E124: Shattering Social Media Ad Myths & Societal Norms with Hattie Dunstan
 
 

E124: Shattering Social Media Ad Myths & Societal Norms with Hattie Dunstan

Introducing Facebook and Instagram Ad Strategist, Hattie Dunstan. Join us in our conversation as Hattie shatters social media ad myths and shares secrets to her strategies, as well as her life as a working mama.


Leave a review on Apple Podcasts


[1:54] Valerie LaVigne: Welcome back to The Women's Empowerment Podcast. Today I get to introduce you to our new guest Hattie Dunstan, the owner media buyer and paid ads strategist for fun since marketing, she helps businesses get new customers through the power of small funnels and targeted Facebook/Instagram ad campaigns, Hattie has a run three of her own businesses, from the wedding industry, a sports league app, even being the director of a charity fashion show fundraiser that raised over $120,000 for cystic fibrosis Canada. She went to university for marketing management in 2005 entrepreneurship runs in Hattie's blood from her great grandfather who was a watchmaker to her grandfather, and both of her parents now have he wants to help other entrepreneurs, scale and grow their businesses so they can stay in their zone of genius. Welcome to the show. I am so excited to be speaking with you today.



[2:55] Hattie Dunstan: Oh, thanks for having me. I'm so excited I love hearing my bio read out like that. So fun!



VL: When it comes to Facebook and marketing, Instagram, and all of those ads like I get so intimidated and overwhelmed and I think the main reason for it is because I just really don't know anything about them, and when I'm asked about them. I know that you're, you're the person that comes to mind when I think of as the Facebook and Instagram ad expert, so can you tell us what these are, why we need them in our business?



[3:42] HD: Yeah, so I always think Facebook and Instagram ads are an integral part of your overall marketing ecosystem. Of course you need your organic Instagram posting your SEO for your website your emails, your email campaigns, but it takes so many touchpoints to get someone to actually purchase something. It takes like 13 times it's telling someone repeatedly hey this is what I sell before they purchase that running an ad just even a reminder ad takes some of the pressure off of entrepreneur like we wear so many hats. And just to have a constant, another little touch point for our customers that we don't have to constantly be posting about is just, I don't know as soon as I started running ads for my businesses like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulder. I didn't have to be in that hustle, that draining hustle and only 10% of our followers see our beautiful organic posts. So, pay a little money to go find it and show it to more people. That's what I think.



[4:45] VL: Yeah, that's a really interesting. I'm really glad you said that because it feels like we put so much effort into creating this amazing content. And then I also feel like a broken record when I, I don't, I don't know if I'm like, am I being too pushy when I talk about this, I'm like, do people even hear me when I talked about this, I tried something once where I posted kind of the same type of message every day for a week I just changed up the stories a little bit, and I noticed that there were some people who are watching my stories on Friday who didn't see my story on Monday, even though I said the exact same thing and I was like, Oh my god. Do I really have to say this 10 times.



You do like you actually do because not everyone is seeing your stuff there's like five people who watch every story that I've ever posted, and then everyone else just like wait, I don't even know how this works.



Okay, This feels important for my business to, to have an ad, it feels like when you were talking about it for like a weight lifted off my shoulders a little bit.



Now, my following I have like, just over 2000 followers, like tell me about this. Do I need to have a certain amount of followers to run ads?



[6:00] HD: Let's bust the myths! When people are like, oh I don't have 10k Like I don't have the swipe up feature. You can run ads if you have 100 followers, I just bought a $27 offer from an ad for ad was fantastic. I clicked on her incidences she had 200 followers, you can run ads for anything, and I love that you said, I sound like a broken record, and I'm always say to my clients. If you sound like a broken record when you're promoting your sales pitches, you're doing it right, because you sound like a broken record but to everyone else, Maybe they'll finally get what you're selling. So you definitely do not have to have a big following to send those reminder ads. In fact, it's kind of nice like for 200 people on your Instagram, you only need, you know, five bucks a day, you know for 2000 Maybe you only need 10,000 for 10 bucks.

You need a smaller budget, smaller audience smaller budgets so it's, you can run it with whatever but with whatever followers 



[7:03] VL: Yeah, amazing so you did talk about budgets and I feel like you kind of busted this myth a little bit so we only really need $5 A day to run an ad? Let’s talk about that.



HD: So, okay, you need $5 A day to run a retargeting ad, which is showing, anyone that's landed on your website, anyone that's landed on your Instagram page, I always suggest you know the minimum that you can spend is five bucks a day just a gentle reminder. Here I am, this is what I sell this is what I do, here's how I'm gonna transform your life.



That can be $5 a day. But if you're trying to reach new audiences, new eyeballs and grow your email list, scale, outside of your website visitors, or your Instagram follower, that we probably would push up to like $20 A day like, let's invest some, some, some point behind that.



[8:15] VL: Okay, so we don't have to have a huge following, and even $20 A day like I can just get here, if you've ever been in advertising and marketing. $20 a day for an ad is like wait what?



HD: this is my proposal package it literally says this will be 10 times cheaper than a newsprint magazine. I'll see you can track everything like you know exactly where that leads came from where the form got filled out. Did it come from the ad, like it's, like, I love ads. You can see everything can track everything, and such as data geeks



VL: this is what's important, because like I always tell people, especially in my habit workshops like what gets measured is what gets moved, if you're not tracking it, then you don't know where you need to, to improve I was telling actually at a workshop today, and I was telling everyone that I have this new water bottle that lights up when I'm behind on my drinking right now. And we got like super nerdy about it.


VAL’S “HIDRATE SPARK” WATER BOTTLE


it has this app that you can download and every time you drink it records it on your phone via Bluetooth, and I was noticing that every Sunday, I wasn't, I wasn't reaching my goal, just on Sundays, it was like totally break my streak away. Why can I drink water on Sundays, and when I really, when I really thought about it I'm like well, on Sundays, I spend like I really have a slow morning or I drink my coffee forever like I drink it until it's cold, basically. And because of that, I'm not drinking water and then I'm like, oh my goodness, this is why but I would have never really noticed that unless I was tracking it and then like reviewing the data and the insights of my, my water.



And this is what's so valuable. I think about what you do is that there's this tangible piece of its data to show people like this is what, like this is the transformation that we made together.



[10:05] HD: Yeah, I love showing concrete numbers I love showing Hey, this customer dollar per email subscriber and then we'll go into your email campaigns and be like hey look this actually converted to a $350 sale, so that $2 You spent converted into a 350 sale. It's I my monthly like reporting days I'm like, nobody interrupts me, I'm doing my data deep dive here.



Yeah, it's just like it's so good to track and a lot of people, they they don't know what to track, or be they don't know that like, they look at Google Analytics or they look at the ads manager and they're just like, oh my gosh what are all these four numbers are.



VL: Yeah well, and I was saying before, like I'm really overwhelmed by all of the information like how, how do you set these up and then how do you read this is a different language so to have someone like you to really help you like translate all of it, and then help you kind of look through the data and say that these are the insights that's important and these are the insights that are not so important, or this is where we can improve and all of that data is so important for the client so okay we went through a couple of minutes. You don't have to have a huge following, you don't have to have a huge budget. You don't have to know what you're doing if you hire someone to help you.

Are there any other common myths about Facebook and Instagram ads that you like to bust?



HD: I think the biggest one is also people think, if they're not a huge brand like they see constantly like Hudson Bay's in their feet with ads apples in their feed with ads, they see all these huge brands and I think I'm really trying to reach the small businesses, the makers the creative, because we don't see their ads as much so other small businesses don't realize that potential for them you can run ads.



I think a lot of the time they really think, oh it's just for big brands, I don't have that kind of budget, or I don't have that.



Whatever the reason is, so I really am trying to reach small businesses and everyone can run ads on Facebook and Instagram.



[12:17] VL: Okay, so question though, do you have to have a business page on Instagram to run ads?



HD: Yes, if you want to run Instagram ads you would have to switch it to a business page. Okay. But, Instagram and Facebook love, I know some people are nervous about switching the business in case their reach falls are there, their organic reach falls, but Instagram and Facebook love people who spend money on their app. So we've found that as soon as you start spending money on app, even your non sponsored posts do better, because Facebook and Instagram will realize, oh, this person is paying their client val of ours, we're going to help them out with their organic posting as well.



VL: that's so interesting and really good to note because everyone's like this is my YouTube algorithm and blah blah blah. So it's like, I don't have time to learn how Instagram works and how it changes every two weeks like you can't we just can't we just do the things organically or naturally and I, you know what I think. This is what the app was designed to do, like, yes, in the beginning, everything was free and they didn't have these paid ads but come on, you know that this was like my main goal for Instagram and Facebook is to make money. 



HD: Absolutely, yeah like sometimes people get upset and I'm like, free platform. They make money, like, what has to happen. So yeah, it's way better, I think rather than joining like engagement pods and all these like Instagram hacks to put $5 behind a wicked Instagram strategy for paid ads and your daily posts will fly



VL: I feel like the wheels are turning and I have a lot of ideas now, we'll have a look at working together soon. Awesome, so maybe I'll save those for later. Okay, excellent. So where do we start is, are there things that we need to do before we make an ad?



[14:17] HD: I would definitely say, we always okay so when I start with a client when I'm talking to a student, I always ask them if they're on Shopify or whatever websites they're on what's the conversion rate for their website. So if they don't have a very good conversion rate. Maybe the website isn't conversion rate meaning, how many people land on their website, versus how many sales they got. So if they don't have a very good conversion rate, then I say, okay, maybe you should look at your website and try to figure out how you can increase that conversion rate maybe your website that dated. Maybe it's 10 years old, so I really want people to have a strong already proven their business by having sales and a good conversion rate. So websites, the number one thing you look at. We also like people to have some sort of email funnel. If they're running to new audiences ads, because if they click on an ad, a prospect clicks on an ad, what happens, can't just send them to their website, we want to collect that data. So either through an email or a phone call like what's happening. I always ask the people what will happen to these leads we get from the ad, because a big part of my job is yes to get the lead from the ad but also what what happens afterwards I don't want them to fall off that was precious money.

So I really want to either we'll work with them to get a wicked follow up sequence, or we'll look at their current follow up sequence, and make sure have an automatic email saying hi, I'm bow. I love the podcast it's awesome. You should listen to whatever the follow up email is we look at, we make sure they have a strong follow up sequence. So website and follow up sequences kind of two number one thing.



[16:04] VL:  this really is like a whole piece. I feel like there's an entire funnel slash process slash, making sure that we're like connecting the dots and checking off the boxes and, I mean, even for me like now like looking out looking nervous again, speaking about things that are things that I like to avoid in my business.

Okay. So, typically I talk about like offerings, later on in the episode but I really do want to break down I know you have like two main offerings. Well, maybe you can tell us about them. I feel like for someone like me. I need a little bit more hand holding like, I don't necessarily have times. I have other resources that I can give. But, timewise, I don't have that so I do need a little bit of hand holding for you to say like, make sure you check this box off. Okay, I'll do this part while you do that part and then it's like it's not as scary for me that way. So can you tell us a little bit more about your offerings and how, how we can involve with them.



HD: Yeah, for sure. So, two main offerings we have our monthly retainer clients.

So our other two offerings is agile a day so it's kind of like our VIP VIP service day. And then our five day live ads class, and the number one thing from the five days live ads class that students say is like oh you're literally holding my hand through this whole thing.

So our other two offerings is ADs in a day so it's kind of like our VIP VIP service day. And then our five day live ads class, and the number one thing from the five days live ads class that students say is like oh you're literally holding my hand through this whole thing.

So personalized to each person. And we literally go through and upload at the same time, and I say, oh, ignore that. Ignore that ignore that. Ignore that option button. So they really appreciate, there's so many buttons in the ads manager. And instead of overwhelming them with ads sequence funnels and, you know, retinas test. If you really just do a retargeting ad in the ads class, which is anyone that has an Instagram following, or website can run that type of ad, and then we do, how to grow your email list type of ad. So we keep it simple. They launch and learn those two types of ads, grow your email list and retarget your followers by acquisition makes a really great success.

And the other one I have is perfect for more.

The ads midday VIP service, it's for more brick and mortar, who are trying to pivot online, who have location based. They've maybe dabbled in ads a little bit before they're savvy in their other marketing ecosystems, and they just work quickly done up and running in a full day.

Yeah, so it takes seven hours and we get the two ads up and running in one full day me and my team do it to kind of options.



[19:28] VL: So great like are already I just feel the relief again, like I'm on an emotional roller coaster right now. I feel this relief like okay cool, this feels more manageable for me to do, where I don't really need to learn every single part of the lingo, I don't need to get overwhelmed with all of the options all the buttons and all the pop ups that might come up. And he really just like, it's like on the when you get like documents you have to sign and they have like the little tabs like sign here, initial here.



HD: I’m gonna use that in my marketing that's so good. Here you go. You just, we just inspire each.



VL: Well we have a lot of friends, we have a lot of mutual friends on Instagram and on Facebook, and they're our community is very much like entrepreneurs and creatives in women who have their own businesses. So I'm wondering if there's a way that I can support you, or can support our community when I see their ads on Instagram, like what do I do, even though like, maybe their service isn't really for me but I want to support them, how do I do that.



HD: I love that you asked that I always asked like close knit friends on my head just about as fast as I could you like it, comment on it because it works the same way, if people are as organic posting. If people are commenting on a sponsored post liking it, sharing it, of course, Facebook's gonna be like, Okay, I'm going to go show it to similar people to now, she just commented on this ad that means people who run Pilates studios or podcasts are probably going to like this ad I'm going to show it to more of them. So yeah, if you see a friend, or something you like, like that, comment and share it. A great way to be supportive.



[21:27] VL: Okay, that's really cool because I didn't, I didn't really know about it because sometimes you see these polls and you're like, Well, is this person gonna see my comments or not. But then I'm like, but I don't know what I'm doing and, yeah, sometimes I share like different products or different opportunities with people who I think would really benefit from it. And then, I'm trying to think of like it's been so long since I've read it. I feel like a little bit shamed right now but I know we're working together students so I don't feel as bad.

Okay. That's really incredible, so even if, like when the next time I see your ad up I'm gonna definitely share it and like it and save it. Does that affect the amount of money we've put in to run the app so like let's say we put in our minimum $5 a day, and then some other people shared it. Do I often not pay $6 a day because it's reaching more people?



[22:13] HD: No, so you put a cap on. So you would, you can put a daily budget or lifetime budget so let's say you had $250 You got a government from the grant. I mean, a government. You wanted to spend $250 In a week you can put a lifetime budget so Facebook could go and spend that lifetime budget over seven days, or you can put a daily budget of $5 so if it reaches $5 It stops.

But I love that you brought that up, don't click on someone's ad, unless you're serious. If it's a friend, because they do pay, sometimes per click. So, my comments. I try to get is sometimes we might be paying per click.



VL: Interesting. So there's a lot of different options, maybe like I feel like we shouldn't get into too many details today because this is, This is a lot of information,



HD: but it's like learning another language, the first day of my class, live five days, my students are like, I'm like, don't worry if for anyone that didn't know I just dropped my job to the desk, because it was a jaw drop.



VL: Okay, So are there any like little extra secrets that we should know about these things, like don't click your friends out of those are going to buy.



HD: I think if you do dabble in ads right now and you're running conversion ads or traffic ads start dabbling in Messenger chatbot ads. Because of this new I don't know if you've heard of it now the new iOS 14 update that's coming up. Apple has said that they're not going to allow it anymore.

So, yeah, it's gonna be a little harder to target exactly who we want for 50% of the people or 40% Whoever uses an iOS 14 fold. So, what Facebook is coming out is, let's use Facebook's platform more so start dabbling in Messenger chat bots, because they don't have to leave the app.

That'd be my suggestion, we're kind of trying it out with clients right now before iOS 14 rolls out in the summer. So if you're not dabbler. Try messenger chat bots for a little bit. Interesting.



[24:39] VL: I wonder how that's gonna change your, your teaching and everything like that.



HD: To see yes yeah yeah I'm gonna have to add that in as one of the, one of the strategies that may be allowed in this district days.



VL: So question for you there's sometimes I get ads and I'm like you I don't want to know about these things, why am I getting an ad for this, can I then, So then I choose like hide add, not for me. Whatever the option was it was just like, not relevant.



HD: What does that do from the businesses perspective, there's just stop running is that person or people like that person, it would probably, people like that person, But also you would stop seeing that ad, and it's actually really good for the business owner, because they're not wasting money showing you the ad. If you're not going to buy from them. Stop showing the ad to you right, that's been very helpful and considerate about what you do.



[25:32] VL: Sometimes, and then maybe I should. So interesting. I feel like this is like a secret world. I don't know anything about before learning that you should do. 



HD: Yes, is I do this all the time, as a consumer running ads. If you go to like a big brand site, some small businesses are starting to do it and we do it with a lot of our clients. If you put something in your cart. I do this for contact, I put something in my cart, and leave it alone for two or three days I don't buy it. And then I get advertised here's 10% You left this in your cart. So if you're looking at something on Wayfair Amazon or, you know contacts or something, put it in your cart, wait a few days you'll probably get advertised and abandoned cart 10% off discount.



VL: Okay, so this actually leads to this so like this creeps me out when this happens because I'll put things on my Amazon cart and then they'll start being a go on Instagram and there's a carousel of everything in my car. Oh my god, the apps are talking to each other. The other thing is and this is probably a study on my phone, I do have an iPhone, but what we're talking about the other day Craig and I were talking about something random, like, like ice cream or something, and then it was getting ads for like listening to us. So, what is going on is that what they're kicking off on iOS 14.



HD: yes, so they're going to take off that they can no longer track your like Google searches or they can't track you with the Facebook tracking pixel, you'll be able to toggle it off, which is kind of silly for iOS users because then you'll start getting advertised like tattoos when really you were looking for a party for your daughter.

So I think it's in everyone's best interest to leave, you're still gonna get advertised to it just won't be targeted nicely to you. But, yeah, I think the phones are listening to even though Facebook repeatedly tells us, they're not.

It could be that someone who likes ice cream, also, like, Women Empowerment Podcast so that's how they found you.

I think their lives are definitely listening.



VL: Okay interesting but we can't confirm nor deny this.

So, okay well that's like, so I sometimes I have to say sometimes I kind of like that algorithm and the way that the ads work and the way that they drop these things because oftentimes, like it's now I don't, I don't want to advertise for things that I don't want to see, I want to get advertised for the things that I do want, even if I don't want to buy it.

Oh my goodness, it's so funny, but I feel like I buy I have on, I've had, I have purchased he's may have purchased things on Instagram before from a sponsored ad. And now, that's what kind of sucks I think because it almost makes me not want to be on that farm because I would just feel frustrated like why am I getting ads for baby diapers, I don't have a baby.

but only friends have babies, is that why I'm getting, you know what I mean like it's weird.



HD: Yeah, I would. Okay. Personally, I would keep the toggle on, but again I'm biased because I would want to find the iOS users through the audiences as an ads manager but I bought natural mascara, the other day off with an ad, I wanted to get a advertise stuff that I like. So I was I'm toggling mine on.



VL: You'll have to teach us that in like on Instagram stories or something.



HD: That’s a good idea.



VL: Yeah, I wanted to do, because it's so funny when we were when we were opening this the Pilates studio, my business partner and we want to find like very, we want to find like all black equipment so we want to like walk hand weights and booty bands and balls for the party studio. And when we, when we couldn't find it, we would go on our phones and just like Google, black, black booty bands, and then we would be like talking about funky black equipment black small equipment to pound it in black.



[29:59] HD: Yeah, oh it's so good. I love it. This panel just becomes my phone, I'll be like that. Advertising beautiful backpack.

Yeah, it's powerful, it's great. It can be great I think you except that we are in, it's a free app, if you expect that it's going to give you sponsored posts, use it for your damage, start talking to it, start hiding the ads you don't want to see training teachers show you ads that you want to see.



VL: Yeah, like liking and commenting and sharing the posts of things you want to see Absolutely. I think this is good advice for like any business as well with you and any customer. If you like someone, support them in any way that you can and yeah there are a lot of free ways to support people especially through social media, but, like, attend their workshops pay for their products, you know, sign up for their services do those things to support that person like I don't think people realize as a small business owner, you don't realize like, literally the happy dance I do when I get an email that says someone so purchased your workshop or like sign up for your workshop today and I'm like, I'm just so ecstatic to see that, so, so great. I mean even liking in the commenting in the sharing and like to see the insights and say hey, people actually care about what I'm saying, well guess what I'm going to talk about this more because you might get with the podcast episodes I look at the stats every week, and I say okay well these are the highest downloaded podcasts, so guess what I'm going to talk more about these topics I'm going to look for guests that can share more about this information like this is how this works, if you like it, share it, like message us on, on Instagram and tell us like what you loved about the episode, like let's continue this conversation so that we can make more and better content for you.



[31:52] HD: Yeah, well, really, it's the same with ads. It's so cool when you see, oh my god someone actually who I don't know who is my mom's friend's boss.

It's really, it's, it's awesome, and it's taking back control a little bit like I think people were a little bit frustrated with how Instagram over the last four or five years has really changed the algorithm and we don't see everyone's posts now and it's not chronological the theme, and so I think investing in ads, learning a little bit about a strong strategy really takes your power back in your business. And I think it's really powerful as, as is all business owners especially we don't have big budgets. So it gives us a little bit of a little bit more control.



[32:37] VL: Absolutely. Wow, this is, it's been interesting because like it's something that I wanted to do but again, like my hesitation is I just don't know where to start and I don't know where, like, I don't know. I don't even know how to do it like I wouldn't even know how do I physically go on Facebook drive on Instagram you don't answer this right now but I know you answer all of these things in your ad class and I don't want to get too deep into it where we're like, okay I just totally zoned out with, What the heck was that word but she said that I don't understand.



There's so much. I mean, we talked a lot about Facebook and Instagram and ads and all that kind of secret sauce, little things that we maybe didn't know I didn't know a lot of those things, but there's so much more to you that I would love to chat about, and one of the things that I really inspired by with you is want to call it like your lifestyle choice of being a working mom, so there's a mix of like stay at home moms and my family and working moms, My mother worked, and she's still working, she even went to school when I was 13. working teams so she was doing her graduate degree, and she was working full time, when we were Wow, yeah so it's something that like even when I was really young, I knew that I wanted to be working like I want to see like the like the options I guess you could say, as a kid I realized like, I don't want to be like my mom was she was looking into his learning and she was, you know, doing all of these things, and being a mom, I think.

I think that's really special. I think that's really cool. So can you tell us a little bit about that in your life.



HD: Yeah, I was just with our daughter, we have a 1.5 year old daughter and we just went together my husband so yeah, I know, Mom. My daughter's name is Hazel is 1.5 years old.

The decision, basically kind of when the pandemic broke out we had a nanny, part time. And, Kristin and I were both working, but when the pandemic hits the nanny couldn't come two days of the week anymore. So we kind of made the decision, it just made sense. My husband is at home with hazel, and I've been able to dive deep into my business and really grow it because I'm allowed the freedom of five days to really grow it. It's really interesting to be the main income provider as a female, and to have my husband with gender roles in western gender roles like he's a stay at home dad and I'm still working.

It's cool to see how Hazel will grow up not having those “normal” air quote gender roles.



VL: And so as as the kind of main breadwinner. And as a mom. Do you find that there are obstacles that we consider facing each day are like challenges that you have with that, how you overcome those challenges?



HD: Yeah, I have mom guilt. You mom parent guilt, whatever you want to call it, it, it's hard, it's still hard. I have with it all the time that you know if they're playing in the playroom and I hear them all day and I'm working away, and many people, You know when it's our special time in the evening, she'll cry cuz she wants her dad, my heart like if it splits into a million pieces. And I'm like oh am I doing the right thing and I always have discussions like oh look grass is always greener on the other side he's like you know I'm making this a sacrifice but like I'm staying home at Hazel like is this what's right for our family right now but I would also love to be on Zoom calls and networking, you know, working, so you know I think no matter if you're the stay at home parent, or whether you're working parents, you have always, I think just being a parent, you have to deal with it. And then what I have done is we every day at four o'clock. It's quitting time and I wake up early with her in the morning so I get time with her in the morning. At four o'clock I quit with her and we have our special traditions, I guess and I am the only one that puts her to bed. So we read books each night, we do bathtime paper to the big hit in our household.

So it's really special having just those things that people and I have together. And that's how we bond the night, I try to remind myself that providing an income for our families with different types of parenting. And still, a parent, different types. I don't know to hopefully get my guilt I guess. And I try to find traditions that people can have just the two of us, to help with the guilt but it never goes away, I cry a lot about it.



[37:25] VL: I think that's really special that you have that that transition when you finish work. Can you tell us a little bit more about the details of it, like what would, what does that ritual look like for you?



HD: We announced that we're, we have a little dance party we put on some Google Home, usually to Hell and Back, she is such a good dancer at one years old. Yeah well we will often go outside right at four o'clock, so that we can catch the light. And that's kind of our routine, and then we'll make popcorn Panther to special popcorn.



[38:14] VL: She’s so young too. so I can imagine the challenge of, you know like when she cries for dad or when, when he was like up near her in the background was there working from home too. Right. Yeah, but I think there's, like, a different way of supporting, like you said. So, whatever the choice is the lifestyle choices and the parents and I think what's really important is like to make time for Hazel and understand that what you're doing is actually supporting her in just different way than your husband is.



HD: I think it's important. You know I had Hazel and I work and support his family so that it is all about diesel progress right now so yeah I always try to put as much as I can.



VL: Oh you're so inspiring. I feel like I'm still not a mom yet but I think about it sometimes what I would do like, as long as I feel like I have this idea of the ideal mom thing that I like to be, and then every time I hear someone's story they're like, No, you're never ready. No, you're gonna do, you're gonna make mistakes you're gonna do the right things you're gonna do right, wrong things and yeah it's just like a fun, I guess it's like a fun journey and getting to know this like human being and supporting them in all the ways right. And I think it's important to have a partner who's supportive of you and like creating these boundaries. Right and like making sure that you're like, okay I have someone to hold me accountable to keep this this work life and family life boundaries.



HD: Yes, he is so good that he's really well he's also with hazel day so it's more of a like, it's a hard stop how to eat because I've been with hazel but yeah he's really really good at the boundaries. 

It's a good balance, are really happy. She's just been so great and she's almost at 18 months and everyone said, best age, and oh my gosh 18 months is the best.

It's a good balance, are really happy. She's just been so great and she's almost at 18 months and everyone said, best age, and oh my gosh 18 months is the best.



VL: I love all of your content online and I just love how like you incorporate her into like your stories and your posts like this is so smart. There was one thing she was holding your phone and you're like you're in my office hours, I'm like, yes, yes, if she answers the phone when I call you. 

My goodness. I love it. Okay, well I want to be mindful of your time because I know that you are strict with your time.



Find Hattie:

IG | @funstans 

WEBSITE | www.funstansmarketing.com



Like, share, and comment on Hattie’s ADs! 

Invite friends and makers to Hattie’s 5-Day ADs class.



Rapid Fire Round

1. What are you currently reading? Or what is your favourite book?

HD: I am such an avid bookworm. Such a voracious reader. I am currently reading. Mr. Donna Hughes, new book she wrote room in the Wonder what's her new book The Pull of the Stars, it's getting a little too close to home because it's about a nursery in the 1918 flu pandemic, like roof, we're living 100 years later, so I'm currently reading.

2. What do you love most about being a woman?

HD: I kind of okay I guess because we've talked about. I like defining or not defining like I kind of okay I guess because we've talked about. I like defining or not defining like challenging people's expectations of what a woman is. So I love that. As much as I have mom guilt I love that I'm a working mom and it's not the norm. I kind of love, breaking stereotypes. So as a woman, there's a lot of stereotypes on us. And I like shattering those.



3. What does Empowerment mean to you?

HD: Oh my gosh, this could mean so many things because empowerment to me. A lot of health, because I happen we didn't even touch on this but I had a double lung transplant in 2010. All empowered in my health, taking knowledge and science and I work hard at staying healthy a for Tristen Hazel and myself so empowerment and really empowering myself to be healthy.



VL: That's super important. If you like to have you back on for another episode. And, yeah, that sounds very intense. The fourth question I have for you is what are you currently working toward?



HD: It's kind of exciting, I'm in the process of hiring my first employees. So I'm working towards that I have some calls set up with the small business centers to really figure out exactly what I should be doing, like never hired someone before. I was excited for that next next level of nervousness about working towards.


 
Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

Asset 171.png

Categories

Download the FREE Dream Lifestyle Roadmap

Follow on Instagram

Val LaVigne Life Instagram
 
E123: Healthy Habits for Spring
 
 

E123: Healthy Habits for Spring

Check out these 12 healthy habits to start incorporating this spring season! Choose your favourites, or elevate current habits…


Leave a review on Apple Podcasts

[3:00] 1. Drink Warm Lemon Water

There are many benefits to drinking warm lemon water in the morning. Waking up and drinking water in the morning is one of the ways I love to start the day, and so do our bodies. It promotes hydration, especially after sleeping overnight with no water. 

While drinking water on its own will improve digestion, adding the juice of half a lemon can also give your body a detox boost and lemon is a great source of vitamin C. Vitamin C in lemons has been shown to reduce skin wrinkling, dry skin aging, and sun damage. We’ll talk more about skin later on.

[5:04] 2. Eat More Leafy Greens

As the seasons change, so will the foods we eat. It’s time to stop eating the same foods you were in the winter, and start eating colourful salads!

I live in Ontario Canada and here’s what’s in season for March + April: Apples, Rhubarb, Beets, Cabbage, Carrots, Mushrooms, Red + Yellow Onions, Parsnips, Potatoes, Rutabaga, Squash, Sweet Potatoes

Fresh, Springy Salads with Seasonal Produce

Greens supplements:

Pineapple Mango

Peach Flavour


[7:45] 3. Be in Nature/Outside

As the weather warms up I feel more inclined to get outside and enjoy the season. That’s not to say we haven’t made time outside in the summer, but I personally prefer the warmer weather. The last few weeks it’s actually been quite beautiful where we live and we’ve been making the most of the sunshine! 

You already know that there are heaps of benefits to being outside and out in nature. I can tell you right now that just from being outside more in the last couple weeks I’ve noticed a huge change in my mood, my weekly screen time report shows a significant decrease in the hours I’ve been spending on my phone or computer, and I’ve also been sleeping a lot better. Plus being outside is a great opportunity for us to PLAY! Which is the next healthy habit for spring...

[8:48] 4. Play

Run through the flowers, jump in the puddles, colour the sidewalks with chalk - we actually did this recently and it was a lot of fun! Play is really a habit I advocate for all year round, and honestly it’s so good for your mind, body and soul! Here are some of the benefits of play:

(Source)

  • Keeps you feeling young and energetic

  • Relieves stress

  • Helps improve your relationship and connection to others

  • Develops and improves your social skills - at every age

  • Stimulates the mind and boosts creativity

  • Can also support healing emotional wounds

  • Improves brain function

[10:00] 5. Sweat Out Toxins

You’re getting outside more, you’re playing more, why not take things up a notch and SWEAT more too! Our sweat glands help our skin filter out toxins from the body. This has many benefits including boosting our immune system, regulating our body temperature, and eliminating toxins. Plus what’s a great way to start sweating? By moving your body!

[10:56] 6. Love Your Skin

There are a few ways we can love our skin, and this is the sixth healthy habit for spring! One of my most favourite habits is Dry Skin Brushing.

To do this you will need a natural bristle brush, I prefer one with a long handle so that I can reach behind by back easier.

Handle free one that is perfect for travelling.

When dry skin brushing you want to use the natural bristles to gently, and firmly brush the skin in long strokes toward the heart, going over each area 7-10 times. Start at the soles of the feet and work your way up. At the belly, brush in a clockwise motion, and avoid the face. Do this before showering. 

Following your shower, love your skin by moisturizing your body and face with your favourite skincare products. I love doTERRA’s Verage Skincare Collection and their Moisturizing Body Mist

[13:54] 7. Breathe the Fresh Spring Air

Since you’re spending more time outside, why not take a few extra breaths of that fresh spring air. Can we all agree that breathing deep, full breaths of fresh air is very beneficial for our health, wellness, and immune system. Let’s take a deep breath together right now. First, inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth. When you’re exhaling push out ALL the air you possibly can until there is no more left. Then take a bigger, fuller breath in through the nose, and fully release through the mouth.

[15:20] 8. Mindful Reset /Slow Down

Spring is a great time for detoxing from slow winters, but it’s also a great time to reset and refresh! Get in the habit of taking a mindful moment to enjoy deep breaths, reset your energy and slow down; take some time to stop and smell the flowers!

Season change and so do our own moods, cycles, and activities. It’s important to be mindful through changes and work through the flow - for some it will be easier than for others.

[16:50] 9. Practice Gratitude

A great way to slow down and really enjoy life is to practice gratitude.

E69: What 365 Days of Gratitude Taught Me

[19:08] 10. Better Quality Sleep

E117: Evening Transitions for Better Sleep

[20:55] 11. Spring Cleaning

Home, relationships, negative thoughts/limiting beliefs

  • Declutter

  • Deep clean your fridge

  • Donate unworn clothes/home items


[22:27] 12. Gardening & Planting Seeds

Plant seedlings, get a house plant, connect with nature!

So maybe you don’t have the green thumb, no problem! Plant a different kind of seed: “plant” intentions. Remember there is lots of renewal energy in spring, lots of excitement to stat new projects

 
Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

Asset 171.png

Categories

Download the FREE Dream Lifestyle Roadmap

Follow on Instagram

Val LaVigne Life Instagram
 
E122: Supporting Our Health Through Art and Cycles with Milica Dodic
 
 

E122: Supporting Our Health Through Art and Cycles with Milica Dodic

Join me in welcoming Milica Dodic to the show, and lean in as we chat about the ongoing healing and support of our mental, emotional, and physical health through syncing with cycles and creating through art…


Leave a review on Apple Podcasts


[1:06] Valerie Lavigne: You're listening to another special episode of the women's empowerment podcast today, I get to introduce you to Milica, she's the owner of rhymes with pizza, where she creates hand painted custom nails.


Her career includes working in the film and television industry in business affairs festival programming and recruitment, with over 15 years of practice and experience with nail art, Milica has expanded her business in May 2020 to offer press on nails and educating others on proper nail care when she's not working or thinking about nails, Milica loves playing with her puppy watching TV shows and movies, and advocating for mental health.


It's so great to have you on the show today Mili we have always had a good time on Instagram, and I just love how that we share like memes and playlists and hilarious reels all about like the 90s in the early 2000s and makes me, like it makes my day I laugh so hard at all of them.


Milica Dodic: It's so funny because I just said to someone this morning that I love how people know to send me nostalgic stuff, and it just brightens up my day. I'm like, oh so I'm this person now like I'm obsessed with the 90s and 2000s and just, can you just please take me back to that time.


VL: It's such a fun like kind of little extra piece of you that we get to see on your Instagram page I love like the quizzes that you do and the stories I think they're so fun I'm like, Yes, I remember all these TV shows. Oh my gosh, I use that oh blow up backpack and like a blow of chair and, oh my gosh, just like days and days and days I just love that, and I love, I love those.


MD: I love unlocking people's memories, good ones though.


VL: Oh my gosh, you know what there was one playlist where I was like, This is triggering me, I'm not ready to listen to. Yeah, thanks. 2009 or 10 right now. But since I've known you and started following you online. I think it's been like almost 10 months I want to say, but I've really had this awesome opportunity to watch you launch and grow your company and your new press on nails which are amazing. So it's been an absolute pleasure and an inspiration just to see your creativity and your passions like really shine in the work that you do. It's incredible.


[3:32] MD: Yeah, it's, it was something that I actually kind of started doing a walk like a long time ago, probably about well, long, about five or six years ago that I was thinking of doing press on nails and then it just sort of fell to the side, and then I found that with the pandemic. I had to make some sort of switch because I wasn't, I didn't want to have people coming into my home which also doubles as my studio, and my workspace. And then I have a few friends who weren't being compromised. So I wanted to be able to offer something that, you know, still like makes people happy I guess like through.

It's basically just wearable art. That's how I view nail nail art in general. And it's just very specific stuff so I generally don't offer just like a single color it's always hand painted miniature pieces of artwork.

And, yeah, it was, it. I saw a bunch of other nailers that I follow that kind of started doing that and offering nails or press on nails. And, yeah, I just thought, why not try it.


VL: Oh, you're doing an awesome job you are a very talented artist and just like you said they're very unique and miniature canvases that's how I like to look at it too, but you are also an advocate for mental health, could you tell us more about your journey and your experience with this.


MD: Yeah. I think I even infused that in any of the work that I do, even with the press on nails. When I first started doing them it was important for me to sort of try and give back in some way and incorporate the things that I believe in so that's where like the designs for charity came in, And one of the first ones that I did was for mental health because it was for October's mental health awareness.

You know like nails have always been a way of creative expression for me, it's just sort of like, it became more of this outlet, where, where I'm able to just like you know even like express my mental state. A lot of the time people are able to tell if I'm not feeling well. When I'm not posting anything about nails, or if it's been like a while there have been times in the past where like, I wouldn't post anything for like two weeks or something.

There would be like two weeks where I'm not posting anything and you know I'll make a post and someone will be like, oh is wondering what happened like are you okay.

So, yeah, um, my journey with mental wellness is, or mental illness rather is quite a long one and an ongoing one. I suffered from a pretty bad nervous breakdown back in 2016.

And that was, it was like super difficult for me to navigate.

And because I went into a state of self isolation for probably about eight months. I didn't have a job at the time, or I did have a job but it was just so part time and fortunately they understood what was happening so it was able to work from home for a time, and then that contract was done so.

So I was stuck in such a state of like really deep depression and not knowing what I was going to do with my life and not really even knowing who I was, that, you know, the only thing that that gave me any comfort was nailart I was like the one thing that was pretty consistent in my life. Other than like watching HGTV and hallmark movies and other comfort shows. And, Yeah, it was, it was kind of like it was just really difficult trying to navigate that whole field of mental health and especially as someone that is an immigrant.

*Molly Barks*


[7:50] VL: No problem. We love it it's just an extra sound effects she's our other special guests.


MD: She has a lot to say


VL: Yeah, it sounds like it I'll have to have her on her own episode.


MD: Um, I think, you know, like as an immigrant, that's something that is such a difficult conversation to have with your family like it's not something that we ever really talked about, you know, growing up, I've probably had anxiety for a big portion of my life.

And it was just something that was not recognized So because of that, you just sort of like hide it or you push it aside and think that it's like oh I'm just being dramatic because that's what I was told.

So I partially had to try and navigate the system on my own because I didn't have conversations with friends about it. But it wasn't until I started going through some through, through it, that I started being more vulnerable and opening up the conversation with other people that they started coming to me for advice, and even just wanting to like share their experience and their story of dealing with mental illness.


[9:06] VL: And I think that's so important in. In those times already do feel very sad or anxious, or are alone, because it I find it is very isolating to feel those ways and you don't always know how to, how to manage it or how to cope or how to process those things so to be able to have friendships and support groups like that is so powerful. You shared a couple little things that really helped you, when you were struggling with, with your mental health. If someone came to you today, right now like if I told you right now that I was really struggling with my mental health, what would be your advice or what would, how would you support your friend.


MD: Um, I think, listening to what their experience is obviously so important. It's not so much about like asking questions I think that that's something that is so that the job of a therapist or a trained professional.

You know, things that are, that come from a place of empathy, I think that was one big thing that I had to learn is the difference between sympathy and empathy and it's just such an ongoing practice to try not to, like, flip it on its head and be like, well, at least, you know, blah blah blah.

I think my biggest thing is just really trying to see sit in that space as hard as it is something that my therapist told me at the beginning when I started therapy, about four years ago.

She, she would constantly say like just sit with your feelings and I'm like, but I am doing it and it's not working and she's like, After several weeks ago saying that she was like, literally sit there with your feelings do not watch TV while you're doing it don't read a book don't listen to music nothing just be there in silence and just like feel things.

So I started doing that and I was like, Oh my gosh, this is what she meant by sit with your feelings and sometimes it's not even sitting for me the thing that helps me a lot of the time is just laying on the ground, though something another friend told me is like, if you just lay down on like a cold ground like your kitchen floor, whatever, just the contrast of that, the cold against your body kind of gives you like a, like a physical cue to sort of snap out of it, I guess.

And it just allows gives me the space to, like, think because the only thing of staring at is the ceiling.

And then the other thing that helps me to was just really researching the different stuff, you know like I didn't really understand what anxiety or depression was, I just kind of knew what the surface definition of it was.

And, you know, like, No, I just believe that knowledge is power, and being able to know like what resources are available to you. And that's something that I say to people all the time, don't, don't let the, the financial aspect be be a deterrent for you. I know that a lot of therapy is not necessarily affordable but there are different resources available, where it is more accessible I think especially with the pandemic there has been a bigger.

What's the word. There's been a bigger focus on mental health and I think a lot of organizations and places of practice have realized, you know, we need to be able to offer services for a lower price or even for free.


[12:52] VL: Those are really helpful I find like what you said about laying on the floor of your kitchen floor, it’s very grounding even if you can’t get outside in the grass if you can't get there, that cold feeling and even the, the firmness of a kitchen floor typically is something that really brings you into the present moment. So, what you were saying by like, oh sitting with your feelings but not watching TV and not being on your phone and not just like talking to your dog actually sitting and being with your feelings can be really difficult to do, and as that's as you start to recognize or acknowledge the feelings or bring awareness to the feelings that are coming up. We automatically seem to want to work. We seem to want to distract ourselves from processing it from dealing with it, or from just even recognizing it so for you, what would you say if someone was like, I'm having a really hard time. Like I feel the feelings, and then I just kind of ignore them or push them back away I'm having a really hard time processing, which you say or do?


MD: I think that's, it's so difficult for me to give advice on like one tip because everybody's so individual I don't know what type of, you know, stuff, you know background, they come with or whatever. I think for me.

What helped me was, was knowing that like, you know, progress isn't linear, I might, you know, the more I practice something that better I will generally get with get get get at it.

And it's the same with like practicing sitting with your feelings, I might feel like crap one day.

And then I won't be able to you know like sit with my feelings that day because I'm just so deep in it.

It's just kind of giving myself that grace and compassion and allowing the space for things to flow essentially. I think when, when I was able to alleviate some of that pressure for myself of being like, I just need to do better like how do I learn to sit with my feelings that once that pressure was gone. That's when I was like, Okay, today I'm having an off day like I might actually just want to like, you know, I can't deal with my feelings today, I'm just gonna watch a movie. Right. And then the next day, I might have a little bit more strength or energy to actually devote time to mindfulness and being able to sit there and process things, you know in a healthier way.

I think it's even like you made a post today that was, that was basically about the like compassion piece and you know that like, you don't have to always be improving yourself or doing better and stuff, you know like, give yourself that grace period.


[15:59] VL: Yeah that's true I did post about that today, It’s an ongoing journey, or mental health is not something that okay we fixed it and now it's good to go. It's something that we're constantly working toward or nurturing maybe instead of always trying to improve improve improve. I mean there's definitely some power and positivity but I feel like the real work, and the real power comes when you can forgive yourself and when you can say like it's okay to not feel amazing every single day it's okay to not feel super happy in this moment, like, we're human beings we have emotions these emotions come and go and they go up and they go down and they go around and all of these different things. But you know that I post about and I share a lot of content about practices and habits and kind of like daily rituals and things are there any rituals or routines that you like to implement into your lifestyle maybe more frequently than not, that support your mental health.


MD: So I go to a naturopath, and that helps both in my mental like with my mental illness, and then also in like hormonal imbalance and whatever other physical issues that may be having.

And I think that that has really helped me in like keeping on track with like getting to know my body better.

That's one practice that I've implemented in like, you know, if one day, I feel like eating pizza, it's okay for me to eat pizza.

But then, you know, there are certain certain repercussions to that so just having a bit of that balance, you know like, I don't necessarily have any like daily rituals I'm kind of like bad at keeping up with the consistency of things sometimes but I think the one thing that is more consistent is like, allowing myself, the compassion to just listen to what my body needs at that particular time.

Whether it's like, you know, mindfully checking in at any point of the day, I don't necessarily start my mornings being like, Okay, what do I need right now. It's just, you know, I might start my mornings off.

You know, really frantic because the dog for example will wake me up at 630 in the morning with her crying, and that doesn't start me off on you know on a good foot in the mornings, but throughout the day I'll try and implement even like points of relaxation I find that like play for example is something that is so important to me. You know today, for example, I'm. I'm so, like, in this in my luteal phase of my cycle and I know that I get a little bit more pad top. The PMS is like a lot worse. So just being aware of what part of my cycle I'm in and kind of trying to work with that instead of against it's so important to me.

And just recognizing that like today for example I won't be able to do a lot of work so instead I might just like, watch TV, and do some painting, and then the painting something that is just a hobby.

And that's another thing that are in any of, like, my wellness practices, it's so important to have some sort of hobby that you aren't looking to make like financial gain from.


[19:44] VL: Yeah, you've made a lot of really valid and really important points, and I think that I mean if we go backwards so having a hobby that doesn't that you're not monetizing, I think is really important, and especially for myself because I'm always kind of like I really love what I do, I love my business, and there are parts of my business that make a little bit more money than others and even though. Like, like content creation for example with my Instagram. I really like making content creation, I don't get paid for every post that I do. But technically that's for work, but part of me makes the excuse of it, like, well, it's fun, and it is really fun. And I like the photography part of that I like the creativity piece to it but maybe.

So you're inspiring me to maybe just do like, or photography and less of it having to be okay this is for something, it can just be for pleasure can be for play.

Also I love that you are following your cycle, this is something that I'm also practicing more and more and specifically with like work and when I do my interviews and also when I'm doing more like intuitive, intuitive creation and not always doing, I think there's such a stigma around having to always be productive and giving yourself permission to say, well, like and check in and say how am I feeling, even if it's not every day at the same time or however, to at least give yourself that time, and that that compassion to say, Okay, well, you know what, this, this part of my cycle is where I take a break, as part of my cycle is where I push a little harder, and for women who aren't doing that yet. I think that's something that has been really game changing for me, and I find, I'm more productive when I follow the flow of my body, because I just like you're, it's like you're working with yourself and you find this like incredible life source energy within you that just, I don't know I just like I can take on the whole world sometimes even when I'm in that. Lower hormonal phase in my cycle. It's like my meditations are marked with it, and I have so many incredible and like expansive ideas for the show and for my Instagram and like how I want to serve in my workshops and all these different things so it's pretty incredible that you're doing it. Do you have you been doing it for a little while.


MD: Um, it's something that has sort of come up in conversation over the last, I would probably say like two or three months, just organically and it wasn't actually until a couple days ago that I looked into it and realized that there is a term for this it just hasn't been like medically researched as much as.

Oh my gosh, cycle thinking.

It's, it's something that like a couple friends have mentioned to me before but not like explicitly in those in that term.

So now I'm looking at like buying a couple books about it because I want to know more about it. I think even my naturopath has like sort of talked about it but hasn't been like listen let's like attack it from this. From this view.

And it's something that is just making me feel so much more empowered, instead of seeing seeing it as like, Oh, I feel like crap, this many days of the month, and I can't do anything like why am I not being productive and instead seeing it as like, this is just the state of my cycle where, as you said, like maybe I can be more creative instead of attacking things from very high energy point, you know it's it's it's working with your body rather than against it and I think that there's so much power to that and yeah it's it's exciting being able to know that there's this like whole other thing that I haven't never heard about really. It also kind of brings me back to my days of like, academia and learning about you know the luteal and follicular phase of your cycle, but like not really knowing what the heck that even means.

So now, you know like, it sucks that I'm 30, and I'm only now finding out about it. I wish that I knew about this when I was like a teenager.

So, I find that, like, the more women I'm able to talk to about this, there's just such a, for lack of a better word like a sisterhood around it right and i think that that feels so empowering to me.


[24:35] VL: Yeah, and it goes back to what you said about having that supportive community, and it's not just for mental health is for our social health and our emotional health and our physical health event. And it's cool to see how everything's really connected when you're doing cycles thinking, you will start to recognize if you haven't already that these different cycles that we go through, are very closely related to the seasons that everyone goes through every year.

So if the way that I think of it is like okay every month, I go through a year of seasons, or I go through four seasons and then working with those seasons like thinking about how in wintertime. We are a little bit more hibernating that summer probably like Netflix and chillin, and just taking it easy. And then as spring starts to come.

We're feeling a little bit more inspired and we're starting to do more things because like think about like the flowers that are or like the seeds that we planted, or are starting to plant are now coming into that blossoming time and same with summer like, that's when we're, we're harvesting all of our crops and all the flowers are like totally in bloom and we're. That's when we're like, really excited and we can do our interviews and we can just really show up and be these like really vibrant cells, and then it cycles back into fall, where things start to slow down a little bit, but it's not about like the, you know, like the dying trees are like the hibernating trees, it's more like, okay, each of the leaves are falling down this is where we're like wrapping up or wrapping up all the things that we've been doing so that we can prepare for our hibernation and I think that's such a fun and cool way to to explore and learn more about your body so I'm so excited that you're on this journey. I don't have any resources that come to my mind. Do you have any books or resources that you are looking into getting about this?

[26:27] MD: Yeah, the woman who coined the terms Cycle Syncing is named Alyssa Vitti and she wrote, WomenCode, and then she also has another book I forget the name of it. I think she's a nutritionist that's based in New York or something and basically all her work is around us and just trying to empower women to really get to know their bodies better, you know, like cycles thinking through, even incorporating things in your lifestyle and nutrition based stuff, like what things you should or shouldn't eat. According to the part of your cycle you're in.

And, yeah, I'm looking at getting the audio book for that and then probably just like the regular book for her second piece that she wrote because I think it also comes with like a bunch of recipes and stuff and I love cooking, most of the time.

So, yeah, it's kind of like this like cool new thing that I am starting to discover and it feels really fun, like you said, and it just feels like there's just so much hope behind it I think in a lot of ways in the past, especially when you're talking to doctors and stuff and this goes hand in hand with like mental illness too is that it will be really dismissive or they'll just sort of use these like three blanket terms or, you know like, general practice, things that might not actually work for your body so at the beginning of my whole mental wellness journey. I was.

I was supposed to go on an antidepressant, and I was like, This doesn't feel right for my body and I ended up listening to my body and not to the psychiatrist. So wasn't very good at her practice.

And I ended up going to a naturopath, and that has helped me so much more because we actually sit down time.

And it's not a thing where, you know, I had to have a lot of antidepressants, so I think being able to take a more holistic lifestyle is.


VL: Because we’re still on the topic of mental health resources topic, what resources would you recommend?


MD: So there's, there are a few resources about this woman specific to Toronto and Ontario for affordable therapy. I think it's affordable therapy network.com or something like that. And it's just a list of a bunch of different therapists and social workers and counselors that offer affordable rate therapies both for couples and individuals.

And that's how I found my current therapist and she's really great.

What else is there, I have also a link to a document that a friend of mine and I have combined some resources as well for not just actual like therapy but just different like links to learning a little bit more about mental health. So I can share that as well.


VL: That would be amazing. All this has been a really interesting conversation I feel like we dabbled in a little bit of everything in terms of like mindset, mental health, emotional health and also some of our physical health too. I think this is going to be really helpful for people listening. So let us know where we can find you follow you and how we can support your business?


MD:

IG | @rhymes_with_pizza

Website | www.ryhmeswithpizza.com Press on nails available on this site! And then I also take custom orders as well. Prices are, there's a large range of them. So everything is custom made, and every piece is unique because it's hand painted. And then I also offer some nail care stuff so there's cuticle oils and they're all natural.

There's three different types currently I'm probably going to be adding a couple more. And that's a little bit more affordable and it's also for people that don't necessarily want to get press on nails.


VL: Yeah, I was telling the Milica before the recording that because of how much I work in like the fitness industry and how much I use my hands I feel like I'm constantly chipping my nails and I never, I don't remember the last time I painted my nails I'm going to be honest with you, but I do like I do feel like there is a part of me that has these beautiful press on nails that you have but I just learned my, I just learned my nail care from you and I feel like I learned how I would want my nails to look, if I paint.


MD: It's also inspiration for outside of just nail stuff like if you're into drawing, painting, I love talking about just like creativity and that whole journey too so I think anybody can be creative. It's honestly like if you haven't already checked out her Instagram page you would need to, because I still don't understand how you make those detailed drawings or detailed like, how do you do that with nail polish I really don't know. Every time I'm like this is amazing.


VL: It’s so impressive! I can't even sit still just to like paint one nail one color, and I find like I always it's always like, how good is it, how does it look like I pushed my fingernail into the couch after I painted it.


VL: What are you currently reading, or what is your favourite book?


MD: I haven't been reading as much I just found that like reading is really difficult for me to keep consistent with it so the way that I try and get back into that habit is reading youth graphic novels.

I recently read one. Oh my gosh, the name escapes me, But it was just this like adventure graphic novel and it's super fun and, yeah, there's always a beginning, middle and end, and things are always, there's always a resolution.


VL: What do you love most about being a woman?


MD: Oh my gosh, so many things. I think like femininity is so powerful to me like being able to be able delicate and assertive.

Feels so powerful to me I think that there's, you know, there's like, just so many different almost like characteristics that you can take on as a woman, and I love that.


VL: What does “empowerment” mean to you?


MD: I almost look look at empowerment is like being able to share that with other people. I don't necessarily feel empowered all the time myself but if I'm able to share that with somebody else and make them feel confident about what they're doing and who they are, then, then I almost feed off of that.


VL: What are you currently working toward?


MD: Oh gosh. Um, what am I working toward. I think just having a better patience, practice with myself. I think that that kind of goes hand in hand with the whole play thing and why I'm trying to incorporate more hobbies and just like quiet time because it gets me into a better flow state and then I'm able to get back to work and like create things a little bit better. It also like goes with that whole cycle sinking thing and that, that just makes me super excited.


 
Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

Asset 171.png

Categories

Download the FREE Dream Lifestyle Roadmap

Follow on Instagram

Val LaVigne Life Instagram
 
E121: How to Ask Powerful Yes or No Questions to Connect You to Your Intuition
 
 

E121: How to Ask Powerful Yes or No Questions to Connect You to Your intuition

Today’s episode guest AND sponsor is going to BLOW YOUR MIND! Learn all the best questions to ask yourself so that you can connect to your intuition….


Leave a review on Apple Podcasts


[1:17] Valerie LaVigne: Welcome back to the women's empowerment Podcast. I am so excited to introduce you to Tara McCrory Tara is a clarity coach and certified energy practitioner, she empowers the ready and willing to connect the dots to their own life and align to their intuition, so they may understand what it's like to live with true clarity and flow Tara's uniqueness lies in her use of the Akashic records. Human Design intuitive guidance and energy work to completely release blocks, limiting beliefs hindering patterns, and the non beneficial energies holding our clients back her ability to see true gently expose the shadows indicate to in a way that is easy to understand and highly resonant is one of her greatest gifts. Tara believes in the power of powerful questions, a beginner's mindset, and that everyone can receive the clarity they so rightfully deserve and are worthy of, they just have to ask.

Whoa, I get like these affirmation goosebumps when I read that, because I feel like what what's next like when I meet Tara and when I talk to Tara like what are we going to discover. Do you get that a lot? 


Tara McCrory: I definitely get all the time well how did you know this? And the short answer is, I don't know how I knew to ask that. I just knew to ask it, and I just let it come to me and so when I talk about beginner's mindset and when I say the power of questions What I mean is the power of asking yourself, simplified question. I always tell people, okay this is simple it's yes or no.


Yes or No. Are you grounded. Are you 100% grounded and people can accept the response as their own versus.


Why should they accept the response as their guidance as their clarity, versus. I don't know, am I grounded, I'm like, it's a yes or no question, you're going to get a yes or you're going to get a no and it really helps people, myself included, move through that aspect of like, Is this my intuition is it's not my intuition, am I overthinking it because as soon as I ask someone a question and it's a yes or no question and they start to go.


Well maybe I'm like that's not your guidance, that's you trying to formulate a response so yeah part of it is understanding the next step and what to ask ourselves in that clarity and part of it is just like being in receptive mode of okay rapidfire yes or no, is this is this true for me, that's a big one that I keep asking people right now. Is this true for you, yes or no is this 100% true for you. Yes or no. I'm talking about discernment is this 100% true for you, yes or no. So, yeah, you just you just have to ask, is really a stumbling block for a lot of people, myself included.



[4:51] VL: Yeah, you're saying this and I'm thinking, Okay, big, big nods and nodding along are definitely in agreeance with this, I feel this. I'm definitely one of those people who I find that I'm trying to think of a logical way, or I'll ask the question and then answer it like okay, if yes, this is what's going to happen if nope this is what's going to happen. And I tried to kind of formulate the answer this way, but I'm also someone who who I really want to tap into that intuition more and I encourage people to do the same. So maybe we'll start with how we can ask those powerful questions like how. where do we start with all of that. If we're just like so much in our heads and trying to figure things out.



TM: That's such a good question, and my, I do this every single day so what I'm going to share with you guys today are things that I do for myself every single day.

Here's the thing, I start by learning how to muscle, which is what empowered me to dive down the route of yes or no question. I use a pendulum, all the time, a pendulum simply is.


You can have an F plus on a string button on a string. Basically I use it as a calibration or a antenna to, to read my energy. But when you don't know where to start this is what I suggest to people is that take five or six deep breaths.


Write down everything you can possibly imagine. Just do a humongous brain dump in bullet point form on a piece of paper. And then what I tell people is to number it, and to take a couple deep breaths and ask for the number so just say you have one through 10.


Great. Take a deep breath. What number do you want me to focus on this is what I say is I'm always like Okay guys, what number do you want me to focus on six. Okay cool six. Then I go to look at six, and I say, actually so six on my list is guided by guides, I mean, ebooks and stuff because people have been asking a lot of questions so we'll use this as a perfect example. Number six, they want to talk to me about number six guides. Okay, we'll actually use the whole terminology of your spirit guides grayed out. So, yes or no. Do you want me to assign you a name.


Because I will tell you it's actually a lot easier to connect to your intuition. If you assign or talk to your guides, as if they're like, Hey Val Hey Tara. So are you okay with me assigning a name to yes or no. Yes. Cool.


Allow the name to come to you. If they're like, no. Awesome, what's the next step. Do you want to give me your name that, yes. Cool.

What's the next step, I would actually write down the alphabet, in a little kind of crazy chart, and I would start to figure out what their name is or I would just say, hey, awesome. Next slide. Can you give me your name. Ash, I'm getting ash. Okay, so maybe one of youse guyses ash. Cool.

That's how I use yes or no questions on an everyday basis, you have a long to do list. Put your to do list down brain dump it out the numbers. Where do you want me to start yes or no is that 100% Yes, I will also give you that as a hot tip. Always ask if it's 100%. Because value or like, if this is a yes then this happens and you're creating this crazy decision tree, and it actually will simplify once you say, I'm looking for what is 100%. Yes, because technically speaking, we know that yes this 51%. In all honesty 51% is not a good enough, yes for me I don't want to be actioning guidance from my intuition if it's like a. Maybe there's 51% I want guidance on 100% I want to action and move forward with 100% clarity so I always ask, Is this 100% Yeah.


[9:08] VL: Whoa, I just we just had an episode called mastering your to do list and I'm like scrap it. We need to re-record it!

Episode 115: Master Your To Do List


Would you do like an intuitive intuitive mastering your to do list bonus episode, I love that that is really cool I cannot wait to try this because I do often have a very long to do list but I also. So I know you work with human designs I'm a manifesting generator, and what I'm wondering about that is that I need to be in touch with my sacral and to respond right so it's cool because I'm learning that the yes or no questions are actually really important to someone like me, when we need to respond. We just need to know yes or no. This or that to count complications. 


TM: 100%, it's so interesting because in humans that I'm a projector I do not have a sacral response.

But what I will say is because the majority that I have met and worked with are either projectors because they want to learn how to live in their projector or our generators and manifesting generators as a large part of the population. Yes guys operate through yes or no questions already, and then the rest of us can in fact train ourselves to operate through yes and no question. So, by that I mean, I don't have the secret response I really don't have a gut response and that's actually what led me partially down this journey is that when people like me have this gut feeling and I'm like, something that's wrong with me because I don't have this. I don't know what you're talking about like I don't have this gut feeling.


But as time went on and I asked myself okay. I don't have a gut feeling show me what a yes feels like in my body and what it feels like in my body. Those became really big game changers for me. I yes actually feels like my ears are popping a no actually feel like I guess this kind of like wildly uncomfortable but hit at the top of my throat. So, I now no yes I know what that feels like. Or, I started by body swinging that's another way of muscle testing, I could use a visual yes or no. In terms of my pendulum so I started to train myself to find my yeses and noes, and then once I started doing that and I became really curious with the question.


I like the word you use over complicating it and then now simplifying it so the yeses and noes totally simplify things. It's, it's a way to tap into your guides into your intuition access your own Akashic reference for example I use that all the time to just gain the clarity that you need when I say that I'm clarity coaching I'm literally guiding you to okay here's, here's five other questions you may not have thought about asking yourself why don't you try these. And people are like, Whoa, I didn't think of asking that. So, it is we have this tendency through our mind, our logical mind to want to overcomplicate things. But when we bring it back down to simplifications and yes or no questions.


It's, it's game changing so I'm super happy that you are a manifesting generator and a compare your yeses and noes, and be as a manifesting generator you're supposed to be doing a lot of things at once, like that's part of your like your multitasking extraordinare so when you have your massive to do list, and you can ask Okay, this and this, or this, you know, you may actually get to em for Okay cool. So you can maybe listen to a podcast and be. I don't know, creating whatever spreadsheet or cleaning, for example, but it gives you guidance on how you're going to operate that.



[13:20] VL: Yeah, I really, I really liked what you said about, even if you don't have that gut feeling that you can ask yourself What does a yes or no feel like in your body, and this is something that I've taught before and I call it my IGA s or like my intuitive guidance system. And, and it's just that's it's simply asking the question What does yes feel like, What does no feel like and that actually changed so much within me because this was way before I even knew anything about human design this was way before I was like, focusing on my sacral and it was very much a gut feeling but also a heart space feeling for me too. It felt like the know was like a very constricted like kind of like it was holding me back like whoa, and then the yes was more open I almost set up a little taller. So that was my experience with that.

And yes, I'm definitely a multitasker. So I resonate a lot with with that Human Design profile. You did mention Akashic records and. But I before I, before we just get into that I did have one more question with as a clarity coach Do you find that when you start to encourage people to ask more questions, do you find people are getting overwhelmed with all of the questions they're asking like, I know you said like one to 10 in your to do list and then you write down like abcdefg for figuring out what your guides name is can we get too overwhelmed and can we get like too deep into it, and if yes then how do we pull ourselves back?



TM: Yeah, that's a good question. Absolutely. I think you can get too deep into it. Because we start to let me say acknowledge how fun it is all of a sudden, get into things.


And I'll have people reach out to me and be like, okay, so I know my guy. And now we want to know what their purpose is, I'm like, Okay, cool. So go back to the basic principles of like, write down every single topic you can think of, and then. Now, typically speaking, the people that are coming to me in terms of where they're at and where they want clarity is on a very specific topic and what I like to tell people is, it's the concept of chunking up like go as high as you can, with the vision and as sort of Up in the sky as you can and then ask questions there and go down and go down and go down you can drill, it's drilling down so what most people in fact have difficulty in is getting to the most chunked up place. So if I can help you get to the most chunked up place, then you can begin to start to drill down on your own. Now, I also believe, obviously, and a couple of things that are going to help people understand the whole concept and really understand how their inner guidance system, like you say is speaking to them and one of those ways is obviously through powerful yes or no question.


And through powerful yes or no questions, I first of all always lead my clients to Are you energetically software is all of the energy that you're carrying when you're feeling frustrated and overwhelmed and all of these other things, is it in fact yours, or are you carrying it.


For others, for the collective, did you pick it up, because you walked into a room that was really good, and all of a sudden.

One of my favorite terms is, I'm an empath I get that all the time for people I'm an empath and I'm like, I love that you're an empath. And to that I am going to say, I really would love for you to be an empath in recovery and just be a super compassionate person. Meaning, you don't need to take it on you understand that you're not here to take it on, you don't in fact take it on. But you meet people where they are, you can show them empathy and compassion, but you also understand that their vibe is their vibe, and you In fact, do not need to be the sponge. So it is through that that I think really helps people and then it also helps them from going down the rabbit hole because we go down the rabbit hole and we're super overwhelmed we're taking on all of these other energies because these energies.


They think like us they act like us they make us think that we are one when in fact, we're not as yours over there and I'm just going to return to sender with love. And then I'm going to go and I'm going to go on ask myself, my own questions so you can you absolutely can. And the first thing I would tell people is like, you know, check your energy isn't 100% yours. If you get a no go back to basics. Take your energy, your own and Daniel have a totally different experience.



[18:22] VL: Yeah, I, I know a lot of people who identify as empaths and I too can be very empathetic, but I find that it's been years of creating these energetic boundaries and really be able to being able to hold space because I think my, my, my journey of service and helping people really started when I became a yoga teacher, and I was noticing that people were, you know, you're coming to come to yoga with baggage sometimes I get it, that was part of my practice too It was like okay let it go on your mat, but as a teacher and being surrounded by so many people bringing their stuff into class, you really have to say like, this is mine. And this is yours. And I'm holding the space for you, but I'm not taking this on for you. And it's like, I also work with essential oils and I tell people like this oil is not going to save you, or cure your whatever's going on, it's going to support you in healing and processing, this so that I really liked that you said, you know, now you're going to, you're going to become this compact very compassionate person without having to, to feel and take on those things.



[19:46] TM: Yeah, that's huge. For a lot of empathetic people. Yeah. and you said something that was really important there was your energy boundaries and it's something that I talk about all the time is energetic boundaries, I'm like okay so let's check your energetic boundaries and people are like, way. And the way I like to describe it to people is like hold on a surgeon would put on gloves, before surgery. That is for the surgeons protection and the patient's protection. Anyone in healthcare would do the same. They put on gloves, so why would you not put on your glove. For your own protection and their protection and then people kind of go, what and one of the things that I often work with people as I say okay so let's, let's see how many energetic boundaries, how many gloves, should you be wearing. So, in this case, I hope you don't mind, well I'm going to check how many boundaries, you should be wearing so Val should have 12 energy gloves and I'll explain a little bit about what that means. So if you think of each one as its own unique color white and red whatever when you have strong energetic boundaries you have white, you have red, you have blue, you have, but when they are pierced by taking on other people's energy or even social media for example or they become pink and that's when we become very overwhelmed. That's when we have a lot of other people's energy mixing in with us because there's there's holes in it, and it's it's a rainbow versus solid colors, so you should have 12, and you in fact do have as well.


Yeah, which is amazing. I love to give people tangible things like that like okay let's ask yourself for a number of years how we asked for a number, because when people can start to sort of assign numbers or gain. Simple numbers tangible, in my opinion, to energetic things that are completely unseen. It helps them connect those dots for themselves so energetic boundaries are so important. It helps you maintain your connection to solve, maintain your connection to your intuition, it helps you stay grounded and in your body, and it really helps you be in the most magnificent place of service. Because I can be an empath in service and then be completely fatigued and completely exhausted and not know what I'm doing, or I can be empathetic, compassionate in my place of service which is exactly where you know you're saying you're doing and when you when you started your journey as a yoga instructor lady, holding this space it's really hard to hold space. Response just like taking it all in from each other.



[22:52] VL: Yeah, I like that analogy of the gloves, and then I almost think about how when I leave certain spaces or classes or whatever, relationships, I almost, I like the idea of like taking off the glass, and just. Okay, that was good, you know, we don't need to do. We created that boundary that safety for both of us. And now we can move forward. Yes. Yeah. Oh good, I'm gonna use that. There's so many things to do today. So many things to try!

Okay, let's jump into Akashic records because you've mentioned it a couple times I mentioned it when I read your bio, what are Akashic Records? Loaded question!?



[23:41] TM: In the most simplest form, the Akashic records are a realm. And by realm. I mean, it's a energetic considered a library. The best analogy I have ever come up with and one that I say, often is consider Kashuk records. Google for the spiritual world. That is the best way to describe it.

And so, you know, obviously with Google, if you put into the Google bar, red car, you will get 3000 pages of images and information on red cars, but if you put into the Google spacebar and read Pre Owned Volkswagens 2015 to 2018, you will get a totally different response.


Similar to the Akashic Records. This is why I tell people break it down into powerful questions when you ask yourself powerful questions. You get powerful answers. Now, the catalog records is essentially where because it's an ever living library, spiritual RAM and Google were like your intuition is getting its guidance, its first versus feeding you. Your next step. So, although I have practiced really hard to access to records. What I say is like everybody's already accessing their records, through their intuition. You know, you are talking your intuition you're talking to your guys you're following your guidance, you're standing in the lobby. And when you're like hey, I want to go on the record, they're like, Sure, come on over the elevator lobby, and that's where you go and then you're like, hey, actually, I've been considering this business idea and I really want to know x y and z about it. Cool, let's take you to this massive crazy skyscraper floor where there's going to be all of these resources and all of these ideas for you and that's sort of how it works and that's why I tell people like I'm already in it it's a matter of intention it's a matter of asking different questions is, it's really a matter of, you need to broadening your perspective, a little bit. Sure. A lot of people come to me and they want to know. Half Life things. Great. There's a lot of information about past lives in the Akashic records.

One person actually asked me on the weekend. Well, I want to book an akashic records meeting for my business but why would I need that and I was like, Well, hold on a second. Think of it this way, your business holds and energy, your business.

And you are tied together energetically so if you're one book in the records. Your business is another book, we go in and we read the energies, between the two, we go and we ask, you know, perhaps you've had a past life or something. Um, trust me guys we all have things, but perhaps, perhaps you, what are the things that comes out a lot right now for me is that people have had taken vows or contracts and past lives to be healers. And although that is not a bad thing. When they took them originally they these 1000s of contracts have more energetically and are now hindering their experience as a healer versus, helping them Excel.


Poverty contracts of poverty for example vows of poverty we've all taken them at some point in our many incarnations many lives. And it's a matter of sometimes going in and finding the end, I like to call it the inception point like so the very first time you ever decided that it would be a good idea to say like that I don't need money for this, and then therefore, carry this kind of potential frequency of scarcity or lack or even not accepting money for your services kind of thing that is still to this day, affecting us, so I basically use it all the time to figure out what's in my highest and best. And when I'm guiding people to ask yes or no questions essentially I'm just guiding you to go in and through the records how to do that.

And I, I love it, like I do clearings through it I do activations through it all my manifestations, through it. It's the place where I personally feel most connected. And this is the place where I truly want everyone to feel that deep connection and, be it you call it to the Akashic records, or you call it to your higher self, or you call it to your ancestors. It's your preference that's your lens, that's okay. It's more so the concept of how do you get there to feel that deep connection to understand it and to most importantly, be able to action it with confidence.



[28:50] VL: I've never wanted to visit a library more! I'm like wow that sounds so fun this sounds like an adventure. You did mention asking powerful questions, can you give us some examples of what those powerful questions might be when we start to tap into or visit that Akashic Record library.


TM: So here's some basic powerful questions that people oftentimes are like, I will start people with asking if your souls 100% of your body. 


I know that sounds like a little bit of a strange question and people are like, what do you mean of course it's 100, like I'm breathing. And that comes out all the time. And I'm like, yeah but you know at the end of the day when we're dreaming, or we're sleeping or we're daydreaming. We're going to these other places, and having your soul 100% your body really helps you discern the messages that you get. The other thing that I asked. And I tell people ask is asking for 100% grounded, because we actually need to be 100% grounded to discern the messages they need to come through, hit the ground, come back up and they because essentially we're building a lexicon. We are, we are building our translation service with source with the records with our guide. And so if you're not grounded it's really hard to build that translation service.


So when I go into the record, simple questions that I get people that are powerful that I asked people to ask themselves are, are there any non beneficial energies in my space, or in my environment that need to be cleared, or dealt with.


Is there anything I can do to move the needle on whatever topic.


So those are the types of powerful questions. Another powerful question that I people underestimate is I will say to them, ask. Have you misinterpreted anything?


That's powerful. Perhaps your guides have been trying to get you to go left but you're just, I don't know you're just not maybe not understanding it and you keep going right.

Another thing I get them to ask is, have I missed any breadcrumbs? Because people often come in, they're like well I don't know the next step because, and they're they're in a tizzy and fury but we have to recognize that. Even me if I go into your record or my own records, I don't see this long winded drawn out path in front of me and being like, Oh my gosh, so golden. I might see two feet ahead, and I have the freewill choice to take those steps. I have to exercise my own discernment to take those steps, and then when I take a step forward. Boom. The next sort of yellow brick on the yellow brick road shows up and so powerful questions can start really simply by have I misinterpreted anything. I have I missed a breadcrumb. Am I misunderstanding anything. Is there anything that I'm missing. That is a huge one because sometimes we don't have all the information but we're trying to make this well rounded decision for ourselves. And it's like, actually hold on, you need to go and access, like, go work within this space, and we're gonna feed you a couple more ingredients in a few days. So, those are powerful questions that people under asked me on a regular basis.



[32:43] VL: Yeah, that's really interesting I don't think I've asked myself any of those questions before maybe the grounding one, which I was like no partner or no need to grab, like immediately put my feet on the floor.

But that is so interesting so when we're asking those powerful questions are, is that how we're accessing the Akashic Records is that where we do that.



TM: That's a good question. There's a lot of ways to access the Akashic records, and I'm just going to say that with everything I believe it's never one size fits all right so you may. Here's an example like I started taking a course, a day course, and then I read books by Linda Howe who's very proficient and like has profound access to the records and she has a pathway prayer. And so a lot of people will use the prayer I do believe that there is a lot of benefit in setting up a prayer intention. So the way I do it is I set an intention, I create a sacred container for myself, whoever I'm reading for. And so I have developed my own process. And this is why I tell people like you really have to try the tools and create. Consider the tools you know flour and sugar and salt and baking soda for cake and then you have to mix your own recipe that works best for you.

And I tell people all the time like again you're already there, it's that intention of going deeper and asking yourself different questions that, and I wouldn't even say different questions, if you're already asking yourself these questions and then all of a sudden, you're like hey I want to go into records, my friend did this actually she's like I've been listening to you all the time to talk about the record so I just told my guys like I want to go on the record, and I asked myself the same three questions and she's like, but what I experienced was the energy felt different. The responses came through with clarity, my yeses and noes were like, more punchy. So that's what I mean by that I do teach people how to access it I do make sure people through the record, and I do it one on one, because of this reason because I want you to find your way to do it. I want you to a find your way to access and be puncher there. I'm here to help you build your lexicon and your translation service but we are two unique souls my translation service is not the same as your translation service so I'm here to guide you to say okay. All right, so here's a great example of one of my mentorship students was reading my records and said I see brownie. I'm like, cool, love brownies. But what does that mean, does that mean comfort food does that mean because brownies to me is like, I love baked goods. That would be totally self care for me so I have to exactly kind of prompt her to What does brownies mean for you, so that you can help me understand that and then when you get there and you build that lexicon so now she knows if she sees brownies. It's a form of just doing something for yourself it's like I am numbing and self care at the same time like cool. The fact that I always talked about recipes in the end she was like, Oh, it's a recipe we have to put these things together. Got it. So, yeah, that's really how I kind of try to explain it to people that you do have access. You get to practice it and you get to feel the difference, and then understand what comes next understand the translation something.



[36:52] VL: I'm really glad you mentioned that because I am a Reiki practitioner as well and I, a long time ago I was really into dream interpretation, and, you know, I had a few books where I would look up what the different meanings were but one of the practitioners that I was working with, she was really encouraging me to create my own legit. Like that's great that the books as, you know, and orange and an apple on a couch mean this but what does it mean to you and me you know now I don't even look at those those books and those glossaries for dream journals because I think about okay well how did I feel and what did that mean for me and you know because I have a friend who hates snakes, but I really like snakes, so when I see a snake in a dream or in a reading or in a meditation. I think of that as like a really powerful energetic strength, and she like runs for the hills, because you're like, no, that's dangerous, that's a that's a no mine's like okay yes follow this, so I'm really glad that you mentioned that in kind of, you know, using the tools that everyone has to make their own recipe, whether it's cookies or brownies or cakes or however it comes out for us it's still, it's still the finished product is still the baked good. So, yeah. And like throughout this whole conversation I just, I'm there like I'm in the CN Tower library and I'm eating this brownie and I just feel like you really bring it into this tangible practical way which is huge on the show people love listeners love that kind of thing. So, yeah, this has been, this has been really great. You've touched on it a little bit. However, I did want to ask why it's so important to or why the Akashic records are so important to us.



TM: They are the endless possibilities, they that's it the energetic library you may have heard it before it can be referenced as the book of life. It is honestly, so important because it's a place that holds all possibility. 

So, we're always searching for answers or possibilities and I love it when people say like the answer is within you. Yeah, it is. It really is. It is unlocking that it is unlocking that and so when you can unlock the door to that library.

And I mean hey I'm of the of the, the era when we had the Dewey Decimal System at the library so I know what it meant to go in elementary school and like to actually go through, you know all the little papers to find okay this book is. And when I do readings for people. I will say to them okay if I go quiet, it's actually because it's like a Dewey Decimal System in my head.


Stop there ask this question to bootstrap there ask the question. And so that's the power of the records, the power of the record is really getting you to unlock that place of inner knowing with confidence. Yes, there are some foundational principles to put in it around that but everyone can access it and when they do and they can, there is this deep level of discernment that all of a sudden shows up and you're like wow I can actually really sit here and say, This is true for me, this is my truth, this is, you know, I feel confident in the way these answers and guidance, and my inner GPS is working so it's like the coolest library. And essentially, everyone is always accessing it, they just don't really ever maybe know that that's your intuition.



[40:58] VL: That's really cool. I never thought of it that way either. But now that you've said, I feel like this was part This has been part of my meditation practice for a long time.


TM: Yes. No. That is a good point. It has been part of your meditation practice for a long time because when we're sitting there we're like, Where's this coming from. It's coming from that realm, it's, it's, it's an energetic faith. And, you know, when you get responses and meditation actually I tell people this all the time, people say to me, oh you know I can't meditate, I'm gonna fall on it be honest, I don't meditate that much anymore because I just feel that connection that I have through meditation in other aspects. When I'm super overwhelmed. I will get back into meditation. But I will tell people, hey, ask yourself a question before you go into meditation, and it is quite game changing because what you're doing is you're actually accessing yes the record you're actually accessing source in your guide.

But then you have guidance, because when people tell me oh yeah well I did the meditation and I'm like great what came through what. Well, there's like a little bit of that and, well, if you don't go in and ask a question and you get all of these basically puzzle pieces that you don't know how they go together. It's because of that.

Set your, that's what people say set your intention that's why you will say as a yoga instructor Okay Is that your intention. That's exactly what you have to do is that your intention. So it's the same in the record set your intention your intention is what, what are you curious so what do you want to know about what guidance, do you want to know about and what you don't get an answer for what I tell people is to go back and ask, is that you're not going to tell me right now, because sometimes we don't get an answer and then we get you be discouraged, huh.



[43:00] VL: Yeah. Okay, this is, this is very interesting, and I you know what it's something that I, I, again and again I will always repeat this set the intention for whatever it is the practice for your meditation for your business or. Yeah, literally anything that started with intention start your day with intention, that's what I do every single morning.


So something that I wanted to ask was, is there anything that hasn't been said today that maybe I don't, because I don't know so much about the Akashic Records maybe I haven't asked it. Is there anything else about this topic that you want to share?



TM: Oh, that's a good question. Honestly, we've shared so far I've shared so much about it. And for me, I just really want everyone to feel that place of love and peace and confidence that can come from accessing that part of you that reaches into the records is really what it is. So, yes, it's a realm and yes you can read all these kinds of things about it and you can read people say that you know you need to do this, this and this to get into it and you need to, like, I'm the number one person that would like. The fact of the matter is that there are no secrets, there are no number one, there are everybody can access it, get in game the information. It's really about finding the tools and techniques that work for you.

And to consistently practice this is this is a practice spiritual practice development skill that we get to develop and when you kind of devote some time to it. I will say it's probably the greatest act of self care and self love you can ever give to yourself because it's not deep assurance that you can lean on yourself.



[48:18] VL: Yeah, as you're, as you're describing it, I like I just keep feeling and seeing the words confidence, and clarity, and it's like a very deep rooted like self confidence and clarity and self and it's cool to be able to almost like you're, you're unlocking this space but you're also. You're also embodying this empowerment within you.

Well this has been a really fascinating conversation. This is so great, it's very different from some of the other guests we've had, and a lot of new tools and techniques that you've shared so I really appreciate you taking the time to to chat with me today. Thank you so much. I'm so happy that we connected and to be here. Absolutely. Me too. So I do have a final segment that I call the rapid fire round, but before we get into that, I wanted you to share, where we can follow you where we can find you and how we can support your business?


Tara McCrory

WEBSITE | https://www.tarabmccrory.com

INSTAGRAM | @tara_mccrory

Book a call HERE


[48:05] RAPID FIRE ROUND

What are you currently reading? OR Favourite book?

Practical Magic by Alice Hoffman

The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield


What do you love most about being a woman?

TM: My body being in my body being empowered in my body. The movement of my body I know everything about me.


What does “empowerment” mean to you?

TM: It's a great question. Empowerment means to me is to really be confident and at ease, and at one with who you are, where you go in knowing yourself. Empowerment truly for me, energetically sovereign and connected to my deepest sense of being.


What are you currently working toward?

TM: I know that I'm really here to guide people, and having left a very conventional corporate world and started something completely different. I'm really here to guide and show people how to connect in and do that for themselves, and that is what I work towards. Every single day

 
Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

Asset 171.png

Categories

Download the FREE Dream Lifestyle Roadmap

Follow on Instagram

Val LaVigne Life Instagram
 
E120: Q&A: Personal Development
 
 

E120: Q&A: Personal Development

A new Q&A episode diving into Personal Development. Learn from my examples, and also this week I have questions FOR YOU…


Leave a review on Apple Podcasts

[00:07] This week’s sponsor of the Women’s Empowerment Podcast is my Healthy Habits Workshop. These are monthly themed workshops that help you go from overwhelm to clarity so you can build healthy lifestyle and essential oil habits and find the routine that works best for you. Each workshop is live, virtual and on the first wednesday of every month.


I am Valerie LaVigne, your Habit Mentor, and I’m on a mission to help you make healthy habits, keep those promises to yourself, and change your life one small change at a time. If you’re interested in learning more, visit https://www.valerielavignelife.com/workshops today.

PART ONE: Questions You’ve asked ME

[3:22] LAURA: How do you keep yourself motivated to keep up with all your routines?

Habit Tracker (download my free Habit Tracker Guide!)
Schedule you habits/goals into your calendar
Get an accountability buddy
Hire a coach/mentor (check out my Mentorship Program here!)
Set milestone prizes/gifts
Have a healthy competition with friends
Share goals + progress to socials

[8:40] KAYLIE: What are your top 3 self-improvement book suggestions?

The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy

The Happiness Advantage by Shawn Achor

Becoming Supernatural by Dr. Joe Dispenza

[11:57] CANDICE: What is your proudest accomplishment?

Buying Exhale Pilates in 2020! www.exhalepilates.ca, instagram @exhalepilates

[16:47] CANDICE: An instance/period of time that you thought was rough but ended up being a blessing and helped guide you to the right path/an important change?

2009: Getting mono and leaving university 

Episode 58: Speak Your Truth with the Throat Chakra

2013: Getting fired from my first yoga job

2016: That time quit my full time teaching gig, left my family, and partner, and I bought a one-way ticket to Guatemala - I had no idea what I was doing and there were some tough times along the trip and during those times it really didn’t make sense to me why I was there

2020: The Pandemic

[23:38] PART TWO: Questions for YOU!

  1. Are my current habits and goals aligned with my long-term goals?

  2. Are my mental and physical health a priority?

  3. Am I surrounded by supportive and empowering people?

  4. Am I getting out of my comfort zone enough?

  5. What am I afraid of? Why do I think I’m afraid of it?

  6. Am I making enough time for play, fun, love, and/or peace?

Ask your questions here and I will answer them in the podcast and/or on instagram @vallavignelife

 

Download the FREE Habit Tracker Guide

Val LaVigne Life - Habit Tracker Guide
Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

Asset 171.png

Categories

Follow on Instagram

Val LaVigne Life Instagram
 
E119: Forgiveness Rituals
 
 

E119: Forgiveness Rituals

Taking you through five forgiveness rituals you can start to incorporate into your spiritual, mental and emotional practice today…


Leave a review on Apple Podcasts

Episode Sponsor: Valerie’s Make a Habit Mentorship Program

[1:19] Hi there, welcome back to the women’s empowerment podcast, I am so incredibly grateful for you. It’s been an absolute pleasure these last 100 plus episodes to create and teach and build the show, but it’s YOU that makes this all possible. It’s YOU listening, downloading, subscribing, and sharing the show that supports the growth and the mission of this podcast: to empower women and people all over the world to elevate their health, wealth and happiness.


As our community and audience grows, so do our opportunities. To share and hear more stories, to partner with like-minded companies and sponsorships - and whatever else the abundant future holds! It is all so very exciting to expand!


[2:08] In today’s episode we are going deep under some pretty intense emotional, spiritual, and mental layers: we’re talking all about FORGIVENESS.


The Aquarius in me wants to joke every time I hear the word forgiveness, I think of Anna Ferris in Just Friends when she writes a song about forgiveness and says that “it’s more than saying sorry” It’s a super goofy song she writes, but it’s also very true. Forgiveness is A LOT more than an apology, and today we can unpack it together. 


[2:47] Let’s take a moment to tune inward. If it’s possible for you to close your eyes and take a few deep breaths, becoming more present in the moment. Place a hand on your belly and a hand on your heart centre. As you breathe here in this space I want you to think about the word forgiveness. 


You can imagine that it is spelled out in front of you, or visualize yourself writing it down in your mind. As you breathe into this word, notice how your body feels, what other feelings, thoughts, words, or pictures may come to you. 

There are no right or wrong answers to this exercise. 

Take a few more breaths, connecting to the word, and the sensations you might be experiencing. If you aren’t noticing anything, this might be an exercise to do for a little longer. You can pause the episode and continue or come back to this mindful space later in your day.

Now right down, or record what you experienced. 

Perhaps you thought about someone you need to forgive. Maybe that person is you?

Maybe you envisioned a past experience where you forgave someone, or someone forgave you?

Or maybe you felt pain from a past hurt/situation.

And perhaps it was something completely different. 

In his book Spiritually Sassy, Sah D’Simone, says “Forgiveness is something you will be carrying around in your spiritual fanny pack.”

Which means, forgiveness is ongoing, and can be part of our spiritual growth and practice. 


[4:33] Before we talk about how we can forgive, I feel it’s important to outline what forgiveness is and is not…

Forgiveness is not effortless.

Forgiveness is often a process. A process that requires uncovering emotions, remembering situations, and deep healing. 

Forgiveness is not forgetting our past.

It can be revisiting traumatic or hurtful events before learning to release them.

Forgiveness is not giving permission to ourselves or others to cause pain.

Forgiveness is not saying what happened is “okay” or is “allowed” but rather acknowledging what the specific situation has brought up for us. How can we grow and find peace and healing to move forward in a new and more intelligent way. How can we improve and do better the next time.

Forgiveness is not numbing our feelings.

Sometimes forgiveness is being right in our feelings. Holding ourselves in the overwhelming emotional waters so to speak. 

Forgiveness is not avoiding the spiritual and emotional work.

It’s DOING the work. All of it. 


Forgiveness is not toxic positivity 

It’s not sugar-coating or replacing something with rainbows and butterflies. It’s recognizing that spirituality is more than love and light. It’s also darkness and pain. It’s about feeling, understanding, connecting and also detaching. 

As you listened to those points, take note of which ones resonated most with you. What can you relate to? What does forgiveness mean to you?


Throughout this episode I will share different forgiveness rituals. They are all unique and will require different tools, amounts of time, and be helpful for different people and situations. These are meant to be suggestions and opportunities for you to try/do something new. As you learn more, notice which ones you are drawn to. 

[7:04] ONE: FORGIVENESS MEDITATION

Come to a comfortable seated position. Close your eyes and visualize yourself seated on a soft  cushion, in a light and bright room. Take several deep breaths, feeling a sense of calm, quiet, and stillness within you. 

Now imagine the person you want to forgive, this could be yourself. Visualize that person entering the room and sitting on a separate cushion in front of you.

As they come to a comfortable stillness, acknowledge the pain, emotions, and/or negative feelings and energy you may be experiencing.

Bring these emotions forward with a few deep breaths, imagining them leaving your body into a formation. It could be a shape, colour, energy, any sort of form that is separate from your body. And imagine this form sitting to the right of you, between you and the person you are forgiving. You have separated the emotions from yourself.

Now ask the person in front of you for forgiveness. Ask them to forgive you for holding on to all the pain, anger, hate, and negative emotions that you have spent precious time feeding, harbouring, and nurturing. 

When you feel ready, allow the person sitting in front of you to accept your message, and forgive you. You can visualize holding hands, hugging, or just sitting comfortably together in your mind. As your words of forgiveness have been exchanged imagine the form of your emotions and feelings begin to dissolve into the earth being cleaned and recycled as new energy.

Allow yourself to be in meditation for as long as you need. When you are ready, come back to the room you are sitting in, and perhaps journal about how you are feeling now, how the experience went for you, and perhaps what you might change or add next time.

Repeat the meditation as necessary.


Now you might be listening to this and thinking, wait a second, I’m supposed to be forgiving people for hurting me? Not asking them for forgiveness? 


But the truth is, and here is where things get complicated, forgiveness is really about ourselves and our own power and energy. 

When we hold onto things, grudges, pain, trauma, negative past experiences, they begin to take physical shape in our bodies. They begin to manifest as physical pain and dis-ease in our bodies. We all know that what has happened in the past can not be undone, it is not in our control. However, there are many things in our control! And one of the most important reminders is that we can control our reactions. We can notice and heal our triggers, we can learn to let go and trust and love again. 

It goes back to what I mentioned early, that forgiveness is ongoing. It’s part of our spiritual practice to learn about your reactions, and our emotions, and how to support and respond to our feelings, without us being overtaken by them. Which can be very detrimental to our health and lead to poor reactions and decisions. 

[11:52] One of the listener questions from Tammy: How do we forgive someone who isn’t sorry?

And after a lot of thought, my response is: we acknowledge that they most likely are in a lot of hurt and pain. They might not be aware of their affect on you/the person they hurt. They might not realize that their pain has been projected. And if they do/did realize, then you KNOW they are in pain and hurting. You know they are struggling. Because deep down in each and every one of us, there is light and love, and compassion. We hurt people when we are feeling hurt. 

Again, it’s not giving them permission, however it’s also not letting them take your power. 

Speaking of power, let’s talk about four powerful elements: Earth, Fire, Air, and Water!

[13:01] TWO: ELEMENT RITUAL FOR FORGIVENESS

For this ritual we will be using different tools to connect with the four elements that will support our forgiveness ritual. The first element is EARTH, for this you will need epsom or sea salt, about 2 cups. The second element is FIRE, for this you will need a candle. Next is AIR, for this you will need a feather, or a bell. Lastly, is WATER, for this you will need a tub filled with warm water. 

This ritual is best done within 2 days of a full moon. Full moons are a wonderful time for releasing old feelings that no longer serve us.

Start by drawing the bath. Notice the water filling the tub. Let this process be slow and silent, not rushing around trying to do other things while this ritual takes place. It starts when you gather your supplies and turn on the tub.

Next, light the candle and place it on one corner of the tub. In the opposite corner place the bell/feather. Once the tub has filled, create a circle of salt inside the basin, sprinkling the salt in the water. When you feel ready, enter the tub. 

While you are resting in the tub, slow down your breathing, close your eyes if it serves you. Imagine and feel your breath moving throughout your body and creating space. Imagine it collecting any feelings of staleness, stagation, pain, or hurt, and releasing those feelings through the nostrils. As you soak in the water, visualise the salt and water pulling out any toxic energy from your skin and joints, in the tight spaces the breath doesn’t seem to reach right away. 

When you feel ready, cup the water in your hands and begin to pour the water over yourself/ Covering your face, neck, shoulders, head and entire body with water. Imagine this water washing away all your feelings of pain as they surface. Acknowledging them, and then releasing them. Think of the person or people, or situations that have hurt you; the ones you want to forgive. As the memories and feelings come up, acknowledge, release, repeat. 


Bring your hands to your heart and say, “I forgive you” forgiving yourself now. Repeat as needed. When you are ready, take a deep breath and submerge into the water, as you come up out of the water feel how the water drips off of you, cleansing your body and imagine the pain and sadness you were holding onto also releasing and letting go into the tub. Completely come out of the tub, wrap yourself and hold yourself in a soft towel. Watch the water wash away in the drain, along with any last bit of your negativity and emotions. Blow out the candle. 

Sometimes using tangible materials like water, can be a physical reminder of the “invisible” work that is being done. It’s a tool for us to connect with the element and also the spiritual practice and emotional release. You might need a few more full moon element baths to completely release, however this is a great, and peaceful place to start. 


[17:07] Olivia said that when it comes to forgiveness she struggles with “letting go.” Haven’t we all! However when we start to see forgiveness as a release of our pain, and as we start to cleanse this and take back our power, we can recognize that it is not about the other person, and hasn’t really been part of the other person - it has ALWAYS been about ourselves. 

It’s about freeing ourselves; truly liberating ourselves from being trapped in those moments of time where we were most hurt and in pain.

When we let go, when we release the hurt, we are making space for our light again, we are making space for our power to shine. 


If you listen to the show often you’ll know that I love working with essential oils, and I often bring them into my baths, and rituals. I didn’t include them in the second ritual because I wanted to talk about them in their own practice. 


I work with doTERRA essential oils and blends and my personal practice with them has become very intuitive. I am drawn to an oil or an oil blend and then I use it on my body intuitively. After smelling it and placing it in my diffuser or body, I look up the meaning of the oil and I learn that my body just KNEW, it somehow knew exactly what it needed in that moment.


[18:52] THREE: ESSENTIAL OILS FOR FORGIVENESS

First and foremost, the number one essential oil blend I recommend is doTERRA’s Forgive, aka the Renewing Blend. This blend has spruce, bergamot, arborvitae, tyme, citronella, myrrh, juniper berry, and more in it! It’s earthy, yet bright. It’s grounded, yet buoyant. I love using this roller on my sternum for renewing my heart space, or on my feet for deep grounding and peace. 

If you don’t have this oil at home, I want you to use whichever oil comes to you; whatever you are called to.

I’m going to use Forgive blend in this ritual, however I want you to use whatever you need right now - and this can change the next time you do this ritual.

First, open the bottle of your oil/blend, and put 1-2 drops on your hands (dilute if necessary). Close your eyes and take 3 deep breaths from your palms.

Next, move the palms up the face toward the head, and down the back of the head, neck, around the shoulders, down the chest, belly, around the sides of the hips, low back, and glutes, down and around the legs knees, and all the way down to the toes. Sweeping the entire body with the hands. Make sure to sweep opposite arms as well. Once the whole body has been “swept” place the hands over the heart. 

Breathe into the heart space. If you need to apply more oils to your hands, or if you want to diffuse the oils you may do so.

As well if movement feels necessary to you in this moment, move freely, allowing your hands, hips and body to move in dance or a sway; make this as intuitive as possible. Allow yourself to be FREE!

As you breathe, move, smell, and feel, recognize the people you are forgiving, the situations you are remembering, the emotions you are recognizing and releasing. 

Allowing yourself to freely move your body, in addition to the emotional support of the essential oils, can help with bringing up the toxic emotions, processing them, and also letting them go.

Buy essential oils at wholesale price here!
5ml = pure blend, great for diffuser
10ml = roller bottle, great for topical use

E118: Emotions & Essential Oils

Freedom in Forgiveness Diffuser Blend
4 drops Grapefruit
3 drops Lavender
3 drops Jasmine
1 drop Sandalwood


[22:00] FOUR: FORGIVENESS LETTER

A forgiveness letter is pretty much exactly what it sounds like: it’s a letter you’re writing, and the recipient is the person you want/need to forgive. I always recommend starting with yourself. However, you can choose to write the letter to whomever you wish.

Start with addressing the letter to the person you want to forgive. Then write and complete the following sentence: Today I forgive [myself] for… In order to move on, I acknowledge that I was wrong in how I [reacted to a situation, held onto unhealthy feelings, kept replaying negative events of the past, said or thought mean things about another person, etc.] I deserve forgiveness because…”

Pause for a second, I almost didn’t include this because I want it to be clear that everyone deserves forgiveness including YOU. Do not skip this step.

FInally, finish the letter with “In the future, if I am faced with a similar situation/decision, I will…” then sign the letter.

Once you have written + signed the letter, tear it up or crumple it up, and then burn or bury the letter. This brings in the earth element for healing, or if you burn the paper it brings in the fire element for transformation. You could also bury the ashes if you wanted, for both transformation and healing power. 



[23:50] FIVE: CHORD CUTTING

A few months ago I shared a quote on instagram @vallavignelife. The quote reads: Why would you be sad? You lost someone who didn’t love you. But they lost someone who loved them.”

When I first read it, this quote hit me like a punch to the gut and I felt “cords” of past relationships snap away.⁣

Just like that. Cut. Gone. Buh-bye. Au Revoir. Done.⁣

I’m speaking of “energetic cords” which are attachments formed through relationships and interactions with others.⁣ Positive, and negative relationships. 

The deeper the relationship, the more intense/tight/thick the cord; and probably the more complex to sever. ⁣

The cord is not bad, unless the cord is holding negative energy. This could be from someone you are judging, resenting, need to forgive, or let go of completely.⁣

Typically we cut energetic cords of the people who are negative or who are not in our lives any more (i.e. ex’s, former friends, people who burnt bridges, people we are forgiving etc.) ⁣

And sometimes we cut energetic cords of people we want in our lives but need to clear some overwhelming energy and create healthy boundaries with.⁣

Step One: Sit comfortably with your eyes closed. Take several deep and meditative breaths.

Step Two: Invite Archangel Michael, the protector, a powerful angelic being who carries a huge golden sword.  ⁣

Step Three: Imagine the cords and the people they are connected to. Then ask Archangel Michael to cut the cords for you saying, “I ask you to cut these cords now.” 

Step Four: Notice the lightness you feel; the weightlessness. Feel peace within you and a deep sense of support. 

Practice this mediation daily until you feel free of the negative energetic cords. You may need to repeat in the future too.

So there you have it, five powerful rituals for forgiveness and healing. You can add each of these, or your favourite ones to your “spiritual fanny pack.”

Let’s connect on instagram @vallavignelife

 
Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

Asset 171.png

Categories

Download the FREE Dream Lifestyle Roadmap

Follow on Instagram

Val LaVigne Life Instagram
 
E118: Emotions & Essential Oils
 
 

E118: Emotions & Essential Oils

Learn how essential oils are powerful healers, where and how to use them, plus the best oils to support your emotions and healing…


Leave a review on Apple Podcasts

[00:32] Essential Oils as Powerful Emotional Healers

Learn how I use essential oils every day on instagram @vallavignelife

I only trust dōTERRA’s CPTG Essential Oils Certified Pure Therapeutic Grade

From sourcing to distilling, to bottling and packaging, and all the way to delivering the bottle to your doorstep.

[4:35] My journey into essential oils

dōTERRA’s AromaTherapy Collection

💗 Passion “inspiring blend”

🧡 Motivate “encouraging blend”

💛 Cheer “uplifting blend”

💚 Forgive “renewing blend”

💙 Peace “reassuring blend”

💜 Console “comforting blend”

[9:18] 5 Stages of Healing

  1. EOs assist in healing the physical body: some oils are 40-60 times more potent than herbs. As we know herbs, and oils, have been part of health and healing for centuries. They have been known to assist the body in purifying organs, glands, and balancing body functions.

  2. EOs assist in healing the heart: oils enter the emotional realm and help us vibrate at a higher frequency. This can also mean bringing up past emotional pain that we might have suppressed in the past. So it’s important to move through a cycle of receiving the emotion and releasing it. This can be a process, especially if we’ve kept things down for a while. Now listen. Oils aren’t doing the (sometimes hard) work for us. They support us in doing the work openly and honestly.

    E49: Raising Your Vibration with Essential Oils

  3. EOs assist in releasing limiting beliefs: these are the deeply rooted beliefs found in our subconscious. They are usually not true. They hold us back, and they are almost alway unhelpful. Essential oils bring awareness to our emotional patterns. Then it helps us release them and replace them with positive beliefs.

    E81: 5 Tips for Positive Self Talk

  4. EOs assist increase spiritual awareness and connection: On this podcast we talk a lot about personal development and we also get into a lot of spirituality. In a previous episode I also shared that the way I like to interpret a lot of the woo-work and information is that it’s an extension and a type of personal development. A lot of personal development is very spiritual and can be tough work.

  5. EOs assist inspire the fulfillment of our life’s purpose.

[15:40] Locations of Application

INSIDE ELBOW CREASES

- for sadness + grief 

- when applied here, oils quickly enter lungs + heart

- experience sensation of chest openings + feeling lighter


Suggested Oils: Rose, Siberian Fir, Cheer Blend, Console Blend

INSIDE WRIST CREASES

- similar to elbow creases

- easy + accessible location to apply oils 

- runs to chest and heart

Suggested Oils: Wild Orange, Green Mandarin, Peace Blend, Lavender

INSIDE FOREARMS

- for instant change to emotional state 

- roll up + down, both sides

- oils will quickly circulate throughout the body

Suggested Oils: Motivate Blend, Magnolia, Lemongrass

BACK OF NECK/SPINE

- for mental clarity 

- quick way for oils to get to the brain


Suggested Oils: Tangerine, Douglas Fir, Basil. Copaiba, Lavender, Peppermint, Frankincense (head tension)

OVER THE HEART

- for coping with heartache + disappointment 

- on sternum


Suggested Oils: Rose, Neroli, Forgive Blend, Console Blend, Peace Blend

AROUND BELLY BUTTON

- for protection + boundaries 

- for increase in immune system function


Suggest Oils: On Guard blend, Ginger, Eucalyptus, Motivate Blend, Passion Blend

UP + DOWN MIDLINE OF BELLY

- for self-confidence + self worth

- many serotonin receptors here that contribute to feelings of happiness + self esteem

Suggested Oils: Green Mandarin, Copaiba, Cinnamon. DigestZen/XenGest

Dilute your essential oils with a Carrier oil, my favourite: Fractionated Coconut Oil

BOTTOMS OF FEET

- for calmness and grounding 

- popular for applying oils

Suggested Oils: Balance Blend, Peace Blend, Forgive Blend

INHALE FROM HANDS

- sends aromatic compounds to the brain and shifts our entire chemistry

Any and all oils can be inhaled from the bottle for from the hands (1-2 drops on the palms)

[22:50] Using Essential Oils for your Own Practice

What is your body craving? We tend to gravitate to the oils that we need

Shop oils at wholesale price HERE!

Shopping with this link connects you to me so that I can help you with your essential oil journey. Have questions? Message me on instagram @vallavignelife

 
Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

Asset 171.png

Categories

Download the FREE Dream Lifestyle Roadmap

Follow on Instagram

Val LaVigne Life Instagram
 
Health & WellnessVal LaVigne
E117: Evening Transitions for Better Sleep
 
 

E117: Evening Transitions for Better Sleep

Create an evening routine with transitions for sleep to help you wind-down at the end of the day using healthy habits and rituals.


Leave a review on Apple Podcasts

[00:32] Hi I’m Val, podcast host + Healthy Habits Mentor!

[2:46] Most common complaint about difficulty going to bed is stress + anxiety

[3:14] Reverse enginer your evening routine

Syart with what time you want to wake up?

How many hours of sleep you need?

How long does your evening routine take?

[5:14] Set alarms or reminders to notify you of your transitions into wind-down time

[5:44] My best/most important suggestion: TURN OFF TECH

[7:24] Sleepy Time Tea/ Tea Ritual

Choose herbal or sleep supportive teas (lavender, chamomile)

Create your own thoughtful tea ritual that helps you become more mindful, slow down your day, become more present and calm in the simple task/habit

[8:37] Incorporating and Elevating Your current evening routines

How can you make them more mindful?

How can you slow down the routines and habits you already have?

[10:07] Mindful movement

Yoga, stretching, mediation

Music, white noise, etc.

[10:28] Combine your routines and rituals together

examples: Tea + meditation; music + bath; stretch + aromatherapy

OIL HACK: for restless legs - use 1-2 drops of cedar wood on the soles of your feet + ankles + calves before bed

[11:00] Incorporating Evening Routines with your Partner

Intimacy, connection, support, communication

[12:00] Read a book! Journal, or write your to-do list

[13:52] Creating Your Sleep Oasis

Turndown ritual

Set the lighting

Set up your diffuser blends

Oils for sleep:

  • Lavender

  • Vetiver

  • Roman Chamomile

  • Cedarwood

  • Serenity (Restful Blend)

  • Balance (Grounding Blend)

  • Breathe aka Easy Air (Respiratory Blend)

  • Peace (Reassuring Blend)

[16:00] Aura cleansing with Oils

Serenity, lavender, peace blend, rose, vetiver: Apply over forehead, back of neck, top of head, massage and.or sweep hands around the head

Choose the oils that make you feel calm, centred, and slow you down

[18:15] Habit Swapping

What are you currently doing during your evening routine? Which of those habits do you want to swap for something new?

Example: move the phone/charger to the bathroom and place a book beside your bed

Place a candle beside your toothbrush and light your candle while you brush your teeth

[20:50] Set yourself up for success by making the transitions, making the evening routines easier for you!

Let’s connect on instagram @vallavignelife

Sleepy Diffuser Blends1.png
Sleepy Diffuser Blends2.png
Sleepy Diffuser Blends3.png
 
Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

Asset 171.png

Categories

Download the FREE Dream Lifestyle Roadmap

Follow on Instagram

Val LaVigne Life Instagram
 
Health & WellnessVal LaVigne
E116: Taking Aligned Action to Manifest Success
 
 

E116: Taking Aligned Action to Manifest Success with Cheryl Sutherland

Cheryl Sutherland, Cheryl is a transformational speaker business strategist and founder of please notes. A for purpose company and affirmation Feld products creator Cheryl felt restless and underwhelmed at her nine to five…


Leave a review on Apple Podcasts

[00:28] Valerie LaVigne: Welcome to the women's empowerment podcast today I'm really excited because I get to introduce you to our special guest, Cheryl Sutherland, Cheryl is a transformational speaker business strategist and founder of please notes. A for purpose company and affirmation Feld products creator Cheryl felt restless and underwhelmed at her nine to five.

After spending over 1400 hours in learning and facilitating personal development coaching and reigniting her inner creativity, Cheryl created a company that inspires women to step into their own power by building confidence clarity and creativity as a woman's empowerment expert, author and entrepreneur, Sheryl Sutherland and please notes have been featured in instyle Huffington Post Forbes, Fast Company, American Express open forum thrive global Britain co travel and more.

And on podcasts, such as the creative Empire, I love success. nofilter with Phil Palin, and more, including now the women's empowerment podcast resides between Los Angeles and Toronto, Ontario and again, Cheryl I was so excited to have you here I feel like this was just the right timing and we came together in this really powerful way through the make lemonade community in a very strange time, but what I love about this whole thing is that it's become this kind of organic serendipitous little like no we're talking about little adventure that we've, we've been on together.

Cheryl Sutherland: Yeah, it's been so so delicious and I'm super excited to be here with you today.

VL: Thank you. Well, I was doing a little bit more research on you and kind of getting to know. But what I really discovered I was looking for the juiciness, but I really discovered was that you're like a fairy godmother. you just like pull all these magical things out of people and you're like this is who you are and you fold up this mirror for people and you are like confirming and affirming. They're, like, they are light, I guess you could say so. I was just thinking like, oh my god I feel like she just like their buddy Bobby boobs into, into people's lives and like creates this magic. And speaking of magic your, your products are absolutely stunning and pleasing.

CS: I think that might be the next tattoo I get is booty bump. And then just put it on my left butt cheek. because I am quite magical let's let's be real.

VL: Oh my gosh, that's amazing. I love it, I love it, love it. I've never actually I don't know if I've inspired anyone to get a tattoo before so this might be a first.

Well I'm also really excited to have you on the show because, as I read in your bio you are an expert in women's empowerment and what better place to talk about that than on the women's empowerment show. So I really would like to learn a little bit more about what you share and how you you serve your community.

[3:33] CS: Oh my god, I love this so thank you again for having me on. Perfect timing as per always, and I mean I guess I am a fairy godmother I'm just gonna take that, because I'm all about helping you become your favorite version of you, and whatever that means to you because everybody's got something different. Some people really want to be an amazing parent some people their version of success is to, you know, have an amazing company or, you know, be able to support, like kids in a certain way that they feel like is super important.

And I feel like the more that we allow people to step into their zone of genius and really do those things, follow their curiosity and believe in themselves. That's how we get the ingenuity that we desire that's how we, you know, create the advances, not only in technology, but in society as a whole, like, really allowing for us to move forward and to be better and to be even more successful more fulfilled than we were before. As you had indicated before I have this amazing line of affirmation for both goods and that was my first step into that space.

Because I really wanted it to be about the individual like for them to be able to have the tools that they needed to move forward to really delve in deep to really discover who they were, what their passions were etc etc. And then, I've kind of expanded since then so of course I've got like the guided journals, which included like clarity dream manifestation and gratitude. And I've made it in such a way that it's comfortable.

And if it's not fun if it's not easy why I do it right. And then of course I've got the additional goods like we already held the water bottle labels the enamel pins as continual reminders of who you really are and what you want to create.

From there I've expanded into more bits like doing more workshops doing more speaking doing more facilitation. Because the thing that I've noticed is that people will get really excited get themselves a journal and be like, I'm going to change things in my life, and then get stuck so in me being able to provide not only like a service of saying, okay, here are some different journaling tools here are some different techniques. Let's do this together right now, it really allows us to start creating that inertia, start creating that momentum, increase the change that they really want to have in their lives.

[6:16] VL: That is incredible and I feel like, as you're explaining this, it really becomes clear that there there is a gap in this type of field like that personal development. The journaling, all of that fun and pretty amazing. You know that like inspirational stationery, it's all wonderful but if you're not using it and you're not putting it into practice or not taking action then you're not going to see those results you're not going to see that growth.

So, I love that you have kind of evolved in this way to to offer these workshops to go that little extra bit in really supporting your community, and not just like selling a product. So I think that's really powerful. Can you tell us a little bit more about how you kind of started these notes because I know you said you started in your nine to five job and then you're getting and also this all into this personal development, did you see that gap as well like how did you. How'd you get to where you are now.

[7:11] CS: So I always say My life is either going to be a Lifetime movie, or people won't be like this show so to make the longest story short, I was born and raised in Calgary, Alberta shout out Stan Peters, and I got involved in personal growth at a really complicated time in my life I had just seen the dissolution of a horrific relationship and then a lot of other relationships decided to leave my life at the same time. And then so that's when I got into personal growth because I knew I was ready to let something new come in and anything had to be better than this and what I discovered was so much better than anything I really discovered.

And really, whatever I thought it could be, and then going and continuing that journey, I had decided that I was going to move to California, because why not write. I'm really big into manifestation I've been manifesting things for years without even knowing. And then when I got clear that that was happening within 24 to 48 hours I ended up getting two job offers and they took one and then six months later, I mean they trucked on down drove down.

And then I worked for a couple different companies which was really great because both of them were led by female entrepreneurs and I can really see that day to day difference in how you feel when you have like high EQ would you feel when you feel like the results that you get when you feel abundant, the results that you get when you are coming from that space of joy and love versus restriction lack etc etc. And then in being able to work for these two companies I was able to see what to do and then what not to do and then again that's very big gap that was in the market, not necessarily something that I was like, Oh, I need to build products with but like really noticing. There's a tangible shift in people's results when they feel good about themselves when they're confident in themselves.

And I guess perhaps even then that's when the seed was planted to really support female entrepreneurs, or entrepreneurs period, because they're not getting that support from their HR like we're not having someone saying hey you're doing a good job or I feel one to 10 like you get a raise right it's just us out here in the streets with our processes.

Right. And then from there. I've reached a point with that second company where I was like, Okay, I know that if I leave here, and I just attempt to get another job. I'm still gonna feel the same level of emptiness because I know that I'm ready to create something that I'm really in love with that really supports people in the way that I want to support them, and something that makes me feel excited like I'm actually doing something I'm creating some sort of difference. And that, at that point, again I had no idea what that was, however, whenever I create room for the universe to jump in.

Honestly the most amazing things happen so I ended up quitting that job. And just spend some time with myself just doing a lot of journaling, going back into personal development magic and working with affirmations really getting into an amplifying my practice, and then that's when that idea came in was really to surround myself with affirmations because I noticed the huge difference in myself, because I had been pouring so much into these different companies I didn't know who I was. I didn't know what I was in love with.

I didn't know what was important to Cheryl, and so in taking that time to pour into myself and boost my self esteem boost my self confidence and, you know, got clear on the ground that I wanted to stand on. Then I was able to allow that idea to come in and then say hey I can actually do this. I think that's something that a lot of people go through, they'll get like a really great idea.

And then the first thing that they have is like, Oh, I can't do it because of X, Y and Z and we pummeled to the ground. However, if you're able to create that sort of fertile ground, and really take care of that. Like take care of your mental space. When you do have an idea, then you can actually support it and allow it to grow.

So with that it was the stickiness of my first item, and it was really like again surrounding myself with all these affirmations because I noticed how quickly we forget who we really are how capable we really are how deserving we really are and that life is supposed to be fun and it's supposed to be great for us right so really taking the time to reprogram and then from the sticky notes. I ended up going to do the, the journals and then migrated into all these other bits because I noticed that, again, like there's just so many different ways that you can choose to integrate affirmations in your life, and it's all about that repetitive like you have to the repetition is the thing that really allows you to change your habit of thought.

So, if you're not continually seeing these things, then you're not going to change the way you think. So when it hits you, the journals they were amazing, but you're probably gonna leave them at home. So what about having like a mirror to cows What about having a water bottle labels, you're going to the gym or wearing like an enamel pin yearly in your meeting and creating these sorts of things. And then from there again like as we talked about like really making sure that people have the tangible, tools, and then the support to actually start implementing these things. And, and I feel like when it comes to business. Personal like it's the biggest personal growth thing ever and anybody that started a business like you.

Right. And it really comes down to the fact that me starting this business, actually has allowed me to grow in such a delicious way, in a way that I couldn't have done by myself through whatever courses through whatever workshops, and it really has allowed me to step into my zone of genius and the place that I really love playing that I can give the most value in a place where I feel like I'm operating at my highest self, and therefore, really creating the changes that I want to create more.

[13:25] VL: Oh my goodness, I feel like that was just the perfect spot for a mic drop.

So, first of all, I want to congratulate you for just really coming to that realization of this isn't for me and who is me and how can I learn more about this person, and the person that I want to be and that's what's really cool about personal development because I've been, you know, doing the same type of work that you've been doing and really understanding myself and figuring out who the best person of me is so that I can serve my community better.

And so it's cool to, to hear kind of that journey for you, and we always talk about manifestation on the podcast too so I'm really excited I want to circle back to that in a minute. You mentioned EQ and for some people who don't know what that is it's emotional intelligence which is a huge part of personal development and of life.

And absolutely starting a business is, is a great way to dive into and take action in personal development my friend says that being an entrepreneur is personal development paycheck.

CS: So there you go, sometimes yeah sometimes.

VL: Sometimes you find your hair and your hands.

CS: But yeah, I love that it started with the sticky notes. Do you have a sticky note with you What does it have participant course I use all of my stuff I feel like Hair Club for men I'm not only the owner I am a, I'm a member too but. So, I wish you could see behind me but I'm not going to pivot my thing. But yeah, so this is what the sticky notes look like, and the original ones that used to have a different affirmation on every single page with a different image. Now the tricky part was that people love them so much that they didn't want to use them. And I was like, yo, if you like my company, buy more sticky notes yeah gotta use them, and then so I actually changed the design ever so slightly so now they come in a pack of three, and each three packs there's there's three different, I guess, what are they called three different color schemes, right, so we've got the pink which is the cheeky and this falls into the majority of like the additional thing, so it's more messages that are like playful and sarcastic so if you're taking notes you have messages like I'm a gift of the world gets a bad rap, I'm amazing at everything and anything that I do, I am legendary etc etc. The blue is war messages of calm so if you're dealing with a lot of anxiety or like you know you're feeling like you would like to top up the amount of love that you have messages like life loves me I'm living a joyful life. I'm so excited to, and then with the golden black collection The Confident collection that really gets into abundance that gets into competence I get into courage messages like everything I touch turns to gold messages like I'm ambitious and abundant, or I only manifest greatness in my life like those are the things that really allow you to build that level of, I guess, confidence as well or EQ and like really allow you to expand into all of you. So depending on what you're going through your journey on what you choose to work on, you know, you might be gravitating to one set of messages versus the other. Or you might want to just talk yourself up on all sides it's really up to you.

[16:57] VL: That sound fun. Okay so manifestation. Something that I learned about you is, and you kind of shared a teeny bit of this is that you manifested. And you you use manifestation you use journaling, to manifest your business success. Can you break that down at all for us, maybe like take us a little bit behind the scenes, and how we could also do that

STICKY NOTES HERE!

[17:40] CS: For sure so we've got some tangible tips so if you want to listen to this again. you totally can. I mean we've gotten records for you, or you can start writing them down to feel good to you. So the great thing about when it comes to manifestation is it's really about the energy of what you feel right. So when you are looking to apply this specifically to your business you kind of want to be as specific as you can. That feels good, if you feel like you're pushing if you feel like there's resistance than you're actually kind of taking yourself backwards so again, let success feel natural.

Taking yourself backwards, is first everybody's like you need to have a proper business plan right so have that business plan so you know what would be the ideal way you would like to move from point A to point B. If you're like oh I'm going to create a widget and it's going to take over the world, it's just like yeah that's great but how do you want it to. So really getting into stuff like who is your target market. Who is your clientele like Who do you want to buy it, are they buying it for themselves, are they buying it for friends etc etc so you've got that part that's in the business plan. Now we have the opportunity to step into that manifestation journaling part. So when it comes to you getting being like this multimillionaire or creating this delicious huge business, what does that actually look like, what is your day to day.

Who do you talk to where you live, how many employees you have. Do you have a logistic system. are you like really big on social media platform really writing out what this actually looks like. Now, as you're doing so you're gonna notice internally, does this feel good. Are you excited about this, or does this feel like you're forcing it does it feel icky does this feel like kind of like this doesn't really make sense. Pay attention to that. Now, it could be that you have the opportunity to delve into why you have a Glock some people have a block against being successful or having a lot of money or, you know, like, or they have a fear of success or fear of failure like all these things come into play and then by doing that, to discover that it could also be that you're just attempting to make something work that isn't what you, what is in your highest or in your best priorities to actually create and you're going to notice that there's a block there you're going to notice there's a slow down there. And until you have that conversation of is this actually for me or is this something that I feel like I need to do, then you're not going to be able to make that next step and then move through that.

So, let's say for example we've already gotten very very clear that, and I know for myself, that please note is already a multi million dollar business that I have my product shipped all over the world that I get to engage with the most delicious people and I just love the feeling of people purchasing and giving and receiving my goods it just feels so great to see that people really love themselves that are valuing themselves and then also see other people in this way that they deserve the gift of personal growth. Now, also take a look at what you actually want the buyer experience to be like how does that, how does that look like and then also what is your company look like five years down the line, 10 years down the line, how are you growing How are you pivoting really again taking the time to write that out reiterate it to yourself, and then say it to yourself multiple times.

So some people will have like a vision board, some people will have, you know, just like journal it like you've got so many different ways to create that anchor and then when you create an anchor enveloping and relishing the feeling of having what it is you desire is so, so important, because that's the thing that's going to allow it to come into fruition. Now, oftentimes you'll hear with a lot of these like really big athletes that they win, they're like, Oh, you won the championship How does it feel and they're like, Oh, you know like, it feels like it makes sense or it feels natural. Oh look at this person they're so full of themselves. No, they've actually practiced getting the thing that they want so much that it just makes sense for the universe to give it to them therefore they're able to allow it in.

We hear so often about people that win multimillion dollar latos and stuff like that and then 15 minutes later they're broke again. This is because they have not worked on their wealth consciousness and made it so that level of success that they desire is natural. So if it doesn't feel natural then like, It's very difficult to hold on to it. Now, one other thing when it comes to using journaling for your business or for any sort of growth when it comes to your company or, like, your life is what I love to call “post manifestational awareness.”

So this gives you the opportunity to look. Take a look back at what actually happened, especially if it's something that you did not want to happen, and figure out what was the reason behind it, why did this actually occur. So there was actually a show that I did, I was really nervous about doing it I was like no Cheryl this makes sense, it's the next step in your business, etc etc really coming from that space of if I don't do it something bad is gonna happen, aka lack scarcity limitation however I did not know that at the time. Did the show was not great spent like way too much money, and definitely did not make back my investment, and then when I sat down, I was like, Oh, this is why I didn't turn out, because I did not do it from a place of love, or finance or excitement, or happiness. I did it because I thought that I had to, and then also I thought that money was a key to actually allowing my business to grow when it was really about the feeling of it growing and really listening to myself when it came to these things so now I'm able to actually have that conversation and then choose differently and then I noticed when I'm feeling a certain way. That is not what I want to happen. Also if you take a look at something delicious that happened like I was just doing something random and my girlfriend like I was inviting my friend onto clubhouse which is this new social app Hey what's up, and I was like hey do you want to check this out like here's a thing and it was a PR agent that lives in America that I knew from like a hot minute like a long time ago we used to just work in a co working space together. And she was just like, yeah. Oh, and I was actually thinking about you because I actually am doing the holiday gift guide with Ebony and I would love for you to be in there and then we can also have you on like Instagram Live and you can do a little session probably like, okay, that's cool. Because every magazine you like, that's pretty big. And I didn't have to sleep with anyone. I didn't have to do anything. I was just like, yeah, this makes sense like let me just give you this uh this person like.

And it just fell into place for me and really allowing me to step back into the feeling of what actually transpired to allow that to happen. I was in an amazing mood. I was feeling giving, I was like, who could really benefit by having this invite to clubhouse who I actually really like, and then I thought of this girl and she was like hey, Merry Christmas. So really allowing you to notice the feeling that's attached to the things that you are doing so that you can practice, taking action from that, that same feeling of allowing of expansion of happiness and then abundance.

[24:58] VL: Oh my goodness I'm getting like tangley and excited this is so great. So, I love this because I often forget about the power of manifestation, I forget that when I'm reaching a goal I outline all the logistical things I can, I feel like most of the time I think logically and then I'm like, oh yeah but then there's also this magical power of our mindsets. So you mentioned a couple kind of, I guess the word, we could use is like mistakes people make when they're manifesting, is there anything else that people should avoid doing when they're manifesting?

[25:34] CS: Yeah, I definitely think people think that they have to be the catalyst and that was a big problem for myself, my kids, my personality is naturally like a controller personality.

And so I used to having if anything's gonna get done, I have to be the one to do it, which is not conducive to building a multimillion dollar Empire like I have to be able to learn right I'm choosing to be able to learn how to delegate how to give to people and how to also attract amazing people that are operating within their zone of genius, as they're supporting me. And so I think what a lot of people think is okay, what is the end result that I want and how am I going to bring it to fruition and be like, I'm sitting with her I'm deciding I'm sitting with Oprah at her house, eating avocado, this is what's going to happen, or like, you know, I am going to get this next business deal and it's going to be feel so great and to do that, but even in me saying that you can kind of hear the energy behind it and just like are you forcing things like this is not good. So being really general. So if the thing that you want to come into fruition has a lot of energy around it, it's kind of sticky, you're not able to kind of like, you know, jig rejigging around just go general so stuff like you know:

Everything is always falling into place for me

Life loves me

I living in a friendly universe

Things that you can say and feel that they are in fact true like I am secure, you know, you might not be feeling rich but you might feel abundant you like even though you don't have the zeros in the bank account right. You might feel like, you know what I'm secure and safe like that things are things are just delicious today, were like, oh, like I love surprises surprises and the universe continues to surprise me in the most amazing ways and letting that be the thing that you allow to grow for you and then all these other places are gonna fall into place for you too.

[27:26] VL: That's such great advice. I am really glad that you said that because something you mentioned at the beginning of this episode was, you know, when you started your your your personal development journey. You didn't even realize how amazing it was going to be. I think that's what people forget is like, we think, what we want is so great and we think that like this is the goal we're striving for. When really, it's so much bigger than that, like it's so much more amazing and so much more powerful and more incredible. And so I'm really glad that that you gave those those examples, I love them. I'm gonna write them down their own manifesting I'm very excited. So, another key piece to manifesting that you mentioned was the action taking so you're you're following your feelings, and then you're taking actions, and then another action, another action. All of this is leading to, to the goal or like the big picture, and I know a lot of people stop themselves at the action taking piece I know for myself like when I first got into personal development I was reading all the books, until all the books were saying the same thing and I wasn't doing anything to get there, like I wasn't really putting myself out there for. So for some of the people who are listening and new to manifestation, or maybe new to their business?

[28:58] CS: What is some advice to take out action. That's great. So I think that the most important thing is it's not really about action it's about aligned action right so you have to do things that feel really good not because just logically it makes sense. Now, as you start practicing you're going to notice that feeling within your body. Are you afraid to do something or is this actually like a block to not do this, like, is this your intuition, telling you, no.

So I would actually say start practicing a lot with meditation if you don't have a meditation practice, then please do take a look at some whether it's some guided meditations I've got some available on the website, or you can use YouTube or, you know, sitting for five minutes, 10 minutes, 20 minutes at a time, and just connecting because then that's really what's going to allow your intuition you really notice the difference in your intuition versus being trial and error because I mean trial and error is great but it's just like, why. So, as you practice with the aligned action, you're going to be able to know okay like for example when I got a virtual assistant, I was like, ah, but I'm like I know I need to do it, but also like I had a lot of fear but it's just like, Okay, what is this fear this fear is not about the fact that I need this person or this person is amazing at what they do, or that my business will amplify itself as a result of having additional support. It was the fact that I was worried that I wasn't going to be able to consistently pay this person and that might get in trouble with that. Right.

That is not the truth. Because in fact, in me employing this person that I'm going to actually be able to create more streams of income and do it much quicker than if I attempted to do it myself. And I'm not going to be burnt out like everybody's like, Oh, I want to be successful but if all you're doing is hustling and struggling this whole time, then you're never going to be successful because you don't know how to rest in success. You don't know how to rest in that level of achievement and we're so good at pushing ourselves, and having the opportunity to take that step back and just say, Oh, this is what I've created, let me be proud of myself really acknowledge where we're at and that's going to be one of the key things for you to actually be that successful person that you really desire to create that life you want. So, but going back to that when you're taking action really understand like, what is the purpose of this action, and is it pulling and you can feel internally is is pulling you towards the thing that you want or is it kind of like sidetracking or taking you away from it.

Now sometimes the universe will end like you will do it for yourself Take the, the slightly scenic route. However, there was always opportunities for growth and everything that you go through so there's never a wrong thing that you've done it's just like, oh I'm learning right so if you're doing something new. It's not mistakes, it's just learning opportunities. And as long as you actually learn those lessons, then you won't keep repeating it so again. I know a little diatribe but when you're coming down to making decisions really understand the come from, is it coming from your heart is it coming from your head, or from the gut. Does it make sense for you in your business does it feel good.

Does it feel aligned with what you want to create and when you want to serve, and if so then you know just step ahead and step in for.

[32:14] VL: That's perfect. And it really comes back to getting clear about the intention, and getting clear about how you want to feel, which I feel like is a perfect segue into one of your offerings that is an A newer I guess this year, and it's called Create Clarity in Your Calling. Tell us about this. How can we be a part of it?

[32:39] CS: Oh my gosh, okay so basically what I've done is I've taken some of my favorite class is to really support people again in starting to just do the things right but also do it with the extra little sauce like the extra bit of mindfulness like the cheat code I guess is the best way to say it.

Not a cheat code, a legend. There you go. So this particular bundle actually has my journal your way wealthy class, it is basically a modified version of my journal your way to clarity class that one actually has or this one actually has different like four different journaling exercises that you get to practice, and you can continue to put into implementation for yourself so you can understand how to actually get into the process of journaling, how to journal for manifestation how to really take a look at the life that you really want to create and against deep yourself in the feeling of having the thing that you want, so it's easier for the universe to give you the things that you desire, and for you to act in alignment versus in scarcity, right. It also has some additional downloads that you can get so you can actually start practicing with different prompts and stuff as well. And then there's also a amazing money manifestation to really allow you into opening up your money files, kind of changing the way that you feel about money, and then making sure that your money is working for you money is your best friend she's out here just in the streets trying to support you the best way she knows how However, if you don't let her help you. She's not going to be able to really opening that up for you and allow your business to come in.

[34:12] VL:

Cheryl Sutherland

www.cherylsutherland.com

www.pleasenotes.com

instagram: @pleasenotesgoods

[35:13] VL: Rapid Fire Round!

Question One: What are you currently reading? What is your favourite book?

CS: Okay, so if you'd asked me this a little bit ago I would have given you a different number but okay so my favorite book.

The longest one has actually been The Autobiography of a Yogi by Paramahansa Yogananda.

The reason I love this book is it really gets into the life of this man who actually started bringing yoga to the, to the west. However, the thing that I love about it is that he lives in this space of possibilities when he was a child and, like, just imagining walking through like the town that you're in and just seeing all these people like this one guy's a disappearing Yogi. this one guy's a floating Yogi and just like having that sense of magic and possibility around you.

I just finished this other book and which is a one steak sauce is called The Game of Life and How to Play It by Florence Shovel Shin, you can get it on like iBooks or whatever for 99 cents and literally it's talking about the law of attraction how to manifesting, how to ask for that space of like, it is versus like oh can I have this, and it's so honestly it changed the way it's kind of amplified the way in my belief and my knowingness that I can really have what I want the universe is here to deliver it to me.

Question Two: What do you love most about being a woman?

CS: What do I love most about being a woman I mean like I recently just fallen in love with my body because it is hashtag amazing. But I also think one of the things that I love is just being able like that level of emotion that we're able to connect and share with, and it's kind of sad that it's not as emotional like it's not as accepted for men, because I really feel like that would be so delicious but just being able to be with a group of women and be like oh my gosh hey how are you, I love your hair Let's be friends like I love that and authentically like care and connect to one another, really, really quickly while I feel like it might be a little bit more difficult for our male identifying counterpart.

Question Three: What does Empowerment mean to you?

I think it means really it's about being able to stand in all of you, you know, being able to be 100% yourself whether it's your hair, whether it's your clothing, whether it's like the way that you like to pronounce your R's like just allowing you to come and step out and being all of you, and that's actually where we are going to have the most delicious things happen because someone has said yes to themselves.

Question Four: What are you currently working towards?

I would like a snack I'm kind of hungry. No, I'm what am I, I'm currently working towards really allowing myself to have support like I had said before, that's something that I'm really excited to have, and also excited to allow in more ways. And then also, multiple streams of income so making, I used to have this thing where if it wasn't hard, then I wasn't doing enough.

Do you know what I mean like if I wasn't, you know, work if I wasn't struggling, that like the money that I received was not as valuable, and I have I've realized that that is in fact a lie. And that, that I don't have any value in the past to struggle or striving anymore so really allowing it to like me to have the things that I desire and it comes easy and it'd be fun, and it'd be life and continue to grow in that way.

[40:32] VL: I'm so glad you said that that's something that I've been really moving away from also is like my, my family grew up, you know, struggling to get to where they are and putting in that, you know, the elbow grease and the blood and sweat and the tears and you know we did this so you could have this and it's like, Okay, I did doesn't have to be such a struggle and that was hard for me because it almost was like part of my identity, but it was like growing up, learning these things from my parents, and now I'm. It's funny because it's like I'm moving away from the home, and also moving away from like that family mindset. Anyway, I feel like that's a whole other episode we could get into.

[41:00] CS: I hear you on that I mean I know for myself like I'm a first generation Canadian and my parents like God bless them they had to go through so much in order to you know make sure that their family members were taken care of that like you know that we were taken care of, and I'm so proud to say that like my parents are really happy that I'm happy you know they're really happy that I've chosen a different path and like, I think that's an opportunity to actually give to our parents in that way as to, to show them that things can be different, and if we're able to strong enough to stand up on our own and say, this is something we're changing for the family.

Like, I know my mom would not say no if I paid off like a couple of like things for her or like, you know, send some extra money here and there for her, she would not, she would not buy that so I'm excited for that to be what everybody in my family lives from.

VL: Mm hmm. That's amazing. Well congratulations for being that that leader in this new way and this new thought,

CS: Okay, thank you.

VL: Well, like I said before, I feel like you are a fairy godmother to many people including myself You inspire me every day that I see you show up on social media, and I love what you're coming out with I love the ideas of the workshops, I feel like that's something that I really look for is like this product is amazing but I need that deeper connection, I need that next step I need that action so I'm really excited to learn more about your funnel and getting involved with it.

CS: Thank you I receive that and thank you so much for creating the space for people to come and have these conversations, and then also for people to listen and understand that the things that they want that they are not alone, that they are possible to have like things are possible for them to have, and that you don't need to do anything to prove your worth you're already worthy, so go and do the things.

 
Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

Asset 171.png

Categories

Download the FREE Dream Lifestyle Roadmap

Follow on Instagram

Val LaVigne Life Instagram
 
E115: Mastering Your To Do List
 
 

E115: Mastering Your To Do List

Some of my best methods and practices for productivity PLUS the new techniques I’m using to elevate and upgrade my to do lists!


Leave a review on Apple Podcasts

[00:38] List Makers Gonna List

  • Do you make to do lists?

  • How do you feel about them, love them? Stress about them? Somewhere in between?

  • My journey with making the most of my to do list and how I became a “master to do-er” 😂

[1:57] The MOST important thing that had to change for me to tap into my energy and productivity.

  • STOP stressing about the list and use that energy to get sh*t done!

[3:39] Starting with a Brain Dump at the beginning of each week

  • Write it all down, get it out of your head

Next: Eliminate + Automate + Delegate

  • Look at what is always on the list, or what has been on the list for a while, can we eliminate, automate, or delegate any of these tasks.

  • Usually when something is on our list for a while it’s because we’re procrastinating - if it’s not getting done by you then it’s probably not going to get done so scratch it off!

[6:13] Organizing the List

  • I like to organize the list based on when the tasks need to get done.

  • Organizing the list by days of the week and it helps me stay on track with my goals and tasks

[7:19] Time Blocking

  • Get to know how long it takes you to do a task

  • You can track how much time you spend on your tasks and activities to learn more about how long all of these things take you

  • Over time you will start to know what works best for you, this gets easier

  • MAKING the time in your schedule by Time Blocking

[9:30] The 3-5 System

  • Sticking with having 3-5 things on your to do list at a time

  • Being more realistic with your time by prioritizing 3-5 things

  • This boosts productivity, and is more sustainable

  • You can even have 1 thing on your list if it is one BIG thing

NEW METHOD… BUT FIRST…. HOW MUCH DO YOU LOVE MY NEW WEBSITE!!!!????? Let me know what you think on instagram @vallavignelife I’d love to hear your feedback and connect with you more 💗

[13:20] Supporting Your To Do List with Self Care

  • Sprinkle in self care that helps support and compliment your energy because it will help you get more done

YES I’M TALKING TO YOU FELLOW WORK-A-HOLICS!

  • I swap “eating my frog” with Self-Care

  • FACT CHECK: “Mark Twain famously said that if the first thing you do in the morning is eat a live frog, you can go through the rest of the day knowing the worst is behind you. Your frog is your worst task, and you should do it first thing in the morning.”

  • Brian Tracy’s BOOK: Eat That Frog

  • Write a list of self care items and schedule them into your week/day

[21:11] In addition to the to-do list I am also create a List of Wins/Achievements

  • What are you proud of?

  • What wins did you have this week?

  • What did you achieve?

[22:32] Challenging myself to get out of my comfort zone more

  • Personal intention is to do this weekly, and I’m tracking it monthly

  • I’m prioritizing the tasks that help me get out of my comfort zone so that I can grow!

How are you leaping, growing, and getting shit done? Share with me on instagram!

 
Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

Asset 171.png

Categories

Download the FREE Dream Lifestyle Roadmap

Follow on Instagram

Val LaVigne Life Instagram
 
EntrepreneurshipVal LaVigne
E114: Embracing Your Inner Wisdom (& Woo!)
 
 

E114: Embracing Your Inner Wisdom (& Woo!)

Learn how to tap into, trust, and embrace the inner parts of you. This is especially important for personal development, decision making, and attracting more of what you want into your life…


Leave a review on Apple Podcasts

[00:29] Are you into the woo?
Astrology, Human Design, Chakras, Kabalha, Tarot, Oracle cards, Numerology, etc.

I like to think of these unique tools as an extension of personal development.


[2:30] What is our Inner Wisdom?
The spiritual nudges, gut feelings, inspirational thoughts, intuition, and more.

[3:25] How can we tap into it? 

Through trust and connection comes clarity, and clarity comes with practice.

[10:45] What does embracing it feel like? AND WHERE can we feel our inner wisdom?


[11:28] HUMAN DESIGN: 5 Authorities

BOOK: Human Design Discover the Person You Were Born to Be


#1 Emotions Authority “Be Emotionally Clear”


#2 Sacral Authority “Follow Your Gut”

  • Follow AND TRUST your gut

  • This internal guidance system is effective when in response. Which means it is designed to wait until there is a clear response that speaks from the lower belly with uh-huh or uh-uh

  • It’s a sensation of being drawn toward or pushed/repelled away

  • Respond to a request and then FEEL OUT if this is right for you


#3 Heart Authority “Do What You Want”

  • Tune into your heart’s desires!

  • It is a direct authority: You might say something lik “I want it, so I’m going to make it happen”

  • Once you set your heart on something, your innate drive cannot be stopped

  • Your heart is drawing you to, or pulling you away from something

  • This is personal, and very powerful, do not be lured by someone else’s heart/passion it must be YOURS

#4 Self Authority “Be True to Yourself”

  • When you know, you know

  • Subtle and deeply present; this is something only YOU will understand

  • Trust the space in your inner sternum, if you have this authority you will feel it

  • You might say something like, “I can’t explain it, I just know it!”

  • Don’t rush away from this knowing, trust it undeniably!

#5 Outer Authority “Accessing Intelligence”

  • This is unique because it does not have a prompt, but instead has an external process that helps you discover your inner truth

  • You will weigh, balance, check and double check before making a decision

  • This requires PATIENCE + and OPEN VIEW of all situations 

  • What’s cool about this authority is that you are able to access everyone else's perspectives, concepts and ideas and turn them into your very own wisdom

  • So your decision making relies on others… here’s the best part; or should I say the WOO part: over a period of 29 days. This time period is because it relates to the movements and phases of the moon. 

  • Yes, that’s right the lunar cycle plays a very important role here.

  • Is this all new to you? Cool, get yourself on google and figure out the lunar phases and start recording them in your calendar. Then when you’re faced with a decision, map out 29 days later and write in your calendar “decision day” For that month, do your research, ask questions, read books, etc.

  • Now it might not always be realistic, but if you can make it happen, it is highly recommended.

Not sure which authority you are? I learned all of this from a book: HUMAN DESIGN Discover the Person You Were Born to Be.

Get your human design profile here: www.humandesignforusall.com

[23:00] Using your inner wisdom to make difficult decisions 

Step One: Get calm

  1. Breathe

  2. Meditate

  3. Nature

Step Two: Release force

Step Three: Be patient

[26:38] Essential Oils for Intuition

Oils for Awareness:

  • Cilantro

  • Align

  • Cardamom

  • Kumquat

  • Black pepper

  • Fennel

  • Oregano


Oils for Enlightened:

  • Frankincense 

  • Bergamot 

  • Melissa

  • Clary sage

  • Sandalwood

  • Immortelle

  • Litsea

  • Roman chamomile

  • Blue tansy

Clarity Blend

BOOK: I Am Fabulous by Desiree Mangandog

Clarity is an excellent blend for those who struggle with constant confusion especially those who experience “foggy brain.” SOme describe it as a dark cloud in and around the head. The oils in Clarity open up the mind and get rid of the muck that creates low energy. You will be able to hear yourself think, be very present when communicating with others and radiate vibrant energy.

Place drops in a 5ml (or 10ml) roller bottle. Fill the rest with fractionated coconut oil. Apply to the back of the neck, temples and inside of elbow creases.

5 drops Eucalyptus
3 drops Douglas Fir
5 drops Lemon
2 drops Peppermint
1 drop Rosemary
1 drop Melissa
1 drop Wintergreen
3 drops Lemongrass
1 drop Cardamom


[28:37] Journaling about the “Proof”

Observe and be the witness of your past and your experiences so that you can learn from them, when you make decisions from your authority, what happens? When you start to trust your inner wisdom, what happens? Record the evidence that proves you can trust your inner wisdom.

[29:44]  Attracting Abundance

Focusing on attraction means believing you are aligned with the work you are meant to be doing, you are guided to the people you need you. Embrace this and trust this fully. Showing p as your authentic self, is going to attract more authentic people into your life and the people who are on your vibrational level.

TAKE ACTION! Get to know yourself more through whatever YOU feel called too, use human design, journalling, meditation, however YOU FEEL DRAWN or what you feel PULLED TOWARD! Let’s continue the conversation on instagram @vallavignelife

 
Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

Asset 171.png

Categories

Download the FREE Dream Lifestyle Roadmap

Follow on Instagram

Val LaVigne Life Instagram
 
Mindset MasteryVal LaVigne
E113 Staying Motivated with Your Healthy Habits
 
 

E113 Staying Motivated with Your Healthy Habits

Learn about the methods and tools I use as a Healthy Habits Coach, uses to stay consistent with all kinds of habit goals to elevate health, wealth, and lifestyle…


Leave a review on Apple Podcasts

Join the Empowered Community on Instagram @vallavignelife


[1:16] Question: How do we stay motivated with our healthy habits?

Habit forming takes time, it’s dependent on the person (and the habit!)


[2:00] Investigate past success

What has worked for you before?

Want to increase your habit by 95%? Hire a Coach! 

Interested in working with me? Check out my Make a Habit Mentorship Program HERE


Do you like tracking your habit? Get the free Habit Tracker today! (see the side column for the download)


[4:45] Habit Stacking

This is a great way to create new habits, use this method to build on your current habits in routine.

Every morning I make coffee. I wanted to create more mindfulness so I created a “Morning Coffee Ritual” that helps me be more mindful, present, and sets an intention for how I want to feel for the day. 


We all have habits already, what habits do you currently have, and how did they form? How are you staying consistent with it? Can you incorporate your new habit with an existing habit?


[7:48] Habit Triggers

These help us simplify and support our habit more.

How can you set yourself up for success with your habit; how can you make DOING your habit easier?


Simplify: more often than not creating a new habit is more complicated than it needs to be. Notice if you’re creating a really big overreaching habit in the beginning. It’s important to start small so that we can work our way to the bigger goals.

Remember that habits form over time, we want to be successful right away, in the beginning. Set realistic and easy habits right away.


Commitment is doing the thing you said you were going to do, after the mood you set it in has left.


Supporting your habit: Think about what you will need to do your habit every day. Prep for your habit by collecting the things you need and getting them ready or putting them into the places where you’re going to use them.

Morning coffee habit with new journaling exercises? Put you journal and coffee mug with the coffee maker - and a pen!

Daily workout habit? Grab your equipment + clothes and have them ready for you when you’re doing your workout.


[13:18] Apps + Supportive tools

Meditation: Insight Timer

Favourite Meditation Teacher: Sarah Blondin

Water: Hidrate App + Hidrate Bottle

Language learning: Duolingo

Apple Health App 


Essential oils I use before working:

dōTERRA’s ADAPTIV “Calming Blend”

dōTERRA’s Balance “Grounding Blend”

dōTERRA’s Motivate “Motivating Blend’

dōTERRA’s Passion “Inspiring Blend”


[14:55] Celebrating + Milestones

The apps I use have fun “badges, stickers, trophies” for when I am consistent with using the app and doing my daily habits

Celebrate day one! Day seven, Day thirty, and more! Celebrate every day. Write out these dates in your planner/calendar.

There are so many ways to celebrate: prize, sticker, gift, party, bottle of champagne, gourmet donut, shopping spree, cash money!


My Make a Habit Mentorship client, Aashima, is working out 3 times per week, and after one month she wants to buy a new workout outfit!


The prize is motivating you, and the prize CAN ALSO motivate you to keep going - assuming it supports your habit.


[19:12] What happens when we “fall off the horse” with our habits?

Short answer: If at first you don’t succeed, dust yourself off and try again.


Episode 111: Create Habits Based on Your Core Values with Deanne Frances

#1 Come back to Your Intention: Why did you start the habit in the first place? How do you want to feel? When you reconnect to the feelings of WHY you started, you’ll be motivated to get back on track.


#2 Start Small: Set a super small goal you KNOW you can achieve, like one workout this week. Then build to two the next week, and three after that. This is helping you build your confidence.


MOMENTUM Roller Blend Recipe 

12 drops Eucalyptus
5 drops Douglas Fir
5 drops Marjoram
3 drops Patchouli
2 drops Lavender
1 drop Cinnamon
1 drop Cypress
1 drop Arborvitae
3 drops Lime
1 drop Ylang Ylang

Add to a 10 ml roller bottle + top with Fractionated Coconut Oil


#3 Celebrate Milestones: Since habits are formed over time, it’s helpful to set up points to celebrate the success. Get excited about your habit again and put notes in your planner/calendar of how you will celebrate when you reach your milestone.


#4 Re-Evaluate Your Habit: Perhaps your intention is in the right place, but the habit isn’t working for you. Or maybe it’s the time of day; the complexity of your habit; or something else! Looks that the reasons why it’s not getting done, and how you can get back on track with your habit and success.


[26:20] #5 Invest in a Coach: Having a coach to hold you accountable increases your chance of success by 95%! In my Make a Habit Mentorship Program we get clear on your goal, and I help you form your new habit in our four weeks together.


Next steps: 

Download the FREE Habit Tracker Guide

Check out my Make a Habit Mentorship Program here to see if it’s right for you

 

Download the FREE Habit Tracker Guide

Val LaVigne Life - Habit Tracker Guide
Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

Asset 171.png

Categories

Follow on Instagram

Val LaVigne Life Instagram
 
E112: Style as Self Care: the Comfy-Chic Formula
 
 

E112: Style as Self Care: the Comfy-Chic Formula with Sarah Peel

Meet Sarah Peel of Citizenne Style & Home, as she teaches us how to shop our closets, take better care of our clothes, and create self care practices through style in her holistic lifestyle guide: Citizenne At Home…


Leave a review on Apple Podcasts

[00:26] Valerie LaVigne: You're listening to the women's empowerment podcast, and today I have a very special guest, Sarah Peel on the show. Sarah is a teacher, sustainable fashion educator stylist and advocate for healthy and creative living from 2009 to 2018, she worked with fashion takes action doing whatever needed to get done to run a small but nimble social enterprise, connecting sustainability, human rights, and the fashion industry. Her main joy was creating curriculum, teaching and managing a team of workshop leaders who delivered the my close my world program to over 9000 grade four to 12 students in the Greater Toronto Area. During that time she took a personal interest in learning, studying skills that could help other women bridge the gap between creative self expression, and the perceived notion that a sustainable wardrobe could not be stylish. In 2017 she co founded citizens' with another stylist and personal life coach. So it is its primary focus is to inspire women to become an uprising of everyday influencers for good using their own closet and authentic self expression style is therefore not just an end result, but also a powerful tool to transform lives society and the planet in in a hopeful direction. So doesn't focuses on creating resources, programs, and community to help them and explore personal style, alongside building an ethical and sustainable wardrobe.

Sarah thank you so much for joining me today on the women's empowerment show. It's an absolute pleasure to have you on the podcast.


Sarah Peel: Thank you so much for having me as a guest, I know that many of your episodes. It was not usual for you to have guests so I feel really honored to be here, and also just want to congratulate you on your 20,000 downloads of the podcast that is super exciting, and a real testament to the work that you're doing.


VL: Thank you so much, the recognition means a lot I remember that oh we're almost at 20,000 downloads to my boyfriend he goes. So what do you get for that like an award.


SP: Actually, just validation from the outside world.


[2:42] VL: Exactly. As I talked about it a lot, having a podcast is, it can be a little bit isolating especially when you don't have a lot of guests on the show you're just talking into a microphone you're hoping people are listening and downloading and to see the numbers grow it's been it's been quite an honor and I'm very proud of the work that we're doing and I'm excited to have more people like you on the show I'm honestly I've been really looking forward to this conversation because I know you and I have really similar passions, about style about the environment, so I'm excited to get into some of the methods and methods that you share.

And one of the themes actually that you advocate on is how you're using style as self care, this is something that I'm really excited to learn more about can you tell us more about what this means.


[3:36] SP: Well often I think we've been programmed to think of style as something we do to keep up with trends to look a certain way, but especially now, and in context, you know for future listeners of this podcast. We are in the middle of probably a second wave of the covid 19 pandemic and people are what I noticed as of the spring is that people started to talk about dressing in a very different way. And I had already had this practice of prepping my wardrobe. The night before, and even a week in advance so that it could be part of a healthy.

Simple morning routine that made me feel vital and ready for the day. So that I wasn't spending a lot of time stressing about what I was going to wear and going through three different outfits and then ending up feeling like as I left the house flexed and rushed. So I already had that practice of dressing as part of a routine, as a way of getting myself out the door in a peaceful mindset and ready to face the day. But when the pandemic hit and we were at home.

There was a shift it was less of like.

It was everything was about comfort. And, I mean, I went through this the first two weeks where it was hardly really getting dressed and I felt terrible. And I was like, you know, I think that getting dressed, even though you're not leaving the house is still really important. So, what people need is comfort.

Surely we have more options than our pajama bottoms yoga pants leggings and slippers. Surely there is in our closets where there's like 80% of what we don't wear. Surely there are other options in there that could be considered comfortable and would help us to feel still like we feel like we had some variety and some pizzazz which I would call chic and so I've developed a system a formula for starting the day called the comfy chic form.

And really style is at the core of this daily routine, but it's about more than just getting dressed. And so this is how it goes. It's very simple.

Get up, whenever whenever you do get up. Not everybody gets it I'm an I'm a more of an early morning person so I get up.

But now when people are working from home. Sometimes kids are at home. And so your day has to be really early and other times you're a single person or you just have one other person you're living with. So you could be getting a Petunia regardless. When you get up and you're starting your day. Move.

So, trigger your body to get the blood flowing, breathe, that as the basis is starting to make you feel comfy, to feel good in your skin, because that's the best the best first first layer of your of your outfit is feeling good in your body. So move.

Doesn't have to be long, it could be like 20 minutes have something, meditate or pray. So that's the mindset and also just soul care as well. And then get dressed enough comfy basically oh no groom yourself, basic, you do not have to have full makeup, although sometimes that's depending on who you are, that could be a form of self care maybe that just makes you feel good. I know that often putting on a bright lipstick is a pop of color, helps me feel good, but just wash at very basic level, do something with your hair, wash your face.

Just to create because even, you know the early days of the lockdown people just kind of like gave up taking care of themselves in that way so groom yourself, basic put on a comfy base layer. And I'm encouraging people to think about comfy.

And in a different kind of way. Think about all the things that you have in your before virus closet that are natural fibers that fit in well that you don't they don't make you feel pinched that you can move around in that flow and put those on.

And then chic it up somewhere.

And the the idea around being chic is not extremely motivated at all by trends or anything it's like what brings you joy. Is it colorful scarf. Is it a new way of doing your hair because you're really tired of being at home and you need some variety.

Like, this is the perfect time to play. You're not leaving the home. So you want to do something really like you want to do, Princess Leia ones. Go ahead. Like, there's no one to laugh at you just see if you like it and actually this could be in time to actually play with your clothes in a way that you've never done before because you've been very concerned about what other people would think.

And you lack the confidence to mix patterns or, you know, stack jewelry. And this is a time to kind of play with it, and build your confidence in that.

So that's that's the basic formula. Move, meditate or pray. Take care of your, your appearance, some basic grooming healthy base layer and then shake it up.

And I actually found that as I was doing this and I was trying to. Also I was starting to write about what the process was so we're being very mad about company chic routine.

I found that the days when I didn't do it.

When I was just like, Okay, you know what, I'm just gonna leave this for a couple of days, I would then be like, oh, What's wrong, why do I feel so off. It was like you know what, I didn't get dressed this morning.

It's just reinforcing that this was, I was on to something really good, and I'm not the only one. I'm not the only stylist who's been talking about, you know, COVID sheep or there's, there's a number of different hashtags out there. But yeah, so I really wanted to build on this idea of style as a means of self care and style, not, it's not focused on trends. This is about.

What brings you joy what makes you feel vital. What helps you express who you are. And that really is what style is all about fashion is a trend style is it up showing up as your true self. 

That's a quote. That's a, not an exact quote of Oscar de la Renta.


[11:36] VL: I love this method so much and I remember meeting you around that time during the pandemic when you were like, yes I'm creating this compensation formula. And I thought, this is so brilliant This is exactly what I need because as you're saying these things I feel like a dog with a tail between his legs, I am like, Yeah, I don't think I shaved for a long time I don't think that I got showered but you know it was a very because I had to do a type of thing and then at one point I was like, Do I really have to do it and then I just was wearing sweat pants, same sweater and I just felt really blonde it was I was getting down and it was, things were tough and there was so much, you know that that weirdness and I didn't know what was happening, it was it was a very unpredictable time and, and I started to lose the hair in self care and self a little bit too, to be honest.

But as someone who I, I definitely move so movement was a huge part of my everything myself care my daily routine it has been always, and even I started losing that a little bit too. So, like I'm not I'm not just saying I'm the only person that did this I know a lot of people who, who felt this way, in 2020, but you know you get to this point where you have to admit, and we talked about this a little bit before we record is that you have to admit when things aren't going right and you got to stop doing what you're currently doing if you want to.

But as someone who I, I definitely move so movement was a huge part of my everything myself care my daily routine it has been always, and even I started losing that a little bit too. So, like I'm not I'm not just saying I'm the only person that did this I know a lot of people who, who felt this way, in 2020, but you know you get to this point where you have to admit, and we talked about this a little bit before we record is that you have to admit when things aren't going right and you got to stop doing what you're currently doing if you want to.

I think that I need to be more motivated to do this because I'll get on like a little bit of a train I'm like okay, yeah, I'm going to do this every day. I'm going to feel really good in my body I'm going to I'm going to really intentionally pick my wardrobe.

Tell us how we can motivate ourselves a little bit more in the mornings to do this because I'm an early morning person too, but I also have a lot going on and at the back of my mind and like, I don't really need to get dressed and do anything because I'm working from home today and I'm so busy that I don't want to make the time to help me stay motivated.


[14:23] SP: There is a free download of the comfy chic formula. And also a program that leads to where we, you know, gave like 10 basic tips for putting for integrating the company sheet formula into your life. And then there's actually a template. So, are you a planner, many people are their planners like to write things down in notebooks or apps.I think the act of writing things down sometimes.

I'm an old fashioned girl in this, in this way I think there is something very key about actually writing something down on a piece of paper, they do I think studies show that there's a brain connection, in a way that's different than putting something in your online calendar. So to write things down. Even if it's now, I've been doing this wardrobe prepping for at three years now.

A day or two in advance. As a beginner move and just write down in a notebook. You don't have to download our planner or anything like that it's, it's just a way of stating, or being intentional by writing it down, and then taking a look in your closet for those things are they available to you are they clean Are they ready, like do you need to wash them. Putting them aside, maybe on a hook on the back of your bedroom door so they're available to us so that it's easy to get them.

And so that's something you would do the night before, when you get up in the morning, even if it's a really busy day, especially when we're working from home, or even if we're working outside of the home right now like just having that anchor and anchor point when things are so unpredictable in this world to have something that is predictable. Is it just allows your brain and your body to breathe deeper, because you're not.

You're not adding another layer of decision making.

You know you're cutting down on the decision making, that you have to do at the beginning of the day. And if you are working from home, sometimes the work life balance. Like there is none everything flows into everything else. And then the deep part of the lockdown. You know my husband and I would say is it Wednesday was it Sunday.

Like, what time of the day is it like we were going to bed at 3am and getting up at 10am.

So, having, and we're not really writing. Beyond that right now. But having that those two acres of like at the end of the day, being ready for your day, when you get up in the morning, because, you know, everything is kind of laid out and ready for you. And at the beginning of the day when you wake up to have that anchor of the movement, meditation, basic grooming.


[17:51] VL: Yeah, I think this is so important. I love how you kind of you chunk it down a little bit so when you were first talking about how you plan your week in advance, I'm thinking, oh that's very interesting because I am a planner. I do like to write things down but I think personally for me it's just about taking the time to open the closet and see okay what's going on here, what can I start, what would I like to wear what do I love and maybe I don't wear it all the time.

But it's comfortable and it's chic and it's amazing and, and, I think, Well you've definitely inspired me I feel like this is what I want to do this. After this call.

And that's awesome, awesome things together because. The other thing is I remember this was years ago when I was really into money mindset was you know you want to dress like the future you have the million dollar view, and they ask questions like what the million dollar or with a millionaire salary be in their bed working on their on their business from their computer, and maybe maybe they aren't maybe that's part of the lifestyle that you like but maybe it's not the way you see yourself as a millionaire so that millionaire is at a desk, and so then I was like oh, I'm gonna invest in a desk because I don't want to be that person who is working from their back. And then the other questions were like, what are they wearing Look what do they look like how do they hold themselves, and you really start to be more intentional intentional about what you how you are, how you are presenting yourself every day your gravity tasks, your style. Your attitude and it comes out a lot in your fashion and in your style and what you're wearing. And it's such like it's such an important reminder but we've totally lost this and funny with the lockdown and with all these things happening because it was so easy so easy just to say who cares about it. 


[19:58] SP: Yeah, that's so interesting. How about losing yourself and how the act of dressing for yourself to care for yourself but also with, you know, a creative flair that is uniquely you is self is self reinforcing is reinforcing this is who I am. Especially when the things that we would normally rely on are topsy turvy. This is something you can control.

And there's another yep there's another reason I'm just, I mean of course I've thought of this before but in context of this conversation, it's like yes, there's so many things that you cannot control right now that you have no choice over. This is something that you choose this is something that you can control.


VL: Absolutely. And when we talk about style and self care, and we look at what self care is it's taking the time taking the having the intention to care for yourself because you are basically you're showing up in your worth. So, when you are practicing self care, it's when you feel your best and when you are like is that reinforcing it, you're reinforcing the worth of who you are and what you are and that changes your energy so much. And like I said I have like I personally lost that I lost part of myself because I wasn't caring for myself in this way, I was focusing so much on all of the other moving pieces of my life and I was trying to control things that I couldn't control anymore things that were changing so quickly. And what I should have been doing, you know should have been doing, and don't should on yourself I know right so what I could have been doing like going a little bit more internal and saying, Okay, I'm going to take this time to to really focus on me to focus on what I need and and what my body needs and what my mindset needs the movement the meditation. The grooming, the comfy chic formula that you've created it's, it's the perfect framework for an every day.

Like reset into who we are. And I know that so when I was in grade 11 in high school, I really wanted to be in fashion I want to be in fashion. I love the fashion industry like loved it. And there's a lot of reasons why I didn't get into it, but one of the things that kind of deterred me away from it was, at the time, I was learning about fast fashion and just really didn't agree with the whole thing. And then I kind of was like, Okay, well, what's a sustainable way which wasn't the word at the time, because that's not what I was learning, but I was thinking like, okay, while I was learning about like hemp fabric basically, this is a long time ago. Anyway, and when I looked at people who were, you know, reducing reusing or recycling, that kind of thing. It was just the clothes were ugly and I didn't. It did not resonate with me I did not love the style that was kind of the trending eco friendly fabrics and all the things at the time. However, I was really in to thrifting, and not only was it a really fun way for me to express myself and be very different because that was a huge part of my identity, growing up, especially in high school was, I'm very different from other people and I, I showed that in the way that I dressed. But what was so interesting is that I'd had people come up to me and say wow this is such a cool shirt or such cool sweater where'd you get these jeans. Oh my god, your outfit looks so amazing but it's so unique and different I could never wear something like that. And my answer was always I thrift a bit, and it's all about the confidence. If you're not sure about putting something on. Just be as confident as you possibly can and you are going to rock it and I know that when I'm wearing sweatpants and my hair is I've been a messy bun. I'm not always feeling my most confidence.

But however, that being said, there are times when I am wearing sweat pants and my hair is up


[23:40] SP:  unless you choose it, like, Are you being intentional about like this is this the day to be in my sweatpants and messy back. Yes, instead of it happening to you, by default, you're choosing. Exactly, exactly. And I really let me kind of kind of go back to what you said about how confidence is is like the greatest beauty aid. Like, it doesn't matter if it's on trend in style, or if it clashes somewhat or it's a bit unusual. When you are, let's say you're you're wearing something that's not one of your colors or is, you're not wearing clothes that and there's a. And I do believe in formulas sometimes if they serve you, but I'm referencing like some shopping you're wearing clothes that are appropriate for your body shape.

Let's say you want to wear something that's, you know, not in line with what your body shape is but you love it you love that color or that shape. Use you show up, and you look awesome, because it's the style is coming from something that's inside of you.

Yeah. also great thing about experimenting going back to the opportunity to play with the clothes in your closet. And these times when we're working from home to just experiment and see like how do you feel at the end of the day when you have like worn two patterns together. Did you feel fun, like in. So it could you, you could use this opportunity for those baby steps of building your creative dressing muscles.

Can I talk about what I'm wearing today?


[26:30] VL: Yes, I was just gonna say please tell me what you're wearing because you have this stunning necklace on, and I get it, we have to get a picture of you in this outfit so I can put on the show notes.


SP: So I got dressed according to the company chic formula this morning, and I feel like I'm also wearing a sustainable outfit, but it's not maybe what you might think. So I'm wearing a Navy turtleneck. It's November weather's starting to get cold. But like a turtleneck. This is from a Canadian brand called cotton kayo tm, and all of their cotton is organically grown and Fairtrade from a couple of specific farms in Egypt. So love to can like there's so many great things that like fair trade people are paid a fair wage.It's organic, and it's a Canadian small it's like an independent rent.

And then I have a necklace that is also. It's from just one, it's just another Canadian small Canadian brand. This woman works directly with Ugandan and Kenyan artisans women who have often been in the sex trade and who are learning a skill, and these are paper based beads. I love this necklace because it's like, it's so simple, it's so light but it's like such a statement peace, and for a week. See me like you're gonna have a picture in the show notes, but it's like it's like a breastplate of beads. So it's often something that's in regular rotation in my wardrobe. 

And then I have a pair of jeans on there dark denim skinny jeans. Okay there from the gap. which people wouldn't shock. If you know from the sustainable and ethical point of view but let me tell you, I am buying these because the pair of jeans I had before to death. I needed a new pair of jeans, I'm on a budget. I bought them on sale, but I didn't. I'm not over consuming on sale shopping. I mean I think that's the important part, I do not, I'm over feeling guilt about shopping occasionally and fast fashion brand, I think it's really is the amount that we shop fast fashion. And the fact that we don't care for clothes that we do have, once we buy them.

So the other thing that's kind of sustainable about these is that they didn't fit me when they arrived in the mail. And I took them to my tailor so that she could do something called a waist and seat. It's like a basically a big talk at the back. And these skinny jeans as you. I'm sure all of your listeners have had this experience when you get a pair of skinny jeans, and they within 30 minutes they start falling off your body, because the spandex stretches. Anyways, these pants feel great on me because I don't ever have to hoist them up.

So, I will wear them.

And also, just as a note about gap. gap is one of the brands that is on a path forward sure they're still fast fashion brands, there's so many things that could be doing, way, way, way better, but it's better than shopping forever 21 for example.

And then I have a pair of leopard sneakers on that are just fun, and they are not from a sustainable brand I bought them at winners. They're just fun, and they're One of the things that I put, I wear regularly. When I just you know how Papa fun. I don't have a huge collection of sneakers, but I have this one pair, that's, you know, leopard.


[30:00] VL: Oh my gosh, I've been looking for a cool pair of sneakers like that so I'm gonna have to check winners out. 


Well, Sarah, this has been such a great conversation I want to get into our final segment of the show but before we do let us know where we can find you where we can follow you and how we can support your business.


SP: Well you can find me on Instagram at citizen, Sarah. and you will find my wholehearted life their business, home, cats, all the things that I'm up to, and I'd love to interact with you there. And in the links you'll actually find a way to find citizen at home, and all the other things that I'm working on


VL: very amazing tell us a little bit more about Citizen at Home


[31:02] SP: Citizenne at Home is a life and style program to help us thrive. While we are surviving. Not just surviving but thriving in this pandemic so we have developed skills from the first lockdown, but we're exhausted. We're totally exhausted with this drill. And in some ways we need a little bit of a reminder of what we can do with our habits, which I know you love to talk about our daily routines that just help us feel good in, in our bodies, and I would like to say that the foundations for a great outfit are like feeling good in your skin so the comfy chic formula, which is the foundation to the course but then from there we talk about self care. We think about budgeting, because our, you know in our lives. We've our economy is totally being stressed out. You don't hear my cat running around in the background.

We've been totally our finances have been stretched and stressed. And so having a household budget is a great way to do that. And, of course, clothing budget is a part of that, everything, all the different parts of citizen at home.

Have style at the core. And then we look at, you know, the homes, the places that we are living and how to address clutter and specifically the clutter that's in our closets so that we can enjoy our spaces as if they are like a waste disease. And finally, how to make an impact with your closet during these times it's kind of hard to understand what we have the power to make a difference on especially if we're stuck at home, but your clothes are a great place to start. So kind of looks at all of those components, you can do it in two weeks, or two months. You can do it as a self study, or you can do it with two hours of 30 minutes sessions with me. So that's the VIP coaching aspect.


VL: It sounds like the comfy chic formula we talked about today just expanded into so many more facets of our wardrobe and obviously our home and our lifestyle so I really like how you're bringing in this, this, education, and this quality of a more holistic lifestyle I think this is exactly when we need to get to 2021, I just. It sounds like the coffee chic formula we talked about today just expanded into so many more facets of our wardrobe and obviously our home and our lifestyle so I really like how you're bringing in this, this, education, and this quality of a more holistic lifestyle I think this is exactly when we need to get to 2021, I just.

And I'm kind of cringing right now because I definitely have to take care of. So, this sounds like a great starting point to you. Absolutely. You're right on with the, you know, taking a holistic approach to living with style at the core.

I love that well said so we can find that in your Instagram at the link in the bio I'll also put it in the show notes for today's episode, which will be available at Valerie living life.com, forward slash Sarah with an H. And our final round is our rapid fire round, I Oh, wait.


SP: ait I wanted to mention that I'd like to offer a 30% discount to your listeners, and you can get that using the code EMPOWERMENT30 go to link: Citizenne At Home


RAPID FIRE ROUND

[35:17] What are you currently reading or what is your favourite book?

SP: So, I am reading through whole bunch of fashion magazines, from the fall issues but also the you know the first issues of 2021. Specifically, when Black Lives Matter and the anti racist movement. 

Just rose up during the summer, and continues, really wanted to look at how that was playing out in the fashion scene. Especially, and there's of course a sub conversation happening around the sustainable fashion movement, and just really it's been very interesting to me to find the critique and the way forward. Around representation, not just for black people but black indigenous and people of color so I've been looking at the issues that I've been talking about that. And then for fun, but also it's in satire I am reading a book called self care by Lee Stein. And it's great, it's about a self care influencer who's life just goes wrong.

And it really makes you laugh at the self care industry is this a kind of bougie instagrammable thing, and makes you ask that question like what is true self care. So I've been enjoying reading that.


BOOK: Self Care by Leigh Stein

[37:57] What does empowerment mean to you?

SP: This is a great question. I think that it means for women's specifically the freedom to try things. And to fail, without that crush of not being enough. Well you failed because you're not enough, you're not good enough. And I think there's a lot of pressure on women to be perfect, or to do all the things. And when we're truly empowered by ourselves by the people around us. We have the freedom to just try it and see where it goes. We have the freedom to be curious. when we're truly empowered by ourselves by the people around us. We have the freedom to just try it and see where it goes. We have the freedom to be curious.


[39:06] What do you love most about being a woman?

SP: I'm going to say, the adaptability. And that kind of like endless creativity of the daily practice, you think of women, and what they do to make life happen around them they're usually the people who, organizing, and this is, you know, we share this with men and our partners, for sure. But women are usually the ones who are organizing the home menus social events.

All the things to do with their kids. And that's a creative act. And you have to be incredibly adaptable, as well. And I think, I mean, who's to say I'm not, I'm not gonna say we're better at it than men. But the women that I know are way more flexible and can handle, thinking about four or five different things at a time. Sometimes it gets too much so there's a flip side to this, but I would say that. I think it's really cool how adaptable and creative we are.


[40:49] What are you currently working toward?

SP: There's a lot of things that I'm kind of working towards but i'm gonna i'm going to share the fact that I'm working towards mothering. How to mother, because I have my husband and I have not been able to have kids. And we've also decided, I mean, we did all the things. Many of the things, but we've decided not to pursue adoption, or fostering, and I still have a great desire to mother. And so I'm looking at different ways to fulfill that need.

 
Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

Asset 171.png

Categories

Download the FREE Dream Lifestyle Roadmap

Follow on Instagram

Val LaVigne Life Instagram
 
E111: Create Habits Based on Your Core Values
 
 

E111: Create Habits Based on Your Core Values with Deanna Frances

A new spin on core values, and how you can really leverage them this New Years, featuring podcast host; now guest: Deanna Frances…


Leave a review on Apple Podcasts

[0:29] Valerie LaVigne: You're listening to the women's empowerment podcast. Today I am super excited because I get to welcome Deanna Francis to the show. Deana spent 12 years bouncing around from job to job seeking more fulfillment, looking for purpose, she allowed others opinions and their limiting beliefs to guide her decisions. Deanna knew deep in her soul that she had so much more to offer the world than the confinement of the cubicle walls. Now Deana helps others stop conforming to society's norms, thinking they need to pick just one idea, and have one passion, and master, one thing. She encourages trying things and learning how to move and learning how to move on when they no longer serve you.

Deanna Welcome to the show I'm so excited to have you here. Thanks for having me. I'm excited to dive in and chat with you.

So Deanna and I met kind of through a mutual friend in a previous guest on the show so we were really excited when we started to connect to learn more about each other and how we have very similar values and beliefs.

I'm really excited to have her on the show I feel like Deanna You're such a valuable teacher because you've lived this really cool kind of brave and empowering of life, and I know that we've said a little bit about your, your journey in the intro, and how we kind of get to, to break through the norms right you encourage us to break through those norms and to not have to pick one idea and I feel like, personally, this is something that I struggle with a little bit, so many ideas I've seen many passions for a long time. I really believed that I needed to pick just one.

Do people tell you that all the time?


[2:27] Deanna Frances: You know, I always kind of knew that my brain work differently. I'm in my late 30s. So, like, the Nomad life and the trying different things and having multiple careers wasn't really my, you know, age bracket I think it's more acceptable now in the early 20s and the millennials, But, yeah, for me, I always kind of, I just tried things and when they didn't feel right anymore I moved on and I got a lot of pushback in the corporate world right like my family was okay with it they encouraged my imagination and my curiosity and exploring things but in the, in the work world and in my profession is where I got a lot of pushback and we can dive into that a little bit more but yeah I really do I encourage people to try things and to really listen to that whisper of the curiosity, because it's there for a reason and there's a reason that something strikes your curiosity versus strike, my curiosity, and that's what makes these conversations and society so amazing is because we're not all triggered by the same things, you know.


[3:42] VL: Yes, absolutely I've definitely felt those like polls in those callings and they feel so out of alignment with what I think I should be doing, and I feel like when you think you should be doing something like should is a swear word in my mind. Stop shoulding yourself is what I keep telling people and myself as well. But what I want to know is, when we feel that calling and when it's going against the norms of society or our family. What is it that we can do to really come back into our alignment of what works for us, and not conforming to just society or our family's ideas?


[4:23] DF: I think that is a perfect segway to start talking about core personal values, because those are your guiding principles and when you're not living in alignment with your values and what's important to you, you're gonna feel that resistance, and that shooting on yourself it's funny because I say the same thing I have a whole episode about not shitting on yourself.

I'm right there with you but I think that's when we get that resistance from really feeling like we're stepping into our own and living our truest version of ourselves is when we're going against our core personal values, and just to kind of give you a little background from my corporate life I attended you know multiple seminars and they were always talking about how these companies would have mission statements and core values you know integrity and customer service and all the things and I'm like, what about the people like why aren't they teaching the people how to, how to discover their own personal values because you know that's the basis of everything that we're doing is what's most important to us and it doesn't mean that you know you shun somebody for them having their values, they're just different and that's okay.


[5:41] VL: Yes, I definitely know what you're saying with kind of the big picture is great for the business but it's the people who make the business what it is. So, how do we discover our core values, how do we get that clarity on, on what our core values are?


DF: Yes, so I can provide you with a link to a guide that I have, but I'll walk you through briefly the three steps so I call it 1) Choose 2) Define and 3)Align. And so I have a list of about 100 common and I put that in air quotes common values that people would choose. And so I tell people to spend about three to five minutes, and just go with your gut, your first intuition circle, the words that stand out to you, the ones that you go I cannot imagine my life without that I need that in my life that's extremely important to me, and there's going to be overlap words you know like honesty and trust those are very similar. Right. 

And then the next step is where you combine those overlap words to really define your core values and I tell people to choose between three and five as their guiding principles when they're making decisions. And the cool thing is is you get to define it. So let's say, you know, creativity is a value of yours, I'm gonna have a different definition than you, which is cool. I love that part of it, and then the alignment piece is to start making small decisions based on those three to five values that you've defined for yourself. And once you start using those to make small decisions in your life, like, even your next vacation, which might not be a small decision to somebody, but let's just say a weekend getaway. Start using your core values to decide where you want to go. Who do you want to be with. Why do you want to go? And then once you start using it on those smaller decisions again air quotes, then you start to incorporate them into major decisions like, you know, quitting your job starting a business starting a podcast whatever those, those larger things in your life are.


[7:52] VL: I really, I've never really heard about it in those three steps but I like how you've broken them down. I've definitely seen those lists I know that I've I've I've had those resources on my, my pages and my podcasts as well with this is like a variety of words you can choose, but it's also important to you know to pull from outside of the box write what feels good for us and leaning into that, that feel good feeling.

And then it's true, right because defining creativity for you is definitely going to be different for me and not something that I actually learned this year, one of my core values is adventure. And I'd like to travel and traveling has changed a little bit.

So, instead of you know these big trips or I'm on a plane and I'm leaving the country or the province. I've tried different things in like a local area so my partner and I went through top tracking which I've never done before I don't know if you've dropped it on this, but it's basically like zip lining and tree climbing and rock climbing, and it's like an obstacle course, it was so much fun. And it was like an afternoon that we spent together the two of us. It was tons of adventure tons of laughs like exercise activity all the things, and it was great. 

So I think the definite like the defining piece to those three steps is so important because it also helps us see where we can align, like you said, the core values into our lives and I really like how you said, using not to make smaller decisions, because it is kind of closer to the new year and we're starting to think about goals and resolutions and part of me just wants to like, shake it off if someone says like what are your New Year's resolutions because what even our new year's resolutions, I think we should start a new trend of redefining our core values at the beginning of every year and then aligning them in our daily lives. I feel like we just started something brand new. 


[10:00] DF: We did, and not we should we're going to are going to you cannot meet. And you know I'm gonna I'm gonna circle back real quick on your adventure because I also have adventure, as a core value of mine, which isn't surprising that that's common, you know, for us, but I define it as soaking in wherever you're at so whether that's nature its architecture its food and sitting in the chaos, or sitting in the stillness like all of that is adventure to me and to give you a real life example of how I incorporate adventure into my daily routine. If I have a longer commute than normal.

You know to go see a client or something. I'll pop into a new coffee shop on my way, I'll take a different route than I normally would take I'll stop at, you know a place for a smoothie and just sit there for 20 minutes without my phone and just enjoy everything. And so, to give the listener you know a tangible thing that they can think about themselves is those adventure isn't these big grand, you know airplane trips to another country like you were just mentioning sometimes they are you know smaller adventures with whatever society right now allows us to do so. I'm glad that you mentioned that. And yes, let's talk about this fresh start for the new year with defining the values.

So yeah, I think it's I think it's extremely important to do it every year I actually do I reevaluate my reevaluate mine twice a year. Personally, and I've had the same. I've had three core values, the same for five years, And I've revolved in if that's the right word to say two different ones each time I redo them.


[11:57] VL: That's really cool and I think it's important for people to remember that the core values can change. I know when I first started learning about them I'm like, Well, now my core values are this, but then, last year my core values were this and remember we're humans we're always growing we're always changing, we're always learning, and as we expand our core values are going to expand and change, and we'll, they will re evolve and evolve.

That's really cool and I think it's important for people to remember that the core values can change. I know when I first started learning about them I'm like, Well, now my core values are this, but then, last year my core values were this and remember we're humans we're always growing we're always changing, we're always learning, and as we expand our core values are going to expand and change, and we'll, they will re evolve and evolve.


[12:53] DF: That's a really good question. I don't think I've ever been asked that question and it's it's challenging for me to answer because I know it internally, so I'm going to try to explain it the best way that I can is, I feel like your intuition, are you follows your value system, and you have this guide with you, 24 seven right which is your intuition following your value system and as you mentioned they changed. So, so two habits, as we evolve and we grow. Um, so I think for me, having my values, multiple places throughout my house and just kind of reiterating them throughout the day, helps me keep those habits. So again I'm, I'm a real life example kind of person so personal development is a core value of mine. Now every single morning, I make sure that I do something that is expanding my brain. Now, I've just, I just completed 60 days of meditation five minutes every morning I never thought I would ever call myself a meditator right and here I am, I feel like an expert now.

But that was a habit that I decided to create for my own personal growth and personal development. So, just having that in the forefront of my brain, as I'm going through my day, really helps my habits form to those values, which again are my intuition my intuition told me try this meditation thing again Deanna you haven't been able to do it your practice is kind of sucking. Just try this and so I listened right I listened to that whisper because I quieted all the outside noise. Does that answer the question I know it's kind of a long winded answer.


VL: Yeah, I think that was great I think it was a really great example as well because we're, we're tapping into. Okay. What does that feel good spot where is my intuition leading me, and when you said personal development, I thought of something very different. My intuition took me into reading and books and following those mentors that I always think about. And it's funny because about, I think last year I was really into and very consistent with reading for a long time I would also do podcasts, and then at one point, I just felt like I needed to put the books down, and I needed to stop absorbing that information of what other people were saying, and start taking action for myself. And I actually haven't read. I don't think I've read a book this year. No, that's not true. I don't think I read personal development book this year, which is crazy for me because that would have been. But again, it's not changed for me, and a saturating example of how we can tap into our intuition for people who have a little bit more of like a monkey mind or a little bit restless. What are some other ways that we can tap into our intuition?


[15:58] That is so that's such a good question too because I am the monkey mind I don't know if you're familiar with the inia Graham but I'm a, I'm a seven, which is the enthusiast and it's like, I am on to the next best thing. You know the second my mind can go that way. And so yeah, other ways to calm that monkey mind, I have found journaling is huge. And I'll do a brain dump. Every morning, every single morning I get out whatever was on my mind from that night before. I'll even do like to do list my journaling. I'm not strict on it I just journal. And so that one's big you set aside for meditation. I find that I am able to do walking meditation.

And I don't even know if, if I would call it, meditation, but just getting out in the fresh air and depending on where you live what part of the country or what country you're in. I live in Arizona. So, we have pretty good weather all year round but if I'm just in one of those news I just can't calm my mind, I just go step outside even if I just sit in the sun on my back patio for 10 minutes and just like chill out and I think that's another thing with society and the society norms, it's like if you're not go go go. You're falling behind. You're stagnant. Right. But the more time I give myself to chill to hit the reset and to relax and take time for myself, the more productive I become, and the less monkey mind I am so it's like it's so opposite of what you would think right.


[17:39] VL:It is a little bit especially because we're told about, you know, you have to go You have to be busy like people were busy like a badge. And when I catch myself replying to somebody says hey how's it going, what are you been up to. I and I catch myself saying, I'm so busy, like and I really am very busy, but people are like oh well that's good and I always, I stopped that right then and there is a no it's not really good. I don't like being this busy productive obviously is amazing, but I know that when I'm telling people that like oh I'm really busy or I see my calendar is just like back to back to back. I know that I'm not scheduling in that that reset that self care, those daily habits that help me, align so that I can be a better person so that I can enter my zone of genius so that I can get hold of the things done. And I feel like those are little cues and information from our body, because intuition, for me anyway, isn't just sitting and breathing or walking and feeling calm because I do also have a monkey mind. Sometimes it's just like, really interrupting the day to day, dizziness, right, whether it's like a midday bath, which I think we're going to have today, or a midday walk if you're not someone who is doing that.

Just little things that interrupt that daily habit and then also the noise of other things going on like stop the scroll. You know what I mean?


[19:00] DF: Yeah it is finding that noise and I, I say it's not necessarily the outside voices, it's our internal voices and I think that's my biggest takeaway I just recorded an episode on this on my 60 days that five minutes of meditation which some people might sound so silly but I'm so proud of it like knowing my monkey mind can do it. What I found is that I'm able to stop myself in the middle of a repetitive negative thought. And that to me was like, Whoa, that's what they're all these gurus these meditation gurus are talking about when they say stay in the present moment it's recognizing that thought. And having the the bandwidth to to shift, and to think of something different and saying to yourself like is this serving me, is this going to benefit my relationship, my, you know, professional endeavor whatever it is that you're thinking about And if the answer is like no this isn't benefiting me it's not positive, then you have the ability to change it and I think that that that's just so huge and powerful, but it goes back to what's important to you. Right, it all goes back to those values and. And why do you want to do this and I want to I want to bring something up real quick while it while I'm still on this value thing, you know, going back to like, I don't want to say I don't value my family, because it might sound bad but value family is not a value of mine, but it is for a lot of people that I talked to. So in the morning, if that is a value of yours to circle back how you can like add this to your, your daily routine.

Get up 1015 minutes earlier, wake your kids up 1015 minutes earlier and have breakfast with them. Ask them what they're most excited about for the day. Right. So those are the little things that people aren't really necessarily thinking about they're like, I value my family that means I'm going to work really really freaking hard for my family and to provide and to do all these things and it's like, just back it up a little bit. So as you start this new year and you're laying your foundation just think of things like that like your morning is how you're setting your entire day, which is setting your week and your months and on and on so yeah like figure out what those values are and then start using them on the daily.


[21:37] VL: I love that you, you said foundation because, really, this is an opportunity for us to live out this new year with our core values as that foundation and allowing us to really simplify that, especially in the beginning, especially if this is new to to anyone listening and it's like oh core values I never really thought of this before, or how to implement it.

I would say for myself I want to practice, I'm going to practice this for this new year is that I'm going to lay out my core values. I'm going to create the little daily habits to align with them, but I also want to reevaluate that what's working, what's not working, maybe a couple months in three months in every quarter just kind of like you said you do it twice a year. I wouldn't mind like adding to that habit or stacking the habit. With this new, but this foundation of what I've defined as my adventure, my family, my whatever the habit or the core value is part of me. I love that and congratulations for doing 60 days, non stop of meditation. That is huge.


DF: It really is. Thank you for not for not letting me discount that, because it is it was a big deal for me, because I yeah I've tried for four years I've had insight timer on my phone for probably two or three years and I've used it. 50 times maybe and just haven't been able to stay consistent so yeah yeah that was a big deal and I want to touch on, on, I think I mentioned earlier that I have my values like everywhere I have them plastered everywhere. What I mean by that is like my phone my desktop my laptop, you know my fridge. But I'm glad you said what you just said because even taking one value, a week, let's say, so you get your three to five whatever it is if you have seven that's cool too. Not a big deal, but taking one, and that entire week, focusing on one thing, a day that you're going to incorporate that value into your life.

And do I mean you could do a month of personal development, you could do a day of adventure like whatever is gonna work for you. But experiment that's what's fun about it is it's like it's your definition is your value and you get to incorporate it however you want.


VL: You know, I think that is so great. I'm so glad that you mentioned that and I do have a question about your, your meditation because you said you've tried it several times, what do you think changed. This time, that you were able to stick with it for 60 days?


[24:17] DF: That is a great question. You are so good at this. You are so good at these questions, which is why you're a podcast host. So I got rid of all the pressure. I didn't intend to do it for 60 days. My friend was doing it within site timer with this five minute feature that you could do with three minutes, five minutes whatever you could set the time. And she had done it for 30 days and I thought, huh. I'm just going to do it for seven, because I know myself, I know if I put so much pressure and I tried doing this 30 days. It just feels so restrictive that I give up at day five and I'm like I can't do it. You know I've done that so many times on various things like I can't even tell you. And, yeah, once I let go of the. Alright, I stopped putting the pressure on myself, I should say, is when seven days turned into 14 and I was like oh, I'll just go another seven. So I broke it down into smaller increments.


[25:18] VL: That's so helpful and we're starting to implement an align these core values. What do you think would be some other kind of roadblocks or limiting beliefs or things like that that would hold us back, how can we can we overcome those and we're aligning our core values?


DF: worrying about what other people are gonna think that's a huge one. And if you're listening, and you're thinking already like, oh, what if I put this one thing as my value what's my family gonna think or my co workers or whatever and it's like, the more you show up for yourself and understand what is driving your decisions, big and small, the better you're going to be for those people in your life. So I think that's a major roadblock that people have because I before COVID I would host workshops on exactly what we're talking about is defining and aligning the values. And that was one question like I would give is like, or they would talk about their husband or their significant other like sure I like this or I value this but they don't like that's why they're personal to you, and I recommend people do them for themselves. This guy. You do it your significant other does it, and then you see where there's overlap. And that's what my boyfriend and I did we realize we have so many differences, but we have one that is super important to us and it's an adventure. So that's one roadblock that people have another roadblock is, like you said, I think, is people overcomplicate it, it's like simplify it, you know, um, and I think the guide will really help because I talk about how to use overlap words, there's a lot of people like oh I have like these 20 words and they're also similar What do I do and it's like, pick one. Just pick one and define it, and you can change it in a week if it doesn't feel good. Like you keep going back to that feeling right. It doesn't feel good in a week. You can change it, it's your value that's totally fine.


VL: Yeah, those are really good I'm glad that you mentioned the worrying about what other people think, too, because a lot of the times when we start something new that really lights us up and is in alignment with what feels good for us, what we're actually doing is giving other people permission to do the same. And more often than not, they're inspired by what we're doing, versus threatened by it, or confused by it, or a little bit, they usually people don't think that we're radical for bettering ourselves. I mean, obviously, not everyone is in the same alignment or doesn't have the same core values but it also doesn't have to be a very extreme habit or a very extreme new way that we're living at our lifestyles, it could be like journaling, that's a really private thing that, you know, you're taking your time to journal, no one has to read your journal if you don't want them to. It doesn't have to be like everyone isn't around in the circle journaling together. That's a huge thing. It's a private thing for you to do so. But I think those points are really good because there are so many things in our mind that could hold us back. I know that I like to complicate things for sure. 60 days? Let's do it for a year.


[28:38] DF:Exactly, exactly what I'm talking about I mean you hit the nail on the head, and I in that guide that I'm going to provide the link for and you'll you'll add to the show notes, I'm sure.

I talked about the feelings that you're tying to these values and so, just to touch on that real quick.

I like to, I like to have people think of something that made them mad recently like what pissed you off what frustrated you and where did you feel it in your body, did your shoulders get tired your stomach get a knock your face was all heated up, and then opposite to that, what happened when your husband unloaded the dishwasher without a us gain I mean it's something seems so small, but you felt so good. Where did you feel that you felt light right like your shoulders became less tense your stomach felt good you just felt good. And so as you're going through defining your core values. That's what I want people to tie those values to when I say like imagine your life without this theme, like take adventure away we all kind of had that taken away from us during the beginning of COVID, we found ways to get creative. Right. But if you imagine your life without that theme like, what does that make you feel like and where do you feel that in your body, and then that again going back to using this on the daily on a daily basis is you're trying to get away from the things that make you feel crappy and move towards the things that make you feel good, and that to me is pretty quite the alignment.


[30:16] VL: Yeah, absolutely. Our bodies are really incredible things where they're constantly communicating with us they're constantly giving us information about what's good, what's not good for us. And I feel like when we're so caught up in the mind and we're so caught up, especially the monkey minds. We lose touch with that physical with those physical signals that we're getting all the time. All the time. So I really yeah I'm really glad you said that and I will link the guide. And, as well as your information in the show notes page, which is available at Valerie levine.com forward slash Deanna EAA and so it's really easy to find, for your listeners today. Speaking of finding you. Where can we find you. Where can we follow you, how can we support your business.



[31:07] DF: Thank you. Well, I am most active on Instagram, gave a Facebook of the beginning of 2020, because it was just too much to try to keep, keep track of it all so add lean into curiosity is my handle for Instagram, that's also my podcast. So on there, on my bio there is a link to my website as well. So, one stop shop Instagrams usually the best place.

http://leanintocuriosity.com



[31:33] VL: Amazing. We will include that link too. I feel like today was such a great episode I feel like the entire thing was a one big juicy nugget. It's like one of those. One of those that nesting dolls called. I feel like we opened one juicy nugget. And then the next and then the next and you just keep opening it and it's all these little takeaways.

I feel like we can start, we can start anywhere, especially with just choosing those three to five core values and getting started with this new year. Fresh Start which I feel like everyone needs.


DF: I said that to somebody the other day I was like, Ah, you know we're all looking forward to New Year's like yeah well we were all looking forward to 2022, I was like, stop it. Don't say that.


VL: Just cover your ears La la la la. Oh my god. But you know what, that just I feel like it just brings us back into the present more and more. When we don't over plan or overthink or overlook into too much of the future, when we focus on our core values, but they're going to align us to where we need to be because we're getting into that zone of genius we're getting into our feel good spot and things just open up from there. So, this is a this is a great way to start this new adventure, we'll call it. 


[32:53] DF: Yes. And, and by understanding your values, too, and living in alignment with them you're going to attract the right people at the right time for the right reasons. And that's been my motto through all of this cluster we've all been going through together it's just, okay, this is, this is happening. And everything is happening the way that it's supposed to happen.


RAPID FIRE ROUND

1. What are you currently reading? OR Favourite book?

Danielle Laporte - Desire Map

2. What do you love most about being a woman?

I love having a cycle that I can follow and understanding what's happening to my hormones throughout my cycle, and using that to my advantage, there's times where you're more productive. Because your estrogen is higher, there's times where you're more internal because your estrogen is lower, and I have been obsessed with thinking my cycle for three years now, and I think. Yeah, having the emotions I feel like sometimes as women we're like, taught to kind of push them down and really leaning into those emotions is huge. So, I have a weird answer.


3. What does “empowerment” mean to you?

Giving people, and yourself permission to be authentic.


4. What are you currently working toward?

I am working towards. Six Figure business with multiple revenue streams. And so I recently I think we met, I mentioned this before we hit record I have a podcast management company, and I'm an a consultant and I have the podcast myself. And so I didn't want to put all my eggs in one basket and so that's what I'm working towards I'm working towards really being creative and everything that I do and having these multiple pieces and then tying them all together, I just that excites me.

 
Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

Asset 171.png

Categories

Download the FREE Dream Lifestyle Roadmap

Follow on Instagram

Val LaVigne Life Instagram
 
E110: Q&A: Healthy Habits
 
 

E110: Q&A: Healthy Habits

[00:29] Hello welcome back to the women’s empowerment podcast! This is our final episode of 2020 and what a year it has been!!!


Leave a review on Apple Podcasts

Last week we celebrated the year with our Women’s Empowerment Holiday Party and we counted down the top 5 episodes of the year. If you haven’t already listened to that episode, head over to WWW.VALERIELEAVINGELIFE.COM/109 so you can join in on the holiday fun!

Episode #109: Holiday Party: 2020 Countdown! www.valerielavignelife.com/109

Today’s episode is a Q&A Special! Every 10 episodes I answer 10 questions all about a specific topic, and our theme this round is Healthy Habits. Which is the perfect segway to the sponsor of this episode!

This podcast episode is brought to you by my Healthy Habits workshop! I created these monthly workshops so that you could feel connected, and supported with creating your healthy habits, rituals, and lifestyle routines. In the virtual group setting you will be able to learn about the healthy habit theme of the month, as well as ask questions specific to your own needs and journey.

The workshops are here to help you go from overwhelmed and confused about habit-building, healthy lifestyle, and essential oils, and give you clarity and confidence with finding a routine that works best for you.

To join the new Healthy Habit workshop, go to WWW.VALERIELAVIGNELIFE.COM/WORKSHOP and sign up today!

This past workshop was all about Rituals & Transitions and it was such a success with the group of women that showed up and participated. They also had some great questions, which I know listeners of the podcast are also asking! 

[2:18] Let’s start with Kaylie, she asked:

#1. How can we recognize when a healthy habit is no longer serving us? When can we know it’s time to move on vs just not feeling motivated?

This is a great question!

It’s possible that the habits we’ve built will no longer serve us, because circumstances change, relationships change, we change. I mean, take this year for example… BIG CHANGES!


The question to ask ourselves is: are my habits bringing me closer to my current goals or halting my growth? This is why we always start with our intention, and we build out our habits around that intention.

Not all habits are good, or healthy, and when our goals change, so do our behaviours. You’ll want to reevaluate your goals and daily behaviours to see if they are in alignment.

Kaylie also asked.. 

[3:14] #2. How do we prevent feeling guilty/bad/lazy if we miss our habits?

I have three answers and they’re sprinkled with a bit of tough love. You ready?

Firstly: Let it go. Missing a habit happens. It’s okay. Habits are easy to do, and they are a lot easier NOT to do. We all miss a day sometimes, but feeling guilty or bad or lazy doesn’t bring you closer to your goals. It actually does the opposite. 

Secondly: Take a break. Maybe your body needs to rest? Perhaps you needed to feel what it was like to NOT do it, so that you remember why you are doing it in the first place? Realign with your intention.

Thirdly: Ask yourself: is this habit helping me or hurting me? Consider what or why you’re feeling unmotivated and not doing the work? Is your habit too complicated? Is it at the wrong time of day? Is not not serving your bigger soul goals? If it’s not helping you, it might be hurting you. On the other hand, there might be something you need to do BEFORE implementing this habit you’re struggling to keep consistent with. It’s an opportunity for investigation.


Sonia had a really common question....

[4:34] #3 I’m looking for a healthy habit when it comes to eating more whole foods, but not actually having to prepare, cook, steam, whole foods. Implementing small habits here and there to eat better. 

I had a chuckle at this question because I know Sonia, and SHE knows the answer I’m going to give her. I know she knows this because she is a coach and this is literally what we teach. 


How many times have we wanted something in life but we didn’t want to put in the work? Honestly I couldn’t even tell you because TBH I’ve lost count.

This question leads me to simplify the habit as much as possible. HEALTHY CAN BE SIMPLE. I feel like I need this printed on a t-shirt. Honestllllly! There are meal subscription services, pre-made juices and smoothies, opportunities to hire chefs or someone to prep you some meals that you can freeze. There are a lot of services out there.

If you’re not interested in investing in these services well… Sonia actually answered her own question in her actual question, when she said, “implementing small habits here and there to eat better.” 

Start small! Maybe it’s drinking more water, or incorporating more vegetables. Perhaps it’s making balanced lunches or dinners twice a week. Make it simple and keep it simple!

Craig and I make breakfast smoothies every night. We both get up pretty early and are out the door early so we make smoothies the night before for a quick grab and go breakfast.

We actually started with lunches and now we do smoothies AND lunches. In the beginning if you told me I had to make 2 lunches and 2 smoothies every night with dinner I would be overwhelmed and crumble. Now we have a flow and it makes sense. We cook lunch and dinner together. Sometimes dinner is also the next day’s lunch = yay for leftovers.

While dinner is cooking we make salads and smoothies. When we clean up the dinner mess, we pack up the lunch food. Done and done.

Heather’s question is next:

[7:39] #4 How to find balance between not pushing myself too hard (which I always do aka ignore my body) and balance staying motivated and fairly consistent with something like workouts?

Right now I’m loving small goals, and it’s really working for me so maybe that’s me answering myself lol but I’m sure there’s others like me where it’s all or nothing instead of listening to your body and adjusting your expectations that day.

Struggling with the extremes of GO ALL OUT, VS DO NOTHING.

Did you hear the answer to the question too?? She had some great creative solutions which were:

  1. Small goals. How do you climb a mountain friends? ONE STEP AT A TIME.

  2. Listening to your body. You know your body better than anyone else. You will know if your body needs a break or if your body is avoiding change or it’s scared.

  3. Adjusting your expectations. BINGO. We aim for big goals, and that is amazing. I promise you that is so great. It’s even better if we actually get there, and I’ll tell you right now success doesn’t happen overnight. Which is why we are talking about the SMALL, SEEMINGLY INSIGNIFICANT BEHAVIOURS WE DO EVERY SINGLE DAY THAT LEAD US TO OUR GOALS. 

With this struggle, I believe it’s important to remember that just like the entire planet Earth, our bodies and our lives also have seasons and cycles. There are going to be days and weeks we want to go hard, and there are going to be days and weeks where we want to go home.

Yes, listening to your body is a big part of this, but so is setting realistic goals. Realistic for YOU and your lifestyle and your schedule.

[9:43] Question #5 is from CANDICE: Do you have a couple different morning rituals? Like say you have endless time, then you do your mega am ritual, if you’re running late, than you have like one or two ritual items that are non negotiable? If so, what are your non negotiable rituals? 

I do! Coffee is pretty much the main non negotiable, as well as essential oils. However it is a very specific coffee ritual that I do every morning that makes it so important to me. 

Val’s morning coffee ritual:

Mug + enhanced collagen powder + oat milk + nespresso + “ritual” spoon
Add powder to mug, pour milk to frother, add pod to coffee machine. Press two buttons to start.

As the coffee is pouring, stir the powder into the coffee counter clockwise removing staleness, stagnation and bad vibes from my aura and energy.

Once the coffee is poured, add in the frothy oat milk, stir clockwise 3 times, stirring in the intention for the day and seal with a pentagram.

As I drink the coffee, drink in the intentions for the day.

In regards to the oils, I gravitate to different blends depending on what my body intuitively needs. Once I choose my oil or oil blend I can then use it accordingly. For example if I want to feel more steady or centred, I will grab balance blend and place a drop on the soles of my feet.

If I need an energetic pick-me-up I reach for my peppermint roller and apply it to my temples and the back of my neck.

If I want deeper, fuller breaths, I use breathe/easy air on my chest and forearms.

There are some other pieces of my ritual that come and go, depending on the season ;) 

[12:15] Candice also asked, or I guess said because it isn’t structured in a question (#6): Not making play worthy, or not allowing time for fun and feeling guilty when I’m not getting work done. I tell myself that the thing that is fun and brings me joy isn’t important enough/productive enough.

I have most definitely experienced this feeling before. And here is what I told Candice, and what I tell myself when I get caught up in this limiting mindset: YOU GET TO CHOOSE WHAT’S IMPORTANT TO YOU.

For me, I believe that life must be lived as play. Life can be fun and exciting IF we prioritize these things. Honestly, my day goes by quicker, the tasks get done with more love when I invite play. I am more creative, more open, more helpful when I incorporate play into my life.

Let’s go back to the intentions we talked about. What is the goal? How do we want to feel? What sort of activities and experiences and things bring us to our feelings words? Think of the past when you’ve felt this way before, what were you doing? Who were you with? Now think about how you can experience those same feelings again. 

I can almost guarantee that being productive isn’t the feeling word we immediately thought of - and disclaimer if it was for you that’s okay too. There are days where my intention is to be productive; but this isn’t the feeling that I aim for. 

It’s okay to take some pressure off of ourselves, and actually enjoy!

[14:58] Question #7 is from Tammy, she says: I would love to create and stick with a more productive morning ritual, both personally and professionally! Adding into the current morning ritual (walk + lemon water… now we want to add stretching + meditation as well)

Habit stacking is one of my favourite things to teach because it’s one of the most effective ways to create and stick with healthy habits. Habit stacking is the concept of adding in one behaviour, letting it become a habit and then stack or add another habit to that first behaviour, and so on and so forth.

This method is PERFECT for things like morning routines, or evening rituals or healthy eating. It’s really perfect for any habit building haha 

One of the best ways to start is to take a look at the habits you already have and decide which one(s) you want to add onto. We can use Tammy as the example because she has her morning ritual which is her walk and lemon water and now she and her husband want to add stretching and meditation. My suggestion to Tammy was to choose ONE of those to add in next. They both take time and we can’t always add into two things in the beginning especially if they were both very time consuming. 

So Tammy has several options and one of them is to get up earlier to mediate, or cut the walk shorter to stretch. What else could Tammy do? She could start with really short and sweet meditations: 1 minute to start. Everyone has one or even three minutes that they can take out of their morning to meditate. 

They key here is to start simple and stack. Another great tip for habit stacking is to add to what you’re already doing. This is what I did with my coffee ritual. I wanted to be more intentional, that was an important goal. Meditation wasn’t working for me in the mornings, but I knew I wanted to start my day with intention, which is how and why I created that morning coffee time. I was already preparing the beverage, now I was upgrading the habit to help me with my goals.

[17:46] (#8) Our eighth question was inspired by Steph. We got into talking about motivation and how it changes. We also got into the topic of self love and self kindness.

Remember that starting something new can be scary, and tough, and overwhelming, and a challenge. Especially in the beginning when we’re figuring it all out. This is part of the journey. This is part of the whole process. This is part of the MAGIC! 

What are some things that motivate YOU? Is it a sticker on a calendar every day? Is it an inspirational quote as your phone wallpaper? Is it having an accountability buddy? Is it sharing your goal socially so that other people can cheer you on and watch you grow/glow??

Incorporate those things into your habit journey. Make them a part of your success and your tracking and accountability. 

Also, be kind to yourself: ALWAYS! You are making positive changes, big moves forward, and you have already taken a step closer to your goals just by listening to this episode. By taking the time to learn more about how you can succeed! Pat yourself on the back!!!

[19:00] Question #9 is also from Kaylie who shared that she struggles with transitioning from one-activity-to-the-next. How can we master and have these transitions in our everyday life?

You have to decide what works best for you, sometimes that means testing different suggestions out, so here are a few to try:

Time-Blocking: This is a great way to schedule your time and be intentional with your calendar and tasks. I do this every single week. Typically on a Sunday Night, sometimes it’s the night before. When I schedule something into my calendar it almost always gets done.

One of the other suggestions from our workshop was to create a [Cleaning] Ritual between tasks/sessions: For example in between calls or emails you have a specific ritual that helps you transition into the next message. Cleaning was the suggestion because if we are seeing clients or patients we clean after and prep before each client. I know some people who have a ritual walking under a doorway to reset. Sometimes I take an extra minute in my car before coming into the house after being at the studio all day with lots of people.

Pre-planning and organizing your week is similar to time blocking. You can do this in a way that you’re breaking up your to-do list into each day of the week. A lot of the time I will write out all of the things I have to do, and then prioritize them and/or add them to the to-do list for Monday or for Thursday.

It’s important to notice how many tasks you’re actually putting into your calendar. My rule is 3-5 tasks a day.

Yes… I have been doing quite a few things lately, and because I time block and meal prep and do EXTRA pre-planning a lot of this is possible. However it isn’t sustainable and I know this, so I don’t make my to-do list extra long. It’s not a badge of honour that’s for sure.

When you’re trying to figure out what works best for you, look at where the transition is a struggle. Is it while you’re in a creative zone of genius, is it because you are switching tasks often? When you find the leaks in your day, the holes in the calendar, THEN you can begin to mend and master transitions.

Also check out a previous episode of the show called Mastering Transitions: www.valerielavignelife.com/07

[22:43] Our last question is actually by me! (#10) When I’m working with clients in small groups or one-on-one we spend time discovering and overcoming excuses that hold you back from getting your goals done, or doing your habits; and then begin to build out your action plan. The question I always ask is: What needs to get done BEFORE your habit? Are there any foreseeable obstacles that could hold you back from doing the habit/do the feeling?

However I am not sharing the answer to this question on the show. Instead I want YOU to answer this question for yourself and your own goals. 


What needs to get done before you start this new habit?

What are the foreseeable obstacles?

How will you overcome them?

Okay so it’s a 3-part question, but I BELIEVE in you!

Share with me, chat with me, let’s connect on instagram! Find me @vallavignelife

 
Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

Asset 171.png

Categories

Download the FREE Dream Lifestyle Roadmap

Follow on Instagram

Val LaVigne Life Instagram
 
Health & WellnessVal LaVigne
E109: Holiday Party! Best of 2020
 
 

E109: Holiday Party! Best of 2020

Hello, welcome back to the women’s empowerment podcast! Today we are having our holiday party!!! And by we I mean me, myself and I hahaha But how cool would it be if we could bring back a few of the guests from 2020 to celebrate the year together? Perhaps next year we can have a collaborative show! Or maybe some of the listeners can pop into the episode! I would love that too!!


Leave a review on Apple Podcasts

This is our second holiday party and there are a few traditions that we’re going to continue on for the show.

The first is that I always have a holiday beverage when I record. Last year I was drinking a festive kombucha I made. I’m going to link to that episode for you because there are a few tasty recipes I shared.

This year I am drinking a Mistletoe Margarita, and I thought that I made this up but then I realized that other people had this idea too. Here’s the recipe…

Last year’s recipes
www.valerielavignelife.com/59 


MISTLETOE MARGARITA

⅓ Cup Cranberry Juice
2 oz Tequila 
½ oz Lime Juice
1 cup Cubed Ice (more as needed)
Sugared cranberries and fresh mint leaves for garnish 

I like mine on the rocks, but you can blend yours if you like.

  1. Rim the glass using a lime and ground himalyan salt (can also use kosher salt, some like to mix with sugar but I like it salty)

  2. Blended: Pour all ingredients into a blender, blend until smooth

  3. On the Rocks: Add ingredients into a cocktail shaker, shake a few times

  4. Pour into glass and garnish

  5. Drink up! 


Hopefully you’re listening and joining me with a drink. Maybe a morning coffee, or post workout protein shake. Wherever you are, and whatever you’re drinking… Cheers!

[3:06] Now we don’t just drink on this episode… no no no! We also count down the top 5 episodes of the show this year. So let’s start with the fifth most popular episode [5] Episode 94: Natural Tools for Healthy Habits.

This is a great episode! It’s full of helpful tools, additional resources, AND I’m currently updating the freebie to this episode along with the rest of my website which you will all be able to see very soon! Seriously can’t wait for that.

In this episode I share dōTERRA’s Healthy Habit Collection and how to use the products in the kit. From essential oils to quality supplements, I go through each one. I also give you a list of previous episodes that are all about essential oils and how to incorporate them into your lifestyle.

As you probably already know I love oils SO MUCH, and use them daily! On instagram I share a daily diffuser blend, you can find me @vallavignelife 


Today’s diffuser blend is called

“Santa’s Workshop” 
2 drops Wild Orange
2 drops Peppermint
2 drops Cypress
2 drops dōTERRA’s Holiday Joy blend


A few more diffuser blend recipes:

“O Christmas Tree”
2 drops Siberian FIr
2 drops Wild Orange
2 drops Cinnamon Bark

“Winter Wonderland”
3 drops Peppermint 
2 drops Bergamot
1 drop Cypress


[4:58] The fourth most popular episode of the Women’s Empowerment Podcast is actually a bonus episode with one of the special guests from the show. I was totally blown away by this episode and absolutely loved chatting with and learning from this guest. The episode was... [4] BONUS: The Power of Positivity & Building Social Engagement with Ingrid Deon!

Ingrid is such an inspiration and a wealth of knowledge on social media marketing. I met Ingrid this year in a virtual coworking community with Toronto’s Co-Working Space MAKE LEMONADE. We got to know each other through this community and she was one of the first people from this network to apply for a spot on my show and I’m so glad she did.

Okay, and the beginning of this episode I mentioned how cool I thought it would be to have a collective of people at this holiday party, so I decided to try the next best thing and I reached out to Ingrid to see if she could share her TOP 3 SOCIAL MEDIA TIPS for going into 2021! Here’s what she shared…

TIP #1: Make Use of the Available Features that Exist with Social Media

TIP #2: Humanize Your Company

TIP #3: If You’re Not Using LinkedIn Yet - DO IT!


More about Ingrid + Women’s Empowerment Podcast:
http://valerielavignelife.com/ingrid 


[11:38] Okay the third most popular episode of the year is [3] Episode 102: Choosing Courage Over Fear with Tasha Romanelli. Tasha and I also met through MAKE LEMONADE and we kept virtually crossing paths in different workshops and zoom calls over the spring. Then somehow we found out that we lived only 15-ish minutes away from each other and decided to meet for walks. There are some nice paths and trails near where I live and she brought her dog Mala and we would walk for an hour and talk. A few times I said that our conversations would be amazing for the show and it’s too bad we didn’t record them! 

However, we did eventually record an episode together and it was OMazing as Tasha would say! Now if there is one thing I can tell you about Tasha, it’s that she is a FORCE. She is this beaming light of love, kindness, and spiritual power! 

She shows up very authentically in this episode and brings some really powerful and practical tools for choosing courage over fear, and letting your freak out!

I also reached out to Tasha and asked her if she could share a New Year’s Eve Ritual with us. Here’s what she shared…

HELP YOU MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TO LIFE

#1 Create a Personal Totem 

#2 Create a Dream PIllow

#3 Create a Vision Board

energyiseverything.ca


[20:53] Now the second most popular episode came as a BIT of a surprise for me, but it’s absolutely perfect. It’s [2] Episode 92: An Action Plan for How to Be a Morning Person. I shouldn’t be THAT surprised because I get this question a lot and it’s one of the reasons why I created this episode in the first place. 


Now I really broke things down in this episode. I share the incredible benefits of waking up early. Then I go into detail of how to make it real for you. This includes the DO’s and DON’Ts of your alarm clock, and how to take advantage of all your extra time.


This episode also includes a lot of hot tips so that you can be successful in creating a morning routine, and I walk you through the step-by-step process of making an action plan.


Okay, so it’s a pretty value-packed episode… it’s no wonder it’s the second most popular episode this year! If being a morning person is something you’re working toward then I highly recommend starting with this episode. If you’re ready to go deeper with your morning routines, I’d like to invite you into my upcoming Healthy Habit Workshop: Morning Routines on Wednesday February 3rd, 2021.


You can find the details for this online workshop at WWW.VALERIELAVIGNELIFE.COM/WORKSHOP My goal for you for this workshop is to support you with getting clear and creating an action plan for your morning routine. It’s a virtual group workshop where I will teach you the best ways to build your mornings, plus there’s an opportunity at the end of the workshop to ask questions and get more support that is specific to your goal(s).


If you’re listening to this workshop past the workshop date, no worries! I am hosting healthy habits workshops on the first wednesday every month for 2021 and each month has a new topic! I hope to see you there! You can visit the show notes page to learn more at the workshops page at WWW.VALERIELAVIGNELIFE.COM/WORKSHOP


Now last year I had a list of 21 questions that I wanted to answer every year as a time capsule memory for fun, but this year I’ve decided that it’s not really beneficial to the show. So I will most definitely be doing the 21 questions in my own journaling practice, and they’re very interesting, especially if you’re looking back on them, so I will share the 21 questions with you this year in the show notes page. They are fun, personality-quiz type of questions and it’s pretty interesting to re-listen, or re-read to your own advice sometimes. 

www.valerielavignelife.com/59 < List of Questions


[24:26] And now… our top episode of 2020 was… [1] Episode 81: 5 Tips for Positive Self-Talk this episode was published in the late spring of this year. To be honest, I’m not entirely surprised by this. We’ve all had a HUGE year and this episode more than ever is so flippin important.

 
Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

Asset 171.png

Categories

Download the FREE Dream Lifestyle Roadmap

Follow on Instagram

Val LaVigne Life Instagram
 
E108: 8 Questions to You MUST Ask Before Planning 2021
 
 

E108: 8 Questions to You MUST Ask Before Planning 2021

Going through eight important questions we need to be asking before making any decisions to plan for the new year. We’re breaking down what worked, and what didn’t to make for a more successful 2021!


Leave a review on Apple Podcasts

[00:25] Hey there, welcome back to the Women’s Empowerment Podcast! It’s been a whole year since we had our business ritual: end of year review episode and I’m not even really sure how to even describe this last year for myself - I’m sure you can relate - as we all can: 2020 was a bit of a shit show.

Nonetheless! We can still complete our End of Year Review and this year I have eight questions to help prepare you for the upcoming year.

Now last year I took you through a very thorough business ritual.
Episode #57: Business Ritual: End of Year Review
www.valerielavignelife.com/57

This is a three part ritual that takes you deep into your business analytics and really helps you create the plan for the following year. It’s a very specific ritual that I use and I highly recommend, especially if you’re looking at growing and evolving your business, as well as creating a clear business strategy. It’s so great if you started something new this year and you want to really understand how it performed with your audience. Or if you’re looking for the next step and you aren’t sure what that is, it will help you better understand where to put your energy moving forward.

It does take some time, so please give yourself the proper day to do the work and really set yourself up for success. It’s worth it.

Today’s episode is more of a basic - yet important - piece to the full ritual. It’s all about eight key questions to ask yourself before planning the new year. These questions are not in last year’s ritual, but they are essentially the summary of the deeper more specific questions.

With that being said, you can ask these eight questions about your business as a whole, and/or you can ask these questions for each part of your business.

For example, for myself, I have multiple streams of income and I produce different things for each of these income streams. I can then ask the same eight questions for each income stream and I will better understand each section of my business. This can help me strategize each of the areas.

Okay, let’s get to the questions shall we!?


[3:27] QUESTION NUMBER ONE: 

What business mindset practice has been working for you so far?

I love this question because the answer usually jumps out at you really fast. And sometimes that answer is: “I don’t have a mindset practice.” Which means your starting point is going to be: choosing a mindset practice! YAY! 

Now I did say “business” however you can change this to anything really. It can be:

  • Health and wellness mindset

  • Money mindset

  • Relationship mindset

  • Positive mindset

  • And so on

I will link to a few previous mindset episodes in the show notes page for you to give you some extra ideas and resources. 

Episode #101: Modern Magic: Spell Casting
Episode #98: Five Ways to Nourish Your Relationship with Money
Episode #97: Overcoming Impostor Syndrome
Episode #91: These 3 Mistakes are Holding us Back from our Creativity
Episode #86: Three Keys to Creating Space to Attract More abundance
Episode #81: Five Tips for Positive Self Talk
Episode #71: Using Your Intuition and the Third Eye Chakra
Episode #69: What 365 Days of Gratitude Taught Me
Episode #67: Communicating with Power
Episode #66: Elevate Your Life by Living with Intention
Episode #63: How to Fail & Make Happiness Your Compass
Episode #53: How to Build Your Confidence Tool Kit
Episode #48: What to Do When Fear Shows Up
Episode #47: How to Shift from Resistance to Resilience 
Episode #44: This Judgment Detox will Blow Your Mind
Episode #39: Becoming the Best Version of Yourself
Episode #34: Seven things you Must Do when Creating HEalthy boundaries
Episode #28: Know Your Worth
Episode #07: Mastering Transitions
Episode #04: Your Mindset is a Habit

I think the list is 20 different episodes. So if you’re looking for some ideas, read through the episode titles and listen to the one that speaks to you the most. You don’t want to overwhelm yourself with all the different things.

Some of my mindset practices this year have been my daily intention setting practice. I start every morning with a coffee ritual. I have a very specific way of making and drinking my coffee. Part of the ritual is stirring the coffee counter-clockwise to release any negative, stale, or unhelpful emotions or feelings, followed by stirring in my intention for the day. This really helps me set the tone for the day.

Other mindset practices I’ve used in my past for business and life are:

  • Meditation

  • Gratitude journal

  • Creating my own content BEFORE consuming other people’s content

  • Honouring boundaries around my phone/computer/social media/work hours

  • Affirmations

Each of these practices have served me and my business and really helped me stay on track with my goals and strategy. 

If you’re starting a new strategy here are my 4 tips for beginning

TIP #1: Choose one strategy that you are most drawn to.

TIP #2: Intuitively schedule it into your calendar. You’ll know when to do this practice - and you can always adjust it later

TIP #3: Give yourself some time to really implement and make this practice a habit; keep going if you skip a day; just reset. I recommend trying it out for three months to really see if it’s working for you. If you’re still doing it three months from now, you’ll know whether or not it’s helpful or hurtful and serving your goals/strategy

TIP #4: Have a back-up practice. If by day 7 you’re dreading your mindset practice, ditch it and try practice B. Maybe the whole meditation in the morning was an alluring practice that other mentors thrived with, but it wasn’t your bag. Perhaps there is a different meditation practice or mindfulness practice you can try that suits you better.



[7:58] QUESTION NUMBER TWO:

What mindset practice hasn’t been working? 

What this question is discovering is: What are your blocks/limiting beliefs? What’s holding you back right now?

Think about anything that you have had on your to do list for a long time, or your goals/dreams list. What isn’t getting done? What isn’t coming to reality? What limiting belief is coming up for you?

The answer to these questions will reveal where your mindset strategy can really evolve. Is it a mindset block? Is it impostor syndrome? Are you taking on too much and you need support?

When you have the answer, the next step is clear. Perhaps you will invest in a money mindset coach? Maybe you’ll hire a VA to help you with your long list of to-do’s. Maybe you need to reevaluate your work-life boundaries and log off social media more often. Perhaps you’ll join a network of entrepreneurs who can relate to you and hold you accountable for your practices. 


There are a lot of solutions and ideas, all you have to do is pin-point the block so that you can choose and take action on the best solution for you.

Here’s where you might get stuck!

You might notice you have more than one block. See if these blocks have any similarities. For example “I’m afraid of success” is similar to “I can’t make more money” and they have to do with self-worth. 

If you’re really struggling with understanding your mindset and you want to master your mindset practice, I have a Make a Habit Mentorship program that takes you from overwhelmed and frustrated to Clear and Empowered. It’s a four week mentorship with weekly calls. You can get all the details for this offering at WWW.VALERIELAVIGNELIFE.COM/MENTORSHIP, and you can also find me on instagram @vallavignelife if you have any questions about the mentorship program.


[10:28] QUESTION NUMBER THREE:

What community growth worked? What strategy produced the best results: followers + engagement + networking + clients +  strategies + etc. 

Of all the emails you send out, all the content you produce, all the DMs you send out, what helped you build your following, your engagement, your audience, and your paying clients?

What I like to do for this question is write out all the ways I grow my community and rank each of them from best to least. This is also another question that you can really dive deep into. You can choose exactly which analytics you’d like to review. I like to break this down for each area of my business, as well as each strategy.

For example:

Exhale Pilates Studio
Private Virtual Classes 
Essential Oil Customers 
Healthy Habits Workshops
Mentorship Clients

Since these areas of business are very different, I also have different strategies for them. I use my podcast to build my online business, and I use other social media strategies and partnerships with local businesses to grow the physical brick and mortar studio I have. The strategies are different because the ideal customers are different!

Speaking of ideal customers. If you’re not sure what brought people to you, ASK YOUR AUDIENCE! Do a survey or a poll in your social or with you email list: How did you hear about us? Yep, it’s really that simple lol



[12:43] QUESTION NUMBER FOUR:

Which community growth techniques DIDN’T WORK? 

Reviewing your insights and ranking your strategies will clarify the answer to this question right away. You can also look at where you put in lots of work, but not a lot of results came from it.


I did this specifically with my podcast when I first started the show and it has helped me grow the Women’s Empowerment Podcast to what it is today.

I used to have a weekly live IG and FB show, which I converted into an audio podcast and also a youtube video. The insights and analytics showed me that the podcast was EXPLODING and the youtube and IG lives were not as powerful.

I eliminated the videos and kept the audio + show notes of the show and I haven’t looked back. The podcast is booming and I have more time to produce quality episodes and also invite guests onto the show instead of spending the time working on videos that weren't converting.

Where can you adjust or remove certain investments in time or money and better use your resources and energy for things that ARE working!?


[15:32] QUESTION NUMBER FIVE:

Which “nourishing techniques” really worked; anything where you’re providing value? 

Nourishing techniques are your added value. Things like freebies, podcast episodes, specific instagram posts, blog posts, IGTV, Youtube. 

Look at your stats and insights, they are so valuable for business owners and entrepreneurs because they really tell us what’s working and what isn’t. The biggest mistake entrepreneurs make is NOT reviewing what we’ve done in the past and this really saves us from making the same mistakes or not growing the things that have ALREADY worked! I’ve done this myself which is why I stress it to other people haha 

So one of the things that I’m starting to move away from is this super aesthetic instagram feed. I know someone just rolled their eyes at me but hear me out! The motivational quotes on my instagram always convert really well to saves and shares and sometimes comments that create conversation with others. This is great and means engagement is high SUPER!


I also get A LOT of compliments from people telling me how much they love my feed and a lot of questions on how I do this. This also creates meaningful conversations and engagement in a slightly different way, because it’s usually in the DM’s which are GOLD in the world of social media marketing. 

So now, I’m strategizing how I can create the valuable content and still make it look pretty - A LOT HARDER THAN IT SEEMS my friends lol

One thing I have started doing in my online business is I changed up my email structure and I’ve gotten some great immediate feedback from making it more aesthetic and also offer multiple pieces of value for people following along. 

Remember your audience has A LOT of the answers that you’re looking for because they are the people who are following, consuming, and engaging with your business. They are the people you are trying to convert. Sometimes growth is about deepening connection with the people you currently serve and not how to 10x your social media following. 

Ask your audience THIS or THAT questions to help you understand what they love about your content and learn how you can do better.


[22:34] QUESTION NUMBER SIX:

What didn’t work, what didn’t make much impact? 

Again, really evaluate the “numbers” and poll the audience, review the insights. These are going to tell you straight up what isn’t working. I pulled up some of my instagram post insights and what I learned was that if I wasn’t in the post it didn’t do the best. This is overall interactions.

But we all know, when it comes to instagram, likes don’t have the same value/impact as saves + shares.

So when I look at the number of saves: some of my posts with the lowest number of comments and likes have the most saves. These are my quote boxes/ text posts/ carousels/ recipes.

Looking at the analytics will tell you what’s working, what isn’t and will also help you get clear on your next moves/what your intentions are.

Do you want people to be inspired by your content and let it be something that looks really good?

Do you want your audience to learn and take action on your content?

Learn about what they already do to see what kind of audience you have and how you can build on it. This is where the GOAL is also helpful. Have clarity so you can see which insights are the best for you to look at instead of getting caught up in all the numbers. 

[24:26] QUESTION NUMBER SEVEN:

What sales techniques worked? 

Not all of the freebies and content you’re creating is converting into sales. However there are some specific things we do to launch and sell.

Did the live videos get people on the phone with you? Is your sales page converting? Did you host any webinars or challenges; how did they convert into sales?

Most of my webinars convert into sales. Specifically my LIVE webinars. However, this month I hosted my first Healthy Habits workshop and I didn’t launch it on a webinar. Instead I shared it in the stories and in my posts.

I used instagram stories to explain and launch. I also did a giveaway celebrating over 20 000 downloads of the podcast. And gave a spot away in the workshop AND mentorship program. I slid into dm’s and replied to people's comments and got really active and engaged on social media and sold 7/10 spots I opened up for the first workshop.

I wasn’t JUST responding like I normally do, I was opening up conversations about the topic I was speaking to and asking questions and really creating this dialogue with my audience. I mixed that in with face-to-camera stories, to examples of how I incorporate the lessons into my own life, and I publicly answered questions about the workshop.

To build excitement I also welcomed each person into the workshop as people started to join and had a post it of their name on my wall as a way to say welcome and thank you! 

I also created a HIGHLIGHT on my page which was new where anyone could see the content and posts related to the workshop to get more information. 

I also followed up with anyone who said they were interested the day before and got a last minute sign up because of it. 

PLUS… AFTER the workshop I went on face-to-camera and said thank you again and talked about how much fun and how successful it was ANDDD I shared the screenshots of the feedback I got from the people who were in the workshop b/c it was so positive and helpful for them.

This sounds like A LOT of work, and even though, yes, I did do a lot. I could have honestly done more. 

My strategy wasn’t crystal clear, I actually did this more intuitively and almost every day I was sharing something to do with the topic of the workshop whether the CTA was to sign up or not. 

For example I shared my morning coffee ritual and the CTA was “what’s your morning beverage ritual?” and that opened up a conversation about rituals and the workshop was called “HEALTHY HABITS: RITUALS & TRANSITIONS”

I made two posts back to back. One explaining transitions, the other explaining rituals and the CTA was to get people to sign up for the workshop.

I did a throwback of a previous podcast episode about Mastering Transitions and this also was to open up a convo around transitions and then get into the DMs with people.

You get the point. Right?

[30:28] Okay QUESTION NUMBER EIGHT:

Which techniques did not work? 

Social media wasn’t the only thing I did to share my workshop, but it was definitely the most successful. I also put more energy into it. The other techniques were not as successful and that’s okay because now I know what to put more effort into. 

It is totally fine to test things in your business, I encourage it! However, don’t re-do things that didn’t work in the past. 

It’s also important to create boundaries to saying “no” to other people. I have a lot of entrepreneur friends in my network who were offering free 30 minute calls five days a week. It was a lot. Not all the calls converted and the time took them away from other parts of their business. So now they only offer the time slots on 1-2 days a week, and also only to certain people using a private link.

If it’s not working for you let it go, and lean into the things that did work!

That is a wrap on our eight questions you MUST ask before planning 2021! I hope you enjoyed it!! Let’s continue this conversation on instagram! Find me @vallavignelife

 
Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

Asset 171.png

Categories

Download the FREE Dream Lifestyle Roadmap

Follow on Instagram

Val LaVigne Life Instagram
 
EntrepreneurshipVal LaVigne
E107: The Holidays are the Boundaries Olympics
 
 

E107: The Holidays are the Boundaries Olympics with Bryn Bamber

Chatting with Bryn Bamber today, who is a mental health professional helping heart centred creative healers help more people and more make more money by healing childhood, shit…


Leave a review on Apple Podcasts

[00:25] Valerie LaVigne: You're listening to the women's empowerment podcast today. I'm very excited to welcome Bryn to the show. Bryn is a mental health professional helping heart centered creative healers help more people and more make more money by healing childhood, shit. I love that it is such a great elevator pitch. So join me in welcoming Bryn to the show. Welcome.

Bryn Bamber: Thank you so much for having me. I'm excited to chat. 

VL: Yeah, I'm excited to chat with you too. It's been a little while since we've since we've connected so can you tell us a little bit about how you got to be this mental health professional and how you like to be helping people like you do.

[1:16] BB: So I come to mental health, from my own mental health struggles. I'm one of those. Um, I suffered from pretty severe anxiety, and I wasn't even aware but when I was younger, I just thought I was stressed and everyone was stressed, and I had kind of normalized my reality which is a coping mechanism. And so I just didn't, I didn't realize how high my anxiety was at the time. But I started to get some clues when I was 21, years old, and I burnt out of my first job ever so I graduated from university, I got a job I got business cards. I bought a blazer. And in a lot of ways that job was my dream job and I was really excited about it. And what happened was, I made a couple of medium sized mistakes, which happen in any job, but I was really beating myself up about them and I wasn't able to recover. So I went kind of like, pretty deep into perfectionism. I would like editing one email for a whole week, like editing re editing, and eventually got to a point where, I couldn't really do the work, so I burnt out I quit.

And I knew I couldn't return to that like I couldn't just go to a job board and look for another job because I would just look for the exact same job but I really liked the work that I was doing. But I, um, yeah I knew I needed to kind of switch things up so I ended up moving to an ashram yoga retreat and study center. I initially went for a month I extended extended extended ended up living there for two years studying yoga and meditation for two years. Me yoga teacher and then was able to return to the workforce with new tools. The second kind of pivotal moment in my journey was when I was 29, I had started this Mental Health Training Program in core energetics. And as in a class on early childhood trauma.


And I, in that class realized I had all the symptoms. All the symptoms of someone who has suppressed childhood trauma and kind of started to realize that like this was me. So my anxiety started to make a little bit more sense of where it was coming from. And also that awareness allowed me to start to heal it, because before that I didn't really know that I had it. So, um, I finished that training program, and it was pretty life changing for me core energetics was pretty life changing for me at reducing my anxiety, so I'm super passionate about it. Super excited to talk to all your listeners and start to get them the support they need. If they struggle with anxiety.

[4:39] VL: Thank you so much for sharing that story, I didn't realize you're at the ashram for two years, you must have come away with lots of incredible tools. I know I've spent my fair share of time not that much time in yoga institutes and different health care facilities so that's really, really incredible. The, there's so many questions I have.


And I guess I want to tie it all back since we're heading into the holiday season to anxiety around the holidays if we could focus on that a little bit today. What are some of the surface signs, what are some of the signs of feeling anxious or maybe the signs, leading up to burn out during this time of year.


BB: Yeah so everyone's a little bit different and it's important to start to notice yourself and notice what's coming up for you. But anxiety is basically a vibration in the body. So for some people it's like their tasks, some people their neck and shoulders get really sore they're like TMJ flares up when they have anxiety, but basically you don't feel good and for me it's kind of like a high frequency. Um, jittery, kind of feeling in terms of burnout.


I think signs are, you know, not wanting to get out of bed in the morning feeling like a sense of dread about what you have planned for the day. Just feeling tired and sometimes it's.

You're tired and even though it's like things that you would like to do you feel kind of like tired. Another big example is the five of your emotional reactions. So one of the things to talk about in mental health is having a right sized reaction. So, I mean, you obviously see this when someone gets cut off in traffic and they like lose their shit.

When it's like, okay, someone cut you off in traffic. Yes, that's rude, but you don't need to like scream and holler at them. So, if, um, you know, you come home from work, and someone took your parking space, and you burst into tears, or, you know, you're just having a higher, like it's like, of course, if a member of your family passes away and you burst into tears, or you're devastated that's the right size but the big events, but when it's something smaller like, you know, you get into your car and the engine won't start, and you start to panic. It's like, that's a little bit of a too big of a reaction for what's happening so that's definitely a key sign in burnout.

[7:46] VL: I can definitely relate to both of those feelings that generate an anxious, kind of anxiety piece, but also the burnout piece and how they are closely related but they are very different.

I don't think that I'm trying to think about my own experiences right now and how that anxiety kind of shows up for me, and I would agree with the jitters on my side. So, let's, let's focus a little bit more on the anxiety piece. Tell us, when you start to feel this way when we started to notice the signs in our own body, we're not feeling great. Were getting the jitters or feeling that vibrational frequency in our bodies, what can we do?

BB: So, when you're feeling anxiety you're starting to go into fight or flight right your nervous system is kind of ramping up and either flight, it's great. If there is a bear. And that bears chasing you. It's great in these situations that are like high risk and you actually do need to run away, or you need to fight.

Because the blood all goes through your lens and your heartbeat goes faster. And you stop digesting and you stop. If you have any like wounds or illnesses that all you stop healing, because all the energy is going to fight. Tiger or run away.

If there's not a tiger in the room. It's really not helpful, because you get like you're very single pointed focus right you're just like, get away from the tiger. You aren't in your creative brain you are. Problem Solving blank brain. And again, you're not digesting so sometimes if you have digestive issues, it can be related to like being in the fight or flight mode too often. You're not healing if you have a cold your immune system is going to be at top performance which I mean, even more important than ever this year that you try to keep our immune systems, going. So, what you want to do is, the thing is your brain thinks there's a tiger. The reason that you're having this nervous system response is because, you know, for me, sometimes it's an email right like I get an email and it has a certain tone.

And I go into fight or flight, I'm like, Oh, did I do something wrong is this person mad at me, blah blah blah. Um, so what you want to do is you want to bring your nervous system, back to the present moment where there is no tiger.

So some of the things you can do, are just look around, look like, Listen, say, oh, there's a lamp. So there's a window, there's a guitar hanging on my wall in my room here. So you're looking around and what you're doing is you're bringing yourself back to the present moment and you're basically check if there's a tiger. 

Look around. And as you start to look around, you can start to listen what sounds Do you hear are they dangerous sounds you can touch different materials, you know like, I'm touching my sweater here.

You can touch your desk whatever is around you but you're, what you're doing is you're bringing your nervous system back into the present moment. Where, where there is no tiger, if there is a tiger, you want to invite. But that's kind of some of the first steps.

[11:47] VL: Yeah, it's important to have that fight or flight mode when something's life threatening. And we actually chatted about this in a previous episode about finding where you are and becoming more present. And right away realizing that hey there isn't a tiger in the room there isn't a bear in the room, and taking that breath and bringing yourself back to the moment. So, let's say that we catch ourselves in this fight or flight mode feeling with this anxious vibration. They say okay, there's no tiger. There's no Tiger I'm okay. But what if this keeps happening to us what if we keep experiencing this anxiety, how do we go from being that anxious person to being a little bit more calm, on a day to day basis.

BB: So I wouldn't say there's kind of two here. Sometimes, or I guess probably always. Um, if you're a nervous system is a type of nervous system that sends a lot of time in fight or flight there's probably a reason. There's probably some challenging experience that you went through that kind of had a big impact. And so sometimes what's happening when we're going to fight or flight is we're going back our nervous system is going back to that incident. It was challenging for us.

So, it's important to explore the kind of the root cause. Um, I know for me, one of the root causes of anxiety was actually suppressed anger. So, I grew up in a household where anger wasn't allowed passive aggressiveness was allowed like direct anger was not good, so I just put my anger away. And so, a lot of my anxiety, ended up being me being angry, but holding in it.

So, one of, honestly, I think. I don't know if I'm gonna say it's the biggest healing thing that happened to me around my anxiety, but it might be is getting back in touch with my anger and starting to express that starting to send set half healthy boundaries. And so, if you are someone who is a people pleaser and conflict avoidant. This might be you. And part of your healing might be starting to set healthier boundaries because sometimes that anxiety is because, you know, guess there is no Tiger but something is going wrong someone's taking advantage of you, or you're doing something that's training you and, as you start to set those healthy boundaries, it can really help. The other part of it is getting out of fight or flight is like building a muscle. It takes practice, it takes reps. It's like going to the gym. The gym of coming back into a grounded space. And, you know, I gave you some examples of things that can help. And as you practice, you might find other things that you can help that can help you. For me, one of my big triggers is being late.

And so I would often end up on the subway or on a bus, and I, I went to sleep, and my nervous system is at a 100, which is not the right size reaction.

Um, but one of the things that I found just through trying to figure it out, was, if I could find someone, and this is like, I'm slightly embarrassed to say this but it was helpful for me so I'm gonna be embarrassed.

If I could find someone on the bus or the subway, that I was attracted to it would help me come into the present moment, because I would be with that person I'd be like, wow, they're super good looking. and it would bring me out of wherever my brain was, and it would bring me back into them here and now. No one ever taught me that it was just literally, out of, you know, part desperation part, trying to heal that I started to, you know, I guess one thing I want to say is like, even if your listeners start to recognize when your anxiety is peaking like that's a win because awareness is huge. And then once you get aware, then you can start to try these different techniques of looking around that kind of thing. 

Another technique that I find super helpful is exercise, get, like, gets me back into my body back into the present moment. Do I want to exercise when I'm anxious, hell no. Like hard to convince my brain. When I'm in the anxiety, it's hard for me to do anything other than be worried about being late. In that example. But, if I can just like put on a song and dance, or to a wall, sit at the at the wall, like all of these things are going to help. So, it is a commitment, it is a practice. It's not like you do this once, and it's gone and I wish I had a magic pill for all your listeners, but the way that I got through it was like hot hard fought it was like blood sweat and tears to be more grounded. But it's so worth it. Like, I think my anxiety. I think I used to be anxious about 90% of the time and now I'm anxious about 30% of the time. So I have so much of my life back. I have so many hours, where I get to be relaxed or joyful or playful. And so, yes, it is hard work, but to me it's totally worth it.

[18:30] VL: Absolutely. I know exactly how that feels when you're just caught up in your anxiety and a lot of the examples you shared in a lot of the tools you just shared were life on the common the common similarity between them all was that they're all very physical. So whether you're looking for something or you're trying to touch something or you're going to do a physical activity and exercise. It's that earth energy that like grounding you down. 

Yeah, that heaviness of life again bringing myself back here where that jittery anxious feeling is very like whoa like way up, you feel like you're floating or running or doing you're running from the tiger, whereas everything else is a little bit more grounding. And I like when you use the word digest, so it's like you can't digest things we think this is a really interesting part about with, with my anxiety journey anyway that I've been really listening to how other people describe how they're feeling I listened to how people describe their anxiety. And so when they say things like, I feel frozen or, I'm having trouble, like, like because physically you can't look you can't heal you can't digest food but it's interesting to hear what people come up with, because those are huge signs, about what your body is actually going through. So when you're getting an overload of information you say like like oh my gosh this is too much, I can't adjust it also look at what your, your digestive system is going through. Are you backed up in your digestive system. Do you have too much on your plate. Are you, you know what I mean like those every, everyone thinks that they're just like, oh they're phrases, but they're more than that they're information from your body. So, it's, yeah, it's just those little things I've been kind of picking up as you as you were describing them. 

I do want to circle back to healthy boundaries, though, because this is so important, especially around this time of year, with getting more invitations to parties and, you know, thinking that we have to have a gift for every single person that we know. So let's talk a little bit more about healthy boundaries around the holidays, what are some of your, your key tips and and teachings.


[20:24] BB: Yeah, so I think the first step is, look at why don't you set, healthy boundaries. If you're a people pleaser. Are you worried about what your friends are gonna think some of my clients will say something like, oh, but I love everything I do, but I'm just like, totally dead at the end of the day, but everything I'm doing I love, and it's like too much of a good thing kind of like too much on your plate. Like you were just saying is, isn't healthy. And so, it's important to start to look at what stopped, what has historically stopped you from setting healthy boundaries because you can go in with like the rah rah I'm going to set healthy boundaries, but if you're still telling yourself these stories.

And since this is the women's empowerment podcast. I think it's important to say like women are conditioned, not to set healthy boundaries. For me, the word bitch is a woman who has boundaries. A woman who says no. It's like a good thing, but we're socialized to think that we shouldn't have boundaries we shouldn't take care of everyone we should be giving we should be compassionate, and all of these things and one of my favorite quotes ever is you can be a good person, with a kind heart, and still say no.

And the quote is unknown I've googled I've tried to find who who it's attributed to if anyone knows like seriously DM me on Instagram I want to know who wrote, who wrote that quote. But, um, yeah, it's, it's starting to realize like all of the unpaid labor that women often end up doing. So just thinking about the holidays like party planning, who's cooking. It was buying the gifts.

Um, if you're in a heterosexual relationship is it balanced, or are you doing more of the work. And so I think that's kind of the first part of almost the education piece around, like, why don't we, why don't women historically saying no as much why don't we have, as healthy boundaries. Typically, and starting to unpack that.

The next part, I would say, is to, again, like it's the same principle as the anxiety, in the sense that you're building a new muscle.

Or maybe you've been building it for a while. I'm sure some of your listeners have been working on their boundaries. But there's still room for improvement.

So again, taking baby steps taking a two pound weight, if that's where you're at just sending a mini like a mini boundary like. For me, I started setting healthy boundaries.

One of my healthy boundaries was like calling into work sick when I was actually sick. I would like feel guilty about calling in sick. When I was sick. And so, like that, maybe doesn't even seem like a boundary but for me at that stage it was so that's where I had to start. Um, you can do them orally, you can do them over text. I think sometimes people are like, I didn't do it in the moment. I didn't say it in the moment I lost my chance, and it's like, Yes, I think the goal for all of us is to like have perfectly beautiful boundaries in the moment we say exactly what we need and exactly what we're not okay with, but that doesn't.

You know, we make mistakes, we're not perfect. And so you can, you know, say yes to something, and then the next day. Text Your friend and say you know what I thought about it and I am not going to be able to make the pie, or I'm not going to be able to make it at all or, you know what, why don't we just schedule some one on one time with you guys and in January whatever kind of situation is going to be helpful for you. And the other thing like, I want to say is, you're going to make mistake. Sometimes you're going to set a boundary that's too big, it's gigantic. Sometimes you're going to set a boundary that's too small. And that's okay. That's part of building these healthy boundary muscles it's like the same with going to the gym if you have a workout that's not that great, it doesn't mean you just like give up working out completely. And you can actually learn from it, you're like, oh, that was too big of a boundary. And then you can start to find your boundary, sweet spot with different people in different situations. So those are some of the first steps might be like I could talk for hours about.

[25:41] VL: This is so helpful and when I was kind of learning about my own personal boundaries, and what made sense to me. I didn't even realize how much of a people pleaser I was how much of a yes person I was saying yes to everything. And then finding myself at this position where I had just way too much going on. And so, the first place that I started was, I do not work on Sundays. And that was my boundary I do not work on, on Sundays. And it shifted a little bit to. Okay now I don't do split shifts, so I'm either working all morning, or I'm working all night, but I'm not doing both. and it was a it was a really interesting kind of like, I guess evolution of how that the schedule boundary kind of worked for me. And then the other boundary that happened was I was working out in the mornings really early in huntable morning routine. I had just changed a lot recently. 

But my other boundary was okay and I don't start work until 8am I do not work any earlier than 8am. I teach bloodies and do code health coaching so the hours are a little bit funny sometimes. However, it was not going to be any time between before 8am, because my morning routine was solid and I needed that Meantime, and as long as I had that morning workout and I have like this coffee ritual and journaling ritual. I was able to show up as a better person, and when I realized that I'm saying no, because I'm being a better service, when I do these things for myself. 

And that was a really big shift that I had to make in my mind and in myself to say it's okay to say, No, I also read a book I can't remember which book this was, but it was one of a personal development book. And if I remember I'll put it in the show notes. But the book was saying, start by saying no to everything. Before you start saying yes to anything and I was like, are you kidding me What if I can do it. And so, I tried it because I was trying everything at the time I'm like, you know what, let's do an experiment, that's what I kept thinking. And I would say no to every single thing, or I would say, let me think about it as my cousin wanted to reply immediately but I said let me have a think about this, or let me check my schedule before I commit to this. And then I could go back and say, Thanks for your patience. I went on my schedule and you know what, this works great for I thank you for your patience, like to my schedule, and this has not worked for me. And I didn't feel that and most of the time, because not that we're not important human beings like humans are important and it's great but we all live in our own realities, and we think that the world revolves around us sometimes.

I'm just gonna say it. And I was so I was one of those people who believe that I was so nervous that people were not going to like me anymore that I was going to get fired that people weren't going to be my friend if I didn't go to all these parties or girly things.

And what ended up happening. The responses were. Thanks so much for your quick reply. Or, thank you so much for your honesty, or, thank you so much for recognizing and honoring your boundaries, you've just helped me give myself permission to do the same. How empowering, is it to say, I'm showing up for myself. This is my boundary, and I'm honoring it. That just gave someone else, the permission are the sign or the reminder that they can do that to you. Rather than saying yes to everything and then coming at it with a bad attitude right.

[29:15] BB: Yeah, no, I love that. I actually recently wrote on Instagram, about a dance event I went to so I started learning about shadow which is a partner dance kind of similar to salsa. And, um, so I would go to these socials, and whenever anyone asked me to dance, I would say yes because it was new, and I was like, I don't know what I'm doing, how do I, I can't say no I should just, I need to practice of that so I kind of socialized myself to say yes yes yeah. And I remember one night, where I was just like, not having a good time. I was dancing with people I didn't want to dance with, like I wasn't feeling a connection. And so I just flipped the script, and I did exactly what that book recommends, I was like, I'm just gonna say no, because I was like should I go home. 

I was like, I'm not having a good time. And so that, wanting to go home, gave myself permission to just say no and so I just, yeah, again, so I was like no or not right now or, I'm taking a break whatever when anyone asked me, and then I'm one of the Tata dance instructors asked me to dance. And they hold on he was like, Yes, I want to dance with an instructor who like totally can teach me all the things. And I ended up having a great dance. And I guess like the lesson for me from that was, if I had said no to the guy that had asked me like literally 30 seconds before the instructor asked me I wouldn't have had, like, I wouldn't that opportunity probably would have come and gone and I wouldn't have had this amazing experience that really helped me as a dancer and was just fun.

And so that's one of the kind of insights I had about how when you say no, even if there's nothing good at that moment. You never know what's coming.

VL: Yeah, it reminded me of a quote that something along the lines of, if it's not a hell yes, it's a hell no. Or, because these are like fun little reminders right like what feels good for you and if it doesn't feel good when you say no to something that doesn't really feel great, or you're not in alignment with you're making room for something that does. And I think it's important to have that permission, especially for women who feel the need to be perfectionist or to be people pleasers and obviously to get out of that mindset is powerful, but to have these reminders like it's okay if you say no to this it's okay if you don't want to do this today, but you wanted to do it yesterday or you want to do it tomorrow. Being able to stand in your truth and be empowered enough to say this is what I want.

That’s huge.

[32:12] BB:  Yeah. And the other thing that I think women really struggle with is like changing their mind. I can't tell you how many clients have said, but I already said yes. and it's like, and then you thought about it and you changed your mind.

We all have the right. And of course, like yeah you don't want to be flaky you don't want to be the person that's like canceling 20 minutes before it's possible I mean sometimes that does happen we get sick all of a sudden or something comes up and you do have to cancel at the last minute, but I know for me like my intention is to to honor my word. But that doesn't mean like, I'm married to my word, and I'm going to just do whatever the other person wants me to just because I said, So, last week which was not a busy week and then this week I'm feeling overwhelmed.

Like, you have the right to change your mind.

[32:32] VL: So it's interesting that you said that, because we had a. We had a meeting scheduled for Monday this week and now it's Thursday, and I got called into the studio on Monday, and through my head I was thinking, I have 1,000,010 things to do, and most of them were kind of like at home I could kind of do them wherever, whenever, but one of them. one of the things that was really important to me was this this conversation, and I was like I'm just feeling his guilt, but I was like oh my god I'm gonna have to cancel him out to cancel, and I looked at my schedule, I thought, you know what I have a break between my classes where I could fit in this conversation. But when I thought about it, I said to myself, I'm like, you know what, this is not how I want to go into this conversation. I don't want to go into it feeling like my whole schedule just got turned upside down. I'm feeling anxious I have to teach a lot of cold classes I have to be somewhere where I don't like recording the podcast because it's noisy. The space is too big and there's construction outside the studio so I could have technically kept our appointment.

However, I know that. It just wouldn't have been the same energetically and so, you know, I, at first I was like, Oh, I feel so bad about this but then when I reached out to you and you were so understanding thank you so much again for rescheduling with me. I felt so much better and there's just this relief because I knew that I wasn't in the place to be holding space for someone else. So, yeah, and I hate doing that so much, and mostly because, like I appreciate I would rather someone say no to me than say yes and then keep canceling or rescheduling or not showing up. I would just rather you say hey you know what, I can't do this anymore, then toss me around right. Um, but it happened it came up and it happened so I had to do. I had to make a change. 


BB: Yeah. And, you know, this is an example, this doesn't always work out this way. But this is an example where, you know, I have my whole week calendar and I just switch whatever is supposed to do then, with Thursday, I just switched my Monday for Thursday at this time. And to me it's like, no difference and sometimes it is an inconvenience for the other person. Other thing I want to say to all the women is, that's okay. They can have an inconvenient sometime world's not gonna fall apart.


VL:  Yes. That's a very good reminder I think it's hard to hear sometimes but we definitely need to hear it. Well, honestly, I think this was a very helpful conversation that we're having especially around this time of year. And like I said, whether we want to hear it or not, we need to we need to hear the truth. So, before we move into our last part of the show or our last segment, let us know where we can find you where we can follow you and how we can support your business.

[36:15] BB: Yeah, so, um, my name is Brynn Bamber I'm sure you'll spell this all out in the show notes, but I'm on Instagram I'm at Brynn underscore Bamber on LinkedIn I think I'm e Bryn Bamber, um, secret factors my first name is actually Erica but I go by brand. And I'm Facebook I'm brand member. So those are all the places. Um, I'd love to hear from your listeners so if something resonated, or if you have any questions about what we were talking about, feel free to DM me on Instagram or, like, send me a message on Facebook or LinkedIn wherever you are. I'd love to hear like what you loved about the show or what you were confused fine. I can hopefully help. Try to clarify. Um, and the other thing I wanted to offer to your listeners is my anxiety mini training so it's a 10 minute training. And it's a training for when you are anxious. This is something you do. in the moment, when you're feeling anxious.

Um, you'll get a video version and an audio version so you can even like save it to your phones and literally like run into the bathroom and put your earbuds in and listen to it if you're like, at a holiday party and you're losing your ship. Um, but it's basically breathing feeling your body, a whole exercise that my experience, it doesn't always make my anxiety disappear. And this is what my clients say too, but it usually will reduce your anxiety by 50%, or more. So, gives you a little bit of breathing room from that anxiety. If you have to make a decision because sometimes like when we're anxious just because something happened. The aunt showed up at the party that everyone said wasn't going to or. She had COVID four days ago and didn't get tested or whatever the scenario is and like you got to deal with it. This is something that can just reduce your anxiety enough that you can get out of that tunnel vision where it's very hard to make strategic decisions, good decisions, get into a little bit more relaxed place where you can like feel into yourself feel into your intuition and know what you need to do. So you can find it a tiny url.com slash anxiety training and I'm sure we'll put it in the notes as well. 

VL: Absolutely. So it's really easy to find you because it's your name. Okay, rapid fire round, are you ready.

BB: No… I'm ready 

VL: we'll take your breath Okay, inhale. So good. Don't worry, it's not that much pressure. It's just about your favorite things.

[39:42] Question number one. What are you currently reading or what is your favorite book.

BB: I am reading right now My Grandmother's Hands, which is a book about.

It's, it's about the US really but it's about anti black racism, but through the lens of a body psychotherapist. So I'm, I'm a somatic I'm not a psycho therapist, but I'm a mental health practitioner that uses Sati and the author of the book. Also, in that world and so it's a really interesting part of it is like history and statistics and stuff, but a lot of it is about how racism has impacted our nervous systems, how racism has impacted the book is kind of specific it's like talking about white people's nervous systems, black people's nervous systems and police officers nervous system. So it's really interesting i mean he does. There is some criticism of it that he leaves out certain groups, other people of color. But, um, as a starting point, it's really an interesting lens into the world we're living in right now. 

VL: It does sound very interesting. I'm gonna link to that book in the show notes as well. And, question number two is, what do you love most about being a woman?

BB: multiple orgasms.

VL: Okay, I have to be honest, every single I do this with every single guest, and every single answer is completely different and I'm surprised every time and I love it so good. 

BB: You're gonna say every woman says the same. 

VL: I'm sure that we'll start saying, Okay, question number three What does empowerment mean to you.

So I think empowerment is someone who's willing to keep looking at themselves and doing the work and listening to podcasts like this and working on themselves. And so they keep having breakthroughs and with these break through I think you get more power, more access to your, your power that was always yours but that we get confused about sometimes.

BB: For me, it has an association for having some sort of breakthrough. Like, I think the thing that I feel the most alive. All my jobs all the things I've done in my career is like when someone has a breakthrough. And just like, Ah, this is like what I live for.

VL: Question number three: what are you currently working toward?

BB: Man, I guess I'm super passionate about core energetics because it's been so life changing for me. So it really want more people to have access to it so I'm doing a lot of guest interviews on podcast and trying to spread the word writing a memoir about my personal story and struggle with it. And so, I feel like my mission right now is getting this powerful tool into the hands of more people looking at the Godfrey, 

VL: we're gonna have to have you on again for a core energetics demo for sure. However, before you go I do want to say thank you so much again for being part of the show, and for sharing all of this information I know that it's going to be very helpful it's been helpful for me and my attorney in my experience, I know that'll be helpful for the listeners who are tuning in today. And I also want you to know that you are very appreciated, your voice is appreciated, your journey is appreciated. You know a lot of us come, a lot of us healers come from that wounded healer background and it's hard to show up to the parents, and so for you to be doing that for you to be stepping into this, this space and this leadership role and this teacher role, I think is is so empowering to see you, to see you move through these spaces, and you're very much appreciated by, by the people who are watching and following so so keep doing what you're doing, keep shining.

BB: Thanks so much for having me.

LINKS:

Anxiety Mini-Training - tinyurl.com/anxietytraining

Email Bryn - bryn@brynbamber.com

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/bryn_bamber/

LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/bryn-bamber-she-her-902639b4/

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/bryn.bamber.5

The Burnout to Brilliance podcast with Bryn Bamber.

iTunes - https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/burnout-to-brilliance/id1440791565

Everywhere else - anchor.fm/burnout
Website: www.brynbamber.com

 
Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

Asset 171.png

Categories

Download the FREE Dream Lifestyle Roadmap

Follow on Instagram

Val LaVigne Life Instagram
 
E106: Sustainable & Ethical Gift Guide
 
 

E106: Sustainable & Ethical Gift Guide with Veronica & Alora May of SAM & LANCE

Sister duo Alora & Veronica May are the creators of SAM & LANCE, an online retailer that helps empower people to shop ethically and shop transparently, and also shop women owned…


Leave a review on Apple Podcasts

[0:31] Valerie LaVigne: Ladies, thank you so much for joining me on the women's empowerment Podcast. I am so excited that you're both here I know that one of you is in Canada, and the other is in Singapore so it's so great that we can be connected via zoom today. And, why don't you tell us a little bit about your brand and what you do.


Alora May: Thanks so much for having us. Um, so I'm Alora and I am the co founder and CEO of Sam and Lance. So we started this business in April of 2019 as a way to help empower people to shop ethically and shop transparent transparently, and also shop women owned.


VL: On the show, we talked about sustainability we talked about shopping, like we we talk about women's empowerment I feel like this is a great. This is a great episode in partnership so I'm so excited that were chatting today, and because we're coming into the holiday season, and we're getting ready to spend a little bit more and shop a little bit more. We're also going to be talking about some of your favorite products, or our audience. So, let's go through the kind of gift guide that we've prepared for today. What's our first item on the list.


Veronica May: So, hi I'm Veronica. Other co founder of Sam and Lance, and for gifting this year we really wanted people to really stop and think about the things you want to send to your relatives. You want to make sure you're supporting things that are local you want to make sure that you're supporting women so we put together gift boxes to kind of help you on this journey. So one that's really excited about is our Zero Waste starter kit. So we have a number of different items that are going to help your friends and family and maybe even up shop yourself, I can do that, terribly. And so in this kit, you're going to have like reusable cotton pads that people can take their makeup off, or you can actually even use them for like children's faces like throw them in your purse. They're a mom. We have produce bags. So you can bring your produce bags to the grocery store and you don't use the plastic. So the number of products in there to help people start their Zero Waste journey. And we also like to advocate like zero waste is happy perfect it's just baby steps. So, by giving this to family members and helping them, put them in the mindset of shopping ethically 


AM: and it was really cool about the zero waste kit on to that okay jump in is a few products in there that you might not think of, like for example we have a vegan and sustainable floss that's in a glass bottle so people don't really think about floss when they think of a scannability but there's a lot of plastic and things that go into floss that isn't great for our environment so you know we really like bringing these products to the forefront and having people have these conversations so then that way you know when you think about your next purchase or you're thinking about, oh my floss just ran out let me, let me get a new one and you just kind of start thinking about how my next purchase and my next thing can be sustainable. So that's why we really love the zero waste kit because it helps people just start that conversation in their own head about the products that they're using that they might not have thought of before.


VL: That's a really great point. And that's kind of where I've been on this zero waste journey, and the beginning of my Zero Waste journey I felt so guilty for like company I guess I was out oh my god this is single use plastic like oh my god I had to use a Glock bag and not beeswax, like, three years. But what I started to realize was it actually starts with just being more aware about the products that we're currently using like, where does this go when I get rid of it where does this flasco when I throw it out and so I actually switched my floss recently to in like q tips or bamboo q tips, which is again like something you don't think about they're not gonna reuse your kitchen. That's weird. Anyways, this sounds like an amazing kit and for people who are listening who maybe have heard the term Zero Waste but aren't exactly sure what it is, can you tell us a little bit about that.


[4:16] VM: Yeah, so the terms are especially a little misleading. A lot of people get nervous cuz you're like, oh I could be one of those people that puts trash in a mason jar and I'm literally create zero waste, but what it is is a journey, it's a momentum to reduce the amount of waste and to start consciously, like you said, thinking about where does this go at the end of its life, everything I'm using so start like everything that's been made of plastic is still on this earth today, every single toothbrush you have ever used is still somewhere on this planet and when you start taking this mindset be like okay, what can I use differently. And the other thing too is we actually named the company after our grandmother's, but thinking about your grandparents is a great way to get in the zero waste mindset, because what we're grandparents doing before all this plastic came into the world. So there's so many tips and tricks there's so many things you'll find online if you're lucky enough to still have your grandparents around you can actually ask them like, what did you guys used to do. And so it's about this journey to just reduce your waste to be really conscious of where it's going and where what you decide to do.


VL: And love that you guys named your company after your grandparents because I my grandma actually lived with us. my whole life ago. I only remember my grandparents living with us my grandma's still around. And I do notice little things that she does that I'm like oh that's over cork, but she's basically reusing jars or containers or whatever it is that she's doing and it's very different from what we're used to, or used to doing but I feel like we're kind of turning backwards a little bit with that so that's exciting. And I'm going to link to actually each of these products that we're talking about on the show notes page. So before I forget, that's going to be at Valerie Levine life.com, forward slash Sam, and Lance spelled out completely, so it's easy to find. Okay, what's our what's on our shopping list for number two, what's the next thing that we're going to get, for us, and then also for other people.


[6:09] AM: So we've curated different gift boxes and all of our different themes. So one of them we call be relaxed box. And this is just an awesome gift to give somebody, you know, to relax. So we have some bath salts in there, incense some body oil and some tea. So, it's also pretty gender neutral as well so you could gift it to anybody you know a friend, your mom, your brother, it doesn't really matter. It's a great gift for everybody. And then we'd like to also say that like our products tell us story so the T is tes t so it's a Toronto based brand, and it's an amazing ethical tea but a lot of the proceeds go to their charity program and give back and, you know, all of our products kind of have this lovely story behind it and story but the woman who made it so you know even with these gift boxes you're giving them this relaxing gift that also, you kind of get to learn these stories behind all these really awesome products, it's not just, you know, something off the shelf that doesn't give back.


VM: And the cool thing about the relaxed box to actually it just happened to be every box is different but this relaxed box is all Toronto based, which is kind of cool. So for any of you like Toronto listeners, you want to shop local. This box is all local Toronto women owned businesses which is extra. We think it's good for Toronto right


VL: We think it's good for Toronto right yeah I love, I love the idea of getting like all my gifts as local businesses or supporting local businesses, tell us a little bit more about the other businesses that you're supporting so you have women in Toronto. Do you have them all over the world or is it mostly Canada.


AM: Yeah, so we have suppliers and products from all over the world so we have Ghana's Cypress Madagascar, obviously Canada in the US but it's really really interesting to see, you know the the different charities and people and women around the world that they support. So, you know, we have these women in Palestine who embroider this beautiful designs onto bags and shoes so that's one of our favorite suppliers and we have karma who makes necklaces and jewelry and from Porsche the transitioning and homeless youth in Toronto, make these jewelry and that helps to give them an income so that's another one of our really awesome suppliers that we have here,


VL: I’m actually get like goosebumps when you talk about this because as you know my brand is all about empowering women. And it's so incredible that we live in such like a small world like that we can connect to people in Africa, and people in Europe and people through we can even Canada in the US like these are huge countries that were able to support all these women globally. So, this is really exciting I know I have listeners from all over the world so I'm sure that it's happening all over the world today.


AM: We only ship to the US but however we do ship globally if someone emails and gives us a certain request so we've had that before and we've made accommodations based on like individual requests, which is fine.


[9:10] VL: Yeah. Okay, that's really good to know. That's, I'm glad I asked that. So, we have the relax box, and let's say like, I love baths, so much. I love tea, but I don't drink a lot of tea. I don't drink as much tea as I'd like to drink. So let's say I want extra vassals, can I also order these products separately. When I'm shopping. 


VM: Yeah, absolutely.


VL: Okay. Perfect. Okay, so this is all exciting because already I'm just like yes I want that because I want that, maybe I'll just tell people this is the link that I want everyone to shop at and that will be for me. We have one more special box that we want to talk about.



[9:59] AM:  I also want to talk about the wearable aroma therapy gift boxes I just thought about one and I feel like you would love this and you should put this on your Christmas list because it also includes two products from brands that I just mentioned so there's a necklace from kind karma, which is the one that's made by transitioning and homeless youth and it has three different stones on it. And basically you can put essential oils on these stones and then you can, you know, relax and empower yourself throughout the day with whatever your scent is, but then also within the wearable aromatherapy bonds be included in essential oil that's made in Madagascar so it's a really cool bond that has these two items that's a really really fun gift to give somebody that we feel like we haven't seen anywhere else or done anywhere else.


VL: Oh my gosh, I love that I'm always looking for wearable aroma therapy because the special stones are typically they're lava rock or lava stones. And, yeah, they're like little diffusers basically and you just had a couple of drops in them, oh my god I love that actually, I couldn't find any necklaces and bracelets that I really liked so I started making just my own for, like, I wouldn't want to do retreats and things like, I make little extra ones but oh my god I'm so excited about that we're definitely going to add that into the list.


Okay everyone, we've done all my shopping today. Check. Okay, so now we have a fourth, we have a fourth kit that we want to talk about what which ones that one.


VM: Yep, so we want this year we launched our subscription service. So we think this week four times a year you would get a box full of ethical, sustainable items that are from companies made by women delivered to your doorstep. So we have two options we have the classic box, which is $66 and that's a collection of pieces that are already on our website you kind of get to try some kind of usable items like candle, with some nice bullet candle in there or like skincare. I think you'll actually use from our stuff and then we have the exclusive box where sometimes we can't. If we can't work with the supplier directly or you find some really special ones. He's good to go into our exclusive box and these aren't yet available on our site. So we do extra work to find new brands for you to love. And the thing about the box is to make sure that these items are usable. And we also try and make sure that the packaging is as eco friendly as possible. And we do everything in our power to make sure there's no plastic in there. And if there is we've actually worked with suppliers to have them change their packaging to be able to put them into the box which was a really big deal for us and it was wonderful that they're able to do that. So one thing that we think is great is that, to give this as a gift. It's like the gift that keeps on giving. So you know when you have like your sister or like your best friend for you spend a little more on her like giving her a couple months of the subscription boxes throughout the years to us will be about 16 per special, and we think would make an awesome gift and if Alora didn’t already have a subscription that's probably what she would be getting from me for Christmas.


VL: That's such a great gift because you're right it does get like the gift that keeps on giving. If I got a gift, every four months. Oh my god. 


AM: Because you it's seasonal right so it's each season you get a new box, all winter, spring, summer, fall, and then we try to keep it seasonal as well so on our summer box we had like all natural bug spray and some other summer items and fall we made sure to have a nice like cozy candle. And so I would have tote bags that would be like perfect for apple picking like we really like really thought about this. You told me I gravel thinking this is my number one thing we need to find this.


VL: Yes Oh my God, I went apple picking for the first time this year and they gave us like a reusable tote but there was there was like third plastic on it so I was like, oh, okay, I mean it's reusable but anyway. Wow, that's so exciting. Oh my god, and then is it a surprise every month or do you are each season I mean, or do you know what it is 

AM: surprise each season, and we do you know spoilers leading up to it, but it is pretty much a surprise and then we also do have an add on market so if you're a subscriber to the subscription box right before we ship it out we send you you know a few of our select products from our site and we offer a pretty great discount on those to add on to your subscription box that's something that we,


VM: we also do which is like another little perk that you get just if you're as a scription box subscriber, but also for guests we had a few people who bought subscription boxes for themselves and then we're like, you know what I'm going to get out I'm going to look at the products that I'm going to give out a few of them which were like yep that's an awesome idea. And then after they got to be like, I just want to keep everything myself having to purchase additional just for their friends because they just kept everything for themselves, 


VL: that's I'm so that person I'm like yeah just get this subscription box and then I'll share and I'm like, like, what, no I want this and I want this, so amazing. I love the idea of the add on market that is such a great idea for business but also for just getting more of these sustainable ethical products and supporting more women with these products bringing them into your home. That is amazing. So now that we kind of have this idea of all the products that we want for our holiday gift. And our holiday self giving. 


[15:10] Let us know about I want to know about like the top three products and each and each home that you use every single day or like the most often that you use. I'm very curious.


VM: But so tough because yeah we everything on our site, we, it's very curated, we wouldn't put on our site if we won't use it, which makes it dangerous for us in our personal wallets as well. But in the best way. Um, so, I think my top of view we have a, it's a plain white tea, and it sounds super silly that I'm saying this but it's my favorite item I literally wear it like three times a week and have to wash it, so often. It's plain white tea it's a zero waste tea so it's made with all organic cotton fibers, and it comes with a barcode. So at the end of the natural life cycle when you are done with the shirt, you get to send it back to the woman on manufacturer of their twat, and they properly recycle it into a new t shirt, and then resell it. So it's really really cool it's a great woman owned company and this T shirt is just perfect. It's so soft, it's just the perfect cut and I yeah I say daily and I wear that shirt.


I think the other one would be province apothecary has a beautiful oil based cleanser I'm really big on skincare and oil based cleansers it just works so well for my skin and it just smells like a spa I end up just like sniffing my face one washing it and it's such a beautiful relaxing experience. The other problems apothecary moisturizing oil based cleanser. 


I'm so big on the loofa. Okay, first of all, I learned this recently a loofa is actually a vegetable vegetable when it grows on land, I always thought it was like a sea sponge or something, but it's not like a bikini looking gourd thing. And, and you can actually eat them. But if they leave them on the vine longer they dry out and scrub your body. So we had this wonderful vendor from Nova Scotia, and she was looking to retire but wanted to have a farm and she just wanted a crop that would make some money and give her something to do so she created this loofa farm and so she's like the loofa Lee. And so it's just so wonderful like to support this woman's second career and these are just adorable vegetable based on the scrubbers and I just, I love that really gentle exfoliating. The don't get like the musty smell like you would on fire or something. So it has like certainly at microbial properties are really cool and then when you're kind of done with it for your body you can use it on the dishes or disrupt your floor and stuff. It's really cool. So yeah, good point or I do love the little lady.


AM: I'm probably like wearing my top three, which I know it's a podcast and bespoke can't see but I'll show you. So this is one of my favorite bracelets is again by kind karma, and it's a Morse code bracelet. So, it's a bunch of different things.


You can pick so this one actually says string in Morse code. And so there's like love and there's hope so you can kind of pick what message you want to wear just kind of like as a nice reminder to yourself, and that you got it and there this year. Um, so I ran this daily in the shower and it's like my favorite one.


Another one would be, we have what's called like a Yukon soap, so it's actually made up north in the Yukon and it's an indigenous made soap and has like three ingredients, and it's just like so good It's so nice. I usually like every day in the shower, and it's really nice to support I get paid in companies on indigenous made products and women who are doing great things in Canada. So those are two, um, what's my third favorite, there's so many.


Um, I just started using it and like I just ran out of my other shampoos or I just got, we have like a color hair and everywhere on shampoo bar. And so, for people who don't know shampoo bars are just like kind of a bar soap but you just use them like shampoo. So that way you're eliminating waste because it's just the bar you're not having a plastic bottle or even a glass bottle. And so it's really really great to just kind of get more into that less is more lifestyle. And then it's made from all like Zambian ingredients and hundred percent of the profits go to clean water in Zambia, so you just like washing your hair with purpose.



[19:47] VL: I think that's so amazing and I feel like people should really be aware of not only Where is my product going. But where did my product come from. So this is a really cool part of, of what you offer and how you support, support other businesses to with your business. When we are shopping on your site. Do we see the stories do we see the people do we see where it's coming from, or is that like something that you get when you open up your product, you open up your package


VM: on the site so when you click on every product you can scroll down to the bottom, and we have a section that describes like the product itself the ingredients if it's skincare anything and then we have a story about the woman and a story about the brand. So, it's really interesting to see how different the braid of the women are but but usually the woman has her own beautiful story behind why she started it or what her story is and then again then the story behind, who the brain supports. And then we also if they do support an external charity or cause we do have that description in there as well. So you actually get to learn everything about it. And we do a whole bunch of research and verifications and checks before we put anybody on the site so if there's information that you're not sure of about a product but you want to know more about the raw materials you can actually just reach out to us, and we have the verification there if it's what you're looking for.


So, which is pretty cool but we can only conclude so much information because we just think people get bored.


AM: Yeah, and also have everything categorized by six values. So within that woman brand, and all that information we have another tab that's our values so we have six different values, which is certified so if they have certification like GTS or Fairtrade we have cruelty free, which of course all our products are but we have thought of ethically manufactured purpose driven sustainably sourced and waste reducing so you can see that that's what we're talking about. We're really really transparent and we have these like special categories that we created you can shop by your values and filter out all the products that are purpose driven they give back or that are sustainably sourced so we really really go deep into all of that to try to make it easy for people when they're shopping, so amazing.


VL: It's like a whole experience around these six values and the and supporting supporting female businesses. So, you are both females, and you are both running this business, tell us a little bit about your story I know you mentioned your grandmother's before and how you created SAM & LANCE


AM: It's like a whole experience around these six values and the and supporting supporting female businesses. So, you are both females, and you are both running this business, tell us a little bit about your story I know you mentioned your grandmother's before and how you cope with it but how you played it safe.



VL: That's so cool. I love that I find that probably is one of those like eye opening things that you are getting this experience you're gaining all of these amazing memories but you're also learning so much about different people and different cultures and it's really cool because I think a lot of people go on trips and they think like, Oh, I want to change this, I want to bring this back and, but you're actually doing it, and I can't believe your business is so young, you guys are doing amazing I'm so proud of you both one oh my god I had no idea that you were only like a year and a half. That's like a little baby this is so exciting. Oh my goodness. Okay, we have one more. It's like part of the segment or one more segment in the show and it's the rapid fire round. So I'm going to ask you both for questions, and you can choose whoever wants to go first. And it's really fun and exciting and easy. Are you ready. I think so, yeah, I feel like, so usually like, are


[24:39] RAPID FIRE ROUND!


Question One: What are you currently reading or what is your favourite book?


VM: I have so many favorite books, I'm, I'm super into merch Haruki Murakami right now because I've read one to 84 and it is one of my top three favorite books of all time. And I'll say that I am reading.

AM: By, again, going on to like travel train but like my favorite book is a book, a little book called The desire for elsewhere and Veronica actually found this book for me i think you know like in a Singapore museum gift shop or something like that. And it's just like this little beautiful novel. It's just like a narrative about this woman's desire for elsewhere and travel and just talks about like little stories and you can probably read in an afternoon but it's just like this, like, like my favorite book.


Question Two: What do you love most about being a woman?


VM: I love feeling empowered about the little thing. I just, I love like. I love like putting on cozy sweatpants and like a little t shirt and feeling sexy I love like being able to have this opportunity to do whatever I want. Without these inhibitions where I feel like so many men have this inhibition to get to be masculine you have to be this you have to be that you can't have feelings but we're allowed to we get to have these feelings we have so much more. I just feel like we have a little bit more richness to our lives and sorry to the men who have their richness I don't know do you but I just feel like we have so much more of a chain to express ourselves and to be ourselves and there's more room for us and I also love this supportive sisterhood, especially lately like women are supporting each other so much more. And, and there's always been these tight knit communities of women all over the world throughout history and I just love that about women.


AM: Yeah, I was gonna say like the sisterhood like I just love like women coming together and like we've seen that obviously in the last you know two years that the community that we've built the same Atlanta, but then also you know like we met through make lemonade and I just love seeing these like groups of women come together and like kind of maybe an off side but you like stories about like in World War Two and like how the women like what all band together and they were like actually having better survival rates because they would take care of each other, whereas like the men wouldn't have that type of like camaraderie and help that they didn't have as high of survival rate so I just think it's like throughout history like just seeing women come together and support each other and care for each other and with each other off I think that's so awesome.


Question Three: What does empowerment mean to you?


VM: I thought about this whole blog, especially because of the Stacy working and I still have such a hard time coming up with an answer. But I think kind of what I touched on before it's like empowerment to me means being brave and being able to be every part of you, and feeling strong enough to be able to do that. So I think that's why things like your podcasts are so important to is to help people find that part of them and to empower themselves to find that bravery and to find that strength.


AM: Oh yeah, I know I did something similar to like, I, I agree. And I think for me empowerment is, you know, being brave enough to do things, be brave enough to talk about it and be brave enough to fail. And, you know, I think that especially at the beginning of starting this company, you know, we had a lot or at least I know I had a lot of imposter syndrome and like, barely would talk about what we were doing was almost not good enough for you know maybe when we have more products on holiday, you know tell more people and they just felt like it was never good enough and now that we're doing this. Well, we'll see. And we just did subscription boxes and you know, we're just like talking so much because if it you know something works or something people like it that's great but you know if they don't, if that part doesn't catch on that's okay it's, we'll chalk it up as a learning and we'll just keep moving on to me that is one part of it.


Question Four: What are you currently working toward?


VM: Oh yeah, I know I did something similar to like, I, I agree. And I think for me empowerment is, you know, being brave enough to do things, be brave enough to talk about it and be brave enough to fail. And, you know, I think that especially at the beginning of starting this company, you know, we had a lot or at least I know I had a lot of imposter syndrome and like, barely would talk about what we were doing was almost not good enough for you know maybe when we have more products on holiday, you know tell more people and they just felt like it was never good enough and now that we're doing this. Well, we'll see. And we just did subscription boxes and you know, we're just like talking so much because if it you know something works or something people like it that's great but you know if they don't, if that part doesn't catch on that's okay it's, we'll chalk it up as a learning and we'll just keep moving on to me that is one part of it.


AM: I'm working towards taking my time, I am such a rush through things do things quickly do 10 things at a time that I know that sometimes it ends up being a hindrance and not a help. So that's something that like I've done all my life and it's. I'm really really working towards just like slowing down, and it's, it's so hard for me to slow down but just like taking things, you know, one day at a time and really focusing on what I'm what I'm doing


VM: Fun Fact at Alora’s old job they used to call her a laser because she did things like *fast lazer sound effect*


VL: Slowing down, it's going to be a good theme for me do all, ladies, thank you so much again for being on the show before I let you go, let us know where we can find you, where we can follow you. We feel like this question is a little bit obvious but how we can support your business. 


AM: We feel like this question is a little bit obvious but how we can support your business. Yeah, so our website is WWW.SAMANDLANCE.COM,  and then on all socials it's Sam and Lance, so you can find us on Instagram, Facebook, and yeah just follow us and sit down. We love just chatting with people we answer all our DMS because running in Singapore I'm in Toronto, we say that we're available 24 hours a day, because we are. 


VM: So, another thing too, one thing we like to talk about is supporting small businesses doesn't have to cost anything so making sure you're following people on social media sharing stuff commenting. It's all all greatly appreciated like even if you love something we're doing like send us a message makes you feel good. And, yeah, you can you don't always have to spend money to support women to which is something that we like to remind everyone.


VL: I think that's a really good point but not everyone kind of remembers because a lot of times you will get zero waste products and you will get will be sustainable and ethical these ethical products as well and then you think like, oh my god like that. That's so expensive for floss or but so expensive for shampoo. I'm not used to paying that but you also understand that like you're making it an investment for your health, because the products are better quality but also for the world as a whole, like, the URL. Right. And then it's a great point to say that even just sharing and liking and commenting and yeah just being engaged and involved, mother. Gonna were so good. So amazing so we're getting our relaxed box we're getting our Zero Waste starter kit. We are shopping for wearable aroma therapy, love it, and are also getting and getting subscription boxes. This is just gonna, like, quietly send this episode to everyone and be like that. This is a great episode you should check it out and also has a really great gift ideas for the people in your life, pointing at myself.


VM: And we'll send it direct to your friends and family as they live far away and we'll write a little note for you so there's extra love and alaura learned like we don't pack them with love if we don't pack them with love, they're worried that it won't get ready to go so there's that there's always love in the book, there's good intentions whenever we pack it, it's important.


VL: Yes, it is. And I feel like those little things make such a big difference overall and I know when I open a package. If I'm opening. One of my friends from the States she sent me a little care package and it was like such a beautiful surprise to get you just feel. You just feel more whole and more happy when you get these boxes of love, so I'm really excited to be able to share this gift giving guide with everyone today. Ladies again thank you so much for being part of the show this has been an absolute blast I can't wait I'm going to go shopping right now.



 
Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

Asset 171.png

Categories

Download the FREE Dream Lifestyle Roadmap

Follow on Instagram

Val LaVigne Life Instagram
 
E105: Divine Connection with the Crown Chakra
 
 

E105: Divine Connection with the Crown Chakra

Today’s episode is about Chakra Seven: the crown chakra, located at the top of the head. This final crown area is different from the other areas in the body because it is actually above our physical body, just like a crown that sits on top of our heads…


Leave a review on Apple Podcasts

[00:27] Hi there welcome back to our final episode of the chakra series. Over the past year I have been sprinkling in chakra episodes into the show - in no particular order. However today is the last of the series, and it also happens to be the seventh, out of seven chakras, or main energy centres in the body. 


Today is all about our seventh chakra: The Crown. Before we go into more detail, let’s review the seven main energy centres in the body:


Chakra One: Is the root chakra located at the base of the spine/tailbone

Episode 64: Reclaim Your Roots with the First Chakra


Chakra Two: Is the sacral chakra, located at the reproductive organs, below the belly button

Episode 89: Sexuality & The Sacral Chakra


Chakra Three: Is the core or solar plexus chakra, located in the abdomen above the belly button 

Episode 79: Confidence & The Core Chakra


Chakra Four: is the heart chakra, at the centre of the chest


Chakra Five: is the throat chakra, located at the throat

Episode 58: Speak Your Truth with the Fifth Chakra


Chakra Six: Is called the third eye chakra located at the forehead, between the eyebrows

Episode 71: Intuition & The Third Eye Chakra


And lastly, Chakra Seven: the crown chakra, located at the top of the head. This final crown area is different from the other areas in the body because it is actually above our physical body, just like a crown that sits on top of our heads.


[2:24] Along with specific locations in our physical body, the chakras also coincide with emotional, mental, and spiritual themes. The seventh chakra is all about knowing and learning. The meaning or purpose of this chakra is understanding. In Sanskrit the name for the seventh chakra is Sahasrara [SAH-HA-SRA-AH] ]which translates to ”thousandfold”. This is because the symbol of this chakra is a lotus with 1000 petals. I told you this chakra was different from the others!


The chakras also have colours, issues, identity, demons, characteristics, and much more.


Themes around the seventh chakra have to do with consciousness, awareness, the witness, belief systems, universal identity, higher power, transcendence, divinity, information, meaning, and unity. This chakra is represented by the element Thought, and the colour violet, or sometimes white.


To be honest, I was really delaying the production and launch of this episode. I’ve always been very intimidated by the crown chakra. It’s so much less tangible than the other chakras and for me, I find it complicated to explain. 


[3:51] There is a chakra book that I always mention and refer to, it’s called Eastern Body, Western Mind by Anodea Judith. It’s an incredible resource for the Chakras and I refer to it each time I create these episodes. It’s like a textbook of sorts!

As I was rereading the chapter on the crown chakra I was reminded of something very important. The crown is not intangible, but rather it IS VERY tangible and connected to the physical world just like the other energy centres.


I sometimes get caught up in the limiting belief that to be spiritual you must give up all your physical possessions and devote your life to spirit. However this is a common misinterpretation entirely! 


Spiritually and the material world go hand in hand. Spirituality is not about connecting to something so beyond us; it’s about connecting to a divine part of us. A part of us that already exists. A part of us we’ve always been able to access, but choose not to, or are taught not to bother with. 


There is a really beautiful description of this chakra in the book I want to share with you:

“The crown chakra is the thousand-petaled lotus. Most people think of the petals as reaching up into the heavens; actually, the lotus petals turn downward like a sunflower, dripping nectar into the crown and down through the chakras. In this way, the two ends of the spectrum are profoundly connected. How can a lotus bloom without roots in the earth? How can it reach heaven if its roots are not deep and wide?”


Meaning this chakra, like the whole rainbow bridge of chakras, is about CONNECTION. And the purpose of this energy centre is to connect to the divine. To do this we must be able to ground, so the key to creating consciousness, and divine connection is BALANCE.


[6:05] Think of any time you’ve sat down to meditate. We meditate for a number of reasons. Sometimes it’s for relaxation, many times it’s for clarity, other times we wish to tap into creativity. Whatever our reason for meditation, we know that it is a spiritual practice. To start this practice we are typically seated. Rooted. Grounded down. We take stabilizing breaths. We become more present and balanced.


Are you picking up on all of this ROOT CHAKRA LANGUAGE? Once we are more grounded and relaxed, we are then able to TURN INWARD. INSIDE! Not outside, not up to heaven, not into a crystal ball. We are looking INSIDE OURSELVES; into a place we know, we just have to bring our awareness to this place.


As I’m preparing this episode it’s becoming more clear as to why I was avoiding it. I am someone, who from a very young age, has always been “different” from my family and friends. I used to see, hear, dream, know, and feel things that most people couldn’t explain. As a young girl this was quite troubling and I slowly quieted my voice to sharing what I was seeing, hearing, and feeling, because I was TOLD that these things weren’t real. 


The senses never really went away though. Instead they manifested into dreams. Very vivid, very real dreams. I still have wild dreams every-single-night. I’m not even exaggerating when I say I have the craziest dreams. Almost every day I wake up and say, “I had the craziest dream” and each night they seem to get more wild. I don’t even know if I have the time to talk about last night’s dream.


For a while I started to keep a dream journal and try to interpret my dreams. Then I started asking the Archangels to leave me alone because I would wake up feeling tired. I asked them to let me sleep and stop sending me messages in my dreams. It worked sometimes, but I usually forgot to do it before bed.


The point is, during these times I didn’t have the tools or the teachers to help me navigate things that were unfamiliar to my own community. Most people I told dismissed, disregarded, or thought I was weird for what I was telling them.


It made me feel very DISCONNECTED from others and it is the reason why I decided to DISCONNECT from those parts of myself; so that I could feel connected to the people around me. Over time I found my people. The ones I could share my crazy dreams with and they wouldn’t judge me for it.


I found them through my own personal and spiritual practice. The more I learned about myself, the more I realized yoga and mediation were very important parts of my journey. The more I meditated and practiced yoga, and the deeper my spiritual practice became, the clearer everything became for me. From relationships, to my life path, to what my gifts were, to what was holding me back.


Now I feel like I need to interrupt this for a moment and say: just because I became more clear, did not mean that things got easier… hell to the no! They almost get a little harder haha because you’re stepping into this consciousness that not everyone can relate to or understand. Not everyone is on the same journey as you and this is an important piece to remember.


Since we are all on our own journeys, we must be patient and loving with others who do not have the same awareness as we do. This can be a challenging part of the spiritual journey.


[10:52] Just like all the other energy centres in the body, there are signs of deficiency, and excess of this seventh chakra.


Signs of a deficient Crown Chakra include:

  • Spiritual cynicism

  • Learning difficulties

  • Rigid belief systems

  • Apathy

  • Excess in lower chakras: materialism, greed, domination of others


Sins of excess in the Crown Chakra include:

  • Over intellectual-ization

  • Spiritual addiction

  • Confusion

  • Dissociation from the body


The goal is to create balance in our chakras. A balanced Crown Chakra means:

  • Ability to perceive, analyze and assimilate information

  • Intelligent, thoughtful, aware

  • Open-minded, able to question 

  • Spiritually connected

  • Wisdom and mystery, broad understanding


When you’re considering your own journey and experience, think about how you can best support your crown chakra. At this point in the episode, if you’re still listening, the chances are you’re not entirely cynical about the chakras, however you might feel excess in your lower chakras in the sense that you feel heavy, and maybe tired. 


Perhaps you relate more to the excess of the crown. Maybe you obsess over your spiritual practice, and you’re always trying to find a deeper meaning, or you’re always looking beyond; so much so you’ve lost the connection with your own body. Feeling less grounded.


What is so wonderful about our spiritual and life journeys is that we all learn and grow and understand in different ways. The key is to stay open to possibilities and opportunities. 


[15:29] It is not only the crown chakra that helps us understand ourselves, it is all the chakras that are our teachers. The learning, growth, and transformation happens when we heal each of the lotus flowers, when we create balance.


Here’s what I recommend. Start with taking a moment to disconnect from the outside world. Get off your technology and find a comfortable spot to close your eyes and breathe. Start with your breath. Even our breath will teach us what is happening in our body. 


Notice the tightness, pain, pressure, space, lightness, in the body. Which body part is asking for more attention, more love? Now which of the chakras does that body part connect with? Start there.


If you’re experiencing head tension, maybe it’s the crown chakra. All of the previous chakra episodes are there, as well as a Crown Chakra Meditation you can download for free HERE!


I can’t even believe I’m saying this but next week is DECEMBER 2020! The year of all years is coming to an end, I have some great podcast episodes coming up, I know you’ll love them!


ALSO my new Healthy Habits Workshops start next week! You can sign up for the upcoming healthy habit workshop at www.valerielavignelife.com/workshop


See you there!



 

Download the FREE Crown Chakra Meditation

Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

Asset 171.png

Categories

Follow on Instagram

Val LaVigne Life Instagram
 
Health & WellnessVal LaVigne