Posts in Entrepreneurship
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E112: Style as Self Care: The Comfy-Chic Formula with Sarah Peel

Meet Sarah Peel of Citizenne Style & Home, as she teaches us how to shop our closets, take better care of our clothes, and create self care practices through style in her holistic lifestyle guide: Citizenne At Home…


E131: How to Incorporate Mindfulness Daily with Sarah Sturino

Learn about the nine pillars of mindfulness and how to start incorporating them into your daily practice to live a more mindful and heart-centred life, featuring special guest, Sarah Sturino…

 
Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

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Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E124: Shattering Social Media Ad Myths & Societal Norms with Hattie Dunstan
 
 

E124: Shattering Social Media Ad Myths & Societal Norms with Hattie Dunstan

Introducing Facebook and Instagram Ad Strategist, Hattie Dunstan. Join us in our conversation as Hattie shatters social media ad myths and shares secrets to her strategies, as well as her life as a working mama.


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[1:54] Valerie LaVigne: Welcome back to The Women's Empowerment Podcast. Today I get to introduce you to our new guest Hattie Dunstan, the owner media buyer and paid ads strategist for fun since marketing, she helps businesses get new customers through the power of small funnels and targeted Facebook/Instagram ad campaigns, Hattie has a run three of her own businesses, from the wedding industry, a sports league app, even being the director of a charity fashion show fundraiser that raised over $120,000 for cystic fibrosis Canada. She went to university for marketing management in 2005 entrepreneurship runs in Hattie's blood from her great grandfather who was a watchmaker to her grandfather, and both of her parents now have he wants to help other entrepreneurs, scale and grow their businesses so they can stay in their zone of genius. Welcome to the show. I am so excited to be speaking with you today.



[2:55] Hattie Dunstan: Oh, thanks for having me. I'm so excited I love hearing my bio read out like that. So fun!



VL: When it comes to Facebook and marketing, Instagram, and all of those ads like I get so intimidated and overwhelmed and I think the main reason for it is because I just really don't know anything about them, and when I'm asked about them. I know that you're, you're the person that comes to mind when I think of as the Facebook and Instagram ad expert, so can you tell us what these are, why we need them in our business?



[3:42] HD: Yeah, so I always think Facebook and Instagram ads are an integral part of your overall marketing ecosystem. Of course you need your organic Instagram posting your SEO for your website your emails, your email campaigns, but it takes so many touchpoints to get someone to actually purchase something. It takes like 13 times it's telling someone repeatedly hey this is what I sell before they purchase that running an ad just even a reminder ad takes some of the pressure off of entrepreneur like we wear so many hats. And just to have a constant, another little touch point for our customers that we don't have to constantly be posting about is just, I don't know as soon as I started running ads for my businesses like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulder. I didn't have to be in that hustle, that draining hustle and only 10% of our followers see our beautiful organic posts. So, pay a little money to go find it and show it to more people. That's what I think.



[4:45] VL: Yeah, that's a really interesting. I'm really glad you said that because it feels like we put so much effort into creating this amazing content. And then I also feel like a broken record when I, I don't, I don't know if I'm like, am I being too pushy when I talk about this, I'm like, do people even hear me when I talked about this, I tried something once where I posted kind of the same type of message every day for a week I just changed up the stories a little bit, and I noticed that there were some people who are watching my stories on Friday who didn't see my story on Monday, even though I said the exact same thing and I was like, Oh my god. Do I really have to say this 10 times.



You do like you actually do because not everyone is seeing your stuff there's like five people who watch every story that I've ever posted, and then everyone else just like wait, I don't even know how this works.



Okay, This feels important for my business to, to have an ad, it feels like when you were talking about it for like a weight lifted off my shoulders a little bit.



Now, my following I have like, just over 2000 followers, like tell me about this. Do I need to have a certain amount of followers to run ads?



[6:00] HD: Let's bust the myths! When people are like, oh I don't have 10k Like I don't have the swipe up feature. You can run ads if you have 100 followers, I just bought a $27 offer from an ad for ad was fantastic. I clicked on her incidences she had 200 followers, you can run ads for anything, and I love that you said, I sound like a broken record, and I'm always say to my clients. If you sound like a broken record when you're promoting your sales pitches, you're doing it right, because you sound like a broken record but to everyone else, Maybe they'll finally get what you're selling. So you definitely do not have to have a big following to send those reminder ads. In fact, it's kind of nice like for 200 people on your Instagram, you only need, you know, five bucks a day, you know for 2000 Maybe you only need 10,000 for 10 bucks.

You need a smaller budget, smaller audience smaller budgets so it's, you can run it with whatever but with whatever followers 



[7:03] VL: Yeah, amazing so you did talk about budgets and I feel like you kind of busted this myth a little bit so we only really need $5 A day to run an ad? Let’s talk about that.



HD: So, okay, you need $5 A day to run a retargeting ad, which is showing, anyone that's landed on your website, anyone that's landed on your Instagram page, I always suggest you know the minimum that you can spend is five bucks a day just a gentle reminder. Here I am, this is what I sell this is what I do, here's how I'm gonna transform your life.



That can be $5 a day. But if you're trying to reach new audiences, new eyeballs and grow your email list, scale, outside of your website visitors, or your Instagram follower, that we probably would push up to like $20 A day like, let's invest some, some, some point behind that.



[8:15] VL: Okay, so we don't have to have a huge following, and even $20 A day like I can just get here, if you've ever been in advertising and marketing. $20 a day for an ad is like wait what?



HD: this is my proposal package it literally says this will be 10 times cheaper than a newsprint magazine. I'll see you can track everything like you know exactly where that leads came from where the form got filled out. Did it come from the ad, like it's, like, I love ads. You can see everything can track everything, and such as data geeks



VL: this is what's important, because like I always tell people, especially in my habit workshops like what gets measured is what gets moved, if you're not tracking it, then you don't know where you need to, to improve I was telling actually at a workshop today, and I was telling everyone that I have this new water bottle that lights up when I'm behind on my drinking right now. And we got like super nerdy about it.


VAL’S “HIDRATE SPARK” WATER BOTTLE


it has this app that you can download and every time you drink it records it on your phone via Bluetooth, and I was noticing that every Sunday, I wasn't, I wasn't reaching my goal, just on Sundays, it was like totally break my streak away. Why can I drink water on Sundays, and when I really, when I really thought about it I'm like well, on Sundays, I spend like I really have a slow morning or I drink my coffee forever like I drink it until it's cold, basically. And because of that, I'm not drinking water and then I'm like, oh my goodness, this is why but I would have never really noticed that unless I was tracking it and then like reviewing the data and the insights of my, my water.



And this is what's so valuable. I think about what you do is that there's this tangible piece of its data to show people like this is what, like this is the transformation that we made together.



[10:05] HD: Yeah, I love showing concrete numbers I love showing Hey, this customer dollar per email subscriber and then we'll go into your email campaigns and be like hey look this actually converted to a $350 sale, so that $2 You spent converted into a 350 sale. It's I my monthly like reporting days I'm like, nobody interrupts me, I'm doing my data deep dive here.



Yeah, it's just like it's so good to track and a lot of people, they they don't know what to track, or be they don't know that like, they look at Google Analytics or they look at the ads manager and they're just like, oh my gosh what are all these four numbers are.



VL: Yeah well, and I was saying before, like I'm really overwhelmed by all of the information like how, how do you set these up and then how do you read this is a different language so to have someone like you to really help you like translate all of it, and then help you kind of look through the data and say that these are the insights that's important and these are the insights that are not so important, or this is where we can improve and all of that data is so important for the client so okay we went through a couple of minutes. You don't have to have a huge following, you don't have to have a huge budget. You don't have to know what you're doing if you hire someone to help you.

Are there any other common myths about Facebook and Instagram ads that you like to bust?



HD: I think the biggest one is also people think, if they're not a huge brand like they see constantly like Hudson Bay's in their feet with ads apples in their feed with ads, they see all these huge brands and I think I'm really trying to reach the small businesses, the makers the creative, because we don't see their ads as much so other small businesses don't realize that potential for them you can run ads.



I think a lot of the time they really think, oh it's just for big brands, I don't have that kind of budget, or I don't have that.



Whatever the reason is, so I really am trying to reach small businesses and everyone can run ads on Facebook and Instagram.



[12:17] VL: Okay, so question though, do you have to have a business page on Instagram to run ads?



HD: Yes, if you want to run Instagram ads you would have to switch it to a business page. Okay. But, Instagram and Facebook love, I know some people are nervous about switching the business in case their reach falls are there, their organic reach falls, but Instagram and Facebook love people who spend money on their app. So we've found that as soon as you start spending money on app, even your non sponsored posts do better, because Facebook and Instagram will realize, oh, this person is paying their client val of ours, we're going to help them out with their organic posting as well.



VL: that's so interesting and really good to note because everyone's like this is my YouTube algorithm and blah blah blah. So it's like, I don't have time to learn how Instagram works and how it changes every two weeks like you can't we just can't we just do the things organically or naturally and I, you know what I think. This is what the app was designed to do, like, yes, in the beginning, everything was free and they didn't have these paid ads but come on, you know that this was like my main goal for Instagram and Facebook is to make money. 



HD: Absolutely, yeah like sometimes people get upset and I'm like, free platform. They make money, like, what has to happen. So yeah, it's way better, I think rather than joining like engagement pods and all these like Instagram hacks to put $5 behind a wicked Instagram strategy for paid ads and your daily posts will fly



VL: I feel like the wheels are turning and I have a lot of ideas now, we'll have a look at working together soon. Awesome, so maybe I'll save those for later. Okay, excellent. So where do we start is, are there things that we need to do before we make an ad?



[14:17] HD: I would definitely say, we always okay so when I start with a client when I'm talking to a student, I always ask them if they're on Shopify or whatever websites they're on what's the conversion rate for their website. So if they don't have a very good conversion rate. Maybe the website isn't conversion rate meaning, how many people land on their website, versus how many sales they got. So if they don't have a very good conversion rate, then I say, okay, maybe you should look at your website and try to figure out how you can increase that conversion rate maybe your website that dated. Maybe it's 10 years old, so I really want people to have a strong already proven their business by having sales and a good conversion rate. So websites, the number one thing you look at. We also like people to have some sort of email funnel. If they're running to new audiences ads, because if they click on an ad, a prospect clicks on an ad, what happens, can't just send them to their website, we want to collect that data. So either through an email or a phone call like what's happening. I always ask the people what will happen to these leads we get from the ad, because a big part of my job is yes to get the lead from the ad but also what what happens afterwards I don't want them to fall off that was precious money.

So I really want to either we'll work with them to get a wicked follow up sequence, or we'll look at their current follow up sequence, and make sure have an automatic email saying hi, I'm bow. I love the podcast it's awesome. You should listen to whatever the follow up email is we look at, we make sure they have a strong follow up sequence. So website and follow up sequences kind of two number one thing.



[16:04] VL:  this really is like a whole piece. I feel like there's an entire funnel slash process slash, making sure that we're like connecting the dots and checking off the boxes and, I mean, even for me like now like looking out looking nervous again, speaking about things that are things that I like to avoid in my business.

Okay. So, typically I talk about like offerings, later on in the episode but I really do want to break down I know you have like two main offerings. Well, maybe you can tell us about them. I feel like for someone like me. I need a little bit more hand holding like, I don't necessarily have times. I have other resources that I can give. But, timewise, I don't have that so I do need a little bit of hand holding for you to say like, make sure you check this box off. Okay, I'll do this part while you do that part and then it's like it's not as scary for me that way. So can you tell us a little bit more about your offerings and how, how we can involve with them.



HD: Yeah, for sure. So, two main offerings we have our monthly retainer clients.

So our other two offerings is agile a day so it's kind of like our VIP VIP service day. And then our five day live ads class, and the number one thing from the five days live ads class that students say is like oh you're literally holding my hand through this whole thing.

So our other two offerings is ADs in a day so it's kind of like our VIP VIP service day. And then our five day live ads class, and the number one thing from the five days live ads class that students say is like oh you're literally holding my hand through this whole thing.

So personalized to each person. And we literally go through and upload at the same time, and I say, oh, ignore that. Ignore that ignore that. Ignore that option button. So they really appreciate, there's so many buttons in the ads manager. And instead of overwhelming them with ads sequence funnels and, you know, retinas test. If you really just do a retargeting ad in the ads class, which is anyone that has an Instagram following, or website can run that type of ad, and then we do, how to grow your email list type of ad. So we keep it simple. They launch and learn those two types of ads, grow your email list and retarget your followers by acquisition makes a really great success.

And the other one I have is perfect for more.

The ads midday VIP service, it's for more brick and mortar, who are trying to pivot online, who have location based. They've maybe dabbled in ads a little bit before they're savvy in their other marketing ecosystems, and they just work quickly done up and running in a full day.

Yeah, so it takes seven hours and we get the two ads up and running in one full day me and my team do it to kind of options.



[19:28] VL: So great like are already I just feel the relief again, like I'm on an emotional roller coaster right now. I feel this relief like okay cool, this feels more manageable for me to do, where I don't really need to learn every single part of the lingo, I don't need to get overwhelmed with all of the options all the buttons and all the pop ups that might come up. And he really just like, it's like on the when you get like documents you have to sign and they have like the little tabs like sign here, initial here.



HD: I’m gonna use that in my marketing that's so good. Here you go. You just, we just inspire each.



VL: Well we have a lot of friends, we have a lot of mutual friends on Instagram and on Facebook, and they're our community is very much like entrepreneurs and creatives in women who have their own businesses. So I'm wondering if there's a way that I can support you, or can support our community when I see their ads on Instagram, like what do I do, even though like, maybe their service isn't really for me but I want to support them, how do I do that.



HD: I love that you asked that I always asked like close knit friends on my head just about as fast as I could you like it, comment on it because it works the same way, if people are as organic posting. If people are commenting on a sponsored post liking it, sharing it, of course, Facebook's gonna be like, Okay, I'm going to go show it to similar people to now, she just commented on this ad that means people who run Pilates studios or podcasts are probably going to like this ad I'm going to show it to more of them. So yeah, if you see a friend, or something you like, like that, comment and share it. A great way to be supportive.



[21:27] VL: Okay, that's really cool because I didn't, I didn't really know about it because sometimes you see these polls and you're like, Well, is this person gonna see my comments or not. But then I'm like, but I don't know what I'm doing and, yeah, sometimes I share like different products or different opportunities with people who I think would really benefit from it. And then, I'm trying to think of like it's been so long since I've read it. I feel like a little bit shamed right now but I know we're working together students so I don't feel as bad.

Okay. That's really incredible, so even if, like when the next time I see your ad up I'm gonna definitely share it and like it and save it. Does that affect the amount of money we've put in to run the app so like let's say we put in our minimum $5 a day, and then some other people shared it. Do I often not pay $6 a day because it's reaching more people?



[22:13] HD: No, so you put a cap on. So you would, you can put a daily budget or lifetime budget so let's say you had $250 You got a government from the grant. I mean, a government. You wanted to spend $250 In a week you can put a lifetime budget so Facebook could go and spend that lifetime budget over seven days, or you can put a daily budget of $5 so if it reaches $5 It stops.

But I love that you brought that up, don't click on someone's ad, unless you're serious. If it's a friend, because they do pay, sometimes per click. So, my comments. I try to get is sometimes we might be paying per click.



VL: Interesting. So there's a lot of different options, maybe like I feel like we shouldn't get into too many details today because this is, This is a lot of information,



HD: but it's like learning another language, the first day of my class, live five days, my students are like, I'm like, don't worry if for anyone that didn't know I just dropped my job to the desk, because it was a jaw drop.



VL: Okay, So are there any like little extra secrets that we should know about these things, like don't click your friends out of those are going to buy.



HD: I think if you do dabble in ads right now and you're running conversion ads or traffic ads start dabbling in Messenger chatbot ads. Because of this new I don't know if you've heard of it now the new iOS 14 update that's coming up. Apple has said that they're not going to allow it anymore.

So, yeah, it's gonna be a little harder to target exactly who we want for 50% of the people or 40% Whoever uses an iOS 14 fold. So, what Facebook is coming out is, let's use Facebook's platform more so start dabbling in Messenger chat bots, because they don't have to leave the app.

That'd be my suggestion, we're kind of trying it out with clients right now before iOS 14 rolls out in the summer. So if you're not dabbler. Try messenger chat bots for a little bit. Interesting.



[24:39] VL: I wonder how that's gonna change your, your teaching and everything like that.



HD: To see yes yeah yeah I'm gonna have to add that in as one of the, one of the strategies that may be allowed in this district days.



VL: So question for you there's sometimes I get ads and I'm like you I don't want to know about these things, why am I getting an ad for this, can I then, So then I choose like hide add, not for me. Whatever the option was it was just like, not relevant.



HD: What does that do from the businesses perspective, there's just stop running is that person or people like that person, it would probably, people like that person, But also you would stop seeing that ad, and it's actually really good for the business owner, because they're not wasting money showing you the ad. If you're not going to buy from them. Stop showing the ad to you right, that's been very helpful and considerate about what you do.



[25:32] VL: Sometimes, and then maybe I should. So interesting. I feel like this is like a secret world. I don't know anything about before learning that you should do. 



HD: Yes, is I do this all the time, as a consumer running ads. If you go to like a big brand site, some small businesses are starting to do it and we do it with a lot of our clients. If you put something in your cart. I do this for contact, I put something in my cart, and leave it alone for two or three days I don't buy it. And then I get advertised here's 10% You left this in your cart. So if you're looking at something on Wayfair Amazon or, you know contacts or something, put it in your cart, wait a few days you'll probably get advertised and abandoned cart 10% off discount.



VL: Okay, so this actually leads to this so like this creeps me out when this happens because I'll put things on my Amazon cart and then they'll start being a go on Instagram and there's a carousel of everything in my car. Oh my god, the apps are talking to each other. The other thing is and this is probably a study on my phone, I do have an iPhone, but what we're talking about the other day Craig and I were talking about something random, like, like ice cream or something, and then it was getting ads for like listening to us. So, what is going on is that what they're kicking off on iOS 14.



HD: yes, so they're going to take off that they can no longer track your like Google searches or they can't track you with the Facebook tracking pixel, you'll be able to toggle it off, which is kind of silly for iOS users because then you'll start getting advertised like tattoos when really you were looking for a party for your daughter.

So I think it's in everyone's best interest to leave, you're still gonna get advertised to it just won't be targeted nicely to you. But, yeah, I think the phones are listening to even though Facebook repeatedly tells us, they're not.

It could be that someone who likes ice cream, also, like, Women Empowerment Podcast so that's how they found you.

I think their lives are definitely listening.



VL: Okay interesting but we can't confirm nor deny this.

So, okay well that's like, so I sometimes I have to say sometimes I kind of like that algorithm and the way that the ads work and the way that they drop these things because oftentimes, like it's now I don't, I don't want to advertise for things that I don't want to see, I want to get advertised for the things that I do want, even if I don't want to buy it.

Oh my goodness, it's so funny, but I feel like I buy I have on, I've had, I have purchased he's may have purchased things on Instagram before from a sponsored ad. And now, that's what kind of sucks I think because it almost makes me not want to be on that farm because I would just feel frustrated like why am I getting ads for baby diapers, I don't have a baby.

but only friends have babies, is that why I'm getting, you know what I mean like it's weird.



HD: Yeah, I would. Okay. Personally, I would keep the toggle on, but again I'm biased because I would want to find the iOS users through the audiences as an ads manager but I bought natural mascara, the other day off with an ad, I wanted to get a advertise stuff that I like. So I was I'm toggling mine on.



VL: You'll have to teach us that in like on Instagram stories or something.



HD: That’s a good idea.



VL: Yeah, I wanted to do, because it's so funny when we were when we were opening this the Pilates studio, my business partner and we want to find like very, we want to find like all black equipment so we want to like walk hand weights and booty bands and balls for the party studio. And when we, when we couldn't find it, we would go on our phones and just like Google, black, black booty bands, and then we would be like talking about funky black equipment black small equipment to pound it in black.



[29:59] HD: Yeah, oh it's so good. I love it. This panel just becomes my phone, I'll be like that. Advertising beautiful backpack.

Yeah, it's powerful, it's great. It can be great I think you except that we are in, it's a free app, if you expect that it's going to give you sponsored posts, use it for your damage, start talking to it, start hiding the ads you don't want to see training teachers show you ads that you want to see.



VL: Yeah, like liking and commenting and sharing the posts of things you want to see Absolutely. I think this is good advice for like any business as well with you and any customer. If you like someone, support them in any way that you can and yeah there are a lot of free ways to support people especially through social media, but, like, attend their workshops pay for their products, you know, sign up for their services do those things to support that person like I don't think people realize as a small business owner, you don't realize like, literally the happy dance I do when I get an email that says someone so purchased your workshop or like sign up for your workshop today and I'm like, I'm just so ecstatic to see that, so, so great. I mean even liking in the commenting in the sharing and like to see the insights and say hey, people actually care about what I'm saying, well guess what I'm going to talk about this more because you might get with the podcast episodes I look at the stats every week, and I say okay well these are the highest downloaded podcasts, so guess what I'm going to talk more about these topics I'm going to look for guests that can share more about this information like this is how this works, if you like it, share it, like message us on, on Instagram and tell us like what you loved about the episode, like let's continue this conversation so that we can make more and better content for you.



[31:52] HD: Yeah, well, really, it's the same with ads. It's so cool when you see, oh my god someone actually who I don't know who is my mom's friend's boss.

It's really, it's, it's awesome, and it's taking back control a little bit like I think people were a little bit frustrated with how Instagram over the last four or five years has really changed the algorithm and we don't see everyone's posts now and it's not chronological the theme, and so I think investing in ads, learning a little bit about a strong strategy really takes your power back in your business. And I think it's really powerful as, as is all business owners especially we don't have big budgets. So it gives us a little bit of a little bit more control.



[32:37] VL: Absolutely. Wow, this is, it's been interesting because like it's something that I wanted to do but again, like my hesitation is I just don't know where to start and I don't know where, like, I don't know. I don't even know how to do it like I wouldn't even know how do I physically go on Facebook drive on Instagram you don't answer this right now but I know you answer all of these things in your ad class and I don't want to get too deep into it where we're like, okay I just totally zoned out with, What the heck was that word but she said that I don't understand.



There's so much. I mean, we talked a lot about Facebook and Instagram and ads and all that kind of secret sauce, little things that we maybe didn't know I didn't know a lot of those things, but there's so much more to you that I would love to chat about, and one of the things that I really inspired by with you is want to call it like your lifestyle choice of being a working mom, so there's a mix of like stay at home moms and my family and working moms, My mother worked, and she's still working, she even went to school when I was 13. working teams so she was doing her graduate degree, and she was working full time, when we were Wow, yeah so it's something that like even when I was really young, I knew that I wanted to be working like I want to see like the like the options I guess you could say, as a kid I realized like, I don't want to be like my mom was she was looking into his learning and she was, you know, doing all of these things, and being a mom, I think.

I think that's really special. I think that's really cool. So can you tell us a little bit about that in your life.



HD: Yeah, I was just with our daughter, we have a 1.5 year old daughter and we just went together my husband so yeah, I know, Mom. My daughter's name is Hazel is 1.5 years old.

The decision, basically kind of when the pandemic broke out we had a nanny, part time. And, Kristin and I were both working, but when the pandemic hits the nanny couldn't come two days of the week anymore. So we kind of made the decision, it just made sense. My husband is at home with hazel, and I've been able to dive deep into my business and really grow it because I'm allowed the freedom of five days to really grow it. It's really interesting to be the main income provider as a female, and to have my husband with gender roles in western gender roles like he's a stay at home dad and I'm still working.

It's cool to see how Hazel will grow up not having those “normal” air quote gender roles.



VL: And so as as the kind of main breadwinner. And as a mom. Do you find that there are obstacles that we consider facing each day are like challenges that you have with that, how you overcome those challenges?



HD: Yeah, I have mom guilt. You mom parent guilt, whatever you want to call it, it, it's hard, it's still hard. I have with it all the time that you know if they're playing in the playroom and I hear them all day and I'm working away, and many people, You know when it's our special time in the evening, she'll cry cuz she wants her dad, my heart like if it splits into a million pieces. And I'm like oh am I doing the right thing and I always have discussions like oh look grass is always greener on the other side he's like you know I'm making this a sacrifice but like I'm staying home at Hazel like is this what's right for our family right now but I would also love to be on Zoom calls and networking, you know, working, so you know I think no matter if you're the stay at home parent, or whether you're working parents, you have always, I think just being a parent, you have to deal with it. And then what I have done is we every day at four o'clock. It's quitting time and I wake up early with her in the morning so I get time with her in the morning. At four o'clock I quit with her and we have our special traditions, I guess and I am the only one that puts her to bed. So we read books each night, we do bathtime paper to the big hit in our household.

So it's really special having just those things that people and I have together. And that's how we bond the night, I try to remind myself that providing an income for our families with different types of parenting. And still, a parent, different types. I don't know to hopefully get my guilt I guess. And I try to find traditions that people can have just the two of us, to help with the guilt but it never goes away, I cry a lot about it.



[37:25] VL: I think that's really special that you have that that transition when you finish work. Can you tell us a little bit more about the details of it, like what would, what does that ritual look like for you?



HD: We announced that we're, we have a little dance party we put on some Google Home, usually to Hell and Back, she is such a good dancer at one years old. Yeah well we will often go outside right at four o'clock, so that we can catch the light. And that's kind of our routine, and then we'll make popcorn Panther to special popcorn.



[38:14] VL: She’s so young too. so I can imagine the challenge of, you know like when she cries for dad or when, when he was like up near her in the background was there working from home too. Right. Yeah, but I think there's, like, a different way of supporting, like you said. So, whatever the choice is the lifestyle choices and the parents and I think what's really important is like to make time for Hazel and understand that what you're doing is actually supporting her in just different way than your husband is.



HD: I think it's important. You know I had Hazel and I work and support his family so that it is all about diesel progress right now so yeah I always try to put as much as I can.



VL: Oh you're so inspiring. I feel like I'm still not a mom yet but I think about it sometimes what I would do like, as long as I feel like I have this idea of the ideal mom thing that I like to be, and then every time I hear someone's story they're like, No, you're never ready. No, you're gonna do, you're gonna make mistakes you're gonna do the right things you're gonna do right, wrong things and yeah it's just like a fun, I guess it's like a fun journey and getting to know this like human being and supporting them in all the ways right. And I think it's important to have a partner who's supportive of you and like creating these boundaries. Right and like making sure that you're like, okay I have someone to hold me accountable to keep this this work life and family life boundaries.



HD: Yes, he is so good that he's really well he's also with hazel day so it's more of a like, it's a hard stop how to eat because I've been with hazel but yeah he's really really good at the boundaries. 

It's a good balance, are really happy. She's just been so great and she's almost at 18 months and everyone said, best age, and oh my gosh 18 months is the best.

It's a good balance, are really happy. She's just been so great and she's almost at 18 months and everyone said, best age, and oh my gosh 18 months is the best.



VL: I love all of your content online and I just love how like you incorporate her into like your stories and your posts like this is so smart. There was one thing she was holding your phone and you're like you're in my office hours, I'm like, yes, yes, if she answers the phone when I call you. 

My goodness. I love it. Okay, well I want to be mindful of your time because I know that you are strict with your time.



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Rapid Fire Round

1. What are you currently reading? Or what is your favourite book?

HD: I am such an avid bookworm. Such a voracious reader. I am currently reading. Mr. Donna Hughes, new book she wrote room in the Wonder what's her new book The Pull of the Stars, it's getting a little too close to home because it's about a nursery in the 1918 flu pandemic, like roof, we're living 100 years later, so I'm currently reading.

2. What do you love most about being a woman?

HD: I kind of okay I guess because we've talked about. I like defining or not defining like I kind of okay I guess because we've talked about. I like defining or not defining like challenging people's expectations of what a woman is. So I love that. As much as I have mom guilt I love that I'm a working mom and it's not the norm. I kind of love, breaking stereotypes. So as a woman, there's a lot of stereotypes on us. And I like shattering those.



3. What does Empowerment mean to you?

HD: Oh my gosh, this could mean so many things because empowerment to me. A lot of health, because I happen we didn't even touch on this but I had a double lung transplant in 2010. All empowered in my health, taking knowledge and science and I work hard at staying healthy a for Tristen Hazel and myself so empowerment and really empowering myself to be healthy.



VL: That's super important. If you like to have you back on for another episode. And, yeah, that sounds very intense. The fourth question I have for you is what are you currently working toward?



HD: It's kind of exciting, I'm in the process of hiring my first employees. So I'm working towards that I have some calls set up with the small business centers to really figure out exactly what I should be doing, like never hired someone before. I was excited for that next next level of nervousness about working towards.


 
Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E122: Supporting Our Health Through Art and Cycles with Milica Dodic
 
 

E122: Supporting Our Health Through Art and Cycles with Milica Dodic

Join me in welcoming Milica Dodic to the show, and lean in as we chat about the ongoing healing and support of our mental, emotional, and physical health through syncing with cycles and creating through art…


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[1:06] Valerie Lavigne: You're listening to another special episode of the women's empowerment podcast today, I get to introduce you to Milica, she's the owner of rhymes with pizza, where she creates hand painted custom nails.


Her career includes working in the film and television industry in business affairs festival programming and recruitment, with over 15 years of practice and experience with nail art, Milica has expanded her business in May 2020 to offer press on nails and educating others on proper nail care when she's not working or thinking about nails, Milica loves playing with her puppy watching TV shows and movies, and advocating for mental health.


It's so great to have you on the show today Mili we have always had a good time on Instagram, and I just love how that we share like memes and playlists and hilarious reels all about like the 90s in the early 2000s and makes me, like it makes my day I laugh so hard at all of them.


Milica Dodic: It's so funny because I just said to someone this morning that I love how people know to send me nostalgic stuff, and it just brightens up my day. I'm like, oh so I'm this person now like I'm obsessed with the 90s and 2000s and just, can you just please take me back to that time.


VL: It's such a fun like kind of little extra piece of you that we get to see on your Instagram page I love like the quizzes that you do and the stories I think they're so fun I'm like, Yes, I remember all these TV shows. Oh my gosh, I use that oh blow up backpack and like a blow of chair and, oh my gosh, just like days and days and days I just love that, and I love, I love those.


MD: I love unlocking people's memories, good ones though.


VL: Oh my gosh, you know what there was one playlist where I was like, This is triggering me, I'm not ready to listen to. Yeah, thanks. 2009 or 10 right now. But since I've known you and started following you online. I think it's been like almost 10 months I want to say, but I've really had this awesome opportunity to watch you launch and grow your company and your new press on nails which are amazing. So it's been an absolute pleasure and an inspiration just to see your creativity and your passions like really shine in the work that you do. It's incredible.


[3:32] MD: Yeah, it's, it was something that I actually kind of started doing a walk like a long time ago, probably about well, long, about five or six years ago that I was thinking of doing press on nails and then it just sort of fell to the side, and then I found that with the pandemic. I had to make some sort of switch because I wasn't, I didn't want to have people coming into my home which also doubles as my studio, and my workspace. And then I have a few friends who weren't being compromised. So I wanted to be able to offer something that, you know, still like makes people happy I guess like through.

It's basically just wearable art. That's how I view nail nail art in general. And it's just very specific stuff so I generally don't offer just like a single color it's always hand painted miniature pieces of artwork.

And, yeah, it was, it. I saw a bunch of other nailers that I follow that kind of started doing that and offering nails or press on nails. And, yeah, I just thought, why not try it.


VL: Oh, you're doing an awesome job you are a very talented artist and just like you said they're very unique and miniature canvases that's how I like to look at it too, but you are also an advocate for mental health, could you tell us more about your journey and your experience with this.


MD: Yeah. I think I even infused that in any of the work that I do, even with the press on nails. When I first started doing them it was important for me to sort of try and give back in some way and incorporate the things that I believe in so that's where like the designs for charity came in, And one of the first ones that I did was for mental health because it was for October's mental health awareness.

You know like nails have always been a way of creative expression for me, it's just sort of like, it became more of this outlet, where, where I'm able to just like you know even like express my mental state. A lot of the time people are able to tell if I'm not feeling well. When I'm not posting anything about nails, or if it's been like a while there have been times in the past where like, I wouldn't post anything for like two weeks or something.

There would be like two weeks where I'm not posting anything and you know I'll make a post and someone will be like, oh is wondering what happened like are you okay.

So, yeah, um, my journey with mental wellness is, or mental illness rather is quite a long one and an ongoing one. I suffered from a pretty bad nervous breakdown back in 2016.

And that was, it was like super difficult for me to navigate.

And because I went into a state of self isolation for probably about eight months. I didn't have a job at the time, or I did have a job but it was just so part time and fortunately they understood what was happening so it was able to work from home for a time, and then that contract was done so.

So I was stuck in such a state of like really deep depression and not knowing what I was going to do with my life and not really even knowing who I was, that, you know, the only thing that that gave me any comfort was nailart I was like the one thing that was pretty consistent in my life. Other than like watching HGTV and hallmark movies and other comfort shows. And, Yeah, it was, it was kind of like it was just really difficult trying to navigate that whole field of mental health and especially as someone that is an immigrant.

*Molly Barks*


[7:50] VL: No problem. We love it it's just an extra sound effects she's our other special guests.


MD: She has a lot to say


VL: Yeah, it sounds like it I'll have to have her on her own episode.


MD: Um, I think, you know, like as an immigrant, that's something that is such a difficult conversation to have with your family like it's not something that we ever really talked about, you know, growing up, I've probably had anxiety for a big portion of my life.

And it was just something that was not recognized So because of that, you just sort of like hide it or you push it aside and think that it's like oh I'm just being dramatic because that's what I was told.

So I partially had to try and navigate the system on my own because I didn't have conversations with friends about it. But it wasn't until I started going through some through, through it, that I started being more vulnerable and opening up the conversation with other people that they started coming to me for advice, and even just wanting to like share their experience and their story of dealing with mental illness.


[9:06] VL: And I think that's so important in. In those times already do feel very sad or anxious, or are alone, because it I find it is very isolating to feel those ways and you don't always know how to, how to manage it or how to cope or how to process those things so to be able to have friendships and support groups like that is so powerful. You shared a couple little things that really helped you, when you were struggling with, with your mental health. If someone came to you today, right now like if I told you right now that I was really struggling with my mental health, what would be your advice or what would, how would you support your friend.


MD: Um, I think, listening to what their experience is obviously so important. It's not so much about like asking questions I think that that's something that is so that the job of a therapist or a trained professional.

You know, things that are, that come from a place of empathy, I think that was one big thing that I had to learn is the difference between sympathy and empathy and it's just such an ongoing practice to try not to, like, flip it on its head and be like, well, at least, you know, blah blah blah.

I think my biggest thing is just really trying to see sit in that space as hard as it is something that my therapist told me at the beginning when I started therapy, about four years ago.

She, she would constantly say like just sit with your feelings and I'm like, but I am doing it and it's not working and she's like, After several weeks ago saying that she was like, literally sit there with your feelings do not watch TV while you're doing it don't read a book don't listen to music nothing just be there in silence and just like feel things.

So I started doing that and I was like, Oh my gosh, this is what she meant by sit with your feelings and sometimes it's not even sitting for me the thing that helps me a lot of the time is just laying on the ground, though something another friend told me is like, if you just lay down on like a cold ground like your kitchen floor, whatever, just the contrast of that, the cold against your body kind of gives you like a, like a physical cue to sort of snap out of it, I guess.

And it just allows gives me the space to, like, think because the only thing of staring at is the ceiling.

And then the other thing that helps me to was just really researching the different stuff, you know like I didn't really understand what anxiety or depression was, I just kind of knew what the surface definition of it was.

And, you know, like, No, I just believe that knowledge is power, and being able to know like what resources are available to you. And that's something that I say to people all the time, don't, don't let the, the financial aspect be be a deterrent for you. I know that a lot of therapy is not necessarily affordable but there are different resources available, where it is more accessible I think especially with the pandemic there has been a bigger.

What's the word. There's been a bigger focus on mental health and I think a lot of organizations and places of practice have realized, you know, we need to be able to offer services for a lower price or even for free.


[12:52] VL: Those are really helpful I find like what you said about laying on the floor of your kitchen floor, it’s very grounding even if you can’t get outside in the grass if you can't get there, that cold feeling and even the, the firmness of a kitchen floor typically is something that really brings you into the present moment. So, what you were saying by like, oh sitting with your feelings but not watching TV and not being on your phone and not just like talking to your dog actually sitting and being with your feelings can be really difficult to do, and as that's as you start to recognize or acknowledge the feelings or bring awareness to the feelings that are coming up. We automatically seem to want to work. We seem to want to distract ourselves from processing it from dealing with it, or from just even recognizing it so for you, what would you say if someone was like, I'm having a really hard time. Like I feel the feelings, and then I just kind of ignore them or push them back away I'm having a really hard time processing, which you say or do?


MD: I think that's, it's so difficult for me to give advice on like one tip because everybody's so individual I don't know what type of, you know, stuff, you know background, they come with or whatever. I think for me.

What helped me was, was knowing that like, you know, progress isn't linear, I might, you know, the more I practice something that better I will generally get with get get get at it.

And it's the same with like practicing sitting with your feelings, I might feel like crap one day.

And then I won't be able to you know like sit with my feelings that day because I'm just so deep in it.

It's just kind of giving myself that grace and compassion and allowing the space for things to flow essentially. I think when, when I was able to alleviate some of that pressure for myself of being like, I just need to do better like how do I learn to sit with my feelings that once that pressure was gone. That's when I was like, Okay, today I'm having an off day like I might actually just want to like, you know, I can't deal with my feelings today, I'm just gonna watch a movie. Right. And then the next day, I might have a little bit more strength or energy to actually devote time to mindfulness and being able to sit there and process things, you know in a healthier way.

I think it's even like you made a post today that was, that was basically about the like compassion piece and you know that like, you don't have to always be improving yourself or doing better and stuff, you know like, give yourself that grace period.


[15:59] VL: Yeah that's true I did post about that today, It’s an ongoing journey, or mental health is not something that okay we fixed it and now it's good to go. It's something that we're constantly working toward or nurturing maybe instead of always trying to improve improve improve. I mean there's definitely some power and positivity but I feel like the real work, and the real power comes when you can forgive yourself and when you can say like it's okay to not feel amazing every single day it's okay to not feel super happy in this moment, like, we're human beings we have emotions these emotions come and go and they go up and they go down and they go around and all of these different things. But you know that I post about and I share a lot of content about practices and habits and kind of like daily rituals and things are there any rituals or routines that you like to implement into your lifestyle maybe more frequently than not, that support your mental health.


MD: So I go to a naturopath, and that helps both in my mental like with my mental illness, and then also in like hormonal imbalance and whatever other physical issues that may be having.

And I think that that has really helped me in like keeping on track with like getting to know my body better.

That's one practice that I've implemented in like, you know, if one day, I feel like eating pizza, it's okay for me to eat pizza.

But then, you know, there are certain certain repercussions to that so just having a bit of that balance, you know like, I don't necessarily have any like daily rituals I'm kind of like bad at keeping up with the consistency of things sometimes but I think the one thing that is more consistent is like, allowing myself, the compassion to just listen to what my body needs at that particular time.

Whether it's like, you know, mindfully checking in at any point of the day, I don't necessarily start my mornings being like, Okay, what do I need right now. It's just, you know, I might start my mornings off.

You know, really frantic because the dog for example will wake me up at 630 in the morning with her crying, and that doesn't start me off on you know on a good foot in the mornings, but throughout the day I'll try and implement even like points of relaxation I find that like play for example is something that is so important to me. You know today, for example, I'm. I'm so, like, in this in my luteal phase of my cycle and I know that I get a little bit more pad top. The PMS is like a lot worse. So just being aware of what part of my cycle I'm in and kind of trying to work with that instead of against it's so important to me.

And just recognizing that like today for example I won't be able to do a lot of work so instead I might just like, watch TV, and do some painting, and then the painting something that is just a hobby.

And that's another thing that are in any of, like, my wellness practices, it's so important to have some sort of hobby that you aren't looking to make like financial gain from.


[19:44] VL: Yeah, you've made a lot of really valid and really important points, and I think that I mean if we go backwards so having a hobby that doesn't that you're not monetizing, I think is really important, and especially for myself because I'm always kind of like I really love what I do, I love my business, and there are parts of my business that make a little bit more money than others and even though. Like, like content creation for example with my Instagram. I really like making content creation, I don't get paid for every post that I do. But technically that's for work, but part of me makes the excuse of it, like, well, it's fun, and it is really fun. And I like the photography part of that I like the creativity piece to it but maybe.

So you're inspiring me to maybe just do like, or photography and less of it having to be okay this is for something, it can just be for pleasure can be for play.

Also I love that you are following your cycle, this is something that I'm also practicing more and more and specifically with like work and when I do my interviews and also when I'm doing more like intuitive, intuitive creation and not always doing, I think there's such a stigma around having to always be productive and giving yourself permission to say, well, like and check in and say how am I feeling, even if it's not every day at the same time or however, to at least give yourself that time, and that that compassion to say, Okay, well, you know what, this, this part of my cycle is where I take a break, as part of my cycle is where I push a little harder, and for women who aren't doing that yet. I think that's something that has been really game changing for me, and I find, I'm more productive when I follow the flow of my body, because I just like you're, it's like you're working with yourself and you find this like incredible life source energy within you that just, I don't know I just like I can take on the whole world sometimes even when I'm in that. Lower hormonal phase in my cycle. It's like my meditations are marked with it, and I have so many incredible and like expansive ideas for the show and for my Instagram and like how I want to serve in my workshops and all these different things so it's pretty incredible that you're doing it. Do you have you been doing it for a little while.


MD: Um, it's something that has sort of come up in conversation over the last, I would probably say like two or three months, just organically and it wasn't actually until a couple days ago that I looked into it and realized that there is a term for this it just hasn't been like medically researched as much as.

Oh my gosh, cycle thinking.

It's, it's something that like a couple friends have mentioned to me before but not like explicitly in those in that term.

So now I'm looking at like buying a couple books about it because I want to know more about it. I think even my naturopath has like sort of talked about it but hasn't been like listen let's like attack it from this. From this view.

And it's something that is just making me feel so much more empowered, instead of seeing seeing it as like, Oh, I feel like crap, this many days of the month, and I can't do anything like why am I not being productive and instead seeing it as like, this is just the state of my cycle where, as you said, like maybe I can be more creative instead of attacking things from very high energy point, you know it's it's it's working with your body rather than against it and I think that there's so much power to that and yeah it's it's exciting being able to know that there's this like whole other thing that I haven't never heard about really. It also kind of brings me back to my days of like, academia and learning about you know the luteal and follicular phase of your cycle, but like not really knowing what the heck that even means.

So now, you know like, it sucks that I'm 30, and I'm only now finding out about it. I wish that I knew about this when I was like a teenager.

So, I find that, like, the more women I'm able to talk to about this, there's just such a, for lack of a better word like a sisterhood around it right and i think that that feels so empowering to me.


[24:35] VL: Yeah, and it goes back to what you said about having that supportive community, and it's not just for mental health is for our social health and our emotional health and our physical health event. And it's cool to see how everything's really connected when you're doing cycles thinking, you will start to recognize if you haven't already that these different cycles that we go through, are very closely related to the seasons that everyone goes through every year.

So if the way that I think of it is like okay every month, I go through a year of seasons, or I go through four seasons and then working with those seasons like thinking about how in wintertime. We are a little bit more hibernating that summer probably like Netflix and chillin, and just taking it easy. And then as spring starts to come.

We're feeling a little bit more inspired and we're starting to do more things because like think about like the flowers that are or like the seeds that we planted, or are starting to plant are now coming into that blossoming time and same with summer like, that's when we're, we're harvesting all of our crops and all the flowers are like totally in bloom and we're. That's when we're like, really excited and we can do our interviews and we can just really show up and be these like really vibrant cells, and then it cycles back into fall, where things start to slow down a little bit, but it's not about like the, you know, like the dying trees are like the hibernating trees, it's more like, okay, each of the leaves are falling down this is where we're like wrapping up or wrapping up all the things that we've been doing so that we can prepare for our hibernation and I think that's such a fun and cool way to to explore and learn more about your body so I'm so excited that you're on this journey. I don't have any resources that come to my mind. Do you have any books or resources that you are looking into getting about this?

[26:27] MD: Yeah, the woman who coined the terms Cycle Syncing is named Alyssa Vitti and she wrote, WomenCode, and then she also has another book I forget the name of it. I think she's a nutritionist that's based in New York or something and basically all her work is around us and just trying to empower women to really get to know their bodies better, you know, like cycles thinking through, even incorporating things in your lifestyle and nutrition based stuff, like what things you should or shouldn't eat. According to the part of your cycle you're in.

And, yeah, I'm looking at getting the audio book for that and then probably just like the regular book for her second piece that she wrote because I think it also comes with like a bunch of recipes and stuff and I love cooking, most of the time.

So, yeah, it's kind of like this like cool new thing that I am starting to discover and it feels really fun, like you said, and it just feels like there's just so much hope behind it I think in a lot of ways in the past, especially when you're talking to doctors and stuff and this goes hand in hand with like mental illness too is that it will be really dismissive or they'll just sort of use these like three blanket terms or, you know like, general practice, things that might not actually work for your body so at the beginning of my whole mental wellness journey. I was.

I was supposed to go on an antidepressant, and I was like, This doesn't feel right for my body and I ended up listening to my body and not to the psychiatrist. So wasn't very good at her practice.

And I ended up going to a naturopath, and that has helped me so much more because we actually sit down time.

And it's not a thing where, you know, I had to have a lot of antidepressants, so I think being able to take a more holistic lifestyle is.


VL: Because we’re still on the topic of mental health resources topic, what resources would you recommend?


MD: So there's, there are a few resources about this woman specific to Toronto and Ontario for affordable therapy. I think it's affordable therapy network.com or something like that. And it's just a list of a bunch of different therapists and social workers and counselors that offer affordable rate therapies both for couples and individuals.

And that's how I found my current therapist and she's really great.

What else is there, I have also a link to a document that a friend of mine and I have combined some resources as well for not just actual like therapy but just different like links to learning a little bit more about mental health. So I can share that as well.


VL: That would be amazing. All this has been a really interesting conversation I feel like we dabbled in a little bit of everything in terms of like mindset, mental health, emotional health and also some of our physical health too. I think this is going to be really helpful for people listening. So let us know where we can find you follow you and how we can support your business?


MD:

IG | @rhymes_with_pizza

Website | www.ryhmeswithpizza.com Press on nails available on this site! And then I also take custom orders as well. Prices are, there's a large range of them. So everything is custom made, and every piece is unique because it's hand painted. And then I also offer some nail care stuff so there's cuticle oils and they're all natural.

There's three different types currently I'm probably going to be adding a couple more. And that's a little bit more affordable and it's also for people that don't necessarily want to get press on nails.


VL: Yeah, I was telling the Milica before the recording that because of how much I work in like the fitness industry and how much I use my hands I feel like I'm constantly chipping my nails and I never, I don't remember the last time I painted my nails I'm going to be honest with you, but I do like I do feel like there is a part of me that has these beautiful press on nails that you have but I just learned my, I just learned my nail care from you and I feel like I learned how I would want my nails to look, if I paint.


MD: It's also inspiration for outside of just nail stuff like if you're into drawing, painting, I love talking about just like creativity and that whole journey too so I think anybody can be creative. It's honestly like if you haven't already checked out her Instagram page you would need to, because I still don't understand how you make those detailed drawings or detailed like, how do you do that with nail polish I really don't know. Every time I'm like this is amazing.


VL: It’s so impressive! I can't even sit still just to like paint one nail one color, and I find like I always it's always like, how good is it, how does it look like I pushed my fingernail into the couch after I painted it.


VL: What are you currently reading, or what is your favourite book?


MD: I haven't been reading as much I just found that like reading is really difficult for me to keep consistent with it so the way that I try and get back into that habit is reading youth graphic novels.

I recently read one. Oh my gosh, the name escapes me, But it was just this like adventure graphic novel and it's super fun and, yeah, there's always a beginning, middle and end, and things are always, there's always a resolution.


VL: What do you love most about being a woman?


MD: Oh my gosh, so many things. I think like femininity is so powerful to me like being able to be able delicate and assertive.

Feels so powerful to me I think that there's, you know, there's like, just so many different almost like characteristics that you can take on as a woman, and I love that.


VL: What does “empowerment” mean to you?


MD: I almost look look at empowerment is like being able to share that with other people. I don't necessarily feel empowered all the time myself but if I'm able to share that with somebody else and make them feel confident about what they're doing and who they are, then, then I almost feed off of that.


VL: What are you currently working toward?


MD: Oh gosh. Um, what am I working toward. I think just having a better patience, practice with myself. I think that that kind of goes hand in hand with the whole play thing and why I'm trying to incorporate more hobbies and just like quiet time because it gets me into a better flow state and then I'm able to get back to work and like create things a little bit better. It also like goes with that whole cycle sinking thing and that, that just makes me super excited.


 
Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E120: Q&A: Personal Development
 
 

E120: Q&A: Personal Development

A new Q&A episode diving into Personal Development. Learn from my examples, and also this week I have questions FOR YOU…


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[00:07] This week’s sponsor of the Women’s Empowerment Podcast is my Healthy Habits Workshop. These are monthly themed workshops that help you go from overwhelm to clarity so you can build healthy lifestyle and essential oil habits and find the routine that works best for you. Each workshop is live, virtual and on the first wednesday of every month.


I am Valerie LaVigne, your Habit Mentor, and I’m on a mission to help you make healthy habits, keep those promises to yourself, and change your life one small change at a time. If you’re interested in learning more, visit https://www.valerielavignelife.com/workshops today.

PART ONE: Questions You’ve asked ME

[3:22] LAURA: How do you keep yourself motivated to keep up with all your routines?

Habit Tracker (download my free Habit Tracker Guide!)
Schedule you habits/goals into your calendar
Get an accountability buddy
Hire a coach/mentor (check out my Mentorship Program here!)
Set milestone prizes/gifts
Have a healthy competition with friends
Share goals + progress to socials

[8:40] KAYLIE: What are your top 3 self-improvement book suggestions?

The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy

The Happiness Advantage by Shawn Achor

Becoming Supernatural by Dr. Joe Dispenza

[11:57] CANDICE: What is your proudest accomplishment?

Buying Exhale Pilates in 2020! www.exhalepilates.ca, instagram @exhalepilates

[16:47] CANDICE: An instance/period of time that you thought was rough but ended up being a blessing and helped guide you to the right path/an important change?

2009: Getting mono and leaving university 

Episode 58: Speak Your Truth with the Throat Chakra

2013: Getting fired from my first yoga job

2016: That time quit my full time teaching gig, left my family, and partner, and I bought a one-way ticket to Guatemala - I had no idea what I was doing and there were some tough times along the trip and during those times it really didn’t make sense to me why I was there

2020: The Pandemic

[23:38] PART TWO: Questions for YOU!

  1. Are my current habits and goals aligned with my long-term goals?

  2. Are my mental and physical health a priority?

  3. Am I surrounded by supportive and empowering people?

  4. Am I getting out of my comfort zone enough?

  5. What am I afraid of? Why do I think I’m afraid of it?

  6. Am I making enough time for play, fun, love, and/or peace?

Ask your questions here and I will answer them in the podcast and/or on instagram @vallavignelife

 

Download the FREE Habit Tracker Guide

Val LaVigne Life - Habit Tracker Guide
Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E116: Taking Aligned Action to Manifest Success
 
 

E116: Taking Aligned Action to Manifest Success with Cheryl Sutherland

Cheryl Sutherland, Cheryl is a transformational speaker business strategist and founder of please notes. A for purpose company and affirmation Feld products creator Cheryl felt restless and underwhelmed at her nine to five…


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[00:28] Valerie LaVigne: Welcome to the women's empowerment podcast today I'm really excited because I get to introduce you to our special guest, Cheryl Sutherland, Cheryl is a transformational speaker business strategist and founder of please notes. A for purpose company and affirmation Feld products creator Cheryl felt restless and underwhelmed at her nine to five.

After spending over 1400 hours in learning and facilitating personal development coaching and reigniting her inner creativity, Cheryl created a company that inspires women to step into their own power by building confidence clarity and creativity as a woman's empowerment expert, author and entrepreneur, Sheryl Sutherland and please notes have been featured in instyle Huffington Post Forbes, Fast Company, American Express open forum thrive global Britain co travel and more.

And on podcasts, such as the creative Empire, I love success. nofilter with Phil Palin, and more, including now the women's empowerment podcast resides between Los Angeles and Toronto, Ontario and again, Cheryl I was so excited to have you here I feel like this was just the right timing and we came together in this really powerful way through the make lemonade community in a very strange time, but what I love about this whole thing is that it's become this kind of organic serendipitous little like no we're talking about little adventure that we've, we've been on together.

Cheryl Sutherland: Yeah, it's been so so delicious and I'm super excited to be here with you today.

VL: Thank you. Well, I was doing a little bit more research on you and kind of getting to know. But what I really discovered I was looking for the juiciness, but I really discovered was that you're like a fairy godmother. you just like pull all these magical things out of people and you're like this is who you are and you fold up this mirror for people and you are like confirming and affirming. They're, like, they are light, I guess you could say so. I was just thinking like, oh my god I feel like she just like their buddy Bobby boobs into, into people's lives and like creates this magic. And speaking of magic your, your products are absolutely stunning and pleasing.

CS: I think that might be the next tattoo I get is booty bump. And then just put it on my left butt cheek. because I am quite magical let's let's be real.

VL: Oh my gosh, that's amazing. I love it, I love it, love it. I've never actually I don't know if I've inspired anyone to get a tattoo before so this might be a first.

Well I'm also really excited to have you on the show because, as I read in your bio you are an expert in women's empowerment and what better place to talk about that than on the women's empowerment show. So I really would like to learn a little bit more about what you share and how you you serve your community.

[3:33] CS: Oh my god, I love this so thank you again for having me on. Perfect timing as per always, and I mean I guess I am a fairy godmother I'm just gonna take that, because I'm all about helping you become your favorite version of you, and whatever that means to you because everybody's got something different. Some people really want to be an amazing parent some people their version of success is to, you know, have an amazing company or, you know, be able to support, like kids in a certain way that they feel like is super important.

And I feel like the more that we allow people to step into their zone of genius and really do those things, follow their curiosity and believe in themselves. That's how we get the ingenuity that we desire that's how we, you know, create the advances, not only in technology, but in society as a whole, like, really allowing for us to move forward and to be better and to be even more successful more fulfilled than we were before. As you had indicated before I have this amazing line of affirmation for both goods and that was my first step into that space.

Because I really wanted it to be about the individual like for them to be able to have the tools that they needed to move forward to really delve in deep to really discover who they were, what their passions were etc etc. And then, I've kind of expanded since then so of course I've got like the guided journals, which included like clarity dream manifestation and gratitude. And I've made it in such a way that it's comfortable.

And if it's not fun if it's not easy why I do it right. And then of course I've got the additional goods like we already held the water bottle labels the enamel pins as continual reminders of who you really are and what you want to create.

From there I've expanded into more bits like doing more workshops doing more speaking doing more facilitation. Because the thing that I've noticed is that people will get really excited get themselves a journal and be like, I'm going to change things in my life, and then get stuck so in me being able to provide not only like a service of saying, okay, here are some different journaling tools here are some different techniques. Let's do this together right now, it really allows us to start creating that inertia, start creating that momentum, increase the change that they really want to have in their lives.

[6:16] VL: That is incredible and I feel like, as you're explaining this, it really becomes clear that there there is a gap in this type of field like that personal development. The journaling, all of that fun and pretty amazing. You know that like inspirational stationery, it's all wonderful but if you're not using it and you're not putting it into practice or not taking action then you're not going to see those results you're not going to see that growth.

So, I love that you have kind of evolved in this way to to offer these workshops to go that little extra bit in really supporting your community, and not just like selling a product. So I think that's really powerful. Can you tell us a little bit more about how you kind of started these notes because I know you said you started in your nine to five job and then you're getting and also this all into this personal development, did you see that gap as well like how did you. How'd you get to where you are now.

[7:11] CS: So I always say My life is either going to be a Lifetime movie, or people won't be like this show so to make the longest story short, I was born and raised in Calgary, Alberta shout out Stan Peters, and I got involved in personal growth at a really complicated time in my life I had just seen the dissolution of a horrific relationship and then a lot of other relationships decided to leave my life at the same time. And then so that's when I got into personal growth because I knew I was ready to let something new come in and anything had to be better than this and what I discovered was so much better than anything I really discovered.

And really, whatever I thought it could be, and then going and continuing that journey, I had decided that I was going to move to California, because why not write. I'm really big into manifestation I've been manifesting things for years without even knowing. And then when I got clear that that was happening within 24 to 48 hours I ended up getting two job offers and they took one and then six months later, I mean they trucked on down drove down.

And then I worked for a couple different companies which was really great because both of them were led by female entrepreneurs and I can really see that day to day difference in how you feel when you have like high EQ would you feel when you feel like the results that you get when you feel abundant, the results that you get when you are coming from that space of joy and love versus restriction lack etc etc. And then in being able to work for these two companies I was able to see what to do and then what not to do and then again that's very big gap that was in the market, not necessarily something that I was like, Oh, I need to build products with but like really noticing. There's a tangible shift in people's results when they feel good about themselves when they're confident in themselves.

And I guess perhaps even then that's when the seed was planted to really support female entrepreneurs, or entrepreneurs period, because they're not getting that support from their HR like we're not having someone saying hey you're doing a good job or I feel one to 10 like you get a raise right it's just us out here in the streets with our processes.

Right. And then from there. I've reached a point with that second company where I was like, Okay, I know that if I leave here, and I just attempt to get another job. I'm still gonna feel the same level of emptiness because I know that I'm ready to create something that I'm really in love with that really supports people in the way that I want to support them, and something that makes me feel excited like I'm actually doing something I'm creating some sort of difference. And that, at that point, again I had no idea what that was, however, whenever I create room for the universe to jump in.

Honestly the most amazing things happen so I ended up quitting that job. And just spend some time with myself just doing a lot of journaling, going back into personal development magic and working with affirmations really getting into an amplifying my practice, and then that's when that idea came in was really to surround myself with affirmations because I noticed the huge difference in myself, because I had been pouring so much into these different companies I didn't know who I was. I didn't know what I was in love with.

I didn't know what was important to Cheryl, and so in taking that time to pour into myself and boost my self esteem boost my self confidence and, you know, got clear on the ground that I wanted to stand on. Then I was able to allow that idea to come in and then say hey I can actually do this. I think that's something that a lot of people go through, they'll get like a really great idea.

And then the first thing that they have is like, Oh, I can't do it because of X, Y and Z and we pummeled to the ground. However, if you're able to create that sort of fertile ground, and really take care of that. Like take care of your mental space. When you do have an idea, then you can actually support it and allow it to grow.

So with that it was the stickiness of my first item, and it was really like again surrounding myself with all these affirmations because I noticed how quickly we forget who we really are how capable we really are how deserving we really are and that life is supposed to be fun and it's supposed to be great for us right so really taking the time to reprogram and then from the sticky notes. I ended up going to do the, the journals and then migrated into all these other bits because I noticed that, again, like there's just so many different ways that you can choose to integrate affirmations in your life, and it's all about that repetitive like you have to the repetition is the thing that really allows you to change your habit of thought.

So, if you're not continually seeing these things, then you're not going to change the way you think. So when it hits you, the journals they were amazing, but you're probably gonna leave them at home. So what about having like a mirror to cows What about having a water bottle labels, you're going to the gym or wearing like an enamel pin yearly in your meeting and creating these sorts of things. And then from there again like as we talked about like really making sure that people have the tangible, tools, and then the support to actually start implementing these things. And, and I feel like when it comes to business. Personal like it's the biggest personal growth thing ever and anybody that started a business like you.

Right. And it really comes down to the fact that me starting this business, actually has allowed me to grow in such a delicious way, in a way that I couldn't have done by myself through whatever courses through whatever workshops, and it really has allowed me to step into my zone of genius and the place that I really love playing that I can give the most value in a place where I feel like I'm operating at my highest self, and therefore, really creating the changes that I want to create more.

[13:25] VL: Oh my goodness, I feel like that was just the perfect spot for a mic drop.

So, first of all, I want to congratulate you for just really coming to that realization of this isn't for me and who is me and how can I learn more about this person, and the person that I want to be and that's what's really cool about personal development because I've been, you know, doing the same type of work that you've been doing and really understanding myself and figuring out who the best person of me is so that I can serve my community better.

And so it's cool to, to hear kind of that journey for you, and we always talk about manifestation on the podcast too so I'm really excited I want to circle back to that in a minute. You mentioned EQ and for some people who don't know what that is it's emotional intelligence which is a huge part of personal development and of life.

And absolutely starting a business is, is a great way to dive into and take action in personal development my friend says that being an entrepreneur is personal development paycheck.

CS: So there you go, sometimes yeah sometimes.

VL: Sometimes you find your hair and your hands.

CS: But yeah, I love that it started with the sticky notes. Do you have a sticky note with you What does it have participant course I use all of my stuff I feel like Hair Club for men I'm not only the owner I am a, I'm a member too but. So, I wish you could see behind me but I'm not going to pivot my thing. But yeah, so this is what the sticky notes look like, and the original ones that used to have a different affirmation on every single page with a different image. Now the tricky part was that people love them so much that they didn't want to use them. And I was like, yo, if you like my company, buy more sticky notes yeah gotta use them, and then so I actually changed the design ever so slightly so now they come in a pack of three, and each three packs there's there's three different, I guess, what are they called three different color schemes, right, so we've got the pink which is the cheeky and this falls into the majority of like the additional thing, so it's more messages that are like playful and sarcastic so if you're taking notes you have messages like I'm a gift of the world gets a bad rap, I'm amazing at everything and anything that I do, I am legendary etc etc. The blue is war messages of calm so if you're dealing with a lot of anxiety or like you know you're feeling like you would like to top up the amount of love that you have messages like life loves me I'm living a joyful life. I'm so excited to, and then with the golden black collection The Confident collection that really gets into abundance that gets into competence I get into courage messages like everything I touch turns to gold messages like I'm ambitious and abundant, or I only manifest greatness in my life like those are the things that really allow you to build that level of, I guess, confidence as well or EQ and like really allow you to expand into all of you. So depending on what you're going through your journey on what you choose to work on, you know, you might be gravitating to one set of messages versus the other. Or you might want to just talk yourself up on all sides it's really up to you.

[16:57] VL: That sound fun. Okay so manifestation. Something that I learned about you is, and you kind of shared a teeny bit of this is that you manifested. And you you use manifestation you use journaling, to manifest your business success. Can you break that down at all for us, maybe like take us a little bit behind the scenes, and how we could also do that

STICKY NOTES HERE!

[17:40] CS: For sure so we've got some tangible tips so if you want to listen to this again. you totally can. I mean we've gotten records for you, or you can start writing them down to feel good to you. So the great thing about when it comes to manifestation is it's really about the energy of what you feel right. So when you are looking to apply this specifically to your business you kind of want to be as specific as you can. That feels good, if you feel like you're pushing if you feel like there's resistance than you're actually kind of taking yourself backwards so again, let success feel natural.

Taking yourself backwards, is first everybody's like you need to have a proper business plan right so have that business plan so you know what would be the ideal way you would like to move from point A to point B. If you're like oh I'm going to create a widget and it's going to take over the world, it's just like yeah that's great but how do you want it to. So really getting into stuff like who is your target market. Who is your clientele like Who do you want to buy it, are they buying it for themselves, are they buying it for friends etc etc so you've got that part that's in the business plan. Now we have the opportunity to step into that manifestation journaling part. So when it comes to you getting being like this multimillionaire or creating this delicious huge business, what does that actually look like, what is your day to day.

Who do you talk to where you live, how many employees you have. Do you have a logistic system. are you like really big on social media platform really writing out what this actually looks like. Now, as you're doing so you're gonna notice internally, does this feel good. Are you excited about this, or does this feel like you're forcing it does it feel icky does this feel like kind of like this doesn't really make sense. Pay attention to that. Now, it could be that you have the opportunity to delve into why you have a Glock some people have a block against being successful or having a lot of money or, you know, like, or they have a fear of success or fear of failure like all these things come into play and then by doing that, to discover that it could also be that you're just attempting to make something work that isn't what you, what is in your highest or in your best priorities to actually create and you're going to notice that there's a block there you're going to notice there's a slow down there. And until you have that conversation of is this actually for me or is this something that I feel like I need to do, then you're not going to be able to make that next step and then move through that.

So, let's say for example we've already gotten very very clear that, and I know for myself, that please note is already a multi million dollar business that I have my product shipped all over the world that I get to engage with the most delicious people and I just love the feeling of people purchasing and giving and receiving my goods it just feels so great to see that people really love themselves that are valuing themselves and then also see other people in this way that they deserve the gift of personal growth. Now, also take a look at what you actually want the buyer experience to be like how does that, how does that look like and then also what is your company look like five years down the line, 10 years down the line, how are you growing How are you pivoting really again taking the time to write that out reiterate it to yourself, and then say it to yourself multiple times.

So some people will have like a vision board, some people will have, you know, just like journal it like you've got so many different ways to create that anchor and then when you create an anchor enveloping and relishing the feeling of having what it is you desire is so, so important, because that's the thing that's going to allow it to come into fruition. Now, oftentimes you'll hear with a lot of these like really big athletes that they win, they're like, Oh, you won the championship How does it feel and they're like, Oh, you know like, it feels like it makes sense or it feels natural. Oh look at this person they're so full of themselves. No, they've actually practiced getting the thing that they want so much that it just makes sense for the universe to give it to them therefore they're able to allow it in.

We hear so often about people that win multimillion dollar latos and stuff like that and then 15 minutes later they're broke again. This is because they have not worked on their wealth consciousness and made it so that level of success that they desire is natural. So if it doesn't feel natural then like, It's very difficult to hold on to it. Now, one other thing when it comes to using journaling for your business or for any sort of growth when it comes to your company or, like, your life is what I love to call “post manifestational awareness.”

So this gives you the opportunity to look. Take a look back at what actually happened, especially if it's something that you did not want to happen, and figure out what was the reason behind it, why did this actually occur. So there was actually a show that I did, I was really nervous about doing it I was like no Cheryl this makes sense, it's the next step in your business, etc etc really coming from that space of if I don't do it something bad is gonna happen, aka lack scarcity limitation however I did not know that at the time. Did the show was not great spent like way too much money, and definitely did not make back my investment, and then when I sat down, I was like, Oh, this is why I didn't turn out, because I did not do it from a place of love, or finance or excitement, or happiness. I did it because I thought that I had to, and then also I thought that money was a key to actually allowing my business to grow when it was really about the feeling of it growing and really listening to myself when it came to these things so now I'm able to actually have that conversation and then choose differently and then I noticed when I'm feeling a certain way. That is not what I want to happen. Also if you take a look at something delicious that happened like I was just doing something random and my girlfriend like I was inviting my friend onto clubhouse which is this new social app Hey what's up, and I was like hey do you want to check this out like here's a thing and it was a PR agent that lives in America that I knew from like a hot minute like a long time ago we used to just work in a co working space together. And she was just like, yeah. Oh, and I was actually thinking about you because I actually am doing the holiday gift guide with Ebony and I would love for you to be in there and then we can also have you on like Instagram Live and you can do a little session probably like, okay, that's cool. Because every magazine you like, that's pretty big. And I didn't have to sleep with anyone. I didn't have to do anything. I was just like, yeah, this makes sense like let me just give you this uh this person like.

And it just fell into place for me and really allowing me to step back into the feeling of what actually transpired to allow that to happen. I was in an amazing mood. I was feeling giving, I was like, who could really benefit by having this invite to clubhouse who I actually really like, and then I thought of this girl and she was like hey, Merry Christmas. So really allowing you to notice the feeling that's attached to the things that you are doing so that you can practice, taking action from that, that same feeling of allowing of expansion of happiness and then abundance.

[24:58] VL: Oh my goodness I'm getting like tangley and excited this is so great. So, I love this because I often forget about the power of manifestation, I forget that when I'm reaching a goal I outline all the logistical things I can, I feel like most of the time I think logically and then I'm like, oh yeah but then there's also this magical power of our mindsets. So you mentioned a couple kind of, I guess the word, we could use is like mistakes people make when they're manifesting, is there anything else that people should avoid doing when they're manifesting?

[25:34] CS: Yeah, I definitely think people think that they have to be the catalyst and that was a big problem for myself, my kids, my personality is naturally like a controller personality.

And so I used to having if anything's gonna get done, I have to be the one to do it, which is not conducive to building a multimillion dollar Empire like I have to be able to learn right I'm choosing to be able to learn how to delegate how to give to people and how to also attract amazing people that are operating within their zone of genius, as they're supporting me. And so I think what a lot of people think is okay, what is the end result that I want and how am I going to bring it to fruition and be like, I'm sitting with her I'm deciding I'm sitting with Oprah at her house, eating avocado, this is what's going to happen, or like, you know, I am going to get this next business deal and it's going to be feel so great and to do that, but even in me saying that you can kind of hear the energy behind it and just like are you forcing things like this is not good. So being really general. So if the thing that you want to come into fruition has a lot of energy around it, it's kind of sticky, you're not able to kind of like, you know, jig rejigging around just go general so stuff like you know:

Everything is always falling into place for me

Life loves me

I living in a friendly universe

Things that you can say and feel that they are in fact true like I am secure, you know, you might not be feeling rich but you might feel abundant you like even though you don't have the zeros in the bank account right. You might feel like, you know what I'm secure and safe like that things are things are just delicious today, were like, oh, like I love surprises surprises and the universe continues to surprise me in the most amazing ways and letting that be the thing that you allow to grow for you and then all these other places are gonna fall into place for you too.

[27:26] VL: That's such great advice. I am really glad that you said that because something you mentioned at the beginning of this episode was, you know, when you started your your your personal development journey. You didn't even realize how amazing it was going to be. I think that's what people forget is like, we think, what we want is so great and we think that like this is the goal we're striving for. When really, it's so much bigger than that, like it's so much more amazing and so much more powerful and more incredible. And so I'm really glad that that you gave those those examples, I love them. I'm gonna write them down their own manifesting I'm very excited. So, another key piece to manifesting that you mentioned was the action taking so you're you're following your feelings, and then you're taking actions, and then another action, another action. All of this is leading to, to the goal or like the big picture, and I know a lot of people stop themselves at the action taking piece I know for myself like when I first got into personal development I was reading all the books, until all the books were saying the same thing and I wasn't doing anything to get there, like I wasn't really putting myself out there for. So for some of the people who are listening and new to manifestation, or maybe new to their business?

[28:58] CS: What is some advice to take out action. That's great. So I think that the most important thing is it's not really about action it's about aligned action right so you have to do things that feel really good not because just logically it makes sense. Now, as you start practicing you're going to notice that feeling within your body. Are you afraid to do something or is this actually like a block to not do this, like, is this your intuition, telling you, no.

So I would actually say start practicing a lot with meditation if you don't have a meditation practice, then please do take a look at some whether it's some guided meditations I've got some available on the website, or you can use YouTube or, you know, sitting for five minutes, 10 minutes, 20 minutes at a time, and just connecting because then that's really what's going to allow your intuition you really notice the difference in your intuition versus being trial and error because I mean trial and error is great but it's just like, why. So, as you practice with the aligned action, you're going to be able to know okay like for example when I got a virtual assistant, I was like, ah, but I'm like I know I need to do it, but also like I had a lot of fear but it's just like, Okay, what is this fear this fear is not about the fact that I need this person or this person is amazing at what they do, or that my business will amplify itself as a result of having additional support. It was the fact that I was worried that I wasn't going to be able to consistently pay this person and that might get in trouble with that. Right.

That is not the truth. Because in fact, in me employing this person that I'm going to actually be able to create more streams of income and do it much quicker than if I attempted to do it myself. And I'm not going to be burnt out like everybody's like, Oh, I want to be successful but if all you're doing is hustling and struggling this whole time, then you're never going to be successful because you don't know how to rest in success. You don't know how to rest in that level of achievement and we're so good at pushing ourselves, and having the opportunity to take that step back and just say, Oh, this is what I've created, let me be proud of myself really acknowledge where we're at and that's going to be one of the key things for you to actually be that successful person that you really desire to create that life you want. So, but going back to that when you're taking action really understand like, what is the purpose of this action, and is it pulling and you can feel internally is is pulling you towards the thing that you want or is it kind of like sidetracking or taking you away from it.

Now sometimes the universe will end like you will do it for yourself Take the, the slightly scenic route. However, there was always opportunities for growth and everything that you go through so there's never a wrong thing that you've done it's just like, oh I'm learning right so if you're doing something new. It's not mistakes, it's just learning opportunities. And as long as you actually learn those lessons, then you won't keep repeating it so again. I know a little diatribe but when you're coming down to making decisions really understand the come from, is it coming from your heart is it coming from your head, or from the gut. Does it make sense for you in your business does it feel good.

Does it feel aligned with what you want to create and when you want to serve, and if so then you know just step ahead and step in for.

[32:14] VL: That's perfect. And it really comes back to getting clear about the intention, and getting clear about how you want to feel, which I feel like is a perfect segue into one of your offerings that is an A newer I guess this year, and it's called Create Clarity in Your Calling. Tell us about this. How can we be a part of it?

[32:39] CS: Oh my gosh, okay so basically what I've done is I've taken some of my favorite class is to really support people again in starting to just do the things right but also do it with the extra little sauce like the extra bit of mindfulness like the cheat code I guess is the best way to say it.

Not a cheat code, a legend. There you go. So this particular bundle actually has my journal your way wealthy class, it is basically a modified version of my journal your way to clarity class that one actually has or this one actually has different like four different journaling exercises that you get to practice, and you can continue to put into implementation for yourself so you can understand how to actually get into the process of journaling, how to journal for manifestation how to really take a look at the life that you really want to create and against deep yourself in the feeling of having the thing that you want, so it's easier for the universe to give you the things that you desire, and for you to act in alignment versus in scarcity, right. It also has some additional downloads that you can get so you can actually start practicing with different prompts and stuff as well. And then there's also a amazing money manifestation to really allow you into opening up your money files, kind of changing the way that you feel about money, and then making sure that your money is working for you money is your best friend she's out here just in the streets trying to support you the best way she knows how However, if you don't let her help you. She's not going to be able to really opening that up for you and allow your business to come in.

[34:12] VL:

Cheryl Sutherland

www.cherylsutherland.com

www.pleasenotes.com

instagram: @pleasenotesgoods

[35:13] VL: Rapid Fire Round!

Question One: What are you currently reading? What is your favourite book?

CS: Okay, so if you'd asked me this a little bit ago I would have given you a different number but okay so my favorite book.

The longest one has actually been The Autobiography of a Yogi by Paramahansa Yogananda.

The reason I love this book is it really gets into the life of this man who actually started bringing yoga to the, to the west. However, the thing that I love about it is that he lives in this space of possibilities when he was a child and, like, just imagining walking through like the town that you're in and just seeing all these people like this one guy's a disappearing Yogi. this one guy's a floating Yogi and just like having that sense of magic and possibility around you.

I just finished this other book and which is a one steak sauce is called The Game of Life and How to Play It by Florence Shovel Shin, you can get it on like iBooks or whatever for 99 cents and literally it's talking about the law of attraction how to manifesting, how to ask for that space of like, it is versus like oh can I have this, and it's so honestly it changed the way it's kind of amplified the way in my belief and my knowingness that I can really have what I want the universe is here to deliver it to me.

Question Two: What do you love most about being a woman?

CS: What do I love most about being a woman I mean like I recently just fallen in love with my body because it is hashtag amazing. But I also think one of the things that I love is just being able like that level of emotion that we're able to connect and share with, and it's kind of sad that it's not as emotional like it's not as accepted for men, because I really feel like that would be so delicious but just being able to be with a group of women and be like oh my gosh hey how are you, I love your hair Let's be friends like I love that and authentically like care and connect to one another, really, really quickly while I feel like it might be a little bit more difficult for our male identifying counterpart.

Question Three: What does Empowerment mean to you?

I think it means really it's about being able to stand in all of you, you know, being able to be 100% yourself whether it's your hair, whether it's your clothing, whether it's like the way that you like to pronounce your R's like just allowing you to come and step out and being all of you, and that's actually where we are going to have the most delicious things happen because someone has said yes to themselves.

Question Four: What are you currently working towards?

I would like a snack I'm kind of hungry. No, I'm what am I, I'm currently working towards really allowing myself to have support like I had said before, that's something that I'm really excited to have, and also excited to allow in more ways. And then also, multiple streams of income so making, I used to have this thing where if it wasn't hard, then I wasn't doing enough.

Do you know what I mean like if I wasn't, you know, work if I wasn't struggling, that like the money that I received was not as valuable, and I have I've realized that that is in fact a lie. And that, that I don't have any value in the past to struggle or striving anymore so really allowing it to like me to have the things that I desire and it comes easy and it'd be fun, and it'd be life and continue to grow in that way.

[40:32] VL: I'm so glad you said that that's something that I've been really moving away from also is like my, my family grew up, you know, struggling to get to where they are and putting in that, you know, the elbow grease and the blood and sweat and the tears and you know we did this so you could have this and it's like, Okay, I did doesn't have to be such a struggle and that was hard for me because it almost was like part of my identity, but it was like growing up, learning these things from my parents, and now I'm. It's funny because it's like I'm moving away from the home, and also moving away from like that family mindset. Anyway, I feel like that's a whole other episode we could get into.

[41:00] CS: I hear you on that I mean I know for myself like I'm a first generation Canadian and my parents like God bless them they had to go through so much in order to you know make sure that their family members were taken care of that like you know that we were taken care of, and I'm so proud to say that like my parents are really happy that I'm happy you know they're really happy that I've chosen a different path and like, I think that's an opportunity to actually give to our parents in that way as to, to show them that things can be different, and if we're able to strong enough to stand up on our own and say, this is something we're changing for the family.

Like, I know my mom would not say no if I paid off like a couple of like things for her or like, you know, send some extra money here and there for her, she would not, she would not buy that so I'm excited for that to be what everybody in my family lives from.

VL: Mm hmm. That's amazing. Well congratulations for being that that leader in this new way and this new thought,

CS: Okay, thank you.

VL: Well, like I said before, I feel like you are a fairy godmother to many people including myself You inspire me every day that I see you show up on social media, and I love what you're coming out with I love the ideas of the workshops, I feel like that's something that I really look for is like this product is amazing but I need that deeper connection, I need that next step I need that action so I'm really excited to learn more about your funnel and getting involved with it.

CS: Thank you I receive that and thank you so much for creating the space for people to come and have these conversations, and then also for people to listen and understand that the things that they want that they are not alone, that they are possible to have like things are possible for them to have, and that you don't need to do anything to prove your worth you're already worthy, so go and do the things.

 
Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E115: Mastering Your To Do List
 
 

E115: Mastering Your To Do List

Some of my best methods and practices for productivity PLUS the new techniques I’m using to elevate and upgrade my to do lists!


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[00:38] List Makers Gonna List

  • Do you make to do lists?

  • How do you feel about them, love them? Stress about them? Somewhere in between?

  • My journey with making the most of my to do list and how I became a “master to do-er” 😂

[1:57] The MOST important thing that had to change for me to tap into my energy and productivity.

  • STOP stressing about the list and use that energy to get sh*t done!

[3:39] Starting with a Brain Dump at the beginning of each week

  • Write it all down, get it out of your head

Next: Eliminate + Automate + Delegate

  • Look at what is always on the list, or what has been on the list for a while, can we eliminate, automate, or delegate any of these tasks.

  • Usually when something is on our list for a while it’s because we’re procrastinating - if it’s not getting done by you then it’s probably not going to get done so scratch it off!

[6:13] Organizing the List

  • I like to organize the list based on when the tasks need to get done.

  • Organizing the list by days of the week and it helps me stay on track with my goals and tasks

[7:19] Time Blocking

  • Get to know how long it takes you to do a task

  • You can track how much time you spend on your tasks and activities to learn more about how long all of these things take you

  • Over time you will start to know what works best for you, this gets easier

  • MAKING the time in your schedule by Time Blocking

[9:30] The 3-5 System

  • Sticking with having 3-5 things on your to do list at a time

  • Being more realistic with your time by prioritizing 3-5 things

  • This boosts productivity, and is more sustainable

  • You can even have 1 thing on your list if it is one BIG thing

NEW METHOD… BUT FIRST…. HOW MUCH DO YOU LOVE MY NEW WEBSITE!!!!????? Let me know what you think on instagram @vallavignelife I’d love to hear your feedback and connect with you more 💗

[13:20] Supporting Your To Do List with Self Care

  • Sprinkle in self care that helps support and compliment your energy because it will help you get more done

YES I’M TALKING TO YOU FELLOW WORK-A-HOLICS!

  • I swap “eating my frog” with Self-Care

  • FACT CHECK: “Mark Twain famously said that if the first thing you do in the morning is eat a live frog, you can go through the rest of the day knowing the worst is behind you. Your frog is your worst task, and you should do it first thing in the morning.”

  • Brian Tracy’s BOOK: Eat That Frog

  • Write a list of self care items and schedule them into your week/day

[21:11] In addition to the to-do list I am also create a List of Wins/Achievements

  • What are you proud of?

  • What wins did you have this week?

  • What did you achieve?

[22:32] Challenging myself to get out of my comfort zone more

  • Personal intention is to do this weekly, and I’m tracking it monthly

  • I’m prioritizing the tasks that help me get out of my comfort zone so that I can grow!

How are you leaping, growing, and getting shit done? Share with me on instagram!

 
Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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EntrepreneurshipVal LaVigne
E112: Style as Self Care: the Comfy-Chic Formula
 
 

E112: Style as Self Care: the Comfy-Chic Formula with Sarah Peel

Meet Sarah Peel of Citizenne Style & Home, as she teaches us how to shop our closets, take better care of our clothes, and create self care practices through style in her holistic lifestyle guide: Citizenne At Home…


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[00:26] Valerie LaVigne: You're listening to the women's empowerment podcast, and today I have a very special guest, Sarah Peel on the show. Sarah is a teacher, sustainable fashion educator stylist and advocate for healthy and creative living from 2009 to 2018, she worked with fashion takes action doing whatever needed to get done to run a small but nimble social enterprise, connecting sustainability, human rights, and the fashion industry. Her main joy was creating curriculum, teaching and managing a team of workshop leaders who delivered the my close my world program to over 9000 grade four to 12 students in the Greater Toronto Area. During that time she took a personal interest in learning, studying skills that could help other women bridge the gap between creative self expression, and the perceived notion that a sustainable wardrobe could not be stylish. In 2017 she co founded citizens' with another stylist and personal life coach. So it is its primary focus is to inspire women to become an uprising of everyday influencers for good using their own closet and authentic self expression style is therefore not just an end result, but also a powerful tool to transform lives society and the planet in in a hopeful direction. So doesn't focuses on creating resources, programs, and community to help them and explore personal style, alongside building an ethical and sustainable wardrobe.

Sarah thank you so much for joining me today on the women's empowerment show. It's an absolute pleasure to have you on the podcast.


Sarah Peel: Thank you so much for having me as a guest, I know that many of your episodes. It was not usual for you to have guests so I feel really honored to be here, and also just want to congratulate you on your 20,000 downloads of the podcast that is super exciting, and a real testament to the work that you're doing.


VL: Thank you so much, the recognition means a lot I remember that oh we're almost at 20,000 downloads to my boyfriend he goes. So what do you get for that like an award.


SP: Actually, just validation from the outside world.


[2:42] VL: Exactly. As I talked about it a lot, having a podcast is, it can be a little bit isolating especially when you don't have a lot of guests on the show you're just talking into a microphone you're hoping people are listening and downloading and to see the numbers grow it's been it's been quite an honor and I'm very proud of the work that we're doing and I'm excited to have more people like you on the show I'm honestly I've been really looking forward to this conversation because I know you and I have really similar passions, about style about the environment, so I'm excited to get into some of the methods and methods that you share.

And one of the themes actually that you advocate on is how you're using style as self care, this is something that I'm really excited to learn more about can you tell us more about what this means.


[3:36] SP: Well often I think we've been programmed to think of style as something we do to keep up with trends to look a certain way, but especially now, and in context, you know for future listeners of this podcast. We are in the middle of probably a second wave of the covid 19 pandemic and people are what I noticed as of the spring is that people started to talk about dressing in a very different way. And I had already had this practice of prepping my wardrobe. The night before, and even a week in advance so that it could be part of a healthy.

Simple morning routine that made me feel vital and ready for the day. So that I wasn't spending a lot of time stressing about what I was going to wear and going through three different outfits and then ending up feeling like as I left the house flexed and rushed. So I already had that practice of dressing as part of a routine, as a way of getting myself out the door in a peaceful mindset and ready to face the day. But when the pandemic hit and we were at home.

There was a shift it was less of like.

It was everything was about comfort. And, I mean, I went through this the first two weeks where it was hardly really getting dressed and I felt terrible. And I was like, you know, I think that getting dressed, even though you're not leaving the house is still really important. So, what people need is comfort.

Surely we have more options than our pajama bottoms yoga pants leggings and slippers. Surely there is in our closets where there's like 80% of what we don't wear. Surely there are other options in there that could be considered comfortable and would help us to feel still like we feel like we had some variety and some pizzazz which I would call chic and so I've developed a system a formula for starting the day called the comfy chic form.

And really style is at the core of this daily routine, but it's about more than just getting dressed. And so this is how it goes. It's very simple.

Get up, whenever whenever you do get up. Not everybody gets it I'm an I'm a more of an early morning person so I get up.

But now when people are working from home. Sometimes kids are at home. And so your day has to be really early and other times you're a single person or you just have one other person you're living with. So you could be getting a Petunia regardless. When you get up and you're starting your day. Move.

So, trigger your body to get the blood flowing, breathe, that as the basis is starting to make you feel comfy, to feel good in your skin, because that's the best the best first first layer of your of your outfit is feeling good in your body. So move.

Doesn't have to be long, it could be like 20 minutes have something, meditate or pray. So that's the mindset and also just soul care as well. And then get dressed enough comfy basically oh no groom yourself, basic, you do not have to have full makeup, although sometimes that's depending on who you are, that could be a form of self care maybe that just makes you feel good. I know that often putting on a bright lipstick is a pop of color, helps me feel good, but just wash at very basic level, do something with your hair, wash your face.

Just to create because even, you know the early days of the lockdown people just kind of like gave up taking care of themselves in that way so groom yourself, basic put on a comfy base layer. And I'm encouraging people to think about comfy.

And in a different kind of way. Think about all the things that you have in your before virus closet that are natural fibers that fit in well that you don't they don't make you feel pinched that you can move around in that flow and put those on.

And then chic it up somewhere.

And the the idea around being chic is not extremely motivated at all by trends or anything it's like what brings you joy. Is it colorful scarf. Is it a new way of doing your hair because you're really tired of being at home and you need some variety.

Like, this is the perfect time to play. You're not leaving the home. So you want to do something really like you want to do, Princess Leia ones. Go ahead. Like, there's no one to laugh at you just see if you like it and actually this could be in time to actually play with your clothes in a way that you've never done before because you've been very concerned about what other people would think.

And you lack the confidence to mix patterns or, you know, stack jewelry. And this is a time to kind of play with it, and build your confidence in that.

So that's that's the basic formula. Move, meditate or pray. Take care of your, your appearance, some basic grooming healthy base layer and then shake it up.

And I actually found that as I was doing this and I was trying to. Also I was starting to write about what the process was so we're being very mad about company chic routine.

I found that the days when I didn't do it.

When I was just like, Okay, you know what, I'm just gonna leave this for a couple of days, I would then be like, oh, What's wrong, why do I feel so off. It was like you know what, I didn't get dressed this morning.

It's just reinforcing that this was, I was on to something really good, and I'm not the only one. I'm not the only stylist who's been talking about, you know, COVID sheep or there's, there's a number of different hashtags out there. But yeah, so I really wanted to build on this idea of style as a means of self care and style, not, it's not focused on trends. This is about.

What brings you joy what makes you feel vital. What helps you express who you are. And that really is what style is all about fashion is a trend style is it up showing up as your true self. 

That's a quote. That's a, not an exact quote of Oscar de la Renta.


[11:36] VL: I love this method so much and I remember meeting you around that time during the pandemic when you were like, yes I'm creating this compensation formula. And I thought, this is so brilliant This is exactly what I need because as you're saying these things I feel like a dog with a tail between his legs, I am like, Yeah, I don't think I shaved for a long time I don't think that I got showered but you know it was a very because I had to do a type of thing and then at one point I was like, Do I really have to do it and then I just was wearing sweat pants, same sweater and I just felt really blonde it was I was getting down and it was, things were tough and there was so much, you know that that weirdness and I didn't know what was happening, it was it was a very unpredictable time and, and I started to lose the hair in self care and self a little bit too, to be honest.

But as someone who I, I definitely move so movement was a huge part of my everything myself care my daily routine it has been always, and even I started losing that a little bit too. So, like I'm not I'm not just saying I'm the only person that did this I know a lot of people who, who felt this way, in 2020, but you know you get to this point where you have to admit, and we talked about this a little bit before we record is that you have to admit when things aren't going right and you got to stop doing what you're currently doing if you want to.

But as someone who I, I definitely move so movement was a huge part of my everything myself care my daily routine it has been always, and even I started losing that a little bit too. So, like I'm not I'm not just saying I'm the only person that did this I know a lot of people who, who felt this way, in 2020, but you know you get to this point where you have to admit, and we talked about this a little bit before we record is that you have to admit when things aren't going right and you got to stop doing what you're currently doing if you want to.

I think that I need to be more motivated to do this because I'll get on like a little bit of a train I'm like okay, yeah, I'm going to do this every day. I'm going to feel really good in my body I'm going to I'm going to really intentionally pick my wardrobe.

Tell us how we can motivate ourselves a little bit more in the mornings to do this because I'm an early morning person too, but I also have a lot going on and at the back of my mind and like, I don't really need to get dressed and do anything because I'm working from home today and I'm so busy that I don't want to make the time to help me stay motivated.


[14:23] SP: There is a free download of the comfy chic formula. And also a program that leads to where we, you know, gave like 10 basic tips for putting for integrating the company sheet formula into your life. And then there's actually a template. So, are you a planner, many people are their planners like to write things down in notebooks or apps.I think the act of writing things down sometimes.

I'm an old fashioned girl in this, in this way I think there is something very key about actually writing something down on a piece of paper, they do I think studies show that there's a brain connection, in a way that's different than putting something in your online calendar. So to write things down. Even if it's now, I've been doing this wardrobe prepping for at three years now.

A day or two in advance. As a beginner move and just write down in a notebook. You don't have to download our planner or anything like that it's, it's just a way of stating, or being intentional by writing it down, and then taking a look in your closet for those things are they available to you are they clean Are they ready, like do you need to wash them. Putting them aside, maybe on a hook on the back of your bedroom door so they're available to us so that it's easy to get them.

And so that's something you would do the night before, when you get up in the morning, even if it's a really busy day, especially when we're working from home, or even if we're working outside of the home right now like just having that anchor and anchor point when things are so unpredictable in this world to have something that is predictable. Is it just allows your brain and your body to breathe deeper, because you're not.

You're not adding another layer of decision making.

You know you're cutting down on the decision making, that you have to do at the beginning of the day. And if you are working from home, sometimes the work life balance. Like there is none everything flows into everything else. And then the deep part of the lockdown. You know my husband and I would say is it Wednesday was it Sunday.

Like, what time of the day is it like we were going to bed at 3am and getting up at 10am.

So, having, and we're not really writing. Beyond that right now. But having that those two acres of like at the end of the day, being ready for your day, when you get up in the morning, because, you know, everything is kind of laid out and ready for you. And at the beginning of the day when you wake up to have that anchor of the movement, meditation, basic grooming.


[17:51] VL: Yeah, I think this is so important. I love how you kind of you chunk it down a little bit so when you were first talking about how you plan your week in advance, I'm thinking, oh that's very interesting because I am a planner. I do like to write things down but I think personally for me it's just about taking the time to open the closet and see okay what's going on here, what can I start, what would I like to wear what do I love and maybe I don't wear it all the time.

But it's comfortable and it's chic and it's amazing and, and, I think, Well you've definitely inspired me I feel like this is what I want to do this. After this call.

And that's awesome, awesome things together because. The other thing is I remember this was years ago when I was really into money mindset was you know you want to dress like the future you have the million dollar view, and they ask questions like what the million dollar or with a millionaire salary be in their bed working on their on their business from their computer, and maybe maybe they aren't maybe that's part of the lifestyle that you like but maybe it's not the way you see yourself as a millionaire so that millionaire is at a desk, and so then I was like oh, I'm gonna invest in a desk because I don't want to be that person who is working from their back. And then the other questions were like, what are they wearing Look what do they look like how do they hold themselves, and you really start to be more intentional intentional about what you how you are, how you are presenting yourself every day your gravity tasks, your style. Your attitude and it comes out a lot in your fashion and in your style and what you're wearing. And it's such like it's such an important reminder but we've totally lost this and funny with the lockdown and with all these things happening because it was so easy so easy just to say who cares about it. 


[19:58] SP: Yeah, that's so interesting. How about losing yourself and how the act of dressing for yourself to care for yourself but also with, you know, a creative flair that is uniquely you is self is self reinforcing is reinforcing this is who I am. Especially when the things that we would normally rely on are topsy turvy. This is something you can control.

And there's another yep there's another reason I'm just, I mean of course I've thought of this before but in context of this conversation, it's like yes, there's so many things that you cannot control right now that you have no choice over. This is something that you choose this is something that you can control.


VL: Absolutely. And when we talk about style and self care, and we look at what self care is it's taking the time taking the having the intention to care for yourself because you are basically you're showing up in your worth. So, when you are practicing self care, it's when you feel your best and when you are like is that reinforcing it, you're reinforcing the worth of who you are and what you are and that changes your energy so much. And like I said I have like I personally lost that I lost part of myself because I wasn't caring for myself in this way, I was focusing so much on all of the other moving pieces of my life and I was trying to control things that I couldn't control anymore things that were changing so quickly. And what I should have been doing, you know should have been doing, and don't should on yourself I know right so what I could have been doing like going a little bit more internal and saying, Okay, I'm going to take this time to to really focus on me to focus on what I need and and what my body needs and what my mindset needs the movement the meditation. The grooming, the comfy chic formula that you've created it's, it's the perfect framework for an every day.

Like reset into who we are. And I know that so when I was in grade 11 in high school, I really wanted to be in fashion I want to be in fashion. I love the fashion industry like loved it. And there's a lot of reasons why I didn't get into it, but one of the things that kind of deterred me away from it was, at the time, I was learning about fast fashion and just really didn't agree with the whole thing. And then I kind of was like, Okay, well, what's a sustainable way which wasn't the word at the time, because that's not what I was learning, but I was thinking like, okay, while I was learning about like hemp fabric basically, this is a long time ago. Anyway, and when I looked at people who were, you know, reducing reusing or recycling, that kind of thing. It was just the clothes were ugly and I didn't. It did not resonate with me I did not love the style that was kind of the trending eco friendly fabrics and all the things at the time. However, I was really in to thrifting, and not only was it a really fun way for me to express myself and be very different because that was a huge part of my identity, growing up, especially in high school was, I'm very different from other people and I, I showed that in the way that I dressed. But what was so interesting is that I'd had people come up to me and say wow this is such a cool shirt or such cool sweater where'd you get these jeans. Oh my god, your outfit looks so amazing but it's so unique and different I could never wear something like that. And my answer was always I thrift a bit, and it's all about the confidence. If you're not sure about putting something on. Just be as confident as you possibly can and you are going to rock it and I know that when I'm wearing sweatpants and my hair is I've been a messy bun. I'm not always feeling my most confidence.

But however, that being said, there are times when I am wearing sweat pants and my hair is up


[23:40] SP:  unless you choose it, like, Are you being intentional about like this is this the day to be in my sweatpants and messy back. Yes, instead of it happening to you, by default, you're choosing. Exactly, exactly. And I really let me kind of kind of go back to what you said about how confidence is is like the greatest beauty aid. Like, it doesn't matter if it's on trend in style, or if it clashes somewhat or it's a bit unusual. When you are, let's say you're you're wearing something that's not one of your colors or is, you're not wearing clothes that and there's a. And I do believe in formulas sometimes if they serve you, but I'm referencing like some shopping you're wearing clothes that are appropriate for your body shape.

Let's say you want to wear something that's, you know, not in line with what your body shape is but you love it you love that color or that shape. Use you show up, and you look awesome, because it's the style is coming from something that's inside of you.

Yeah. also great thing about experimenting going back to the opportunity to play with the clothes in your closet. And these times when we're working from home to just experiment and see like how do you feel at the end of the day when you have like worn two patterns together. Did you feel fun, like in. So it could you, you could use this opportunity for those baby steps of building your creative dressing muscles.

Can I talk about what I'm wearing today?


[26:30] VL: Yes, I was just gonna say please tell me what you're wearing because you have this stunning necklace on, and I get it, we have to get a picture of you in this outfit so I can put on the show notes.


SP: So I got dressed according to the company chic formula this morning, and I feel like I'm also wearing a sustainable outfit, but it's not maybe what you might think. So I'm wearing a Navy turtleneck. It's November weather's starting to get cold. But like a turtleneck. This is from a Canadian brand called cotton kayo tm, and all of their cotton is organically grown and Fairtrade from a couple of specific farms in Egypt. So love to can like there's so many great things that like fair trade people are paid a fair wage.It's organic, and it's a Canadian small it's like an independent rent.

And then I have a necklace that is also. It's from just one, it's just another Canadian small Canadian brand. This woman works directly with Ugandan and Kenyan artisans women who have often been in the sex trade and who are learning a skill, and these are paper based beads. I love this necklace because it's like, it's so simple, it's so light but it's like such a statement peace, and for a week. See me like you're gonna have a picture in the show notes, but it's like it's like a breastplate of beads. So it's often something that's in regular rotation in my wardrobe. 

And then I have a pair of jeans on there dark denim skinny jeans. Okay there from the gap. which people wouldn't shock. If you know from the sustainable and ethical point of view but let me tell you, I am buying these because the pair of jeans I had before to death. I needed a new pair of jeans, I'm on a budget. I bought them on sale, but I didn't. I'm not over consuming on sale shopping. I mean I think that's the important part, I do not, I'm over feeling guilt about shopping occasionally and fast fashion brand, I think it's really is the amount that we shop fast fashion. And the fact that we don't care for clothes that we do have, once we buy them.

So the other thing that's kind of sustainable about these is that they didn't fit me when they arrived in the mail. And I took them to my tailor so that she could do something called a waist and seat. It's like a basically a big talk at the back. And these skinny jeans as you. I'm sure all of your listeners have had this experience when you get a pair of skinny jeans, and they within 30 minutes they start falling off your body, because the spandex stretches. Anyways, these pants feel great on me because I don't ever have to hoist them up.

So, I will wear them.

And also, just as a note about gap. gap is one of the brands that is on a path forward sure they're still fast fashion brands, there's so many things that could be doing, way, way, way better, but it's better than shopping forever 21 for example.

And then I have a pair of leopard sneakers on that are just fun, and they are not from a sustainable brand I bought them at winners. They're just fun, and they're One of the things that I put, I wear regularly. When I just you know how Papa fun. I don't have a huge collection of sneakers, but I have this one pair, that's, you know, leopard.


[30:00] VL: Oh my gosh, I've been looking for a cool pair of sneakers like that so I'm gonna have to check winners out. 


Well, Sarah, this has been such a great conversation I want to get into our final segment of the show but before we do let us know where we can find you where we can follow you and how we can support your business.


SP: Well you can find me on Instagram at citizen, Sarah. and you will find my wholehearted life their business, home, cats, all the things that I'm up to, and I'd love to interact with you there. And in the links you'll actually find a way to find citizen at home, and all the other things that I'm working on


VL: very amazing tell us a little bit more about Citizen at Home


[31:02] SP: Citizenne at Home is a life and style program to help us thrive. While we are surviving. Not just surviving but thriving in this pandemic so we have developed skills from the first lockdown, but we're exhausted. We're totally exhausted with this drill. And in some ways we need a little bit of a reminder of what we can do with our habits, which I know you love to talk about our daily routines that just help us feel good in, in our bodies, and I would like to say that the foundations for a great outfit are like feeling good in your skin so the comfy chic formula, which is the foundation to the course but then from there we talk about self care. We think about budgeting, because our, you know in our lives. We've our economy is totally being stressed out. You don't hear my cat running around in the background.

We've been totally our finances have been stretched and stressed. And so having a household budget is a great way to do that. And, of course, clothing budget is a part of that, everything, all the different parts of citizen at home.

Have style at the core. And then we look at, you know, the homes, the places that we are living and how to address clutter and specifically the clutter that's in our closets so that we can enjoy our spaces as if they are like a waste disease. And finally, how to make an impact with your closet during these times it's kind of hard to understand what we have the power to make a difference on especially if we're stuck at home, but your clothes are a great place to start. So kind of looks at all of those components, you can do it in two weeks, or two months. You can do it as a self study, or you can do it with two hours of 30 minutes sessions with me. So that's the VIP coaching aspect.


VL: It sounds like the comfy chic formula we talked about today just expanded into so many more facets of our wardrobe and obviously our home and our lifestyle so I really like how you're bringing in this, this, education, and this quality of a more holistic lifestyle I think this is exactly when we need to get to 2021, I just. It sounds like the coffee chic formula we talked about today just expanded into so many more facets of our wardrobe and obviously our home and our lifestyle so I really like how you're bringing in this, this, education, and this quality of a more holistic lifestyle I think this is exactly when we need to get to 2021, I just.

And I'm kind of cringing right now because I definitely have to take care of. So, this sounds like a great starting point to you. Absolutely. You're right on with the, you know, taking a holistic approach to living with style at the core.

I love that well said so we can find that in your Instagram at the link in the bio I'll also put it in the show notes for today's episode, which will be available at Valerie living life.com, forward slash Sarah with an H. And our final round is our rapid fire round, I Oh, wait.


SP: ait I wanted to mention that I'd like to offer a 30% discount to your listeners, and you can get that using the code EMPOWERMENT30 go to link: Citizenne At Home


RAPID FIRE ROUND

[35:17] What are you currently reading or what is your favourite book?

SP: So, I am reading through whole bunch of fashion magazines, from the fall issues but also the you know the first issues of 2021. Specifically, when Black Lives Matter and the anti racist movement. 

Just rose up during the summer, and continues, really wanted to look at how that was playing out in the fashion scene. Especially, and there's of course a sub conversation happening around the sustainable fashion movement, and just really it's been very interesting to me to find the critique and the way forward. Around representation, not just for black people but black indigenous and people of color so I've been looking at the issues that I've been talking about that. And then for fun, but also it's in satire I am reading a book called self care by Lee Stein. And it's great, it's about a self care influencer who's life just goes wrong.

And it really makes you laugh at the self care industry is this a kind of bougie instagrammable thing, and makes you ask that question like what is true self care. So I've been enjoying reading that.


BOOK: Self Care by Leigh Stein

[37:57] What does empowerment mean to you?

SP: This is a great question. I think that it means for women's specifically the freedom to try things. And to fail, without that crush of not being enough. Well you failed because you're not enough, you're not good enough. And I think there's a lot of pressure on women to be perfect, or to do all the things. And when we're truly empowered by ourselves by the people around us. We have the freedom to just try it and see where it goes. We have the freedom to be curious. when we're truly empowered by ourselves by the people around us. We have the freedom to just try it and see where it goes. We have the freedom to be curious.


[39:06] What do you love most about being a woman?

SP: I'm going to say, the adaptability. And that kind of like endless creativity of the daily practice, you think of women, and what they do to make life happen around them they're usually the people who, organizing, and this is, you know, we share this with men and our partners, for sure. But women are usually the ones who are organizing the home menus social events.

All the things to do with their kids. And that's a creative act. And you have to be incredibly adaptable, as well. And I think, I mean, who's to say I'm not, I'm not gonna say we're better at it than men. But the women that I know are way more flexible and can handle, thinking about four or five different things at a time. Sometimes it gets too much so there's a flip side to this, but I would say that. I think it's really cool how adaptable and creative we are.


[40:49] What are you currently working toward?

SP: There's a lot of things that I'm kind of working towards but i'm gonna i'm going to share the fact that I'm working towards mothering. How to mother, because I have my husband and I have not been able to have kids. And we've also decided, I mean, we did all the things. Many of the things, but we've decided not to pursue adoption, or fostering, and I still have a great desire to mother. And so I'm looking at different ways to fulfill that need.

 
Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E109: Holiday Party! Best of 2020
 
 

E109: Holiday Party! Best of 2020

Hello, welcome back to the women’s empowerment podcast! Today we are having our holiday party!!! And by we I mean me, myself and I hahaha But how cool would it be if we could bring back a few of the guests from 2020 to celebrate the year together? Perhaps next year we can have a collaborative show! Or maybe some of the listeners can pop into the episode! I would love that too!!


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This is our second holiday party and there are a few traditions that we’re going to continue on for the show.

The first is that I always have a holiday beverage when I record. Last year I was drinking a festive kombucha I made. I’m going to link to that episode for you because there are a few tasty recipes I shared.

This year I am drinking a Mistletoe Margarita, and I thought that I made this up but then I realized that other people had this idea too. Here’s the recipe…

Last year’s recipes
www.valerielavignelife.com/59 


MISTLETOE MARGARITA

⅓ Cup Cranberry Juice
2 oz Tequila 
½ oz Lime Juice
1 cup Cubed Ice (more as needed)
Sugared cranberries and fresh mint leaves for garnish 

I like mine on the rocks, but you can blend yours if you like.

  1. Rim the glass using a lime and ground himalyan salt (can also use kosher salt, some like to mix with sugar but I like it salty)

  2. Blended: Pour all ingredients into a blender, blend until smooth

  3. On the Rocks: Add ingredients into a cocktail shaker, shake a few times

  4. Pour into glass and garnish

  5. Drink up! 


Hopefully you’re listening and joining me with a drink. Maybe a morning coffee, or post workout protein shake. Wherever you are, and whatever you’re drinking… Cheers!

[3:06] Now we don’t just drink on this episode… no no no! We also count down the top 5 episodes of the show this year. So let’s start with the fifth most popular episode [5] Episode 94: Natural Tools for Healthy Habits.

This is a great episode! It’s full of helpful tools, additional resources, AND I’m currently updating the freebie to this episode along with the rest of my website which you will all be able to see very soon! Seriously can’t wait for that.

In this episode I share dōTERRA’s Healthy Habit Collection and how to use the products in the kit. From essential oils to quality supplements, I go through each one. I also give you a list of previous episodes that are all about essential oils and how to incorporate them into your lifestyle.

As you probably already know I love oils SO MUCH, and use them daily! On instagram I share a daily diffuser blend, you can find me @vallavignelife 


Today’s diffuser blend is called

“Santa’s Workshop” 
2 drops Wild Orange
2 drops Peppermint
2 drops Cypress
2 drops dōTERRA’s Holiday Joy blend


A few more diffuser blend recipes:

“O Christmas Tree”
2 drops Siberian FIr
2 drops Wild Orange
2 drops Cinnamon Bark

“Winter Wonderland”
3 drops Peppermint 
2 drops Bergamot
1 drop Cypress


[4:58] The fourth most popular episode of the Women’s Empowerment Podcast is actually a bonus episode with one of the special guests from the show. I was totally blown away by this episode and absolutely loved chatting with and learning from this guest. The episode was... [4] BONUS: The Power of Positivity & Building Social Engagement with Ingrid Deon!

Ingrid is such an inspiration and a wealth of knowledge on social media marketing. I met Ingrid this year in a virtual coworking community with Toronto’s Co-Working Space MAKE LEMONADE. We got to know each other through this community and she was one of the first people from this network to apply for a spot on my show and I’m so glad she did.

Okay, and the beginning of this episode I mentioned how cool I thought it would be to have a collective of people at this holiday party, so I decided to try the next best thing and I reached out to Ingrid to see if she could share her TOP 3 SOCIAL MEDIA TIPS for going into 2021! Here’s what she shared…

TIP #1: Make Use of the Available Features that Exist with Social Media

TIP #2: Humanize Your Company

TIP #3: If You’re Not Using LinkedIn Yet - DO IT!


More about Ingrid + Women’s Empowerment Podcast:
http://valerielavignelife.com/ingrid 


[11:38] Okay the third most popular episode of the year is [3] Episode 102: Choosing Courage Over Fear with Tasha Romanelli. Tasha and I also met through MAKE LEMONADE and we kept virtually crossing paths in different workshops and zoom calls over the spring. Then somehow we found out that we lived only 15-ish minutes away from each other and decided to meet for walks. There are some nice paths and trails near where I live and she brought her dog Mala and we would walk for an hour and talk. A few times I said that our conversations would be amazing for the show and it’s too bad we didn’t record them! 

However, we did eventually record an episode together and it was OMazing as Tasha would say! Now if there is one thing I can tell you about Tasha, it’s that she is a FORCE. She is this beaming light of love, kindness, and spiritual power! 

She shows up very authentically in this episode and brings some really powerful and practical tools for choosing courage over fear, and letting your freak out!

I also reached out to Tasha and asked her if she could share a New Year’s Eve Ritual with us. Here’s what she shared…

HELP YOU MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TO LIFE

#1 Create a Personal Totem 

#2 Create a Dream PIllow

#3 Create a Vision Board

energyiseverything.ca


[20:53] Now the second most popular episode came as a BIT of a surprise for me, but it’s absolutely perfect. It’s [2] Episode 92: An Action Plan for How to Be a Morning Person. I shouldn’t be THAT surprised because I get this question a lot and it’s one of the reasons why I created this episode in the first place. 


Now I really broke things down in this episode. I share the incredible benefits of waking up early. Then I go into detail of how to make it real for you. This includes the DO’s and DON’Ts of your alarm clock, and how to take advantage of all your extra time.


This episode also includes a lot of hot tips so that you can be successful in creating a morning routine, and I walk you through the step-by-step process of making an action plan.


Okay, so it’s a pretty value-packed episode… it’s no wonder it’s the second most popular episode this year! If being a morning person is something you’re working toward then I highly recommend starting with this episode. If you’re ready to go deeper with your morning routines, I’d like to invite you into my upcoming Healthy Habit Workshop: Morning Routines on Wednesday February 3rd, 2021.


You can find the details for this online workshop at WWW.VALERIELAVIGNELIFE.COM/WORKSHOP My goal for you for this workshop is to support you with getting clear and creating an action plan for your morning routine. It’s a virtual group workshop where I will teach you the best ways to build your mornings, plus there’s an opportunity at the end of the workshop to ask questions and get more support that is specific to your goal(s).


If you’re listening to this workshop past the workshop date, no worries! I am hosting healthy habits workshops on the first wednesday every month for 2021 and each month has a new topic! I hope to see you there! You can visit the show notes page to learn more at the workshops page at WWW.VALERIELAVIGNELIFE.COM/WORKSHOP


Now last year I had a list of 21 questions that I wanted to answer every year as a time capsule memory for fun, but this year I’ve decided that it’s not really beneficial to the show. So I will most definitely be doing the 21 questions in my own journaling practice, and they’re very interesting, especially if you’re looking back on them, so I will share the 21 questions with you this year in the show notes page. They are fun, personality-quiz type of questions and it’s pretty interesting to re-listen, or re-read to your own advice sometimes. 

www.valerielavignelife.com/59 < List of Questions


[24:26] And now… our top episode of 2020 was… [1] Episode 81: 5 Tips for Positive Self-Talk this episode was published in the late spring of this year. To be honest, I’m not entirely surprised by this. We’ve all had a HUGE year and this episode more than ever is so flippin important.

 
Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E108: 8 Questions to You MUST Ask Before Planning 2021
 
 

E108: 8 Questions to You MUST Ask Before Planning 2021

Going through eight important questions we need to be asking before making any decisions to plan for the new year. We’re breaking down what worked, and what didn’t to make for a more successful 2021!


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[00:25] Hey there, welcome back to the Women’s Empowerment Podcast! It’s been a whole year since we had our business ritual: end of year review episode and I’m not even really sure how to even describe this last year for myself - I’m sure you can relate - as we all can: 2020 was a bit of a shit show.

Nonetheless! We can still complete our End of Year Review and this year I have eight questions to help prepare you for the upcoming year.

Now last year I took you through a very thorough business ritual.
Episode #57: Business Ritual: End of Year Review
www.valerielavignelife.com/57

This is a three part ritual that takes you deep into your business analytics and really helps you create the plan for the following year. It’s a very specific ritual that I use and I highly recommend, especially if you’re looking at growing and evolving your business, as well as creating a clear business strategy. It’s so great if you started something new this year and you want to really understand how it performed with your audience. Or if you’re looking for the next step and you aren’t sure what that is, it will help you better understand where to put your energy moving forward.

It does take some time, so please give yourself the proper day to do the work and really set yourself up for success. It’s worth it.

Today’s episode is more of a basic - yet important - piece to the full ritual. It’s all about eight key questions to ask yourself before planning the new year. These questions are not in last year’s ritual, but they are essentially the summary of the deeper more specific questions.

With that being said, you can ask these eight questions about your business as a whole, and/or you can ask these questions for each part of your business.

For example, for myself, I have multiple streams of income and I produce different things for each of these income streams. I can then ask the same eight questions for each income stream and I will better understand each section of my business. This can help me strategize each of the areas.

Okay, let’s get to the questions shall we!?


[3:27] QUESTION NUMBER ONE: 

What business mindset practice has been working for you so far?

I love this question because the answer usually jumps out at you really fast. And sometimes that answer is: “I don’t have a mindset practice.” Which means your starting point is going to be: choosing a mindset practice! YAY! 

Now I did say “business” however you can change this to anything really. It can be:

  • Health and wellness mindset

  • Money mindset

  • Relationship mindset

  • Positive mindset

  • And so on

I will link to a few previous mindset episodes in the show notes page for you to give you some extra ideas and resources. 

Episode #101: Modern Magic: Spell Casting
Episode #98: Five Ways to Nourish Your Relationship with Money
Episode #97: Overcoming Impostor Syndrome
Episode #91: These 3 Mistakes are Holding us Back from our Creativity
Episode #86: Three Keys to Creating Space to Attract More abundance
Episode #81: Five Tips for Positive Self Talk
Episode #71: Using Your Intuition and the Third Eye Chakra
Episode #69: What 365 Days of Gratitude Taught Me
Episode #67: Communicating with Power
Episode #66: Elevate Your Life by Living with Intention
Episode #63: How to Fail & Make Happiness Your Compass
Episode #53: How to Build Your Confidence Tool Kit
Episode #48: What to Do When Fear Shows Up
Episode #47: How to Shift from Resistance to Resilience 
Episode #44: This Judgment Detox will Blow Your Mind
Episode #39: Becoming the Best Version of Yourself
Episode #34: Seven things you Must Do when Creating HEalthy boundaries
Episode #28: Know Your Worth
Episode #07: Mastering Transitions
Episode #04: Your Mindset is a Habit

I think the list is 20 different episodes. So if you’re looking for some ideas, read through the episode titles and listen to the one that speaks to you the most. You don’t want to overwhelm yourself with all the different things.

Some of my mindset practices this year have been my daily intention setting practice. I start every morning with a coffee ritual. I have a very specific way of making and drinking my coffee. Part of the ritual is stirring the coffee counter-clockwise to release any negative, stale, or unhelpful emotions or feelings, followed by stirring in my intention for the day. This really helps me set the tone for the day.

Other mindset practices I’ve used in my past for business and life are:

  • Meditation

  • Gratitude journal

  • Creating my own content BEFORE consuming other people’s content

  • Honouring boundaries around my phone/computer/social media/work hours

  • Affirmations

Each of these practices have served me and my business and really helped me stay on track with my goals and strategy. 

If you’re starting a new strategy here are my 4 tips for beginning

TIP #1: Choose one strategy that you are most drawn to.

TIP #2: Intuitively schedule it into your calendar. You’ll know when to do this practice - and you can always adjust it later

TIP #3: Give yourself some time to really implement and make this practice a habit; keep going if you skip a day; just reset. I recommend trying it out for three months to really see if it’s working for you. If you’re still doing it three months from now, you’ll know whether or not it’s helpful or hurtful and serving your goals/strategy

TIP #4: Have a back-up practice. If by day 7 you’re dreading your mindset practice, ditch it and try practice B. Maybe the whole meditation in the morning was an alluring practice that other mentors thrived with, but it wasn’t your bag. Perhaps there is a different meditation practice or mindfulness practice you can try that suits you better.



[7:58] QUESTION NUMBER TWO:

What mindset practice hasn’t been working? 

What this question is discovering is: What are your blocks/limiting beliefs? What’s holding you back right now?

Think about anything that you have had on your to do list for a long time, or your goals/dreams list. What isn’t getting done? What isn’t coming to reality? What limiting belief is coming up for you?

The answer to these questions will reveal where your mindset strategy can really evolve. Is it a mindset block? Is it impostor syndrome? Are you taking on too much and you need support?

When you have the answer, the next step is clear. Perhaps you will invest in a money mindset coach? Maybe you’ll hire a VA to help you with your long list of to-do’s. Maybe you need to reevaluate your work-life boundaries and log off social media more often. Perhaps you’ll join a network of entrepreneurs who can relate to you and hold you accountable for your practices. 


There are a lot of solutions and ideas, all you have to do is pin-point the block so that you can choose and take action on the best solution for you.

Here’s where you might get stuck!

You might notice you have more than one block. See if these blocks have any similarities. For example “I’m afraid of success” is similar to “I can’t make more money” and they have to do with self-worth. 

If you’re really struggling with understanding your mindset and you want to master your mindset practice, I have a Make a Habit Mentorship program that takes you from overwhelmed and frustrated to Clear and Empowered. It’s a four week mentorship with weekly calls. You can get all the details for this offering at WWW.VALERIELAVIGNELIFE.COM/MENTORSHIP, and you can also find me on instagram @vallavignelife if you have any questions about the mentorship program.


[10:28] QUESTION NUMBER THREE:

What community growth worked? What strategy produced the best results: followers + engagement + networking + clients +  strategies + etc. 

Of all the emails you send out, all the content you produce, all the DMs you send out, what helped you build your following, your engagement, your audience, and your paying clients?

What I like to do for this question is write out all the ways I grow my community and rank each of them from best to least. This is also another question that you can really dive deep into. You can choose exactly which analytics you’d like to review. I like to break this down for each area of my business, as well as each strategy.

For example:

Exhale Pilates Studio
Private Virtual Classes 
Essential Oil Customers 
Healthy Habits Workshops
Mentorship Clients

Since these areas of business are very different, I also have different strategies for them. I use my podcast to build my online business, and I use other social media strategies and partnerships with local businesses to grow the physical brick and mortar studio I have. The strategies are different because the ideal customers are different!

Speaking of ideal customers. If you’re not sure what brought people to you, ASK YOUR AUDIENCE! Do a survey or a poll in your social or with you email list: How did you hear about us? Yep, it’s really that simple lol



[12:43] QUESTION NUMBER FOUR:

Which community growth techniques DIDN’T WORK? 

Reviewing your insights and ranking your strategies will clarify the answer to this question right away. You can also look at where you put in lots of work, but not a lot of results came from it.


I did this specifically with my podcast when I first started the show and it has helped me grow the Women’s Empowerment Podcast to what it is today.

I used to have a weekly live IG and FB show, which I converted into an audio podcast and also a youtube video. The insights and analytics showed me that the podcast was EXPLODING and the youtube and IG lives were not as powerful.

I eliminated the videos and kept the audio + show notes of the show and I haven’t looked back. The podcast is booming and I have more time to produce quality episodes and also invite guests onto the show instead of spending the time working on videos that weren't converting.

Where can you adjust or remove certain investments in time or money and better use your resources and energy for things that ARE working!?


[15:32] QUESTION NUMBER FIVE:

Which “nourishing techniques” really worked; anything where you’re providing value? 

Nourishing techniques are your added value. Things like freebies, podcast episodes, specific instagram posts, blog posts, IGTV, Youtube. 

Look at your stats and insights, they are so valuable for business owners and entrepreneurs because they really tell us what’s working and what isn’t. The biggest mistake entrepreneurs make is NOT reviewing what we’ve done in the past and this really saves us from making the same mistakes or not growing the things that have ALREADY worked! I’ve done this myself which is why I stress it to other people haha 

So one of the things that I’m starting to move away from is this super aesthetic instagram feed. I know someone just rolled their eyes at me but hear me out! The motivational quotes on my instagram always convert really well to saves and shares and sometimes comments that create conversation with others. This is great and means engagement is high SUPER!


I also get A LOT of compliments from people telling me how much they love my feed and a lot of questions on how I do this. This also creates meaningful conversations and engagement in a slightly different way, because it’s usually in the DM’s which are GOLD in the world of social media marketing. 

So now, I’m strategizing how I can create the valuable content and still make it look pretty - A LOT HARDER THAN IT SEEMS my friends lol

One thing I have started doing in my online business is I changed up my email structure and I’ve gotten some great immediate feedback from making it more aesthetic and also offer multiple pieces of value for people following along. 

Remember your audience has A LOT of the answers that you’re looking for because they are the people who are following, consuming, and engaging with your business. They are the people you are trying to convert. Sometimes growth is about deepening connection with the people you currently serve and not how to 10x your social media following. 

Ask your audience THIS or THAT questions to help you understand what they love about your content and learn how you can do better.


[22:34] QUESTION NUMBER SIX:

What didn’t work, what didn’t make much impact? 

Again, really evaluate the “numbers” and poll the audience, review the insights. These are going to tell you straight up what isn’t working. I pulled up some of my instagram post insights and what I learned was that if I wasn’t in the post it didn’t do the best. This is overall interactions.

But we all know, when it comes to instagram, likes don’t have the same value/impact as saves + shares.

So when I look at the number of saves: some of my posts with the lowest number of comments and likes have the most saves. These are my quote boxes/ text posts/ carousels/ recipes.

Looking at the analytics will tell you what’s working, what isn’t and will also help you get clear on your next moves/what your intentions are.

Do you want people to be inspired by your content and let it be something that looks really good?

Do you want your audience to learn and take action on your content?

Learn about what they already do to see what kind of audience you have and how you can build on it. This is where the GOAL is also helpful. Have clarity so you can see which insights are the best for you to look at instead of getting caught up in all the numbers. 

[24:26] QUESTION NUMBER SEVEN:

What sales techniques worked? 

Not all of the freebies and content you’re creating is converting into sales. However there are some specific things we do to launch and sell.

Did the live videos get people on the phone with you? Is your sales page converting? Did you host any webinars or challenges; how did they convert into sales?

Most of my webinars convert into sales. Specifically my LIVE webinars. However, this month I hosted my first Healthy Habits workshop and I didn’t launch it on a webinar. Instead I shared it in the stories and in my posts.

I used instagram stories to explain and launch. I also did a giveaway celebrating over 20 000 downloads of the podcast. And gave a spot away in the workshop AND mentorship program. I slid into dm’s and replied to people's comments and got really active and engaged on social media and sold 7/10 spots I opened up for the first workshop.

I wasn’t JUST responding like I normally do, I was opening up conversations about the topic I was speaking to and asking questions and really creating this dialogue with my audience. I mixed that in with face-to-camera stories, to examples of how I incorporate the lessons into my own life, and I publicly answered questions about the workshop.

To build excitement I also welcomed each person into the workshop as people started to join and had a post it of their name on my wall as a way to say welcome and thank you! 

I also created a HIGHLIGHT on my page which was new where anyone could see the content and posts related to the workshop to get more information. 

I also followed up with anyone who said they were interested the day before and got a last minute sign up because of it. 

PLUS… AFTER the workshop I went on face-to-camera and said thank you again and talked about how much fun and how successful it was ANDDD I shared the screenshots of the feedback I got from the people who were in the workshop b/c it was so positive and helpful for them.

This sounds like A LOT of work, and even though, yes, I did do a lot. I could have honestly done more. 

My strategy wasn’t crystal clear, I actually did this more intuitively and almost every day I was sharing something to do with the topic of the workshop whether the CTA was to sign up or not. 

For example I shared my morning coffee ritual and the CTA was “what’s your morning beverage ritual?” and that opened up a conversation about rituals and the workshop was called “HEALTHY HABITS: RITUALS & TRANSITIONS”

I made two posts back to back. One explaining transitions, the other explaining rituals and the CTA was to get people to sign up for the workshop.

I did a throwback of a previous podcast episode about Mastering Transitions and this also was to open up a convo around transitions and then get into the DMs with people.

You get the point. Right?

[30:28] Okay QUESTION NUMBER EIGHT:

Which techniques did not work? 

Social media wasn’t the only thing I did to share my workshop, but it was definitely the most successful. I also put more energy into it. The other techniques were not as successful and that’s okay because now I know what to put more effort into. 

It is totally fine to test things in your business, I encourage it! However, don’t re-do things that didn’t work in the past. 

It’s also important to create boundaries to saying “no” to other people. I have a lot of entrepreneur friends in my network who were offering free 30 minute calls five days a week. It was a lot. Not all the calls converted and the time took them away from other parts of their business. So now they only offer the time slots on 1-2 days a week, and also only to certain people using a private link.

If it’s not working for you let it go, and lean into the things that did work!

That is a wrap on our eight questions you MUST ask before planning 2021! I hope you enjoyed it!! Let’s continue this conversation on instagram! Find me @vallavignelife

 
Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E107: The Holidays are the Boundaries Olympics
 
 

E107: The Holidays are the Boundaries Olympics with Bryn Bamber

Chatting with Bryn Bamber today, who is a mental health professional helping heart centred creative healers help more people and more make more money by healing childhood, shit…


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[00:25] Valerie LaVigne: You're listening to the women's empowerment podcast today. I'm very excited to welcome Bryn to the show. Bryn is a mental health professional helping heart centered creative healers help more people and more make more money by healing childhood, shit. I love that it is such a great elevator pitch. So join me in welcoming Bryn to the show. Welcome.

Bryn Bamber: Thank you so much for having me. I'm excited to chat. 

VL: Yeah, I'm excited to chat with you too. It's been a little while since we've since we've connected so can you tell us a little bit about how you got to be this mental health professional and how you like to be helping people like you do.

[1:16] BB: So I come to mental health, from my own mental health struggles. I'm one of those. Um, I suffered from pretty severe anxiety, and I wasn't even aware but when I was younger, I just thought I was stressed and everyone was stressed, and I had kind of normalized my reality which is a coping mechanism. And so I just didn't, I didn't realize how high my anxiety was at the time. But I started to get some clues when I was 21, years old, and I burnt out of my first job ever so I graduated from university, I got a job I got business cards. I bought a blazer. And in a lot of ways that job was my dream job and I was really excited about it. And what happened was, I made a couple of medium sized mistakes, which happen in any job, but I was really beating myself up about them and I wasn't able to recover. So I went kind of like, pretty deep into perfectionism. I would like editing one email for a whole week, like editing re editing, and eventually got to a point where, I couldn't really do the work, so I burnt out I quit.

And I knew I couldn't return to that like I couldn't just go to a job board and look for another job because I would just look for the exact same job but I really liked the work that I was doing. But I, um, yeah I knew I needed to kind of switch things up so I ended up moving to an ashram yoga retreat and study center. I initially went for a month I extended extended extended ended up living there for two years studying yoga and meditation for two years. Me yoga teacher and then was able to return to the workforce with new tools. The second kind of pivotal moment in my journey was when I was 29, I had started this Mental Health Training Program in core energetics. And as in a class on early childhood trauma.


And I, in that class realized I had all the symptoms. All the symptoms of someone who has suppressed childhood trauma and kind of started to realize that like this was me. So my anxiety started to make a little bit more sense of where it was coming from. And also that awareness allowed me to start to heal it, because before that I didn't really know that I had it. So, um, I finished that training program, and it was pretty life changing for me core energetics was pretty life changing for me at reducing my anxiety, so I'm super passionate about it. Super excited to talk to all your listeners and start to get them the support they need. If they struggle with anxiety.

[4:39] VL: Thank you so much for sharing that story, I didn't realize you're at the ashram for two years, you must have come away with lots of incredible tools. I know I've spent my fair share of time not that much time in yoga institutes and different health care facilities so that's really, really incredible. The, there's so many questions I have.


And I guess I want to tie it all back since we're heading into the holiday season to anxiety around the holidays if we could focus on that a little bit today. What are some of the surface signs, what are some of the signs of feeling anxious or maybe the signs, leading up to burn out during this time of year.


BB: Yeah so everyone's a little bit different and it's important to start to notice yourself and notice what's coming up for you. But anxiety is basically a vibration in the body. So for some people it's like their tasks, some people their neck and shoulders get really sore they're like TMJ flares up when they have anxiety, but basically you don't feel good and for me it's kind of like a high frequency. Um, jittery, kind of feeling in terms of burnout.


I think signs are, you know, not wanting to get out of bed in the morning feeling like a sense of dread about what you have planned for the day. Just feeling tired and sometimes it's.

You're tired and even though it's like things that you would like to do you feel kind of like tired. Another big example is the five of your emotional reactions. So one of the things to talk about in mental health is having a right sized reaction. So, I mean, you obviously see this when someone gets cut off in traffic and they like lose their shit.

When it's like, okay, someone cut you off in traffic. Yes, that's rude, but you don't need to like scream and holler at them. So, if, um, you know, you come home from work, and someone took your parking space, and you burst into tears, or, you know, you're just having a higher, like it's like, of course, if a member of your family passes away and you burst into tears, or you're devastated that's the right size but the big events, but when it's something smaller like, you know, you get into your car and the engine won't start, and you start to panic. It's like, that's a little bit of a too big of a reaction for what's happening so that's definitely a key sign in burnout.

[7:46] VL: I can definitely relate to both of those feelings that generate an anxious, kind of anxiety piece, but also the burnout piece and how they are closely related but they are very different.

I don't think that I'm trying to think about my own experiences right now and how that anxiety kind of shows up for me, and I would agree with the jitters on my side. So, let's, let's focus a little bit more on the anxiety piece. Tell us, when you start to feel this way when we started to notice the signs in our own body, we're not feeling great. Were getting the jitters or feeling that vibrational frequency in our bodies, what can we do?

BB: So, when you're feeling anxiety you're starting to go into fight or flight right your nervous system is kind of ramping up and either flight, it's great. If there is a bear. And that bears chasing you. It's great in these situations that are like high risk and you actually do need to run away, or you need to fight.

Because the blood all goes through your lens and your heartbeat goes faster. And you stop digesting and you stop. If you have any like wounds or illnesses that all you stop healing, because all the energy is going to fight. Tiger or run away.

If there's not a tiger in the room. It's really not helpful, because you get like you're very single pointed focus right you're just like, get away from the tiger. You aren't in your creative brain you are. Problem Solving blank brain. And again, you're not digesting so sometimes if you have digestive issues, it can be related to like being in the fight or flight mode too often. You're not healing if you have a cold your immune system is going to be at top performance which I mean, even more important than ever this year that you try to keep our immune systems, going. So, what you want to do is, the thing is your brain thinks there's a tiger. The reason that you're having this nervous system response is because, you know, for me, sometimes it's an email right like I get an email and it has a certain tone.

And I go into fight or flight, I'm like, Oh, did I do something wrong is this person mad at me, blah blah blah. Um, so what you want to do is you want to bring your nervous system, back to the present moment where there is no tiger.

So some of the things you can do, are just look around, look like, Listen, say, oh, there's a lamp. So there's a window, there's a guitar hanging on my wall in my room here. So you're looking around and what you're doing is you're bringing yourself back to the present moment and you're basically check if there's a tiger. 

Look around. And as you start to look around, you can start to listen what sounds Do you hear are they dangerous sounds you can touch different materials, you know like, I'm touching my sweater here.

You can touch your desk whatever is around you but you're, what you're doing is you're bringing your nervous system back into the present moment. Where, where there is no tiger, if there is a tiger, you want to invite. But that's kind of some of the first steps.

[11:47] VL: Yeah, it's important to have that fight or flight mode when something's life threatening. And we actually chatted about this in a previous episode about finding where you are and becoming more present. And right away realizing that hey there isn't a tiger in the room there isn't a bear in the room, and taking that breath and bringing yourself back to the moment. So, let's say that we catch ourselves in this fight or flight mode feeling with this anxious vibration. They say okay, there's no tiger. There's no Tiger I'm okay. But what if this keeps happening to us what if we keep experiencing this anxiety, how do we go from being that anxious person to being a little bit more calm, on a day to day basis.

BB: So I wouldn't say there's kind of two here. Sometimes, or I guess probably always. Um, if you're a nervous system is a type of nervous system that sends a lot of time in fight or flight there's probably a reason. There's probably some challenging experience that you went through that kind of had a big impact. And so sometimes what's happening when we're going to fight or flight is we're going back our nervous system is going back to that incident. It was challenging for us.

So, it's important to explore the kind of the root cause. Um, I know for me, one of the root causes of anxiety was actually suppressed anger. So, I grew up in a household where anger wasn't allowed passive aggressiveness was allowed like direct anger was not good, so I just put my anger away. And so, a lot of my anxiety, ended up being me being angry, but holding in it.

So, one of, honestly, I think. I don't know if I'm gonna say it's the biggest healing thing that happened to me around my anxiety, but it might be is getting back in touch with my anger and starting to express that starting to send set half healthy boundaries. And so, if you are someone who is a people pleaser and conflict avoidant. This might be you. And part of your healing might be starting to set healthier boundaries because sometimes that anxiety is because, you know, guess there is no Tiger but something is going wrong someone's taking advantage of you, or you're doing something that's training you and, as you start to set those healthy boundaries, it can really help. The other part of it is getting out of fight or flight is like building a muscle. It takes practice, it takes reps. It's like going to the gym. The gym of coming back into a grounded space. And, you know, I gave you some examples of things that can help. And as you practice, you might find other things that you can help that can help you. For me, one of my big triggers is being late.

And so I would often end up on the subway or on a bus, and I, I went to sleep, and my nervous system is at a 100, which is not the right size reaction.

Um, but one of the things that I found just through trying to figure it out, was, if I could find someone, and this is like, I'm slightly embarrassed to say this but it was helpful for me so I'm gonna be embarrassed.

If I could find someone on the bus or the subway, that I was attracted to it would help me come into the present moment, because I would be with that person I'd be like, wow, they're super good looking. and it would bring me out of wherever my brain was, and it would bring me back into them here and now. No one ever taught me that it was just literally, out of, you know, part desperation part, trying to heal that I started to, you know, I guess one thing I want to say is like, even if your listeners start to recognize when your anxiety is peaking like that's a win because awareness is huge. And then once you get aware, then you can start to try these different techniques of looking around that kind of thing. 

Another technique that I find super helpful is exercise, get, like, gets me back into my body back into the present moment. Do I want to exercise when I'm anxious, hell no. Like hard to convince my brain. When I'm in the anxiety, it's hard for me to do anything other than be worried about being late. In that example. But, if I can just like put on a song and dance, or to a wall, sit at the at the wall, like all of these things are going to help. So, it is a commitment, it is a practice. It's not like you do this once, and it's gone and I wish I had a magic pill for all your listeners, but the way that I got through it was like hot hard fought it was like blood sweat and tears to be more grounded. But it's so worth it. Like, I think my anxiety. I think I used to be anxious about 90% of the time and now I'm anxious about 30% of the time. So I have so much of my life back. I have so many hours, where I get to be relaxed or joyful or playful. And so, yes, it is hard work, but to me it's totally worth it.

[18:30] VL: Absolutely. I know exactly how that feels when you're just caught up in your anxiety and a lot of the examples you shared in a lot of the tools you just shared were life on the common the common similarity between them all was that they're all very physical. So whether you're looking for something or you're trying to touch something or you're going to do a physical activity and exercise. It's that earth energy that like grounding you down. 

Yeah, that heaviness of life again bringing myself back here where that jittery anxious feeling is very like whoa like way up, you feel like you're floating or running or doing you're running from the tiger, whereas everything else is a little bit more grounding. And I like when you use the word digest, so it's like you can't digest things we think this is a really interesting part about with, with my anxiety journey anyway that I've been really listening to how other people describe how they're feeling I listened to how people describe their anxiety. And so when they say things like, I feel frozen or, I'm having trouble, like, like because physically you can't look you can't heal you can't digest food but it's interesting to hear what people come up with, because those are huge signs, about what your body is actually going through. So when you're getting an overload of information you say like like oh my gosh this is too much, I can't adjust it also look at what your, your digestive system is going through. Are you backed up in your digestive system. Do you have too much on your plate. Are you, you know what I mean like those every, everyone thinks that they're just like, oh they're phrases, but they're more than that they're information from your body. So, it's, yeah, it's just those little things I've been kind of picking up as you as you were describing them. 

I do want to circle back to healthy boundaries, though, because this is so important, especially around this time of year, with getting more invitations to parties and, you know, thinking that we have to have a gift for every single person that we know. So let's talk a little bit more about healthy boundaries around the holidays, what are some of your, your key tips and and teachings.


[20:24] BB: Yeah, so I think the first step is, look at why don't you set, healthy boundaries. If you're a people pleaser. Are you worried about what your friends are gonna think some of my clients will say something like, oh, but I love everything I do, but I'm just like, totally dead at the end of the day, but everything I'm doing I love, and it's like too much of a good thing kind of like too much on your plate. Like you were just saying is, isn't healthy. And so, it's important to start to look at what stopped, what has historically stopped you from setting healthy boundaries because you can go in with like the rah rah I'm going to set healthy boundaries, but if you're still telling yourself these stories.

And since this is the women's empowerment podcast. I think it's important to say like women are conditioned, not to set healthy boundaries. For me, the word bitch is a woman who has boundaries. A woman who says no. It's like a good thing, but we're socialized to think that we shouldn't have boundaries we shouldn't take care of everyone we should be giving we should be compassionate, and all of these things and one of my favorite quotes ever is you can be a good person, with a kind heart, and still say no.

And the quote is unknown I've googled I've tried to find who who it's attributed to if anyone knows like seriously DM me on Instagram I want to know who wrote, who wrote that quote. But, um, yeah, it's, it's starting to realize like all of the unpaid labor that women often end up doing. So just thinking about the holidays like party planning, who's cooking. It was buying the gifts.

Um, if you're in a heterosexual relationship is it balanced, or are you doing more of the work. And so I think that's kind of the first part of almost the education piece around, like, why don't we, why don't women historically saying no as much why don't we have, as healthy boundaries. Typically, and starting to unpack that.

The next part, I would say, is to, again, like it's the same principle as the anxiety, in the sense that you're building a new muscle.

Or maybe you've been building it for a while. I'm sure some of your listeners have been working on their boundaries. But there's still room for improvement.

So again, taking baby steps taking a two pound weight, if that's where you're at just sending a mini like a mini boundary like. For me, I started setting healthy boundaries.

One of my healthy boundaries was like calling into work sick when I was actually sick. I would like feel guilty about calling in sick. When I was sick. And so, like that, maybe doesn't even seem like a boundary but for me at that stage it was so that's where I had to start. Um, you can do them orally, you can do them over text. I think sometimes people are like, I didn't do it in the moment. I didn't say it in the moment I lost my chance, and it's like, Yes, I think the goal for all of us is to like have perfectly beautiful boundaries in the moment we say exactly what we need and exactly what we're not okay with, but that doesn't.

You know, we make mistakes, we're not perfect. And so you can, you know, say yes to something, and then the next day. Text Your friend and say you know what I thought about it and I am not going to be able to make the pie, or I'm not going to be able to make it at all or, you know what, why don't we just schedule some one on one time with you guys and in January whatever kind of situation is going to be helpful for you. And the other thing like, I want to say is, you're going to make mistake. Sometimes you're going to set a boundary that's too big, it's gigantic. Sometimes you're going to set a boundary that's too small. And that's okay. That's part of building these healthy boundary muscles it's like the same with going to the gym if you have a workout that's not that great, it doesn't mean you just like give up working out completely. And you can actually learn from it, you're like, oh, that was too big of a boundary. And then you can start to find your boundary, sweet spot with different people in different situations. So those are some of the first steps might be like I could talk for hours about.

[25:41] VL: This is so helpful and when I was kind of learning about my own personal boundaries, and what made sense to me. I didn't even realize how much of a people pleaser I was how much of a yes person I was saying yes to everything. And then finding myself at this position where I had just way too much going on. And so, the first place that I started was, I do not work on Sundays. And that was my boundary I do not work on, on Sundays. And it shifted a little bit to. Okay now I don't do split shifts, so I'm either working all morning, or I'm working all night, but I'm not doing both. and it was a it was a really interesting kind of like, I guess evolution of how that the schedule boundary kind of worked for me. And then the other boundary that happened was I was working out in the mornings really early in huntable morning routine. I had just changed a lot recently. 

But my other boundary was okay and I don't start work until 8am I do not work any earlier than 8am. I teach bloodies and do code health coaching so the hours are a little bit funny sometimes. However, it was not going to be any time between before 8am, because my morning routine was solid and I needed that Meantime, and as long as I had that morning workout and I have like this coffee ritual and journaling ritual. I was able to show up as a better person, and when I realized that I'm saying no, because I'm being a better service, when I do these things for myself. 

And that was a really big shift that I had to make in my mind and in myself to say it's okay to say, No, I also read a book I can't remember which book this was, but it was one of a personal development book. And if I remember I'll put it in the show notes. But the book was saying, start by saying no to everything. Before you start saying yes to anything and I was like, are you kidding me What if I can do it. And so, I tried it because I was trying everything at the time I'm like, you know what, let's do an experiment, that's what I kept thinking. And I would say no to every single thing, or I would say, let me think about it as my cousin wanted to reply immediately but I said let me have a think about this, or let me check my schedule before I commit to this. And then I could go back and say, Thanks for your patience. I went on my schedule and you know what, this works great for I thank you for your patience, like to my schedule, and this has not worked for me. And I didn't feel that and most of the time, because not that we're not important human beings like humans are important and it's great but we all live in our own realities, and we think that the world revolves around us sometimes.

I'm just gonna say it. And I was so I was one of those people who believe that I was so nervous that people were not going to like me anymore that I was going to get fired that people weren't going to be my friend if I didn't go to all these parties or girly things.

And what ended up happening. The responses were. Thanks so much for your quick reply. Or, thank you so much for your honesty, or, thank you so much for recognizing and honoring your boundaries, you've just helped me give myself permission to do the same. How empowering, is it to say, I'm showing up for myself. This is my boundary, and I'm honoring it. That just gave someone else, the permission are the sign or the reminder that they can do that to you. Rather than saying yes to everything and then coming at it with a bad attitude right.

[29:15] BB: Yeah, no, I love that. I actually recently wrote on Instagram, about a dance event I went to so I started learning about shadow which is a partner dance kind of similar to salsa. And, um, so I would go to these socials, and whenever anyone asked me to dance, I would say yes because it was new, and I was like, I don't know what I'm doing, how do I, I can't say no I should just, I need to practice of that so I kind of socialized myself to say yes yes yeah. And I remember one night, where I was just like, not having a good time. I was dancing with people I didn't want to dance with, like I wasn't feeling a connection. And so I just flipped the script, and I did exactly what that book recommends, I was like, I'm just gonna say no, because I was like should I go home. 

I was like, I'm not having a good time. And so that, wanting to go home, gave myself permission to just say no and so I just, yeah, again, so I was like no or not right now or, I'm taking a break whatever when anyone asked me, and then I'm one of the Tata dance instructors asked me to dance. And they hold on he was like, Yes, I want to dance with an instructor who like totally can teach me all the things. And I ended up having a great dance. And I guess like the lesson for me from that was, if I had said no to the guy that had asked me like literally 30 seconds before the instructor asked me I wouldn't have had, like, I wouldn't that opportunity probably would have come and gone and I wouldn't have had this amazing experience that really helped me as a dancer and was just fun.

And so that's one of the kind of insights I had about how when you say no, even if there's nothing good at that moment. You never know what's coming.

VL: Yeah, it reminded me of a quote that something along the lines of, if it's not a hell yes, it's a hell no. Or, because these are like fun little reminders right like what feels good for you and if it doesn't feel good when you say no to something that doesn't really feel great, or you're not in alignment with you're making room for something that does. And I think it's important to have that permission, especially for women who feel the need to be perfectionist or to be people pleasers and obviously to get out of that mindset is powerful, but to have these reminders like it's okay if you say no to this it's okay if you don't want to do this today, but you wanted to do it yesterday or you want to do it tomorrow. Being able to stand in your truth and be empowered enough to say this is what I want.

That’s huge.

[32:12] BB:  Yeah. And the other thing that I think women really struggle with is like changing their mind. I can't tell you how many clients have said, but I already said yes. and it's like, and then you thought about it and you changed your mind.

We all have the right. And of course, like yeah you don't want to be flaky you don't want to be the person that's like canceling 20 minutes before it's possible I mean sometimes that does happen we get sick all of a sudden or something comes up and you do have to cancel at the last minute, but I know for me like my intention is to to honor my word. But that doesn't mean like, I'm married to my word, and I'm going to just do whatever the other person wants me to just because I said, So, last week which was not a busy week and then this week I'm feeling overwhelmed.

Like, you have the right to change your mind.

[32:32] VL: So it's interesting that you said that, because we had a. We had a meeting scheduled for Monday this week and now it's Thursday, and I got called into the studio on Monday, and through my head I was thinking, I have 1,000,010 things to do, and most of them were kind of like at home I could kind of do them wherever, whenever, but one of them. one of the things that was really important to me was this this conversation, and I was like I'm just feeling his guilt, but I was like oh my god I'm gonna have to cancel him out to cancel, and I looked at my schedule, I thought, you know what I have a break between my classes where I could fit in this conversation. But when I thought about it, I said to myself, I'm like, you know what, this is not how I want to go into this conversation. I don't want to go into it feeling like my whole schedule just got turned upside down. I'm feeling anxious I have to teach a lot of cold classes I have to be somewhere where I don't like recording the podcast because it's noisy. The space is too big and there's construction outside the studio so I could have technically kept our appointment.

However, I know that. It just wouldn't have been the same energetically and so, you know, I, at first I was like, Oh, I feel so bad about this but then when I reached out to you and you were so understanding thank you so much again for rescheduling with me. I felt so much better and there's just this relief because I knew that I wasn't in the place to be holding space for someone else. So, yeah, and I hate doing that so much, and mostly because, like I appreciate I would rather someone say no to me than say yes and then keep canceling or rescheduling or not showing up. I would just rather you say hey you know what, I can't do this anymore, then toss me around right. Um, but it happened it came up and it happened so I had to do. I had to make a change. 


BB: Yeah. And, you know, this is an example, this doesn't always work out this way. But this is an example where, you know, I have my whole week calendar and I just switch whatever is supposed to do then, with Thursday, I just switched my Monday for Thursday at this time. And to me it's like, no difference and sometimes it is an inconvenience for the other person. Other thing I want to say to all the women is, that's okay. They can have an inconvenient sometime world's not gonna fall apart.


VL:  Yes. That's a very good reminder I think it's hard to hear sometimes but we definitely need to hear it. Well, honestly, I think this was a very helpful conversation that we're having especially around this time of year. And like I said, whether we want to hear it or not, we need to we need to hear the truth. So, before we move into our last part of the show or our last segment, let us know where we can find you where we can follow you and how we can support your business.

[36:15] BB: Yeah, so, um, my name is Brynn Bamber I'm sure you'll spell this all out in the show notes, but I'm on Instagram I'm at Brynn underscore Bamber on LinkedIn I think I'm e Bryn Bamber, um, secret factors my first name is actually Erica but I go by brand. And I'm Facebook I'm brand member. So those are all the places. Um, I'd love to hear from your listeners so if something resonated, or if you have any questions about what we were talking about, feel free to DM me on Instagram or, like, send me a message on Facebook or LinkedIn wherever you are. I'd love to hear like what you loved about the show or what you were confused fine. I can hopefully help. Try to clarify. Um, and the other thing I wanted to offer to your listeners is my anxiety mini training so it's a 10 minute training. And it's a training for when you are anxious. This is something you do. in the moment, when you're feeling anxious.

Um, you'll get a video version and an audio version so you can even like save it to your phones and literally like run into the bathroom and put your earbuds in and listen to it if you're like, at a holiday party and you're losing your ship. Um, but it's basically breathing feeling your body, a whole exercise that my experience, it doesn't always make my anxiety disappear. And this is what my clients say too, but it usually will reduce your anxiety by 50%, or more. So, gives you a little bit of breathing room from that anxiety. If you have to make a decision because sometimes like when we're anxious just because something happened. The aunt showed up at the party that everyone said wasn't going to or. She had COVID four days ago and didn't get tested or whatever the scenario is and like you got to deal with it. This is something that can just reduce your anxiety enough that you can get out of that tunnel vision where it's very hard to make strategic decisions, good decisions, get into a little bit more relaxed place where you can like feel into yourself feel into your intuition and know what you need to do. So you can find it a tiny url.com slash anxiety training and I'm sure we'll put it in the notes as well. 

VL: Absolutely. So it's really easy to find you because it's your name. Okay, rapid fire round, are you ready.

BB: No… I'm ready 

VL: we'll take your breath Okay, inhale. So good. Don't worry, it's not that much pressure. It's just about your favorite things.

[39:42] Question number one. What are you currently reading or what is your favorite book.

BB: I am reading right now My Grandmother's Hands, which is a book about.

It's, it's about the US really but it's about anti black racism, but through the lens of a body psychotherapist. So I'm, I'm a somatic I'm not a psycho therapist, but I'm a mental health practitioner that uses Sati and the author of the book. Also, in that world and so it's a really interesting part of it is like history and statistics and stuff, but a lot of it is about how racism has impacted our nervous systems, how racism has impacted the book is kind of specific it's like talking about white people's nervous systems, black people's nervous systems and police officers nervous system. So it's really interesting i mean he does. There is some criticism of it that he leaves out certain groups, other people of color. But, um, as a starting point, it's really an interesting lens into the world we're living in right now. 

VL: It does sound very interesting. I'm gonna link to that book in the show notes as well. And, question number two is, what do you love most about being a woman?

BB: multiple orgasms.

VL: Okay, I have to be honest, every single I do this with every single guest, and every single answer is completely different and I'm surprised every time and I love it so good. 

BB: You're gonna say every woman says the same. 

VL: I'm sure that we'll start saying, Okay, question number three What does empowerment mean to you.

So I think empowerment is someone who's willing to keep looking at themselves and doing the work and listening to podcasts like this and working on themselves. And so they keep having breakthroughs and with these break through I think you get more power, more access to your, your power that was always yours but that we get confused about sometimes.

BB: For me, it has an association for having some sort of breakthrough. Like, I think the thing that I feel the most alive. All my jobs all the things I've done in my career is like when someone has a breakthrough. And just like, Ah, this is like what I live for.

VL: Question number three: what are you currently working toward?

BB: Man, I guess I'm super passionate about core energetics because it's been so life changing for me. So it really want more people to have access to it so I'm doing a lot of guest interviews on podcast and trying to spread the word writing a memoir about my personal story and struggle with it. And so, I feel like my mission right now is getting this powerful tool into the hands of more people looking at the Godfrey, 

VL: we're gonna have to have you on again for a core energetics demo for sure. However, before you go I do want to say thank you so much again for being part of the show, and for sharing all of this information I know that it's going to be very helpful it's been helpful for me and my attorney in my experience, I know that'll be helpful for the listeners who are tuning in today. And I also want you to know that you are very appreciated, your voice is appreciated, your journey is appreciated. You know a lot of us come, a lot of us healers come from that wounded healer background and it's hard to show up to the parents, and so for you to be doing that for you to be stepping into this, this space and this leadership role and this teacher role, I think is is so empowering to see you, to see you move through these spaces, and you're very much appreciated by, by the people who are watching and following so so keep doing what you're doing, keep shining.

BB: Thanks so much for having me.

LINKS:

Anxiety Mini-Training - tinyurl.com/anxietytraining

Email Bryn - bryn@brynbamber.com

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/bryn_bamber/

LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/bryn-bamber-she-her-902639b4/

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/bryn.bamber.5

The Burnout to Brilliance podcast with Bryn Bamber.

iTunes - https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/burnout-to-brilliance/id1440791565

Everywhere else - anchor.fm/burnout
Website: www.brynbamber.com

 
Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E106: Sustainable & Ethical Gift Guide
 
 

E106: Sustainable & Ethical Gift Guide with Veronica & Alora May of SAM & LANCE

Sister duo Alora & Veronica May are the creators of SAM & LANCE, an online retailer that helps empower people to shop ethically and shop transparently, and also shop women owned…


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[0:31] Valerie LaVigne: Ladies, thank you so much for joining me on the women's empowerment Podcast. I am so excited that you're both here I know that one of you is in Canada, and the other is in Singapore so it's so great that we can be connected via zoom today. And, why don't you tell us a little bit about your brand and what you do.


Alora May: Thanks so much for having us. Um, so I'm Alora and I am the co founder and CEO of Sam and Lance. So we started this business in April of 2019 as a way to help empower people to shop ethically and shop transparent transparently, and also shop women owned.


VL: On the show, we talked about sustainability we talked about shopping, like we we talk about women's empowerment I feel like this is a great. This is a great episode in partnership so I'm so excited that were chatting today, and because we're coming into the holiday season, and we're getting ready to spend a little bit more and shop a little bit more. We're also going to be talking about some of your favorite products, or our audience. So, let's go through the kind of gift guide that we've prepared for today. What's our first item on the list.


Veronica May: So, hi I'm Veronica. Other co founder of Sam and Lance, and for gifting this year we really wanted people to really stop and think about the things you want to send to your relatives. You want to make sure you're supporting things that are local you want to make sure that you're supporting women so we put together gift boxes to kind of help you on this journey. So one that's really excited about is our Zero Waste starter kit. So we have a number of different items that are going to help your friends and family and maybe even up shop yourself, I can do that, terribly. And so in this kit, you're going to have like reusable cotton pads that people can take their makeup off, or you can actually even use them for like children's faces like throw them in your purse. They're a mom. We have produce bags. So you can bring your produce bags to the grocery store and you don't use the plastic. So the number of products in there to help people start their Zero Waste journey. And we also like to advocate like zero waste is happy perfect it's just baby steps. So, by giving this to family members and helping them, put them in the mindset of shopping ethically 


AM: and it was really cool about the zero waste kit on to that okay jump in is a few products in there that you might not think of, like for example we have a vegan and sustainable floss that's in a glass bottle so people don't really think about floss when they think of a scannability but there's a lot of plastic and things that go into floss that isn't great for our environment so you know we really like bringing these products to the forefront and having people have these conversations so then that way you know when you think about your next purchase or you're thinking about, oh my floss just ran out let me, let me get a new one and you just kind of start thinking about how my next purchase and my next thing can be sustainable. So that's why we really love the zero waste kit because it helps people just start that conversation in their own head about the products that they're using that they might not have thought of before.


VL: That's a really great point. And that's kind of where I've been on this zero waste journey, and the beginning of my Zero Waste journey I felt so guilty for like company I guess I was out oh my god this is single use plastic like oh my god I had to use a Glock bag and not beeswax, like, three years. But what I started to realize was it actually starts with just being more aware about the products that we're currently using like, where does this go when I get rid of it where does this flasco when I throw it out and so I actually switched my floss recently to in like q tips or bamboo q tips, which is again like something you don't think about they're not gonna reuse your kitchen. That's weird. Anyways, this sounds like an amazing kit and for people who are listening who maybe have heard the term Zero Waste but aren't exactly sure what it is, can you tell us a little bit about that.


[4:16] VM: Yeah, so the terms are especially a little misleading. A lot of people get nervous cuz you're like, oh I could be one of those people that puts trash in a mason jar and I'm literally create zero waste, but what it is is a journey, it's a momentum to reduce the amount of waste and to start consciously, like you said, thinking about where does this go at the end of its life, everything I'm using so start like everything that's been made of plastic is still on this earth today, every single toothbrush you have ever used is still somewhere on this planet and when you start taking this mindset be like okay, what can I use differently. And the other thing too is we actually named the company after our grandmother's, but thinking about your grandparents is a great way to get in the zero waste mindset, because what we're grandparents doing before all this plastic came into the world. So there's so many tips and tricks there's so many things you'll find online if you're lucky enough to still have your grandparents around you can actually ask them like, what did you guys used to do. And so it's about this journey to just reduce your waste to be really conscious of where it's going and where what you decide to do.


VL: And love that you guys named your company after your grandparents because I my grandma actually lived with us. my whole life ago. I only remember my grandparents living with us my grandma's still around. And I do notice little things that she does that I'm like oh that's over cork, but she's basically reusing jars or containers or whatever it is that she's doing and it's very different from what we're used to, or used to doing but I feel like we're kind of turning backwards a little bit with that so that's exciting. And I'm going to link to actually each of these products that we're talking about on the show notes page. So before I forget, that's going to be at Valerie Levine life.com, forward slash Sam, and Lance spelled out completely, so it's easy to find. Okay, what's our what's on our shopping list for number two, what's the next thing that we're going to get, for us, and then also for other people.


[6:09] AM: So we've curated different gift boxes and all of our different themes. So one of them we call be relaxed box. And this is just an awesome gift to give somebody, you know, to relax. So we have some bath salts in there, incense some body oil and some tea. So, it's also pretty gender neutral as well so you could gift it to anybody you know a friend, your mom, your brother, it doesn't really matter. It's a great gift for everybody. And then we'd like to also say that like our products tell us story so the T is tes t so it's a Toronto based brand, and it's an amazing ethical tea but a lot of the proceeds go to their charity program and give back and, you know, all of our products kind of have this lovely story behind it and story but the woman who made it so you know even with these gift boxes you're giving them this relaxing gift that also, you kind of get to learn these stories behind all these really awesome products, it's not just, you know, something off the shelf that doesn't give back.


VM: And the cool thing about the relaxed box to actually it just happened to be every box is different but this relaxed box is all Toronto based, which is kind of cool. So for any of you like Toronto listeners, you want to shop local. This box is all local Toronto women owned businesses which is extra. We think it's good for Toronto right


VL: We think it's good for Toronto right yeah I love, I love the idea of getting like all my gifts as local businesses or supporting local businesses, tell us a little bit more about the other businesses that you're supporting so you have women in Toronto. Do you have them all over the world or is it mostly Canada.


AM: Yeah, so we have suppliers and products from all over the world so we have Ghana's Cypress Madagascar, obviously Canada in the US but it's really really interesting to see, you know the the different charities and people and women around the world that they support. So, you know, we have these women in Palestine who embroider this beautiful designs onto bags and shoes so that's one of our favorite suppliers and we have karma who makes necklaces and jewelry and from Porsche the transitioning and homeless youth in Toronto, make these jewelry and that helps to give them an income so that's another one of our really awesome suppliers that we have here,


VL: I’m actually get like goosebumps when you talk about this because as you know my brand is all about empowering women. And it's so incredible that we live in such like a small world like that we can connect to people in Africa, and people in Europe and people through we can even Canada in the US like these are huge countries that were able to support all these women globally. So, this is really exciting I know I have listeners from all over the world so I'm sure that it's happening all over the world today.


AM: We only ship to the US but however we do ship globally if someone emails and gives us a certain request so we've had that before and we've made accommodations based on like individual requests, which is fine.


[9:10] VL: Yeah. Okay, that's really good to know. That's, I'm glad I asked that. So, we have the relax box, and let's say like, I love baths, so much. I love tea, but I don't drink a lot of tea. I don't drink as much tea as I'd like to drink. So let's say I want extra vassals, can I also order these products separately. When I'm shopping. 


VM: Yeah, absolutely.


VL: Okay. Perfect. Okay, so this is all exciting because already I'm just like yes I want that because I want that, maybe I'll just tell people this is the link that I want everyone to shop at and that will be for me. We have one more special box that we want to talk about.



[9:59] AM:  I also want to talk about the wearable aroma therapy gift boxes I just thought about one and I feel like you would love this and you should put this on your Christmas list because it also includes two products from brands that I just mentioned so there's a necklace from kind karma, which is the one that's made by transitioning and homeless youth and it has three different stones on it. And basically you can put essential oils on these stones and then you can, you know, relax and empower yourself throughout the day with whatever your scent is, but then also within the wearable aromatherapy bonds be included in essential oil that's made in Madagascar so it's a really cool bond that has these two items that's a really really fun gift to give somebody that we feel like we haven't seen anywhere else or done anywhere else.


VL: Oh my gosh, I love that I'm always looking for wearable aroma therapy because the special stones are typically they're lava rock or lava stones. And, yeah, they're like little diffusers basically and you just had a couple of drops in them, oh my god I love that actually, I couldn't find any necklaces and bracelets that I really liked so I started making just my own for, like, I wouldn't want to do retreats and things like, I make little extra ones but oh my god I'm so excited about that we're definitely going to add that into the list.


Okay everyone, we've done all my shopping today. Check. Okay, so now we have a fourth, we have a fourth kit that we want to talk about what which ones that one.


VM: Yep, so we want this year we launched our subscription service. So we think this week four times a year you would get a box full of ethical, sustainable items that are from companies made by women delivered to your doorstep. So we have two options we have the classic box, which is $66 and that's a collection of pieces that are already on our website you kind of get to try some kind of usable items like candle, with some nice bullet candle in there or like skincare. I think you'll actually use from our stuff and then we have the exclusive box where sometimes we can't. If we can't work with the supplier directly or you find some really special ones. He's good to go into our exclusive box and these aren't yet available on our site. So we do extra work to find new brands for you to love. And the thing about the box is to make sure that these items are usable. And we also try and make sure that the packaging is as eco friendly as possible. And we do everything in our power to make sure there's no plastic in there. And if there is we've actually worked with suppliers to have them change their packaging to be able to put them into the box which was a really big deal for us and it was wonderful that they're able to do that. So one thing that we think is great is that, to give this as a gift. It's like the gift that keeps on giving. So you know when you have like your sister or like your best friend for you spend a little more on her like giving her a couple months of the subscription boxes throughout the years to us will be about 16 per special, and we think would make an awesome gift and if Alora didn’t already have a subscription that's probably what she would be getting from me for Christmas.


VL: That's such a great gift because you're right it does get like the gift that keeps on giving. If I got a gift, every four months. Oh my god. 


AM: Because you it's seasonal right so it's each season you get a new box, all winter, spring, summer, fall, and then we try to keep it seasonal as well so on our summer box we had like all natural bug spray and some other summer items and fall we made sure to have a nice like cozy candle. And so I would have tote bags that would be like perfect for apple picking like we really like really thought about this. You told me I gravel thinking this is my number one thing we need to find this.


VL: Yes Oh my God, I went apple picking for the first time this year and they gave us like a reusable tote but there was there was like third plastic on it so I was like, oh, okay, I mean it's reusable but anyway. Wow, that's so exciting. Oh my god, and then is it a surprise every month or do you are each season I mean, or do you know what it is 

AM: surprise each season, and we do you know spoilers leading up to it, but it is pretty much a surprise and then we also do have an add on market so if you're a subscriber to the subscription box right before we ship it out we send you you know a few of our select products from our site and we offer a pretty great discount on those to add on to your subscription box that's something that we,


VM: we also do which is like another little perk that you get just if you're as a scription box subscriber, but also for guests we had a few people who bought subscription boxes for themselves and then we're like, you know what I'm going to get out I'm going to look at the products that I'm going to give out a few of them which were like yep that's an awesome idea. And then after they got to be like, I just want to keep everything myself having to purchase additional just for their friends because they just kept everything for themselves, 


VL: that's I'm so that person I'm like yeah just get this subscription box and then I'll share and I'm like, like, what, no I want this and I want this, so amazing. I love the idea of the add on market that is such a great idea for business but also for just getting more of these sustainable ethical products and supporting more women with these products bringing them into your home. That is amazing. So now that we kind of have this idea of all the products that we want for our holiday gift. And our holiday self giving. 


[15:10] Let us know about I want to know about like the top three products and each and each home that you use every single day or like the most often that you use. I'm very curious.


VM: But so tough because yeah we everything on our site, we, it's very curated, we wouldn't put on our site if we won't use it, which makes it dangerous for us in our personal wallets as well. But in the best way. Um, so, I think my top of view we have a, it's a plain white tea, and it sounds super silly that I'm saying this but it's my favorite item I literally wear it like three times a week and have to wash it, so often. It's plain white tea it's a zero waste tea so it's made with all organic cotton fibers, and it comes with a barcode. So at the end of the natural life cycle when you are done with the shirt, you get to send it back to the woman on manufacturer of their twat, and they properly recycle it into a new t shirt, and then resell it. So it's really really cool it's a great woman owned company and this T shirt is just perfect. It's so soft, it's just the perfect cut and I yeah I say daily and I wear that shirt.


I think the other one would be province apothecary has a beautiful oil based cleanser I'm really big on skincare and oil based cleansers it just works so well for my skin and it just smells like a spa I end up just like sniffing my face one washing it and it's such a beautiful relaxing experience. The other problems apothecary moisturizing oil based cleanser. 


I'm so big on the loofa. Okay, first of all, I learned this recently a loofa is actually a vegetable vegetable when it grows on land, I always thought it was like a sea sponge or something, but it's not like a bikini looking gourd thing. And, and you can actually eat them. But if they leave them on the vine longer they dry out and scrub your body. So we had this wonderful vendor from Nova Scotia, and she was looking to retire but wanted to have a farm and she just wanted a crop that would make some money and give her something to do so she created this loofa farm and so she's like the loofa Lee. And so it's just so wonderful like to support this woman's second career and these are just adorable vegetable based on the scrubbers and I just, I love that really gentle exfoliating. The don't get like the musty smell like you would on fire or something. So it has like certainly at microbial properties are really cool and then when you're kind of done with it for your body you can use it on the dishes or disrupt your floor and stuff. It's really cool. So yeah, good point or I do love the little lady.


AM: I'm probably like wearing my top three, which I know it's a podcast and bespoke can't see but I'll show you. So this is one of my favorite bracelets is again by kind karma, and it's a Morse code bracelet. So, it's a bunch of different things.


You can pick so this one actually says string in Morse code. And so there's like love and there's hope so you can kind of pick what message you want to wear just kind of like as a nice reminder to yourself, and that you got it and there this year. Um, so I ran this daily in the shower and it's like my favorite one.


Another one would be, we have what's called like a Yukon soap, so it's actually made up north in the Yukon and it's an indigenous made soap and has like three ingredients, and it's just like so good It's so nice. I usually like every day in the shower, and it's really nice to support I get paid in companies on indigenous made products and women who are doing great things in Canada. So those are two, um, what's my third favorite, there's so many.


Um, I just started using it and like I just ran out of my other shampoos or I just got, we have like a color hair and everywhere on shampoo bar. And so, for people who don't know shampoo bars are just like kind of a bar soap but you just use them like shampoo. So that way you're eliminating waste because it's just the bar you're not having a plastic bottle or even a glass bottle. And so it's really really great to just kind of get more into that less is more lifestyle. And then it's made from all like Zambian ingredients and hundred percent of the profits go to clean water in Zambia, so you just like washing your hair with purpose.



[19:47] VL: I think that's so amazing and I feel like people should really be aware of not only Where is my product going. But where did my product come from. So this is a really cool part of, of what you offer and how you support, support other businesses to with your business. When we are shopping on your site. Do we see the stories do we see the people do we see where it's coming from, or is that like something that you get when you open up your product, you open up your package


VM: on the site so when you click on every product you can scroll down to the bottom, and we have a section that describes like the product itself the ingredients if it's skincare anything and then we have a story about the woman and a story about the brand. So, it's really interesting to see how different the braid of the women are but but usually the woman has her own beautiful story behind why she started it or what her story is and then again then the story behind, who the brain supports. And then we also if they do support an external charity or cause we do have that description in there as well. So you actually get to learn everything about it. And we do a whole bunch of research and verifications and checks before we put anybody on the site so if there's information that you're not sure of about a product but you want to know more about the raw materials you can actually just reach out to us, and we have the verification there if it's what you're looking for.


So, which is pretty cool but we can only conclude so much information because we just think people get bored.


AM: Yeah, and also have everything categorized by six values. So within that woman brand, and all that information we have another tab that's our values so we have six different values, which is certified so if they have certification like GTS or Fairtrade we have cruelty free, which of course all our products are but we have thought of ethically manufactured purpose driven sustainably sourced and waste reducing so you can see that that's what we're talking about. We're really really transparent and we have these like special categories that we created you can shop by your values and filter out all the products that are purpose driven they give back or that are sustainably sourced so we really really go deep into all of that to try to make it easy for people when they're shopping, so amazing.


VL: It's like a whole experience around these six values and the and supporting supporting female businesses. So, you are both females, and you are both running this business, tell us a little bit about your story I know you mentioned your grandmother's before and how you created SAM & LANCE


AM: It's like a whole experience around these six values and the and supporting supporting female businesses. So, you are both females, and you are both running this business, tell us a little bit about your story I know you mentioned your grandmother's before and how you cope with it but how you played it safe.



VL: That's so cool. I love that I find that probably is one of those like eye opening things that you are getting this experience you're gaining all of these amazing memories but you're also learning so much about different people and different cultures and it's really cool because I think a lot of people go on trips and they think like, Oh, I want to change this, I want to bring this back and, but you're actually doing it, and I can't believe your business is so young, you guys are doing amazing I'm so proud of you both one oh my god I had no idea that you were only like a year and a half. That's like a little baby this is so exciting. Oh my goodness. Okay, we have one more. It's like part of the segment or one more segment in the show and it's the rapid fire round. So I'm going to ask you both for questions, and you can choose whoever wants to go first. And it's really fun and exciting and easy. Are you ready. I think so, yeah, I feel like, so usually like, are


[24:39] RAPID FIRE ROUND!


Question One: What are you currently reading or what is your favourite book?


VM: I have so many favorite books, I'm, I'm super into merch Haruki Murakami right now because I've read one to 84 and it is one of my top three favorite books of all time. And I'll say that I am reading.

AM: By, again, going on to like travel train but like my favorite book is a book, a little book called The desire for elsewhere and Veronica actually found this book for me i think you know like in a Singapore museum gift shop or something like that. And it's just like this little beautiful novel. It's just like a narrative about this woman's desire for elsewhere and travel and just talks about like little stories and you can probably read in an afternoon but it's just like this, like, like my favorite book.


Question Two: What do you love most about being a woman?


VM: I love feeling empowered about the little thing. I just, I love like. I love like putting on cozy sweatpants and like a little t shirt and feeling sexy I love like being able to have this opportunity to do whatever I want. Without these inhibitions where I feel like so many men have this inhibition to get to be masculine you have to be this you have to be that you can't have feelings but we're allowed to we get to have these feelings we have so much more. I just feel like we have a little bit more richness to our lives and sorry to the men who have their richness I don't know do you but I just feel like we have so much more of a chain to express ourselves and to be ourselves and there's more room for us and I also love this supportive sisterhood, especially lately like women are supporting each other so much more. And, and there's always been these tight knit communities of women all over the world throughout history and I just love that about women.


AM: Yeah, I was gonna say like the sisterhood like I just love like women coming together and like we've seen that obviously in the last you know two years that the community that we've built the same Atlanta, but then also you know like we met through make lemonade and I just love seeing these like groups of women come together and like kind of maybe an off side but you like stories about like in World War Two and like how the women like what all band together and they were like actually having better survival rates because they would take care of each other, whereas like the men wouldn't have that type of like camaraderie and help that they didn't have as high of survival rate so I just think it's like throughout history like just seeing women come together and support each other and care for each other and with each other off I think that's so awesome.


Question Three: What does empowerment mean to you?


VM: I thought about this whole blog, especially because of the Stacy working and I still have such a hard time coming up with an answer. But I think kind of what I touched on before it's like empowerment to me means being brave and being able to be every part of you, and feeling strong enough to be able to do that. So I think that's why things like your podcasts are so important to is to help people find that part of them and to empower themselves to find that bravery and to find that strength.


AM: Oh yeah, I know I did something similar to like, I, I agree. And I think for me empowerment is, you know, being brave enough to do things, be brave enough to talk about it and be brave enough to fail. And, you know, I think that especially at the beginning of starting this company, you know, we had a lot or at least I know I had a lot of imposter syndrome and like, barely would talk about what we were doing was almost not good enough for you know maybe when we have more products on holiday, you know tell more people and they just felt like it was never good enough and now that we're doing this. Well, we'll see. And we just did subscription boxes and you know, we're just like talking so much because if it you know something works or something people like it that's great but you know if they don't, if that part doesn't catch on that's okay it's, we'll chalk it up as a learning and we'll just keep moving on to me that is one part of it.


Question Four: What are you currently working toward?


VM: Oh yeah, I know I did something similar to like, I, I agree. And I think for me empowerment is, you know, being brave enough to do things, be brave enough to talk about it and be brave enough to fail. And, you know, I think that especially at the beginning of starting this company, you know, we had a lot or at least I know I had a lot of imposter syndrome and like, barely would talk about what we were doing was almost not good enough for you know maybe when we have more products on holiday, you know tell more people and they just felt like it was never good enough and now that we're doing this. Well, we'll see. And we just did subscription boxes and you know, we're just like talking so much because if it you know something works or something people like it that's great but you know if they don't, if that part doesn't catch on that's okay it's, we'll chalk it up as a learning and we'll just keep moving on to me that is one part of it.


AM: I'm working towards taking my time, I am such a rush through things do things quickly do 10 things at a time that I know that sometimes it ends up being a hindrance and not a help. So that's something that like I've done all my life and it's. I'm really really working towards just like slowing down, and it's, it's so hard for me to slow down but just like taking things, you know, one day at a time and really focusing on what I'm what I'm doing


VM: Fun Fact at Alora’s old job they used to call her a laser because she did things like *fast lazer sound effect*


VL: Slowing down, it's going to be a good theme for me do all, ladies, thank you so much again for being on the show before I let you go, let us know where we can find you, where we can follow you. We feel like this question is a little bit obvious but how we can support your business. 


AM: We feel like this question is a little bit obvious but how we can support your business. Yeah, so our website is WWW.SAMANDLANCE.COM,  and then on all socials it's Sam and Lance, so you can find us on Instagram, Facebook, and yeah just follow us and sit down. We love just chatting with people we answer all our DMS because running in Singapore I'm in Toronto, we say that we're available 24 hours a day, because we are. 


VM: So, another thing too, one thing we like to talk about is supporting small businesses doesn't have to cost anything so making sure you're following people on social media sharing stuff commenting. It's all all greatly appreciated like even if you love something we're doing like send us a message makes you feel good. And, yeah, you can you don't always have to spend money to support women to which is something that we like to remind everyone.


VL: I think that's a really good point but not everyone kind of remembers because a lot of times you will get zero waste products and you will get will be sustainable and ethical these ethical products as well and then you think like, oh my god like that. That's so expensive for floss or but so expensive for shampoo. I'm not used to paying that but you also understand that like you're making it an investment for your health, because the products are better quality but also for the world as a whole, like, the URL. Right. And then it's a great point to say that even just sharing and liking and commenting and yeah just being engaged and involved, mother. Gonna were so good. So amazing so we're getting our relaxed box we're getting our Zero Waste starter kit. We are shopping for wearable aroma therapy, love it, and are also getting and getting subscription boxes. This is just gonna, like, quietly send this episode to everyone and be like that. This is a great episode you should check it out and also has a really great gift ideas for the people in your life, pointing at myself.


VM: And we'll send it direct to your friends and family as they live far away and we'll write a little note for you so there's extra love and alaura learned like we don't pack them with love if we don't pack them with love, they're worried that it won't get ready to go so there's that there's always love in the book, there's good intentions whenever we pack it, it's important.


VL: Yes, it is. And I feel like those little things make such a big difference overall and I know when I open a package. If I'm opening. One of my friends from the States she sent me a little care package and it was like such a beautiful surprise to get you just feel. You just feel more whole and more happy when you get these boxes of love, so I'm really excited to be able to share this gift giving guide with everyone today. Ladies again thank you so much for being part of the show this has been an absolute blast I can't wait I'm going to go shopping right now.



 
Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E100: Ten Things I've Learned in 100 Episodes!
 
 

E100: Ten Things I've Learned in 100 Episodes!

So… I just re-listened to episode “0” of the show. It’s the short and sweet intro of how the podcast started. To be honest, I thought I would be cringing the whole time but I actually didn’t wince AT ALL!...


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[00:41] I listened and my heart felt so full. I was remembering the version of me who was so terrified and excited to start the podcast. My goal was to bring inspiration and excitement to women everywhere and I had no clue what I was doing – but I did it anyway!

In this trailer episode I tell a story about a young woman who was seeking a change. A woman who broke free from the expectations of others and went to live her dream! That woman was me.

During this time in my life I was discovering myself, and along the journey I met many mirrors. Some very strong, wise, beautiful, and empowering humans who completely lit up my life and inspired me to keep stepping into my true self. 

It also inspired me to create what is now the Women’s Empowerment Podcast. And today the 100th episode of the show! I can’t even believe it!! It’s so incredible and I am so proud and so full of love for what this has become!

Typically, every 10 episodes I do a Q&A show where I answer questions around specific topics, but today is a little different. Today I’m going to share some of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in the last 100 shows I’ve produced. Plus I'll be sharing more about how the show will evolve moving forward.

 

[2:15] LESSON ONE: JUST START!

I listened to podcasts for a few years before starting this one. I dreamed about how cool it would be to have my own podcast and it stayed a dream for a really long time. 

When I first decided that I wanted to have a show of my own, my mind immediately went to all of the reasons why I shouldn’t or couldn’t have my own show, and then I sat down and mapped out a plan. I thought, “if they could do it, so could I!” [they being everyone else I was listening to and following at the time.]

As a coach, I understand the importance of taking action, and there really is no time like the present… so my plan was to start with a live show on instagram and facebook that I would host each week and I would save the video/recording and use it for the podcast. 

I had NO CLUE what I was doing. I had only tired IG Live maybe once before? It was pretty intimidating at the time because most people weren’t really using it then. So anyway I gave myself five episodes, which was over five weeks to figure out how to turn those recordings into podcast content, and somehow it all worked out and I did it! I launched the podcast version of the show within five weeks. 

It was WAY more time than anyone needs to start a podcast, you could do it today! However, because I was also overcoming these limiting beliefs and fears, I was taking that little bit of time. Over that time I was also growing my confidence and developing my skills. 

As I think back to that time I am very proud of myself for actually doing the work. It’s not easy to grow and leap out of the comfort zone and to do something you’ve never done, but that doesn’t mean you can’t do it.

My only regret with the show is that I didn’t start sooner. Just start!!

 

[5:10] LESSON TWO: UPGRADE YOU HABITS

If you’ve been listening to the show for a while now, you may have already figured out that healthy habits are kind of my thing. Habits have changed my life, and whether you’ve noticed it or not, they’ve changed yours too.

I first understood the power of habits after reading Darren Hardy’s book: The Compound Effect.

I highly recommend reading this no fluff, amazing book to everyone I meet! It clearly explains how habits truly impact our lives: the good habits AND the bad habits!!

To know what kind of habits you have, start by tracking your days and weeks. Write out a list of everything you do each day, from when you wake up, to when you go to bed. If it applies, also record the quantity with the habit. For example: time on social media scrolling 30 minutes. Or drinking water, 2 litres. It might change each day, that’s okay, keep recording.

After about a week or so, notice where you’re spending your time. What are some of the things you are doing each day? If you kept doing these things every day, where do you think you’d be in three years?

As another example, let’s say you grab an afternoon latte every weekday. The medium size is $3.65, plus tax. That’s 18.25 a week, plus tax. Now fast forward to three years and countless coffees later… That’s $1,847 … plus tax. Maybe your afternoon latte is a very important ritual for you and you want to keep that going, but what about your other rituals, habits, and routines?

Where can you “upgrade” your habits? Here are some examples:

Start your morning with meditation or a brain game instead of checking emails and scrolling on social media.

Incorporate a daily movement practice into your routine and get some fresh air, or stretch your legs at lunch instead of staying in and working through your break.

Swap the daily news for an empowering podcast while you commute to work. 

There are a million and one ways to upgrade your habits. Start with one of them and stack your habits from there.

When I started my podcast I had a really strong morning routine. And before lockdown it stayed very strong and consistent. Now, my day-to-day has changed yet again and I’m working out how I can upgrade my morning in a new way as my life and habits are evolving.

 

[10:06] LESSON THREE: The Deep Work Can Be Scary

On the show we talk a lot about mindset and positivity. This is a huge part of our mental, emotional, as well as spiritual health. This type of health and wellness is slowly starting to become more mainstream, and even though it is more talked about, it doesn’t really make the work that much easier.

Facing fears, removing mindset blocks, and meeting the shadow parts of ourselves can be really scary. We’ve been suppressing all of this for so long and it keeps building up, so the longer we wait to confront it and heal it, the tougher it gets. 

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve cried, or I’ve thought about giving up, or how many times I’ve asked myself, “what is the point!?” This shit is tough. Like REALLY tough. And if you’re going through this deep, dark inner work, I FEEL YOU! I want to tell you it gets easier, but it doesn’t. It’s probably going to get harder. But you are also going to be stronger, and braver, and more empowered than ever before.

And when we start to slip into bad habits or old ways of thinking again, we can catch ourselves quicker and undo or reset a lot faster. Lately I’ve been noticing imposter syndrome creeping up on me and I, quicker than ever, shut that ish down!

I recognize that this is not serving me, and what I see in this other human being who is making big waves, is what I also see in myself. A thought-leader, a change-maker, a human of light who is raising people up by stepping into my own truth and light.

Your light can never be too bright, and don’t you dare let anyone tell you otherwise. 

And we have to use our light to work through the dark parts of ourselves because at the end of the day we’re all human, and we’re all going through a lot of stuff. We’re in this together.

 

[12:19] LESSON FOUR: QUALITY OVER QUANTITY

A few months before… hmm maybe it was a year before starting the podcast I partnered with dōTERRA and started using essential oils in my home and my life. I actually started using the oils because I wanted some holistic support for my anxiety. Within weeks I started feeling so much better and soon after I decided to sell dōTERRA’s essential oils and wellness products. I’ve never looked back. I honestly can’t even remember my life before dōTERRA. These products support every area of my health from physical, to social, to mental, emotional, spiritual, occupational and every other aspect of my life. One of the top reasons why I chose dōTERRA over any other oil company was because of their QUALITY. The quality of their oils exceeds any other essential oil company on the market. This includes their sourcing from all over the world while supporting families and communities, as well as their methods for distilling and third party testing to ensure quality with every single bottle of oil that arrives at our doorsteps. 

They are exceptional leaders in this industry and I am so proud to be a partner with them. The quality in these products also means the oils actually work. They have supported my own mental health journey, and they are supporting millions of households globally as well. 

I cannot speak enough about the importance of knowing more about what we are consuming, such as where it is coming from, and what impact it is making on the world. Not just with oils, but with all things.

Episode 61: I Didn’t Buy Clothes for an Entire Year

The changes we make in our lives don’t have to be so extreme, however the simple act of bringing awareness to our actions is incredibly important and can help us in doing better for a better world. 

This year I invested in reusable produce bags and snack/sandwich bags, as well as beeswax wraps and more so that we could reduce the amount of single use plastic we consume.

Reusable Produce Bags

Reusable Snack/Sandwich Bags

Beeswax Wrap

Using quality products, having quality thoughts, creating quality content. Whether you are focusing on your health, your wealth, or your happiness… always choose quality over quantity.

 

[15:25] LESSON FIVE: LEAD FROM THE FRONT

In today’s world we are constantly being watched. That came out a little creepy, but you know what I mean. People are watching, listening, learning, and absorbing everything we post, say, and do. We are impacting lives, and as leaders, it’s important to lead by example. There is no room for inauthenticity, for talking the talk without walking the walk. 

To build trust with yourself and with your audience you have to do what you say you’re going to do. Or do the things you are teaching others to do. 

In the last 100 episodes my life has changed. I’m taking every area of my life has been overhauled or impacted in the last two years. There has been growth, loss, and pain, and laughter. All of it. Yes, some parts of my life are more private than others and I have decided to post and share a more positive outlook and perspective AND I also talk about the tough work. I don’t show up crying every episode or every day on stories telling you the long list of negative thoughts that went through my mind when something out of my control happens. 

Instead, I take the time to connect to my inner self. I reach for my tools like my oils, and my healthy habits, and I come back to a place where I am able to respond rather than react. And I show up as the leader I want to be, and the leader I want my team members to be and I say, listen. Today was a tough day, and here is how I supported myself in this time. Perhaps there is some new information, or some helpful reminders that you might be able to incorporate into your life or healing also. 

Take it or leave it, this is me. Those that choose to join and follow and subscribe, amazing! Those that don’t, that’s okay too. 

Leaders. Your people will find you. Keep showing up. Keep leading by example. Your actions will speak volumes compared to your words.

 

[17:55] LESSON SIX: CONFIDENCE COMES FROM WITHIN

There have been a lot of episodes on confidence in the show and they have become quite popular too.

Episode 68: Taking the Big Leap Out of Your Comfort Zone

Episode 53: How to Build Your Confidence Tool Kit

Episode 28: Know Your Worth

Episode 79: Confidence and the Core Chakra

Lately I’ve been recognizing languaging and actions that stem from insecurities. I’m mostly noticing it in other people, and remember that the other people in our lives are our mirrors… so this is very valuable information about ourselves as well.

I did mention that my life has been overhauled in many ways. As I’m sure a lot of people's lives have been this year. One of the areas of my life that has been greatly impacted is my career and business. I recently became a co-owner of a pilates studio. HELL-O! WOW this is honestly a dream come true, but also it’s so huge and new that there is fear and limiting beliefs, and the negative mindset comes up from time to time. 

And when I feel my insecurities or negativity creeping in, I have to really remind myself of my own capabilities. Yes there are things that can help impact us positively and negatively, but our confidence, our power comes from within. We have to continue to connect to this core confidence so that it is so strong and unshakable. So that we can take leaps and make our dreams a reality without getting in our own way. 

The biggest, most debilitating mistake is searching for your self confidence in others. Waiting for accolades, and for others to tell us that we are great. Of course I love positive feedback and reinforcement. This is a way to remind me of my own power. I didn’t create a podcast with over 100 episodes because other people believed in me. It was finally created because I believed in myself.

I want to shake my friends sometimes because I see their light and their greatness and their potential but they do not see themselves this way and they don’t go after their dreams.

I recognize this SO WELL because I have been in their position before too. Where people want to shake the sense into you.

 

[21:02] LESSON SEVEN: YOU GET WHAT YOU BELIEVE YOU DESERVE

This lesson grows off of the previous lesson. Our self worth directly corresponds to our net worth. You get whatever YOU BELIEVE you deserve. Not think or say or feel, what you BELIEVE. You have to believe in yourself, you have to believe that you DESERVE your dreams because YOU DO! YOU DESERVE THE ABSOLUTE BEST! You deserve success and happiness, and anything else you desire that is serving the greater good. 

If you’re hitting a wall or a block or something of the sort, check in with yourself. What do you believe you are worth? Care for yourself, show up, be brave, be bold, learn to love yourself more and more and you will build your self worth. While this is happening watch how your success and happiness builds too!

Start believing in yourself and in your greatness.

 

[22:22] LESSON EIGHT: CONSISTENCY IS THE KEY TO SUCCESS

I honestly feel like this lesson doesn’t really need to go into depth because it’s pretty straight forward. Especially if you think of it from a health and wellness perspective. You can’t workout one time and expect to see results.

Do you want to get stronger? Do you want to feel better in your body? Do you want to move every day? Do you want better posture, flexibility, mobility, etc? Then keep working out. Not just one time, but consistently over a long time, and then keep doing it.

Last year I hit a really hard wall in my business. I can remember sitting on the couch with tears welling in my eyes. I started by business years ago and had felt like I had only grown an inch. That was the day I questioned my purpose. I SERIOUSLY questioned if I should quit going after my dreams and get a J-O-B. I genuinely thought about the idea but it felt like a death of my soul. You must understand: giving up on dreams for me is soul-crushing! But my heart was heavy and hurting because I had been working so-forking-hard and it only felt like it was getting harder!

In my overwhelming despair I decided to draw a bath. I sat with my heavy emotions, and my negative self talk. And after a while I started to let go of all the pain, and come back into alignment with my purpose instead. My purpose is to help busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. So that’s what I did. I helped myself create healthy habits so that I could show up as the best version of myself and transform my own life. And I’m so forking glad I didn’t give up on myself because now I;m even stronger at serving and supporting others.

Plus nearly a year later, I leveled up with a new and daring adventure as a new business owner of a brick and mortar pilates studio and this has been a dream of mine since… I was 16 I think? A long time!

 

[25:13] LESSON NINE: THE WORLD NEEDS TO HEAR YOUR VOICE!

In a previous episode about the throat chakra I shared the journey of my childhood struggles with my throat, tonsils and my ability or I guess lack thereof, to be seen and heard.

Episode 58: Speak Your Truth with the Fifth Chakra

I cannot specifically remember if this was part of my hesitation with starting my own podcast. To be honest this is such a common mindset block for a lot of entrepreneurs, and it felt very prominent in my journey as well. It’s the limiting belief of not feeling like our voice or our message is worthy. Why would anyone want to listen to me? Who cares about what I have to say? Well actually… the show has received over 17,000 unique downloads completely organically over the last 100 episodes, and I get messages all the time from people telling me how much they enjoy the show. This morning I received a voice note about episode 99 and how much they liked it! 

WHO ARE YOU NOT TO SPEAK YOUR TRUTH? 

WHO ARE YOU NOT TO SHARE YOUR VOICE?

WHO ARE YOU NOT TO BECOME THE POWERHOUSE HUMAN THAT YOU WERE MEANT TO BE?

There is someone out there who is listening to you. Who needs YOU, your message, your voice, your perspective, your support. 

I say this in the intro episode of the show: “I believe that the Universe has guided you here for a reason. You can call it luck, chance, guidance, or synchronicity, but for whatever reason, your path has aligned with mine. And as of this moment. We are connected.”

Your people will find you. And they want to hear from you.

 

[27:26] LESSON TEN: LISTEN TO THE NUDGES, LET IT BE EASY

“Let it be easy” has been my mantra over the years. Wherever I feel frustrated or blocked or challenged I stop, take a breath, and say my mantra out loud: LET IT BE EASY. When I am ready, I will go back to whatever I was working on and more often than not the work flows.

We are always receiving messages. Often from our bodies about our health, and sometimes from the Universe. Most of the time I am being reminded to take breaks and breathe. Other times I am being pointed in a new direction. Whenever I am feeling confused about my next move, I stop, breathe, and say “let it be easy” and I trust that I will be guided to a path that is free flowing and smooth.

The nudges are the clues, the hints, the signals, the messages that the Universe sends us. It’s always working in our favour, we’re just not always listening… 

I received nudges to move my podcast from weekly live shows and videos to pre-recorded episodes and videos. Then, that transitioned into audio podcast episodes and no more videos. Soon I also felt called to host guests on the show, and now as we grow more, I have new nudges to follow. But before I get to the new evolution of the show, let’s take a peak at the top three episodes so far!

 

[29:18] THREE MOST POPULAR EPISODES SO FAR!

#3: Episode 01: New Moon, New Beginnings

This is the very first episode and live recording of the show. It was a new moon on this day and that is pretty auspicious and special – if you like to follow the moon phases, which obviously if this is the third most popular episode, you must follow it! Haha 

This episode talks about the moon phases, the new adventure in podcasting, as well as manifesting with the moon.

Here's the best part. There is a video and I am nervous, and excited, and adorable. These videos and looking back is so cool in recognizing growth in yourself. It’s pretty amazing evidence of where we’ve come from; and how far we’ve come.

#2: Episode 92: An Action Plan for How to Be a Morning Person

This is essentially a 15 minute guide to creating your morning routine. I break down the benefits of a morning routine, and the step-by-step formula to making your very own.

#1: Episode 81: 5 Tips for Positive Self Talk

Simple, yet powerful, in this episode I break down 5 tips for talking more positively to yourself. I also include information about the importance of this and how to navigate the negative self talk as well.

 

[31:28] Okay now! WHAT TO EXPECT FOR FUTURE EPISODES:

→ More guest episodes! But not as bonuses, as part of the weekly content that I am sharing! We have some amazing guests coming up and I am really pumped about it! You can expect to hear from them soon!

→ I am monetizing the podcast! WOO WHOO! Currently I am enrolled in a new course to learn more about sponsorships and brand partnerships. I am so excited to be doing this because I know it will help myself and the show grow! I spend a lot of time producing the show and creating the content, I want to be able to offer more, and I also want to get paid to keep it growing. Super excited about this!

Great things are happening! Thank you so very much for celebrating this 100th episode with me! I will be popping some champagne I think tonight, or at least I will be this weekend! I appreciate you and I can’t wait for us to grow together!

Find me on instagram @vallavignelife

 
Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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BONUS: Strategizing Your Goals, Businesses, and Events
 
 

BONUS: Strategizing Your Goals, Businesses, and Events with Kyrsten Thronhill

Kyrsten is a former agency go-getter turned entrepreneur, dynamic production professional and the mastermind behind making your event run like clockwork! Kyrsten spent 15 years in the event industry and has executed over 200 events in 100 cities/towns across Canada Her company, Kulture Productions, focuses on outdoor and virtual events crafting best practices to make event management and operations efficient and effective...


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[1:05] VL: Hi Krysten Welcome to the women's empowerment podcast thank you so much for joining us today as our special guest. 

KT: Thanks for having me super happy to be here. 

VL:I would love it if you could start by introducing us share us your story in your own words take us through your journey and how you came to launch your productions company culture productions, where did it all start.

KT: Yeah so many many years ago it's, it's funny so back in, in, in college, I was going to school for acting for film and television and a friend of mine asked me if I wanted to get into experiential marketing, so you know everyone likes the guy that's giving away free swag right so I was one of those folks, and I love the teamwork I loved the logistics of it. I loved being able to go to all these events – for free – that I would want to go to anyway. Be it a festival or a concert or something. And a lot of it was outdoors and I loved that part of it. And so I started doing that. Go forward a few years I fell in love with acting because I was going more into the I liked, like the behind the camera stuff. And even more than that I started to realize that I really liked the operations and logistics and the responsibility that came with managing a team from the experiential marketing side of things. And so I started freelancing more in that and and just fell in love with it and I felt like, people were happy when they were working with me, little things from like, you know, 15 minute breaks or not a thing like 20 minute breaks minimum, that kind of stuff because you just incorporate real life. And, and I just kept moving forward that way so I was freelancing for four years. And then, over, over 10 years. And then last February 2020. Well I've been thinking about it for a bit, but I'm working towards a launch in February 2020 for culture productions. And, which is kind of funny because an event management company launched in February, 2020 is just a big old lap right. So we plan God laughs or whomever it is the last and, and, and that's just where it came to be. I wanted to scale the company and grow. I knew that people liked working with me, and I wanted to be able to create that culture in that, in that company for people and that's just where it came from taking what I love to do and finding folks that wanted to do more of it with me.

[3:58] VL: That's amazing I love how your story kind of evolves in this way where you're following a bit of a dream and that molds into this new version of your dream, and that evolution takes you to where you are today. It's really cool. And it's really empowering to start your own company, I know exactly what that is like. So I was wondering if you could share with us what were your biggest obstacles. During that time, whether it was even from the beginning that pre production period or the pre launch period, how did you overcome all of the things that were happening. 

KT: Yeah, good question. And often I find with with many businesses and business coaches that I talked to a lot of folks start a business. And then they work on the numbers. And I need it and that's the route I was going. And it's funny because even my dad who's a business coach is like, Why do people do that. Why do they start the business and then figure out the numbers right like you know your numbers you have a better sense of where you're going. 

I don't care what industry you're in right so it was for me at first it was switching that mindset of building out my numbers first getting a vision for the company. I knew what I wanted to do. I knew I wanted to do outdoor events and focus on virtual events, but what did that look like from an offer perspective what value was I providing, and what I can do. But what value was I really providing what what problem was I solving for people. 

So the numbers the first the next biggest thing for me was that market research. Of all the things, honestly that I've had to do in my life, and I know everyone can be great at everything but holy hell that market research part, I don't know what it was for me, that was the hardest part. And, and, and how I overcame that was just just talking through it just keep talking. Until I understood or had a good sense of how gathering that information, worked best for me, and how that did work best for me was talking to people. I work through things well when I'm when I'm talking to people. And then, so that's going well. That went well. And then the next thing was the website website. 

And God love you Thrive Themes but, oh my, trying to do that on my own was really was really difficult. And that's okay because, although it probably took a year off my life, I'll get that back through self care i'm pretty sure. But, but all, although as hard as that was I knew that I needed to go through it, because it was going to make me learn about my business more get deeper ingrained with what we were I was doing for the people that I wanted to provide value for my clients.

[7:39]  VL: Very cool. I love the I love those three kind of chunk steps that you talked about. And I wanted to ask about with that second step with your market research, actually, let's go back to the first step with your first step with the the numbers. What were you looking for exactly? So if someone basically, if someone was starting their own business today, what would you tell them in terms of that first step that numbers game? 

KT: First thing I would say is, you're going to need to make more than you're think you need to make, you're going to need to make more than you think you need to make. It's it doesn't all balance out, you don't spend X amount of dollars and want to make 10,000 more than that. And that's the number that you need to make. The I mean, getting acquainted with terms like profit margin, gross profit margin, you know, profit and loss statements, balance sheets, you need to get acquainted with that sort of stuff. If you don't know it all off the hop, that's all good, but you just need to know the questions to ask in order to get the help that you need. And that's and that's what I leaned into with that.

[9:02] VL: Yeah, I think that's true, too. Because if you're not prepared to learn those things in the beginning, you're gonna learn them really quickly. And I like how you said switching that mindset of Yeah, you always business idea, but what are the logistics with it? How are you going to? How are you going to make the business run? How are you going to put food on your table and all that? The the second step that you talked about were the the different things that you did for market research. You said you like talking to people. So what I want to know is what were you asking them? Like? How are you finding your people? Let's talk a little bit more about that piece. And also, how are you collecting all that data? And then how did you use that data? Take us through the process a little bit. 

KT: Sure. So right off the hop. I felt like I needed to get it right. What I was going to offer what those pain points were, what I learned is that it's okay to not get it right off the hop, have a hypothesis. You know, the challenges are I know the challenges that I went through. And that probably resonates with people. So that's where the conversation starts. These are the challenges.

I have, this is the value I'm looking to provide based on that. Do you feel the same thing? Or no. And as people give you feedback, just write that stuff down. And those start to become your questions that you then want to move into a survey that you can provide people right, you could do that. by whatever means you have I mean, there's lots of free options there: Google Forms, spreadsheet, whatever it is to just get people filling out those those answers, Survey Monkey right and go through the motions and No, and be okay with the fact that those are going to evolve, they're gonna change the feedback you're gonna get is going to be different. You're going to wonder what the hell it is why you asked that question in the first place based on some of the feedback you get. And you're going to need to consistently remind yourself of what that original hypothesis was, and what if you're moving away from it or not? And if you are, that's cool. Just know that and go with the flow. And don't take too long to take action on something. It's okay to not feel like you have it right. Or you're like, yeah, this is good. 

If you feel like you have enough to start moving forward with something, be it an offer, or even now changing the conversation that you're having with your market research. That's cool. Because what I've learned is Everything is every single business owner has done it that way. A lot of folks look real polished 10 years in, because they're 10 years in, and there's no substitute for being 10 years in, you know, and you just got to make peace with that. And then now so that, you know, that's kind of how it's been. 

And now it's just continuing that continuing to evolve and ask those questions based on all the climate around you. Be it whatever those those challenges or new things are that come up with our lives or industries. Just keep asking questions.

[12:33] VL: I think that's amazing advice. And I love that you have this scientific approach to, to the whole the whole process because it really is a numbers game most of the time. And it's also about building relationships, especially when you're working with people. We actually did a survey for the studio because we were having trouble Making decisions and I learned this a while ago. It was whenever you're creating a survey, make sure that every single question is very intentional so you have a reason for why you asked the question, and this was very helpful because it makes your survey shorter, it makes it more clear and then it helps you kind of wade out where what direction you're going in and really say yes we're clearly in the right direction with our hypothesis, or an overbearing away. 

And then that way you can rebuild into that, a new survey if you need to, or a new direction in conversation like you were saying so I find I find that really helpful and I find what you said, really helpful as well. But what's great is that we had a lot of questions about our clients before the survey should we offer this should we offer this for this and we're like, why don't we just ask them why don't we just ask them instead of trying to guess everything. 

That's where I think a lot of new business owners struggle is because they want to put out this really beautiful imperfect, really, like, highly produced offer, and they get it wrong because they didn't do the beta test or they didn't do the survey or they didn't have a single conversation with potential clients, customers, or whomever. So yeah, I think that's really valuable and I feel like it's, it's not really the glamorous part of business, most of the time, so I'm really glad that you said it. 

And then the third piece he talked about was your website, and what I'm taking away from what you said was really, you know, we all have our strengths. So, there are going to be pieces of your business that are not your strengths and maybe putting a year into a website isn't worth it for you and it's not part of the numbers, but you can definitely delegate certain things out to people. I know we've talked about this before. Same thing with like social media management, you find what's working for you, what's not working for you and what can you pass over to somebody else so that's really important. And maybe we can chat a little bit about team building because you talk about teamwork a lot, and I want to know how you how you bring your team together like how do you find who you are working with and how do you make those relationships work loaded question.

[15:16] KT: Yeah. So I called my company Kulture Productions – with a “K” – I got to, you know, throw myself in there a little bit right but, you know, a bit of a differentiation but also because for me it all stems from that team in that culture that you create from working at exponential marketing companies, and just teams and family. 

In general, the biggest thing that I found is that managing expectations and communication are the two biggest things aren't sure what industry you're in you're managing and by managing expectations I mostly mean emotions. Right. And in that communication, I find a lot of problems can be solved. Just through clear communication. 

And what that that process is so, so the, the first part, I like to always talk about is, is mindset. I love how this is becoming more mainstream and it's not just from a company perspective, but also being in such a high paced and high stress industry, it's really important that people know that culture has got their back, I don't care if you're a client or or working in our team or we've contracted you out of your supplier, life happens, things happen, and mindset is just a big thing we just need to communicate that sort of stuff. So that's a big big piece. 

And then the second part after that is taking people through like the systems and procedures that we have. They're there for a reason, there's sometimes a big learning curve with folks as to why we work sometimes the way we do, why we use the software we do, as opposed to some other some other options, and the truth is, is there's, there's a lot of great options right but you just kind of got to pick something and go with it and if you decide to move on to something else later that's okay. 

But getting people into a system and into habits that actually help them be more productive, they'll eventually see it, it's okay I'm confident that they'll get on board and it'll be a benefit to them later. But being open to them, kind of, like, I don't know, like a six year old that's going through growing pains and they're like, I don't know why my joints hurt right like but all I know is a cranky, they'll be like, I know why you're cranky. I don't need to explain to you why. Okay, but let's, I'm going to deal with the symptoms versus trying to tell you what's up. Right. Unless of course they want to have that conversation let's have that conversation, but I think it's important to, to help them navigate through that. And if you if you bring those two together, helping them work through those processes, and also making sure that they understand that they're supported. 

Then, like the skills or the happenings just come, like the relationship is formed you guys can trust each other, you're more productive. And of course there's kind of a third part where you're looking for that skill set. 

But a lot of that skill set can be taught. I don't care who you are. Right. And, and so those are the two main things that I look for when I'm working with anyone. And then the skill set comes along with that so that's kind of like what I like to found everything on, and like to keep it simple to you give people too many things to think about them or just their last. So I like to give them two or three things like this is what we're about. And let's move forward and the restful will work itself out and then I feel that they feel well empowered really to to do their best and be their best because they know they're not being micromanage, and they know that I trust them to just do their stuff. 

And if our relationship needs to part ways, they will be surprised, nor will I be surprised and I believe that should never be a surprise if employees or contractors or whatever that relationship is decided to go different ways. And then it's, and then it's an okay conversation to have like high five, this isn't really working. Cool. Moving on. Do you want to have a tea later. 

[19:48] VL: So amazing! Like you said, you're outlining clear expectations and you're offering that support. So at the end of the day, like if you're not getting it done or, this isn't working out, then we've got to go. And I think that's, I think that's really great of you that's a hue I feel like you're just an incredible leader I can't wait to learn more about and share more about your, your business and your practices. 

Very interesting. I have a lot to learn from you! 

Actually something you both have in common is our love for personal development, we chat about our favorite authors all the time, and many of our favorite authors and our favorite speakers they share a lot of different tools and practices that help us elevate ourselves or help us empower ourselves. So I wanted to know what are some of your own best practices or rituals that you like to follow that help you keep you aligned with your most empowered self or your best self. 

KT: First and foremost, it's being open to trying new ways of managing all that, or processing information, or organizing your day. You know, being kind to yourself about it and not taking on too much. But I think about when I think about that sort of development. So as a, as a yoga instructor yourself with the analogy and like is, say you're doing yoga for three months in that first time like an inversion, or something difficult becomes easy, and you just blow your own mind. But you had to go through all the things and figure out the right positioning and like what worked for you because even though that is the right position. This is the proper positioning How does it fit in my body to work the best. And, and you don't know that until you, you go through the motions and tweak it here and there. 

So being able to lean into those crunchy bits, is the first thing get comfortable being uncomfortable, is when you hit it home man does it feel good and you find that like little thing for me, one of those little things was like 90 minute jam sessions, I work in 90 minute jam sessions I break my day up. 

And I know because I've worked really learned a lot about kind of the science behind why we work we know generally it takes us 15 minutes to get into a task. So, but only a lot myself an hour. I'm doing the task, but I know that I'm only effectively working for 45 minutes, where I could be effectively working for an hour and 15 minutes. Right. And I'm not fatigued right I can take my brain break and even though I'm in the zone I say no no no if you were getting longer than that, then you're going to get fatigued. And I've tried to even just all those timelines 45 minute sessions, an hour, an hour and 15 and for me, 90 minutes is that sweet spot. 

And then I get up, I will make a tea or like have a chat with a friend, or I play with my rabbit, and you know kind of get back at it. So that's one of the big things for me, and I think that process works well in all areas of of self development you just you got to lean into it, in, in whatever that area of your life is. 

Another example is being able to have conversations with folks, leaning into difficult conversations. From a personal development perspective. That helps me say that, look no judgment, I can we can I you know be real awkward here for a sec, and address this situation that I probably normally wouldn't that's another little tactic I've learned myself, is to like call out the awkwardness before it's actually awkward because then it's not awkward anymore. It's actually kind of funny, right, so now you've broken the ice and everyone's all relaxed, yeah you got a little bit of laughing around because I like I'm a big human person, if I get a little stressed, I like I just need to crack a job, and most the time it works to my favourite.

Don't get me wrong, there's been some times there's like yeah tape learn that not the time nor the place. Okay, or like that person doesn't work like that but I have to go there. In order to know that I can't go there anymore. Right. And I mean that with all due respect for not talking any anything extreme. 

And being open. The biggest thing for me is just being open to learning I'm always asking why to do anything, right, whether I have I'm talking to a police officer on set that are on site that has nothing to do with the event. You know, I'm like, how did you guys handle that situation then we heard about a little while ago cuz other industries will always inform what you're doing, and you have no idea when that beauty little nugget is gonna come. So as much as that can come from ours, you know, girls self development gurus are the people that we go to for personal development. 

Personal Development extends way beyond those folks, so you'll grab a tool or practice that'll help you and speaks to you better than anyone you know could ever say. So, being open to that sort of stuff and that's what I've found has gotten me to my to my best self for me to be like, Okay, this is, this is finally easier. You know this difficult conversation is easier doesn't make it really any less difficult to have, but to lean into it is a lot easier.

[25:41] VL: Wonderful, yeah. I agree with what you are saying. You have to try it on for yourself, and you can find a teacher that you really like and that you read all their books, and what I was noticing was, I was so obsessed with personal development for a while that I read all the books and then they all started sounding a little bit the same. And what I realized was okay well why isn't this working for me. And it's because I was busy reading the book and not taking the action of the book was telling me to do. And you will learn for yourself, like you said your 90 minutes works really well for you For me it's a two hour block, so I don't know if I have ADHD or if I'm just someone who is a little bit easily distracted. 

But the two hour block really, really is helpful for for myself, but it took me a little while to learn that too because I would do, I tried all these different methods to get me there into those that sweet spot so I think that's really helpful is leaning in to the awkwardness the crunchiness. The, the, always, always, always leaning into that discomfort because you're going to learn, you're going to grow, we're going to move forward but you, but it's you taking action, I feel like that discomfort is a sign that you are on the right track because you're taking action and you're moving forward. 

And like you said earlier in the interview that you know 10 years experience. There's nothing else that really talks that you could you could have all your numbers all laid out, but until you're actually going into that experience.

It's Yeah, it's huge. Absolutely love it so many golden nuggets in this in this chat I'm really excited. My next question was, what is something we can do to help ourselves navigate current situations, and prepare us for the future I know you talked a little bit about this, about asking questions.

I was wondering if we can dissect this a little bit more, asking question always getting curious, and how do we do this in a way that we can then navigate using these questions like what kind of questions are we asking, and how are those preparing us.

[27:50] KT: From a business perspective, I always go back to strategy first: What are you trying to accomplish? What's, what's the why? I find a lot of struggles come from. If you don't have that that macro. That's clear the micro is going to be so damn hard to figure out. Because you can't relate it back to the why, to the strategy. So you just got to get real clear on that. And again, it's okay if it changes. But as long as you when you reevaluate it if you get real clear on it each time. So the main three questions from a business perspective that I always ask myself and we can relate this over to personal is what is that strategy? What is that why? 

And the second thing is, is there a budget to do it so fine and dandy and it fits in perfectly, but do we have the budget to do it. Right. And that makes it easy, it's, it's this beautiful question that makes it easy. Do we have the budget? No, gone. Yes. Okay. Next up, what are the logistics of it. Can we do we have the resources to support this beautiful idea, we have that supports our strategy that we have the budget for. And if you can't support it. No amount of money that you're going to throw at it is going to help it serve your strategy. 

And then if you think of that from like a personal perspective, whatever your goal is, or whatever that strategy focuses for you. Do you have the means? Maybe it is budget, maybe it is resources, you know, do you have the means to do it?  And then if no then gone. Right. And If yes, then move on to okay well how am I gonna make it happen. Do I need to get someone to babysit you know your child, do I need to send the dog to my parents for a week. Do I need to go for a run, whatever that is, but it needs to relate back to that to that strategy. And if you get if you just go through that process, every time. It'll help you stay clear on that macro so when you go to make those little decisions. 

They can happen quick and they're not they're way less overwhelming and sit far less heavy on your shoulders, and it's okay to move through dishes decisions quickly sometimes. I think that's important to remember too. 

[30:28] VL: Yeah, made me think of when you said, “Okay, this is the goal“. And then if we don't have the resources that goal goes out, but what it made me think of is, “Okay, well if we don't have the resources, what has to come first for that goal to then have the resources?” What do we need to do now for that to work and it could still be like that could, because it could be tied to your why and the goal is your why and that the strategy is your why and that's how are you going to get there and it's just a matter of again asking questions. 

The question now is, so it was Do we have the resources, the answer was no. And the question now goes to. What do we need to do first to get there or do we really need to be doing this goal, maybe we change the goal. Yeah, so I like that just keep kind of dissecting it. And the second thing it made me think of was not holding on to the outcome or the goal that you thought you wanted in allow it like being flexible for that to change because especially when you're working with people, things are changing all the time, and I think that's really important to remember. 

Let's go a little bit deeper into the event and productions industry. The world is changing. We all know this, and virtual events are a little bit more popular a little bit more common. So I want to talk a little towards the pivot. Let's talk about the pivot for listeners who have been, maybe hosting live events or attending live events, how do we now pivot, our event, into the virtual world? 

[31:58] KT: Again, what I like to come back to is that that strategy, what are you looking to do? What kind of value Are you looking to provide for your specifically for attendees, in the event industry. There's a lot of talk now what's great about the pivot is the pivot has been coming and happening for years. They didn't, all of a sudden, get thrown in our face it scaled real quick because of circumstances. And not even just circumstances also what people were looking for in this like bespoke experience right. And so, not all is lost if you haven't got there yet know that that's super important. 

So to go back from that strategy first perspective. The main thing between virtual events, and in person events. There's this 8020 split love that rule, it's ridiculous how much it applies to a lot of things. 20% of in person events. only 20% sort of in a game. Sensory have in the in person events is what will change on virtual events, and those two main things are your tech and your touch points with your attendees. Everything else can work itself in in a different way. 

Right. So if we go back to strategy, And so you have an in person event, Does a virtual event accomplish what you want it to the person event was looking to do, and vice versa, if you have a virtual event that you're looking to bring in person, because in person events, they're coming back, people want them, we can we can see even from our current climate, just people going to restaurants and that sort of stuff. But we, we know that not all is lost one way or the other, there's still people that love one or the other. So again if you're going from a virtual event to an in person event you're gonna have that 20% again that's going to be different, you're attacking your touch, right. 

So, it's nice to be able to what I like to do is when my clients is be able to have that conversation with them was 80%, that we know we're going to have to tweak a bit, but what's that 20% that's going to have the biggest impact. And if you just ask yourself that question what's the 80/20 for me? And how does that relate to my strategy? If you can clearly answer that question. If it serves your strategy and serves your attendees. You're good. 

Now there's a lot of conversations around to around hybrid, specifically in the event world, and the easy. The easy answer is, don't do it. Because the purpose of virtual events is different. Well, yeah, the purpose, and the people that it's serving is different than the purpose, and the people that in person events are serving. So there's there's that two factor in as well. Now, I put a little * beside that because I'm sure you know we'll get better at it as people get used to it a bit more. But you're serving people differently, that way so my reko is, If you're pivoting one way or the other, ask why. And if the conversation pops up around a hybrid, ask why again and see, again it just it relates back to that strategy.

[35:45] VL: I'm really glad you mentioned that because I host events, and I was wondering who should, should I go forward hosting live and virtual events, and what would that look like why would I. Why would I do that. How could I, how can I make this live and virtual. And when I was just brainstorming by myself off the top of my head and thought, I think this would be more beneficial to the audience and to the, the people attending to the attendees. If it were two separate events. One was live one was virtual is kind of like you couldn't come to the live so for Corona virtual type of thing right. It can't be. I don't know it wasn't it wasn't really working on this mix I'm glad I'm glad you said that but again Asterix because we're open to new things. 

And what I wanted to know actually from what you said was, do you have any examples of those touch points I feel like the tech will just depend on what kind of event you're hosting but in terms of the touch points. What do some live event touch-points look like, and then what were, what would be some virtual touch points? 

KT: Yeah, so a fun one. That, that are finding people are really liking is. So for, but let's step away from like festivals and events and go into another bit of a live in person. type of event, like a run, or something. So you got a marathon going on. And so there's this cool camaraderie community building experience that happens when you go to pick up your badge right you get your little and choose packs right maybe a little thing all this foam three stuff right all those little goodies all the swag that we all love right you're big you know you got a yes you get all that sort of stuff. We have this interesting opportunity now what about if we're doing a virtual event. To give folks a swag bags. 

And swag bas right there like the renew it they've got all the things that they could have before. And maybe the run is still happening but now they've got different start times, but they still get that and maybe they couldn't go into the building to get all their stuff but they still have that pre run experience where they get to open their box as they would open their swag bag, see all the things, try them on, take a photo with their family, post it on social media so it's like it's mimicking what the experience that they would have had in person, but now they're doing it at home, and posting it more virtually that way. So that's that's a fun. That's a fun thing that we're seeing a lot happening in the in the events world. 

Yeah. So another example of a neat touch point would be sticking with that same example for a run right so you can't go in to to do the, the actual champion in person right. but they do still have a time. You know people are still running but you have a slotted start time versus isn't. What if we did a virtual checking. So people still have to check go to them, or whatever platform you're using and, and go in and talk to an actual human, that says hey what's up. Congratulations. Pretty uh pretty awesome that you're doing this right like Do you have any questions, did you get your swag box. Did you get all the things right so it'll be a consideration there as to when you want to do the check in time so depending on what questions, as if they didn't get their swag box, do you actually have time to solve that. Right. So those are all logistical things and then that's why you hire them people right. Don't think of that stuff where he knows we pay him for. But, but it's a fun consideration that way for the touchpoints and to keep people engaged and make them feel just as valued and support it, as they ever would if they were in person, something interesting that I'm that I'm hearing from a lot of virtual events is not only. Well firstly I'm seeing not only are they outperforming. I mean if we're talking from clearly financial thing outperforming their their their in person counterparts. But people actually feel more engaged and, and the attention is on the more supported. So it's interesting because they have a bit more of a voice that way as opposed to being lost in a sea of people. So it's kind of neat that that transition that's happening so virtual events actually bringing us closer together.

VL: Yeah, that is really interesting to hear, because I know that I get a lot out of those in person connections and community building. I know that you mentioned that and I didn't mention this before but you and I met through a virtual community. And I feel like a lot of the people that we've connected with on this virtual community. I've known them for either a long time or because we have a similarity because we've been part of this virtual community for a little while now. I don't know I never thought that I could have a deeper connection with someone and learn so much about someone. This way, but it's working, and I feel like I've made genuine friends, and I mentioned this a little bit of the pivot back because back from virtual to live, or avoiding the hybrid right. But is there anything else that we need to to remember, we go back to two live events or in person events I should say no live. 

KT: Always for me from, from a management perspective it's always health and safety I don't care what's going on in the world, it's always the thing and it always needs to be. The next thing is, is analyzing your numbers and your data, what do you have to go off of that your people are telling you right because as we talked about before, like, ask them. Did you enjoy this more, did you not. 

So, being open to having that conversation with them and being open to seeing how your live event evolves. And if it changes that's okay, if it gets longer that's okay because shorter, maybe it was a three day thing maybe it goes down to a one day thing like that's okay. Again, what is what is your strategy What are you looking to do for yourself as a business, be it nonprofit for profit, what have you, but also what kind of value are you giving to your attendees. And can you now do that in a day. Did you. Is there anything that you learned that, that helps you evolve your in person event and asking re asking yourself that 8020 question really is, is the biggest thing so health and safety. At 20, and what did the data tell you. 

[42:50] VL: I'm glad you said that because if, when we were looking at our data from our own survey. It was specific to our play studio and we asked people, you know, are you going to be coming joining us in person or in the studio Are you gonna be joining us virtually or we're using. Are you thinking of something like a mix of both. And we were blown away by how many people actually wanted that makes it both virtual, and in person classes. And I know that even from a teacher and a student perspective as somebody who's taking fitness classes online, and hooking them in person. I liked the option to just turn on my computer, sitting in my living room, do the workout, and then I was done I turn my computer off and then I could go have dinner if you go have a shower right away or I was already at home and I didn't have all these, like I wasn't driving to a new space that I've never been before so I really think that there is room for both types. And that's what I want to ask you is, can we still have the best of both worlds. Can we sell a virtual can we still Why does it have to be one or the other, can be both?

KT: YES. hahah! Answer Yes, they can. And like you said, I think it all comes down to what your, your people want. Right. And if that, making sure that it doesn't come at the cost of the value that you're providing people right if it's not serving them properly. Maybe that's what they want. It's kind of like when you know you're looking are talking to your clients and, and, and you're telling them what they need to hear. Right, knowing that this is what they're asking you kind of have to search for that question behind the question, to see if like do they actually want a hybrid something or is there something else going on, that they miss that I could incorporate into either of those, but I certainly think you can have the best of both worlds. And it looks so different for different industries in different demographics depending on what they want and how well versed are they in in software and just engaging that way, right from it from a simple logistics perspective. To what do they need to feel to feel fulfilled, are they like an in person. They need to like feel the energy in the room or they comfortable and can still feel connected in in a virtual way no matter what the what the event is but I love that your folks are telling you that they do want both what that says to me, is that. My question is, now I would put back to them. It's like it sounds to me like you really like consistency and you want to be. You want to be involved on a consistent basis, but you can't make it in all the time that for whatever reason, it just doesn't fit into your life, but you understand, like me, I'm an in person gal. I just love it. I love the energy, I want to feel the music waves coming out of the speaker into my body, you know, you know, as an example, and so yeah you can and that's just going to look like. different things for different people and different companies and clients. 

[46:14] VL: Yeah, that's a great point and it again comes back to the strategy the survey all the data so really good point. And I want you to brag a little bit right now I want you to tell us everything about what you do, what kind of clients you serve. Basically if anyone's out there listening to this interview and wants to know how they can work with you and what and what you do. Exactly.

KT: Oh, we talk about obstacles when it comes to your business pat yourself on the back and doing those elevator pitches and and being comfortable talking about yourself, knowing that you're actually not bragging because he knows who you're going to talk to you to be like, should you do not. Well let's talk. Let's talk. Right. Um, so yeah. I just love what I do, so I'm not talking about it, by me right away. Um, so I love our culture productions focuses on outdoor and virtual experiences. It's funny people like what can you do your stuff. Yes, I can do indoor stuff. I don't want it though. 

So, I can do it, I like it. Some people, I still love it so this is what I like to focus on. And that's plenty. I think that's important for people to know there's plenty of work and what you want to do. If you love it enough and you do and you provide enough value. So, that's why I've moved forward. In this way, some of the big projects that we've done is, I worked on a traveling hockey festival called Rogers hometown hockey, for, for four years so we were. I was a senior Event Manager on that. And what that means is that, I would help set up. 

I would go and visit all the communities. Let me back up a bit. The festival is a hockey was a hockey based festival that went to 24 cities in 26 weeks over the hockey season. So we went across the country with that. So we did that festival in 97 cities across the country, which was on real oh man if you have not traveled this country. And you're like, now's the time Jesus it Now's not the time I don't know what it is right so like, check it out. We've got some good stuff.

But, so I would work with my team to, to go to all the different cities and have those conversations with the cities and towns Hamlet's to see if they wanted to host this thing. And so we would have that conversation with them, and then work with their team to get a local Organizing Committee set up and take them through beginning to end. So we were working with 24 teams concurrently across the country to get them all set up.

And if that doesn't mean systems and processes, I don't know what does and I was like, Oh man, I don't know what the word is I've heard geeking out or nerdgasm or whatever you want to do but I was all about eighth grade so I just loved all that stuff because I love making sure that people feel good, and feel supported because form, and you know, she goes south. It's all good. You know all get done because it has to one way or the other. And we're going to do it sanely. That's the big thing for me is, is, yeah. Team sanity and that. And then most recently, I've had this new contract come out or a new client.

I wouldn't use a new client like I got a new opportunity I'm just so blessed to have the opportunity presented so so it's a company called curbside concerts and little plug per se concerts.ca, check it all out. And so, because of COVID, what happened was a gentleman named Matt masters out of Calgary, very well known in Calgary across the country as a Western musician and artist. And so when music stops.

You can probably think of three musicians you know that are playing that were playing in live venues anymore right or supporting an initiative somehow with with live music. And so he and his friend build a stage on top of his car and he literally started playing concerts and people's herd size. Right. It was so awesome, and the need was there people wanted it they I mean it, there's been like 300 shows of that already coming out of Calgary. And so, for him he's if there's something here, people want this, and you love like music as much as I do. I don't care what the circumstance is. And I mean that goes with anything that someone who loves and is passionate about you're gonna find a way to do it, you know.

And one thing I'm a big believer on is. I don't particularly like the same thinking outside the box, I actually think it's a lot easier, more productive, to have a little box. I mean, the boxes have to be tiny and restrictive. It just has to have parameters, that's all right and you can work within them. So we have these interesting parameters that were set on us, right in March, and he rolled with it. Right. And so he wanted to now to take this national, and I was at, I had to stop myself or be like don't don't seem too excited too fast right but you're like it's contracted so find the contract you want to send you wonder, do you want to send me one right. And so that's what I'm working on the main project that I'm working on right now is getting this up and going in a managing and culture is managing the operations for that. So, we have to be very aware of the health and safety around that we need to know, you know we're developing onboarding processes for artists that we want to work with as we want to expand this out across the country and producers across the country that have their rosters right and it's just so it's so good and it's so nice to see it flourish. There's an interesting learning here I think for everyone is that the initiative is was doing so so welling in Calgary from the gecko, and then you start to scale. And sometimes, in our case the amount of concerts that we were having dipped a bit because we needed to hit this infrastructure in place. And I think it's important for to share that, because that can be a little bit scary when you're talking about a startup or you got money on the line you got lives on the line you got these humans that depend on you. Right. There's like a ripple effect that this is his family's kids right we want to make sure that they're taking care of and and you know the conversation on the early on with that was again mindset, which was really great that is something that this initiative aligns with a culture.


Thanks, in a leash make sure that everyone's in the right mindset and moving towards the goal. And so now we're just we're going to blow that out and it's going to be awesome because we've got a lot of the feedback coming in and people are loving it and. And I think we decided yesterday so I'm going to say it out loud for the first time in the world and we're launching August 17 nationally across yet across the country so we're building, building up to that getting all the from an operational perspective for me getting all the systems and processes in place to onboard artists and together, or producers in each of the regions set up and supported in our marketing strategies set up from a marketing director and just all all those things and I'm just keeps a stupidly stoked because I feel a little punch drunk on it honestly it's and to be given this opportunity and it's easy to talk about because I see how excited people get when I talk about it, which is just as excited as I got so I digress you shouldn't let me go I could talk about that for days it gets a little fired up.

[54:13] VL: Oh my gosh, well congratulations! Oh, congratulations that's so exciting and at the time of this recording that's less than two weeks away so that is huge. How long does the event run for? 

KT: So the initial, we're pushing for November. And we're going hard for six months we want to really see what we can do in six months and I think that's smart we have some realistic goals set in place we're going to reevaluate in six months, and long term, the goal is, is a year, two years, five years 10 years we really want to support musicians across the country and and change the way that the community involves artists and interacts with them.

[55:10] VL: Wow, amazing, and so cool. 

KT: WEBSITE: KultureProductions.ca
INSTAGRAM | @kyrstenthornhill

We've got a company, Instagram, you know, it's on its way. We're working we don't want to throw it up there until it's ready, you know again from that value perspective of not putting it out there that. If it's not good enough to go yet. However, the, the Asterix on that is, I love a quote from the co founder of LinkedIn and he said if you're not embarrassed by your first version of something you took way too long, put it out right and so and then that's fine and I apply that every day in my life to a lot of stuff like so this is.

[56:27] VL: I've never heard that quote before I love that. That's so great and it's so true, what I always say in my classes when, when people are getting frustrated that they can't do a pose or whatever they're going through in the class they just say you know I'm an expert at anything was once a beginner so give yourself permission to just, just try to show up for yourself and whatever that looks like, and your business yourself whatever it is that's awesome i love that quote, definitely put that into the show notes as well. All right, we're ready for the rapid fire round!

RAPID FIRE ROUND:

[57:05] Question number one, what are you currently reading or what's your favourite book? 

KT: So, full disclosure I'm not the biggest reader of long novels, I'm a big audio book person I like articles, and that sort of stuff. Okay, being a little bit vulnerable here so something new that I've taken on is. Maybe this is coming because of the lockdown stuff. But, but exploring the world of some steamy novels, and just kind of listening to those and what they mean to me and and exploring that genre a little bit more, you know, and then playing with those fantasies a little bit so um a couple of the series that I'm listening to right now is, is called: Beautiful stranger. There's another one called a beautiful bastard. So, yeah, that's kind of that's kind of fun enough that I'm listening to you right now maybe not my favorite book. But, but, it's what I'm exploring right now.

[58:36] Question number two, what are you currently working toward? 

KT: There's two main things. One is creating a successful business through culture productions that can really support people that want to do the same. And, yeah, do their thing I feel like culture is a place where they can do that. The end game on that is being able to have an exit strategy for that, so I'm building towards an exit strategy, what that looks like, I don't know exactly yet but I know that it's there.

The other thing that I'm working towards or looking for, for me, is like is my person. You know, I'm very open to engaging in that now and having those conversations to build a life with someone so that's something I would say that I'm working towards but I don't want that to come off the wrong way. I know it's worked let's be honest relationships are all work, but I'm sorting towards that right now.

[59:46] Question number three, what do you love most about being a woman? 

KT: The fear of most though being a woman is the essential reality that comes along with us. And how we're able to express ourselves. I love that. The words that anyone can get to use them but. But some of the words that that women have to express our feelings I love I love that side of stuff. 

If we're talking about the nature versus nurture side of things going you know straight up science. I love that we're the nurturing side of things, I love that I can bring that to anything that I'm doing, and still be just as powerful in that position in all the right ways possible. But I love that there's that sort of filter for me about being a woman and I think it's, it's very helpful and is a source of empowerment revenue any woman that wants to tap into it. To use this like innate ability that we have that can feed whatever we, whatever we want to do.

[1:01:06] Question number four: What does empowerment mean to you? 

KT: So for me empowerment is process. I don't. For me it doesn't, it's not a thing it's not an action or single action. And it's not it's not a word for me it's more of a feeling. So, even some of the things that we've talked about here when we talk about being like being comfortable with being uncomfortable. That's empowerment, whatever moves you forward and makes you feel like you can do it.

And you've got this, you're gonna fuck it up I promise you, but you've got this faith and that's it's that mindset and being okay with that. And knowing that there's just lots of energy that you can that you can pull off of to feed it knowing that it doesn't always have to come from you that you're okay to lean on stuff to get into that empowerment position.

But in totality it's moving through that that process. And when you feel empowered. You'll know you'll know when that that switch. Just changes. And from for me and a lot of people that I've talked to you it doesn't typically go away after that. There's walls but it never goes away after that so once, once you kind of get there, then, then you're, then you're good.

[1:02:50] I think that's incredible. The way you describe and define empowerment I feel like that's something you really embody you embody that definition of empowerment, so I just, I want to acknowledge that and I want to acknowledge you and thank you again for coming on the show. I have learned so much more about you today that I that I didn't know before and that's one of the things I love about doing these interviews is getting to know people more but also giving you the space to brag, and like not even brag because you said it's on a break. This is what I do this is what I'm proud of. So I want. I feel like this is a space where you can explain. Maybe that's the word for it and you can really just speak your your truth and your voice and your, your lessons in your learning I learned so much from you today this is incredible. So thank you, you are appreciated and I know that you are going to be so successful in this new project and the production company because you already have everything you need and then the right mindset, and the empowerment and the drive to and the courage, for sure. You are one of the most courageous and brave people I've ever met. to to be successful. So I wish you fun, because I know you're going to be successful. I don't even need to wish you the success I just wish you have a really great time and you laugh a lot and you love every frickin moment of it. Yeah, I just. This was so amazing. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you. 

KT: Oh, likewise, I learned so much about you and honestly even about myself and just just talking about stuff it's so much different way to say it out loud, and I'm looking forward to getting more ingrained in and following you in what you're doing and connecting with these wonderful women that you're, you're bringing to the table and giving them voice and we're just learning, learning from them so thank thank you.

 
Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E97: Overcoming Imposter Syndrome
 
 

E97: Overcoming Imposter Syndrome

This is the 97th episode of the show and when I look back at where it all started, sometimes I have to pinch myself! Is this real life!? Did I really create a podcast with nearly 100 episodes and over 15 000 downloads and super incredible inspiring people who are asking ME to be on the show?!


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[00:59]  WHATT!!!?? 

Well the answer is YOUR DAMN RIGHT I DID! And I have the evidence and the bags under my eyes to prove it hahaha but seriously. Sometimes I hear a tiny voice in my head that asks, 

“Who am I to start a podcast?” 

“Who am I to buy a business?”

“Who am I to empower women in health, wealth, and happiness?”

I know that I’m not alone in hearing this small voice. It’s not just me that hears these questions; or similar questions. It’s everyone. It’s the perfectionists, the experts, and It’s the high achievers.These thoughts lead us to believe that we aren’t good enough, or that we aren’t worthy of feeling good or achieving goals, or dreaming big. This is known as Imposter Syndrome. Typically these thoughts lead to feelings, which result in inaction, and then usually more negative feelings follow. 

However, as someone who is an advocate for a holistic approach to health, I speak a lot about mindset and today’s episode is all about overcoming imposter syndrome. Before we get into some of the tangible practices, I would like to remind you of the importance and power of our minds. The only way we can truly stop the feelings of imposter syndrome is if we stop thinking like an imposter. 

And I hate to be the one to break the news, but mindset shifts aren’t always quick and easy. Especially if we’ve been experiencing the feelings and thinking the thoughts for a long time. 

I will share some key practices, along with examples from my own recent experience in partnering to buy a pilates studio – the full story for a future episode.

You’ve probably heard of it before, “Imposter syndrome” is when you undermine your experience or expertise, devalue your worth, or believe that you’ve only succeeded due to luck, and not because of your talent or qualifications.

If you aren’t nodding your head, raising your hand, or cringing right now, then you might not have ever felt imposter syndrome before, but the chances are you HAVE! And you’re not alone! I most definitely have felt this way, and I know many other people who are successful and incredible and achieving big things have felt this way too.

Allow me to break down EIGHT ways to cope with and overcome Imposter Syndrome.

[3:43] NUMBER ONE: Acknowledge Your Feelings

The first step to changing anything is bringing awareness to the issue or area of concern. Call it out. Call that tiny voice out when it’s questioning your skills, your expertise, your abilities. By doing this, you will also be able to separate your feelings from the facts.

I feel silly, or small, or stupid, but that doesn’t mean I am any of these things. The first time I did an instagram and facebook live I felt so silly. But I had never done it before, I was staring at myself. When I teamed up with my partner to open the new studio I felt inadequate, but she wouldn’t have asked me to partner with her if she thought that, so obviously this wasn’t a fact it was a feeling. 

It’s okay to feel this way. Know you’re not alone, know that it is a feeling and you aren’t defined by it. Know the facts and don’t let these feelings debelidate you. You’ve got this.

[4:51] NUMBER TWO: Release Your Inner Perfectionist

Whenever I notice myself obsessing over everything and trying to make it all perfect, I remind myself that Perfectionism is a Form of Procrastination. It’s great to care about what you are creating and putting out, it’s important to notice details and to do our best – these are signs of a healthy drive to excel. It’s also important to produce your work. 

At the time of this recording, the schedule at our new studio has already changed multiple times. We have added classes, deleted classes, moved classes, and the schedule will probably change again soon. If we tried to make it perfect, we’d never have one up! We created the best with what we had, and now, after one full month of a specific schedule, can make changes based off of all the information we have received.

Which brings me to Coping with and Overcoming Imposter Syndrome

[5:55] NUMBER THREE: Reframe Your Response to Failure & Making Mistakes

They are going to happen. Failures, mistakes, and everything in between. Forgive yourself when you make mistakes. There will be times where we don’t meet our expectations and label something as a failure, which is why it is so important to reframe failure.

Episode 63: How to Fail + Make Happiness Your Compass

 

[6:31] NUMBER FOUR: Rewrite the Mental Script

I mentioned earlier that this episode has a lot to do with mindset. When it comes to our minds there are automatic scripts that start to play out in our minds when we are triggered by imposter feelings or feelings of inadequacy. 

Some examples would be the questions I gave earlier of that tiny voice in my head. “Who am I to be talking into this mic teaching people about imposter syndrome when I woke up this morning feeling unworthy?” Or “Oh gosh I have no idea what I’m doing with this technology, wait till everyone finds out.” 

We can notice these scripts, stop them, and rewrite them. 

For example:

“I am the perfect example of someone who is constantly noticing and improving my mindset and overall health and wellness. I had feelings of inadequacy this morning, and I still showed up to produce a podcast that I have built organically despite not knowing what I was doing when I first started.”

“This technology is new, and everyone who starts something new feels this way in the beginning. I’m learning as I go and smart enough to figure things out, and brave enough to ask for help when I need it.”

Be kind to yourself. Just like mistakes and failures, you will also come across new areas of learning and developing your skills. An expert at anything was once a beginner. 

Coping with and Overcoming Imposter Syndrome

[8:09] NUMBER FIVE: Track + Measure Your Success

Two of my favourite quotes for the administrative pieces of my business are:

“What gets measured is what gets moved.” AND “If you aren’t measuring it, you aren’t managing it.”

There are a number of benefits to measuring different parts of your business, or your life for that matter, but measuring your wins should be at the top of your list! In a previous episode of the Women’s Empowerment Podcast I talked about my daily gratitude journal and all of the things I learned from writing down what I was grateful for each day. I recommend tracking your wins each week and recording them in a place where you can look back and see them all together. Over time you will build a library of EVIDENCE showcasing your skills, expertise, adequacy and worthiness.

Plus when imposter feelings surface, you have a whole list of achievements and wins you can refer to that prove the facts that YOU ARE ENOUGH.

Episode 69: What 365 Days of Gratitude Taught Me

 

Let’s move on to

[9:21] NUMBER SIX: Own Your Accomplishments

When you are reviewing your wins and your achievements, and when you’re reaching your goals, learn to celebrate your success!  

Reward yourself when accomplishing something. We popped champagne to celebrate the new studio. Friends of mine all came out to eat tacos and celebrate this new chapter. I’m still accepting ideas for what the 100th episode of the women’s empowerment show should be but I will definitely be celebrating after 100 episodes!

Pat yourself on the back and say, “I am proud of what I have accomplished” 

As a bonus, say your name aloud. Research has found that the simple act of adding your name to an affirmation can have a powerful effect on how you perceive yourself.  

For example: “I am enough” is amplified as “Valerie is enough” 

 

Coping with and Overcoming Imposter Syndrome

[10:21] NUMBER SEVEN: Visualize Success

Professional athletes and military recruits do this all the time!

Spend some time before your presentation, before your instagram live, before launching your new product and visualize exactly how you will navigate that specific situation successfully. This allows you to prepare for the best and truly embody the energy and gravitas of who you are when you achieve a goal. Tap into those feelings over the imposter feelings.

It also allows you to foresee any risks or issues you may come across and how you can successfully overcome them.

 

[11:03] And lastly, NUMBER EIGHT: Fake it Until You Make It

Think of this less like “winging it” and more like “skill development.” Jump in with both feet, so that you can learn and grow as you go. Stop waiting until you feel ready, your courage and confidence comes from taking the risks! Allow this courage to build as you leap! And re-listen to episode 53: How to Build Your Confidence Toolkit for more tips to make this work for you.

Episode 53: How to Build Your Confidence Toolkit

 
Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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BONUS: Healing & Transformation Through Art
 
 

BONUS: Healing & Transformation Through Art with Marina Billinghurst

Marina’s career in art and fashion spans over two decades. After winning Canadian fashion design awards in her twenties, Marina went on to graduate from Parsons School of Design with a BFA in Fashion Design. She’s also designed and stepped into the Creative Director role for multiple leading fashion brands in Canada and internationally, such as Joe Boxer and Joe Fresh. In 2019, a lifetime of creating original artwork culminated in Marina creating her own distinct aesthetic of dreamy watercolours paired with luscious materials for a luxury collection of sustainable, wearable art pieces.  She calls them Magical capes...


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[1:49] Hey Marina! Welcome to the Women's Empowerment Podcast! Thank you so much for joining me today!… I was thinking about when we met, and I was trying to figure out where exactly it was. It was at the June Motel (in Prince Edward County) over a weekend retreat with the Toronto Business Babes and The Content Planner. I remember seeing you in your kimono with your long blonde hair and you're really tall and colourful and I wanted to know who you were, and I was excited when you started talking to me at one of the lunches.

One of the things I want to talk about today is your personal journey. So you have a pretty intense and very empowering story, and I'd love for you to share that story, in your own words. 

Yes. Thank you, I do have an intense story that's for sure, and I think that's because I've worn a lot of hats and I've been through a lot in my life so far. I'm an artist and designer, and basically started my career want to be a fashion designer. When I was 18 I moved to New York City and I worked in Fashion and I went to the Parsons School of Design, but the journey took about 20 years to get me to where I am right now. So all that happened in between is what made me the woman that I am today. So that's: leaving home, discovering who you are as an artist, that's going through experiences that create who I became and essentially it was all in the last year that it really unfolded for me. 

I guess I'll tell you about how it all came to be. I moved to New York and 18 and basically started my career in fashion design and I came back to Vancouver after 9/11. That was a hard time for me to go back to New York City because the world had changed so much. So I've been through a lot of world changes and sort of drama things, at the time it was so scary so I begged my parents to let me drop out of school and sort of figure out who I am. And when I did drop out of school, in my senior year, I ended up starting my own clothing line which won a lot of awards and accolades, but I was 21. I was SUPER young! I needed up doing that for 5 years and it was amazing but I really had no clue of what I was doing, so long story short, I went back out into the world and I decided to try all the things that were on my bucket list. Because I knew when I was 24/25 I didn't have a social life because I ran a business at that age. I get it because now I do the same thing again because of the experiences that I've had. 

So when I was about 24/25, maybe 26 I just went out into the world and checked everything off my bucket list and everyone thought I was crazy and tried to intervene but I was like, ‘no I want to be in a rock band, and I want to be a yoga teacher, I want to do all these things' because I just had no fear. I could always come back and work for another clothing company or start my own clothing company again. But I was so young and I didn't know about the planet and I didn't know about sustainability, other than the little bit that I had read about. I didn't understand until I had a clothing line and I went overseas and I saw people sewing. I didn't know where this stuff comes from. And when you go to the store and you buy things, you don't know where they come from. 

As I got older I really started to care about that. And I got all the stuff off my chest about wanting to be in a band, and I did it! I did all those things for about 18 months, and I was a yoga teacher for about 6 or 7 years, during the whole experience and yoga is still a huge part of my life. After quitting my rock band I told my parents I wanted to be a graphic designer and I want to design websites and  I want to go to the Art Institute or Vancouver, because I'm from Vancouver. And my parents sat me down and told me that I was going back to New York and you're graduating. So I reached out to the school and asked if they would take me back after 8 or 9 years. Even though they had just changed their curriculum, they allowed me to go back. 

So I went back to New York at 30 years old and I got to do my senior year. So it was a real cool kind of circle story of going back to where I really belonged, but getting the things off my chest that I didn't know if they were the career I wanted. I think there's so much pressure when you're young to pick your degree; decide what you want to do, but really you have to experience your life. You have to try to fly at other things and see what sticks. I am so grateful I had that time and I will never regret going on tour with a rock band and teaching yoga all over the world. I could to teach yoga in Hawaii, Barcelona, and Las Vegas and it was just so amazing! Because when I got my Yoga Certification, I met so many amazing people that had their own studios all over the world and that's so cool and it's just part of my story. 

From there, I ended up going back to school, graduating, and my boyfriend at the time was not able to work in New York so I was looking for a job in Canada, and from my graduation I got a job at Joe Fresh in Toronto. So that's how I ended up in Toronto. I started as a Print and Pattern textile designer and kind of worked my way up. It was amazing to meet Joe Mimran who was such a force in the fashion industry. He started up Club Monaco and sold it, then ended up partnering with Loblaws to great this grocery store brand. 

There were so many amazing things I took out of that experience, and one of them was I really learned about Fast Fashion. And that just tugged at my heartstrings because I remember my experience with fashion and going overseas and I worked with small factories in Thailand, and Indonesia and I was in Bali. I make resort ware, it's always been beachy. So when I worked at Joe Fresh, I got to see the units; 10 000, 20 000. And it just kind of blows your mind. You know, every grocery store around the world is selling these things. And what happens to the product when it doesn't sell? What happens? That's when I started to ask questions, and there were some incidences where factories were falling down and the quality of the work environment wasn't really there. It was just kind of like a weird eye-opener and in the long run it just kind of brought back the fact that I knew I was going to design for myself again, I knew I was going to have a clothing line again, I knew I was going to do something with my art. And I knew it had to be something sustainable. It had to be organic in some sense, I knew the working conditions had to be good. That was sort of my mission statement for when I had to go ahead and create a new product line. I worked for Joe Fresh for a while and then I got kind of pinched from another company who offered me the world, and that's when I started to learn about the work force in a big city. 

When I started to work for other companies, they promise you all this stuff, and you design but it's the same kind of circle. But the good thing is I got bigger roles, and I got more responsibility, and then I had to manage a team, and then I became a creative director. All those things [I kept thinking,] ‘am I read to do this on my own?' and I was just kind of waiting for an opportunity and the Artist Project in Toronto came around and my husband was kind of getting annoyed with me because I had all these paintings, and he's like, ‘They're taking up the whole garage, are you going to tell people you have paintings to buy, or are they just going to be here in the garage forever?' and I wasn't really showcasing myself as an artist. I wasn't really promoting myself as an artist at the time. So I decided to go for it and apply for the Artist Project and I got in off the waitlist! It was 2017 that I did my first booth and I pretty much ended up selling all my paintings, and I lightbulb went off, so from there I, I knew I wanted to wear something at my art shows. 

I had already started designing things for my brother's winery – where I am now – so I had always kept vendors and connections that I knew I could start printing my own product on. My brother was the first person that needed tea towels, tote bags, scarves, and I found a factory that checked off all the boxes. But I wanted a kimono, because I wanted to wear something that looked like my art while I was selling my paintings! So I was like, ‘I definitely have to have a draping kimonos, that's just what it has to be!' Silk, floor length, it has to feel good on this skin. I'm really picky with fabric now as I'm getting older now, it has to feel good on the skin, I don't care how cute you look in something, once it's touching your skin, it has to feel good. So I'd rather have a lot less stuff now, but when I was younger I wanted it all and that's where it kind of came from; that's where it all switched.

I ended up making my first kimono. My husband, when he saw me put it on was like, ‘that is insane, that is so cool, that is amazing.' Then I'd show friends and [they would all] want one. Then I'd wear it out and [people asked me where I got it], so then I ended up making different prints and thinking up new ideas. They were one off prints and really expensive obviously, I'm not fast fashion, so you're paying premium dollar to have one made. 

I went on to more art shows, and the One of a Kind Show asked me if I wanted to be apart of [it], after seeing me at the Artist Project, and this was a dream! I would never have thought they would even allow me in, but I sell my art, and then I make my fabrics. It became a lifestyle of watercolour on different things. I love minimal art with white backgrounds and beautiful watercolour prints. I like that it goes on kimonos, and I sort of just created this Art of Marina Brand. That's sort of where I ended up, and I knew that it had to be sustainable. Marina is my name, and I'm really into the ocean and beaches and resorts. Once I become profitable, I will be giving back to the ocean, clean water, shark free marinas. Everything to do with preserving our oceans and keeping them clean. It was kind of just like ‘whoa, this is actually kind of a brand? Because my name is Marina, I'm all about the ocean and I design resort wear!' I kind of just thought I was ready! 

The One of a Kind Show in 2018 was the last show I did as a creative director. A week after the show, I got into a car accident. So that was when BOOP! Life changed big time! 

This is where the things get kind of weird because, what everyone didn't know (that saw me and met me). I do have a very positive and happy energy and I love everybody and I just see the light in pretty much everyone. But I was going through a really dark time. My husband and me are crazy in love and have been best friends for ever and amazing relationship, and connection; all the things, so blessed! But the only thing we weren't blessed with was having children. 

We just had a slew of miscarriages and trauma that happened to us with trying to have a baby, and so I wasn't going to give up at that point because having a child was the biggest thing I ever wanted. I think sometimes when you can't have something, you want it 900 times more, and you start to go a little crazy. So I actually got to that point. Everyone that was pregnant in the office was a trigger. I started to take away from all the positive blessings that I did have, because of something that I couldn't have. And that's where life got weird for me, because I pretty much went after everything I wanted and worked hard to achieve it. But the crazy thing about fertility and pregnancy is that, that's something you have no control over. And a lot of people can't let go of that, and I was one of them. So when I was in my car accident, I was pregnant, and it was a healthy pregnancy. And it was the first time that I was like finally pregnant, and I got into the car accident. And I was like, ‘Okay the Universe obviously has other plans for me,' and there's not a lot that I can do at this point, other than step back and work on my own healing. 

I've gone through so much healing which is why I'm able to talk about this, and this is why I wrote my book, which I will share with you, is because the hardest thing in the world for women is infertility. When you're trying to conceive, or when you do and you have miscarriages, it's so painful. Hugs and love to every woman who has gone through that. There are so many different stages of women and their fertility and their cycle. Like postpartum and what happens to your body. Women who can't have children, they would give up their leg to have a kid! So when I see women with postpartum and body image and body shaming… hunny I would take those stretch marks, I would take the pain that you went through, I would lose the sleep because it's something that I couldn't have! But this is the mental and psychological thing that we go through as women. 

What I started to do when I was going through my healing, was I realized that, I do have so many other blessings, and if I can help other women who have gone through this, find their light… I want to be that light to say, ‘I've gone through it. I've lost babies. And I'm okay.' Because I've taken the time to dig deep and get the spiritual healing. I wasn't into the whole mediation and taking the time to write affirmations and focusing on the positive energy and the light you've been given. I wasn't into that. I was in corporate fashion, I loved the world, but I didn't have any issues. I worked, got what I needed and moved on. It wasn't until I couldn't have something and then I had a tragic car accident that I legitimately had to step back and find my purpose. 

I did a podcast with Making Smith “A Walk in My Stilettos” One of the things we both took out of that was that Pain Births Purpose. When you read a good story about somebody, or you watch an Oscar winning movie about someone's life, the best stories are the most painful ones, right? Because they overcame and obstacle, and they looked deeper and found their light. I'm grateful for that car accident – in a crazy way. I'm still sad about what happened and I relive it sometimes and I go to my meditation places, and I find a way to deal with it when it comes up, because it does. But I'm grateful for the light that it did bring out in me. In a sense that I was like, okay well I didn't lose my arm, I can still draw, I can still paint. I have time now to focus on nourishing my body, my soul and my purpose. That was [part] of how I overcame the dark side. 

I decided that this is what happened and it is what it is, and I'm just going to focus on why I'm here and what's my legacy? What can I leave behind if it's not going to be my children? Maybe I can leave behind some beautiful artwork that people will appreciate after I'm going. It's weird because legacy wasn't a big word for me until I realized I might not have kids. And you realize that it doesn't matter because it's your life and it's about what you do every day. Every interaction that you have, I could be that woman who gives a stink face to the woman with her children in the grocery store, or I could say, ‘Oh you have beautiful children.' and smile and leave that positive light because I do love everybody and I'm not jealous of other people's children. Because I've come to a point where I'm grateful for my blessings and love [all the children in my life]. I would do anything for anyone, it was a me thing it wasn't a them thing.

[21:54] Thank you so much for sharing that. I could feel my own emotions coming up and I honestly I wasn't expecting to react the way that I was as you were speaking, but it's so important because I love what you said, “Pain does birth purpose.” I think there is some truth to that because not only is that pain… it depends, there are so many layers to it. But when you start to step back, you can really find that purpose through the pain. But if you're so focused on the pain and staying in that “victim mentality” you're not allowing that space and that processing of the pain to bring out that purpose. Like I said, there are so many layers there. And it's a very personal and imitate journey, and going through the layers, getting the help, doing the healing, I mean, I can only imagine how much growth happened in that short amount of time. It's only been a few years but to hear how far you've come since then, it's incredibly empowering. Your story is so empowering. I really am grateful for you sharing that, and feeling like you can share that, because what I think of when I see women like you, who have gone through traumas… it's just this beautiful and incredible story that helps me see someone that I can relate to, and someone I look up to, if they can do it, then so can I. And because you're holding the space for women and people, and using the platforms like my podcast and other shows, and your instagram page, and your kimonos… it's important and it's powerful and we need people like you in this world, so thank you so much again.

[24:24]  I do have some fun questions I'd like to ask you about your story, I'm dying to know, what was the name of your band?

I was in a band in the states and we were called ‘Jaded' I used to have major stage fright, I was always super shy as a kid, I was always so scared and nervous. Trust me, when I was little my mom used to try to get me up on stage in places and I used to get up and shake and freeze. And I still have to deal with that, that's still something else I've overcome, because I became a yoga teacher. When I became a yoga teacher I learned how to speak in front of people. But I'm telling you, my first few yoga classes I was stiff and scared and I did not know how to speak and I forgot all the things, but then again it's about moving into this space of the less you think, the more you're going to do well, and that's art. 

So the band was called Jaded. and it was not my type of music, I'm a very Fleetwood Mac type of gal, I love the classic rock, and I love singer-songwriter and acoustic anything. And I was pretty much in an all girl heavy metal rock band. But hey! It was a platform where I could be someone else, like an alter ego and I could learn how to preform in front of people, so it was pretty cool and I wore leather freakin everything. My friends were like, ‘What the heck is this!?' and I'm like, ‘Just trust. I'm on a mission, I'm seeing if I can be a singer in a band.' The exciting thing is that I ended up going to singer-songwriter mode after I quit the band. I learned that I was not meant to do that. I tried, I gave it 135% or 3000% and the music industry wasn't for me. But I'm so proud of myself for trying and I recorded music and all those things.

[26:30] That's so amazing, and after this, I'm going to get you to send me some of your songs. LOL 

What I also love about your journey that you share is that your 20's are this time for you to explore and try new things, and step into the possibility of becoming an all-leather wearing heavy metal rockstar? Yes I could! And it's that growth of getting out of your comfort zone and learning new things. It's really finally learning and creating who you are. And I love how through your journey, and through your story, you were always coming back to art in some way. That's what I wanted to ask you about next, is this healing power of art that you talk about and share. 

[27:49] What I want to know is, what are some of the ways that we can bring out our inner artist, or our inner creator? 

You know the first thing I would say, like anything else, you need to let go of your inhibition. You have to be free and open to experiment. A lot of people are trying to paint the perfect face or trying to paint something from nature. When I teach my art classes I start with an abstract approach. We just get the brush and focus on the pigment and wanter and just mix it and just watched what happens when you make a stroke. It seems like a junior way, but you kind of have to go back to the beginning to see what that paint does on its own. because abstract art is beautiful. People who are creating abstract art are making millions of dollars and they have no control over what they do, because it's really just about what the paint does. So I like people to stop and look at that. And just get out of your head. Leave your ego at the door, same thing when you do a yoga class. 

You just have to let go and remember that you have to be open and free to what you're feeling that day. So whenever I get a little bit of inspiration, I do whatever that inspiration is calling me to do. When I'm stiff doing something, I'm not going to be really good at it. When you're trying to draw something and your hand is stiff, how are you going to make beautiful lines? You have to relax your hand, and just let it come out of you, loosen up, shake it out and that is when you're going to make beautiful art. When you're locked and tight and feeling like, “Oh I suck!” How are you going to make beautiful art then? It's a mindset of letting go and being free and just trusting that your hands just knows what to do.

[29:54] I think that's great advice, because I feel like the more rigid I am, and the more that my hand is stiff, it doesn't flow out of you like you said, and we're all creators inside so we just need to let it come out, right? How do we get ourselves out of that “I suck” or “I'm not good at art mindset? 

I love this question because what's good art and what's bad art? Go look at what painting sold for $50 million and ask, is that good? I don't know… Art is in the eye of the beholder. For me I like to really just ask my students to really just feel the art. I know this is going to sound cheesy, but it's a creative experiment, and it's a release, so when you're feeling an emotion and you paint that emotion, it's going to dry and you're going to be like, “wow I did that?” It's all about doing it as much as you can until your feel comfortable. Once you feel comfortable holding the brush, mixing the paint, then you can start to experiment with more challenging tasks. 

And that's why with my little IGTVs and tutorials, you have to be patient. It's steps. You will get there, just let go of thinking that you're good or bad, and do it for the process, as cheesy as that sounds. That's what it is. For me it's a release. Some people like to run 10k a day, I like to come home, listen to good music, and make a painting. And just like, let go and stop thinking about the world, and one thing that is so great about it, is that it takes you away from that to-do list, it takes you away from the stress of how you're going to pay that bill, it takes you away from thinking about someone you know who is really ill. It gets you out of the dark side and gets you into the light because you're creating. Sometimes you make something and you can't even believe you made it. The majority of my work I'm like, ‘how the hell did I paint that?' I have no idea, but I did because I tried and I had a positive attitude.

[31:51] I love that, actually during one of your IG Lives when we did the rainbows, I actually make it into a card and gave that to a friend who lost their grandfather that week. It was really special for me to make something and put so much love into. I had never painted a rainbow before, and it sounds simple but it was meaningful. I liked that when people dm'ed you their paintings they were all beautiful and unique. Like you said, what is good art? I've been to places where there will be a huge canvas with a line painted through it, and I think ‘well I could have done that!' So it's so funny. 

What's on your playlist when you're creating art? What are some of the songs you're listening to? 

Oh gosh! You know what I do is I have Title, so I just do that radio. I play one song and I just radio similar music. I find I'm discovering new music. But I am, again, a sucker for the classics. There's something about old music. I listen to The Beach Boys, and the old stuff, like Dirty Dancing soundtrack. I love old music, I don't know what it is!? I'm obsessed with Stevie Nicks, I just love her voice; Fleetwood Mac; and I love Sinéad Harnett. There's no music I don't love in all honesty. Anyway that's just a little bit of what I love!

[33:46] Love that! I would love to share any of your playlists if you have them. When we're ready to create, when we feel fired up I'm gonna put some good tunes on, where do we start when we step into this feeling of ‘I'm going to be creating now' What do we do, where do we start? 

So that's the hard part because I'm so glad I did quit my job and I did become an artist because you get a call to make art when you least expect it. You can have your paints set up and be ready to go, but you're just not feeling it that day, and that's just the reality of being an artist. I think that's the same for being a songwriter, or any medium. Some days just aren't your days. That's why there are so many other things to do when you do art as a business, like when I'm sitting here and I have that feeling come over my body and I'm like, ‘I need to paint birds right now.' Like, I gotta stop what I'm doing and I have to go paint those birds! And I can have folders of inspiration of things to paint, but what I've learned as I've gotten more experienced  is that maybe later I don't want to paint those. 

What I learned when I was recovering from my car accident, I had this calling to paint butterflies. So I just had my stuff laid out on the table, and every time I had a calling I just went and grabbed my paintbrush and I painted something. And I would do it until I felt like I was done, and I would walk away. Then come back and paint another one. The nine magical butterflies were such a huge part of overcoming my trauma, and PTSD, and part of my future, and all the things, they saved me! And it's so weird because it's a painting, but that's when I realized the healing power of art, and magic, and mental health. and finding an outlet to release whatever you're feeling. 

My suggestion to anyone who is like, ‘where do I start?' is get the supplies and put them out and practice, and when you get that calling, just make sure things are nearby. Because sometimes you might allocate time to paint. And I can do it now because I have other things like original art pieces and prints for the kimonos, and different things I can paint. So I can do watercolour Wednesday, but sometimes in the middle of the night I want to get up in the middle of the night and paint something – I'm probably going to do it!

[36:33] Ya, love it. Just take action on it. If you're feeling that feeling just do it! And obviously, get the supplies ahead of time. 

I want to talk about your butterflies. What are the 9 Magical Butterflies? What do they symbolize? 

Basically it was TRANSFORMATION. I had to come from one place to another, and I didn't manifest this. I mean maybe I did, but I didn't know what I was doing. I just painted these butterflies and then I sort of decided to focus on something I needed to overcome while I was painting and creating the butterfly. I don't know why it was 9, I've never been attracted to the number 9, but when I painted the 9th butterfly I was done. And that was it. And then I went back and kind of dissected. So what they are, are basically steps to transforming any kind of rebirth you need in your life. 

So when I painted the first one, it was the FREEDOM Butterfly. My first stop was that I [felt] so stuck. I couldn't get out of my head, I wanted to be someone I'm not, I didn't know why I was alive. It was all the darkest things, you go through so much trauma and your mind is crazy. Your mind says things to you that you don't want to hear. I just wanted to be free. I wanted to be free from hating myself because I didn't want to have children, and feeling inadequate as a human. Everyone can compliment you on all the things, but when there's something substantial that you just can't have, you don't care about [anything else]; you just hate yourself. How do I love myself again? and one of them was freedom to let go of – genuinely let go – of the things I can't change. And I can't change those things. I'm not a bad person because of those things, I need to remind myself that I have to have the courage to believe that life is still beautiful without the things that I thought I had to have. And believe or not it is. So the Freedom Butterfly is the first. And it's the most powerful butterfly because it just proves that you have the ability to admit that you want to change, that you want help. 

[38:43] Then it goes onto the LOVE Butterfly. The Love Butterfly is you want to love yourself. You want to whole-heartedly love yourself so that other people can love you too. Because you cannot be loved without loving yourself. You're not really there. So once you have the freedom to let go, and once you accept that change, and trust in the Universe, then you have to love yourself. So that's the next butterfly. 

[39:13] Butterfly number three is HEALING. Now that you've loved yourself, you have the ability to heal. You have the ability heal from all the things that make you uncomfortable. Sometimes you can't love other people because you don't love yourself but it's because you don't see what it is that's blocking you. So healing is cutting that cord. And allowing yourself to accept others for now the things you didn't love them. Knowing that you might not be able to change them, but you can still love them. So this brings in other people. Taking things slow, and trusting in the speed. You know, the butterfly doesn't know how long it's going to be in the cocoon for, the caterpillar doesn't know when it's going to come out, but when it's ready it does. So that's the healing. You have to just trust that you need time. And that's when I miracle happens. Miracles come from really hard things, right? People pray for a miracle when their life is falling apart, when they thing they're going to die. When they're going to pray to God, they're going to find a Higher Power. That's when miracles are going to come in. Miracles can change in the fourth butterfly. Now you're healing, you love yourself. I don't know where this came from, but it just came out of me one day and I do this once a year now, I go through my butterflies and I do a ceremony. 

[40:39] Hope. Hope is keeping your spirit high, and finding a way to now achieve again. It's like, okay now I'm ready to believe that I can achieve great things. And maybe they weren't the things I originally thought, but what's my purpose? If you don't have something to hope for and dream for, then what's the point? So that's the next step. 

[41:07] PEACE. Peace is forgiveness in yourself, it's being at a point where you're able to accept everything that you are. Peace is a very important butterfly because it's gratitude; gratitude for where I've come. Surrendering to the things that you are. Having Harmony in the world around you. Because we all have so many excuses, all the time, every day. Have peace with who you are. Even if you're in a wheelchair or you can't see, you can play the goddamn piano if that's what you're meant to do! 

[41:55] PASSAGE. Passage is one of my favourite butterflies because we are ever transforming. We change every year, every month, every day. So passage is the butterfly still molding into its greatest self. This could be for someone going through a transformation in life, This could be for still overcoming. There's no sure thing, of I've accepted. You're still transitioning, you're still going through change. So it's they symbol to have positive intentions and a full heart and trust the process. 

[42:38] The HAPPINESS Butterfly is one of my favourites because it's just choosing happiness. A reminder to choose happiness. So every day we come across a point where we can focus on the negative or we can focus on the positive. And it's never a good thing to focus on the negative – ever. Always choose to focus on the happiness. Because ya, someone cuts you off and you give them the finger, and swear at them, and call you husband and tell him how someone cut you off, go to the grocery store and tell the person in line and constantly carrying the negative. Or you could let that [person] in and give them a wave and you're automatically going to feel better. So it's like do that with your life in a general sense. 

[42:23] And FRIENDSHIP is the final butterfly because you are friends with yourself, you're friends with the Universe, you're a companion, you're a comrade, you are able to be trusted. That's one of the hardest things like, are you trustworthy as a human? Why not? why yes? Are you loyal? Do you have love in your heart? Are you going to be there for someone? And in a world of being an entrepreneur and trying to embody female empowerment, there's room for all of us. 

So one of the things that I love is lifting other people up and showing someone how to do something instead of saying, ‘oh sorry hunny, figure it out on your own.' I'd rather always lift somebody up, I'd rather always be that person and know that all you have is your impression. Like when you're a kid and you have an idol and you meet your idol and see them doing something dark, that's it, they're not your idol anymore. it's over. I'd rather always lift someone up and be a positive force. And all those things are a choice. All of them. And trust me, life's not easy. Life is hard. My family's gone through some hard stuff, I've gone through some hard stuff, and just know that other people have too, and you're not alone. The world is full of hardship, we are all so blessed. 

So this whole movement of my 9 Magical Butterflies is pretty much my motto for life. What I love is that with every chapter of this book, you can paint a butterfly. And it's different every time. I do it, and I paint butterflies like crazy because they're so beautiful  and I do abstract, and I do real butterflies, but what I find is that, with each of these butterflies, you can read the book every year, it's kind of like a cleansing to transform. And every time you read it, you and you do the butterflies can have one goal. And you can do as many times to really fulfil the one goal. For me, this book healed me form infertility. Do I have children? No. Am I at peace? one million percent. Did I find my purpose? I sure did. Am I building it slowly and sustainably? Yes! Even if  something else tragic happened I know that I overcame the last one, and this gives me hope that I will be able to overcome the next one.

[45:53] That's so beautiful, you didn't say this before. Are your 9 Magical Butterflies going to be a book? 

Ya! I am almost finished my book, book is a big one! It takes a lot of editing, fine tuning, and a lot of focus. I've never been a writer, but I am a story teller, so however that comes out. I'm working with a really beautiful friend of mine, Karen and she is editing and is like my little fairy godmother pixie who takes it and cleans it up without taking away my voice. So that's the thing I really wanted this book to be really true to me and not influenced by anybody Elise because it came so organically that I want to be able to share and help other women overcome their obstacles and become their best selves. 

You know, I just paint, and what I realized was that the one thing that made me heal, so I chose that blessing to make a formula to help other people. And you don't have to be good at art, that's the thing. This is for everybody: for people who are amazing at art, and for people who have never picked up a paintbrush. When I paint with my nieces, I just love how free they are. I want people to experience the freeness and not to do this for any other reason, but to just let go.

[47:32] Are you calling the book, 9 Magical Butterflies? 

Yes, that is the book. It's basically like my story and a workbook. So the workbook is something you can do once, twice, a million times. But my story, goes deeper into each chapter of the book. So I really talk about where I had to overcome the things I've had to. It was hard to write, it was very emotional, I think I bawled my eyes out for every chapter. 

And to go back a bit, I never wanted to share my fertility struggles. When I first made a post, it was an accident. I didn't want anyone to know that I couldn't have children, I was so ashamed, I was so embarrassed, I felt like a failure, again. It was an awful feeling. And I know that there's a lot of women out there who can relate with me because they just don't understand why. And when the doctor tells you it's unexplained and there's nothing we can do… What are you supposed to do? Jump off the frickin bridge? Because honestly, that's what it felt like. But instead, I was like, you know what, I'm going to write this post and I'm just going to say this is how I'm feeling for myself. I accidentally put it in Hoot Suite and I actually programmed it to be posted and I woke up, and I had my phone blowing up. And I shared that I had fertility struggles and I looked at my phone and I was like OH NO!!! I ran outside to [my husband] and I couldn't believe what I had done and I thought it was really wrong and I was so ashamed that I did the post and he hugged me and said he was so proud and how good I must have felt. and everyone was sending me dm's and telling me how much they love me. And I was so [surprised]. 

But if you share the things that are hurting you, you're going to heal. Like secrets aren't meant to be secrets, they're meant to save other people from their trauma. We need each other. The world needs each other because we've all gone through such hard stuff, and coming forward. That's the first step to healing. Hold that shit inside and you'll never fly. The weight will take you down too far. So that was a very pivotal moment to let people know how good it felt to that I'm not perfect at all. And then I wanted to start to share more, and talk to people who are really struggling and help them find another positive place to put their energy. 

I didn't know I was going to share this much with you, but it's just so much apart of the book and the future, so pain births purpose people! The more pain, the better the story, the better the recovery. We got this.

[50:43] Ya, I love that, and I think it's perfect because it ties into what you said, we need to have that freedom butterfly first. We need to free ourselves from the shame and the holding onto the pain. It might take awhile to release, but if you're not allowing it. If you're not giving it that space to let go, the healing is going to take that much longer. WOW! I cannot wait for this book. When do you think we'll be getting it? 

I actually have picked the release date. It's not until 2021, I have this whole beautiful project I'm doing surrounding it. So I said let's slow down and I picked September the 9th, and they're the 9 magical butterflies and September is the 9th month. The people ‘m publishing with, they reached out to me. Honestly I had no idea but 9 is a magical healing number and this story is amazing, you have a book here. We want more. We want to hear about every chapter. That's how it came to be. Two years after I did the blogpost I'm realizing it. September 9th, 2021. 

People who are interested [in the book] can go to my link in bio instagram.com/artofmarina and sign up for my 9 Magical Butterflies mailing list. I will have beautiful tools for people and a 9 week challenge where before you buy the book you can go on this journey with me, and I'll have videos as kind of a bonus before I release the book, so you can see if it's for them. And prepare you if you want to get your art supplies and things like that, you can be ready. It's a journey! And I just want to guide people to experimenting with art and mental health and finding their truest and deepest purpose.

[52:53] I love it! I'm definitely going to be signing up.

[54:13] I do want to talk about your brand a little bit before I let you go, but one of my favourite parts of your business is that you're Slow Fashion and that you care about the environment. This has been something that has really shifted for me as well. Tell me a little bit more about the sustainability of your brand. 

Yes absolutely, so the whole concept is to wear smart and not fast fashion, like look at a product and see its originality and origin. So each of my pieces is designed and made with love and I use luxury sustainability. So really like eco friendly fibers biodegradable my inks are non toxic, they're slow fashion, like, people should understand and learn that term mass fashion is made from toxic inks. Master production synthetic fibers that will pollute the planet, and so on. 

All my prints are engineered and designed as a placed fringe so essentially they fit each garment. I do not print bowls of fabric, when you put bolts of fabric, things are cut and there's ways there's waste in the, in the fabric there's waste in the inks. There's just waste. So when I, when I print each kimono they're printed separately and then they're sewn, so really it's just so like there's no waste. 

And that makes a huge difference in the long run because not only is it ethical and sustainable it's non toxic games but now there's no waste so really you're buying a piece of art, you're buying something that will last and, you know, environments thought about. 

We use mulberry silk, and we use model. Model is made from beech wood trees, so it's also like eco friendly and biodegradable it's cooling and antibacterial, so it was silk mulberry silk is the best silk it's just beautiful on the skin it cools it doesn't make you sweat up like, if you see like a kimono that's made out of like a poly silk. I'm breathable, you will sweat, it's, it's not good for the environment it's like man made fibers it's all the bad day, so it's luxury, and it's beautiful. And we're original so my, my art is my art, nobody else has it, I make limited quantities of my kimonos and most of them are made to order. So, next year I'll be releasing all new prints so all the ones I have right now will no longer be available. And it's just the wife couldn't create new, and then you'll realize when you own one of my pieces that it might never come back real numbers and I will have, you know, limited edition so 100 of each print, but these are all stepping stones and that's where I want to get to. 

My values, align with the planet. So, obviously, as I mentioned in the beginning of our reporting is just the ocean, the sea, the animals that thrive in the world, and on our planet are my inspiration, so of course I want to keep the planet healthy and vibrant three years and I want my kids to go to Hanauma Bay and Hawaii and snorkel and actually see fish and I want, you know, the sharks to stay in the ocean and not be just taken out for their fingers like I want the planet to stay beautiful so once I have a profitable company to the point where I can give back. I will be giving back to those charities so sciama, you know, clean water programs so I'm resourcing and finding sorry not resourcing I'm sourcing and learning and educating on where that money will go because there's so much charity that it's hard to find the right ones so as I'm growing and I've doubled my you know revenue last year even through a pandemic people are supporting local and it's amazing. So now I'm like Okay How can I not just be organic and ethical but how can I now give back to the planet, and obviously it's going to be related to the ocean and the seas, and the animals that thrive there because that's what inspires me the most.

[58:32] Because that's what inspires me the most. I love that that's so perfect so actually last year I dedicated the entire year to not buying any clothes because I was so appalled by how many clothes I had and how much of it was fast fashion. And I just kept telling myself like, I don't need another pair of yoga pants like I don't need any more clothes. I can't keep looking at this massive closet full of clothes and saying, I have nothing to wear like ice there's so many options, why, why am I feeling programmed to to believe this so I dedicated the entire year to not buying any clothes and it wasn't as hard, it was, it was crazy like it wasn't as hard as I thought it was gonna be but it was really interesting and how like I had to really prepare like I had to like unsubscribe from different clothing stores and different and unfollow different pages online and then I really wanted one of your couple knows, and I was kind of like well it's supporting local business. But then I found out about your sustainability and how yours, like it's slow fashion and I was like okay well you know what this is something that is, it's something so beautiful It's art. And now that I have it like I love the way it feels. It's so beautiful. It feel I feel good to wear it and it was one of those things where I'm like I bought this knowing that I'm supporting your friend I'm supporting a local business.   

I'm not contributing to environmental waste like I would have if I bought fast fashion. And the way that it makes me feel and it's like that intention behind what you're purchasing and it's made me more mindful so I absolutely love it and I'm like, I want all of your pieces. I don't know if I can afford every single one of them and I'm like oh no, don't, don't, don't get rid of all the prints because I love them so much but I also can't wait to see what else you create because I know which is going to be so amazing so thank you for sharing that. And I noticed that a lot of your pieces have to do with like nature, whether it's flowers or palms waves, and even animals in nature but is there anything else, or someone or something else that inspires you to create or something right now maybe that's going on.

[1:00:48] 100% I started with fashion illustration right so when I was younger, I've always been obsessed with beautiful women. I've always been obsessed with the women like I just love femininity, like my favorite artists were Alphonse mukha from, you know, like that our new bow style with the lady is four seasons and the women with fruit everywhere and hair. So, an all and to slip track with like dancers and Edgar Degas with the ballerinas like I've always been attracted to femininity. So, my first ever inspiration were models in magazines like I just was an author of beauty so that's where I started drawing was like I wanted to try to draw the faces. 

And I've always had role models and even though my mom's friends growing up, I'd be like Auntie, you know, Carrie who and Auntie, you know, Lou who would come over and those women would inspire me I've always been really attracted to the power of feminine energy. So, I'm part of my concept is girl power. Wearing magical capes that make you feel beautiful female empowerment quote. So I started drawing up my, I'm not a type I request I just scribble out, you know, the future is female and all that powerful feminine clothes that I put them up in those style, more than my watercolors so it's kind of amazing that female and feminine energy is a huge part of my inspiration. So, I want to just constantly attract people who have positive intentions and core values and, and always just be a female feminist power empowerment section where planet major I'm a nerd sure I'm not a mother but I want to nurture the planet with love. And so that's my way of being mom kinda because it like I have my animals and love just inspiring others, and so yeah female empowerment women of all ethnicities. 

I love painting. Every single woman on the planet so if you go through my Instagram you'll see there's all times. And then, I like the fantasy aspects. So mermaid unicorn, and to be. I was very much in love with all the Disney movies like Cinderella, and the Little Mermaid. I definitely still have that magic in my heart and I like to create the unicorns and all things like that because I do have a fancy side so that's about it it's a little bit fancy a little bit of answer and a whole bunch of girl power.

[1:03:36] Amazing, totally perfect for for the show. Okay, let's get into our rapid fire round I'm gonna ask you four questions, are you ready?

I think so I had notes with like stuff that I don't know I'm just gonna freestyle this.

RAPID FIRE ROUND:

[1:03:49] Even better. Question number one, what are you currently reading or what's your favourite book? 

Okay, so I just read Untamed, Glennon Doyle, I read a Marie Forleo's Everything is Figureoutable and all those last two that I read. I'm into these like Girl Power stuff and both amazing books.

My favorite book is probably The Alchemist, just love that book I read it all the time, every few years. And I also love a good bio so one that really resonated with me was Phil Knight's Shoe Dog is the story of Nike, and I just loved how he had kind of the same. There's a lot of similarities in the two of us. Obviously I didn't create Nike, but I loved that it was a journey of one man, and it took a whole bunch of people to get to where you want to go. Well, and believe in themselves, that takes a lot arresting a business owner and spent a lot of money and I believe in myself so that was a really great book to read about true story about an entrepreneur. But Glennon Doyle is like my favourite now, I'm obsessed with her.

 

[1:04:54] Question number two, what are you currently working toward?

Oh, I'm working on my book. I'm trying to build this store in the wine country of Naramata. A little bit of licensing or learning about sharing my art with other people and opportunities, and I'm really trying to do more collaboration. So, I would love to make Kimon's like visco kimonos, or other women, like, I want to make one out if there's somebody out there who wants a custom kimono come to me it's not always about making a line so I really want to work with strong powerful women and make them their magical cape that they can wear on stage or wear at home in their house, or you know whatever sore more collaborations with awesome women.

[1:05:50] I love that I have some ideas, and I will talk about them later. Question number three, what do you love most about being a woman?

Oh, that's a tough one, I can't believe I didn't know that question was coming. What I love most about being a woman is my feminine energy. It's my ability to love. It's m heart. I cry all the time, I am very passionate, I love to nature.

[1:06:22] Question number four: What does empowerment mean to you?

It means staying true to who you are, no matter if it feels wrong. Glennon Doyle talks a lot about that inUntamed. So for me it's like, even if everyone else doesn't agree with you but you truly believe in what it is. Stand true to yourself. That's the empowerment. 

[1:06:48] Thank you so much Marina!

INSTAGRAM | @artofmarina 

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Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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BONUS: Levelling Up Our Leadership Skills
 
 

BONUS: Levelling Up Our Leadership Skills with Sonia Grossi

Sonia is a life and leadership coach who helps ambitious women who are feeling unsure and frustrated figure out who they are and what they want.


Sonia also works with organizations to grow and develop leaders and teams to reach higher levels of impact through engagement...


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[00:59] Welcome to the Women’s Empowerment Podcast Sonia, I am so thrilled to have you on the show! Thank you for being here. Can you share with us, in your own words, who you are and what you do?

This first thing that comes to mind, is that I am somebody who my entire life has known what I wanted. It's very easy for me to know, so I'm very ambitious but I am also very clear. I am 32, I am single and ready to mingle – depending on who it is. What I do is I'm a Leadership and Life Coach, that's one part of the work that I do, and the other part is Corporate Facilitator/Trainer so I do a lot of work in the GTA/Toronto, Ontario area. 

Basically I'm all about transformation. So what that means is I give people an experience where they can come together, feel connected, learn form each other, be vulnerable with each other. I create these spaces so that people can feel comfortable enough to go there, and that's what leads to the transformation they're seeking. In a nutshell that's what I do and how I do it.

[2:45] What I love about your story, and your journey is that it’s powerful and relatable. Walk us through your business journey: beginning, middle, and where you are today.

Before I started my business officially, I was working in corporate in different companies in Ontario, Canada. Kind of as a HR person and Training and Development Specialist – that's what I went to University for. And I started to notice, in any company that I was in, I felt – and when I say this it's both me and the organization, I'm not blaming one person or the other – but I always felt a lack of respect, I felt not being seen all the time, I felt disconnected to people, it was very competitive. You would ask for things like “can I take this course for $200, I've been here for three years?” and the answer would be “No, we don't have money in the budget for you.” So inequality, because you'd see people in other roles getting what they want; at least that's how it seemed.

I didn't want to feel the lack of respect and the lack of value any longer and the lack of integrity. This went on for a while. By the time I turned 25 years old, and I'm 32 now, I kind of had my “spiritual awakening” so to speak, where I was becoming more conscious with what was going on with me and outside of me. I didn't know who to seek to for support, I didn't have a coach, I couldn't really reach out to my family because they're very conservative Italian first generation type of thing. So I ended up working with a councillor. I remember going in and saying, “I have reached my quarter life crisis and I don't know what to do!” It was all of this stuff with the guys I was dating, my friends were being dramatic, and [the councillor] was like, “Whoa!” 

It started with my lack of boundaries, it started with, this is how I'm feeling about this, this is how it's impacting me, this is what I need. I was very passive aggressive, I didn't know how to manage my emotions. It was like going to basecamp at 25 of things that I just didn't learn as a kid/child/adolecent. So that's when I started to really uncover and really be aware of what was going on with me as a person, and also how the outside world, beyond me, was then reflecting what was going on inside of me. And that's a really tough pill to swallow. Because as much as I wanted to blame other people, you kind of have to look within the self and what's going on.

Twenty-five was my rude awakening, and also becoming more conscious at the same time. Also putting some pieces back together from my own journey. I remember what sparked the business idea for me. I had hired someone for the company to deliver a training workshop for us. She came in, we interviewed her, she was charging a lot of money, I watched one of her workshops, and I was like, “WOW! This seems really easy for her and she's very talented about this facilitation skill.” And me and her had a really good working relationship, she ended up being my mentor, I now currently work for her, we met in 2012. 

She really encouraged and inspired me to be A) Happy in my work, because I was not. I remember her saying to me one day, “It doesn't have to be so stressful, and it's okay to find work that you actually love doing.” And I was just like “Whoa. Why is nobody telling me this?” Because everyone [else around me] was like, “No just stick with it! You have a stable job, you're making good money! It's so hard to find a job in this market!” All the negative stuff people project on you. But something inside of me was saying, ‘There's got to be a way to do this, why is this so hard?” 

Fast forward… I did a few contract jobs in between, but I also started to create my own content and leveraged my own network and reached out to people telling them about what I wanted to do, and asked if there was any space in their organization for something like this? Along the way a few people helped me out. They helped me build my portfolio and build my brand, and I got payed for it, so that was pretty cool too! 

Here we are today, I am a certified coach, I work with a number of organizations. I get to work 1:1 with clients and really coach them, and really show people my message: you don't need to settle for mediocrity. You don't need to settle. I always thought I had to settle because a lot of people in my life were telling me, “This is how you should do life; this is what's expected of you; who are you to want more?” But when you go and move towards [what you really want], you realize slowly but surely, it really is possible. So that's what I teach others now.

[10:54] Knowing what you do now, what would your best advice be to your younger self, when you were just starting out?

I would say, *laughs* I think there's a lot I would say, but what comes to mind is, “Have a conversation with yourself Sonia. Hear what your younger version of yourself (pick an age) and tell her, it's going to be okay. You know what you want, and other people's opinions are based on what they already know, and they also – most often times – don't have the full awareness to be able to give you the advice or opinions that you want to hear. Nothing really good begins, unless you take charge and step out of your comfort zone and take risks.”

At that time, there was a lot of risk-averse people giving me their opinions in my life. It's just looking at being risky and going after what your real heart wants. It's okay, and it will happen with time, consistency, and commitment, and it's not going to be as hard as you think it is.

[13:45] Tell us about some of the biggest mindset challenges you’ve faced through this time. How did you overcome them?

My kryptonite mindset was money. Money was my HUGEST obstacle to all of this. I did not want to give up the stable pay cheque. I did not want to give up the perks and benefits. I was saving for a home at that point, and in terms of how I grew up that's “what you do” and what “you should do.” Me investing in things like a coach or education was really hard for me to do, because it felt like I had waited so long up until that point to find a full time job, get paid really well and start saving. I hadn't done that until I was 24/25. I would say was the biggest challenge I had. 

However, it got to a breaking point where I had one of two choices: you can hold on to this thing and find another job, but I also knew internally that even though I had the stability and it made me feel comfortable and safe, I also knew that even though I was saving money, I didn't actually want to buy a house anyways. So what do I actually do with that money? I had some chunk of change behind my belt now, and I actually ended up quitting my job without a job – which is something I was not trained or taught to do – and I started investing in a coach and going back to school, and continued to do that.

I think the way I overcame it was, I had to ask my question: “If I don't want this thing (the house), what could I do with this money instead?” So I had to look at then, what is MY vision? What are MY goals? What intrinsically do I value? And education was the thing. And it started to pay off! I actually started seeing results! It's a little bit of surrender, it's a little bit of letting go of the fear around money, and that “I won't make it back,” or “I won't make enough” and letting go of that story. And even though you may think you have stability, it's never actually certain. Nothing in our life is actually certain.

[17:05] How has letting go of judgement allowed you to make more money in your business?

Two things: Letting go of judgement with YOURSELF and the judgements of OTHERS. I would say, I had a big fear of rejection, that was probably one of my big ones. I didn't want to do a training and then people have bad reviews about it. I didn't want to coach anyone because I didn't want to know if nothing was happening. There were all these tapes in my head about being rejected in some way. But when I worked with my first coach in 2016, she actually supported me in sharing her story about [rejection]. She had a client hang up on her when she first started coaching because he wanted nothing to do with her. So it was listening to other peoples “failures” and they didn't perceive it as a failure because they said, “this is what happened, and this is what I learned.” 

It was changing my mindset around: I can still fail, I can learn something from it, and I can be better! Which made me more risky I would say, and yeah, I failed A LOT when I first started. I did have the bad reviews, but it taught me SO MUCH about myself, about my impact, about how to improve. [Eventually] you get to a point where you have to let go to the voice that tells you not to do x, y, z, because that voice doesn't serve my Higher Self. 

The biggest thing for that is aligning yourself with people who are willing to share their successes and failures, that is a beautiful gift and experience. 

[20:15] For the listeners who are facing struggles with creating and maintaining boundaries, what are your best tips for overcoming this challenge?

It depends where each person is at this this. So if I look at a point in my life and in my journey where I had zero to none when it came to boundaries. I kind of had to do an inventory of what were something or who were some of the people that were taking up my time, and what was draining my energy? What activities or people in my day was draining my energy or taking up too much time? Who was expecting me to do things that I didn't really want to do, and felt obligated to do. So it was doing an inventory first. What's really going on outside of you, and how you're really feeling about it. That's number one. And you'll be surprised of how much stuff you're doing that you don't want to do, and write that out form 1 to whatever. 

For example: I used to be the person who would drive my friends because they didn't have a car. I would be the designated driver, I'd have to pay for parking, and I hated it. It was not an enjoyable experience. 

Taking inventory of all of that stuff, personal and work related. The second phase is start saying “no.” Don't even explain yourself. Don't apologize, don't explain, don't over extend. “I don't want to do this, thank you so much for thinking of me.” Those would be my first two tips. Inventory and start saying no to things you don't want to do. 

You'll probably experience people, not liking your “no's” because you probably haven't been saying no to them for a very long time. So it's a new experience for them. So just know depending on how people react to your new found “no's” that it's a new experience for them, and also know that the people that are meant to be in your life, professionally and personally, they will learn to respect what it is you need and then honour you as a person.

[22:24] You coach leaders to engage leaders. What are some key characteristics of a great leader?

I would say INTEGRITY is probably one. Integrity to me is “this is what I say, this is what I believe, this is how I feel, and I'm going to be transparent about it.” And I actually walk the talk. It comes out through my behaviour as well. I don't just have ‘lip service' I actually live that way as well. 

The other thing I think a great leader really has is OPEN COMMUNICATION. Always wanting to talk about what is going on with the people they lead or with their friends, whoever. They're always open to having a conversation about what's going on. 

VULNERABILITY would be another one. When I go into a corporate room and do a training, the amount of barriers and people with their guards up – rightfully so – this is not a judgment on them at all. I'm usually a new external outside person and people are [wondering who I am], the walls and the guards are up. Sometimes the only way I can break that is if I show up vulnerably. So vulnerably gives other people permission to be themselves and to feel like they belong. Sometimes in leadership I see that's a missed mark for a lot of people because they feel like they can't be vulnerable. They don't want to share too many things, they don't want to talk about their feelings, and so there's a lot of stuff going on in that. But when we learn to be comfortable with you we are – flaws and all – and we can come from that place with other people, it releases tension with our relationships and people are [relieved to be with] a really person, “it's like a gift!” 

Then there's the corporate-y stuff, like making good decisions and delegating, but I truly believe it comes to who you're being as a human and what your impact is on other people. Start to learn about what you impact is with other people. How are they responding to you? What does their body language say when you walk into a room? You've got to pay attention to these things because it will show you who you're being, just as a person in a room. So really looking at what your impact is and maybe unintended impact. Sometimes we do things that we aren't aware of and we don't intentionally mean to do it but it comes perceived a certain way from others, so look at that stuff as well. I guess that solution to that would be, ask for feedback. Constantly ask the people for feedback with how you show up. And it will really help.

[28:29] How can we Up-Level our leadership skills?

The first thing is start asking the people in your life for feedback. Get comfortable with feedback, get comfortable with “constructive criticism.” You want to design how you receive feedback. You actually have permission to design with anyone.

Ex. “I would like some feedback of how I'm showing up, or how I did on this presentation?” Or whatever the scenario is. “And here's how I would like the feedback: I would like to know what I did really well, what you noticed about what I did really well, and I would also like to know, what could I improve?” and you're allowed to ask for both, because both will give you some really good information on what you need to improve and what you're really good at. That would be number one: ask for feedback. 

The second thing is start looking at the professional, and even personal, relationships you have, and take a look at how you want to deepen those relationships. Look at the inventory of where that relationship is at, and ask how you can you deepen those relationships? Because what happens when we build really trusted, aligned, intuitive, feel good relationships – professionally and personally – that support network that you grow and develop and nurture, it helps you out so wonderfully! It will bring you access to opportunities that you didn't even know were possible. Leading you to have more impact in the world. 

Invest in yourself. Whether it's investing in your self care, investing in a course, investing in a coach, whether it's investing in a trip that you've always wanted to do. Invest in yourself. I've never really be disappoint in anything I've invested in professionally or personally.

[31:08] What are core values and why are they so important?

Core Values are basically like qualities that each person really, really respects and admires in a sense. Every person on the planet has a different set of core values, and even though maybe my top 5 are the same as someone else's, I may actually value them differently than that person and it also might have a different meaning to me than that person. For example, one of my top two values are connection and community. So when I am in spaces where I feel like I am part of a community. I know I am most alive and I thrive in those two environments. When I am not honouring those values, for example, and I am choosing different things outside of community and connection, whatever that might be, I don't actually feel as good as a human. 

What I always encourage people to do is find out, “what is most important to you, really?” Is it: balance, alignment, respect, honesty, transparency, integrity? What are those things that are really import to you? How you can usually identify that, is what in your life is making you frustrated? And what in your life is creating a lot of joy? So usually when there are experiences in your life where you are feeling a lot of joy, or you're feeling happy and fulfilled, you're most likely honouring a ton of values. And on the flip side, when things are making you angry, irritated, frustrated, annoyed, there's usually things going on that you're not honouring in terms of your values. 

So it's like you're actually making other choices. So basically, in a nutshell: values lead us to live a fulfilled and happy life, it does not mean that life is going to be easy because we are honouring our values, it just means that we will be more fulfilled. And it's like a guiding post to what choices we can be making for ourselves to feel good each and every day. 

With anyone who is new to values work, it's going to be a lot of exploration in the beginning for sure.

[36:21] Can you teach us how to discover what our core values are? How can we start this process in the next 24 hours?

There's one of two ways, I'll give the short versions of each way. 

The first one is “Peak Experience.” Basically, what you want to do is think about a time in your life, could be from a memory when you were five, or it could be as recent as today, for example. But a time in your life when you felt the most alive, the most joy, the most happy, and it's an experience, a moment in your life when you felt all these things. And create that picture of what was going on, who was around you, what did it feel like? What were you doing? So for me when I did that exercise it was my 19th birthday and I realized things like: celebration, there were 18 people there and it was a large group of friends, I remember it feeling really easy. I didn't have to pull teeth or beg or ask people to pitch in, it was just very easy and flowing experience. So some of the values that showed up were kind of the things that I just said: “flow, celebration, leadership, easy.” You'll want to start picking up some values that were present in that experience in my life. Pick out some of these words that you see in that moment, or that experience, and look at “how do I make choices moving forward to honour more of those values in my life?” And get creative and explore.

The second thing I would say, is the inventory piece. Take a look at, in the last few months, what were some things that I felt really good about? And what were some things that didn't feel so good? So you said that when quarantine happened you couldn't travel anymore, so your value of travel wasn't being honoured anymore. But then you found creative ways to honour it in a new, different way like adventure, and new uncharted territory like in your own backyard kind of thing. So you want to look at both ends of the spectrum, what has felt really good and what has not felt really good? And pick out things within both of those things are either being honoured or not honoured and make that list. And then again, you want to start making choices that then honour those things that you really like.

[39:30] Typically with our top core values, we try to bring them into the top five. Can those five values change over time?

Yes, the most certainly can. So basically based on where you're at in your life, what's going on, what stage you're at, who you're surrounding yourself with, they will definitely change over time. I feel like there isn't one person's who's values won't change over time. So you have to pay attention. It's like right now I'm going through the phase of transition. There is stuff going on internally with me, and it's like “wow, things that I used to care about, I actually don't care about as much any more, I care about different things.” And that's a really cool realization to kind of have and experience, and we get so tied and attached to who we use to be. We don't want to give it up but we're changing, we're evolving, we're learning, we're unlearning.

[41:04] What are the best ways we can honour our core values?

#1: Definitely knowing what they are.

#2: Noticing where they're showing up and where they're not showing up. As an example: there have been some recent acquaintances in my life that I've aligned myself in the last few years and I'm noticing, because I have a high value for things like integrity and transparency. So when I'm with someone I know who isn't being transparent or who is out of integrity with me, it really bothers me. So I have a few choices: I can say something to the person, “Hey, I'm kind of sensing you're not really being honest with me right now, what would you say about that?” I could call it out. OR I could make another choice. I could choose to not worry or care so much as I was before, I can limit my time with that person. I could limit my time with the people who don't have that stronger value within them. 

So you want to start noticing where these values are showing up and where they're not. Each and every day is not going to be 100% honouring all your values, I think that's humanly impossible, but you do want to make choices as much as you can to have more consistency of honouring your values each and every day. So it's like, “Sure I could spend 40% of my time worrying about the friend that';s not as transparent as me, OR I could take back some of that time and use it and spend it with people who do have the same values as me and I'll feel a lot better to be honest.

[44:44] Sonia, thank you so much for being a part of the Women’s Empowerment Podcast. Before we wrap up with the final segment, let us know where we can find you, follow you, and how can we support your business?

INSTAGRAM | @inspiredbysonia

FACEBOOK | Sonia Grossi

LINKEDIN | Sonia Grossi (wearing a red, professional shirt)

WEBSITE | www.SoniaGrossi.com

To support me in my business, I'm usually doing webinars or trainings where I'm talking about a specific topic like values for example, or boundaries, or different leadership topics. So you can join me on any one of those!

RAPID FIRE ROUND:

[46:24] What are you currently reading, or what’s your favourite book?

Currently Reading: Me and White Supremacy by Layla F Saad

[47:05] What are you currently working toward?

I am working towards not working so much, and being more of a human rather than being a human that always has to do things.

[47:31] What do you love most about being a woman?

I love being sexy. Like honestly I think women have this power that either realized or not, we have so much power as a woman out there in the world. For me it's this sexy feminine, knows what she wants go getter clarity, it's almost like, there's so much power beyond me physically that I can harness at my disposal. So it's kind of like an energetic thing. And it's almost really easy like a magnet. Like I can magnetize certain people or opportunities to me, using my femininely and woman-ness and it's really really cool.

[48:47] What does empowerment mean to you?

Yes. Empower I feel is like, feeling really really good about doing something. It's not from a place of “I should do this/I need to do this/ugghh” it's not that feeling. It's like “wow I feel so supported! I feel so good! I feel so inspired! I actually feel motivated to move forward.” Right. It's almost like having your cup filled up completely, and taking action from that place.

 
Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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BONUS: The Power of Positivity & Building Social Engagement
 
 

BONUS: The Power of Positivity & Building Social Engagement with Ingrid Deon

Today I get to share this intimate, motivation, and educational chat with Ingrid Deon, your social media expert...


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00:45] Welcome Ingrid! Ingrid started her career as a journalist and worked at CBC Radio as well as several newspapers. In 2015, she made the jump to social media and was Manager of Social Engagement at a digital marketing agency in Halifax and Toronto.

She started her own business in October 2019 and has worked with clients such as Nestlé Canada, Manulife Bank and Cove Kombucha.

Ingrid! Welcome to the Women’s Empowerment Podcast! Thank you for joining us on the show today. I’m so excited for us to discuss positive mindset and building social engagement! 

Before we get into today’s questions. Tell us more about your very empowering story: from single mother living under the poverty line, to financial and occupational freedom as an entrepreneur!

Back in 2009 Ingrid had her son. When he was three years old, Ingrid's husband of 10 years, up and left. It sounds sad, but Ingrid turned it into a positive. At the time that he left, Ingrid was working a seasonal job at a museum and wasn't making a lot of money. She knew she had to start doing something to keep a roof over her and her son's head. So she hustled.

She got a year round job and also started side projects to make more money. Ingrid is a knitter and she would sell her knitting patterns and also some of her knitting creations. Because she lives in rural Nova Scotia, Canada it was hard to come by journalism jobs so she had to work at the museum and side hustle a bit.

Eventually she got an interview in Halifax at a digital agency, about a three hour drive from where she was. At the interview she told them, “in an ideal world, I would work from home and drive in 1 day a week.” This was so that she could be at home with her son. The job was for copywriting and social media coordinator when she first started, and they agreed!

She took the job and learned tons about digital marketing, became the manager of Social Media of Halifax and Toronto and climbed the ranks of the company. After a while she was seeing how much the company was charging the clients, verses how much she was actually making form all her work, she thought that she could do this on her own.

One of her best clients, Nestle Canada, really like her and followed her when she went off on her own. Her business grew, and she has now reached a point where she is turning away people so she wants to scale her business so that she can hire people out to help her.

[5:49] It is clear that seeing the positive in everything is a strength/super power of yours. For the times that everything feels really tough, and for when we’re struggling with a negative mindset, what are your best tips for overcoming this struggle?

When her ex-husband left, Ingrid felt totally blindsided. It was really, really hard. A few days after he left, her best friend came over and she said, “we're going to make a list of all the good things that could come from this.” So they did and making this list cheered Ingrid up so much! From tiny things like ripping up an ugly carpet, to bigger things!

Ingrid loves making lists, and found that this was so helpful to her. Ever since then, whenever something tough is happening or she's feeling down, she spins it into a positive. It's similar to a gratitude list or a gratitude journal. Even if it's a mental list of what you're grateful for and what good can come out of the situation.

[9:50] How can we avoid falling into or getting caught up in negative mindset traps?

Putting a positive spin on whatever low moment you're in. Sometimes presenting it to someone else can help you see the positive that maybe you're having a hard time recognizing in the moment.

Ingrid doesn't worry any more because it's a complete waste of energy, but when her son worries, she asks him, “okay what's the worst thing that could happen? And what are you going to do if that happens?” Then you've addressed the worst case scenario and you also know what you're going to do about it, and that's her way of dealing with avoiding getting caught in the mindset trap.

[11:58] Do you have any daily routines or healthy habits that you do every day? Can you share behind the scenes of what they are?

Ingrid finds that making stuff puts her in the right kind of mindset. She can knit while on a call and there's a satisfying sense of accomplishment with knitting. She gets the same sense of accomplishment with cooking and baking and it cheers her up. Her big self care routine is making stuff.

[14:04] For someone who is feeling like they’re at rock bottom, but ready to make a powerful mindset shift, what words of wisdom would you give them for turning things around?

Write lists of small things to feel better about yourself. Small things that will make you feel better that you can do could really help you turn things around. Keep the list somewhere you can see it and take action on the list to make you feel better.

 

Business & Social Media
You give excellent business advice as well. Let’s switch gears here and chat about business and social media. The business you’ve built for yourself today helps other businesses. 

[17:02] First of all, tell us about your business and it’s name! How do you help businesses and why did you choose the name “Word Craft”?

Like she mentioned, Ingrid is crafty. Her business doesn't have to do with crafting, but it's a huge part of who she is. Also, writing is also kind of like a craft. Word, is because she's crazy about words and grammar. So she put the two together!

Word Craft helps businesses, of all sizes, that are struggling with their social media create a plan based on their goals.

[18:56] Let’s talk about social media engagement! What does that mean? Why is it important for our businesses?

On a basic level, engagement is: likes, comments, shares, clicks, etc.

The various algorithms on social media platforms all really prioritize engagement. If Facebook, instagram, or linked in or whatever it is sees that your post is getting a lot of engagement, the algorithm will send it out and show it to more people. Ultimately if you want more people to see you, your goal should be to build your engagement. 

[20:20] What are some best practices for building engagement on social media? Walk us through the steps.

#1. Having a Call to Action on your posts.
You're telling your audience what to do. You can put this into the actual copy of the post.
Examples: double tap if you agree, send this to a friend who would find this helpful, send me a dm with your thoughts.
And every time they take this action, the algorithm notes that this post is “engage-worthy” so we should make more people see it.

#2. Proactive Engagement
Social media is a two way street, you want to engage on peoples posts, not JUST have people engage on your own. It could be five or ten pages where you write a meaningful comment on their post. Whatever you can manage, because every little bit helps.

[22:34] How can we convert an instagram follower into a new customer or client?

Make sure you're always thinking about your ideal customer and putting yourself in their shoes when you're creating content. Have a clear plan, post consistently, post with purpose. Use content pillars, themes or buckets to help you map out your content and map them up with your goals. 

[24:22] In terms of our Call to Action on our posts, are we doing this on every posts?

You could put it on every post, you want to use them often, but you don't always have to use them. There isn't a rule, but they can get old if you have too many. Make the call to action meaningful to you, your business, and also for your ideal customer.

HOT TIP:For Contests, ask a meaningful question for your contest and the comment is the answer to your question. It's easy and it's free market research and it build engagement. 

[30:53] Hashtags: Do you have any tips, tricks, or hacks to simplify the hashtag strategy?

You can use up to 30 hashtags per post, and you can use them all if you want, but there has been some research that says you can use 9-12 to get the most engagement. Have a mix between relevant to industry and to your ideal customer, as well as “niche” hundreds to thousands of times, and “high performance” hashtags that have been used millions of times. 

Different hashtags for each type of post. Experiment with groups/sets of hashtags based on your content pillars. Use those a few times and check your insights to see how many people are coming to your post via your hashtags. The sets that are performing the best, those sets are good! The ones that don't have a lot of impressions via hashtags aren't doing well and you can change those and experiment with them.

[35:27] Is there anything else we need to know before we start putting these actions into practice?

Have a plan. Decide what your goals are for your social media and have a plan for those goals. Figure out your call to action and how often you're going to use them. Be intentional, Be mindful. Post consistently and post with purpose. Once you have a plan you can start to implement your proactive engagement and your hashtags and engagement strategy. Build relationships. Social media is about being social.

 

Listener Questions

[37:45] Candice asks: How to make social media a positive tool for business and self?

They key is to not let it make you crazy. Create boundaries for your social media.

For your business have a plan and know why you're even on social media. Leverage social media rather than just being on social media.

[40:34] Josh asks: If you would invent a new social media platform, what would it be like?

Ingrid loves the visual aspect of Instagram and used to use Flickr all the time it was more popular. She also likes the connections on LinkedIn and it seems like people are more excited to engage on LinkedIn.

[43:53] Where can we find you, where can we follow you, how can we support your business?

INSTAGRAM | @wordcraftingrid

FACEBOOK | wordcraftingrid

LINKEDIN | Ingrid Deon

WEBSITE | www.word-craft.ca

Rapid Fire Round

[45:45] What are you currently reading, or what’s your favourite book?

BOOK: The Seven Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle by Stuart Turton

BOOK: Building a Story Brand by Donald Miller

[46:45] What are you currently working toward?

Ingrid is working toward hiring someone to help her with her growing business and workload!

[47:56] What do you love most about being a woman?

Pretty dresses! There's nothing like wearing a cute dress! It makes Ingrid feel good, it's fun, and it looks nice!

[48:38] What does empowerment mean to you?

It's doing things for myself. Ingrid comes from a long line of empowered women and shares this beautiful story of her grandmother's leadership and empowerment. 

 
Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E91: These 3 Mistakes are Holding Us Back from our Creativity
 
 

E91: These 3 Mistakes are Holding Us Back from our Creativity

There have been a lot of ups and downs creating and maintaining the show, but I receive some incredible messages and emails about how the podcast has inspired the listeners and positively impacted people, and I have to say it is what keeps me creating this show. Thank you so much for listening, for reaching out to me through the site, and for connecting. I am incredibly grateful for each of you…


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[1:07] My intention for today’s episode is to inspire and uplift your creative muscles! Lately I’ve been noticing my own creativity and inspiration move through extreme waves. I feel a burst of energy and ideas one week, and then it feels as if everything deflates or disappears the next week.

I reached out to friends and colleagues for solutions and support and was quickly reminded that this is part of the creative process, and that we’re all experiencing these waves in our lives and in our businesses.

As I was journaling about my experience I found this piece I wrote almost three years ago:

“There are days where I feel as though I was born to create. This feeling is a combination of thought and movement, mind and body. It feels as if my physical form is being taken over by a creative spirit. Or an inspired energy is being downloaded into my mind, and everything I think that I know, all my fears and doubts, all of that surrenders to this burst of creativity and I flow with it.

When I let go of my need to control I become a vessel for creativity. I feel no panic or pain, and I feel no resistance. I am moved and molded into any and every form until the thing that wants to be crafted is created. But there are times when my need for control gets in the way of creativity.

It’s almost as though I want to create something so desperately that I no longer become a clear channel for this creative spirit.” 

Reading this calmed me. I know that I am a creative being, we all are, in our own unique ways. All we have to do is slow down and step back, and return to our innate power, rather than try to control the experience.

In my own experiences and teachings I have noticed three mistakes we often make that block our creativity. Today I am sharing those three mistakes, as well as creative solutions to avoid and overcome them. Cuz you know me, I’m all about solutions!

[3:38] Mistake Number One: COMPARING

With more and more people online and creating content, it’s so much easier to fall into the comparison trap! Instagram is the highlight reel people! Even I need to be reminded of this sometimes.

As a business owner and content creator, I know how much effort goes into curating the instagram feed, and showing up in stories, responding to dms and emails. Producing a weekly podcast, serving current customers, finding new customers, and putting together a really beautiful website and everything else that goes along with it!

It’s a lot of work, and most people only see the flashy frontend of a business. They don’t see the blood, the sweat, and the tears of the backend hustle, grind, and grit.

Comparing the backend of your business, or life to someone’s front end of their business, is exhausting and a waste of time and energy. It is hurtful to your spirit and it’s the number one mistake we make when it comes to channeling our creativity.

Here’s the creative solution:
The next time you find yourself comparing your programs, instagram page, work, or even your life to someone else's' – don’t.

You can’t compare your behind the scenes to someone else’s produced work. Know that their finished product took time, effort, money, coaches, discipline, failures, mistakes, and so much more to get them where they are today, we just don’t see that part of their business (or life) all the time.

Focus on where you are at in YOUR journey, and the inspired action steps you can take to move forward.

Another creative solution for avoiding this trap is to create BEFORE you consume. Avoid podcasts, social media, even reading before you start creating your program, instagram post, podcast episode, etc. Your creative channel is open and coming from you, not your mind trying to keep up with everything it just absorbed after 30 minutes of reading or scrolling.

You can also create after a movement practice. Yoga, working out, dance breaks are all really great ways to move stale energy in your body and get the creative juices flowing!

 

[5:58] The second mistake we make that blocks our creativity is: COMPETING

My dad used to tell me, “There are no original ideas. The only difference between the people with the same ideas, is one person will follow through with that idea, and the other person won’t. You can choose which person you want to be.”

Elizabeth Gilbert shares an experience in her book, Big Magic, about an idea she had for a book that she put aside and months later another author/friend of hers came out with an almost identical novel to her idea. She describes it as a creative idea that left her body and went into the other person’s because the idea wasn’t being born from Elizabeth so it decided to move to someone else.

Trying to compete with another person holds us back from taking action. We’re so busy worrying about another coach, another business owner and all the things they are doing and offering, that we aren’t creating our own offers. We start to show up desperate and anxious, that we completely forget about our core values!

Honour those ideas by creating an inspiring action plan and then take action.

A creative solution to stop competition is:

When you feel the need to compete with someone else in your industry – don’t. It doesn’t matter how similar your ideas are, you are not the same people and you both have different strengths and styles.

Remember that you are unique in your own way. You might have a similar idea or offer, but the way you share it and serve your clients is special because it’s coming from YOU!

I am a yoga and pilates teacher. Do you know how many yoga and pilates teachers there are in the Greater Toronto Area?!? A LOT! I don’t waste any time competing with them because I’m focused on my own style and showing up as MYSELF, and not trying to be or keep up with anyone else.

Creative solution number two: let go of judgment and hold up a mirror. In episode 44 I talk about a judgement detox that I use and teach. It’s all about releasing the negative thoughts or comments about someone and instead seeing them as a mirror to ourselves.

Now when I see a similar wellness leader in the industry showing up in a really big and powerful way; making waves; taking leaps; doing really awesome work, I applaud them. Because what I see in them, is also what I see in myself. I see their grit, I see their perseverance, I see their passion. I also see my own grit, perseverance, and passion.

E44: This Judgement Detox will Blow Your Mind

I actually have three creative solutions for this mistake. The third is: invite your competition to collaborate with you. A lot of my friends work in the same or similar industry as I do. They have their own stories (possibly similar) ideas, and a skill set that might be different from mine. Instead of competing with them, I invite them to collaborate with me. This way we can work together to help more people with their lifestyle and health goals.

Always always always remember that there is someone out there waiting for YOU. They are waiting for your message, your story, your voice. They want your energy, wisdom, and your taking on an idea. What are YOU waiting for?

[10:27] The third mistake we make that holds us back from our creativity is: COMPLAINING

I’m not even going to pretend that I don’t do this. YIKES! And out of all three mistakes, I see this one the most. Complaining can feel sooooo easy, but if we spent as much time creating as we did complaining, or worrying, or overthinking, we would have a lot less to complain about.

Complaining is exhausting; it’s a major waste of your creative energy.

So let’s cut straight to the creative solutions instead of complaining about how bad complaining is…

The next time you catch yourself complaining about something – stop!

Bring yourself back to why you started working on your projects. Come back to your core values. Centre yourself on what is important to you. Make a list of everything you are grateful for in your life right now. There are so many other things we can do than complain. I’ve actually created a list of empowering questions we can ask ourselves and I’ve included it as today’s freebie! Get your list of empowering questions with the yellow button below.

Another solution, or possibly it’s a tool for measuring how often we complain is something I learned back in high school. Put a stretchy band or bracelet on your wrist – something you can take off and put on easily. Start with the bang on your right wrist. Each time you catch yourself complaining, move the bracelet from the right wrist to the left. If you complain again, move the bracelet back to the right wrist, and so on.

Doing this helps bring awareness to how often you complain and eventually you’ll get in the habit of thinking before you complain out loud. You will also notice when, what, and with whom you complain.

[13:41] Now, when you find yourself searching for creativity, notice which of the three big mistakes you are making. Consider the solutions I outlined, and choose the best one for you! Remember to take action on your plan. Even if the plan is to incorporate more self care into your daily routine!

Remember to grab your list of empowering questions and take your time as you journal your responses!

 

Download the FREE List of Empowering Questions

Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E90: Q&A: dōTERRA & Essential Oils
 
 

E90: Q&A: dōTERRA & Essential Oils

It's our 9th Q&A episode! Here are your dōTERRA & essential oil questions answered...


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[1:30] #1. Val, there are so many essential oil companies to choose from! Why do you onlyuse dōTERRA?

I get this question all the time and I love it, because dōTERRA is the only essential oil company I trust and the only one I purchase from for five main reasons:

1. Transparency

If there is anything I look for in companies I purchase from, especially larger ones, it’s their transparency. dōTERRA has fully transparent third-party testing on all their essential oils and products. If you check the bottom of your dōTERRA essential oil bottle, you’ll find a code where you can use at SOURCETOYOU.COM and learn about all the chemical constituents of that exact batch. 

There is no hiding with dōTERRA, no BS, only the highest quality oils. Here’s also what’s so great about their outstanding transparency: other essential oil companies do not like this, it keeps their CEO’s up at night because they know they can’t offer the same level of honesty to their customers. 

dōTERRA is truly the leading company in the essential oil industry and natural health space.

CPTG Quality & Testing

Source to You

2. Sourcing

dōTERRA has the most incredible global co-impact sourcing model that serves countries, families, women, and small businesses all around the world. One of the countries they work with is Guatemala, which is a place that has my heart as I have visited and travelled there a few times. I was so excited when I found out dōTERRA sources their Cardamom from dōTERRA and even more excited when I learned that Cardamom was one of the oils in my most favourite blend: Easy Air aka Breathe. Knowing that this single bottle of essential oil is not only helping my health, but also people in Guatemala was really game-changing on how I wanted to be involved with the company. It’s one of the reasons why I decided to become a Wellness Advocate and sell essential oils.

dōTERRA Co-Impact Sourcing Trip Guatemala

Healing Hands Foundation Guatemala

The other part of their co-impact sourcing model is that they cut out the middle man to provide better relationships, proper pay, and more opportunities for their sourcing partners. This is really powerful in making a positive global impact, and this is really important to me in creating a better world.

More information on dōTERRA’s Co-Impact Sourcing: https://www.doterra.com/SG/en_SG/difference-co-impact-sourcing 

Not only that, but they’re sourcing plants from their natural habitats where they grow and thrive naturally. Sure, Canada has the infrastructure and resources to grow lemon trees, but they don’t naturally grow here. A lemon from Brazil, or Italy however, that lemon is going to be much more potent and pure, and easier to harvest and grow. The sourcing model is sustainable. 

dōTERRA Lemon Essential Oil

3. Leadership

The team leading dōTERRA believes in the integrity of their product and their company. A team of great leaders who want to empower their employees, partners, and customers to up-level their health, wealth and lives.

dōTERRA’s Seven Founding Executives

4. Culture

At my first convention I was really ready to “drink the Kool-Aid” as they call it, but the truth is, I walked into a warm and welcoming community of people with core values of health, and helping others that aligned with me and my values. So many people have been willing to help me succeed and grow and support one another in this community. 

There are also so many resources to support customers and advocates in dōTERRA, here are some free ebooks 

5. Compensation

I’ve done my fair share of research into a variety of network marketing companies and few compare to dōTERRA’s very generous compensation plan. I have been so grateful for this level of compensation, even more when my “day job” took a dark turn when studio’s shut down and I wasn’t getting that pay cheque. I still had residual/passive income coming in from helping and teaching people how to use and purchase their own oils and natural solutions. 

[11:33] #2. How do you use essential oils?

Episode #35: The Simplest Ways to Use Your Essential Oils

There are four main ways to use essential oils:

1. Aromatically

This is the most common way to use essential oils. You can place oils in a diffuser, you can add a drop to your palms and create a hand diffuser by cupping your hands and taking a few deep breaths, you can add oils to a cotton ball and place it in the vent of your car, you can add them to a dryer sheet for a fresh scent for your laundry, you can make a mister spray and spray a room with a blend you’ve created. 

2. Topically

Most oils can be used on your skin. Some uses for these types of oils are for glowing skin, soothing sores or muscle tension. You can also use the oils on your hair and nails to support your health that way. I like dōTERRA’s ZenGest (aka DigestZen) on my belly to help with bloating and tummy trouble.

Essential oils can be readily absorbed into the skin and some really popular areas for using the oils are: soles of the feet, pulse points, and the spine.

They make for great PUREfumes, and you can also use them in a moisturizer, bath salt blend, or for a hot/cold compress. (In question #5 I’ll share more info about best practices for topical use.)

3. Internally

You can ingest some of dōTERRA’s essential oils. Some of the benefits of internal use are:promoting healthy cell function, supporting gastrointestinal health, maintain healthy immune function, or internal cleansing benefits. They’re also great for adding potent flavours to food and beverages! 

This is dōTERRA's excellent free ebook that talks specifically about internal use.

4. Environmentally

The fourth way to use essential oils is environmentally. This is similar to topical, however I’m speaking specifically to surfaces other than your body. The most common way to use oils environmentally is through green cleaning! Making household cleaners, sprays, and recipes as well as recipes for wood polish are some of the ways to use dōTERRA’s products. Here is the link to the Green Cleaning eBook I created for specific recipes! 

Mister Spray Recipes: @vallavignelife

dilution-chart

[14:57] #3. What do I need to know about using oils safely?

This is a great question, and if you’re new to essential oils, you’ll want to listen up!

One of the reasons why aromatic use is the most popular way to use essential oils is because it is the safest. You can diffuse and smell oils all day long.

Topical and internal use, there is a little more you’ll want to understand, especially depending on the age of the person using the oils since oils are so potent. I’m going to share an oil safety usage chart in the show notes page for you and this will explain how many drops you can use for adults and children topically and internally. 

Some best practices for safe essential oil use are:

Always read the labels. This is the easiest way to know if there are any warnings or recommendations made by the manufacturer

Avoid certain areas. Inside your nose, ears, eyes, broken skin, or other sensitive areas. I totally got peppermint oil a little too close to my eyes and I teared up for a while before it stopped irritating my eyes.

Dilute oils to minimize skin sensitivity. The chart that I’ll share on the show notes page will have information on how to dilute the oils. A common way to dilute oils is with fractionated coconut oil, which is a type of carrier oil. I’ll talk more about this oil a little later in this episode.

Know your strong oils. Some essential oils should always be diluted before putting them on the skin such as: Cassia, Cinnamon Bark, Clove, Oregano, and Thyme. 

Be careful of sun sensitivity. Some essential oils are photosensitive and pose a risk for sun sensitivity – mostly citrus oils! These oils include: Bergamot, Green Mandarin, Grapefruit, Lemon, Lime, Tangerine, and Wild Orange. This type of warning should be on the label. Avoid direct sunlight or UV rays for at least 12 hours following the use of these oils.

dōTERRA oil safety guide

More dōTERRA safety info

[18:24] #4. Blending Essential Oils

There are several questions I get when it comes to blending your essential oils. Like… 

[18:34] How do you blend them?

Short answer: you put a couple drops of the oils in the diffuser, cup of epsom salts, or in a roller bottle and voila! Your oils are blended. 

If you’re not sure which oils blend well together, you can google or pinterest search different oil smells that compliment each other. I also have a few books that mention which oils blend well with the oils in the books. I will be sharing these books and a few other resources in question #6.

The other thing I do is take off the caps of the oils and hold all the tops in my hand and smell them to see if I like the oils blended together before I actually put them in a roller or in the diffuser. If you like some oils more than others you can add more drops of the oils you like, and fewer of the oils you don’t necessarily love and still get the benefits of all the oils together!

[19:38] What are your favourite diffuser blends?

I can never choose just one favourite diffuser blend. There are so many great blends out there and I actually made a freebie called: 108 Diffuser Blends. Use the big yellow button do download your copy!

But since we’re here, one of my favourite diffuser blends is “Liquid Sunshine”
4 drops grapefruit
3 drops cheer blend
1 drop peppermint

[20:13] Walk us through the process of creating an oil blend for ______.

This really depends on what kind of blend you want. For today I’ll use the examples of sleep, mood, and pain.

The first thing I do is get out my Essential Life Book. I look up the ailment, body system or focus I want to support and check out the oils. 

[SLEEP] So when I go to the “sleep” section of the book I can see the top solutions, I can get more specific with certain conditions, and they also have some remedies here with specific recipes I can use.

Here I see that Lavender, Vetiver, and Roman Chamomile oils are great for sleeping, and since I have all those oils I’ll open the bottles, smell them and create a diffuser blend. Since I like Lavender the best I’ll add a few extra drops of this in the diffuser along with Vetiver and Roamn Chamomile.

[MOOD] When I search for “mood” I find the Mood and Behaviour section of the book and here I see more oils. Beside the oils it tells me a little more about how it supports the mood. For example it says lavender calms and relaxes, increases the ability to express feelings. WIld orange and tangerine melts away anxiousness and energizes. Cedarwood grounds, promotes a sense of belonging and being connected socially. Bergamot helps increase self-confidence. 

With this information I decide that I want to make a roller bottle for purefume and I mix these five oils together in the bottle. If I don’t know how many of each oil to put in, I will sometimes do equal parts or decide that I want a more earthy tone to the blend so I’ll add in more woody oils or I’ll put more cedarwood in the blend.

[PAIN] For our last blending example, let’s talk about pain. There is a section in the book called Pain & Inflammation. You can get more specific on what sort of pain you are in and this will help determine which oils would be best to use to support this type of pain.

One of the remedies in the book is for a sore muscle soak: mix 4 drops of black pepper, 2 drops of rosemary, 1 drop of ginger into ½ cup epsom salt. Add to a bathtub of hot water and soak for up to thirty minutes. Remember to drink lots of water while soaking and thereafter.

I like all of these oils and I also like lemongrass, and from my own personal experience and research I know that lemongrass is supportive for the joints, tendons, ligaments, and lymphatic congestion so I will add some of that to the muscle soak as well!

More than anything I find that what’s important is if you find a list of 5 oils that are beneficial and you have 3 of them, 3 is better than none. PLUS! A lot of oils have many benefits and can be used in multiple ways, like we saw with lavender in sleep and mood.

[24:56] #5. What are carrier oils and how do we use them?

Carrier oils are base oils and are named because they “carry” an essential oil to the skin. They are used to dilute essential oils before applying them directly to your skin. Typically they are cold-pressed oils that are produced from fatty portions of a specific plant.

Some different carrier oils are:

Fractionated Coconut Oil
This is the carrier oil I use the most as it is light, doesn’t go rancid and leaves no residue. It’s great for all skin types, however I do not often use it on my face, unless it’s a roller blend for headaches which I use on my temples and forehead.

Almond Oil
Almond oil is popular for soothing dry or irritated skin. It’s slightly oily but great for beauty and other health recipes. 

Grapeseed Oil
This oil is best for delicate skin types. It’s commonly used in cosmetics and is relatively odorless.

Jojoba Oil
This oil closely resembles natural oils of the skin. It’s waxy and more expensive than other carrier oils, however it has a non-greasy feeling and is odourless.

Olive Oil
Olive oil is a well-recognized carrier oil popular for hair. It is high in vitamin and mineral count but it is very heavy, oily, and has a strong odor.

To use these carrier oils will depend on what you’re using them for, however the simplest way to use them is to add a tsp of the carrier oil and your essential oils (see the dilution chart in the show notes page to know how many drops of the oil to use) and then massage it into your skin or area of concern. 

You can also use them when you make roller bottle blends. Add the oils to a roller bottle, top with the carrier oil. Close the bottle up, shake well and easily use topically!

[26:59] #6. What Are Your Favourite Resources for Learning About Essential Oils?

dōTERRA.com

There are a lot of resources on the website all about their specific essential oils.

Books

The Essential Life Book, which is also available as an app

Emotions & Essential Oils 

Advanced Oil Magic 

The Essential Oils Hormone Solution 

Renegade Beauty

Instagram

Searching the hashtag #doterra or #doterraessentailoils has gotten me a lot of great information and accounts to follow

Pinterest

There are endless essential oil recipes here, simply search whatever you’re looking for, and you can add “doterra” onto that.

Podcasts

Essential Oil Solutions with dōTERRA 

Healthy Essentials Podcast w/Lindsay Mustard 

Essentially You Podcast w/Dr. Mariza Snyder 

Hol:Fit Talks w/Ange Peters 

[28:48] #7. Which Essential Oils are a Must-Have? How Do We Choose Our First Oils? 

Excellent question! These are all great questions, and to be honest they all answer differently depending on the person. When choosing your first oils, you want to invest in the ones that support your most immediate health goals. Since we all have different health goals, our collection of oils will look a little differently.

What I suggest is writing down all your health goals across the top of a page or spreadsheet. Then, research which oils support each of your goals. Write or type the oil names or oil blends out under each goal. Once you’ve created a list of oils for each of your goals, notice which oils show up in more than one list. Start with those oils.

If you prefer, you can focus on one health goal at a time and choose a few oils that support a single goal. 

dōTERRA has a very popular enrolment kit for when you’re just starting out called the Healthy Essentials Collection and it is amazing!

It comes with dōTERRA’s 10 most popular oils and blends like:
Peppermint, Lavender, Lemon, Copaiba
On Guard, Easy Air, Adaptiv, Balance & Deep Blue

It also comes with their latest petal diffuser and is perfect for anyone who is really interested in taking control of their own health and elevating their wellness and their home environment. I use all of these oils almost every day. Not just in the diffuser, but some of them I also use typically or internally.

The link to this kit is: Healthy Essentials Enrolment Collection. If you use the link, it will connect you to my wellness team and anyone who purchases this kit will also receive a 1:1 wellness consultation with me. This is where we discuss how to use these particular oils to support your health goals and really create rituals and routines to elevate your health.

[31:04] #8. How Do You Use Essential Oils in Your Daily Life?

This is a question I get often, and I also post a lot about this on my social media. It’s a question I can answer in a lot of depth so I decided to do so in a podcast episode. A couple of week’s ago I published an episode called Elevate Your Daily Routine with Essential Oils and I answered this question and more.

Episode 88: Elevate Your Daily Routines with Essential Oils

 

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Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

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Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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BONUS: Tapping into the Unconscious Mind to Manifest Dreams and Avoid Burnout
 
 

BONUS: Tapping into the Unconscious Mind to Manifest Dreams and Avoid Burnout with Shirley Zhou

Today I am super excited to introduce Shirley Zhou the Co-founder of The Burnout Clinic, Shirley Zhou empowers women entrepreneurs under high pressure to achieve work-life harmony and live their joy!


At The Burnout Clinic, she uses therapeutic interventions to address mid to late-stage burnout...


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The Burnout Clinic 

[1:20] Shirley! Thank you so much for joining me today for another incredible bonus episode, I am so happy to have you here! For those listening who don’t know you yet, tell us about yourself, and your journey to finding and creating meaningful work.

Journey started off when Shirley was in school for Child and Youth Care, when she was learning about burnout and self care because it is very predominant in the field. However little did she expect that she would be experiencing burnout. A lot of times it's when we're so passionate about what we do. For Shirley she has always followed her dreams and built careers on her passions and what she loves. While following her dreams she was recognizing patterns of burnout.

The Burnout Clinic understands that burnout is a systemic problem that is more prevalent, especially as technology advances, the world is moving quicker and demanding more. At the Burnout Clinic they work at helping individuals recognize it and change the way that we work so that it's more empowering.

[3:00] Tell us more about the unique methodology and approach you use on your clients, and why it’s so impactful?

The Burnout Clinic has two approaches. The first is a 2-day therapeutic intervention in Belize, and the second is 1:1 coaching to learn tools to help you move forward.

The 2-Day Breakthrough is a deep dive into your unconscious and understanding the root cause of your burnout. The first day is an intensive session with several questions to uncover current problems in all areas of life. From these stories and experiences, we look for patterns and see which limiting beliefs are so deeply rooted and connected into each of these areas of life. Once we release this, there is usually an overwhelming release of emotions.

On the second day is where mental and 5 base emotional release are done (anger, sadness, fear, hurt, and guilt).

Coaching can be an add on or a separate method. Some will need coaching or help with accountability, and the life moving forward could need support to move forward.

[7:36] Who would benefit most from the services you offer?

2-day Breakthrough: Anyone at rock bottom. 
Examples: Someone experiencing a recent divorce; anyone who's imposture syndrome has stopped them from taking action; someone who's anxiety is impeding their life; when a person is really fed up and has noticed patterns repeating and health/relationships/or career has come to a halt.

For coaching, it's more for anyone who is mildly impacted by their unconscious mind, or their limiting beliefs, or their emotions.

[9:15] Let's say we're not sure which category we fall in, but we know we need help. Where do we start? How do we work with you?

You can book a free consultation on the website: www.TheBurnoutClinic.com 

Most limiting beliefs are because of internal conflicts and most of these can be released within a 30 minute coaching session.

[10:44] This is more of a personal question, but since I learned this information I’ve been dying to ask you! What was it like to trek to the base camp of Mount Everest!?

Shirley describes herself as a very curious person by nature, and soon discovered that this experience was a learning lesson as well. She hikes and portages regularly in Ontario, Canada and was excited to climb with her friend.

Within a few days she was experience negative side effects of the altitude sickness medication, along with other elements of the hike. One of the reasons Shirley likes to challenge herself and why she went for the journey because she knows that when you're alone and putting one foot in front of the other, you don't have anyone else aside from you and your thoughts. She would ask, “how do I break my mental self down… and then to pick myself up?” She would grow so much more form these experiences, looking for the next mountain to climb.

[13:07] Talk about mental strength and a healthy mindset! What were the thoughts going through your mind, and how did you overcome the mental and physical challenge?

Before you even start trekking you have to take the shortest and most dangerous runways in the world and the plane needs to land there and you start there. So it's an exciting adventure! In the beginning you'll notice your body starting to get sore, and it's easy to encourage yourself to move forward and keep one foot in front of the other. 

The next day you do it all again and this is where you have to work on your perseverance and the mental challenge and requirement comes into play. As you start getting higher in altitude it starts getting harder to breathe and this is where you have to be more gentle with yourself. Taking breaks before you need the break, and being okay with that, even if everyone else is sprinting ahead. Listen to your own judgements to yourself and stop comparing yourself to others because this self talk doesn't serve you.

Around day four or five Shirley broke down. It was cold at night and she was just with herself thinking “shit, what did you sign yourself up for!?” You might have a little panic and break down and cry like Shirley did, but she found her mental cheerleader and after her release she picked herself back up and brought awareness to what cheers her on and keeps her motivated to go the distance.

[17:35] How is it that some people can challenge themselves with these incredible climbs and go through this mental and physical challenge, yet when they're faced with starting their own business, or another example that is a lot less life-threatening, how do they overcome those stuck spots?

A lot of it is fear. When we're not taking action, it's based from fear. Our thoughts that we're aware of are in our conscious mind, but the root perpetuating it comes form our unconscious mind, that might be coming from a childhood or past experience. We all want to avoid anything that is painful. It doesn't have to be physically painful, but thinking of all of the parts involved in building a business, or making any change to happen, there is a lot involved.

There are four requisites of change:

#1. The Release Work: releasing the fears, limiting beliefs, negative emotions

#2. Set Your Goal: that is supported by your unconscious mind so that you remove the self-sabotage.

#3. Take Action: when we don't take action, it's because it goes back to the fear; what root is holding us back?

#5. The Focus: understand where you're putting you focus so that you can reach your goal

[20:28] Candice asks: What are some ways to tap into the unconscious mind?

One of the tools Shirley likes to use is HAKALAU, which is a Hawaiian word and means “a state of being” similar to being in “the zone.” This is what it means to be connected to your subconscious.

To get into hakalau physically, it is connecting your focus and then expanding your focus and tunnel vision into your peripheries. From there we are more connected to our parasympathetic system, we're out of the fight or flight and we're a lot more calm and centred, and this is where our unconscious mind can naturally just flow out.

TRY IT! Wiggle your fingers in front of you at around 11 o'clock and 1 o'clock, while keeping your focus on the space in front of you, choose a focal point. Gradually pull the fingers back and notice how focused and relaxed you feel. You can change your focus and also do this without your hands.

The Unconscious Mind

[23:05] For those who want to experience a deeper connection to their unconscious, what would your recommend for them?

You can use hakalau, at the same time, the unconscious mind is like a muscle and it needs to be strengthened. Asking the unconscious mind if it's okay for me to do this release and trusting, and listening so that we can recognize what is coming up for us.

[24:14] You're saying the word “Action” a lot, and this is something I teach in my coaching; it's that action is where the magic happens. Let's talk about manifesting and the unconscious mind! When it comes to manifesting our dreams and goals, where do we start? Walk us through the steps.

When we talk about energy, there are four bodies and three selves: 
Higher Self, Unconscious Self, Conscious Self
Spiritual Body, Mental Body, Emotional Body, Physical Body

When we talk about manifesting, a lot of times we're bringing something down our four bodies from spiritual to physical. We have to move through each body before it manifests physically for us. The mental and emotional blocks and fears are what stop us from taking action. These need to be cleared and unblocked before we can manifest.

[27:57] Rubani Asks: about the mental and emotional process and how to change your mind to think something else when it’s been accustomed to a whole different way of your life?

Shirley uses Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) 
Neuro = Mind
Linguistic = Language
Programming = similar to an App on your phone

These are neuro-pathways of our mind, like a manual for our mind. Using NLP we can change the neuro-pathways and support the unconscious mind to going in the direction that we want. It's scientific and efficient when it comes to making changes in our life.

[31:50] Is there something you do, to get out of your own blocks, like a morning routine?

Shirley meditates every morning, as a way to set the tone for the day. Before each going call she grounds and make sure she feels centred. Shirley also journals. Using a mind dump page to help her bring awareness. THEN she blocks off time to actually do the work, not just the awareness of the block, but actually removing it or planting a new belief.

In the evening she sits with herself and checks them off.

[33:54] How long does it take for someone to get over a specific block, for example, procrastination?

20 minutes! The coaching call is an hour and there is some pre-work before using the tool. The changes are difficult in the conscious mind, not in the unconscious mind.

[39:69] Candice asks: Are there ways we can recognize and prevent burnout?

Burnout is when you expend more energy than you can replenish, as a habit.

At a low point it's a feeling of deep and dark sadness or low energy. But you can also recognize it in different areas of your life like your health, career, relationships. You're cynical, anxious, reactive, doubtful, etc. You're not showing up as your best self and it's effecting relationships. So there are a lot of signs. 

At the Burnout Clinic they focus on the mid to late stage where self care just isn't enough.

[44:35] Where can we find you, where can we follow you?

INSTAGRAM | @theburnoutclinic

WEBSITE | www.TheBurnoutClinic.com

[45:18] Is there anything else you'd like to add about the unconscious mind or The Burnout Clinic?

The unconscious mind is always there to support you. It's a very powerful tool to harness with the right techniques, and it's not complicated or scary. Being able to harness that is where your empowerment comes from, because you get to take responsibility and ownership to then make the changes that you want.

The Burnout Clinic, if you're interested in our services, get the BOOK: Mental & Emotional Release by Matt James and Tris Thorp this will give you more insight into the process.

Rapid Fire Round

[46:55] 1. What are you currently reading, or what’s your favourite book?

AUDIO BOOK: Beyond Mars and Venus by John Gray

[47:08] 2. What are you currently working toward?

Personal health and fitness, and abundance

[47:20] 3. What do you love most about being a woman?

The balance between the masculine and feminine energy and finding that fit, and it's always shifting ant it's a beautiful dance. 

[47:35] 4. What does empowerment mean to you?

Empowerment is recognizing that you have the ability and power to make the changes and to live the life that you want and to be able to take action towards it.

 
Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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