like, being a restaurant owner I was at the restaurant sometimes from like 5am or 6am till seven or eight at night, maybe longer depending on what's going on. So then you get home and it's not just home time it's phone time. So, making sure I put that down, It's been a really, really big thing for me, and just checking in, like, mentally to make sure, like, are you still on this, this right path that you want to be on and do so like who you are right now that's that's another big thing too.



[20:46] VL: Yeah, that's a, that's a really hard question to ask ourselves sometimes do we like who we are because we don't want to admit that they're like darker sides to us or that you know we're not that positive and nice i, this morning I reacted poorly to my with my partner and this morning, and he laughed and it wasn't like the greatest, you know, it wasn't, it wasn't a bad goodbye, it was just like, oh, I shouldn't have reacted that way it was probably just a little grumpy about it.



But I think him and I have really good boundaries with being able to say hey listen, I'm sorry, like I made a mistake. I shouldn't have said this way I shouldn't have acted that way. So I think we do well with that.



But it's easy to get caught up in it, it's easy to, to not be aware of all the things and it's a lot easier to do that than it is to ask ourselves Do I like the person that I am right now because it means you have to look at all, all parts of us, for sure. 



MB: Yeah, especially when stress from being a business owner is clouding those thoughts like if you're just so focused on, like, what's going on if you're so stressed out about what's going on. You really don't think outside of like, What's stressing you out so you've become unaware of the way that you might be like you know like your set like just talking to people, you know, you don't realize that so really just like checking in with yourself, like, you know, maybe at the end of the day was a nice person today because stress can make us all, you know, not so nice sometimes so, I think.



I think that's the good thing it's just like, like I said you know check in with who I who you are and, and making sure that you are who you want to be and who you want to treat or how you want to treat other people getting realigned with, with that, for sure.



VL: Well I love this, this is So, this is such a like refreshing reminder I find because it's so easy to get caught up in that negativity and it's so easy to get caught up in just the day to day busy ness and I think this is a huge reminder for a lot of entrepreneurs, a lot of business owners a lot of people who are feeling maybe overwhelmed right now, right, because there's a lot going on. And there are a lot of changes happening.



So, basically I guess my next question for you is, in terms of planning your business. What advice would you maybe give someone who is in their business right now wants to plan for the future, but also wants to be aware of possible transitions or pivots or changes that might come up?



[23:35] MB: Ah yeah I think just like really taking a look at what you want in your life personally, and figure out how does that tie up with what you're trying to achieve with your business. For example, you know, I've wanted kids for many years, but we've always just never, you know, kind of going down that road because I'm thinking, How in the world can I have a baby right now we're all running a restaurant like there's just no way.



And then, you know, we just started this new business. Early this year and we actually weren't planning a pregnancy was a total surprise for us so I actually thought I was pregnant, the month before we launched our new business, and then it was just kind of like an eye opener Oh, like, well, whether we're ready for or not or I think I can do it or not this is happening, so I need to learn how to run a business and grow baby and have a baby all at the same time so, you know, you might have this crazy elaborate one or two or three year plan for your business. But how is it going to relate back to your personal life and how is it going to affect your personal life.



And is it going to get in the way of personal goals that you have, because, you know, they're equally important, if not more important in your personal life as much as your business life so I think when you're going over your yearly or quarterly or monthly goals.



Just making sure you, you know, have a column for for me and a column for the business and how are those things going to collide together and mesh together if they're going to work or not, and maybe taking some things off the list for the business or for personal or changing the timing of things to what can wait and what can't so that would be good to plan out the future if you want to be really mindful of your personal life as well. I like that I, I think I already do this but I just don't I didn't think of it this way but yeah planning your business goals, and then also your personal goals and kind of weaving them together, because I've also been in a position where I'm so focused on my business and my business goals that you know, six months goes by and I'm like, What have I done for myself



VL:  This is the worst. Someone asked me what do you do for fun? I'm like what my business is like this is, this is my life like I don't have a hobby I have. I have a business. I don't have a baby, I have a business. Congratulations, by the way, I know that I said this to you outside of the show but I'm so excited for you for your pregnancy that's a very, very lovely surprise.



MB: Yes, yes, very good, but we're definitely excited despite the surprise.



VL: Now, what you were saying made me think of the kind of work life balance. What is your perspective or what is your opinion on the work life balance. Do you think it exists, or does it not exist, how do we do this?



MB: Had you asked me a year ago when I was still running the restaurant I would have laughed, you know, so there's no such thing as that.



But now running this new business, don't get me wrong, like it's still really hard and takes up a lot of time and you know I'm juggling a few different things at the same time also trying to take care of myself and the baby.



So I think if you are currently, like I was, when someone asks you, there is work life balance exist and you do the same thing, I would have done a year ago or two or three years ago, and just kind of laugh and say there's no such thing. That's when you really need to look about, what are you doing with your personal life and your and your, your business life. And how can you create some form of balance, like you said, you know, you said you don't have any hobbies, because what you do for fun is your business, which is amazing because obviously you want to enjoy your business and have fun with it. But you should also have something that's fun outside of your business entirely so I think and you know what a lot of us probably don't even know what that is, because it's been so long that we actually took the time to do that. So maybe it's, you know, thinking. Before I was a business owner, what did I love to do, and am I still doing that now, because I think in terms of balance, it doesn't necessarily mean as a business owner, we might never work, just 40 hours a week, but are we okay with working 50 or 60 Probably yes maybe no. But, what are you going to be doing those other hours of the week that are bringing you like peace of stress release enjoy like with your family and your friends and stuff so I do think that work life balance exists, I think, maybe just not all of us have found it yet so kind of like back to that list of personal vers business is just writing things down on that list and making sure that you're achieving both goals on either side of the list.



VL: Yeah, I think those are amazing questions to ask ourselves I think that's a great place to, to start and really dive a little deeper and now that I'm thinking about it, I'm like, Okay, wait, I actually do have hobbies.



I like reading and I like hiking and I like traveling. I was just like oh wow so quite the workaholic, which I'm trying so what I've noticed is that they're such a badge of honor to be busy, and I really caught it, when people would email me and say, Hey, I know you're super busy. But, hey, I know you're super busy but hey, you're probably really busy right now but I wanted to ask you this, I'm like, I don't want to be. I don't want to be that busy person, and it took, other people kind of showing me that or telling you that or asking, sending me these emails for me to realize and see that part of myself so it'd be to add to our personal development and self inquiry, less questions, we could ask ourselves like how are people around us like those relationships who were saying how are people treating us or speaking to us or emailing us, that sort of thing because that was definitely an eye opener for me for sure. 



MB: Yeah, and even asking friends and family you know like, how am I treating you, it might be a really hard question to ask and you might be afraid of what the answer will be. But, I mean I didn't have the opportunity to ask those questions, because like I said I came out of it and then saw from a different perspective, who I was, how it was possibly treating people so I kind of found that out on my own. Luckily, but if you're if you're in there and you are kind of always busy busy busy maybe, you know, just saying to your partner or your friend like am I giving you what you need as someone special to me in my life because we all want to be there for people so maybe you're just asking those hard questions to make sure from, from their perspective that, you know, they're getting what they want or need out of your relationship to because it goes both ways.



VL: you know what though, asking the hard questions, leads to so much growth, and I want to add this in as a reminder for people who are asking their friends and their family, how this is going, just be really prepared for whatever answer that they're going to give you and really accepting it in like a kind way, Because most of the time those people are saying, Hey, this is how I feel and this is, I'm saying this because I really care about you and it's easy to react, maybe not so well. But yeah, I think that's important to ask those questions and to be prepared for any kind of answer we're gonna get.



But yeah, I think that's important too to ask those questions and to be prepared for any kind of answer we're gonna get you. Oh my goodness. Well, okay, so this wasn't really the direction that I thought our conversation was going to be in but I'm so glad it went this way because these were incredible questions and reminders, and I think he gave some really sound advice for people who are in, you know, turning points in their business or just growing their business. So, really thank you for, for surprising me with this.



I guess this new topic that I haven't really explored that much so thank you.



Let us know where we can find you where we can follow you, how can we be a part of and support your business?




MB: Yeah, so if you love to learn more about cooking and recipes. And like I said I don't care if you're vegan or vegetarian, and none of that matters just, what matters is that you just want to learn how to cook and cook good food.



WEBSITE + BLOG https://www.melanieboudens.com

IG | @mel.b.21

WEBSITE | https://growyourroots.ca

IG | @growyourrootsfoods




[33:28] RAPID FIRE

1. What are you currently reading? What’s your favourite book?



MB: Currently reading a book about babies, it’s a birthing book



2. What do you love most about being a woman?



Um, again, going back to pregnancy I think it's been, I've always been really terrified of pregnancy to be totally honest, absolutely horrified. I would say to anyone you know, maybe thinking about it, is just, it becomes more of a beautiful journey than just about having a baby.



So I would say, like, it's been amazing, being a woman and remembering that like we can do the best that we can to create human tiny humans so yeah I've really enjoyed that process of it so far anyway.



3. What does empowerment mean to you?



Um, I think empowerment really means to me. I keep thinking about community and like empowering not just yourselves but other people, especially being in that entrepreneur community.



4. What are you currently working toward?



I would say, I'm currently working towards being a successful business owner. At the same time as being a good wife, friend, and future mum.



I wanted to say thank you so much for being a part of the show, it has been a really cool experience to one speak with you today but also to be kind of following you through this pivot over the last couple years, like I said I met you when you're a restaurant owner and now how you've changed and created this wonderful online experience. I can't wait to see what else you come up with. I can't wait to try your premixed recipes. I'm very excited about that. So thank you so much for being part of this and for being an inspiration, and an incredible business owner, and soon to be Mom, I'm so excited to see that part of your journey too!

 

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E136: The Power of Interruptions
 
 

E136: The Power of Interruptions

Google defines the word “interrupt” as:

  1. Stop the continuous progress of (an activity or process)

  2. Stop (someone speaking) by saying or doing something

  3. Break the continuity of (a line or surface)

Today we’re going to use each of these definitions, in a new context. Today we’re going to talk about the power of interruptions in the continuous progress of negative self-talk and anxiety

The power of interruptions by taking alternate action through journaling and reprogramming

And lastly, the power of breaking the continuity of automation in our habits, behaviours, and daily actions.


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[1:20] Welcome back to the Women’s Empowerment Podcast, I am your host Valerie LaVigne. If you’ve listened to any other episode before you will have noticed that I broke a pattern of how I begin each and every show. 

Funnily enough I wasn’t planning on it, but it just ended up that way and it ironically was so perfect because of course today’s episode is all about interruptions and the power they have!


[2:00] [PART ONE]

I’m breaking this episode into three sections so that I can share three unique perspectives on this topic, and the first is: The power of interruptions: Interrupting Negative Self-Talk + Anxiety.

If you’ve ever felt anxious or gotten caught up in the drowning thoughts of negativity, you will understand the rabbit hole of the negative noisy mind and debilitating feelings to follow. Not only is a habit of negative self-talk non-serving, but it can also lead to anxious thoughts, feelings, and fear.

One of the most popular episodes of the Women’s Empowerment Podcast is Episode 81: 5 Tips for Positive Self-Talk. Seeing as this is one of the most popular episodes, I think it’s safe to say that this is a struggle for many of us. The good news is, negative self talk and anxiety is something we can heal, work through, and overcome. 

It all starts with the habit of observing our thoughts. This is the consistent practice of noticing our thoughts, mindset, and self-talk. This is constant throughout the day so we will need to check in often. If it helps, you can set alarms/reminders or triggers. For example, if you’re answering emails, notice what your thoughts are throughout the email process, with each new email remember to check in. Or perhaps starting with every morning, notice how you start your day when it comes to your mindset. You can also change up your triggers, for when you’re driving, waiting in line at the grocery store, scrolling instagram, etc.

Getting in the habit of observing your thoughts will be the first step to interrupting anxiety or negative self talk. As soon as you can notice your mindset, you will be able to limit or stop the negative pattern sooner and avoid spiralling all together!

This first step cannot be skipped because it’s the key to breaking the pattern of negativity and interrupting anxiety BEFORE the fearful feelings overtake us. And trying to stop this mid-panic-attack is a lot more difficult than before we shift into panicking.

I want to point out that in no way are we ignoring, suppressing, or labeling the anxious feelings as invalid; the purpose of this step is to eliminate the toxic pattern of the mental spiral or breakdown.

[4:44] We can do this through observation followed by gratitude. One of the best ways to interrupt anxiety is with gratitude. More often than not anxiety comes up when we’re thinking; or over thinking about the future. Fears of what could happen, but isn’t necessarily accurate or true. When we observe an anxious thought, negative self-talk, or poor mindset, the very next step is to think of something we are grateful for. 

The practice of gratitude requires us to think of something that has already happened to us, so we know it to be true, AND has made us feel happy, joyful, or grateful. It’s interrupting the negativity with something positive. Notice how I didn’t say, “replacing” I said INTERRUPTING. Gratitude grounds us, elevates our energy, and brings us back to the lighter and elevated emotions. When we are present we can act with discernment and reframe our current situation.

Let’s look at an example: I’m feeling nervous and anxious about an upcoming interview and questioning my abilities as a podcast host. I could very easily spiral into negative self-talk and lack-mindset of “not good enough”. However I am practicing observing my thoughts, so I notice the negativity. With this awareness I CHOOSE to interrupt with gratitude and I take a moment to channel my attention to what I am grateful for. I am grateful for my new coffee mug that was handmade by a local artisan. I am grateful to support a local woman artist, drink out of a very unique piece of art and I really love this coffee that I’m drinking because I’ve been adding cinnamon to it and it’s so pleasant. I take a breath. I remind myself that I am worthy and enough. I am capable, in fact I have evidence supporting how great of a podcast host I really am. At this point in the example I can go on and list truths about what qualifies me, but for the sake of time I won’t, and because you get the point.

[7:26] When you’re interrupting anxious thoughts and feelings with gratitude, here are my 3 tIps for an impactful Gratitude Practice:

  1. Keep it really simple: I am literally drinking out of the coffee mug I described in the example right now. This is a real-life example of what was in front of me or around me that I could connect to gratitude with quickly. A coffee mug. Simple

  2. Consider WHY you are grateful for the item on your list: Don’t stop at listing items within sight. Why are you grateful for that item/person/thing? What makes it meaningful to you? This might also bring evidence to prove your negative mindset wrong.

  3. List different things every day: My life changed when I started writing a daily gratitude practice after only two consistent weeks of it. It has helped me create a WAY healthier and more positive mindset over all and I recommend this super simple practice to anyone looking to make a real shift in their mindset and life.

[8:53] [PART TWO]

Gratitude in the moment can be quickly transformative, and a daily gratitude practice truly allows us to make LASTING CHANGE. This is because as we elevate our energy and our mindset, what we’re actually doing is creating new neural networks and reprogramming our brains.

This leads us to part two: The power of interruptions by taking alternate action through journaling and reprogramming.

If you’ve ever watched or read “The Secret” or done any mindset work with coaches, or through any type of personal development, you would have learned about vision boards, journaling practices, and maybe even audio recordings of what you want your life to look like, sound like, feel like, etc. Hey, I’ve talked about this on the podcast before!

In the bigger scheme of things, and as we start to (as I mentioned) elevate our energy, the next step after gratitude and observation, and choosing our new thought and belief, is to take action. Before I get too far ahead I want to point out the difference between REACTING and TAKING ACTION.

A reaction is an emotional, often immediate and not well-thought out response to a situation. This could be a verbal reaction, sometimes called “word vomit” or a physical action such as an outburst. Because reactions tend to be immediate and without any forethought, we often regret this type of behaviour/action.

In this episode I’m talking more about taking INSPIRED ACTION. Meaning, we are acting from a place of gratitude, service, and working in the highest good. We are moved into action not because we feel hurt or threatened but rather because we are feeling called to show up and shine!

[11:11] Okay, so back to these interruptions. If we want a different result, we’re going to have to take a different action. To initiate a more thoughtful and intentional action, we need to become clear on our desired reality, and we can do this through journaling!

Feel free to take out a pen and paper, or your journal and start writing out a very detailed description of who the best version of you is.

What does she look like?

What does she sound like?

What does she smell like?

How does she feel?

How does she wake up in the morning?

What is her morning routine?

What are her thoughts throughout the day?

What is her work-life balance?

What are her relationships like?

What is she grateful for?

What is she excited about and looking forward to?

Who does she admire?

What is she proud of?

What makes her feel good?

What foods does she eat?

What limiting beliefs or obstacles has she overcome?

How does she spend her weekends or free time?

What makes her special?

How does she spend her evenings? 

What is her evening routine like?


I included the questions in this episode so that you could use them as a guide/prompts as you create a detailed and full description of this version of you. Feel free to add more detail and answer your own questions as you see fit. I find these a great starting point for us to dive even deeper. 


Writing out these answers with pen and paper is also important in this practice because it allows us to use both the right and left hemispheres of our brain at the same time, activating more neural networks.

It’s also key to write as if this has already happened/in the past tense because as you write and then read the description, your brain cannot distinguish between reality and what you’ve written down so it will start to believe that this is already happening.

[13:58] Here is the best part. The version of you, the one you just described in immense detail, is the person you are already becoming! How?

  1. Your brain is already visualizing this version of you and believing that it’s possible

  2. You have created clarity on exactly who this person is

  3. NEXT you can start to implement some of these actions, thoughts, habits into your life RIGHT NOW!

Does the best version of you drink organic green tea in the mornings? Does the best version of you have boundaries around work emails on the weekends? Does the best version of you schedule time to be creative?

These three examples can most definitely be put into practice RIGHT NOW! Start BEING the best version of you by interrupting the current version of you by taking action. 

Wake up in the morning and ask yourself, “What is something I can do today that future Valerie will thank me for?” or “What would the highest version of Valerie choose to think about today? What intention is she setting?” You get the point!

[15:21] [PART THREE]

With these interruptions on mindset, elevating our energy to the high vibration of gratitude, and getting clarity on how we are reprogramming ourselves, we have now reached our third powerful interruption: The power of breaking the continuity of automation in our habits, behaviours, and daily actions.

It doesn’t matter if you track your habits or not. Humans thrive on routines and patterns. Maybe I shouldn’t say thrive, maybe I should say rely. Each and every human on planet Earth has daily behaviours that are either helping them, hurting them, or keeping them neutral. 

When I work with my one-on-one mentorship clients I often say, “tell me your habits and I will tell you your future.” This is because, over time our habits are going to lead us somewhere and depending on that habit we will either feel better or worse in our bodies. Obviously this is due to good and bad habits!

Most of our habits are automated. Meaning we don’t have to think about them and we can go through each day, week, month, year behaving, thinking, and acting the exact same without considering anything different. 

We wake up at the same time, to the same three alarm clocks, stumble into the shower and brush our teeth with the same hand. We automatically hit the same setting on the coffee machine, drive to and from work the same way, and after dinner we put away the dishes the same and sit on the same spot on the couch as we always do.

An automated life leaves no room for change, growth, or opportunities. Living on autopilot means your future is already decided for you. But if you don’t like the sounds of that, it doesn’t have to be that way. In fact, one of the most powerful ways to break the automation is to… you guessed it: interrupt it!

Here are some of the ways we can do it:

Level easy:

  • Change the hand you use to brush your hair and or teeth with

  • Take a new route to work

  • Stir an intention into your morning beverage

  • Sit on a different part of the couch when you watch TV

Level moderate:

  • Swap out your morning email and insta scroll for reading a few pages of a personal development book

  • Instead of watching TV after dinner, spend time connecting with your partner over a nature walk

  • Listen to an inspiring podcast on your way to work instead of the celeb gossip

  • Rearrange your morning or evening routine

  • Visit a restaurant you’ve never been to before, or order something you’ve never had

Level difficult, but certainly not impossible:

  • Wake up 30 minutes earlier to exercise in the mornings

  • Schedule email and social media time for specific times during the day and use the other time for screen-free tasks like journaling, nature, project creation, hobby or activity

  • Fill your weekends and parts of your weekdays with joyful activities, and blank space for spontaneous adventures or activities 

Here’s a little bonus for this episode… if you haven’t already noticed, each of these interruptions can become HABITS!

Get in the habit of interrupting negative thoughts

Get in the habit of taking alternate action toward your ideal self

Get in the habit of breaking the continuity of automated behaviours


You are worthy of a limitless, fulfilling, and wonderful life! Welcome interruptions into your life and choose to see them as opportunities for growth. Change the course of your life, and manifest your dreams by making them real today. Prove to your mind, and your physical brain that this future is possible and is happening right now.

 

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

Categories

Download the FREE Dream Lifestyle Roadmap

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E135: Beginner's Guide to Auras with Kennedy Vienneau
 
 

E135 Beginner's Guide to Auras with Kennedy Vienneau

Learn all about the colourful energetic field around your body, and how to tap into your spiritual and psychic gifts!


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[2:12] Valerie LaVigne: Welcome back to another episode of the Women's Empowerment Podcast. I am so pleased to be here today with a new guest, join me in welcoming, Kennedy Vienneu the show. Kennedy is a gifted 22 year old from Alberta, Canada, she loves all things Disney as well as most things from the Spiritual World, Kennedy is an aura reader and healer, as well as an up and coming spiritual mentor, welcome Kennedy. Thank you so much for being on the show today. It's very wonderful to have you here.




Kennedy Vienneau: Thank you for having me. I'm so excited. This is my first podcast so it's like a good icebreaker podcast. I'm excited.



VL: You're going to be amazing. We chatted a little bit before the show, and I think this is going to be a really fun conversation we have tons of questions, some from me and some from the listeners, so I was explaining this a little bit earlier to to you and to the other people who wanted to ask you questions was like you're really interesting and kind of unique guest to the show, because I've never had anyone who reads auras, and most people actually didn't know what that meant. So let's start with Kristin's question and she wants to know what is an aura?



KV: Okay, good question. An aura. I like to describe it as like when I look at people, everyone has a little tiny atmosphere around them, and then there are colors and movements within the atmosphere and that's your aura changes on your mood and what's going on in your life and all that kind of stuff. It's really cool.



VL: That does sound really cool. Now I've had some experiences with you and you're reading my aura. However, I don't see this tiny atmosphere of color and moving, moving color I guess or energy we can call it. So, can everyone see auras, so it's just like, certain people can see auras?



KV: I believe that everyone actually can see auras if they dig deep enough, but some people, it comes by some people easier than others. And so, yeah, everyone can totally tap into that, that if they need to.



VL: Hmm, maybe we can explore this a little bit more. However, let's get back to you a little bit more. When and how did you know that you could see or us?



KV: I, when I was like an early teenager 12 or 13, I was talking to my mom and then describing to her how I see these colors around people and my mom is also very spiritual. And she was saying, you know, I think that's, or as I think we're seeing auras and it was, I was like, Oh man, like maybe I am. And ever since then it's just really cool to just look at everyone's aura and all that stuff but I never really truly tapped into it until the past year or so.



VL: Oh, very interesting. So before you had that conversation in your early teens, were you seeing auras before that and just like you just saw colors around people?



KV: Yeah, I've always seen colors, it's been crazy, I just, I thought that's what everyone saw I didn't know.



VL: You know what, it's so weird. You're saying these things and I feel like there was a time when I was a kid, when I would see colors around people, but that was never really nurtured to me like I, my parents used to say like, Oh, you were 13 going on 30 Or like three going on 13 Like, I always asked questions and I remember people saying, Who asked you to ask that question or who told you that it was like no one I just wasn't my question. And people always thought it was really strange for a young child to be saying certain things and I can't really remember what those things were but I don't know it just brought me back to like this weird memory of seeing colors around people. So, okay, I'm open to the idea that we can tap into these kinds of spiritual, spiritual gifts.



Can you let us know a little bit more about how you've been fine tuning this gift in the last year and maybe how we can fine tune our own gifts?



KV: sure I think there are a lot of tools that can help you tap More into the spiritual world, such as crystals, you know, they're really easy to come by and most people have access to them. You just incorporate them into your day by putting it in your pocket or, you know, just taking a moment to breathe with one and when you find that you're still and plus with the addition of the tool spirit will often approach you and want to talk to you and tell you all these cool things and kind of confirm things that you've been feeling if you have been feeling like you. Maybe you can see, and are still open to it.



VL: Now I know in your practice, because when I worked with you before you talk about your pendulum is this one of those kind of spiritual tools that we can use the pendulum and crystals? Do you use a specific crystal?



[7:40] KV: Yeah, You can, but for beginners something as simple as like a rose quartz or whatever you find you know Rose Quartz are typically the cheapest, and that is something that can help just like ground you and act as like a door almost to the spiritual world and they'll be more attracted to these things and yes I do use the pendulum, and fine tuning that it's very helpful in clearing the energy so that I know like sometimes I get in my head like Wait am I just thinking this, and am I just telling myself or my client what I want to hear, or is spirit actually trying to bring that through and so the pension is really helpful in clearing the space so you can hear it more direct, I guess.



VL: Okay, so could you walk us through maybe like a little ritual that you do to tap in with these tools like can you kind of take us through step by step, is that possible?



KV: Yeah, definitely. So for example at the beginning of my reading, I will sit down and take a few deep breaths and then I have like a ton of crystals so I just like to pick whichever one I want that day. And, or if my client is getting a reading says, you know someone is ill and needs help and I will pick a personal that way. And so, grab the crystal and just take a deep breath and say, you know, kind of like affirmations, but with spirit and say you know I'm open to receiving messages I'm open to learning more information about these people, that sort of thing, and then you just, it kind of just comes to you if you're quiet enough and some people who are still skeptical in the back of their mind, they still, it's really hard to get rid of that skepticism I know but you just have to try to push it away as much as you can and with your tool or just yourself if you just have that and then.



VL: And it sounds like this is something that would be nice to do kind of to help, I guess. Well, it's like building muscle right after practicing.This is so interesting. It really is like, it seems like such a meditative kind of intuitive tapping in word and not so much like, okay, read this book and say this affirmation, it's like okay connect to yourself, you know say that affirmation because you're affirming that I'm open to receiving.



Yes, and really there's like so much power behind the intention of what you're doing, not just sitting there thinking like, alright, suddenly the download, like, yeah I'm open to this you know skepticism aside, it's so interesting, I would love to try this more.



So, I've had two readings with you so far, and they weren't completely blank, not even close to being similar in any way shape or form, in terms of the color in terms of the reading that you sent me how, like, can you see the orange changing in a person, or is it more like, it just kind of evolves over time, how does it work, how does that change work?



KV: I can see or a sense of something big is happening behind the scenes. I can see that happening if it's something like a, it's not like a mood ring it's, you know as you stub your toe and you're angry that I don't see anger. It has to be something that you're thinking about multiple times over time, and then it will show up if it needs to be addressed and cleared out for you.



VL: Interesting, I feel like you’re reading my mind! Oh my gosh it's so crazy. So, how often, in that, in that case, how often do you recommend someone get?



KV: I'll say typically every four I'd say nouns or weeds for adults and six weeks for children, and that's usually good on keeping up with your spiritual hygiene and maintenance.



VL: Oh, spiritual hygiene that’s fun, I've never heard that before. And I also saw what you do or readings for pets, how does that differ from humans?



[12:17] KV: The pets are actually, like, sorry I love humans but pets are my favorite to do because it's just, they have so much personality and I feel like because they speak English and talk to us and have a lot of things that I want to say in any outlet that will approach them. And so, it's just, it's a lot like they're more bold, and sometimes the humans are like holding themselves back because they're nervous and sometimes skeptical and that kind of thing but animals are just excited to talk and so it's just really exciting and I, if you want to do something for your animal I see also every six weeks.



VL: Very cool. My sister and my brother may be interested in that, because they both have rescue animals. 



KV: And I always say animals, even rescued animals are so fun to do.



VL: I'm gonna have to tell them all about this and I'm gonna get them to listen to this episode and convince them to get it.



This is actually a great transition into Paula's question and she wants to know, what information do you get from an aura reading, and then I'll just like to add to that question. Does the information really differ between adults, children, animals, that kind of thing?



KV: Yes, it does differ between adults, children and animals, the type of information I get is like, you know something people always ask me is, I don't want spirit to say all these, you're gonna have bad luck and you're gonna, you know, bad things are gonna happen, and spirit won't bring through negative messages, but they might bring through something that you're going through now that you're aware of, and that needs to be addressed and healed, but they bring that through for adults, and also for pets but I ask them to not bring that through for children because I feel like we don't need to know those things at this time and you know it's privacy and that kind of thing but the type of information that you get is, you know, you might get, like, a little bit of something from the future like kind of a psychic reading but you also, it's mostly just peeling out things in the past or in the present.



VL: Very interesting and I feel like you have a little pet friend who's joining us today. Like, I heard. Yeah, I love I love and we have extra special guests. 



Okay so that is very interesting and what you just said actually struck a new question for me, which was, when you said you ask spirit not to tell you certain things for children. This is super interesting because I always think, Are you kind of bombarded by this message like you just hear something or feel something or see something and you're like whoa I didn't really want to hear or feel or see that. So it sounds like you've created quite the connection and the boundaries with spirit, where can you, can you like, turn the messages on and off. How do you manage your boundaries with spirit?



[15:42] KV: That is a really good question because I've struggled with this for a long time and I think a lot of other people struggle with this, and that's why they're afraid to tap into spirit more, because some people may not realize that they're, you know, intuitive and have all these spirits approaching them and they're afraid and nervous and don't know what's going on. So, um, I, my mom taught me about spiritual hula hoops. You have to hold the hoop on the ground and you step in it and then you physically run up with your hands and put it up and then no more. That's like a beginner's way of creating boundaries but now I just say, like if I'm doing a reading for someone and say, I can feel that their leg hurts or something and it's usually when I say, I feel like you're like hurt that's because my leg is hurting or is trying to tell me about it and so I feel it for a minute.



And I'm able to just say firmly, stop, no more. I understand what you're saying, you can back away with it now I don't need to feel that anymore. And same with spirit approaching me if they're just driving me nuts and just can't, you know like, can't get out of my space, I just stop and sometimes you have to get what sounds rude but sometimes you have to get like firm and angry with them and, like, back away, that's enough. I can't. I need some space, and they'll listen.



VL: Wow, this is so interesting. So, I used to work at a yoga studio and at this yoga studio there was a woman who was a Reiki healer, and I called her the angel lady because she talks to your angels and your guides, and to be having this lovely conversation with this woman and all of a sudden she was just kind of turned her head and not right now.



And you're kind of looking around like, What the heck is she talking to, there's nobody there. And then she's like, Sorry, go on and like, she's like this wonderful human and she would just be very firm no. That's enough.



KV: Yeah, and sometimes you have to do that.



VL: Yeah and I asked her, like, what are you doing, and she was, she told me she, this is when I kind of learned about boundaries in the spiritual world and how you can say, this is not the time and you really have to be firm in that and so she helps me because I'm someone who has very vivid dreams to the point where I wake up and I don't feel rested, because I have all these you know messages or adventures and all these crazy kind of things happened to me overnight that she's, she taught me that before bed. I'd like to do a meditation that basically said, Okay, if you need to send me a message you can do so but I need to be rested I need to sleep. So tonight is not the night, or like, we open to another night and, but I had to have to say it because it's like they don't get the boundaries and once you put them up with. I feel like trickle into real life to teach them.



Oh that's so fascinating. So tell me a little bit more about your mom and your relationship with your mom. You said that she is a very special person. She's been teaching you a lot about what an aura is and these boundary tools, what kind of work does your mother do?



KV: First of all, love my mom. She's my best friend, um, see, if she does everything she's kind of a jack of all trades really she does.



Like, she's a psychic and medium, and so she does, either in person readings, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. She does, either in person readings or video readings and uses tarot cards and oracle cards and all that stuff. It's really cool.



VL: I was gonna say that is really cool, and this is something that you basically grew up around. And so, this is like the conversation that you guys had when you were little. And so cool. Does your mom see auras as well?



KV: She does not see so she always says she was with me but I mean she's good at everything else so I got to have something.

VL: Oh my gosh, I love that so much. That is really cool you know what I think it's so important and so powerful, especially for kids who are seeing or feeling or hearing things that you know a lot of other people aren't recognizing, to have someone to say, It's okay, this is what that means and, you know, ask questions and, but in a way that's like supportive so I'm really glad to hear that you and your mom are so close did you find that really helpful. Growing up, I guess that's kind of what you knew, right.



KV: Yeah, it was definitely super super helpful. You know, every time I thought I was crazy and felt overwhelmed and all of this stuff she was just like, hey, no I can feel that there's a spirit here and that's why this is happening to you so you're not crazy. It's okay, and it was super helpful my whole life, especially in my teenage years.



VL: That's so cool. Okay so I have to ask because we're on a video chat right now. Can you see my aura right now?



KV: Yes, I can and it's really like, because of the plain background that you have, it's very vivid and strong.



VL: Cool. So that's interesting that you say that so I'm basically sitting in a closet and a wall behind me is like cream colored but plain. So, I got an aura reading with you I want to say in March, and then a month or a month and a half later, like, kind of recently, I was teaching a client privately and behind her was like a pretty plain background, and I saw this like red glow beside her head and I kind of like I almost had to rub my eyes a little bit and say what, what am I looking at here, and it was almost like my eyes got a little fuzzy and I could see this red edge. It's Oh I wouldn't call it a halo, I wouldn't even say it's like a full or it was just like a part of her like half her head on the outside was red and I thought, oh my goodness because, could this be like me seeing an aura.



KV: Yeah!



VL: Yeah. And I think that like the, the white background was really helpful and there was no red or orange or anything behind her it was literally like a white wall and I just remember thinking, oh my gosh I need to tell Kennedy this like, what do I do, so what, what should I do and situations like that, if we said if we think we see an aura, what do we do?



[22:24] KV: Okay, first of all, that is so exciting. If it's someone where you're close enough to say like, Okay, we need to stop for a second and like, ask them to back up all the way to the wall if they weren't already on the wall, and just ask them to stay still for a second, and then maybe ask them to think about different major things in their life and see if you can see any color changing, but, you totally thought an aura.



VL: This is really cool. I love that you know, we can kind of tap into these parts of us and I'm finding that I'm becoming a little bit more in tune with myself because I'm spending more time in nature. I am meditating a little bit more, mostly spending a lot more time alone since we're still in a quarantine at this moment. So I'm finding that it's easier for me to kind of connect to these, these parts of myself so I love the advice that you shared with you know using tools like the pendulum, and the rose quartz and being in that stillness and I find it really helpful.



So let's say that, that we can't, I mean I can't really see my own aura and I'm. This was like a one time thing and I saw this other woman's aura so if we wanted to get an aura rating with you, how do we get the most out of this experience? So you were saying, Like a plain background is really helpful. Would that be helpful for a reading with you?



[23:51] KV: Yeah, that would be helpful if you could take your picture with a plain background. Also, I really appreciate when people, you know, it's not just a headshot it's like half your mid body and, and then I can see more what's going on if you have something physical going on that needs to be healing that might show up better in that sort of shot so I'm trying to do better in recommending people take those types of pictures and so they can get the most out of it, like you say. 



VL: That's really interesting because I usually send you a selfie. But Well, yours are good because they're farther far enough back, yeah like I like to really extend my arm out there. Okay, that's so interesting, so kind of like the belly button up or like the waist up, and maybe like a bigger background. Can we do like a full body shot, can we send you the whole thing. Yeah, sure. That works great too. So cool. So I worked with you before and it's very simple. I love the way that you do this, I was telling you this before we started recording but basically it was like, you tell me what day you're available, I send you the picture in the morning, you send me the reading you know by the end of the day, sometimes even sooner, and it's all through email and I love it because I can kind of look back on it and see my reading and, you know, some like the readings that I've had were very emotional, and I, I'll talk about them because I'm comfortable talking about them but the first one was more of like a physical healing, which was so interesting because it had a little bit to do and I don't know if you remember this but had a little bit to do with my hormones, and I have been working on balancing my hormones at the time so it was so lovely, that this was a part of my reading. And then what I also found was interesting was that I wanted Craig to get the reading too. I was like Craig, I got you a gift. He was like, okay, he's not super into the whole like, we call it like the woowoo spirituality but he's open to, he's like open to trying whatever I'm like basically I'm like I'm going to take a picture of you and send it to somebody. So what I thought was really cool was that you saw, like, almost kinda like part of me and his aura and you're like oh you guys were you guys are part of each other's energy or something like that, how does that work, how do you know that that's happening?



KV: Sometimes that will show up, and like, you know sometimes couples want two readings together it'll be. Same color, same color or I had a couple that had, like, let's say red, yellow, orange and then the other person had orange, yellow, red and I just know that that means that they're connected and so it's really cool that way and that just means that your souls are super connected and where they're supposed to be at that time and so it's kind of reassuring I think at least.



VL: Yeah, that's lovely. And that's what I was gonna say about the second or a reading. I had with you was very different. The colors were very different, and you read the aura more of an overall reading versus breaking down each color. And what I thought was interesting about the second or reading was that it wasn't really a physical or emotional, well maybe emotional but it wasn't really a physical healing, it was more like hey, something's been on your mind, and this is this reassuring message that you needed to hear. And so again, like, two completely different readings, obviously, like, a few months apart.



But I thought that was pretty cool. And do you find that there's like a pattern with people who get readings if it mostly heals? Is it mostly like physical or emotional healings, is it you know an overall reading, I mean, I've only had two experiences.



[27:54] KV: Um, I honestly it's all over the place all the time sometimes, you know, I think that's why I asked for a picture, the morning of because things can change so quickly and you're just not sure what it's going to be and sometimes it's like you say I do ring by ring and that's how spirit wants to do it but lately for almost all of my readings and it's been addressed as the whole and it's kind of been like a psychic reading and I don't know if that has to do with things that are going on in the world or the way the moon is or something but it just, it's always moving and it's always fluid, it's really cool.



VL: That's really cool and for the listeners who don't understand what Kennedy or I are saying by like color by color ring by ring is that typically in the aura reading you're seeing multiple colors and they're kind of layered over top of each other in this reading and in my first reading you kind of started on the inside. And you worked your way out and I think of it like when you chop a tree down and you see the rings of a tree, it's kind of like, that's what it kind of looked like in the one of the readings that I've seen, and you explain that every color means something different. And that doesn't mean that pink for me means the same thing as pink for somebody else, it's very dependent on that specific reading. Is that correct?



KV: That is totally correct I there is, you know, if you Google, what is orange or me and there is like a, what do you call it like a legend of colors, but I don't really do well with that I don't follow that I used to try to do that but it just got confusing and the messages were contradicting what the legend said and so I just kind of do a free for all, I guess if that's what you want to say but it's totally different colors mean different things every day for the most part



VL:  I really appreciate that you explain this, when I was getting the war rating because to be honest I've always wanted an aura rating. I've never had one before and I never really knew anyone who could do it so when I, when I came across you and your page I was like, oh my god, I was so excited I jumped on the opportunity immediately. So it was really interesting to have you type it out and explain to them I thought oh this is so this is different. It's really cool.



My most recent reading, I feel like it was ambushed. Because you said there was like a Spirit coming through for a message for someone else, but not and you're like oh this is different.



So what I was gonna say to to that was that this isn't the first time that my energetic or spiritual reading has been, and the word is, I'm using as an ambush, but like, That's I guess the best word I can describe it as because like I'm here for a spiritual reading, and then someone else's messages coming through to me, and it's so wild how this has actually happened three times to me in the last year and I've probably only had like three or four sessions with people in the last year so I don't know if you have like an explanation for that this is like a little bit more of a personal and selfish question but I don't know if you have like an explanation for that. Or maybe some guidance for me like am I not putting my boundaries up or something. I just like an open vessel for other people's spirit animals and your guides to come.



[31:19] KV: Okay, is a good question because people are always like, they're kind of bummed about it and I totally understand. But it's honestly it's kind of like an honor because that means that you're just so open to the spiritual world that there's someone around you or something like that that's probably a skeptic, or just super closed off and spirit is desperate to get a message to them and they've been trying everything so last resort is kind of just to get their way through someone else's reading and just say excuse me, sorry I need to get the message through it's really important, and then that kind of, they come and then they go.



VL: It's so interesting and that's usually the feedback that I get that's like, oh, there's someone here or there's a message here, and the reason why this person has come or this energy is coming to you is because they know that you are going to receive this message and give it to the other person. And so I'm always just like.. “Mhmm”



I'm looking at the time and I'm thinking, Okay, I've just talked your ear off, but I do have a baby. Maybe this is like a loaded question, but I do have one more thing I wanted to talk to you about before we get into the last part of the show and basically it was something that you shared with me, you talked about opening our ER like people can do this opening our spiritual body to receiving those messages from spirit, as well as discovering manifestation power so I feel like we touched on this a little bit with tools with becoming still. Are there any last words of wisdom, pieces of advice, or maybe extending a little bit more expanding a little bit more on the manifestation part of that?



[32:48] KV: Okay so, it kind of goes back to the boundaries and you have to be super firm in your boundaries first. That's step number one, I feel like it's really you can't manifest until you have your boundaries.



And so, once you have your boundaries in place you can kind of use, like, a co-worker, almost like, Okay, now I'm, you know, receiving all these messages for you. What can you do for me now. And so, for example, if you want a way car, the snake, this model, this price, then you just have to keep saying, adults, can I please don't do that, say, like, this is what I want, okay this is what I want this is when I want it. And this is how, like, you have to help me in order to reach this in the timeframe that I want.



 And so, yeah, you just have to be firm and say, This is what I want, this is what I want it, you're gonna help me get to those points, and then you'll be able to reach your manifestation goals. Does that make sense?



VL: Yeah! Well, this has been a very interesting conversation about some technical difficulties around. But this has been so helpful I learned a lot. I feel like this was such a fun and refreshing conversation.



IG @disneyandauras

Website disneyandauras.com 



Check Kennedy and I out on June 25th when we go LIVE on Instagram @vallavignelife and I’ll also include the Rapid Fire Round in our live together.



Lastly, YOU ABSOLUTELY NEED TO BOOK A READING WITH KENNEDY ASAP!

 

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E134: Balancing the Masculine & Feminine Energies in Life & Business
 
 

E134: Balancing the Masculine & Feminine Energies in Life & Business

Live your life, and run your business in flow when you learn to activate, engage, and balance your masculine & feminine energy…


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[2:42] Alright! Today we are talking about two energies: Masculine and Feminine. In tantra they are known as SHIVA & SHAKTI (respectively).  Both masculine and feminine energies exist within men and women. These energies will vary based on the person, and the important piece is to activate both parts and create a balance between them. One is not better or lesser than the other, there is no right or wrong. The goal we’re focusing on today is balance.


My intention for this episode is to help you understand which of the two energies you’ve been activating and how you can create a flow of these complimenting parts of you. Engaging and balancing both sides can support our businesses, relationships, and overall health and well-being including emotional and mental health.


If you’ve listened to the show before you probably already know that I’m all about ACTION! I like to say, action is where the magic happens; through action we achieve results. However, action can be taken with either the masculine or feminine energy.


[4:06] In Alisa Vitti’s book Woman Code she shares with us what these two energies “look like in action” and I’m going to read them and share them with you here.


Taken from the book Woman Code by Alisa Vitti:

Masculine Energy:

  • Tenaciously pursuing what you want

  • Deciding when/where/how a project grows

  • Focusing on the end result, less on process

  • Focusing on one thing at a time

  • Relying on only yourself and your individual achievements

  • Setting boundaries around emotions and body in order to accomplish goals

  • Relating through camaraderie, entertainment, and problem solving


Feminine Energy:

  • Magnetically attracting what you want

  • Holding the space for projects to develop at their natural pace

  • Enjoying the process of creation independent of the end result

  • Seeing the big picture; multitasking on many aspects of life

  • Working with others; effortlessly creating community 

  • Connecting to emotional and physical life as a catalyst for change and development

  • Relating to others by listening, sharing, and nurturing


Imbalance of the Shiva and Shakti energy can take a toll on our physical bodies, and our businesses. Here are some signs of imbalance.


Overly masculine energy looks and feels like: burnout, overworking, adrenal fatigue, stress, disconnection from our body and emotions, and lack of rest/trouble falling asleep.


Overly feminine energy looks and feels like: many incomplete projects, perfectionism, overly emotional, lack of direction and focus, not grounded, avoiding details or certain tasks, and lack of energy and motivation.


[7:12] TAKE ACTION: What is your masculine/feminine balance? Go through your day and ask yourself which energies you are engaging and activating when it comes to. I’ll give you seven areas of the day, and some examples of the energies in these parts of the day, and you keep score of which energy you take on for this part of your day.


1: Your morning routine and how you wake up: (masculine) you’re awake and thinking about the day ahead, you’ve got your to do list mapped out and your schedule blocked off, you’re ready to check the boxes.

(feminine) you wake up and check in with your body to connect with how it’s feeling. Self care is a large part of your routine and you might do a mediation, a skincare ritual, or enjoy your time in a warm shower. As the morning continues, you also continue to check in with yourself.


2: The bulk of your day, and work: (masculine) one task at a time, you’re checking off the to-do list and you’re not stopping until it’s done. Always pushing to finish the work.

(feminine) you know that things will always come together and intuitively choose the task that you want to work on. Work is prioritized by the tasks that have the most impact and value.


3: Your social engagements: (masculine) other people don’t need to know how you’re feeling or what’s going on with you, this is something you can problem solve on your own.

(feminine) You’re open to sharing with friends about how you’re feeling and are comfortable with hearing the input and support from them.


4: Meals: planning, prepping, eating: (masculine) you’re sticking to your diet plan, even when it’s not serving you, sometimes you forget to eat because you’re busy working on tasks.

(feminine) your day is planned in advance and you’ve made sure there is time for meals, as well as food available for when you need it. You observe when your body is hungry and nourish it.


5: Exercise: (masculine) you know your fitness goal for the month and your workout gets you there. No matter what, you always push through.

(feminine) You choose your work out based on how you’re feeling that day. You always do your best, and what your body is capable of.


6: Time spent with your romantic partner: (masculine) you want to talk about what you’ve accomplished that day, and lounge in front of the TV, or scrolling through social media.

(feminihne) you want to talk about how you’re feeling, and make time to connect through cooking together, eating together, going for a walk, or downtime before bed.


7: Your evening routine: (masculine) the end of the day involves organizing the house, cleaning up the kitchen, and finishing the laundry. You’re ready for your next day’s to-do list.

(feminine) You look for ways to connect with your partner, pets, or kids and prefer soothing self care like bubble baths, gua sha, or reading to end the day. 


[11:12] When you’ve revealed your score, remember that the goal is balance. The first time I did this exercise I noticed that my weekends, when I wasn’t committed to working a set schedule, were very faminine, and my weekdays were more masculine. The balance might not have been during the whole day, but I stepped back and saw it as a weekly score and recognized that I wanted to create more balance during the week as a whole so I brought in more feminie energy into my weekdays.


There will be seasons in your life where more masculine energy is needed, for example, when you're in launch mode of your offering. The same goes for feminine seasons: during content creation as an example. The really wonderful part of all of this is that YOU get to decide what balance means to you! 


Through the (feminine) habit of checking in with our bodies, and ourselves, we’ll start to notice whether or not our shiva and shakti are in balance. To make sure we check in, we can use the (masculine) habit of scheduling in this time into our calendars, and adding it in as part of our to-do list and make sure it gets done.


[12:45] Now it’s your turn to put this into play for yourself. Take a look at your scorecard, and notice where you can incorporate more balance. Perhaps you switch up your evening routine with some journaling and reading instead of folding the laundry. 


Maybe you want to try a structured morning to get you moving and starting the day. Eventually you’ll find the best balance for yourself, and what works for you and your energy!

Share your practices with me on instagram @vallavignelife

 

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

Categories

Download the FREE Dream Lifestyle Roadmap

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E133: Elevating Your Morning Routine
 
 

E133: Elevating Your Morning Routine with Alexandra Panagoulia of Batch Beauty Lab

Meet the founder of Batch Beauty Lab, business consultant, and philanthropist, Alexandra Panagoulia in this week’s episode of the Women’s Empowerment Podcast as she shares her high-vibe morning routine and the best practices for making our mornings better…


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[2:13] Valerie LaVigne: Welcome back to The Women's Empowerment Podcast today I'm super excited to introduce you to our newest guest Alexandra Panagoulia. Alexandra is an entrepreneur and business strategy consultant with a strong passion for creating a positive social impact with a love for all things wellness and self discovery, Alexandra created batch beauty lab, a local natural skincare brand to promote confidence individuality and self care, naturally, a one woman show determined to make a difference, Alexandra is also passionate about helping young women pursue their passions through her consultancy white owl strategy, Alexandra dedicates time monthly to speak with aspiring entrepreneurs and help to guide them in the direction of pursuing their dream.



Wow, you are so cool.



I'm so happy to have you on the show and honestly I already know this about you, but reading your bio. I just feel like you are such an Aquarius, and I love this so much, a teacher, a leader, a philanthropist. You know you do so many things and you help so many people so I'm super excited to have you on the show today, super excited to absorb all of your knowledge and information. So thank you so much for being here.



Alexandra Panagoulia:: Thank you so much for having me. I'm really excited



VL: how we met was about probably about a year ago now, through a kind of like minded community of entrepreneurs in the make lemonade online networking community so I think it's really excited to, to see how kind of our relationship has grown over the last year, and we've kind of popped in colors to social media now and then, we've reconnected, more so recently, and one of the things I love about following you and watching you and learning more about viewing and getting to know you as a person, is that you have some really incredible, kind of like self care habits and rituals, and some of them are really similar. So I've been noticing that you've been walking a lot, and tracking your, your walks just like I have been.



AP: Every morning, I love my morning walks. I love walking in the evening too, but there's something about, you know starting your day outside, creating a call within yourself and just acknowledging and appreciating the environment that we're in, and I think that it's really powerful for me to start my day.



Greeting the sun or walking outside and just getting my body moving and waking up slowly and really special and I've been walking every morning.



More so, you know, the beginning of the pandemic, it was a great way to get outdoors and change the scenery and when I was working my corporate job. I was walking to the bus stop every morning, but I was definitely not enjoying my surroundings and I was running around and always rushing and I think that the shift from walking as, like, a means to get somewhere and rushing and it's really been different for me when I'm walking to enjoy it to create a ritual for myself and clarity within myself, and also a sense of calm so it's been great. It's been a great transition for me.



VL: Yeah, I love that I think what you said was really cool about how, you know, it's a, there's a new intention or a new purpose behind your morning walks and your morning routine versus what you were doing before. So for those listeners who haven't explored your website before or know much about you, you, you're used to working corporate and then the last few years, you started your own company, and why don't you tell us a little bit about what batch beauty lab is and how it transpired how its manifested over the last few years.




[6:30] AP: I would love to. And it's a really great question. So, my professional background is in business strategy, marketing and communications. And so coming out of university. I held many corporate typing jobs within marketing communications, so I've worked at tech startups and I've worked in corporate banking. 



But while doing that, I've always had a passion for consulting and just helping people. And so, grow university I started a business called White owl strategy, and at White owl strategy I consult with business entrepreneurs on business strategy but also helping to refine their marketing and communication strategies and something that comes naturally to me and I really do enjoy watching people grow and watching their ideas transpire into businesses, and something that I always want to continue to do.



But when I was doing my master's, I had an opportunity to launch a business, and it was, it started in a school course actually so it was our entrepreneurship course, and I had the opportunity to think about what am I really passionate about and at the time, I was really passionate about living a holistic lifestyle and skincare and natural beauty is something that I've always been really interested in and I thought hey you know what, this is a great time for me to start exploring how I'm going to bring my passion for natural beauty together and beauty brands, my skincare brand. And when I was thinking about what that might look like at the time I was always hosting. Do It Yourself type workshops in my parents kitchen for skincare so do yourself skincare so we were making bath salts or body moisture bars and blending oils and I, that was my aha moment I was like, I'm going to create something where people have the opportunity to experience how great it is to blend and mix and create your own batch of product. And that's where I came up with bajri lab, and the original concept of batch beauty Labs is that you would find your own skincare so we have something very unique and original where customers are able to purchase a base plus booster combines the two to activate a formula, and essentially create their own bathroom product. And so, while I was in that, that master's program, I was working really hard behind the scenes on my business plan I participated in a pitch competition, and I actually got some funding to kickstart the business, and I use that funding to immediately find a chemist who was willing to work with me to create really great natural formulas that people would love.



And now here we are two years later, celebrated our 10 year anniversary of competence for the person who's using them and really celebrate individuality and people onto our website you'll see skincare for the bold and unique, and I find that in everything I do I really want to be bold. I want to be bold in my decisions and I want to embrace my uniqueness and I bought that to come out in our products as well and so that's a little bit of a batch beauty lab and how we got started.



[10:25] VL: That's so amazing. It's been such a short amount of time for this. This transition and this growth and like you said, like, it's not just your business and your lifestyle that's changed but also the smaller kind of habits that you're, you're focusing on, like your morning walks and how they changed from going to the bus stop to being more of this more of a ritual and really kind of opens up where do you use, you said you were grading the sun and slowly waking up but I think there's so much power, and so much beauty in kind of this, this new way of living that you have and how, you know, the corporate life was, I guess we could say and, you know, Jeff and correct me if I'm wrong, but the corporate life, I'd say it was supporting habits of, you know, check it off the box, get from point A to point B, where as this new business has never and batch beauty lab and the mission behind it is supporting a completely new way of living, and I'd love for you to share a little bit more about your morning routine can you take us behind the scenes maybe walk us through a morning into your life.




AP: Absolutely. And, you know, you bring up a really great point, my morning routine has definitely transitioned. And I think that once I had the autonomy to plan my own day and become an entrepreneur who's really invested in the business, I wanted to create a routine that allowed me to really be myself. And, you know, be an entrepreneur who's leading with clarity and purpose and intention. And when it came to creating my own schedule, I'm like, I'm going to create a ritual I need to create a ritual that's going to allow me to be myself throughout the entire day and that really is what my morning ritual is. And so, it's nothing too crazy, but I mean, it means a lot to me and I find that it just got me time in the morning. And so if I'm taking you behind the scenes. I first thing I do when I wake up is I open up my, my blinds. And I just love to embrace the day and greet the sun like I said, I am a certified yoga teacher so like do I really love doing sun salutations when I come out of bed, I just do one little sun salutation, you know, get the body moving, get the blood flowing, and just take some time to set an intention for my day so when I'm opening up the blinds and it's a sunny day or it's a really snowing morning I'm like okay so this is, this is the foundation of what we're dealing with in terms of environment so how am I going to set a positive intention for my day so that I'm going to be productive, how am I going to nourish my body and my mind so that I'm gonna be able to execute on what I want to achieve for the day. So taking time to just, you know, reflect and set an intention is definitely something that's really important to me.



After that, I, I am obsessed with the daily stoic like it's a book that was gifted to me by here here in front of me, it's by Ryan Holiday, it is essentially daily meditations that just, you know, provoke some thought into your day, and I read a page a day. And I think that's great for me to again set intentions. Think about things from a different perspective, and I really really do love to journal so it's something sent out to me that I'm reading then I'll journal about that. But I'll read my daily stoic, and then I'll pick up my five minute journal, and I'll quickly raise my gratitude list so what are the three things that I'm grateful for today. And what is my affirmation for the day so my affirmation today was, I am worthy and capable of achieving all of my dreams. And so, you know, writing an affirmation that is suitable for the day ahead or for not feeling, or just you know what I need to keep going, is something that really resonates with me. So, all of that takes about, I don't know, maybe the first 15 to 20 minutes of my morning and wash up. And I start my day with some more lemon water makes me feel really great. Shout out to my naturopathic doctor, Dr Sarah Duino for just, you know, instilling really great habits, and I think the lemon water is really great one. And then I go straight outside so change into my runners and I go straight outside for a morning walk and that's anything from 20 minutes to 45 minutes and just really enjoying like I said, environment, feeling gratitude, and again, because we built the intention that except for myself for that day, and really taking time to process okay this is what I have upcoming for the day, and this is how I want to show up for the people that I'm interacting with and this is how I want to show up for my business and this is how I want to show up for myself so taking that time in the morning to kind of be a little inverted and and how I want to show up in the world, it's really important for me.



BOOK: The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday

JOURNAL: 5 Minute Journal




[16:23] VL: I love those books that you mentioned.So, is that so many great things I feel like I want to incorporate a lot of the little habits that you are doing. And then some of the things I want to highlight from what you said were the kind of going inward, that introverted time for you to or that introspective time for you to describe how you want to show up each day whether that was the intention or the feeling, or how you how you want to act. And when I want to know from there is, like, can you give us an example for maybe the one that you use for today of what your intention was, and then how does that tangibly relate to the actions you take for the rest of the day?



AP: So, a great question. So today I knew that I had a coaching call with a client, this morning, and I also know that prepatch PT lab, I have my first two hires actually serving this week. And I also was thinking about how I want to show up for the podcast today. So, this morning on my morning walk I really was thinking about the frequency that I want to be in for the rest of my day, I want to be really high vibes for my coaching client. I want her to feel confident about her business I want her to feel confident about the information that we're exchanging and, and I want to exude that for her. I want to support and show up for her in that way. And I knew that I wanted to be authentic. Today when you and I were talking and I also know that after this call when I delve into the work for batch beauty, love I want the new hires to know that I'm here to support them and to help them and to help them grow and that's really important to me. So when you're asking me like what did I do, what did I think about while setting those intentions, how did I decide that that's how I want to show up. I really started to think about, you know, the things that could impact that positive vibe and how I'm going to choose to handle them today. And so, you know, it's not that there's any predisposed situation or environment that I have in mind but you know things come up like a call runs late, or I I'm rushing because I'm actually always rushing but so this, this routine for me is like really great allows me to slow down and, and to gather my thoughts.



But I think it really is just a matter of creating your intention, determining how you want to show up, how do you want to show up in the world, and how are you going to react to things that kind of impede on your plans. And it's hard and it takes a lot of self awareness and it takes a lot of control to be able to decipher your emotions from your actions, but I think that if you could think that you could take time in the morning to set those intentions, and also, you know, determine how you want to show up and how you want to act if things don't go according to plan, just allows a smoother execution of your day when, when things do fall in line.



[20:20] VL: Yeah, that is a great point, and even just thinking of myself this morning, I set the intention to be calm today, and I didn't think too much, but I knew that I had a lot of things to do so.



 from the studio to the podcast to my own consulting, there, there was a lot on the to do list. And I thought, Okay, I'll get an early headstart on the day. I'm going to go to the, I'm going to walk to the post office and deliver my packages first thing in the morning. And on my way and thankfully I figured this out very early on in my walk but on my way. I'm like, oh it's such a beautiful day. Wait a second, it's really early in the morning, Will the post office be open to take these packages, and luckily I had my phone on me and I looked at that and I'm like, no, they're closed, and then I turned around, I'm like okay well like you know I got a little walk in, and now I have to go to the next thing. And part of it was like oh this is kind of throwing me off because in a way I could have, I could have decided and chosen this this situation as, oh my gosh you're just wasting my time. And then I thought well this is just poor planning, and then for some reason I thought this podcast interview was an hour before it actually was so I was like, all set up here in my little closet, getting ready to do that episode and then I'm thinking that's great I'm not getting a notification on my phone that like, five minutes to go, and I will go like, Oh my God it's not for another hour, like, and I just felt like, again another Hiccup and I'm like no I didn't. I was so stressed out about my massive to do list this morning, but I didn't really consider the how I was going to incorporate my intention, and I mean it was it's happening anyway like I remain calm. I was like alright well whatever, go back to the desk, go back to what I was working on before. Then we'll just return here but it's like these little hiccups throughout the day. And you know, that happens sometimes, you know, we set the intention to be calm, we set the intention to be productive and some surprises come away, or we forget something, or we get a call or whatever, and I think it's important to remember that even if we don't get that full morning routine or even when those hiccups arrive at those speed bumps, we can always reset so I know that for this podcast episode I'm going to reset again and maybe I'll do that through a walk or inspiring me to take that action to go through a walk. So, yeah, I love that you're thinking about, you know what you have to do, how are you.



Probably the best kept secret and maybe it's not a secret, but I think it's one of the things that people often forget as entrepreneurs or business owners. We know going out into the world each day, not thinking about how you want to show up and break it down into something more specific. What are you going on today? If you are speaking in front of people, how do you want to show up for them? If you're working on your business, how do you want to do it? How do you want to be in your business? I think it's so important and I love how you are. How are you sharing that so thank you so much, it's just getting so much insight into my own into my own intentions and my own practices.



So you talk about, you know, really believing in achieving clarity, and a life and in business, and yes we can take it into something a little bit more specific and break it down into our day to day. But what about those times where, you know, whether it's maybe it's a lack of clarity. How do we find clarity when we're when we're having trouble with, with that focus. How do we turn off that outside noise?



[24:16] AP: Great question, and I'm a really really strong believer that your actions, the to align with your intentions, and so can make it perfectly clear, and by no means, I have, by no means perfected the morning routine but we're, you know, achieving clarity and it's a constant learning process, but I can see that I've improved on becoming very self aware, and I think that's something, you know, a tangible takeaway is, you want to align your daily actions with your daily intentions, it's really important, so if I want to be successful in business, I want to have an organized workflow and I want customers to land on my website and feel a sense of competence and, you know, like I want them to feel the emotion that I'm putting into my business, I need to make sure that my daily actions are aligned with with those intentions so daily consistent action. I think it is something to play here. You want daily consistent action towards your goal, and I think it's really important, and that daily consistent action needs to be aligned with your intentions, and once you can do that successfully, and you are so aware that what you're doing today does not align with the intention of being confident, powerful, strong, successful, whatever your intention might be called.




If your daily action, if you're self aware enough to recognize that your daily actions aren't aligned with your attentions.



You can make a change in your you'll be able to, you know, be one step closer to achieving your goals and achieving clarity so if my intention for the day is, you know, I just want to have a nice calm productive day and I'm running around and rushing and duplic sorry my actions are not aligned with my attention, and I'm aware enough to recognize that and so I take a step back, like you said my regroup reset, and that's okay. That's actually great it's a great personal development to be able to recognize when you need to take time for yourself, we need to reset. And, you know, take that moment to decide how you want to move forward.



And that is considered to me daily consistent action, that's something that I do, constantly to be able to maintain clarity, and when it comes to, you know, clarity, for my business when I am my most authentic self. That's when I get my best business ideas and that's when the ideas actually work in my favor. So if I'm thinking about something or want to do something but I'm not sure on how to execute it or you know I have this really great idea for a product to bring to market but something I, but I'm unsure I'm unclear on how to do it or even how to execute it's something that I really love to do is just take, take time for myself. So like you said, reset, go for a walk, do some yoga, do some journaling and get back to being my true authentic self, shut out the outside noise. And when I can come back to myself that I'm thinking about, you know my intentions or something that I want to execute on, that's when I get my best ideas, that's when they're working in my favor, that's when they're on my frequency, etc. And I think that if you have clarity within yourself. You can get clarity within other aspects of your life because you are truly authentically, moving forward, fearlessly and confidently yourself. If that is making sense or if I'm just rambling let me know but I think that the authenticity and originality and uniqueness that we all have within ourselves. If that's what creates our personality, those are our characteristics, and finding clarity and taking time to come back to that within yourself, allows for more clarity and other aspects of your life.



[28:35] VL: This is such a deep topic. But as we're talking about it I'm like oh my gosh there's so many pieces to this and there's so many layers to it, and I think the biggest thing, or I guess the thing that I want to amplify and what you're saying is, it doesn't need to be a huge thing that you do every single day it's the small thing that you do and what makes it so powerful is the time is the consistency that small thing over time. And it compounds and it becomes this transformation not overnight, and maybe this is the missing piece for people to say, you know, I want the successful business I want the you know the life where I feel good in my body every single day.



You know what you want, whatever the result is fill in the blank, and we're here doing the okay we did a morning ritual today. Okay, my intention this morning was to be calm. And then tomorrow we're like okay we're not calm anymore. Well this is where the work comes in, is that over time, we're building into this practice, and this goes for everything you said whether it's walking every morning or creating the sun or setting the intention or becoming more true and authentic to yourself. This is also compounding over time. This is also growing each day as you practice it and you know as you're speaking I can, I can speak from my own experience to like, the more that I connect to myself, the more that I make time for this important part of my morning or my day routine.



The more clear I get in my business and I spoke about this on the previous episode, or no, it was an IG live that I did this past week was that I was feeling like I was really struggling, and I'm thinking to myself, How can I not be making sales right now how can I be feeling so horrible in my body, and doing the work I was showing up every single day. I'm doing my routine, I'm speaking authentically like I could not be more real and more present than I am right now. But everything is going to crap.



And this is the time where we need to keep going and maintain that consistency, because I'm not even kidding you. A couple days later, I kept doing it showed up. Wasn't everybody not doing so great, this is what's helping me this is what I'm doing this is how I'm staying consistent. This is not setting intentions and showing up, and within a few days, I had two one on one clients.



I had, you know, the number of people saying like, how inspired they were about my work, how much they enjoyed a podcast episode. I mean, there just was like this, overflowing abundance of all of the things I was desiring and you know people listening to this could say like oh well that morning routines on so lash, and I would love to have the luxury of, you know, a one hour time for myself. And, and you can probably say speak to this too but like, start with passive and credible practice, it started with these little tiny practices that we cleared over time to create something that, that speaks to you, that supports you. So now I'm going off on a tangent and rambling, just so much to what you said that it has, you know these deeper layers of this deeper meaning to it where it's those small actions, small actions consistency I feel like are the three things that if anyone's listening to this podcast episode is going to take something away. These three words together that we need to remember.



[32:44] AP: Yeah, you bring up a great point and you know I have people reach out to me because I really love to document my daily walks on my Instagram or you know just share a little beautiful picture. The trees or the clouds, whatever it might be, but I really want to get out and do that. How do you do it. I have to wake up an hour and a half earlier, to start my day. My day starts at nine o'clock and I know my desk at nine o'clock I know I'm waking up earlier because it's really important to me to check that time and so I think that creating non negotiables for yourself. It's also really important, creating those non negotiables boundaries that allow you to establish that time for yourself, and it doesn't have to be an hour, it can be 15 minutes it can be 15 minutes when you wake up, it can be 30 minutes before you go to the bed but it's really important to take time for yourself. And that's something that I've learned throughout the years, and that's what I think drives me to want to be better and it motivates me because now I understand after, you know, achieving some of my own personal goals, that it's really the daily consistent action, like you said, that makes all the difference, but I wanted to touch on, on the point of something you said earlier, is that sometimes you just, You don't want to wake up and do yoga, or go for a walk or you're tired or you're this is your lens so many things come up, but I heard, I don't I don't remember why I did this but the point is is sometimes when you don't want to do something that's exactly what you need to do if your bodies so I don't want to go over, I don't want to go for a walk or stretch. Sometimes that's exactly what your body needs you to do, or if you know you're, it's fine to have those off days, but it's also really productive to challenge yourself to do something and build your mental endurance, especially when you don't want to do it and I find that there are so many mornings where I'm like, I need to press snooze or I'd love to have like an extra 20 minutes to just like curl up in bed. But then I'm like, You know what, I think my body wants to outside or if my body needs to move, or I need to achieve that mental clarity so I'm gonna challenge myself to get up and even if it's only for 10 minutes this morning.



So, I think, a point that I'd love to share with the audience is that challenge yourself.




And, you know, establish a mental endurance for things that you really really want in life and get them and challenge yourself and create a routine or create intentions and actions that align with what your dream is aligned with what you want to achieve. And I think that it all comes down to self awareness. And, again, sounding really repetitive but the daily consistent action



[36:02] VL: you spoke to so many great points and this year there are going to be days where we're like, I don't want to show up. I don't want to do work. And I will say, the sharing my walks on social media, and people knowing and messaging me and texting me and saying like oh like I went for a walk today and, you know, it's such a beautiful day You inspire me to get outside and that is holding me accountable for my own practices and so having a without social accountability or a healthy habit mentor like when I offer or just a friend. We can meet for those walks or have a phone call when it makes such a difference in maintaining the habit, especially when you're first starting out, you know, you start to lose a little bit of that momentum, well no, you're building momentum but you're losing a little bit of the inspiration and the motivation. So, yeah and you know what there is a little bit of discipline involved in creating any new habit, so whether that's waking up earlier, or, you know, really creating the space and physically putting into your calendar, I'm taking a break, and turn off your computer and turn off your phone when you're on those breaks I think it's really important.



And this is something that I resisted, really long time was discipline, and a routine. It was just so funny now because now I coach people with habits. And I have a very, very colorful schedule was very organized. However, in the, in for a long time I thought I was such a rebel, like, I don't need a norm clock, I don't need a schedule, I don't need to be anywhere doing anything at a certain time like that life is rigid. And what I was completely missing. Was that discipline, equals, freedom, and having these intentions having a you know a little bit more of an outline to my schedule and it's not like incredibly rigid there's there are scheduled breaks in there so some people would find that rigid because I'm scheduling my really it's a non negotiable for me at this time every day, I go for a walk or I turn off the computer or the screen or whatever it is, I spend time outside. That is actually allowing me to create a life of financial freedom of time freedom of just feeling what's important to me and my core value is freedom and for a long time I didn't realize how much the discipline of a routine was actually going to bring me to that place of freedom. So, you know I wouldn't, I always like to encourage people to not hate it until they try it and see if it works you'll learn and experiment with yourself and really give yourself that time. So what would you recommend for someone starting out, what would you recommend, where they start and how long they try their new habit, some checkpoints maybe take us through that little bit.



[39:03] AP: Great question. I would recommend to do something that makes you feel good, makes you feel good, you should be doing it. If it's going for a walk, like we were saying, or journaling or doing a little bit of movement or stretching in your bed or even meditation I love meditating. It makes you feel good, and if it's a habit that you want to start, then you should consider doing it. And you're the habit expert here, so I want to say. I hear that it takes 21 days to form a habit, is that right?



VL: It depends on the person.



AP: Yeah, right. So, I would say. My recommendation would be to do something that makes you feel good, do and at the same time every single day and do it for four weeks three to four weeks, and hold yourself accountable. I love that you brought the accountability point up because that's a really really great point. And if you can have an accountability buddy, or, you know, create a mental contract with yourself like I'm not going to go to bed. Unless I wrote one page in my journal. And you make that a mental contract with yourself and an agreement that, but you really want to stick to that I would recommend doing something like that. I know that before I go to bed before I put my head down on the pillow. I always write three great things that happened during the day, and I keep my, my pen in my notepad beside my bed and I know that that's just an agreement that I have with myself before I go to bed tonight I want to acknowledge three great things that happened today. And so, you know, just to kind of sum up the recommendation, it would be do something that makes you feel good, preferably a habit that you want to start doing for three to four weeks, do it the same time every single day doesn't have to be can be something like one minute meditation or two minutes scratch or whatever works for you.



Guaranteed. If you can do this to it, you'll feel so good you will have a new found confidence in yourself because you're sticking to something that you've agreed to, and you're the only person that can create positive change in your own life. And I think that there's going to be time for it's going to be challenging and it's going to be difficult to stick to your goals but again going back to the point that it's challenging, then you need to do it because it's, it's helping you grow. And I think that that's a really great takeaway for the people listening here today.



[42:00] VL: You made some excellent points for sure. It is such a powerful part of personal development, to overcome challenges to celebrate those wins and that success and that transformation that's happening. And it can be hard to see that over, because it's so small but over time. There is a difference, and there is a transformation there but sometimes we don't always see it because we're the ones taking that one step in front of the other, the people who aren't on the journey with us every single day, they see the transformation from day one to day 30 or however many days you've been doing it for so I think it's really important to look back and to celebrate the strength that you've built over time right and to, to record those wins every day. Love that. Love your, your gratitude journal practice. This has been so wonderful and I feel like you're such a breath of fresh air and love that you shared your morning routine with us, and kind of some of the tangible tips and and the reminders and they inspiration for us to get started with our own time, and your new routine to really create clarity, through, through these habits so thank you so much. Can you share with us, where we can find you, where we can follow you and how we can support your business?



WEBSITE + SHOP | www.batchbeautylab.com

10% OFF use the code EMPOWERMENT10

INSTAGRAM | @the.alexandra.marie @batchbeautylab



RAPID FIRE ROUND

1. What are you currently reading? What’s your favourite book?

How to WIn Friends and Influence People

The Story of Steve Jobs



2. What do you love most about being a woman?

I love, that's a really great question. There's so many things, It's like how do you choose. I was, I What came to mind is just I love how openly emotional I am but I don't know if that's exclusive to being a woman, but I think that there are a lot of times where women find themselves in situations where they're like, Oh, they're not taking me seriously or, I'm being told I'm too emotional, but that's happened to me, and I embrace it, it is who I am and that is what makes me authentically me, and it's what it's what adds character to my life into my story and, and I'm proud of that.



3. What does empowerment mean to you?

Really great question. What comes to mind is being empowered means being confident in what you're doing and feeling supported by people around you, or even yourself, and showing up for yourself, empowering yourself, you know, having a willingness to learn, Having a beginner's mindset is super super important to empowering yourself to achieve things that you thought you couldn't do, or to, you know, show up in the world as somebody who you want to show up as an being that human that's making a positive social impact in the lives of others around you. And so empowerment to me really means taking the power back from external factors, and moving forward confidently and fearlessly in your beliefs to achieve, you know, what's important to you.



4. What are you currently working toward?

So many things. I have a laundry list, okay, of aspirations, but something I think is really, that's really important worth noting is. I like, like you mentioned, I'm really, really passionate about helping others achieve, confidence, and she their business goals and their dreams. And so something that I'm currently working on in batch beauty lab is creating a program where I could be just the business in general is going to help young entrepreneurs kickstart their businesses as well and that's something that's really important to me. And over the next few months, keep an eye out because there will be a program that's rolling out, that has to do with creating positive social impact within the community, but also helping young entrepreneurs achieve their goals.



VL: Okay, you feel like world domination is maxed out so incredible. Well, Alex, thank you so much again for being on the show is an absolute pleasure to speak with you always, and I want to acknowledge you for one taking the time to speak with me today and to for all of the incredible work that you're doing. You have impacted my life positively and I know that you're changing so many people's lives so many people's businesses. It's really cool to to see all of the kind of facets of what you do and your skill set and your talents, and how they, they really do support people and, and women and I'm so excited to see all of the rest of the things that you create, and you share with everyone. So thank you again and I really appreciate everything you've done. 



AP: Thank you! Oh this is so fun and fun fact this is actually my first podcast, so thank you for having me. And I'm really excited for what's to come, and as always I'll be following your journey and your daily habits and I look forward to what's to company to.

 

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E132: Behind-The-Scenes: My Monthly Accountability Meeting
 
 

E132: Behind-The-Scenes: My Monthly Accountability Meeting

This is my new and improved solo date I have every month. I share what I track, questions I ask, and how I take action on my goals, plus a few more key pieces…


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[3:22] Welcome back to the women’s empowerment podcast! If you are a long-time listener of the show, you might remember an episode I did way back in the beginning days of the live version of the podcast it was Episode 25: Steal My Monthly Accountability Meeting

This episode is an oldie, but a goodie! And I still practice the Monthly Accountability Meeting that I share, however it has evolved in the last couple years so I thought I’d revisit this topic with you and take you behind the scenes into my new and improved version of the Monthly Accountability Meeting.

First, allow me to explain what this is exactly: It’s a solo meeting I have with myself every first of the month where I review different parts of my business, track specific items, set goals for the month ahead, and gain a better understanding of where I am as it relates to my goals, my well-being, etc. 

Most of my accountability meetings ask the same questions, or track similar items, however there is flexibility in what we want to ask or track depending on what our goals are. I think it’s important to set big goals for the year and break them down into quarterly and monthly goals, and then get even more specific with some daily or weekly habits to get us there. 

Knowing the big-picture goals will help us have more clarity on what our smaller goals and habits can be to support us reaching the larger goal. 

My web designer and friend, Chantelle and I recently chatted on the podcast about habits for intentional entrepreneurs and we also did an Instagram Live together breaking down more specific habits and how we can layer them.

Episode 129: Habits for Intentional Entrepreneurs with Chantelle Andercastle

IGTV: @vallavignelife Layering Habits with Chantelle @clearquartzcreative

Through today’s episode I’ll take you behind the scenes and share my exact accountability meeting, however I want to encourage you to create your own version of the meeting based on your specific goals.

You can also customize your accountability meeting by including different sections to support separate goals. For example Business, Health, Relationships, etc. My advice for this would be, try not to make it TOO long because it can take a lot of time and you’ll be less likely to complete it.

I like to pull an oracle card at the end of my meeting, as a message for the month ahead. A little spiritual touch/guidance. You can add your own personal touches with specific essential oils, your favourite playlist, perhaps like Chantelle you bring in your crystals, or maybe pour an oat milk latte before you get started. 

You do you boo.

[9:18] I like to have a digital copy of my accountability meeting, and you can too. Or you can dedicate a special journal to logging your stats and goals each month.


To begin, write your annual and quarterly goals on the first page.


Accountability Meetings 2021

Annual Goal:

Quarterly Goals

Q1:

Q2:

Q3:

Q4:


On the next page, take some time to journal what the next three to twelve months looks like, feels like, sounds like, tastes like, even smells like. Write this piece in the present or past tense, as if you already reached these goals. You can free-write for as long as you like (5-10 minutes is suggested), and get as detailed as possible. You can do the journal piece every three months, or just once for the year; that will be up to you!


If you need some prompts to get you started try these:

  1. When I reached my ___(quarter 1/2/3/4 or annual goal)___ I felt…

  2. The people who helped me achieve my goals were… 

  3. I reached these goals when I believed ______ about myself and…

  4. An obstacle I had to overcome was… I did this by…

  5. I am celebrating my success this (quarter/year) with…

  6. Anything else I needed to share…

[12:23] The next page will be your first month. This podcast episode is being published in June, which I know isn’t the start of the year, but it doesn’t matter WHEN you start the Accountability Meeting, what matters is that you start! Let’s use May/June as our example.


The title of this page will be the previous month and the year we’re in: MAY 2021

We start with what we’re tracking. Here’s what I am tracking in my business:

Sales calls booked, cancelled, and converted

Time spent on business tasks

Days taken completely off

Times I went out of my comfort zone

Profit + loss on a Monthly Basis

Where my leads are coming from 

Social media outreach, engagement, ROI

Podcast stats for the month and all time


What I’m most proud of

Goals for [next month] June (How I want to feel, How much month I want to attract, anything else)


Card for the month ahead:


When you’re considering which items to track or questions to ask, always ask yourself WHY you’re tracking this. Only relevant items need to be tracked. 


So before you head over to the show notes page and copy my tracking list, which is fine if you want to track the same things, but make sure they are relevant to your business goals. I cannot stress this enough! If you don’t have your own podcast, however you want to be a guest on podcasts this year, I would suggest writing in your goals a list of 10 different shows and reach out to each of them that month, and then track which ones you were able to get on. Each month keep adding to that list of shows you want to be on and grow from there. 


As another example, if the goal is to buy a house it would make sense for us to track our spending, and savings, but tracking the times we went out of our comfort zone might not relate.


If your goal is to finish building your van so you can travel around the country, you could track “time spent on van tasks” and break that down into different parts of the van project. This will help you understand where your strengths are and where you might need more support. However you wouldn’t be tracking which instagram posts or podcast episodes did the best. 


Perhaps your goal is to live a healthier lifestyle and you want to eat healthier and be more active. If this is the goal, you can track your workout and recovery days, the types of workouts that made you feel the best. I also find it helpful to take weekly photos of my body to see what specific muscle groups are improving and which ones could use a little more push. It’s also a great way to track progress. 


Always keep in mind that what gets measured is what gets moved. Meaning if you want something to change or transform or grow, measure that.


[19:29] If you’re just starting out you can also adjust your questions as you go. You might start with tracking 10 items and realize that the first 7 are the most relevant. You might track those 7 items for quarter one, but track 5 different items in quarter two. It all depends on your specific goals. 


Allow yourself the flexibility, and each month you can ask if these items or questions are still relevant to your goals. I also like to ask myself if there is something that hasn’t been said or tracked or noted?


Having the goals for the next month is also a great part of the process to see what you’re excited about and any other important pieces that we could take into consideration.


After we’ve filled in the tracking stats and answered the questions, we will have a better understanding of what’s working and what isn’t.


The last step in the Monthly Accountability is to write down 3-5 action steps to take next. To do this, look at your goals for the month ahead, based on these goals what do you have to do? Who do you have to be to reach this goal?


If you have a goal to read 10 pages a day of a personal development book, you can schedule time in your calendar every day to read. Have the book ready, and you can even set a daily alarm to remind you that now is the time to read 10 pages. 


For the podcast episodes the action step is to email your media kit to each of the podcasts on your list. Then set a date to follow up with the recipients one-two weeks later if you haven’t heard from them yet. 


Taking relevant action is going to move us forward toward our goals.


For the following months, continue the Accountability Meeting as we discussed, and remember to look back on the month before and see which of the goals and action steps we took. If we took action, how did it go? What results did we have? If we didn’t take action, or didn’t reach our monthly goals, how could we improve or adjust them?

Please share your progress with me, I love seeing your work and cheering you on! You can find me on instagram @vallavignelife and send me a DM or pop into the comments so we can continue today’s conversation!

 

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E131: How to Incorporate Mindfulness Daily with Sarah Sturino
 
 

E131: How to Incorporate Mindfulness Daily with Sarah Sturino

Learn about the nine pillars of mindfulness and how to start incorporating them into your daily practice to live a more mindful and heart-centred life, featuring special guest, Sarah Sturino…


Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.

Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.

Leave a review on Apple Podcasts


[1:11] Valerie LaVigne: Welcome back to The Women's Empowerment Podcast. Today I have a very special guest Sarah Sturino. Sarah is a woman, mother and daughter, friend, teacher, Pilates instructor Reiki practitioner and mindfulness facilitator, her whole life has been a wellness journey. All the work she does with others stems from her own self healing and her fundamental belief that we all must operate out of love, rather than fear. Sara is an outspoken introvert, a beauty seeker, and anxiety queen in recovery, a lover of crystals and essential oils and movement junkie and a lifelong learner. Oh my goodness gracious, I feel like you wear all the hats, and I love that that bio ended with lifelong learner because I'm looking at all of the things you do and I'm thinking, Well, she must have taken every course, ever.



Sarah Sturino: We do love to learn and take courses, I think I could have been one of those like students for sure.



VL: Absolutely, and I find as a, as a teacher and instructor myself, I find that, You know, there's always an opportunity to learn more, and it's not just from the courses but also from the people that we work with, and our students and our clients and all that good stuff so Sarah and I actually met at a was like a little photo shoot party thing was really random was kind of like a serendipitous thing on my end anyway. And we didn't know each other and I remember like, when I first saw Sarah I was very intimidated.



She's very, you have this like, incredible presence that's a fairy, it's your you have like a very confident presence of very you're very sure of yourself, but you can see how when you're, when you're, when you're holding space in a room, you're also very aware of other people's energy so right away I knew that you are very much an empath but you had really good boundaries with your energy and whose energy you were going to hold spacebar, and I was like, Whoa, this is someone who I don't know, you just, it was like fascinating because it was like I wanted to get to know you, but I was also a little nervous.



SS: That's very funny actually to me and interesting because I think once people know me I'm anything but intimidating, but I often, I often hear that.



And I would love to be able to view myself from somebody else's eyes because I think what some of that is, is some of that is, is some walls that I put up, right, that is maybe because of past hurts, and even the boundaries thing I'm not sure my boundaries were that great back when I met you or I guess we're always developing them them lifelong.



Yeah, I've always been very aware of the energy in the room and gravitated towards certain people and kind of almost shied away from others, so we definitely gravitated towards one another that day and, yeah, you're right.



VL: Yeah, exactly. And I was gonna say to you I mean, now that I've gotten to know you over the years, I think I kind of was like, oh my god I can't believe I thought she was so intimidating before because you're actually very wonderful to talk to, you're very, now I feel like you're really approachable and, I mean we've had so many deep conversations that I always think after I leave the conversation at the end like Darren, who should have recorded this for the podcast so it's really a pleasure to have you on the show today it's definitely, it's definitely been an overdue interview. And today we we've actually decided that, out of all the things we'd love to talk about because I'm sure we could talk about oils and crystals, and pilates and all the other things. but what we're really focusing on today is mindfulness, and you said it before, and I'm sure you'll, you'll mention it again but mindfulness is really a huge pillar and a huge part of everything else you do so, why don't we start with what is mindfulness.



SS: Sure, well I think to make it as uncomplicated as possible really all it is is being in the present moment, without judgment, without judgment of others with their judgement of yourself, which is probably the one most of us struggle more with is the self judgment. So, I mean there are a million different definitions out there but I think that is the best, most simple one but it is being in the present moment, without, without judgment.



We get into some of the pillars of mindfulness and some of that but that is a really good definition not to live in the past not to live in the future. And just to be here in this day and moment.



VL: And I think that's the best way to explain it is, it is really much earlier so much about being present, but that's not always easy.



SS: It's not easy at all.



And even when you're a mindfulness coach or mindfulness facilitator, you find yourself not in the present moment, at times.



VL: So, so often.



[6:39] SS: I think one of the, this is where some of my other trends come in because one of the best methods for me personally for getting myself into the present moment is movement and breath, and those can be connected or not connected. So whether I'm breathing through my Pilates practice or yoga class, or whether I'm just pausing and doing some type of breath work those for me and for many, are two of the ways that you can definitely return to the present moment, and with the movement piece, even if it's not feasible in that moment or in that date to squeeze in a yoga or pilates practices, perhaps, dancing around the kitchen, even just shaking the body balancing the body in different ways, moves the energy around and shakes up the brain and puts you back into the present.



VL: Yes, exactly. I think movement is well for me, I would say it was, it would be a pillar of mindfulness is that one of the pillars of mindfulness, I feel like there's a specific pillar here. 



SS: No, it's not one of the pillars of mindfulness, but I think it's one of the ways that we achieve the pillars, mindfulness, the pillars of mindfulness come from one of the fathers of mindfulness, which is Jon Kabat Zinn and he is one of the goddesses who kind of brought it out, what is woven into the Western world.



According to him, and I would abide by this the nine pillars are 

  1. Non-judging

  2. Acceptance

  3. Patience

  4. Beginner’s Mind

  5. Trust

  6. Non-Striving

  7. Letting Go

  8. Gratitude

  9. Generosity



In general, and some kind of mingling of those nine things in your life will lead you to truly mindful practice mindful existence.




VL: Well those are actually pretty new to me, I don't think I've ever heard of those nine pillars before but I can definitely see how they tie into mindful, I want to say a mindful lifestyle a mindful human mindful approach to life, I suppose, yeah definitely a mindful approach to life. I really liked that. So, okay, maybe we can break it down a little bit more because I know I've said this before but and I know you've listened to several of the podcast episodes but the show was really about having the tangible, practical tactical tools and methods that we can really take into action because really the only way we're gonna change the only way for transformation, the only way we're really going to have this approach is if we take action so we jump into some of the ways to, to use mindfulness or to incorporate mindfulness into our lives. 



SS: Definitely. What I'd love to do is to take you and your our listeners through a little mindfulness practice if that's okay with you. Yes, that would be great. Okay, so let me explain where this mindfulness practice comes from one of the places that I am facilitated with three certified as mindfulness illustrators through an organization called mindfulness without borders.



As the title alludes to they are all over the world, and they're really trying to offer mindfulness to people of all religions, all cultures, make it very accessible to people so I chose to become certified as a facilitator of their Youth Ambassadors Program. Although it's a youth program I've also delivered it with adults and it works extremely well, that I do a lot of work with. So, within their programs all of their programs. They have a breeding practice that they call to them to you that, and the reason why they call it the practice to them. It was named by one of their ambassadors, one of their mindfulness investors in Rwanda, and in that language to them refers to the idea of slowing down before reacting.



As the title alludes to they are all over the world, and they're really trying to offer mindfulness to people of all religions, all cultures, make it very accessible to people so I chose to become certified as a facilitator of their Youth Ambassadors Program. Although it's a youth program I've also delivered it with adults and it works extremely well, that I do a lot of work with. So, within their programs all of their programs. They have a breeding practice that they call to them to you that, and the reason why they call it the practice to them. It was named by one of their ambassadors, one of their mindfulness investors in Rwanda, and in that language to them refers to the idea of slowing down before reacting.



So it's the idea that if you do this free breathing practice, you're creating space between your emotion and your reaction, kind of anchor.



So I can take you through a brief TUZA, and then I can also tell you and your listeners where you can access different voices taking you through something very similar to them.



VL: Yes, that would be amazing



[12:24] SS: Okay, so, Val and listeners let's get ready. You're just gonna sit in uncomfortable positions. You can lie down, you prefer, that is fine. And I'd like you to allow both, both of your feet to connect or



rest your hands on your thigh, palms up, if you want to invite new energy in and palms down if you feel like you need to ground yourself and just let your shoulders. Slowly move away from your fingers gently close your eyes. If that's comfortable for you, or find a reference point on the floor, where you can return your eyes that you get your arm.



rest your hands on your thigh, palms up, if you want to invite new energy in and palms down if you feel like you need to ground yourself and just let your shoulders. Slowly move away from your fingers gently close your eyes. If that's comfortable for you, or find a reference point on the floor, where you can return your eyes that you get your arm.



Don't judge the feeling.



Now bring your attention to the flow of your breath.



I'm not going to ask you to breathe in any special way, simply notice each breath coming into the body with an in breath and leaving the body has been out breath.



I'm not going to ask you to breathe in any special way, simply notice each breath coming into the body with an in breath and leaving the body has been out breath.



Do not judge your personal experience with it. Be kind and compassionate to how you are feeling in the moment, allowing each inhale to be a new beginning. and each exhale to be a letting go.



Allow each inhale to bring new energy in, and each exhale. Select by taking one more breath. When you're ready. Slowly bring your attention back to your surrounding perhaps introduce some movement to the body a little stretch.



And let how you feel now, guide you through the rest of the day, and I'm going to ask you as I would if I was facilitating this in the group. How do you feel now?



[14:36] VL: I feel, definitely calmer and more grounded. I didn't realize how tired I was like I was breathing in then yawning a bunch of times.



And, but then, this is kind of an aside but sometimes when I go into meditation or I do Reiki on someone else, or even myself whenever I go into like a spiritual place I think beyond a lot and it's not always because I'm tired it's like this is like the way that I connect to her spiritual energy. So maybe that was happening, or maybe a combination of both.



Also, I rarely when I'm sitting down on a chair, or the sofa or whatever, I rarely put my feet on the ground. And this is something that someone else has brought to my attention recently too.



So, this is, I feel like I need this so much right now and I'm sure people listening will also agree with how much like grounding and just mindfulness and being present, noticing the breath, because I think as we start to notice our breath, we also start to notice that we're holding our breath, or we're not taking deep breaths.



But yeah, that was lovely. And that was only like a minute or two, it was so easy to do.



SS: Yeah, and that I think is the key is that it doesn't need I think the word meditation can be intimidating to people. Whereas, just something as simple as closing your eyes, sitting with feet on the ground, and doing it. The breath is a mindfulness practice. It doesn't have to go deeper into becoming an actual meditation. It certainly can. Eventually, but that we can still get a results with just that two minutes.



Really what is breath and inner, inner focus is, is I think what makes it very accessible for people.



VL: Yeah, you know what I think meditation can be very intimidating because there's a lot of different types of meditation. I really like how accessible you've kind of demonstrated that mindfulness practice to be. And, I mean it's as simple as putting your feet on the ground and noticing your breath, well you could do that anywhere, right. We could do that when were at the grocery store, we could do that when we're getting out of our car from driving, we just put our feet on the ground, take a breath and then that's our transition to the next place or the next thing that we're doing so.



It's simple, and it's one of those things where, you know the work or the transformation that we talked about earlier comes when we just do the work and we repeat it over time.



Well, as you know I love chatting about habits. I feel like we could make this a habit, but could we maybe go through a couple more maybe examples it doesn't have to be a mindfulness, quote unquote meditation or anything or mindfulness practice but maybe some other things that we could do, and incorporate into our lifestyle.



SS: Sure, I actually when I hold my group I actually talk about developing mindful daily habit. And the reason why the word habit, I guess, is so important, is I'm just going to delve into a little bit here. I'm currently taking a program at McMaster University called mindfulness and modern thought. and it's a series of five courses and of course I'm presently taking it's about the neuroscience behind COVID, which is fascinating to explore doing studies where they're taking MRIs of people's brains before doing an eight week mindfulness program and after and seeing many changes in the brain matter of the brain, left brain matter in that fight or flight part of the brain more gray matter in the logic, reasoning part of the brain, these are all things we want to see. That's, to me it's like scientific proof that eight weeks of a habit, creates actual biological change in the brain, a crazy, like, I love that they can actually prove that out with the technology.



So to give you an example of a mindful daily habit, this is something that happened to me recently, is my dishwasher broke, and of course, my immediate reaction was, oh this is not good and it's it's terrible and. And then I thought, like, the first time I was washing dishes in ages, how mindful practice them dancing, rounded down the ground, not thinking about anything else, not judging the situation or thinking how angry I am that dishwasher is broken and I might have to pay money to have it, but just being in that moment, I haven't met my family, my Washington petition is a quiet moment for don't have to do anything else I can breathe while I'm doing it. It made me so much less resentful of the broken, dishwasher, so adding any kind of daily habit. 



Another thing that I've personally done is put a little form kind of mantra thing on my mirror in my bathroom, so that I remember to be mindful while I'm brushing my teeth because again something we do every day, probably more than once or twice a day, and just standing there, you know on the ground, a moment to be mindful to let the brain go kind of into a void space or a blank slate, and breathe.



VL: Oh, my goodness, you're, you're hitting the nail on the head today I want to brush my teeth I'm like okay these are all the things I have to do tomorrow, when I'm doing the dishes, I'm like oh my god okay so now I have to do this which make this meal.



So I feeling called out, which I find a lot of guests are doing to me like I think I need, I think I need this more than anyone else today.



SS: But I think we all do it though we all fit and the more, the more, the more we do the mindful part, the less likely we are to go back there, just like anything else when we start any new habit of constantly talking about habit. Yes. Yeah, so that it becomes more habitual and more of a regular part of your routine, and the mindful moments come more naturally, sometimes I encourage my clients that little alarm in their phone with mindful moments when they're first learning this because, let's face it the day is busy for most people crazy and they need to, you know, then that little reminder was, okay, I'm gonna stop and breathe until it become more natural, and even for myself at times when things are really crazy.



VL: 



[24:40] SS:I think everything everybody ebbs and flows practice like this, that's important with the non judgement people to know that we all ebb and flow I would like to think even the most mindful people like the Dalai Lama or Buddha probably.



VL: Yeah that's a great point to make, and I think a lot of what you're saying to has, has a lot to do with habit triggers, which we talk about on the show as well which basically are the cues or the, the if this happens then then so if we're doing the dishes, then we become more mindful if we're brushing our teeth and we become more mindful, and it really does as someone who has practiced mindfulness myself, it really does become more automatic or that habitual routine, and you're, you find yourself sometimes so like, you've probably experienced this before when you're driving to work, is driven to work so many times countless times, that you'll be in the middle of your drive and be like, Oh my God, how did I get here, because you're so not present in the moment, whereas the opposite can also happen when you do become more mindful and you do create a more mindful routine is that you find yourself really in the present moment really enjoying something really just being there with kind of nothingness. I remember going when Craig and I first started dating. 



We went on a walk in nature, and at the time, I was really working on mindfulness I was practicing yoga every day I was meditating, I was like kind of dating myself really. And then I started dating Craig, we went into the forest and he was talking to you talking and I said, just listen, just listen to the - it's first second date, whatever it was, we're a little bit nervous with each other so you want to kind of, there's no, there's no space for that awkward silence when you're talking bass I just listened to the wind through the trees. Do you hear that, and it was like an eye opening experience for him because he hadn't taken the time to notice that. And so now when we go for hikes or walks or whatever, he'll stop me now so you'd listen, listen to the trees, and you could hear the wind blowing through the leaves and it's like that one moment of being able to say, okay, I can hear this nature sound or I can see, you know this tree in front of me and when you're really taking a look at what you're seeing I mean maybe it's not in nature but something else and really, you know, just being there and not thinking about the past or thinking about the future, it's pretty it's pretty incredible and then you'll do it more and more that it carries you throughout your day and yeah it's a really cool. It's a really cool feeling but it's definitely not the easiest to go from high energy, high anxiety and then flip the switch to mindfulness, so we have our kind of guided mindfulness practice, we've got our habit triggers of one we can get into mindfulness, are there any other I know you've talked about breath and movement, are there any other things, or ways we can incorporate this into our life.



SS: so I think that you mentioned one which is kind of neat a little light bulb go off in my head which is nature here so nature deprive yourself so you know in North American society I think in general. I know that in here as authors write actual prescriptions for report is a prescription for their patients to go into the forest, spend time with nature, and I actually think that that's one of the ways if I really think back, it was either my movement practices or nature that first drew me to mindfulness is a very good way. Even if you do a five minute walk outside in your neighborhood and it's a silent block you're not listening to music you're not listening to podcasts, you're not chatting with somebody, the very good way to practice mindful, being in nature and outdoors. I also feel that we need to practice it back in, all of us the ability to be mindful, we were all those little tiny kids babies that are just naturally mindful and we lost it for the hustle and bustle of life. So, just like any or practice makes perfect, we don't do a breathing practice once or a guided meditation once and I was struck with the whole time. I kept in meditation, this isn't for me. Just like we wouldn't go to the gym and lift weights and expect to look like. Whoever Arnold Schwarzenegger. The next day, we you know we practice and cultivate a practice in our lives. That's important, I think we're true trying different things. Maybe for you it's not movement. Maybe for you it's not nature, maybe it's breath. Maybe it is the daily tasks that you're doing anyway. I'd like to talk about something that you do every day that I know you do because I've seen it on some of your Instagram posts and things but it's a great example of something that takes like, probably 10 seconds or or more, I don't know, probably not very long, and is a perfect mindful practice what you do with your coffee every morning, or your tea, whatever it is that you're drinking I'll let you explain it but that's a prime example of a daily mindful habit that takes a little time.



VL: Yes, you're right, I completely forgot about it. So every morning when I'm making my, it's usually coffee but sometimes the green juice or a tea.



I start in my intention for the day. And it's become a bit of a ritual and I can't remember when I started doing this, it wasn't too long ago I want to say December or January anyway, it was a few months ago, I would say, but it's made a huge difference in my life.



And when I don't do it because sometimes I don't make the coffee right away, or I will, Like, I'll make a green juice sometimes I usually shake that and I don't stir it so it's not as like a slow process, I kind of like shake it quickly and drink it. So when I if I don't do it, I noticed the difference as well. But essentially what I do is I pour the coffee like Nespresso so I dropped the espresso shot and I stir in like a couple little extra things like cinnamon and collagen powder. So as I'm doing that actually stir the coffee counter clockwise, and I do this because I want to let go of, you know whether it was like a bad sleep I had or like a crappy week, anything from yesterday, anything from this morning that threw me off already got over the wrong side of the bed, whatever. So I started that a couple times, until everything's blended in. And then I add my old milk because I like old milk lattes. And once the old milk is in I stir it clockwise, three times and as I stir in Word so clockwise to me is like, when I think about how I want to feel that day, and it's usually just a word, today I wanted to feel centered and steady, so like it was, I have a really busy day I'm on the move today. And I just wanted to make sure that like I really was present because I have a lot of driving and I know that sometimes when I'm scattered in my brain, I'm driving like bad things can happen right so I just wanted that to be my intention for today specifically. And then after I stir that in three times, I make a Pentagon or a star shape in the coffee to kind of feel it, that's my little ritual.

And I always like the spoon. I know that sounds silly, but I always like the spoon and then as I'm drinking the coffee is when I'm reminded of like okay I'm drinking that intention now it's going into my body. This in the coffee you can say like, oh yeah coffee feels feels you the caffeine whatever but it's really the intention that I'm kind of drinking in.



And you're right, it has totally become a mindful practice I think about it all day, and I, if I don't feel that steady or centered. I take a breath, I take a moment to reconnect to the intention that I've set. So, that's, that's the goal. That's the goal should be all of it. 



[29:49] SS: You just made that sound so fantastic and like juicy that I think I’m going to start to.



But that is a beautiful example of something that takes less than a minute, but can be a mindful, start to your day and imagine, even if you know for anyone who's listening out there if you just start with.



Pick something that takes 30 seconds to a minute for the beginning of your day, such as Valerie just described, and something that takes 30 seconds to a minute at the end of your day, perhaps, you know, closing the bathroom door, and breathing while you brush your teeth, even just those tiny little changes will calm you round you and physiologically change your brain.



VL: I love that I love that it's, You know it sounds a little woowoo like I'm stirring a word into my coffee. I'm thinking of the word I'm going to bed with the intention of having a good sleep or whatever it is, but you're right there really is a lot more research, a lot more scientific evidence proving the positive effects of something that is so simple. And the way that I like to look at it is that, you know, it's not that hard to do. It's not it doesn't cost any extra money to try this. It doesn't have any negative side effects, why wouldn't you try it. Why wouldn't you like prove at this point prove us wrong, you know what I mean prove me wrong and tell me it doesn't work.



SS:  Very good point. Very good point. One of the sayings, I like to use is that your biography is your biology. So, by introducing these little practices into your life story, your biography, you're only improving your health improving your, you know, aging potential to the ability to age well to keep the brain active as you age, all, all of that stuff I don't know if you're familiar with the term neuroplasticity.



VL: Yes, I’ve heard of this before. 



SS: So neural plasticity is the idea, and not to age myself but I did my psychology degree. Whoa. A long time ago, probably about 45 years ago now. So, the idea of neural plasticity, really wasn't there when I did my psychology degree this is that knew of science, the idea that the brain constantly changes and grows. It's not like you reach a certain age, which we'll reach we really used to think of a psychology world you reach a certain age and for a while, you can't learn a new language now you can't do this now know that brain is constantly changing and developing at a rate that low scientists mine. And this is why you can rehab people who kind of stroke, this why things like that, so.



Yeah, it's very new science to prove that right into late late adulthood right into senior years, The brain has the ability to form new connections, new fire new neurons, and, and learn new things. So even if you're, you know, 70 years old, listening to this, you can start a mindful practice and affect affect change for your remaining years.



VL: That's excellent. That's an excellent reminder for a lot of people because my grandma is 85 This year I think it's 86 Anyway, she's an old bird. And she always says I'm too old to learn that I'm too old to do that I'm too old and I keep saying no you're not, and she loves reading, but for whatever reason she wasn't able to get like books all the time, like hard hardcopy books. So, or she, I don't know, she has like a book club with her niece. Anyway, that's beside the point. She wasn't able to get all the books that we thought she's going to she's reading so many books so quickly, let's just get her Kindle, where she can just store all these books she's have to pass the books back and forth with her niece who lives like too far away. So let's get her Kindle so when we first got it for her. She's like, Oh my God, no, I can't learn this, this is a, I don't know how to use this machine is she doesn't even have a cell phone or anything right. So we showed her how to use it and we explained that, you know you can have 100 books on this one little tablet, and it's so light and you can travel with it and all these things. And, yeah, she uses it now, and you can't tell me that, You know she, I mean, she definitely had to. She definitely had to learn a couple of years skill they need someone who's never used a tablet or cell phone, you know, things like that smartphone anything like that. So, but she knows how to use it now and she loves it. She's always like, I mean we put the stories on for her, but she can flip the pages and pick the book and, yeah.



[34:36] SS: And what is that hesitation when it's whether it's an 85 year old or a 25 year old that's hesitation on Oh, I can't do that, let's label that what is that, that to me is it's fear. Right. And fear is within all of our brains, we may not only live in fear but it's fear and anxiety. And I think as somebody who suffered from I suffered from terrible anxiety as a person, mindfulness, helped me more than any other method treatment, whatever you want to call that, because it eradicated the fear part for me. And here's how many if there's anybody listening who's had cognitive behavioral therapy for anxiety, which is one of the most common sort of treatments for people who are an anxious or depressed.



And this is not to at all negate that practice or say it has no worth absolutely not different things work for different people. But for me personally what I struggled with was with that was that it's asking you to change yourself.



So it's asking you to say, instead of saying, I'm scared of learning something new. I'm not scared of something new but that felt inauthentic to me because I was still scared.



So or still fearful or anxious or whatever, however you want to label it. The reason why mindfulness is so helpful, is because it. I'm scared of learning something new, but that's okay.



It's okay to feel that way. And it doesn't mean that I can't learn. It doesn't mean that I can't sit with this uncomfortableness and push through and push practice. And that is one of, to me the key reasons why I see mindfulness working for myself and for many of the people that I work with, it's that expression of the feeling, or the thought that isn't functional or the most positive. It's not about always ponies and rainbows and unicorns, I like to say it's about even acknowledging the icky thoughts that we all are being honest.



VL: That is an amazing point 1,000% agree it's, you know, it's being able to say like, it's okay that I'm afraid, and it's okay to take the risk and it's okay to try something new to do something new, and I mean this is a whole other topic in itself in itself about getting out of your comfort zone and, you know, embracing the fear and doing it anyway and whatever it is, is that similar to mindfulness and to weight training, you're building, you're building your muscles you're building your mindfulness muscle you're building your courage muscle you're building your actual physical muscles, because all of these things take practice and as I mentioned before, the more you do it the better you get at it.



So it really starts with deciding or trying and choosing where do you want to start, what's the best place for you is it the tooth brushing is it the storing it into your coffee is it the movement practice.



Yeah, I think you've given a ton of amazing examples today and I know that you teach a lot of this because we could probably talk about this for a whole series of episodes about mindfulness, I mean, I feel like we could talk about each of the pillars in one episode, for sure.



But you teach a lot of this in a few of your offerings so could you share a little bit more about your retreats your programs?



[38:17] SS: Sure, I can run you when Wellness Week them or retreat for, I don't even know probably about five years now, and typically three to for a year like one every season, pretty much, obviously that's been interrupted a little bit by the current situation, but we've got, we've got some coming up. And the purpose of these gatherings, is to bring women together because I believe when women come together it's a powerful thing. I believe we learn from each other we feed off of each other's energy.



It's powerful, it goes back to ancient times, women gathering and circle. And there's a blend of everything, it's a very holistic weekend so there's always yoga and Pilates classes offered. There's always outdoor components, such as hiking, or snowshoeing, there's always healthy food for the weekend, often vegan or vegetarian, I'm not vegan or vegetarian but I do like to eat that way. Sometimes, and I can activate experiments with people to do for the weekend, and all of my retreats differently. We put different presenters at different retreat with everything from card readers, and the retreat I have to 2021, fingers crossed, is really the theme of that retreat is what we were just talking about going outside your comfort zone.



Something that I recently did that was completely out of my comfort zone was. Try the Wim Hof Method. I will admit that I was drawn in by the goop lab episode on Netflix and curious and started with my partner looking up this would be cool to do and sure enough, there were retreats locally that we could go to workshops rather locally that we go to to try this Wim Hof Method. So, the Wim Hof Method has itself, three sort of pillars or ideas behind it, which are one of them is mindful. One of them is to be in the right mindset and to be very mindful in the present moment, and the other two are breathwork and cold exposure. So the part that was out of my comfort zone was the cold exposure fun worshiping Mediterranean girl over here. Who would like to live barefoot in a bikini her whole life.



The idea of cold exposure which in the context of this workshop with getting into an ice bath for two minutes and 30 seconds was terrifying. And even as the day of the workshop approached, I was thinking for all these reasons why I could maybe cancel or not show up. However I did show up, I did go into the ice bath for two minutes and 30 seconds.



The idea of cold exposure which in the context of this workshop we're getting into an ice bath for two minutes and 30 seconds was terrifying. And even on the day of the workshop, approach, I was thinking for all these reasons why I could maybe cancel or not show up. However I did show up, I did go into the ice bath for two minutes and 30 seconds.



The idea of cold exposure which in the context of this workshop we're getting into an ice bath for two minutes and 30 seconds was terrifying. And even on the day of the workshop, approach, I was thinking for all these reasons why I could maybe cancel or not show up. However I did show up, I did go into the ice bath for two minutes and 30 seconds.



VL: WOW! I mean I've tried types of cold therapy before, but by that I mean that crazy walk we did in the freezing cold winter. And then I remember like when we were kids we used to go to our friend's hot tub in the winter and then it was like, Okay, I dare you to go jump out in the snow roll around and come back.



Those kinds of things, but I don't think I would have ever. Well maybe you can convince me to go into an ice bath for two and a half minutes like part of me is very curious and then the other part of me is screaming right away. 



SS: Right and I think once you experience the lead up to it, and the mindset work in the policy breathwork that you're taught, there's almost no doubt in your mind that you're getting in that tub and I asked, Ashley, the facilitator. People must like to get 10 people signed up for a workshop, how many actually get in yet, but never had anyone in the years of doing this, don't get in and I can see that now that I've done it because you're just so pumped up to do it and I guess there's a little bit of the tribe mentality going on there too, that you just do, and it is that ultimate I think going out of your way out of your comfort zone.



Right and I think once you experience the lead up to it, and the mindset work in the policy breathwork that you're taught, there's almost no doubt in your mind that you're getting in that tub and I asked, Ashley, the facilitator. People must like to get 10 people signed up for a workshop, how many actually get in yet, but never had anyone in the years of doing this, don't get in and I can see that now that I've done it because you're just so pumped up to do it and I guess there's a little bit of the tribe mentality going on there too, that you just do, and it is that ultimate I think going out of your way out of your comfort zone.



[43:53] VL: That's so incredible, I would definitely want to try it, because I'm thinking of how I would react in that group mentality and I'm like no I can't be the only one who doesn’t do it.



First, I like, I have to go first I have to go first. I can't watch other people do this. And then, you know, you'll be getting more and more nervous, but just if I'm doing it I'm going for. 



VL:  So amazing. Well, Sarah. This has been so much fun, like I said, I feel like we could do a whole series on this, and I'm sure that you'll be back on the show again soon, but let us know where we can find you today where we can follow you and how we can support your business.



SS:  in addition to the junior retreats, I'm currently offering one on one mindfulness sessions, and also in summer 2021 I will be offering a teen mindfulness program, and information about any of those things can be found on my Instagram, or my websites.



WEBSITE | www.sarahsturino.com

INSTAGRAM | @sssturino 



RAPID FIRE

1. What are you currently reading? OR What’s your favourite book?

Becoming Supernatural by Dr. Joe Dispenza

Future Witches




2. What do you love most about being a woman?



I think if I think back, my son is 17 Almost. What I love most about being a woman was that feeling of growing a human and being so there is never a time when I was more in touch with energy and with how much we are animals right it's such an animal experience to give birth to grow human to have milk. So just that our bodies do that is incredible and miraculous and beautiful and then the fact that we didn't stretch marks laughter and hate is, we need to change the culture needs lippett Like are you proud of those stretch marks grew that 6ft3’ boy!




3. What does “empowerment” mean to you?



I think I would say empowerment means finding your voice, and using it. But I would also say, it means to thrive, not just survive I think that there were some years where I was just surviving and not thriving. And my wish for everyone is that they have very few of those. And more of the Thrive.




4. What are you currently working toward?



Many things probably too many things I feel like I confuse the universe by manifesting too many things at once. So, I will share that I am working towards having my own but that's one of the things that I'm currently manifesting and not just manifesting, but the actively working on



VL: Well, thank you so much for being on the podcast today it was an absolute pleasure to talk to you I mean I love chatting with you but it was great that we could finally record this episode, I think what you're doing in the world and for women and for teens is so incredibly important. I feel like every season every year you come to me with like this new idea and this new project and this new program and I just think oh my god, she can do anything and everything you're like a super woman. So I'm so happy to know you as a friend. I'm so happy to have you as a guest on the show so excited to share your voice, your story or your resources, your expertise with the audience today, and hopefully again soon. Thank you.



SS: Thank you, Valerie, thank you for giving me space for my voice, and for LASIK women you do that on your podcast is truly needed and truly a pleasure to listen to. Thank you so much for having me as a guest.

 

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E130: Q&A with Special Guest Craig
 
 

E130: Q&A with Special Guest Craig

Meet my love and partner, Craig in this fun and light episode answering your questions for Craig all about his habits and his view and ideas for forming healthy habits with your partner…


Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.

Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.

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[00:52] Valerie LaVigne: Welcome back to The Women's Empowerment Podcast. So typically every 10 episodes, I do a q&a, and I have decided to switch things up a little bit which I'm very nervous about but also very excited because I have an extra special guest on today's show, and he is my partner, Craig and as I'm saying he I'm just realizing that you're the first male guest I've had on the show which is also very exciting so welcome.


Craig: Thank you. Thanks for having me. I appreciate it.


VL: Craig was very excited to be on the show today but also a little nervous because we have a pretty much a list of listener questions for Craig. If you follow me on Instagram at about living life, you will have known or you will have seen that Craig and I have been doing some little renovations on the home, which have been fun to follow along with and just a little fun part of our relationship, and what's going on right now. So, now, I usually read a bio for the guest and Greg and I were chatting previously to recording and I said oh I don't really have a bio for you and you know you're not a entrepreneur so things are very different episode for us today. So what I thought would be great if I read your Tinder bio, which is how Craig and I met, and on his Tinder bio and correct me if I'm wrong but this is how I remember it. It said Craig, I don't think it's at your age, but at the time you were 36, and it said, looking for someone to steal my sweaters. Eat my fries, and drink my coffee, even though you said you didn't want any.


Okay can you remember my Tinder bio, off the top of my head.


C: Off the top of my head. I remember the pictures very clearly. Yeah there was beautiful pictures and I can remember. I can remember that you were a health coach, and that you were. You were in touch with, I was spiritually woke spiritually.


V: Yeah, we're gonna talk about being spiritually woke a little bit on the podcast.


Yeah, I remember something like that, something about pizza was thrown in there too, that yeah that was a good time my first ever Tinder experience and ever Tinder date and look where we are now almost, we'll definitely over a year and a half later.


As you know, my business really does revolve around health but more specifically healthy habits. So we're gonna talk a little bit today about healthy habits, and I figured we just dive in, because that's kind of how I like to do things. And the other thing I wanted to share with you about the podcast is that and I know you've listened to a couple episodes but I'm really try to leave the guests with some motivation to take action. So as we are talking if you have any like tidbits of advice, or actionable steps you can take, feel free to share that on the show.


Okay, so let's start with the healthy habits.


So Ania asked, Are there any healthy habits that Craig wants to achieve or get better at what are you currently working on in terms of your healthy habits?


[4:33] C: Well thank you for the question on habits that I really want to improve on that I lack out a lot on my diet. So we've got better at eating more consistently and vows introduced some, you know, a couple recipe books that are great, but they're still not the best. 


So, really got to tidy that up one of the bad parts is too much sugar.


So, working out that that's active and not sleeping.


I guess regularly. So that's probably my biggest challenge at the moment is getting a good night's sleep every night. Just between work and life and everything, it's just seems to be, I guess that's not really an excuse.


It's toying with me a little bit so I have to figure out a way to get in control of it. So yeah those are probably the two main things I need to I need to figure out.


VL: So, and then her next question I guess is a bit of a follow up, but are there any bad habits that you want to change so I it's kind of a similar question.


C: Yeah, so the sleep and then I guess just lazy snacking. That's probably the biggest downfall with sugar is that you know the snacking. We've gotten this terrible habit of having dessert before I have having this dessert before bed, and I guess the one was sleep.


The biggest challenge there is not putting down my phone. I need to put down my phone. Turn off the screen, close my eyes,


VL: Eliminating sugar would also probably help you sleep better too.


C: Yeah.


VL: Okay, so let's talk about some of your good habits, what are some of your good habits, and that you do every day and I can list a few but I want it to come from you.


C: I train every day, I don't know if that's necessarily a good habit. I like I enjoy the habit but I, I enjoy trading. I do feel I should take a break every now and then and listen to my body which I, I certainly don't do.


And my other habits don't necessarily turn towards health, it's more structured in a routine and I like to get things done and I don't like to leave things open ended.


If I, if I have something in my mind. I want to get on top of it like I consider that a good habit to not leave things open or unfinished.


VL: Yeah, so you work out every day, which, you know, and then some days you say you don't have a great workout. It's more of like a rest day, but you are definitely someone who takes action, whereas we laugh about that. I like to start things and Craig likes to finish things necessarily start something, but I feel like once we get something started. You're the one who's saying we need to finish this, or I'm like yeah we'll do later.


Or we'll start something else. In the meantime, and then you're done, like you said you like to, you like to take action and I think this is something that I've learned a lot from you because I tend to hesitate sometimes like oh let me think about a little bit more like let me plan this out. Where that can be helpful but it can also be a little bit of a detriment if I'm just, you know, waiting to feel ready or you're like just jump in with both feet.


C: I think when I was younger, I hesitated a bit more and I was a little bit more concerned about the risks and the outcome. And I eventually realized, you know, as time ticks along, and you've passed your 30s and it feels like the clock is getting quicker and quicker, that you start to realize that the time is not waiting for you.


So, I guess that's the reason why I've driven. Now, more.


[9:00] VL: Candace wants to know, how have your habits changed since meeting me so like what are some things that you maybe added?


C: Thank you. Thanks, Candace for that question. Since Val and I've met. There is a lot of things that have changed. Habitually and for the better.


 We, I guess, the one that pops up the most into my head is recycling and take, you know, I used to just throw, throw away everything into the trash and, and I never used to really recycle so foul, foul was very very persistent with that so I, I started to recycle and I'm still not perfect, but I'm definitely 91 miles, miles ahead of where I was. So that was a that was a huge one. One of them that happens.


I had, I had a TV in the bedroom, and fell. Passive aggressively comment though. Oh, you shouldn't do this but I was like okay, she's like no no it's your decision but, you know, so eventually I ended up getting rid of that and that definitely helped my sleep a lot because I, I used to sleep with the TV on and then wake up in the middle of the night with it still running and really have a broken sleep so that was a huge one.


I used to eat a lot of takeout. And that's, that's non existent so that's benefited me in two ways that not only am I saving a lot more money but I'm also I'm also looking after myself with my health, and mentally. I used to always believe I was old and it's almost like I was convincing myself that I was old and Val Val came in with this notion that like, Hey, you're only as old as you, you sort of believe you are.


So, if you believe you're young, you're going to convince yourself you're young and you will be young. So, this has been a huge modification for me to come back to being young and recognizing that it's a lot more journey to come down the road and we have a lot of time together.


[11:34] VL: And so that you're not even older than I am, but you're not full that I have to give, and you're very playful like this is something that I really love about you is that you are really wonderful. I used the wrong word, and once I called him immature but I met. It didn't go very well.


But this is something that like, I really like for me because I sometimes can get really caught up into more serious and structured mentality like playful side which I think is so important, and even today you're tied to these fun things, a game all the stuff so we're ready to pull your heart and you're young.


I think money wise to like you're better at saving money now.


C: Yeah.


VL: I think the pandemic also helps with Thanksgiving close.


C: Yeah, but it was like I used to I used to be very impulsive. I still am from time to time but you said Help me right now. And it's that's for the better.


[13:02] VL: So one of the other questions that Candice asked was if someone told you five years ago that you'd be getting an astrology reading, and your aura read and playing with oils, diffusing oils. What would you have said to them?


C: You're off to lunch. Yeah. Never in a million years, I would I would never have thought it, I would have probably had a good giggle and moved on.


So, this is, this has been one one journey, like the spiritual journey, I guess, although I'm not. I'm perhaps not 100% There are definitely, it's definitely been an eye opener, and I've definitely learned a lot about myself, about how to behave, my personality, how to interact with other people, and Val. You you you introduce me to a few different people like Glynis the Astrologer. 


VL: A nutritionist…


C: And that's, that's been a huge change as well. Glynis, the astrologist was huge.



VL: It's one of those things where if you don't believe it and if you can't just read your horoscope in the paper, you need to read your birth chart and someone needs to do that for you because it's like a whole other language.


C: you know, when I, when I went to see Glynis I went in with a very open mind, you know, just, I think at that time we were having a tough time. And it was a search for a good direction. And I was a bit lost.


VL: And then how many people did you tell to go see her?


C: So many because it put a lot of things to rest in my mind I think we have a lot of secrets that a lot of insecurities that are raised in dark places that you don't want to embarrass anybody and I think it takes even a lot to sometimes let your partner in because you're not certain if they're going to use it against you or you might be super super ashamed of these things and, and sitting, listening to what she had to say, might feel normal. My darkness fuel Okay, a lot more accepting of myself.


It put some perspective into some journeys that perhaps I hadn't closed the door or had time to fix properly.


VL: Thank you for sharing that. Yeah, that was very early on in our relationship too so for you to go and have that meeting with her was, it was a surprise to me that you actually did that.


At the time, but if someone asked you now like, Hey Craig, what do you think of the willie stuff like your horoscope and or as in meditation and crystals of essential oils, what would you say to somebody?


[16:25] C: You know, I came from a very sort of conservative upbringing. So, to get through something that you've grown up with is kind of a challenge, not necessarily a challenge but it takes some convincing if you will. So there's obviously like with in regards to oils, there's some oils that you can show me the benefit of them straightaway like the lemon oil. When we're painting and I spilt this lemon gospel to paint on the ground, and you gave me that oil and I couldn't believe it, including the microwave, like things that was so challenging, there's, there's, you know, I saw a huge benefit but it was kind of like, there was that instant gratification so you, you respond like I responded really well to it.


But the other oils that you know that the calming blend. Like sometimes I have a bit of a giggle because like I think it's whimsical almost, but it's just it's just because it's very difficult to believe, but I'm getting. I feel I'm getting better. 


VL: Yeah, when we first started dating you kept calling me as soon as there.


C: Yeah, yes it's right


VL: And what else, the tummy oil?


C: I guess because I'm lactose intolerant since I've been in Canada, like I respond very well to lactose and so it's been a very challenging journey for me with that because, you know growing up I grew up on a farm and Zimbabwean, there was an abundance of milk because we had cows and it was unpasteurized and, you know, we'd milk the cows and had the milk straight from there and so to get it all processed and stuff I think is playing havoc on me but, certainly.


VL: Hey, well when I met you you had a deep blue rug. Essential Oil muscle rub,


C: yeah wow okay well that's that's another one that's, that's fantastic as well, Like, I used to use a 535, you know, and more chemical kind of products and then yeah picked up that that deep blue and that that works a real treat, and even little things like the diffuse smell.


It's, it's a very nice response but that was a really bad habit I had, I had those.


VL: Oh my god yeah fresh air fresheners everywhere.


C: Yeah, so we changed the diffusers and that was a huge change which was for the better. Oh man, I threw all my chemicals as well, all the cleaning products.


VL: I basically came in it was like so…. Yeah we’re throwing out everything…


C: We pretty much. Wow, okay. There's a lot. Yeah, do laundry detergent, as well, soaps, soaps.


VL: Do you like how does it feel, do you notice a change?


C: I've noticed, I've noticed like, you know, just, I guess the changes have been so subtle, we've done some, like, it's already that like, also the painting of the house, and the brightening of the house and your style and your fashion you know the way that you've brought that in like, there's been a lot of things I think mentally I feel more grounded, obviously work is like a bit stressful so it keeps me on my toes, but I feel it's a good place to come on we have.


VL: Yeah, I was gonna say that I feel like we've created a nice little nest where it feels a little bit more like a home together. It's been a year that we've lived together.


[20:48] VL: this is actually one of the questions from Faith, who wants to know if we can talk about our, and then they quoted us like, I'm gonna change the words like pandemic relationship so basically, Craig and I met in 2019. And this summer, And then it got a little more serious in the fall. We joked about cuffing season, and where I kept Craig, in September, and then we both went on our own little trips in February or January and then when we, when we came back we were basically in this global pandemic. And, you know, the two weeks to flatten the curve was like, Oh well, I'll just stay at your house for two weeks. It actually wasn't two weeks and then all of a sudden, like I was living here and all my stuff was here and I was decorating and yeah.


So, basically, Craig, Faith’s question is to talk a little bit about this dynamic and how we've stayed sane and kept our relationship healthy over the past year or so.


C: Thank you for your question. Look, do I feel that it's been easy all the time. No, we've we've certainly had challenges, you know, and I definitely, definitely, definitely would admit that it's not always roses, but I do appreciate and love you very much. I guess this made it a bit easier in the beginning because I was perhaps a bit less selfless. I wanted to do stuff for you more, you know, I kind of set my own aside for us. And I've been very fortunate where my workers as kept going.


VL: Okay, I'll jump in here just for some context. So at the beginning of the pandemic. My job changed immediately and drastically so I lost my main source of income and I was kind of just working off of some of the passive income I was building on the side which I wasn't actively pursuing so it was a very small fraction of what I was taking home every month, whereas Craig's job was deemed essential so there wasn't a lot that changed for you other than maybe some flexibility with where you had to be so there was a little bit more working from home on Craig's and I was now completely throwing myself into my online business and as any entrepreneur would explain to you that you know the reward or the, the, the finances, they don't necessarily come overnight, it is a bit more of like, okay, we need to build this growth but I was, I was building an entirely new foundation so essentially I was building a new business and Craig was incredibly supportive of me emotionally, mentally, I mean you let me stay here at your at your house, and we kind of came up with an arrangement that made the best sense for us at the time and it's evolved a little bit but yeah so I kind of took to this like domestic role of cooking, not so much cleaning but I was cooking meals.


And I was like making our little nest for us while you were bringing home the bacon so they say.


And it like it'll happen very quickly and it was like, Oh, we don't really know how long this is going to last long and I mean, yeah, I would agree that not everything has been super easy, but I feel like we've learned so much about each other, and about ourselves, and this is actually the first time I've ever lived with a partner too so I think that was one of my, my hesitant or that's where my where my hesitancy came from was like, oh this is new and this is scary and I'm not making any money and or I'm not making as much money as before and, yeah, it's a bit of a vulnerable time for me.


C: Yeah, cuz I think I made a promotion. Last year, during that. So things are doing really really well can remember. I can remember feeling quite terrible though because my, my work although consistent is is not, you know, some days can be stressful, but it's not terrible. And I can remember you work in your past. We can get by. And I, I, deep down inside, I hope that, why not I hope I know that your time is coming, because I've seen how hard you work and I've seen how far you throw yourself into things and I sometimes feel it's not fair. You know some of your journey this, this last few years of this pandemic, I don't feel it's fair. But I don't know quite how else to support you, other than to be there for you and to support you the best I can.


Sometimes I feel I dropped the ball at it, but, you know, other times, do my best. 


VL: Craig is really, you are really supportive of me and in a lot of ways, and honestly, most of the time. So, again more context, because the studio the Pilates studio is closed right now I've been spending more time at home. So sometimes I just, it's just nice for when you come home for us to be around each other and have, like, for me, quality time is really important right now because I spend so much time alone. That being around you, and like, no phones and no emails and no TV and just having like a genuine conversation is really important to me.


And then, you know that I have like a walking habit but if I can add an additional walk with you and get some fresh air. Like, I feel like this is, it sounds like somebody's so small, but it's so important to me that time with you.


C: But I remember as you weren't getting out to us sitting and saying hey you need to get out. Come on, totally. Yeah, and that's what I think the walking habit stemmed from.


VL: Yeah a lot of it, I felt like the lazy, a lazy bum and you were like you need fresh air, you need to get outside. The best is when you came up did you leave the house today. No new, did you get up today. Does making another cup of coffee.


What about each other. Yeah and you know what this is probably like one of my most serious relationships, like I said I've never lived with a partner before and so I felt a lot of times, like, is this what it's like to live with somebody like my friends kept saying no.


What about each other. Yeah and you know what this is probably like one of my most serious relationships, like I said I've never lived with a partner before and so I felt a lot of times, like, is this what it's like to live with somebody like my friends kept saying no.


You know I've looked like my friends have lived with their partners for years. And since the pandemic, a lot has changed you're spending way more time with your significant other, you know, you're not getting the outlet of socializing with your friends or Craig likes to go skydiving like we weren't doing those things but because this is like the pretty much. Probably two thirds of our relationship I've been through the pandemic. Yeah, so it's very, it's, it's gonna be different regardless.


C: Honestly, I feel sometimes it's, it's definitely a case of make or break. And I think, I think, in this time we went away. Together we've done a few good things and we've got a few coming up so yeah we have the fabulous little like weekend road trip kind of things that have been fun, or adventurous to come. Yeah.


[29:08] VL: Okay so we have a few personal questions. Nothing crazy. So, Lisa wants to know the, your favorite thing about yourself.


C: Thank you for the question, Lisa, the favorite. My favorite thing about myself. I can't give the credit all to myself for this. But I guess the favorite thing I would think about myself is my ability to bounce back. There's, like, I, I grew up in Zimbabwe and we kind of lost our homes and byways and moved to Australia and started from zero. And then I moved to Canada and kind of started from zero and come a long way.


If you asked me 20 years ago. Do you ever, you know, would you feel that you would have moved this far or I still would have been on a farm in Zimbabwe. So, it's been, it's been a very long and tough journey and there's a lot of good people to thank, you know that have been with me.


And then in many different ways and some, some of them it's just, you know, a very small, you know, somebody just touched my life and the most smallest way but it's done me a huge benefit but I think that's probably the, I don't know if it's even.


VL: That's a great answer, I would agree with that. And then Lisa also asked, What do you want to work on with Val?


C: I would like to ultimately build our own little Empire, and have a little family and have a little house and go on vacation vacations and maybe start living a little bit, a little bit more than we have been I think we've you know you've been tied up during this this Corona thing and I would, I would appreciate to be able to stretch our legs as a couple, a little bit more out, I'd like for us to become a lot more successful. And, you know, I'd like to be there. I think I have been there like what year but has come to you, having a bit of hesitation with moving forward with your business and stuff and sometimes I'm just like, go home, don't jump on it, don't be shy like move, move, move, so I'd like to work on that as well. So be successful and be happy. And maybe content.


Like, I think we once, when you want to ask me like, What do you say don't just to be comfortable, You're like, what does that mean, like, what's comfort mean to you and that, that still, it still resonates in my mind because I'm not wondering well what is comfortable, you know, what does it mean and what do we want and I think we've started to understand each other a bit better about, you know, if we bought a house, what would it look like and, you know, one of the things that we both kind of enjoy and I guess one of the things, if I'm going to be truly honest.


One of the things I'd really like to work on as well as feeling super comfortable in our relationship to the point that you know you go on your trips and I'll be calm in my heart.

I guess that's, I think we're getting to that point that relationship where we're a lot more confident with each other and yeah.



[33:16] VL: So, when people tell me they want to be comfortable as a goal I cringe because comfort is not a goal. And, you know, like I'm very fortunate for where I grew up and how I like this incredible people that I've attracted into my life and the and the situations I've been in like I'm very fortunate. And if someone asked me, Are you comfortable, I would say yes I am comfortable, and even with Craig like where you've come from and where you are now to tell me that you're not comfortable in your house and you have an amazing job and, like, you don't have to worry about putting food on the table, in my opinion, this is comfort so that's why I always encourage people to one figure out what comfort means to you because you probably already are comfortable and to, to raise the bar like, what do you actually want to feel because you want to buy a bigger house or we want to buy a bigger house together. But comfort in a bigger home is not what we're looking for. We're looking for a spacious mess we're looking for, you know, expansion because we want to build a family like we want to have a backyard we want to be. We don't want to have to move our freaking cars around every day.


You know we want to be able to have like space for our bicycles and our paddleboards and all the other things that we, we want to include so, so really that's where I'm coming from with that is, is why I don't agree when people say the comfort is the goal because most of the people who I'm speaking to who are saying that are well more than comfortable.


C: Yeah, right. Um, I think one of the other things that, that I've really enjoyed about our little journey is that, you know, when we, when we look back and we we see some of the experiences we've had, and some of the photos, we've taken, you know, we find these old memories and have a good chuckle. I, I think the last year and a bit have most likely been some of the best years of my life. Like I feel super, like I feel a lot more settled in myself.


And I think this has allowed us to have a really great journey and one of the things I'd like to keep working on with you is making more memories, good memories. You know that we look back and like you forget a lot of them and we you know you say to me, what are you grateful for it. And we become conscious and think back to the things that we've done and have a good giggle like we've, we've done a lot of good stuff. I look forward to do a lot more.


[36:30] VL: Thank you for sharing and I look forward to doing more with you too. We're pulling on Craig's heartstrings. A little teary.


Good questions. So we have another question from Yvonne and I'm going to change the question just a teeny bit. So I would say I would rephrase this question as if you're giving advice to another couple, whether they're a couple of a couple years, or several years. But the question that she's asking is, how do you encourage your partner to practice more healthy habits, without coming off too forceful so I would say like, what advice would you give to another couple?


C: Thanks everyone for that question. this one for me is super super challenging because I've been in some relationships where somebody is expected check to change something and you don't feel equal or hurt in the relationship. And no matter what approach that person takes.


You're not gonna budge, or if you do, it'll just be to appease them on a shallow level sort of thing.


I really feel that you need to work at. At hearing your, your person hadn't appreciated your person, and communicating with your person, to the point that you actually care about each other and you love each other, to become a lot more selfless and a lot more open and less defensive and all of that.


Want to win once you get to actually see how that person is, you'll figure out how to navigate that minefield, because honestly, at the end of the day like it really does feel like a minefield sometimes.


So, I think, step one is not to, not on the approach of the question is, step one is to actually know the person, and to understand the person.


Once you know and understand that, then you can start to ask or approach it the right way.


Does that make sense?


VL: Yeah, so, and I say this to Craig all the time he he'll ask me to do something.


I don't necessarily want to do, and they'll say to Craig You know what, if you asked it to me this way. I would do it, but if you're saying, and it's, It's because I like, because I know what's gonna motivate me to do that action. Whereas if it sounds like someone's telling you something, the way I am, as a personality, I will put it off, longer if you keep asking me to do something with Craig I found that, and again I think you're right, I think it is about, it's different depending on the specific depending on the person, but with you I found that if I explain to you why this habit wasn't important. You were more willing to change it. And I also didn't come at you like you. You did list a lot of things that have changed since knowing me, but they didn't all happen at the first meeting, right, so like, I noticed that his green van container where we throw our compost had was a storage container for bags, and for grocery bags, like the ones that you dispose up the plastic bags and I was like, whoa, Whoa whoa whoa So like right away we were using disposable grocery bags, and also there was no place to put our food waste. So, yeah, that's another one.


So, again, like here I am like the alarms are going off all the red flags, he doesn't recycle. I'm just kidding, that's a huge red flag that's changeable.


So I was like okay so I bought the green bin bags and I said, actually this bin is for this, and this is why this is important. Garbage people take this every week, and then we swapped to the produce bags, and the reusable grocery bags, and the grocery store, we go to, they use paper bags anyway they don't even use plastic anymore so that's helpful.


Craig has come a LONG way!


C: What's the other thing sustainability.


VL: But yeah, a lot of those things.


C: I think it's definitely, because there's been there's been things like Val hates cleaning. She cannot, and now I love cleaning.



VL: You know, wait wait wait, you love the house being clean, you don't love it. I like the result.


C: But we compromise. Like, there's a lot of compromise and there's a lot of give and take and that's why I think it's really important to understand the other person, and to know the limits and then it's gonna need to know the limits but then it's is to know within yourself, whether your ex, you're willing to accept that this is the way it's going to be, you know that some things you may not change so you have to compromise and you have to not grow to resent them you need to just let it go and breathe and move on to another thing that's much more worth the battle.


[41:55] VL: Well, it's been such a pleasure to have you on the podcast I still have a couple more questions for you but I did want to say thank you so much because I know you were a little bit nervous but also, I kind of, you're very polite and professional on the show I thought you'd be… Maybe next time you'll be a little more your charismatic self.


C: I know what it means to you.


VL: Thank you. Before we get into the rapid fire round


RAPID FIRE ROUND

1. What are you currently reading? Or what is your favourite book?

C: I'm gonna have to get it out. It's about leadership as sad as a guy who was in the ASA, and his leadership techniques.


2. What does empowerment mean to you?

C: There is nothing that you can put your mind to like if you put your mind to it, you can achieve it differently. If you want something just go get it. It's yours. Everything's attainable goals and only walls you put up your own walls. So empowering myself as pulling down my own walls, I guess.


3. What are you currently working toward?

C: There are three things that I've tried to focus on now. And I've kind of class them in buckets. One of them is being a lot more successful at work. But, in being successful being settled as well, perhaps taking work seriously but trying to cut down the stress. That's one success at work, reducing stress.


The other thing is, building and working on on my family. By that I mean, being more in touch with my, my family, being more in touch with you, because I consider you my family, appreciating and being more in touch with your family. Also consider them my family now, and appreciating the small things like watching my brother's children grow up and being a little bit more part of it and trying to be more active and getting involved with them and, you know, making a family with you and growing our lives.


I love your family anyway so I think things go well there but it's a relationship that needs to be nurtured as well. And then my other pocket is being happy doing things that I love to do. For skydiving, as going camping and the things that we're looking forward to doing like a happiness bucket, work, family,


VL: Sounds like like core values which I've talked a lot about the podcast, share those episodes with you later.


Well thank you so much again I want to acknowledge you for one taking the time to, to do this with me because it meant a lot to me I was a little bit nervous but like I said, I was also super excited to have you on the show you were an incredible guest very polite and professional.


There's a different side to learning about today.


And I also want to acknowledge you for being a really incredible and supportive partner because I don't know what I would have done this year without you or how it would have gone, and you're always empowering me and you're always supporting me and encouraging me to take the big leaps that I am mortified to take, and I definitely would say that my, my success and my growth this year has been because of your support and encouragement, So thank you so much.


C: Thank you, you’re an amazing woman, I love you too.

VL: Aww

 

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E129: Habits for Intentional Entrepreneurs with Chantelle Andercastle
 
 

E129: Habits for Intentional Entrepreneurs with Chantelle Andercastle

Meet Aligned Business Mentor and Creative Designer, Chantelle as she takes us behind the scenes of her business and personal development practices, teaching us how to be intentional entrepreneurs and move the needle forward…


Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.

Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.

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[1:14] Valerie LaVigne: Welcome back to The Women's Empowerment Podcast. Today I get to introduce you to my good friend Sean towel. Chantel is a business mentor, web designer and creator of the aligned action framework, since 2018 She has helped entrepreneurs find depth direction, depth and direction in their biz, so they can get past where they get stuck or where they've settled, Shawn tells zone of genius is teaching service based solopreneurs, to put intention behind what they do in their business to move forward and grow bigger than they ever thought was possible. She's a three one manifesting generator, a Sagittarius sun, Leo moon and Libra rising, you'll typically find her working from her loft apartment in the middle of Canada, wearing her sparkly unicorn slippers. What a fun bio, I definitely want to start telling people, all about my astrology and my manifesting generator. Human Design profile, I love it thank you so much for being on the podcast today. 




Chantelle Andercastle: Thank you Val, I’m so excited to talk to you.



VL: Me too. This is one of those things where we started to get to know each other, probably a year ago almost. And we've actually worked together, so many times over the last year.



And I kept secretly wanting you to be on the show and then I kept putting out like feelers to be like, Yes, I have a podcast.



And I just know that there was just going to be the right time, where the two of us would come together and I'm so glad it's now because we've, like I said, we've worked on so many projects together and I feel like you've just been through a lot, and I'm excited, I'm excited to have you here to share your knowledge to share your information. Today we're talking about habits for intentional entrepreneurs, tell us what is or who is the intentional entrepreneur? 



CA: I see intentional entrepreneurs, as people who pause and think and make conscious decisions that are based on their alignment with themselves and their alignment with their brand values. So, instead of making you know decisions based on what everyone else is doing or what those, those big influences are doing or what the blogs tell you to do, or what the blogs tell you have to do. Intentional entrepreneurs do what's right for them. And what's right for their clients.



[3:53] VL: No pressure or anything!



CA: It’s not always. Like, we aim for that. And an even when you're making intentional decisions you know you might still make mistakes, and that's okay, but another element of the intentional entrepreneurs, is I guess like growing from those experiences, and taking those times when the decision didn't quite go right, and learning from that so that you can make an even better decision next time.



VL: This is so perfect. This is what the Women's Empowerment Podcast is all about. It's about the intention behind what we're doing. It's about learning from learning from the experiences that don't always go as planned, so I'm so excited that we're chatting about this. Now, the first thing that comes to mind when, when you introduce the intentional entrepreneur is, how do we get out of wanting to see what everyone else is doing and thinking that we need to show up in a certain way or thinking we need to do something differently, how do we how do we really connect with, with ourselves?



CA: Early on in my in my entrepreneurship journey I realized that I was I was consuming so much content without actually processing it, and without actually thinking about the relationship that I had with it, or even just deciding how I actually felt about it. I was just speeding through the content and kind of mindlessly consuming. And so something I did early on was, if I'm going to listen to an hour of that podcast, I'm going to spend two hours, then implementing it, or living it or reflecting on it, or meditating on it, and because I owe it to myself to actually do something with that knowledge that I've just gained, otherwise I'm just, you know stuffing more and more information in, And it's not actually getting me anywhere. So I think that's, that's been a big one for me. Another one is, is not following people who are not following like competitors in my niche that they can feel bad.



So it's not to say that I don't follow other business mentors or web designers but I don't follow the ones that don't align with me or that you know that trigger me and in whatever way I tend to limit my inputs. And that's been something that's been important too is deciding what am I going to take in and how am I going to take that in responsibly.



And just notice when that's coming up for me. So, when I, when I have that feeling of envy or I have that feeling of, well she's doing it better than I am, or she's further ahead than I am and I shouldn't be doing this to get the get there faster. That's my cue to pause and look inward and explore those feelings, you know, within myself and not, not just push them down and press play on the next episode.



[7:08] VL: Those are very great practices and I think what they have in common with each other is that they're very mindful, right, we're, we're paying attention to how we're feeling or paying attention to how other things make us feel, and it's so easy to binge content to binge podcast episodes to binge, you know, Instagram TV like HGTV, or whatever it is that we're, we're watching and I never really thought about. I never really thought about that, to listen to something and then take time intentionally take time to implement it or practice it or reflect on it.



This is something that I need to start.



CA: It's possible for me noticing that I was giving myself the check mark and the Goldstar without having done anything. I was, I was taking the fact that I had, you know, Read the chapter or search for the blog post or, you know, checked out the caption, as, as the like checked off my list. And then I was wondering, the problem with that was that I was wondering why am I not seeing any results, you know like, Oh, this is interesting. Why am I not getting any further ahead and my business, it's like you're not actually doing anything, you're just like being a sponge.



And so it's it's been helpful for me to, to encourage myself to take that further before I go in and get more information as a one three in the human design. I'm very much about knowledge seeking and I feel like I have to get like learn more before I do something. And so it's a way of honoring that that part of myself that I know I want to learn more, but I also wanted to integrate.



VL: That is so brilliant and it's so true because I've even talked about this on the show before, because we talk a lot about personal development, I used to be one of those people who I read all the books I was following all the Guru's about personal development and self help and self care and all these things. And it didn't matter how many books I read you started to see that the message was all the same. And the only reason why I wasn't getting anywhere it was because I wasn't actually implementing the message of the book so that's a huge wake up call, I think for a lot of people, and that's a great point to make, to say, Okay, why am I not getting anywhere. Okay, well what actions are you taking to work are you doing to get to where you need to be to get to your goal.



CA: Yeah, exactly, powerful stuff.



VL: And is not always easy and that's where the growth and that's where the growth comes from and that's how we, we up level is when we, we take action and get out of our comfort zones and and do the work so that's super important. I'm glad that I'm glad that you mentioned that. So when it comes to other kind of behaviors or habits, what are some other things that intentional entrepreneurs could be doing?



[10:07] CA: I like to incorporate rituals into my workday so things like to me rituals are just habits that we do more than once that we do repetitively or you know always at a certain time.



And so I have a point of rituals that are based around you know If This Then That. So, if I am reheating my coffee, I'm, I'm taking that minute to stretch at the same time, because otherwise, you know, that's the only reason I really get up from my desk, or, you know every time I am about to get on a zoom call, I go and I refresh my glass of water and just little things built into the actions that I take every day, as I'm working in my business, I use those as cues to be able to add in a little habit so I know will will help me feel good. Like, like, my water stretching, putting Roma therapy in the diffuser.



All of those, all of those little things that I might forget to do otherwise.



VL: I will I refer to them as habit triggers and they really are these little cues that help us get to where we want to be. So when you're, when you're saying these things I'm like, oh I should get water before I jump on the Zoom call or yeah I like to start my diffuser, before I sit down on my desk and I'm thinking about all these different kind of transitions or rituals that I like to incorporate too.



So I guess what I want to ask now is how do we start moving the needle forward in our business, what, what kind of habits. Can we maybe look at implementing to find that growth in our business?




[11:56] CA: Those are great questions. You know I'm all about taking action and built the framework around it. 



And I do recognize that you know there's going to be days when, when we don't feel like taking action that's just part of being a business owner as part of being human. And so my intention isn't you know that you have to be taking decisive intentional action, all of the time constantly. But when you do, it's important to celebrate that. So I haven't I had, in full disclosure I don't do it anymore but earlier in my in my entrepreneurship journey. I had a gun, I had an action journal. And I think this is a recommendation from, from my therapist of like it's stupid told me you know it's not enough to just think about something like, you then have to do it before you see some kind of results, and she encouraged me to think to write down anytime I did something that took me a little bit out of my comfort zone when I was a little bit scared of doing. And so I had this one journal that you know I put, you know like filled out this podcast application to be on the podcast that would go in there, because it's just a, just a touch, out of my, of my every day but those are the kinds of actions that would really, you know, take me further in my business. And so it was that having the journal motivated me to, you know at least have one thing to write down on most days. Now this journal was pre pandemics, so, like, keep that in mind that your capacity is going to be different, all the time based on what's going on in our lives in the world, but I was motivated to just write these things down as I went.



And that it encouraged me to do more things so I had something to write down I'm very motivated by the check marks the quotes in my own journals.



So I said that that was a great practice for, we're starting to intentionally move forward.



VL: I love this. I definitely want to start incorporating this so actually something that you mentioned a little while ago, in stories, I remember like flipping through, and I screenshot of it because you were, you were talking about things that you were going to be tracking in your business, and I thought one of them was really cool. One of the things you said was, you're going to start tracking the times you went out of your comfort zone, and I did something similar to this. A couple years back and I've started redoing it now since you posted about it. Can you tell us maybe like, maybe give an example or tell us a little bit more about what that would look like.



[14:35] CA: Yeah, I think, with the tracking, you know, doing that where you're actually going to use it is, is so key. So if you're a pen and paper person, like, keep an actual journal, if you're, you know that you're digital mostly email yourself every time or put it in your task manager your asana, or Trello your pick up whatever, or find an app that you can keep that kind of list in, but it's it's so motivating to look back on what you've tracked and see, these are the actions that I've already taken, right, those empower you to take more actions.



And so having that having that list handy of, you know, this is, this is what I, this is what I've accomplished this is what I've done. I think is so motivational and is a way that you don't need to look outside yourself for motivation, right, you get to get to use that list to look inward and think, Hey, these are some things that I've accomplished, which means if I can do this, I can probably do that.



VL: Wow. Yes. That's so true, it's really empowering to see that proof, and also what you said earlier it's that it gets you to take more action, because what we don't always realize is that we're kind of growing this muscle this courage muscle or this this growth muscle. I like to call it you know the I'm in the health and wellness industry, I've got to relate everything to fitness and wellness. Anyway, but what I love about that is that it's really cool to see how that list grows, and then you get to look back and say, Wow, I have taken so many steps. Wow, I'm so capable of this next big leap, or whatever it is and I to be very driven by the checklist.



CA: You’ve got to give yourself the sticker, and yourself the gold star right, right, like because, as entrepreneurs like we don't have the boss was willing to do that, or, you know, it's not always those external metrics that are going to give us that sense of satisfaction so learning to give ourselves that that pat on the back, or that moment of celebration that moment of gratitude for ourselves, that's, that's powerful.



[16:58] VL: It is. It absolutely is. And we're the only ones who can kind of, kind of do that for ourselves. So just like you said, when I want to know now is how do we know that we're taking the right steps forward for us, how do we know that we're growing in the right direction?



CA: So, I think, a concept that's tossed around a lot, is this concept of alignment, and I think the missing piece there is people don't always know what they're aligning to.



And so making decisions, gets a lot easier. Once you know what you're aligning to, and you can do that in a couple of different ways but I found that, like, basing decisions based on values, has been the most effective for myself and for my clients is deciding on a list of four to seven words that are your guiding values and principles. And when you're faced with a decision, you know like this or that, or, you know, sure. Should I use should I buy this or should I invest in that or what do I do next, consulting that list, and going back to that I'm having it, you know, physical somewhere, or having it completed finished.




It seemed that, That ability to look back and go, Okay, does this line up with my body's not gonna lie machining. Is this an alignment with my, with myself with my values. And I think that's that's the most powerful tool we have as decision makers, because we can't, You know, we have great like capacities we don't always know what is going to happen, you know, three decisions further down the line or three months from now. And so the best we can do really is make the most informed decision that we can, and the most aligned decision that we can, based on what we already know, and that includes your poker knowledge, and our, our knowledge of self and our integration of our own personal experience. So when you're armed with, like, or when you're at the moment of making a decision. Really what you have to consult is your past experience, up until this very moment.



It seemed that, That ability to look back and go, Okay, does this line up with my body's not gonna lie machining. Is this an alignment with my, with myself with my values. And I think that's that's the most powerful tool we have as decision makers, because we can't, You know, we have great like capacities we don't always know what is going to happen, you know, three decisions further down the line or three months from now. And so the best we can do really is make the most informed decision that we can, and the most aligned decision that we can, based on what we already know, and that includes your poker knowledge, and our, our knowledge of self and our integration of our own personal experience. So when you're armed with, like, or when you're at the moment of making a decision. Really what you have to consult is your past experience, up until this very moment.



VL: Yes, I just hold time like shaking my head like, Yes, this is so true and this is so important because it really comes down to, like when you set the alignment, and not just that overuse of the word, but the actual practice of it, taking that action in that alignment, and you support a lot of new entrepreneurs I would say is that correct, yeah?



When you're working with them, have you noticed maybe a theme or a couple similarities in where they get stuck, and, and how, how do they get out of those kind of limiting beliefs?



CA: I think the main one is that they have so many ideas, and they're feeling scattered and we want to streamline.



You all can’t see her, but Val  just have this little fist bump when I said that.



VL: Yes. 100% that’s me. I'm like, I have all the ideas, but which one do I do like how do I, where do I start anyway. Streamlining.




CA: Yeah, and streamline isn't a word I would use with the word my clients been to us. And I think to them what it means is, like are they looking for clarity, they're looking for. Taking all of our ideas and picking the best one I think that's what streamlined means for them. And I would say, you know, if you have a lot of ideas, that's a strength. That's, that's a positive, and you want to give life to all of your ideas in some ways so that you don't put yourself into ideas scarcity, because trust me it would be worse to not have any ideas that would be, that would be a real struggle. Right, it's very difficult to build a business on no ideas, And so, having lots of ideas actually is probably very powerful, or can be if you choose to view it that way, so I'd encourage you know, write down all of those ideas.



Meditate on those ideas. Decide, talk to them, really, like, talk to if I had some ideas but I remind them that I'm still there, but they're not for right now, and that's okay.



You know like it wouldn't be a good idea to open anything brick or mortar right now for me, in my particular circumstance. so I you know I don't do that but I think maybe some days this idea will be. That'll be the right moment, it will be aligned and sober mind the idea but, you know, it can still hang around me for as long as you know as long as I want it to do.



And I'm not forgetting about it.



But but I'm focusing on other ideas right now and I'm bringing those to life, and that's where my focus needs to be. And I guess over the three years of being an entrepreneur I've developed a better trust in myself that the ideas that I have right now are the right ones for right now, and that's been a continual growth experience because I didn't always have that trust in my first business as a yoga teacher, I had all the ideas my active on all of the ideas, because I am very action driven, but I acted on so many ideas that I like I diluted, my brand, right, like it wasn't, it wasn't clear for people what I offered. And then I wasn't giving enough of myself to each of them to make any of them successful. And I used to think that, you know, if I, I would be more successful if blank, you know like if I had a product based business, I'd be more successful and so I launched myself into products, and that didn't turn out to be a great decision for me because I was just trying to add things that I thought made other people successful, not the things that I actually deeply knew that I wanted to do, I didn't have a good why around them. And so, acted on those ideas without that depth wasn't wasn't a good strategy.



So I feel like I've got a tangent here but the, the too many ideas mindset, or the too many ideas problem, I think, just needs a little bit of a reframe of, you know, some ideas are for right now, and some ideas are for later, some ideas are for me, and some ideas are for other people.



[24:10] VL: Definitely. So, okay so I have two questions. One of that. The first one is we okay let's say because I'm the idea person, I'm gonna use myself as an example, I have all of the ideas and they come all the time, and sometimes I'm like whoa whoa whoa, slow down, I can't even, like, think about all of them. So let's say I choose the one that feels best for me, and I'm going along going along going along, and then like, there's a second shiny object over here, as the shiny idea over here. How do I then I'm going to use this expression stay in my lane. When all of the other things are like twinkling in my eye. What do I do?



CA: Yeah shiny object syndrome is real. I, I hear you, that like squirrel mentality, it's so difficult with our attention spans, as they are, you know that instant gratification I think makes us feel like we have to we have to go all in on that idea right now or it's going away.



And so for shiny object syndrome, I, I would just encourage keeping an idea bank somewhere of No, this is a this is a potential, this is a possibility maybe it's a possibilities journal or a potential list of, you know, this is something I could focus on later on so something, and know your feelings around it to like because this is exciting, Is this, like what about it is attracting new, so it's it's why, why is it sparkly to unify us and shiny.



What is, what element is actually connecting with you on that level, and maybe you can bring that feeling into what you're doing currently, like maybe that's a hint that what you're currently working on is not as exciting there doesn't feel you don't feel as passionate about, or you don't feel as inspired or motivated. And so maybe that's a hint to remind you, okay, you want a little more of this feeling remember. And so how can you bring that into what you're doing right now, I mean you reshape that recreate that?



And then how can you make space for those videos later so maybe it's something like leaving yourself, you know 10 minutes a day meditating on all of those things those future potential as possibilities.



Scripting them into your, into your future. So, but remind yourself that now. This is what you're doing right or, you know, potentially, potentially, it's also a message to let go of the thing that you're currently doing maybe doesn't feel like it's working anymore. Maybe you are looking at work towards the briefings because you're trying to give yourself permission to stop doing that thing you're doing that you've lost interest in. So that could be a really it's a lot of self inquiry.




I find myself, you know, in a staff meeting with one a lot. Where I'm thinking through these things and thinking okay, is this my higher self talking, or is this my ego or is this me distracting myself. What is what is going on here with you.




[27:27] VL: Right, so then these just have to give yourself a little bit of a tough thing to definitely I talked to myself all the time. I love that solo meeting.



The second question that I had before if we're gonna want to jump right into it, is how do we build trust with ourselves, we were talking about trust earlier because their habits are practicing?



CA: That's a great question for me and trust in myself has been gradual totally a result of therapy and meditation and making mistakes and learning from them and making really big mistakes and learning from them, I think, I think my greatest. My greatest sense of self trust has come from my, my worst mistakes, and having to experience those in growth through them and teach myself to build that trust back with myself every time that's happened.



And just recognize that it's a journey, no like, it's one of your favorite presidents but, but it is it's, it's something that we're never going to be complete in that it's, it's just something that we're, we're developing that we're learning to do in an ongoing way that it's a relationship, right, we have a relationship with ourselves, and that's how we develop that self trust. And I think it's different than, than how we trust how we trust ourselves is different than how we trust other people like yes we're proving things to ourselves in some ways, you know, like every time we follow through on a habit, or every time we we take an action vote for proving something to ourselves, but also, it's, it's a little bit bigger than that. Right, it's not just transactional where it's you know do this action and then your sense of trust froze, it's also just a holistic sense of it, that, that grows over time.



VL: That's so powerful it is. It is very much I love that you said that holistic sense and it is definitely is something that grows over time.



Oh my goodness, I've learned a lot about trusting myself, and I just realized since you said from your biggest mistakes that you know what a lot of my trust, as well as my growth has come from those failures have come from though and I don't even like to call them failures because of the negative connotation of the word, but I think that's what they, that's what a lot of people would recognize them as. However, I would not be where I am today without those, those moments and time. Without those experiences without those mistakes. So, you know why it's one of those things where that was a really deep answer to the question. And I think that, as an entrepreneur, as a human, we need to, to spend time recognizing the growth recognizing, maybe the silver lining or the outcome from that hardship from that mistake, and that's where so much magic happens, whether it's trust or learning or growth or redirection pivoting, all of those things, it's so beautiful and when we can look at it in this way, That's where things start, start to shift for us and expand for us. 



CA: Yeah, what you were saying actually just gave me a great kind of metaphor for it. Is it because when you break through trust with yourself, then you're forced to rebuild it. Right, and it's in the rebuilding that you get better at it and it makes me think of watching my partner's kids build their Legos.



It's, it's so interesting to watch them as they come up against, you know like they put a piece in the wrong spot and then they're 10 steps later and are like, Oh no, what do I do and it's this big panic about the Lego and. And I always tell them you know the joy isn't the building because once you've built that cool Lego. If you're not really playing with, what do you call the Lego but you once you've built that thing, you're not really playing with it. Play aspect of it is building. The building is the toy. And so, the building of the trust is kind of similar to that you're building it like block by block and sometimes you have to go back 10 steps, and, and rebuild that, and that's just, like, you know, that's life. That's business sometimes we have to go back and rebuild with ourselves, but we're getting better at it every time because we have that we have that that advanced knowledge, that's how we can see is 10 steps into the future, is when I did this last time, I didn't get the result that I want, but I get the opportunity to go back and try again.



[32:38] VL: Oh my goodness, you are like Oprah. So, like you're just dropping the word seven. Right now I'm like, oh my god I never thought about it this way, as Lego as the building blocks of that's the journey, the journey is the reward the journey is the fulfillment, it's not the end of the journey not the destination



CA: This is a hard concept for preteens, but yes, that is the journey.



VL: That's right, my goodness, I love that you explained it, like I love who doesn't love like, Okay, I want to get into how we can support you but I just feel like I need to ask, is there anything else that we should know is there anything else you need to share with us today?



CA: I I'd actually love to share my most long standing habit. Well I know that your most long standing habit is the, making your bed every day from when you get The Compound Effect.



Mine is for the last three years or so, I've met every Tuesday with, with my friend Dana, and we have a mastermind of two. And, you know, sometimes, Sometimes we have to shift and it's not exactly Tuesday. It's at 3:30pm Sometimes it's early or something. The next day, but it's a habit that stayed very consistent.



It's a habit that's lasted longer than anywhere I've lived in my adult life.



And what we do is we we've, we've committed to each other going on this like this personal growth journey, sort of hand in hand. And when we started it we would actually meet at the park, and sit on a bench and talk every week, and we work our way through self help books one chapter at a time, and the practices built around the idea that we, we, we had a tendency to read through these books like the speed read through them and not actually do any of the exercises or absorb any of the learnings. And so, we can't read ahead, we can't, you know have spoilers, so we read one chapter a week. And we said, with what or recent on Zoom, and we discussed the chapter of the week, and it's a kind of book that has exercises in it like, like the you are a badass books for example of those exercises at the end of the chapter and I think compound effect those two it has the homework.



The Compound Effect was also one of our one of our mastermind books.



So we had that connection but we we support each other and our and our personal growth through those meetings and use those books as a, as a tool to start the conversation, and having to just read one chapter at a time and not skip ahead, and not speak, read through the whole thing gives us, you know, an experience of, you know if the book has 10 chapters, that's, that's a minimum 10 week commitments that we're making to it and to each other. And so we get to live with the books a little bit longer and and CO create that experience together. And that's been just integral to my growth as an entrepreneur, it's been the most valuable habit because I believe that working on myself, is working on your business. And because I am my business, like, along with my clients. Right, so that that taking that time that dedicated time or don't book anything else, and that time I don't, I don't want to get overtaken by calls or by the list or emails, or whatever, committing that time to myself and committing that time to my friend, and to the book that we're reading has been really transformative and I'd encourage anyone to find that person that is going to handhold you on your way to to growing to be the best that you can be for your life and for your business.



[36:48] VL: What a lovely friendship mastermind relationship that you have I think that's so powerful. And I also like the pacing of it too.



What a lovely friendship mastermind relationship that you have I think that's so powerful. And I also like the pacing of it too.



And I think it's great advice and I think it goes full circle back to what we kind of started with was not just consuming consuming consuming but actually taking action and this gives you the opportunity and the accountability to do that.



CA: Because a lot of the exercises, you know, left to my own devices, I would not do that because they're scary prayed like, like, who wants to actually do the exercise when they're forgiving themselves and they're doing it, they're saying it out loud in the mirror like nobody wants to do it.



Right, I certainly don't don't want to face that part of myself, right, but because I know I have to, because I know my partner is doing it as well but at that same time, and then also you know I have to answer to her. The next week, or I'll have nothing to say which was how does exercise to for you.



It, it's a little bit of a little bit of safety, I guess, in doing that exercise to know that, you know, even if you feel silly doing this thing or even if you don't want to do that work for someone else doing it with you.



And, and you'll get more out of it, if you, if you do it.



And so that, that motivation has been killed got. That's why I've gotten further right that's why I've gotten further with it is I haven't skipped over the ones that are hard.



VL: Yes, call us all out for that. That’s perfect.



CA: I’ve been tempted, you know and some some weeks I have each of us have some weeks we've skipped them and then we've had to try again the next week. And, and we've just added it on, I guess, to the next weeks.



Because then if we if we both fail or one of us fail to do it and we talk about it. Like, why was that scary. Why was that hard why, why did that feel like a no, what am I avoiding that I didn't want to do that or what am I afraid will happen, or what am I blocking myself from receiving by not doing that.



VL: It is some really great questions, but that's part of taking action it's you, you figure out you bring awareness to the stuff that sucks, and the stuff that you're afraid of. And you, but then when you have those breakthroughs when you actually, you do you do number two, and you do the thing that you were avoiding week after week, and then you're like, oh my god, I can do anything, or I can do the next thing, and it's, again, like we're going back full circle again to building trust and taking action and all the things that we, that we need to be doing to move the needle forward.



This has been such a wonderful conversation, I mean, I knew it was gonna be.



I just, I feel like you blew my mind, which you always do but this was just even more different and amazing than I expected. I'm so glad. I'm so glad that we finally did this.




CA: You’re my favourite super client!



VL: So sweet. I'm sure it'll be another project for us to work on and then we have one more round as a shower one more segment of the show but before we get into it. Let us know where we can find you where we can follow you and how we can support your business.



INSTAGRAM | @clearquartzcreative

WEBSITE | www.ClearQuartzCreative.co



So, supporting my business is really, by supporting your business and that's with the aligned action framework that I've created. I have an eight day or eight week depending on what pace you want to take it workshop that self paced takes you through all of the steps of building an intentional business based on alignment to you, and learning to become just a more conscious decision maker. So over the course of eight hours, you learn how to bring more of you into your business to do business on your own terms, and to really connect to yourself as you as you grow your business. And the link for that is, in my bio or through my website, and I think that's, that's really the best way to connect and to grow.



VL: I've done the aligned action core slash framework, and it is really amazing. I was very impressed, even as someone who has had a business for a while. I've noticed that recently a lot of my core values and a lot of my intentions have changed. So to kind of go back to the kind of fundamentals or just remind yourself of what your mission is what your vision is who you're supporting. It was really helpful for me, so thank you so much for that. 



[43:22] RAPID FIRE ROUND 

1. What are you currently reading? OR What’s your favourite book?



Favourite Book: The Untethered Soul

Currently Reading: The Art of Possibility




2. What do you love most about being a woman?



The sense of personal power, is that I feel, and on things like sparkles.




3. What does “empowerment” mean to you?



Empowerment, to me, means, like we touched on earlier, that building that trust with yourself. I think the more that we trust ourselves, the more power that we are. And the more that we know ourselves or empower that we are so self knowledge and self trust.




4. What are you currently working toward?



I am currently working towards a business that reaches more people. Up to now I've mostly focused on his one to one services, where I'm working directly with clients for our period of time. 



And I'm working on building more courses like the aligned action framework that are going to meet entrepreneurs where they're at and teach them skills that they need that are very specific. So like one thing I'm working on is the intentional inbox. So how to be intentional with your email, and I have so many more ideas about like how to be intentional with your, your brand photoshoots, because that's something that my clients come to me with lots of questions about, and creating those, those, those courses so that you know they're very accessible, or reasonably priced, and they're sort of easily consumable and actionable. And then, just getting to connect with, with more entrepreneurs through that true that experience of working with them.



[46:00] VL: Well, it is an absolute pleasure working with you. I should know it's been, I think five projects, different projects.



Thank you so much. This was amazing. You are amazing, I want to just take a moment to acknowledge you and your work and your, your overflowing, knowledge, and I feel like every time I connect with you, I learned something new, maybe not always about web design or about being an intentional entrepreneur I mean it definitely did today, but sometimes it's even just learning something more about myself. I mean think it's so, it's such a pleasure, a blessing to know you as a friend and also to have worked with you so I'm just, again, like really grateful I'm really happy to, to know you and to share your voice and your knowledge with my community. So thank you so much. 



CA: Thank you. That is the three that are gonna make me cry over here.



VL: That’s the goal. JUST KIDDING!



CA: I also want to acknowledge you because you put so much effort, And so much heart into this podcast and sharing it with everyone. So, I acknowledge you, in a, in a similar way, with gratitude.



VL: Thank you, and I receive that.

 

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E128: How Healthy are Your Habits?
 
 

E128: How Healthy are Your Habits?

Whether or not you realize it, you have many habits in your day. But are those habits helping you, or are they hurting you? In today’s episode we bring awareness to what's working, what isn’t and some next steps to elevate our daily routines…


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[1:09] Part One: Collecting the Data

The very first step to making any change is awareness. We need to know what current habits we have, and whether or not they are: beneficial, detrimental, or neutral. Let’s get started by creating a habit scorecard.

To do this you will need: a piece of paper or notebook and a writing utensil. You can also use the notes app on your phone if you prefer. I always recommend starting with the pen and paper because it’s a bit easier to evaluate and see the big picture than it would be to scroll along on your phone. 

It’s important to remember that the purpose of this exercise is to bring awareness to your current daily routines, not to judge yourself for them. We will be evaluating the habit, which is separate from us at this time. 

Here’s how the scorecard works: from the moment you wake up, you are going to write down a list of everything you do; every activity throughout your day until you go to bed at night. 

When you’re writing your list, keep these three things in mind:

  1. Be as detailed as possible. Don’t skip little habits, even if they seem insignificant, or you aren’t doing them every day. These are still very important. 

  2. Be honest. Not all of our habits are good ones; that’s okay. We’re doing this exercise so that we can understand our starting point.

  3. This is a judgement-free zone. Even if your entire morning is stacked full of “bad habits” the point of the exercise is to collect information, not judge ourselves. You’re already making a positive impact on yourself and your life just by listening to this episode and taking action on your daily routines. You’ve got this!


Here’s a bonus part to the scorecard exercise: include mindset habits. These are our thoughts and thought patterns. For example, when you wake up in the morning your thoughts could be that you’re excited for the day. Or when you’re driving to work you’re thinking about how you’re already counting down the hours until you can drive back home after work.

E04: Your Mindset is a Habit  

Use your habit scorecard every day for one whole week. Technically you can do this for one day, however you’ll collect more accurate data from seven full + consecutive days, especially if each day is different for you. At the very least I suggest making a scorecard for 2 weekend days, and 2 weekdays.

[4:12] Part Two: Evaluating the Data

Once you have your list of daily routines, it’s time to rate them. 

Highlight with yellow, or put a + sign beside any “good habit.” A good habit is beneficial and improves your life. Examples: meditation, exercising, staying hydrated, flossing, etc.

Highlight with blue, or put a - sign beside any “bad habit.” A bad habit is detrimental and doesn’t solve problems in your life. Examples: Hitting snooze multiple times, checking instagram first thing in the morning, grabbing a sugary latte and snack on the drive to work, etc.

Don’t highlight, or put an = sign beside any “neutral habits.” A neutral habit is something that must be done. Examples: getting dressed, going to the bathroom, driving to work, etc.

Now remember that bonus part of the scorecard? Where we were recording our mindset patterns? Our neutral habits MUST BE DONE, but that doesn't always mean our thoughts are neutral also. As you are tracking your habits, notice if you have positive, negative, or neutral mindset/thoughts around these neutral habits (and your other habits). You might find that getting dressed in the morning is actually detrimental because you are wearing clothes that don’t fit you properly and negative self talk starts to come up. Or while you’re going to the bathroom you are reading the news on your phone and you’re experiencing some issues with digestion because you aren’t actually present or connected to your body. 

I know this is getting pretty detailed, so if you’ve never brought awareness to your habits before, start with the simple scorecard with the daily actions.

If you’re interested in making more internal/mindset shifts, this is where you need to bring your attention to WHILE you’re doing certain activities. 

Sometimes it helps to start simple with your scorecard for the first two days, and then get more detailed with your mindset the following two days and so on.


[6:29] Part Three: Using the Data

Once you’ve collected the information, take a look at your scorecards. What do you see? There are no right or wrong answers, but here are some examples of what you might find...

  • A balance of good and bad habits

  • More good habits in the beginning of the day, and bad habits in the evening

  • More habits than you thought you had

Look through everything and notice if there are any specific bad habits that you’d like to change. As always, start with ONE thing you’d like to work on at a time. Usually you’ll discover which habit you want to change pretty quickly while you’re tracking and evaluating. 

As an example let’s say you’ve gotten in the habit of eating ice cream before bed. You rated this as a bad habit that you want to change. Instead of trying to eliminate this habit immediately, consider what you can replace this habit with, or how you can modify the habit.

For example: you are going to replace the ice cream with half a cup of fruit or a scoop of peanut butter, or a peppermint tea.

Or you will have half the serving you normally have of ice cream and without the extra toppings you add to it like m&ms and sprinkles. Then, perhaps you only have the ice cream if it’s before 8pm or only on weekends; limiting the habit to weekly instead of nightly. This could turn into a gradual elimination of the habit.

As you're building this new habit, it’s important to track it. The best trackers are automatic, like a step counter attached to your phone or watch. For our ice cream example we would have to track it manually. A suggestion I would have would be putting a calendar up on your freezer/fridge door and each time you DON’T go for the ice cream and reach your new goal/habit put a sticker or an X on the date. See if you can continue the chain of X’s without breaking it for more than two days in a row. 

This will help you track your habit, and also help you see the progress you are making. You can also write WHY this new habit is important to you on the top of your calendar to remind you why you’ve decided to make this change. Perhaps you want to be healthier, or have better quality sleep. 

Another way to support your new habit is to set up a habit trigger. This could be setting up your kettle, favourite mug, and a tea bag after you’ve cleaned up the dinner dishes so that it’s easier for you to make a tea versus a bowl of ice cream. 

You can also let your family members, or roommate know you’re working on this new habit. Maybe ask them to check in with you, encourage you, or do the challenge with you!?

How you choose to take action on the information will be entirely up to you. When you’re creating an action plan, here are my best tips/practices:

  1. Start with one habit you’d like to change/modify/adjust 

  2. Swap the habit versus eliminate it entirely 

  3. Track your new habit/progress either manually or automatically 

  4. Set up habit triggers to make the new healthy habit easier than the old bad habit

  5. Tell a friend to help keep you accountable with your new habits 

Your next immediate step is to start that habit score card! Get the pen and notebook ready right now and place it beside your bed so you can start listing your daily activities from the moment you wake up.

When you’re done you can send me a photo of your scorecard or tag me in a story/post on instagram @vallavignelife I’d love to see where you’re at with your experiment!

 

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

Categories

Download the FREE Dream Lifestyle Roadmap

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E127: 6 Procrastination Stuck-Spots and How to Overcome Them
 
 

E127: 6 Procrastination Stuck-Spots and How to Overcome Them

Overcome your most common stuck-spots when it comes to procrastination…


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[2:25] Grade 5 speech, opening line:

“P-R-O-C-R-A-S-T-I-N-A-T-I-O-N. Procrastination is a very long word, and some of you may not know what it means…”


Procrastination is more than avoiding or delaying, and it’s not laziness. When we procrastinate we are actively choosing to do something else. We’re taking action, just not on the task we are meant to be acting on. Which means there is a deeper issue at hand that we need to consider as to WHY we might be procrastinating.


When you find yourself procrastinating, evaluate your work/study habits. Chances are, they’re going to fall into 1 (or more) of these 6 stuck-spots!


Start by asking yourself these questions:

  1. Is there a certain thing I always put off last?

  2. What is it?

  3. What are my thought patterns around it?


Investigating why we do things is important for breaking our unhelpful habits and patterns, we have to figure out why we’re doing them in the first place. And when we know why, we will be able to create a strategy to overcome it!


Let’s investigate further and look into where we get stuck when it comes to procrastination...

[5:57] 1. VALUE

Does the task lack value?

I recently had a conversation with a friend and business owner who was feeling down about her current ideas and strategy for her business. As she was explaining her situation she started talking about the intention behind her brand and her business, and suddenly everything changed. She lit up with excitement about her business and became so passionate about the intention and why behind her business. She remembered why she started it and recognized that the current work she was doing needed the passion and clarity she began the company with. This rejuvenated inspiration led her into creation mode where she took inspired action and felt that her ideas were valuable again.


This situation can be true for many of us. For some, we will reconnect to the value and importance of the project, and for others we will need to change our strategy and pivot.


[7:08] 2. TIMING

Is there an issue with timing?

Most people are more productive during certain times of the day, and knowing when we work best, is really important when it comes to managing our time and time blocking. Don’t schedule your work when you’re tired.


If you aren’t sure where your time is being spent, or when you work best, I recommend tracking our week. To do this you will need a pen and paper, or a notebook and you’re literally going to write down everything you do in a week; day-by-day, and how much time you spend doing that task. From when you wake up, to when you go to bed.


This method is incredibly eye-opening and will reveal MANY things about yourself, including some of our worst habits, and also when we tend to be most productive. Do this every day for a whole week and re-evaluate when you time-block certain tasks and how much time you give them.


[8:33] 3. OVERWHELMED

Do you get overwhelmed by big tasks?

Aim to chunk things down into smaller, more manageable tasks to be more efficient and less stressed. 


I can’t tell you how much time I’ve spent stressing about a massive to-do list, when I could have easily used that energy to take action and start crossing things off the list. Now what I do is make a master to do list, and go into detail breaking down the bigger tasks into smaller chunks. And by smaller chunks, I mean get as small as you need to so that you can start making headway on the work that needs to be done. 


As an example: The to do list no longer reads “workout” you can now say 

Workout

  • Put on workout clothes

  • Put on deodorant

  • Put on running shoes

  • Pick a sweet playlist for the workout

  • Exercises: 30 minute circuit video with exhale pilates



[11:01] 4. DELAYED GRATIFICATION

This can be similar to stuck-spot number one. We might struggle with thinking the project is important or rewarding unless it’s being done right before the deadline - like me with this podcast episode being produced the night before - YIKES!


We go through our day to day tasks and to do lists and only see the slow progress being made, and the reward or gratification isn’t until the very end of a big project. This is why we’ll leave things just before the deadline to feel a sense of completion and gratification. 


To overcome this stuck spot, find ways to reward yourself along the way of a project. Like when we break our goals down to smaller chunks, reward the end of day, or end of week, for those larger projects.


Kat Gaskin, founder and creator of The Content Planner, created a section in the content planner where at the end of each week you write down your wins; big or small! The reward can be recognition for moving the needle closer to your goal, it can be a celebratory experience or gift, whatever helps YOU stay motivated and on track.


[12:24] 5. LACK OF FOCUS/EASILY DISTRACTED

When it comes to productivity, one of the biggest struggles my audience had was lack of focus, and getting easily distracted. 


Overcoming this starts with optimizing our space and eliminating/minimizing our distractions. Task switching or multi-tasking is not only a HUGE productivity fail (we go deeper into productivity in Episode 125: Powerful Productivity Practices), but it also makes you feel like you’re not getting anything done because everything is half finished and we are in this never ending cycle that keeps us busy and inundated with work.


Which is why I always recommend focusing on one task at a time, and creating impactful transitions between tasks. Like a breathing practice, a walk in nature, getting up and drinking a glass of water, etc.


[13:46] 6. HITTING A WALL 

As a business owner, a multi-passionate entrepreneur, and healthy habits coach, I will tell you straight up that I have days when it feels impossible to finish tasks. Sometimes I think I am the queen of procrastination. And because I am someone who is productive and energetic more often than not, I can easily fall into the negative self talk of “not good enough” and lack self-worth. 


Here’s how to get unstuck: rephrase the internal dialogue. Forgive and give yourself permission to take breaks, cut losses, and shower yourself in love and self care. I took a walk this morning to clear my head and move my body and I didn’t feel guilty for it. 


I enjoyed Il Dolce Far Niente, the art of doing nothing (italian). And honestly, I made up for lost time you could say because after a refresh and restart I was able to get the project and tasks completed in less time because of how much more open and recharged I was.


Now I know I said that there were six procrastination stuck spots, however there could be one more. And this might be a deeper struggle. Perhaps it’s a symptom of something more serious. If this feels like you, don’t hesitate to reach out to a professional and ask for help for managing the significant distress at a deeper level.



Thank you so much for listening to this episode of the women’s empowerment show, if you thought of a friend who might love this topic, please share it with them. Let’s continue the conversation over on instagram @vallavignelife

 
Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E126: Living in Alignment with Core Values with Jana Mutch
 
 

E126: Living in Alignment with Core Values with Jana Mutch

From understanding what your core values feel like in your body, to making better decisions, better habits, and manifesting the life your soul is craving, we’re covering it all in this in-depth episode of how you can start living in alignment with your core values today…


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[1:10] Valerie LaVigne: Welcome to another special guests episode of the Women's Empowerment Podcast. Today I'm speaking with intuitive guide, Jana. Jana ditched her comfy senior like leadership role of a fast paced tech company to start living out her soul's purpose. Her goal is to help strong wild women to feel empowered to return to their authentic selves so that they can live the life, their soul, is creating. Oh my goodness, I feel like so connected a call to this.

Like I know, I read it and I'm thinking, I need to know more, like, I want to know more, I need to know more, can you tell us a little bit more about how you do the things that you do and what is an intuitive guide. 



[1:58] Jana Mutch: Yeah, well I guess my, my journey, sort of, officially started when I was still at my corporate job. You know I think everyone is born with some intuition and you connect with it, you know in varying degrees from the time that you're, You know, just first coming earthside, you know, and I was very connected when I was a kid but then go up, you learn, like maybe it's a bit weird, or you don't want to be connecting with your intuition in this way or you know you're just sort of learn to shut it down through conditioning through your own, you know, sort of confidence or your own sort of like insecurities. So, I have done that. I've definitely done that over the years of working in a corporate job that I was starting to not love, you know, being in an environment where I'm working in the tech industry and it's super fast paced, there's like hyper growth, hyper growth like I started at this company when we were 12 and within about a year and a half, we had grown to 60 employees. I had been, you know, running a project of building out a 10,000 square foot office on top of my full time job on top of another like part time job, You know, and just the more I was not company, the more I was like this doesn't feel good for me anymore. I'm like really reactive I don't feel like myself, I just feel like I'm on autopilot.


You know I was just going through the motions every day. And one of my really good friends had said to me, you know, I met this is healer this energy healer and I think you would really like her, you should have an appointment with her. And I was like, I don't really know what that even means. But I trust you so I'm just gonna do it. So I booked a session with an energy healer. And it was exactly what I didn't know I needed, and we got through working with her I did a couple sessions with her and she had said to me, I think you're actually meant to be doing this work. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, I'm like, I'm meant to be climbing the corporate ladder, I'm meant to be, you know, the boss, I'm meant to be making a difference in these big companies, it's just like an extra sure that you're meant to do energy work. And she started training me, connecting back to my intuition.


And, you know, just sort of, she was my mentor, still to this day as my mentor and a very good friend, but she was really, you know, sort of the catalyst and into this world. And then through working with her like I started really working with energy, feeling people's energy. And, you know, Just moving in. Moving on any blockages that was depleted like putting energy back in their body, or just getting everyone feeling back selves and balanced.


And the more I started doing that, the more my intuition started opening up, And the more other gifts started opening up.


You know I was, I was doing all of this work alongside working, you know in this corporate role, and starting to feel so much more disconnected from, you know this full time job, to the point where I was like okay I need to get out and I know now that I am meant to be doing. You know this intuitive work this energy work this healing work.


You know, so eventually I separated from my job in the tech world, and my full time to do in energy QA and intuitive work, and through doing that work more and more. My guests have been more and more, and I found, you know that I was really good at sort of feeling into people's bodies, and feeling their energy, and then from that feeling deciphering what it meant, like, what is the thing that's going on in their life that's causing this feeling in their body. And how do we work through that.


You know, so it's a mix of traditional energy healing like Reiki. Also with, you know, some intuitive guidance so I just received the messages.This is, this is the thing that's really going to help you, you know, this is the, this is an exercise that's going to help you, this is the, you know, sort of, the tool that you can start putting into place to help you move through this block, or move through this period of your life, move through this thing that is just making you feel like you're spinning your wheels and going nowhere.

So that's, you know, short story long, that is me and that is intuitive guide guidance and that is energy work.



[7:39] VL: I love all of this, and we talk about it a little bit on the show but we've been starting to incorporate it more and more that intuition, you know, really connecting with what feels good for you living a more intentional, all of this, and we talked about it a little bit on the show but we've been starting to incorporate it more than more than intuition, really connecting with what feels good for you living a more intentional and aligned life.


What I'd love to start with is, how can we figure out that feeling of like yes what I'm doing right now is right for me or it's not right for me. You said that when you were in your corporate job, you started to get this sense that, Okay wait, maybe this isn't for me or maybe this isn't in my alignment or my wheelhouse, like how do we how do we know, how do we know.




[8:28] JM: Yeah, so there was, there was a couple of really big, sort of like alarm bells or warning signs for me and at first it started up more subtle as, you know signs from the universe or, you know your Self, your soul speaking to always do, they start off a little more subtle. And, you know, if you keep ignoring it, it's gonna get all of a sudden it's just like, Alright we are going to do something major to get your attention. So for me it started out with, you know, even I used to hop out of bed in the morning and be so excited to go, you know, make a difference at this company.


Yeah, so there was, there was a couple of really big, sort of like alarm bells or warning signs for me and at first it started up more subtle as, you know signs from the universe or, you know your Self, your soul speaking to always do, they start off a little more subtle. And, you know, if you keep ignoring it, it's gonna get all of a sudden it's just like, Alright we are going to do something major to get your attention. So for me it started out with, you know, even I used to hop out of bed in the morning and be so excited to go, you know, make a difference at this company.


I learned started to be the way I would react to people, you know, working and my job was in operations so working in operations here, like the fixer and the, you know, the sort of one that puts out the fires and you're the one that keeps the business operating smoothly, you know you're like that duck on the pond where it looks all calm and underneath the surface, your legs are just kicking away but no one sees what's going on under the surface, but you know people would come and ask me for, you know, something that would make their job easier or, You know, can you, can you fix this area of the business and I started getting reactive to it. I started feeling this real.


And now I know what it is but at the time, I was feeling this real, like, almost sort of fire in my solar plexus so that area sort of right where your ribs meet up. And that was this feeling of someone else is controlling my time, someone else is, you know, making these decisions for what my day looks like and I was starting to really struggle with that because one of my core values is freedom. And so this felt like it was really really like crossing boundaries, stepping into one of my core values. That was not feeling good and I would react I would be, you know, very much whether I would say it out loud or not is a different story but I didn't feel it in my body, I would feel that reaction, my solar plexus and just be like, Oh, I don't want this.


You know another sign was showing up at the office.


I would park my car and I would go walk to the front door, and I could feel.

I could almost feel my body, my energy shrink it, like I just felt, you know you can feel it if you're, if you're having a conversation with your friend and you're talking about something that you're really passionate about you sit up taller, your shoulders are back, you're more open, we are more expressive versus like walking into this office, I would, atomic get from my car to the front door, you know my shoulders were almost like rolled forward.


I felt a little bit tired, I just felt myself getting small. And by the time I would walk up the stairs to my desk, I was like, Oh, I just feel like this, shrunken version of myself.

That doesn't feel good when you're sitting in that for a time. And you know when I would compare that to going and doing my, my practice, energy healing and energy work and, like, intuitive guidance when I was still, you know, like, doing sort of my training with my mentor. I feel so different I feel so alive, I could be so tired from my day when I get there and all of a sudden, my shoulders are back, my hearts open my, you know the energy in my voice is different because I'm excited and I was like, Yes, this is, this is lighting out, and I feel so free and I feel like, you know, my energy, my, my body my being just feels so much bigger than I actually am physically.


So, those were sort of the real tells for me.



[12:58] VL: Yeah, it was what I found interesting was that you used to be really inspired by and excited for your job and then over time that started to change. And I think the other key piece to part of your journey is that, you know you've, you have there was something else that was trying to lighten you up. And it was almost like a moment or the person that you need to meet, to show you that actually you can feel better in your body you can be excited about something again and you can feel more connected to freedom and your other core values, we talked about core values actually quite a few episodes in the, In the show, and I love how each guest brought up core values has a different meaning. So, if we could just kind of briefly into what core values are and maybe how we can connect to that.



[13:58] JM: Yeah, I have done, as I'm sure many of you have done quizzes done so many, like, you know, test score activities to find out what your core values are. I've pulled, family and friends that know me really well. You know I did an exercise in brown workshop where we had to sit with a stranger, and tell a story that felt like it really summed us up and that stranger than pits your values out of the story, and, you know, Of all the times I've gotten as my values are, like, you know even strangers are picking out my values, you know exactly how I would describe them. So for me, you know like how do I get to the core values like what's really important to me, what's a non negotiable. What is something that, you know, it's almost like this, guiding light for how you make your decisions. You know I said earlier that one of my, one of my core values is freedom. And, you know for me freedom is, you know, being able to be the one in charge of my calendar, you know, I get to decide what I do with my days what I do with my time freedom also has, you know, for me it has to do with being able to go on adventures, which is also one of my core values So freedom is like having that time and having that space to go on adventures.


You know, so if I'm ever. If I was ever to go back working for someone. this, you know like looking at holidays like what's the vacation schedule like, Okay, you say I get two weeks. Can we negotiate on that or can I take some time unpaid, and I'm okay taking it unpaid because I need to know that I have freedom I have that extra space to go do the things that make me feel lit up.


You know, another one for me like I said is adventure and adventure is, you know, it's traveling for me mostly and I know you and I've talked about that in other conversations, and I love to Guatemala, and, you know, that adventure I think I would guess that adventure is one for you also.


And, you know, I think just really, a really good way to do your values is just to sort of think about think about the things that you couldn't live without, like, think about the things that you spend a lot of your time doing or that you could do, and almost like not even realize that you've spent an entire day doing it or think of, you know, sort of the the people that you're drawn to what do they have in common. And, you know, for, for me, having those in place is such, like, it just helps you make so many more decisions right like does this play into what makes me feel good. What I know like, you know, so I think that's, that's probably the best place to start when we're talking about, you know, living in alignment, how do you find your alignment. Start with your start with your values first start with the things that are most important to know there's tons of books or even websites where you can get a list of words to sort of spark creativity.


But then, I would encourage you to question a little bit further, and from that word.


Write your own definition. What does that word mean to you, because you know something that, you know like, if you and I both share connection as a value connection is going to play out in my life, probably different than how it plays out in your life. So I think having that word and then also defining what that word means for you is just, you know that next step, that just makes the decision making process, or you know just answering that question, is this in alignment with the way I want to live my life. It just makes it so much easier.



[18:19] VL: So many great points. Definitely freedom and adventure, are part of my core values 100% Adventure definitely knowing your core values is helping you make decisions.


I mean there's so many things that last part about defining what the word means for you I think that is a really important piece for everybody because exactly like you and I could have very similar core values and they need to make us feel like we're very similar in a lot of ways, but let's circle back to making decisions off of our core values like how, how do we know that we're making the right decision, how do we, how we go abou that?




[19:06] JM: Yeah so I think, you know once you've defined your core values, have them written down somewhere to have them, have them in a notebook, have them somewhere that you can reflect back on them because you just might forget them or it's not, you know, front of mind when you're making a decision, so it's always good to just have, you know, whether it's sticking out, whether it's in a notebook whether notes on your phone, whatever that looks like for you. So, knowing your values.


And then, you know, sort of having that in your mind, and then I like this is this is my favorite way to make a decision and like seeing if it's in alignment or not, is, you know, sort of connecting with your breath. Take a few deep breaths, really sort of get balanced.


Get clear get grounded, you know, just really sort of get in touch with your body.


And then, you know, say to yourself, like let's use the example of another job. So you get this job offer, and you're like, oh my gosh, this was more money than I ever thought I would make.


But, you know like that might feel really expensive, you may be like oh my gosh this is amazing. That was so good I never thought I would like reach this sort of like financial goal or like a goal that's so much better than I ever thought.


You're expected to be available in the evenings to answer emails or you're expected to be available to your team, you know, through text message or, you know, even phone calls or something on the weekends. So, how does that feel if your value is freedom. That doesn't feel very free, and you can probably feel your body start, start to get a little bit small start to shrink because you're like, oh, okay, so it's more money, which, you know, pay for more adventure or it's like, you know, freedom of time I can pay for like house cleaners or meal service. Oh but then on the other hand, my time isn't my time anymore, I have to be available 24 seven. That feels really, you know, that feels really constricting.


You'll feel it in your body. And so we can even do out with, you know, just take a breath right now and sort of tune into your body, and then you can do it with all sorts of words like if I say the word creative.

How does that feel in your body?



[22:15] VL: I've been doing a lot of work with this recently, creative feels so good on my body to this point where I like, I want to open up, and I might almost leaning closer into this, like, into the Word.



[22:29] JM: And then if I was to say something like, it's time to do all your taxes. It might just feel a bit flat right.



[22:41] VL: Yeah, I actually think I'm a weirdo sometimes.I don't mind so I don't actually do my own taxes, I prepare the information to have someone do my taxes, wonderful, but I, I kind of like looking at the analytics of the year. It's not my favorite thing to do, but I only do it like either once a month or, at the end of the year I kind of wrap it all up. I think if you said desk job my whole body would just close up.



[22:23] JM: Yeah, that's a really good example. You know and so for anyone listening like just say that to yourself desk job, and, you know, for some people, they might be like, Oh my gosh, you know that, that just sounds like the worst thing imaginable and for other people, they're like you know, I couldn't like working at a desk I like looking at a computer I like being in an office I like the interaction I have with people. So, you know, there's no, there's no wrong answer, it's whatever answer. Feels good, or feels, you know like expensive. Or what if it feels constricted. And so that's, that's the sort of feeling you want to get in tune with, and you can use that to make decisions for anything, like, you know, if you're, if you're just in a bit of a funnel for a couple hours during the day, you can even say, you know, maybe I just need a nap.


And you're all of a sudden, like, oh you know what that feels so supportive for me right now I could just feel like my entire body relaxed, it feels like all of this pressure on myself, has, has just released, you know, versus maybe you're, you're in a bit of that fun. Can you say like, Oh, I'm just gonna check off my to do list.


Maybe feels good to you. Maybe you're like no that feels really, it doesn't feel supportive helpful it doesn't feel like that's what I need right now so even just asking yourself those questions, and how does your body feel.


And then, whether that is like you, Valerie like being this multi passionate entrepreneur and you wear a ton of hats you know like that might feel really good for you and I'm sure that's why you're doing it because it does feel good for you but for other people, you know, they might be like oh my gosh, I don't know how. I don't know how she can do all these things because for me that feels very like, you know, it just feels like too much so you know it's that it's that really just connecting to your body and what feels good for you, and then start taking action on that and start, like, trusting what your body what your soul is telling you, and it makes it, you know like doing doing that practice makes it so much easier to, to trust what your body is telling you, you know, it makes it so much easier to trust. You know for me, walking away from this like super comfy job, but didn't feel good. I was like, I know that there's something so much better over here for me because, you know I've proved to myself I've proved my ego. You know I've proved that by following what feels good for my body that ends up being good for my life, or, you know, for this life that I want to live overall so get into the practice and start small and almost train your ego to be like, okay, it might be scary, but I know that it always turns out for the best when we, when we trust her intuition when we trust our soul and we trust our body.



[27:25] VL: so much value and I like in everything that you're saying, I love how you keep reminding us that it really is a practice it's a practice to get to know ourselves it's a practice to ask the questions that are more supportive and more helpful it's a practice to take the steps to live closer to that aligned space, and a lot of times that can be really scary, because, you know, your, your, your life before air quotes before what you're doing now. It's not a bad thing. When you weren't hurting yourself or other people but at the same time like it wasn't as fulfilling as it could be. Right, well that's what it sounds like from like exactly what you're sharing Exactly.


And, and you probably teach this, or you've heard this before but when, when it comes to like manifesting and drawing who's into your life and attracting things. It's always like this or something better, yeah right where it's like, I wish to bring this into my life or something better. And I think we forget that sometimes I think we forget because we're, we are living so much in a very kind of short sighted space, and we don't realize that like, hey, something better does exist, and it's as simple as asking ourselves these daily questions and having this daily practice of getting in touch, more and more of itself. and it's not easy work all the time, like I said, like you said that those steps to go into alignment. Those are, those can be big leaps sometimes to quit jobs to be relationships to, you know, go out on a limb and buy the ticket to Guatemala, even though you have no idea what you're doing.



[29:17] JM: Yeah, yeah, it totally is. And, you know like with with that job that I was at, I manifested that, like, to, to the tee, like I had in my mind what my office would look like. And it did look like that I had in my mind what my boss would be like, and that was that and, you know, I, I completely manifested that job, and for a time it was brilliant. It was exactly what I needed, it can be really scary to be like, I'm in this, this role that I, I created it with the universe like I made this happen I manifested it, but now it doesn't feel good anymore. And, and so it is. It is scary. It is scary to like take that late being like, this is what I wanted so bad and I made it happen.


it can be really scary to be like, I'm in this, this role that I, I created it with the universe like I made this happen I manifested it, but now it doesn't feel good anymore. And, and so it is. It is scary. It is scary to like take that late being like, this is what I wanted so bad and I made it happen.


And I, you know, like I said the office was exactly how it was in my mind and I can do the gun. I can take that I can do the gun. I can take that lead and I can do it again. But it takes trust and it takes practice, and I think, I think, you know the reason why it is such a practice is because you have to.


You almost have to learn to start trusting the signs because you don't, you know like if you're, if you're creating this big life for yourself if you're trying to manifest something you don't really get to have the roadmap in front of you right now, like you get to know you don't get to see like, point A through two points.


You might see like a B and maybe C, and you need to just trust that like, once you get to C point D is gonna start showing up.


So, You know this is just all these little practices just taking these little baby steps, and, you know, making it a habit, making it a habit to like, trust yourself and to, to check in with yourself and ask these questions. Just, you know, it makes me so happy faster and it makes it easier and you know I always say that, you go from taking little baby steps, and then all of a sudden the Baby Steps turn into life, you know, maybe a bigger stuff, and then they turn into a week, and then they turn it into just like a jump off the cliff.



[31:33] VL: Yeah… Absolutely. The journey and then exactly what you said, like you see points A, B and C, and maybe D and then. But as you go, these, these new opportunities in ways reveal themselves to you, and I think it kind of goes back to what you said about like how you're a different person after leaving that corporate job because you, you couldn't have been, I don't know.


This is just like my speculation slash what I'm picking up. Here are your journey and your story is that I don't know if you would have been courageous enough to take that leap away from what you manifested, without doing the work to get you to that point first, it was almost like you needed to show your ego like yeah we can do this like I did this, I know what I'm doing, to be able to do that. So let's, let's talk about that trust more How are the ways we can build trust with ourselves, and trust our intuition more. How do we make that a habit?



[32:32] JM: Yeah, I definitely think, you know, there's, there's a ton of tools I could, I could tell you like 20 different ways to do it but I think you need to sort of pick what resonates for you.


And I do think one of the easiest ways to start is just like when you wake up in the morning, you know before you check your phone before you get into bed before you do anything, you know, just sort of check in and be like, what is it that I need today, what do I need to feel supported, or, you know, you can even ask like, you know, what is it that I need to know today, and just trust whatever answer pops into your head. And, you know, you might not be ready to take action on it. If this is brand new to you, but you might be like, okay, okay, so this is what I need to do today or this is what my intuition is telling me to do today.


And, you know like slowly you'll be like okay I kind of keep getting the same answer. So maybe I should take some action on that, you know, like it's just having, it's about opening up this conversation with your intuition, with your higher self, with the universe, you know, whatever, whatever sort of name you want to give it.


I think another really fun practice, you know, especially if you're learning to like trust. The signs and trust, you know, everything that's being put in front of you and like I said it'll start off quiet until it gets like, you know, super obvious like flashing lights in your face. But, you know, you could say, okay, universe. I, I want to start manifesting this, but I don't really trust I don't really know how this works. So, you know, I just want you to show me a sign. And that's fine could be, you know, show me a rhinoceros.


And, you know, pick whatever you want, pick something that's not, you know, felt like, that's not something you see every single day in your life that you know like, if I go outside in Vancouver, I'm going to see a crow, because I see a crow every single day, no matter which door, I have my apartment I leave no matter what time of day I leave, there's always a crow so probably not a good example, but a rhinoceros, not seeing one of those walking down the street in Vancouver, and you might be like, never gonna see rhinoceros, but then you turn on the TV, and there's a rhinoceros on the TV, or you overhear a conversation with some kids talking about rhinoceros, or it's on, you know the cover of an album that you're listening to, You know, so it's, it might be a really subtle sign, it might be something that's not super noticeable, but it's about, you know, like asking for that sign and then being open to you know like opening your awareness being like open to look around and notice the signs.


Having fun with it too, like it doesn't need to be so serious, have some fun with it and open up a conversation with your higher self.


Ask for what it is that you want. Ask for what it is that you need to know.


You know, trust, trust the first thing that pops into your head and go with it and take action on it and see how it feels. And, you know, then let's do that tomorrow and the day after that, the day after that. And, you know like signs are going to come in a much more obvious way much more open to receiving.


You know you're going to your intuition is going to talk to you louder. Like right now, you could be like, you know this, just popped into my head it was like a whisper, like how do I know if that's even what it is, you take action on it or you acknowledge it.


And then, you know, eventually that voice, you know, starts to wake up and it's like, oh you're starting to listen to me now we're starting to talk, okay I'm going to talk louder, I'm going to talk in a way that like so much easier for you to hear it's almost like you're giving your intuition, some like confidence to speak up and to talk louder.



[37:03] VL: I love it so much. It's funny because there's so much. It's funny because I totally forgot about this exercise but I do it all the time. I ordered this book, Online once, and it came in this tea. It was this like smaller than my palm of my hand, and it's an abundance book and I cannot remember for the life of me, but when I do remember I'll put it in the show notes page for this episode, but it has these little, these little experiments that they teach you how to do for manifesting.


For me they teach you how to do for manifesting. And the first one is attracting a green car into your life and you need to see a green card, and the other one is, I think, a yellow butterfly. So, I don't remember what month that was when I read this but I remember I was with my partner at the time and I said let's do this let's, let's do this together and let's see what we can attract, and he wasn't open to all of this as I am.


No problem. However, the next day I was like, I saw two queen cars, two of them, which was amazing. I don't have a green car so this is like a not this is not very common for me. And he said, Oh, I didn't see anything. So I was like okay cool, cool, cool, but he said I also wasn't really paying attention like I wasn't really looking for it, but because we had started this experiment, I started noticing the colors of the cars that I was driving around. And to this day, this was years ago. To this day, I see a green car almost 100% of the time that I drive. And I've actually attached, the green car symbol, or Omen, as a symbol and reminder for me, that abundance is always around me, and it's like always accessible, so sometimes I'll see like a bright green car and it's like a big truck and I know that this is like a sign that there's a lot of abundance in my life or a lot of abundance is coming. And sometimes I'll see like, it's green, but it's kind of a blue color but I'm like, it's kind of green like it's, it's an odd color for a car but I see it as green. And so that to me shows me that like abundance comes to me in different ways that I'm not expecting. And then there's a car that's typically parked outside, one of the houses on the way to my parents house so if I take that route. I often see the car, I don't always see the car but it often to the car. And so when I see that car, I'm reminded that there are places that I can always go to that have abundance in them so like, like for myself I teach Pilates.


And I also do my online mentorship and coaching, and I know that I'll never be out of a job. I know this because I've always done my own thing, I have not had that journey of living in the corporate world, I've done a few like desk jobs, if you will, however, it was all like yoga, Pilates my own business has always been a part of my life. And so I know that like, I know how to, how to bring abundance into my life, I know how to make money by myself and I don't typically I don't need anything else I just know like, yeah you know what I mean. In these areas, so it's, it's really cool and I feel like the more excited you get and the more gratitude you feel for when you get outside, you're like, I got this. Thank you. I saw the green car yeah thank you I saw the I saw the rhino, and it's not always a moving car sometimes it's a picture or sometimes it's like a meme online that we see and it's just like oh my god that's a rhino, and it's amazing how many green cars I see now like It's almost scary or annoying, but I always acknowledged as so when I'm driving, no matter what's happening of our lifestyle to go to an amazing song. I see a green card or my green car every day. 



[39:58] JM: You know, like, add on to that, to this to this exercise is giving gratitude and being like, thanks to universe. I see you, I see what's going on.


And I really love that you have now attached a meaning to it, and, you know, I do that a lot with people, you know like people that I've lost, and I lost an uncle.


I guess two years ago and we were really close and you know he was a part of my, my life for a long time and you know like we spent a lot of time with him and his kids and you know here's someone very important to me very close to me, and the sign for him is an El Camino, which is you know like one of those car, truck, things.


You know, if I'm out and out and about walking around or driving or sleeping in my house if I start thinking about like I wonder how my uncle Dawn is literally in El Camino, but like, drive by for someone on TV is driving one, and it's always my uncle dawn. Miss you, you know like just acknowledging that because you can, you know like, like you're saying what the car, the green car for you as a sign of abundance. So you've now attached, meaning to that and so every time you see that car. But the universe or, you know, source or your higher self, communicating with you and being like, hey, just remember, like, so much abundance for you, or you know I love that you even have like different shades of green or there's like a spectrum of abundance for you. So that's something that you can totally do like it's a fun practice that you make your own and you make it something that is super meaningful for you and it doesn't have to make sense for anyone else. And it doesn't have to be the science that they receive. You know, because it's, it's personal, it's, it's your, you know it's like your secret language with the universe.



[43:25] VL: That’s really fun.I love that. Yeah, I know what and when you're, I will admit when you're first starting out I just remember reading like so many personal development books and they all say, is so they all say the same things which is because this is what works, and almost every single one of them will say just do the weird, wacky kooky stuff that your intuitive guy tells you to do, or like your coach tells you to do.


I think it's really important to as you're learning how to trust yourself more. It's keeping like what we've been talking about this whole time like keep coming back to your core values and being in alignment, because that's how you start to.


That's how you start to interpret or understand the signs that you're saying, better. Like for me, the green car thing was just green car in the beginning, and then it started to be, oh well this is a very vibrant car, or this is a huge green truck. And then I started incorporating it myself. As these different meanings so yeah it's really, it's really powerful and it's really it's actually really fun when you start to get into it and I feel like the connection, the core values to come back to them every day, every day I like that and I like that you said that kind of intention of the day, like how do I want to do I need to meet, to bring me into this space and there's asking those questions, not just living this automatic life but really becoming like more aware, more intentional and not taking mediocre as, like, your answer like it's not fulfillment at that point.



[45:00] JM: If we can just, we could go down an entire other path with this conversation. So I'll stop but yeah I really love what you said.



[45:10] VL:Everything you said is so important and it's such a great reminder for people who have practice things like this before it's also kind of a very broad introduction to it all. And I can imagine people having additional questions. So where can we find you. Where can we follow you. How can we support your business and also support our own intuitive journey?



IG | @moonrise_soul

Website | moonrisesoul.com



Rapid Fire Round

1. What are you currently reading? Or What is your favourite book?

JM: My favorite book is The Alchemist. I was given that for my birthday one year and I read it on a flight to perhaps Nicaragua, and I read it before, like I'd finished the book before the plane even took off from Vancouver, it was, I couldn't get enough of it and I read it 100 times. 


So I'm reading that I'm also reading a really interesting psychology book about Donald Trump, written by one of his nieces. So it's a bit off brand for me, but it's incredibly fascinating because I love, love psychology and all of the like all of the ways our upbringing shapes who we are. So yeah those are my, my favorite read of my current read.



2. What do you love most about being a woman?

JM: Oh my gosh, okay. What I love most. the connection that you know that women have with other women, I think, as kids you know you're as girls, you're really encouraged to, you know, sort of build this, this really tight bond with your girlfriends and this, you know, community and I have such an amazing group of women in my life, and they are all you know one of my friends, her dad says to us all the time like, oh my gosh, all of you together could run the world, and you know it's it's true and we're all in the same room together like it's a force, it's super supportive, they are you know the people that you can go to for advice for support for, you know, fun, if you just need to have a cry. You know, it's, it's almost expected as women and I think men don't necessarily have that as much and that always makes me feel a little bit sad for them because, you know, there's nothing like being surrounded by your closest girlfriends and just, you can leave an interaction like that just having your heart, exploding with goodness.



3. What does empowerment mean to you?

JM: yeah that's that's something that I did on in my business and you know just life in general, you know, with all the little women in my life I have a lot of nieces and a stepdaughter and I want to teach them, you know, for me it's about like, what skills do I have, what, what am I really good at what are the things that I do, sort of naturally or easily. And, you know, how can I teach others to do that for themselves, and you know when it comes to all the little women in my life. It's very much like how do, how do I help teach you to have a voice to, you know, make your own decisions and to think for yourself and you know to be a bit of a rebel.

You know, I think, you know, like I said in the question right before that it's about the connection with girlfriends like, it's important to have that support for sure but I think it's really important that you can get through life without a lot of hand holding like you need the support and you need people to help build you up. But for me, empowerment is about, you know, sort of equipping yourself with the skills to be able to you know to forge your own path and you know sort of guide other people and share. Share your knowledge, your wisdom on too.



4. What are you currently working toward?

JM: You know, I think, you know, like I said in the question right before that it's about the connection with girlfriends like, it's important to have that support for sure but I think it's really important that you can get through life without a lot of hand holding like you need the support and you need people to help build you up. But for me, empowerment is about, you know, sort of equipping yourself with the skills to be able to you know to forge your own path and you know sort of guide other people and share. Share your knowledge, your wisdom on to. 

You know, I think, you know, like I said in the question right before that it's about the connection with girlfriends like, it's important to have that support for sure but I think it's really important that you can get through life without a lot of hand holding like you need the support and you need people to help build you up. But for me, empowerment is about, you know, sort of equipping yourself with the skills to be able to you know to forge your own path and you know sort of guide other people and share. Share your knowledge, your wisdom on to. 

You know, I think, you know, like I said in the question right before that it's about the connection with girlfriends like, it's important to have that support for sure but I think it's really important that you can get through life without a lot of hand holding like you need the support and you need people to help build you up. But for me, empowerment is about, you know, sort of equipping yourself with the skills to be able to you know to forge your own path and you know sort of guide other people and share. Share your knowledge, your wisdom on to. 


Book: Women Who Run with Wolves

 
Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E125: Powerful Productivity Practices
 
 

E125: Powerful Productivity Practices

Get sh*t done fast and more efficiently with these powerful practices you can start implementing right away.


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[2:20] Struggle One: Time Management

Time blocking: What gets scheduled is what gets done. Make the time in your calendar to do the work, and avoid rescheduling.

Have a specific action plan: When you get to your desk, know exactly what needs to be done. Write a check-list or plan in advance so you can easily get in the zone and stay focused.



[6:00] Struggle Two: Distractions

Focusing for Long Periods of Time, and Staying Focused on the Task at Hand

Eliminate distractions: Turn off your phone, or leave it in another room. Close down your email inbox, silence incoming calls. Let the people in your space know that you need uninterrupted time. 

[8:50] Multitasking and Keeping it all Straight

STOP MULTITASKING: Studies have shown that multitasking reduces your productivity by 40%. Stick with your action plan and tackle each task, one at a time to avoid unnecessary task switching and backtracking.

Keep a notepad close by: When new ideas or distracting thoughts pop up, write them down so you can come back to later.

Importance of Transitions



[14:35] Organizing My To Do List

E115: Mastering Your To Do List

E121: How to Ask Powerful Yes or No Questions to Connect with Your Intuition


[17:00] Prioritizing Self-Care

Rest is essential for health and productivity: There’s nothing like a quality night’s sleep to have you ready and energized for the day ahead.



[19:35] 8 Habits to do on a Sunday for a more productive week

1. Meal Planning & Meal Prepping

2. Organize & Prioritize Your To Do List

3. Time Block Your Calendar

4. Set up Habit Triggers

5. Plan Your Outfits for the Week E112: Style as Self-Care: The Comfy-Chic Formula

6. Review Your Weekly Goals

7. Complete Basic Chores

8. Plan a Fun Outing or Experience 

Let’s connect on instagram, find me @vallavignelife

 
Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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Which Episode with Sarah are you looking for?
 
 

E112: Style as Self Care: The Comfy-Chic Formula with Sarah Peel

Meet Sarah Peel of Citizenne Style & Home, as she teaches us how to shop our closets, take better care of our clothes, and create self care practices through style in her holistic lifestyle guide: Citizenne At Home…


E131: How to Incorporate Mindfulness Daily with Sarah Sturino

Learn about the nine pillars of mindfulness and how to start incorporating them into your daily practice to live a more mindful and heart-centred life, featuring special guest, Sarah Sturino…

 
Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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Categories

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Val LaVigne Life Instagram