E139: Connecting & Communicating with Your Spirit Guides with Jodi Vienneau

Learning how to trust deeply so that we can connect and communicate with our spirit guides…

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[1:33] Valerie LaVigne: Welcome back to The Women's Empowerment Podcast. Today we have an extra special guest, Jody Viana. She is a 50 year old woman. Mom, writer, author and spiritualist who happens to be psychic and communicates with spirit daily and Jody when I hear this, or when I read this bio out loud I think I have so many questions.

First of all, thank you so much for being on the show. Welcome, it's really great to have your podcast and also I wanted to mention that you are also Kennedy's mom and Kennedy was a recent guest on the podcast we talked about for us, so I'm excited to have a deeper conversation on spirituality but I know that you too are very different in your gifts and in your offering. So could you tell us a little bit more about what you do?

Jodi Vienneau: Well thank you so much for having me. And yes I am Kennedy's Mom very proud of her. I've been nagging her all her life to lean into her abilities, so I'm so glad she finally is.

Episode 135: Beginner’s Guide to Auras www.valerielavignelife.com/kennedy 

​So I'm sorry I forgot the question. You want to know the difference in our offerings in our abilities.

VL: Yeah, let us know more about what you like to offer what you, how you tap into your gifts and your abilities.

JV: Okay, so I am a psychic. I am medium. I also have medical intuitive abilities. I receive messages from spirits who all of my senses. So I hear them I see them, I feel them I smell messages I taste things, I get sensations in my body, I get a lot of messages through color.

So often when I'm doing a reading.

I'll do a scan, like in my mind's eye, I do a scan, and spirit will show me differently. I scan like a, you know, the light on a photocopy machine, the bright white light that slides across the tray. So I do that with my energy but it goes down, the person's body. And so spirit will change the color of the light, and also correlate sensations in my own body, as to what's going on with them, Whether it be emotional, physical, whatever. So, honestly, I received messages in the whole of me from spirit.

VL: That is really cool. I mean, it feels like a very intense experience. I guess when you're doing a reading, is this something that you've been able to tap into for a really long time. I know we've chatted before about this being like a spiritual muscle. So is this something that you've been working on?

JV: I have been psychic, having predictive dreams, my whole entire life. I can remember being little and being really clear.

Strangely detailed dreams. And then, you know, back in the 70s everybody watched the news together the evening news together, and I'd be we'd be watching the news a few months later and my dream would appear on the news as like a world event type thing. So I've had those abilities my whole life, as well as the Claire audience, which is hearing spirit, but I never knew. I never named it. They were just bad dreams to me, bad dreams that followed me in the day, you know, because it's scary when you're a little kid you hear someone walking around.

VL: Yeah, absolutely. I can relate to that too. I have very vivid dreams. I mean I don't feel that they're as predictive at times. However, they do feel so real and they did kind of come across as bad dreams for me when I was a kid, and not really knowing what to do about it so for yourself how were you able to navigate these abilities as a kid?

JV: You know, honestly. As a kid, like I said they were just bad dreams to me, and then through my teenage years. I kind of shut that off, there's already so much going on when you're a teenager that the last thing you need to pile on is, oh yeah, by the way, you know, I can hear dead people and, you know, I can tell you what's gonna happen to you in the next few months, that kind of thing. So I've shut that off, though I would say through my teens, and my 20s. And then when I had my two daughters.

It started waking up again. And I, that's when I discovered that I could travel like mentally and energetically into their bodies, like if they had the hiccups, I would travel inside their bodies, and relax their diaphragm to get their head, or hiccups to go away. So I guess it started coming back online. When I became a mom, and then when my marriage and my husband was very black and white, raised in the church, you know, he was just a non believer. So then once that ended, I had the freedom to just really lean into them. So I'd say the last like nine years is when I really full throttle, lean into them. Let's see all this, show me what kind of thing I've got..

VL: Wow that sounds incredibly brave! I just want to give you a big hug! Ah, that's so amazing and empowering, which is really all about, and I know that's what you're about to do is empowering people with their spirituality and with their gifts. You do so much more than read people but you also help teach people is that correct?

JV: Correct. I love teaching people how to connect with their own team of spirit guides. I love giving them the tools to co create their best life, you know, I'm not a professional I'm not a therapist or anything like that, but through the messages from spirit that I get, you know, their spirit team knows their plan they know their blueprint they know our strengths and everything, and there are signposts right so I love being able to help help kind of turn the light and shine it on the path. That's to come if that makes sense.

VL: Yeah, I love that you're great analogies, I feel like I'm really in and I feel like I'm getting that body scan image I'm getting this light on the path like, I'm almost envisioning a dark windy road, but the light posts are are lit up as you start to walk through.

JV: Yeah, that's exactly, that's exactly what I meant, it’s the writer in me.

VL: It's helpful for a lot of people because I think a lot of what you're saying to a lot of people are, are, you know expressions or abilities or phrases and things that a lot of people don't have the connection to on or not sure not aware. I know for myself when I hear something or see something that not everyone else sees. I initially label it as weird or strange because it's different, and growing up I had a French teacher who always said different is not the same as bad in that sense.

I like to come back to that and just giving, almost like this permission that it's okay to be different and it's okay that something is changing and or whatever is happening so you know that works in the spiritual world, it works in the physical world, so to speak.

So, to people listening who are curious but they don't have this same strong spiritual muscles as you, where do we start with getting to know our guides we all have them. I know I've dabbled in this a little bit, but this is also somewhat new to me. I've heard of spirit guides. I've had. I did a Reiki training and we talked a lot about spirit guides and I kind of felt connected to them but I also feel like I don't know how to get back into that so where do we start with our curiosity?

[10:10] JV: So the very, I would say the very first thing is awareness, and permission. I mean we are sovereign beings so we have to give permission, part of the blessing and a curse of being human is freewill. And, you know, we, we have to give our guides our angels. Everyone permission to communicate with us to contact us. So that's number one is giving permission. And you know, just about everyone has seen like repeated number sequences or something like that, that's it, that's the first sign that. Okay, things are starting to happen, things are starting to amp up. So, noticing versus permission, then you need to notice, pay attention, you know, we all see probably 100 Different signs and messages throughout the course of our date, but we don't necessarily notice them.

So it's starting to pay attention to different things that catch our attention. So maybe you see, maybe you get in your car, and you turn on the radio and song playing, and you think, oh my god, I haven't heard this song since me and so and so, you know, 10 years ago we're doing whatever. And, maybe, you know, there's someone connected to that song that has passed on. So you've noticed that song, you've named what it means you think of. So that's how you begin the language, the dialect, with your gods we teach them how to communicate with us, it's not just a nor a natural. Oh yeah, they're gonna know how to talk to us. We have to teach them the meaning behind everything that we see if I see a penny or if I see a robin or if I see whatever. What does that mean to me what does that make me think of who does that make me think of how do I feel. And so then, when we say that when we name that, Then our spirit guards will go. Okay, got it, got it. You know, that's when she sees a penny. She thinks of her grandma, and her when she was five, and she she felt this, so then they make a note. Okay, pennies equal this. You know what I mean. So that's how we, It's really permission and then paying attention, and then naming it. Naming how we feel, who we think of what we think of, it's all a part of building that dialect, and then we will just start, you know, all of a sudden those 100 signs that you maybe didn't notice in a day. You can't not notice them. Do you know what I mean?

VL: Yeah, absolutely. Can I share some examples of some signs that I, we usually get, so I also see repeating numbers I usually see 1111 Or like, 444. I see those a lot. And then I also see Cardinals remind me of someone.

When I see dimes, that reminds me of multiple people really but it's more just like okay I know that this is the right path, but the quadruple like four ones in a row is huge for me and I see it.

But yeah, it's usually like an animal or a coin, or a repeating number and even if it's not 1111 Like if it is 444 I'll know that it's relevant to whatever's happening in my life, it's just not the. So, and then sometimes they look up online like what does that number sequence mean, but usually it's just like okay it's confirmation, like, I'm in the right place right now. Yes, like a signpost Yeah, exactly, yeah. And then, actually, Kennedy said something to me in my last reading where she said Deja Vu is a symbol for you that you're on the right path. And yesterday I had deja vu as a kid all the time. And I get it less frequently now, but I always wondered what that meant and I did kind of feel like it wasn't as an affirmation or confirmation that things were good.  I just wanted to share some of my examples, but I totally understand that love and awareness and permission and they like it's almost like it's like you're placing an order and you're like, Alright, I need a sign, I'm looking for this, this reminds me, this person, and yeah, That's really a huge part of communication with anybody is saying, what you want 100% It's so simple.

JV: Yeah, it really is. We complicate things unnecessarily. I mean, in every area of our lives. It's true.

Okay so we're on the path we decide that we're bringing awareness we decided that we are, you know, seeing the signs and, like myself, I see 1111 I see the cardinal, I'm not really sure what to do with all of this

VL: Okay so we're on the path we decide that we're bringing awareness we decided that we are, you know, seeing the signs and, like myself, I see 1111 I see the cardinal, I'm not really sure what to do with all of this.

[15:20] JV: Now what you know that is the tricky one and the one that personally, I struggle with is trust, you know, that analogy of the lamps, turning on, you can't see any farther than your next step. And for someone like me who has serious control issues it's like Are you freaking kidding me like, no I need to know the next four or five steps don't just breadcrumb me, but it's that trusting, It's, it's a combination of trusting yourself and trusting spirit universe God source whatever it is, because we are never ever ever just walking blind never we're just not, and understanding that and reminding ourselves of that can be really hard. And so, you know, it's hard. I wish I could just say, Oh, yeah. So when you see this, then you just do this like it's just not that simple. You just have to trust that when it's time to take that next step, the stepping stone will appear, the light will turn on and you will be guided.

VL: WOW! I feel like I’m in an Indiana Jones movie LOL okay, and yeah this is definitely a tricky part for a lot of people, especially when it's a lot of the unknowns right it's different, it's new, it's uncertain. You know there aren't a lot of people who will not in my community I guess who would be able to understand or relate to this and have the conversation that we're having right now but that's a lot of trust. 

JV: It really is. It is scary. Very, very scary I'm not gonna sit here blowing smoke and rainbows up your ass. Yeah, it's scary and it's frustrating and it's infuriating and it's, you know, even for me like I could sit down and give you a reading, and I can give you with excruciating detail what's going to happen, potentially what could happen, that's a whole other conversation. In the next few months of your life, but for myself. I don't get that kind of insight. And so it's even more frustrating because I really have to trust. And you know when you got trust issues like me, and control issues it's like you. Is this a joke, like, come on man.

VL: It's like this catch 22 is right.

JV: But the thing that can help us is that connection with our spirit guides so can we talk a little bit more about, like, who is our, our in our spirit guide what kind of team do we have working with us here. Do we know. So, how do I best answer this, our spirit team is made up of angels.

​​Here's what I personally have seen, and what I believe is that our spirit team is made up of angels, other beings, be them, Animal planetary, you know, that kind of thing.

Possibly, I haven't come into a lot of connection, have passed on loved ones being a part of someone's spirit team, especially not someone that we have known in our current life.

But it's usually beings that we're connected to on a soul level that our higher self knows, you know, they're all people who have chosen, I feel like they are our number one, support, and cheering team, you know they want to see us make it to the end of our planned blueprint, and they are there, you know they have volunteered to help us do that. So these are all people, beings, energy, who love us and support us more than we could ever experience or imagine in this earthly body. Do you know what I mean I know that sounds really grandiose, but that's really what it is, their sole purpose is to support us as we move through life, so sorry to circle back your question, how do we know who they are, you can do different meditations and try to meet them.

It's a, that's also takes a lot of trust, because we're so skeptical, and we're so pessimistic, you know, we may think that we're not. But if we meditate, we're like okay, I'm going to hold space, a good visualization is okay to sit quiet, go to a special place in your mind someplace that you love that you feel comfortable and happy. Maybe it's a beach, maybe it's a park, maybe it's a forest and envision two seats, you're going to sit in one, and you're going to invite one guy at a time to come sit in the other and maybe it's a picnic table, maybe it's a dining room table, whatever you feel comfortable with and whatever resonates with you, then you're going to get quiet, you're going to give that permission for only beings of the highest vibration and only those who work for the highest good of the collective, to come in, and then you have to trust, you know, when we do this. A lot of people, they might go no, I got nothing. No, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, and then they get frustrated and then that ego mind kicks in and it's like okay well I'm a failure I don't have a team, I'm a loser. This is stupid. Why don't even try, or a being will come in and sit down and you'll have a conversation. Maybe you can't make out their physical features, But you will feel them, you'll hear them, something like that, but then you're like, can I just make that up. Is that real, like, that can't be real. That was just my imagination. Well our imagination is one of our most powerful spiritual tools that we have. So that is one way that we can connect with our guides, you know, you have to give permission, then you have to trust what you're receiving and seeing right. Those are so important in this spiritual journey.

[22:10] VL: I like it. It's simple, but it's not easy to do. It's a simplified concept.

I really liked that and I think it kind of ties well into your handle spiritual coffee and like you're inviting these spirit guides to come have coffee with you like let's hold let's, let's connect in in a different way and I feel like this could be a really great daily practice and tapping into who these people are and each time just giving yourself that permission to let go of the ego, let's just see what happens. Let's just try it on, let's just see how it goes, or feel how it goes.

It reminded me of, also a friend of mine, she went to an angel workshop and she was saying that the facilitator was encouraging you know when you can't open a jar or when you're having trouble reaching something or you can't find something you just go.

It reminded me of, also a friend of mine, she went to like an angel workshop and she was saying that the facilitator was encouraging you know when you can't open a jar or when you're having trouble reaching something or you can't find something you just go.

It reminded me of, also a friend of mine, she went to like an angel workshop and she was saying that the facilitator was encouraging you know when you can't open a jar or when you're having trouble reaching something or you can't find something you just go.

Yes, and that's part of that permission is like it's okay if I don't see the person or the guide, or if I don't feel them or if I don't hear them, you know whatever comes through is, is what's coming through and not shaming yourself about it like it didn't work.

whatever the self doubt that creeps in, because I know for myself, I will get like a little bit freaked out, like, oh my god, I was just thinking that and then that person said it out loud I'm like no that's weird, like, no, and then I'll shut myself down and then I'm like, thinking well that's not how you grow.

it was just such a yeah that was a really, really great way to I like the idea of like meeting the person because they're the guide, I should say, because then it really is like, Okay, I'm taking these three steps forward. The guide now is kind of coming like we're both coming together this way and you're like hey come to me. I need to see. Right, yeah, yeah. So okay, let's say we have the awareness, and we have the provision, and we are trusting and all the sudden, wham bam someone appears. And, or whatever we feel their energy. However, it comes to us.

How then do we cultivate this connection or this relationship with this guide, and continue to build the trust and the muscle of the spiritual muscles?

[25:09] JV: For me personally, I'll use myself as an example, my guides. Well, I can see their physical features so they look different, but they also was always saying at the beginning, I received messages from spirits through all of my senses. So they, their voices sound different, their energy feels different, or I might see a different color. 

So I think it's important when you make that connection that contact to pay attention to how you feel. Like how does your physical body feel, do you feel a sensation on your right side or on your left side do you feel a cool breeze on your ear.

Do you have goosebumps on your leg. Do you, do you smell something, you know, Do you taste something in your mouth, your guide will like have a signature, they'll let you know how you can recognize when they are with you. And, you know, they're, they're just honestly they're just waiting to communicate with us. And so when we reach out to them they're like Oh, thank God it's finally happening you know, and then I think it's a matter of just building that relationship the same that you would with a person, a human persons you it, you know, just step by step, whatever you're comfortable with. You have to respect your own boundaries, and then it goes back to building that dialogue that dialect. And you, you know, saying okay this is, this is how I'm going to communicate with you, you know, if you want to communicate with me. This is how you do it and I mean literally, you can say out loud those words, or you can think it, you know, we're all energy so you don't have to walk around saying, you know, Hey, spirit. Got you, you know, that kind of thing you can think it, and the message will get through so I think it's just a matter of recognizing who is with you. And, and learning their signature, and then building that dialogue.

VL: Yeah, that sounds simple enough *laughs*

JV: I mean, it really is, we overcomplicate things.

VL: I mean, it really is, yeah, definitely overcomplicate things Right exactly and the ego gets in the way and the self doubt, and all those things yeah I think yeah, I think it's a really great place to start in terms of like, deepening our spiritual journey and working through that bad practice of letting go, surrendering to whatever comes up, and really allowing yourself to follow that, that's the signature of that.

So, it leads me to the question, how many of these spirit guides do we have, or is it different per person?

JV: It's been my experience that it is different for everyone. I mean, I've done readings for clients, where I've seen like and a veritable army standing behind them, and more recently I did a reading for a client. And their main guy was the only one that would show Himself to me, and I knew I could sense that there were other guides behind, but he was, he was the gatekeeper and he wasn't letting me see anyone else. So it's really, it's my experience and like I said, everybody has different experiences everybody sees things differently. Everybody has their own opinion on things right, they're like belly buttons, but it's been my experience that there really isn't a set number.

​​ If I had to generalize, I would say at least five, at least.

[29:29] VL: That’s pretty cool. And then it gives us some, some room to kind of explore that and see like invite a new person each time we go into that session, right, and say, for someone else. Is there something else I need to know is there, I always ask, is there something that hasn't been said, oh that's a good one. I like that one, which actually I'm going to ask you is there something that I haven't asked you yet that we should know about your guy.

JV: I don't think so. I mean I think it's really really important when you are opening yourself to spirit like that whether you are trying to hoping to reach out to a passed on loved one, or trying to connect with your guides, it's very very important that you create that high vibrational space, and you only are inviting in beings of the highest vibration, and those who are in it's so important, who are working for the highest good of the collective, because I mean, spirits like people like yes we're all energy and we're all souls, but there's different levels of vibration, right, and if you just open it to everyone, then you invite in those lower vibrational energies, that's when you can start to get draggy and you know you're it's violating like you wouldn't want some truth coming in your house, and it's the same way so you have to set those boundaries, and make sure you're only in those with the highest intention for the collective. So that's what I would say before you. Anyone can contact spirit, anyone can. But it's very important to set those boundaries first.

VL: First, I feel just like spiritual dating.

JV: Oh god, yeah.

VL: This has been such a cool conversation, I feel like I'm going to spend some time meditating tonight and invite only the highest good and set those boundaries first

When I feel like I want to revisit some of my Spirit Guides stuff I feel like it's been a really long time. I did and actually I do have one more question now, Do your staff guides change or do they stay the same your whole life?

JV: I think they change, I think, not all of them change. But I do believe, at different points in your life. They have different roles. I think that we all have main ones that stay the same throughout our journey. But I do think that some of them are just meant to come in for certain chapters of our lives.

VL: So fun! This might be, well this is a selfish question but I'm gonna ask it anyway, you are there any spirit guides of mine that are here right now?

JV: I actually feel that there's, there's one standing, if I'm looking at you on the screen here, behind your, I guess that would be your right shoulder, yes, there. I'm really picking up on like a masculine energy there, he I feel also like the color. It's like an indigo color I feel like he's wearing Indigo.

He's really bringing awareness to my teeth, and my mouth. He's. I feel like he's funny. I feel like he was like some sort of artist. He's got a very, he's got a lot of flair about him.

It's, I don't know if he's your main guide but I feel like he is here because he really was interested in this conversation that we are going to have, he's got a really pointed like aquiline nose He would call it an aquiline strong nose, black hair, kind of, just to his chin, I guess. Yeah, he's, he's interesting. He's really amused by this conversation that we're having.

VL: Maybe I'll, I'll try to channel him in my meditation. Yeah, yeah. That's so fun. Well thank you so much for sharing that. And again, incredible conversation, but we do have a couple more segments of the show so before I go into the final segment, I do want to ask you, where we can find you, where we can follow you, how we can get a reading or support your business in, and all those things because I know that people listening are going to want to know what their spirit guides are saying to.

JV: Oh I love that.

WEBSITE + OFFERINGS www.spiritualcoffee.ca 

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VL: I always find that I tend to go to a spiritual reading when I’m looking for some sort of confirmation or some sort of direction. Almost like I;m a little too nervous to take that step into the darkness/or the new awareness, and then someone like you will do what you said and shine that light forward a little bit more and say, “oh yeah, this is the next best step, or avoid that because it’s just going to take you longer.”

So I’m sure people listening who are either curious, or looking for confirmation or that kind of thing, would love to connect with you!

[35:55] RAPID FIRE ROUND

1. What are you currently reading? What’s your favourite book?

JV: I'm usually an avid reader. But the last couple of years, I've really had a hard time focusing. But I've really been trying to force myself to get back into it. So I'm actually, I'm actually reading an erotica book, right, because you know. Variety is the spice of life. So I thought on TikTok, it's called desperate measures by Katie Robert.

It combines my love of Disney with my love of erotica. If that makes sense, it's kind of a twisted pairing, so don't judge me for that.

Desperate Measures by Katie Robert 

2. What do you love most about being a woman?

JV: Oh, good question. What do I love most about being a woman… You know, I think women are so underrated. I think women are under appreciated. I think we're under estimated. I feel like being a woman is like, I mean really, we can do anything we're magic we're, we're, we're creators, we are creators, we're the givers of life. And I just think we're, we can be soft, we can be hard and driven and focused, we can be. 

We can be the givers, we can also be the receivers. You know we can be the trailblazers, but we can also be, you know, the in the masses that support those who go ahead and blaze the trail so I guess I just like that. We are so multifaceted so complex. And really, I mean I love that we can be fierce and sexy and soft and spiritual you know what I mean, I just love, I guess I just love the multifaceted ways of being a woman. That was a really good question. 

3. What does empowerment mean to you?

JV: I love empowerment. How do I want to word this… It means being humble enough to know that we don't know everything, but also having the courage to ask for the tools that we need to move forward. I feel that that is very empowering.

Being open to receiving what we don't already have or what we maybe don't recognize that we have. And that enables us, strengthens us, gives us the courage, the faith, the tools to know how to move forward.

4. What are you currently working toward?

Professionally: Writing a book. Don't write a book, and then get open heart surgery and take part in a global pandemic and all that because you'll have to restart it many, many, many times.

Personally: This is gonna sound so cliche. You know, I'm 50. But I really, I just really want to be in love again I really want to.

I'm hoping that Happily Ever After is in my cards so I guess personally that's what I'm working towards if a person can work towards them.

VL: I think they can. Yeah, I think you can do anything. As you said I think women are underestimated and we can do whatever we want and if this is what we're striving toward then, then yeah. Remember to trust, with a capital T!

Now Jodi, this was awesome! I learned so many new things, I think that you are an incredible human. I think that you have an amazing daughter, who I'm also going to link to in this episode too but, yes, this is a great like I love having these conversations. I like to learn all about that stuff. I feel super motivated to meet with my very fun, indigo guide!

We're gonna have a fun little coffee date meditation together. But thank you so much for your gifts. Now I just want to say that I really appreciate your time. I appreciate what you do and how bold you are and brave you are with all of the spiritual gifts that you have and I know I shared this with you privately but it's very inspiring to see how you work. So I just wanted to say that, again, thank you so much.

JV: Thank you so much it really was fun. I could talk about this stuff forever. So fun.

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E138 How to Eliminate Bad Habits

Every single person on this planet has bad habits. Even I have bad habits, and I’m a Healthy Habit Mentor for goodness sake. My intention for this episode is to offer you some solutions and practices that you can use to support you in your journey to becoming the best version of yourself. 

I am only sharing what has worked for me or for my clients, and I’ll even use examples of the methods in action. As you’re listening to the content today I invite you to hear and feel, which of the solutions might be best for you.

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If you’re working through a bad habit currently, I would suggest trying out one or two of the methods I’m going to share and then go through them all to find the best fit.

At one point or another all of these styles have worked, and usually for different habits, as you will soon hear. So don’t be discouraged if you try one and it doesn’t fit quite right, you won’t know until you try. 

After listening to this episode, and truly making the effort for each of the practices I can confidently say that one of them is bound to work. Now, there might be a deeper root of concern if one or more of these practices don’t work. In this case, I would love to invite you into my Make a Habit Mentorship Program, as I mentioned at the beginning of this episode. If you feel called to join, or learn more, you can visit www.valerielavignelife.com/mentorship or contact me to see if we’re the best fit www.valerielavignelife.com/contact

[3:33] Education + Intention

Lasting change and transformation typically come from a very deep intention. In other podcast episodes I mentioned the importance of intention and how this can also be called our “why power.” WHY do we want to eliminate this bad habit? WHY do we want to make the change? Knowing the answer to this question will be the foundational motivation you need to make the change, and have it be a lasting change.

A simple practice I’ve used for myself, and in my coaching is to ask why, and then keep asking. Going through this helps uncover layers of meaning and eventually brings you to those deeper roots. Sometimes the answers can be very intense, so be honest, and be gentle with yourself. And other times, usually when we aren’t being honest enough with ourselves, we come up against some blocks/walls/speed bumps/etc. The important part here is to breathe, trust, and keep moving toward that meaning. 

This method also involves doing a little more research, and educating ourselves on 

My example: 2-Month sugar detox

Several years ago I started to learn more and more about the dangers of consuming too much sugar.

I thought I was really healthy, and eating foods that were labeled healthy… however they had many hidden sugary ingredients and to my surprise I was eating more sugar than I ever thought! Form low-fat yogurt to fruit smoothies, store-bought granola bars, and more I was eating tons of sugar. 

So I bought a book by Sara Wilson called I Quit Sugar and the first maybe chapter or two of the book went into more detail of the negative effects of sugar, how it is hidden behind different names, the science of glucose, fructose, lactose, and dextrose and so on and so forth. The book also shared an 8-week plan on how to detox from sugar and recipes to incorporate during the 8-weeks.

I used this research and data as motivation for me to eliminate fructose from my diet for those full 8-weeks. I didn’t eat refined sugar, fruit, and certain vegetables. I will say it was one of the most difficult, and one of the most rewarding things I have ever done for myself.

Since that detox many moons ago, I have continued to remove certain sauces, foods, and snacks from my diet. I now eat fruits, vegetables, and definitely still eat chocolate again, but my sugar consumption has most definitely changed and I’m very happy for that. Education and intention were a huge part of me taking action because let me tell you this was TOUGH!

Not only can we do some education on why this bad habit is so bad, but also what the future of our lives looks like, should we continue this bad habit. 

One of my favourite examples that explains this is from the book The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy.

He uses the example of three friends with three different evening routines. The first friend A comes home from work and decides he’s going to spend 30 minutes working out, 30 minutes reading a personal development book, and 30 minutes learning how to take better videos and pictures because he wants to use his camera when he spends time with his family and kids.

Friend B decides his evening routine stays the same as it always has.

Friend C chooses to come home, relax in front of the TV and drink a beer or two before dinner and bed.

In the book there is a graphic of a chart showing the projection of these three friends over a period of time. I don’t have the book in my hands right now so I’m saying this from memory, but after 6-12 months there isn’t THAT much change in the three friends. In fact, the lines on this line chart are all the same at the middle of the chart. 

But as time goes on, the lines start to change. With more time, the line representing Friend A starts to move in an upward motion. The line for friend B remains the same and steady along the middle of the chart. Friend C’s line also changes, but in a downward motion.

In the book, and I’m paraphrasing, Hardy shares that Friend A has lost weight and gained strength over the last 1-5 years and he is in better shape than he’s ever been with more energy than ever. He also got a promotion at work because he’s been implementing his personal development strategies from the books he’s been reading every night. AND he’s really great at using his camera and editing software and has even made some great home videos for the family. He’s become closer to his kids through this time. 

Friend B’s life hasn’t changed much. He’s feeling pretty stagnant actually, at the same job, always doing the same thing.

Friend C, as you can probably guess has gained some weight, is less energized, and not enthusiastic about his work or his home life. The list of problems went on in the book, and to be honest I remember more how I felt reading the story and it also motivated me to take action in my life.

As you’re thinking about your current routines, and bad habits, where can you see the negative impacts of these habits, and how could they be affecting your health and life for the long term? Motivated yet?

[10:41] Here’s the next method I want to share: Add Rather Than Subtract

When it comes to eliminating a bad habit, it’s actually a lot easier to add in a good habit and replace it with the bad habit, versus just not doing the bad habit any more.

My example: Less screen time, meant more time outside (walking, basketball, hiking)

Personally I have been appalled with the amount of time I spend looking at a screen every day that I’ve started to brainstorm and incorporate different activities instead of sitting at my computer, scrolling on my phone, or watching TV.

This morning for example I left my phone at home and went for a short walk around the block. Yesterday Craig and I went to the school near our house and shot some hoops together instead of watching TV, and I brought my book to bed to read a few pages instead of mindlessly scrolling on my phone.

Think of some different things you could be doing instead of the bad habit. Leaving my phone at home, or in another room was also really helpful because I would have had to get up and go grab my phone if I wanted to look at it. Or because it wasn’t on me I couldn’t check it. It wasn’t even an option.

[12:07] Another great way to replace a bad habit is to simplify the transition into the new habit. With my example of lack of movement I wanted to get back into the workouts I hadn’t been doing for OVER A YEAR! What worked…?

Simplify It… Again

I used to have an epic morning routine before the pandemic. I exercised, drank a litre of water, showered, and journalled before 8am most days. Then the pandemic. Gyms closed, my main source of income GONE, I was scared. The daily practice that kept me mentally well and physically strong was gone, and I started sleeping in and skipping my alternate workouts. The excuses got easier to make, and time went by more and more.

Fourteen months later… well you know how the chart works!

My example: Getting back into my workouts

I knew I wanted to get back into my workouts and I also knew that it wasn’t going to look the exact same as it did before. I wasn’t going to wake up at 5:30am when I was currently waking up at 7am. 

So I kept things really simple.

Day one: write out the workouts for the week, schedule them into my calendar

Day two: prep my clothes, new trainers, and music

Day three: do the workout.

Day four: do the next workout.

Etc.

And it worked! I’m on week 5 of my consistent workouts average 3-4x per week! I’m tracking my workouts and I know I’m getting stronger every week, and that feels really good. 

I literally had to make the steps soooo simple, as simple as lay out your clothes the day before. But that’s what it took.

Your turn, how can you simplify your new, better habit? How can you simplify it again?

[15:05] Tell EVERYONE! Better yet, document the whole thing on social media

I wanted to get my body moving more so I worked my way up from 4000 steps a day to 10000 a day by sharing the process with my social media network through instagram stories.

Organically it created some healthy competition, and there were a lot of people joining in the conversation and with the habit. 

People were sharing photos of their walks, screen-shots of their daily step count and it was so much fun! It also helped me stay accountable.

[16:45] Remove Distractions + Set Up Reminders/Triggers

I have a love-hate relationship with flossing, and honestly I love the way my mouth feels when I floss consistently - LOL yes I heard it too HAHAHA

I don’t bring my phone with me when I brush my teeth and I use brushing my teeth as the trigger to flossing. I brush first and then I floss. It helps me stack my habits. The other OBVIOUS trigger is to keep my floss right beside my toothbrush.

Think about the distractions and the bad habits that you’re doing, think about what you’re also avoiding by doing this habit?

Set yourself up for success by removing the limitations and set up your reminders + triggers so you can stack your habits.

[19:56] Reward Yourself 

At this point, I’d like to bring awareness as to why our bad habits feel so good. It’s because they reward us with comfort. Comfort is a common purpose behind our habits and since our brains are wired for rewards, we start to crave more each time we feel comfort.

In the decision making process, our brains cannot differentiate good from bad. It DOES understand comfortable and uncomfortable. 

That second chocolate chip cookie, that like on instagram, and that time you decided to binge watch Sex/Life, all triggered a release of Dopamine, the feel good hormone. 

It’s not wonder we keep doing the damn thing.

The bad habit is usually easier to do, than to replace with a more helpful or healthy habit since we (unconsciously link it to discomfort.

What are some of the feel good bad habits you want to break?

Then think about what discomfort you COULD DO and if it’s THAT much more worth it to sit on your booty vs work your booty?

With the right boundaries you can also use your bad habit as a reward. For example, if I read 1 page of my book I can scroll on my phone.

The boundaries are: the phone has to be in a separate room and the scroll has to be limited to 15 minutes.

[23:47] Get Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable

This might be the most important one. I learned this a long time ago when it came to my business and personal development growth, but I hadn’t thought about it as a habit building/transforming until recently.

Through the discomfort we grow.

The magic happens OUTSIDE of our comfort zone, so GET OUT of your comfort zone by doing the uncomfortable good habit.

If you are ready to scale your growth, your transformation, to reach the best version of yourself, I invite you to connect with me.

Email me at www.valerielavignelife.com/contact to chat more about whether or not the Make a Habit Mentorship is right for us.

Let’s continue today’s conversation on instagram @vallavignelife

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E136: The Power of Interruptions

Google defines the word “interrupt” as:

1. Stop the continuous progress of (an activity or process)

2. Stop (someone speaking) by saying or doing something

3. Break the continuity of (a line or surface)

Today we’re going to use each of these definitions, in a new context. Today we’re going to talk about the power of interruptions in the continuous progress of negative self-talk and anxiety

The power of interruptions by taking alternate action through journaling and reprogramming

And lastly, the power of breaking the continuity of automation in our habits, behaviours, and daily actions.

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[1:20] Welcome back to the Women’s Empowerment Podcast, I am your host Valerie LaVigne. If you’ve listened to any other episode before you will have noticed that I broke a pattern of how I begin each and every show. 

Funnily enough I wasn’t planning on it, but it just ended up that way and it ironically was so perfect because of course today’s episode is all about interruptions and the power they have!

[2:00] [PART ONE]

I’m breaking this episode into three sections so that I can share three unique perspectives on this topic, and the first is: The power of interruptions: Interrupting Negative Self-Talk + Anxiety.

If you’ve ever felt anxious or gotten caught up in the drowning thoughts of negativity, you will understand the rabbit hole of the negative noisy mind and debilitating feelings to follow. Not only is a habit of negative self-talk non-serving, but it can also lead to anxious thoughts, feelings, and fear.

One of the most popular episodes of the Women’s Empowerment Podcast is Episode 81: 5 Tips for Positive Self-Talk. Seeing as this is one of the most popular episodes, I think it’s safe to say that this is a struggle for many of us. The good news is, negative self talk and anxiety is something we can heal, work through, and overcome. 

It all starts with the habit of observing our thoughts. This is the consistent practice of noticing our thoughts, mindset, and self-talk. This is constant throughout the day so we will need to check in often. If it helps, you can set alarms/reminders or triggers. For example, if you’re answering emails, notice what your thoughts are throughout the email process, with each new email remember to check in. Or perhaps starting with every morning, notice how you start your day when it comes to your mindset. You can also change up your triggers, for when you’re driving, waiting in line at the grocery store, scrolling instagram, etc.

Getting in the habit of observing your thoughts will be the first step to interrupting anxiety or negative self talk. As soon as you can notice your mindset, you will be able to limit or stop the negative pattern sooner and avoid spiralling all together!

This first step cannot be skipped because it’s the key to breaking the pattern of negativity and interrupting anxiety BEFORE the fearful feelings overtake us. And trying to stop this mid-panic-attack is a lot more difficult than before we shift into panicking.

I want to point out that in no way are we ignoring, suppressing, or labeling the anxious feelings as invalid; the purpose of this step is to eliminate the toxic pattern of the mental spiral or breakdown.

[4:44] We can do this through observation followed by gratitude. One of the best ways to interrupt anxiety is with gratitude. More often than not anxiety comes up when we’re thinking; or over thinking about the future. Fears of what could happen, but isn’t necessarily accurate or true. When we observe an anxious thought, negative self-talk, or poor mindset, the very next step is to think of something we are grateful for. 

The practice of gratitude requires us to think of something that has already happened to us, so we know it to be true, AND has made us feel happy, joyful, or grateful. It’s interrupting the negativity with something positive. Notice how I didn’t say, “replacing” I said INTERRUPTING. Gratitude grounds us, elevates our energy, and brings us back to the lighter and elevated emotions. When we are present we can act with discernment and reframe our current situation.

Let’s look at an example: I’m feeling nervous and anxious about an upcoming interview and questioning my abilities as a podcast host. I could very easily spiral into negative self-talk and lack-mindset of “not good enough”. However I am practicing observing my thoughts, so I notice the negativity. With this awareness I CHOOSE to interrupt with gratitude and I take a moment to channel my attention to what I am grateful for. I am grateful for my new coffee mug that was handmade by a local artisan. I am grateful to support a local woman artist, drink out of a very unique piece of art and I really love this coffee that I’m drinking because I’ve been adding cinnamon to it and it’s so pleasant. I take a breath. I remind myself that I am worthy and enough. I am capable, in fact I have evidence supporting how great of a podcast host I really am. At this point in the example I can go on and list truths about what qualifies me, but for the sake of time I won’t, and because you get the point.

[7:26] When you’re interrupting anxious thoughts and feelings with gratitude, here are my 3 tIps for an impactful Gratitude Practice:

1. Keep it really simple: I am literally drinking out of the coffee mug I described in the example right now. This is a real-life example of what was in front of me or around me that I could connect to gratitude with quickly. A coffee mug. Simple

2. Consider WHY you are grateful for the item on your list: Don’t stop at listing items within sight. Why are you grateful for that item/person/thing? What makes it meaningful to you? This might also bring evidence to prove your negative mindset wrong.

3. List different things every day: My life changed when I started writing a daily gratitude practice after only two consistent weeks of it. It has helped me create a WAY healthier and more positive mindset over all and I recommend this super simple practice to anyone looking to make a real shift in their mindset and life.

[8:53] [PART TWO]

Gratitude in the moment can be quickly transformative, and a daily gratitude practice truly allows us to make LASTING CHANGE. This is because as we elevate our energy and our mindset, what we’re actually doing is creating new neural networks and reprogramming our brains.

This leads us to part two: The power of interruptions by taking alternate action through journaling and reprogramming.

If you’ve ever watched or read “The Secret” or done any mindset work with coaches, or through any type of personal development, you would have learned about vision boards, journaling practices, and maybe even audio recordings of what you want your life to look like, sound like, feel like, etc. Hey, I’ve talked about this on the podcast before!

In the bigger scheme of things, and as we start to (as I mentioned) elevate our energy, the next step after gratitude and observation, and choosing our new thought and belief, is to take action. Before I get too far ahead I want to point out the difference between REACTING and TAKING ACTION.

A reaction is an emotional, often immediate and not well-thought out response to a situation. This could be a verbal reaction, sometimes called “word vomit” or a physical action such as an outburst. Because reactions tend to be immediate and without any forethought, we often regret this type of behaviour/action.

In this episode I’m talking more about taking INSPIRED ACTION. Meaning, we are acting from a place of gratitude, service, and working in the highest good. We are moved into action not because we feel hurt or threatened but rather because we are feeling called to show up and shine!

[11:11] Okay, so back to these interruptions. If we want a different result, we’re going to have to take a different action. To initiate a more thoughtful and intentional action, we need to become clear on our desired reality, and we can do this through journaling!

Feel free to take out a pen and paper, or your journal and start writing out a very detailed description of who the best version of you is.

What does she look like?

What does she sound like?

What does she smell like?

How does she feel?

How does she wake up in the morning?

What is her morning routine?

What are her thoughts throughout the day?

What is her work-life balance?

What are her relationships like?

What is she grateful for?

What is she excited about and looking forward to?

Who does she admire?

What is she proud of?

What makes her feel good?

What foods does she eat?

What limiting beliefs or obstacles has she overcome?

How does she spend her weekends or free time?

What makes her special?

How does she spend her evenings? 

What is her evening routine like?

I included the questions in this episode so that you could use them as a guide/prompts as you create a detailed and full description of this version of you. Feel free to add more detail and answer your own questions as you see fit. I find these a great starting point for us to dive even deeper. 

Writing out these answers with pen and paper is also important in this practice because it allows us to use both the right and left hemispheres of our brain at the same time, activating more neural networks.

It’s also key to write as if this has already happened/in the past tense because as you write and then read the description, your brain cannot distinguish between reality and what you’ve written down so it will start to believe that this is already happening.

[13:58] Here is the best part. The version of you, the one you just described in immense detail, is the person you are already becoming! How?

1. Your brain is already visualizing this version of you and believing that it’s possible

2. You have created clarity on exactly who this person is

3. NEXT you can start to implement some of these actions, thoughts, habits into your life RIGHT NOW!

Does the best version of you drink organic green tea in the mornings? Does the best version of you have boundaries around work emails on the weekends? Does the best version of you schedule time to be creative?

These three examples can most definitely be put into practice RIGHT NOW! Start BEING the best version of you by interrupting the current version of you by taking action. 

Wake up in the morning and ask yourself, “What is something I can do today that future Valerie will thank me for?” or “What would the highest version of Valerie choose to think about today? What intention is she setting?” You get the point!

[15:21] [PART THREE]

With these interruptions on mindset, elevating our energy to the high vibration of gratitude, and getting clarity on how we are reprogramming ourselves, we have now reached our third powerful interruption: The power of breaking the continuity of automation in our habits, behaviours, and daily actions.

It doesn’t matter if you track your habits or not. Humans thrive on routines and patterns. Maybe I shouldn’t say thrive, maybe I should say rely. Each and every human on planet Earth has daily behaviours that are either helping them, hurting them, or keeping them neutral. 

When I work with my one-on-one mentorship clients I often say, “tell me your habits and I will tell you your future.” This is because, over time our habits are going to lead us somewhere and depending on that habit we will either feel better or worse in our bodies. Obviously this is due to good and bad habits!

Most of our habits are automated. Meaning we don’t have to think about them and we can go through each day, week, month, year behaving, thinking, and acting the exact same without considering anything different. 

We wake up at the same time, to the same three alarm clocks, stumble into the shower and brush our teeth with the same hand. We automatically hit the same setting on the coffee machine, drive to and from work the same way, and after dinner we put away the dishes the same and sit on the same spot on the couch as we always do.

An automated life leaves no room for change, growth, or opportunities. Living on autopilot means your future is already decided for you. But if you don’t like the sounds of that, it doesn’t have to be that way. In fact, one of the most powerful ways to break the automation is to… you guessed it: interrupt it!

Here are some of the ways we can do it:

Level easy:

• Change the hand you use to brush your hair and or teeth with

• Take a new route to work

• Stir an intention into your morning beverage

• Sit on a different part of the couch when you watch TV

Level moderate:

• Swap out your morning email and insta scroll for reading a few pages of a personal development book

• Instead of watching TV after dinner, spend time connecting with your partner over a nature walk

• Listen to an inspiring podcast on your way to work instead of the celeb gossip

• Rearrange your morning or evening routine

• Visit a restaurant you’ve never been to before, or order something you’ve never had

Level difficult, but certainly not impossible:

• Wake up 30 minutes earlier to exercise in the mornings

• Schedule email and social media time for specific times during the day and use the other time for screen-free tasks like journaling, nature, project creation, hobby or activity

• Fill your weekends and parts of your weekdays with joyful activities, and blank space for spontaneous adventures or activities 

Here’s a little bonus for this episode… if you haven’t already noticed, each of these interruptions can become HABITS!

Get in the habit of interrupting negative thoughts

Get in the habit of taking alternate action toward your ideal self

Get in the habit of breaking the continuity of automated behaviours

You are worthy of a limitless, fulfilling, and wonderful life! Welcome interruptions into your life and choose to see them as opportunities for growth. Change the course of your life, and manifest your dreams by making them real today. Prove to your mind, and your physical brain that this future is possible and is happening right now.

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E135 Beginner's Guide to Auras with Kennedy Vienneau

Learn all about the colourful energetic field around your body, and how to tap into your spiritual and psychic gifts!

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[2:12] Valerie LaVigne: Welcome back to another episode of the Women's Empowerment Podcast. I am so pleased to be here today with a new guest, join me in welcoming, Kennedy Vienneu the show. Kennedy is a gifted 22 year old from Alberta, Canada, she loves all things Disney as well as most things from the Spiritual World, Kennedy is an aura reader and healer, as well as an up and coming spiritual mentor, welcome Kennedy. Thank you so much for being on the show today. It's very wonderful to have you here.

Kennedy Vienneau: Thank you for having me. I'm so excited. This is my first podcast so it's like a good icebreaker podcast. I'm excited.

VL: You're going to be amazing. We chatted a little bit before the show, and I think this is going to be a really fun conversation we have tons of questions, some from me and some from the listeners, so I was explaining this a little bit earlier to to you and to the other people who wanted to ask you questions was like you're really interesting and kind of unique guest to the show, because I've never had anyone who reads auras, and most people actually didn't know what that meant. So let's start with Kristin's question and she wants to know what is an aura?

KV: Okay, good question. An aura. I like to describe it as like when I look at people, everyone has a little tiny atmosphere around them, and then there are colors and movements within the atmosphere and that's your aura changes on your mood and what's going on in your life and all that kind of stuff. It's really cool.

VL: That does sound really cool. Now I've had some experiences with you and you're reading my aura. However, I don't see this tiny atmosphere of color and moving, moving color I guess or energy we can call it. So, can everyone see auras, so it's just like, certain people can see auras?

KV: I believe that everyone actually can see auras if they dig deep enough, but some people, it comes by some people easier than others. And so, yeah, everyone can totally tap into that, that if they need to.

VL: Hmm, maybe we can explore this a little bit more. However, let's get back to you a little bit more. When and how did you know that you could see or us?

KV: I, when I was like an early teenager 12 or 13, I was talking to my mom and then describing to her how I see these colors around people and my mom is also very spiritual. And she was saying, you know, I think that's, or as I think we're seeing auras and it was, I was like, Oh man, like maybe I am. And ever since then it's just really cool to just look at everyone's aura and all that stuff but I never really truly tapped into it until the past year or so.

VL: Oh, very interesting. So before you had that conversation in your early teens, were you seeing auras before that and just like you just saw colors around people?

KV: Yeah, I've always seen colors, it's been crazy, I just, I thought that's what everyone saw I didn't know.

VL: You know what, it's so weird. You're saying these things and I feel like there was a time when I was a kid, when I would see colors around people, but that was never really nurtured to me like I, my parents used to say like, Oh, you were 13 going on 30 Or like three going on 13 Like, I always asked questions and I remember people saying, Who asked you to ask that question or who told you that it was like no one I just wasn't my question. And people always thought it was really strange for a young child to be saying certain things and I can't really remember what those things were but I don't know it just brought me back to like this weird memory of seeing colors around people. So, okay, I'm open to the idea that we can tap into these kinds of spiritual, spiritual gifts.

Can you let us know a little bit more about how you've been fine tuning this gift in the last year and maybe how we can fine tune our own gifts?

KV: sure I think there are a lot of tools that can help you tap More into the spiritual world, such as crystals, you know, they're really easy to come by and most people have access to them. You just incorporate them into your day by putting it in your pocket or, you know, just taking a moment to breathe with one and when you find that you're still and plus with the addition of the tool spirit will often approach you and want to talk to you and tell you all these cool things and kind of confirm things that you've been feeling if you have been feeling like you. Maybe you can see, and are still open to it.

VL: Now I know in your practice, because when I worked with you before you talk about your pendulum is this one of those kind of spiritual tools that we can use the pendulum and crystals? Do you use a specific crystal?

[7:40] KV: Yeah, You can, but for beginners something as simple as like a rose quartz or whatever you find you know Rose Quartz are typically the cheapest, and that is something that can help just like ground you and act as like a door almost to the spiritual world and they'll be more attracted to these things and yes I do use the pendulum, and fine tuning that it's very helpful in clearing the energy so that I know like sometimes I get in my head like Wait am I just thinking this, and am I just telling myself or my client what I want to hear, or is spirit actually trying to bring that through and so the pension is really helpful in clearing the space so you can hear it more direct, I guess.

VL: Okay, so could you walk us through maybe like a little ritual that you do to tap in with these tools like can you kind of take us through step by step, is that possible?

KV: Yeah, definitely. So for example at the beginning of my reading, I will sit down and take a few deep breaths and then I have like a ton of crystals so I just like to pick whichever one I want that day. And, or if my client is getting a reading says, you know someone is ill and needs help and I will pick a personal that way. And so, grab the crystal and just take a deep breath and say, you know, kind of like affirmations, but with spirit and say you know I'm open to receiving messages I'm open to learning more information about these people, that sort of thing, and then you just, it kind of just comes to you if you're quiet enough and some people who are still skeptical in the back of their mind, they still, it's really hard to get rid of that skepticism I know but you just have to try to push it away as much as you can and with your tool or just yourself if you just have that and then.

VL: And it sounds like this is something that would be nice to do kind of to help, I guess. Well, it's like building muscle right after practicing.This is so interesting. It really is like, it seems like such a meditative kind of intuitive tapping in word and not so much like, okay, read this book and say this affirmation, it's like okay connect to yourself, you know say that affirmation because you're affirming that I'm open to receiving.

Yes, and really there's like so much power behind the intention of what you're doing, not just sitting there thinking like, alright, suddenly the download, like, yeah I'm open to this you know skepticism aside, it's so interesting, I would love to try this more.

So, I've had two readings with you so far, and they weren't completely blank, not even close to being similar in any way shape or form, in terms of the color in terms of the reading that you sent me how, like, can you see the orange changing in a person, or is it more like, it just kind of evolves over time, how does it work, how does that change work?

KV: I can see or a sense of something big is happening behind the scenes. I can see that happening if it's something like a, it's not like a mood ring it's, you know as you stub your toe and you're angry that I don't see anger. It has to be something that you're thinking about multiple times over time, and then it will show up if it needs to be addressed and cleared out for you.

VL: Interesting, I feel like you’re reading my mind! Oh my gosh it's so crazy. So, how often, in that, in that case, how often do you recommend someone get?

KV: I'll say typically every four I'd say nouns or weeds for adults and six weeks for children, and that's usually good on keeping up with your spiritual hygiene and maintenance.

VL: Oh, spiritual hygiene that’s fun, I've never heard that before. And I also saw what you do or readings for pets, how does that differ from humans?

[12:17] KV: The pets are actually, like, sorry I love humans but pets are my favorite to do because it's just, they have so much personality and I feel like because they speak English and talk to us and have a lot of things that I want to say in any outlet that will approach them. And so, it's just, it's a lot like they're more bold, and sometimes the humans are like holding themselves back because they're nervous and sometimes skeptical and that kind of thing but animals are just excited to talk and so it's just really exciting and I, if you want to do something for your animal I see also every six weeks.

VL: Very cool. My sister and my brother may be interested in that, because they both have rescue animals. 

KV: And I always say animals, even rescued animals are so fun to do.

VL: I'm gonna have to tell them all about this and I'm gonna get them to listen to this episode and convince them to get it.

This is actually a great transition into Paula's question and she wants to know, what information do you get from an aura reading, and then I'll just like to add to that question. Does the information really differ between adults, children, animals, that kind of thing?

KV: Yes, it does differ between adults, children and animals, the type of information I get is like, you know something people always ask me is, I don't want spirit to say all these, you're gonna have bad luck and you're gonna, you know, bad things are gonna happen, and spirit won't bring through negative messages, but they might bring through something that you're going through now that you're aware of, and that needs to be addressed and healed, but they bring that through for adults, and also for pets but I ask them to not bring that through for children because I feel like we don't need to know those things at this time and you know it's privacy and that kind of thing but the type of information that you get is, you know, you might get, like, a little bit of something from the future like kind of a psychic reading but you also, it's mostly just peeling out things in the past or in the present.

VL: Very interesting and I feel like you have a little pet friend who's joining us today. Like, I heard. Yeah, I love I love and we have extra special guests. 

Okay so that is very interesting and what you just said actually struck a new question for me, which was, when you said you ask spirit not to tell you certain things for children. This is super interesting because I always think, Are you kind of bombarded by this message like you just hear something or feel something or see something and you're like whoa I didn't really want to hear or feel or see that. So it sounds like you've created quite the connection and the boundaries with spirit, where can you, can you like, turn the messages on and off. How do you manage your boundaries with spirit?

[15:42] KV: That is a really good question because I've struggled with this for a long time and I think a lot of other people struggle with this, and that's why they're afraid to tap into spirit more, because some people may not realize that they're, you know, intuitive and have all these spirits approaching them and they're afraid and nervous and don't know what's going on. So, um, I, my mom taught me about spiritual hula hoops. You have to hold the hoop on the ground and you step in it and then you physically run up with your hands and put it up and then no more. That's like a beginner's way of creating boundaries but now I just say, like if I'm doing a reading for someone and say, I can feel that their leg hurts or something and it's usually when I say, I feel like you're like hurt that's because my leg is hurting or is trying to tell me about it and so I feel it for a minute.

And I'm able to just say firmly, stop, no more. I understand what you're saying, you can back away with it now I don't need to feel that anymore. And same with spirit approaching me if they're just driving me nuts and just can't, you know like, can't get out of my space, I just stop and sometimes you have to get what sounds rude but sometimes you have to get like firm and angry with them and, like, back away, that's enough. I can't. I need some space, and they'll listen.

VL: Wow, this is so interesting. So, I used to work at a yoga studio and at this yoga studio there was a woman who was a Reiki healer, and I called her the angel lady because she talks to your angels and your guides, and to be having this lovely conversation with this woman and all of a sudden she was just kind of turned her head and not right now.

And you're kind of looking around like, What the heck is she talking to, there's nobody there. And then she's like, Sorry, go on and like, she's like this wonderful human and she would just be very firm no. That's enough.

KV: Yeah, and sometimes you have to do that.

VL: Yeah and I asked her, like, what are you doing, and she was, she told me she, this is when I kind of learned about boundaries in the spiritual world and how you can say, this is not the time and you really have to be firm in that and so she helps me because I'm someone who has very vivid dreams to the point where I wake up and I don't feel rested, because I have all these you know messages or adventures and all these crazy kind of things happened to me overnight that she's, she taught me that before bed. I'd like to do a meditation that basically said, Okay, if you need to send me a message you can do so but I need to be rested I need to sleep. So tonight is not the night, or like, we open to another night and, but I had to have to say it because it's like they don't get the boundaries and once you put them up with. I feel like trickle into real life to teach them.

Oh that's so fascinating. So tell me a little bit more about your mom and your relationship with your mom. You said that she is a very special person. She's been teaching you a lot about what an aura is and these boundary tools, what kind of work does your mother do?

KV: First of all, love my mom. She's my best friend, um, see, if she does everything she's kind of a jack of all trades really she does.

Like, she's a psychic and medium, and so she does, either in person readings, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. She does, either in person readings or video readings and uses tarot cards and oracle cards and all that stuff. It's really cool.

VL: I was gonna say that is really cool, and this is something that you basically grew up around. And so, this is like the conversation that you guys had when you were little. And so cool. Does your mom see auras as well?

KV: She does not see so she always says she was with me but I mean she's good at everything else so I got to have something.

VL: Oh my gosh, I love that so much. That is really cool you know what I think it's so important and so powerful, especially for kids who are seeing or feeling or hearing things that you know a lot of other people aren't recognizing, to have someone to say, It's okay, this is what that means and, you know, ask questions and, but in a way that's like supportive so I'm really glad to hear that you and your mom are so close did you find that really helpful. Growing up, I guess that's kind of what you knew, right.

KV: Yeah, it was definitely super super helpful. You know, every time I thought I was crazy and felt overwhelmed and all of this stuff she was just like, hey, no I can feel that there's a spirit here and that's why this is happening to you so you're not crazy. It's okay, and it was super helpful my whole life, especially in my teenage years.

VL: That's so cool. Okay so I have to ask because we're on a video chat right now. Can you see my aura right now?

KV: Yes, I can and it's really like, because of the plain background that you have, it's very vivid and strong.

VL: Cool. So that's interesting that you say that so I'm basically sitting in a closet and a wall behind me is like cream colored but plain. So, I got an aura reading with you I want to say in March, and then a month or a month and a half later, like, kind of recently, I was teaching a client privately and behind her was like a pretty plain background, and I saw this like red glow beside her head and I kind of like I almost had to rub my eyes a little bit and say what, what am I looking at here, and it was almost like my eyes got a little fuzzy and I could see this red edge. It's Oh I wouldn't call it a halo, I wouldn't even say it's like a full or it was just like a part of her like half her head on the outside was red and I thought, oh my goodness because, could this be like me seeing an aura.

KV: Yeah!

VL: Yeah. And I think that like the, the white background was really helpful and there was no red or orange or anything behind her it was literally like a white wall and I just remember thinking, oh my gosh I need to tell Kennedy this like, what do I do, so what, what should I do and situations like that, if we said if we think we see an aura, what do we do?

[22:24] KV: Okay, first of all, that is so exciting. If it's someone where you're close enough to say like, Okay, we need to stop for a second and like, ask them to back up all the way to the wall if they weren't already on the wall, and just ask them to stay still for a second, and then maybe ask them to think about different major things in their life and see if you can see any color changing, but, you totally thought an aura.

VL: This is really cool. I love that you know, we can kind of tap into these parts of us and I'm finding that I'm becoming a little bit more in tune with myself because I'm spending more time in nature. I am meditating a little bit more, mostly spending a lot more time alone since we're still in a quarantine at this moment. So I'm finding that it's easier for me to kind of connect to these, these parts of myself so I love the advice that you shared with you know using tools like the pendulum, and the rose quartz and being in that stillness and I find it really helpful.

So let's say that, that we can't, I mean I can't really see my own aura and I'm. This was like a one time thing and I saw this other woman's aura so if we wanted to get an aura rating with you, how do we get the most out of this experience? So you were saying, Like a plain background is really helpful. Would that be helpful for a reading with you?

[23:51] KV: Yeah, that would be helpful if you could take your picture with a plain background. Also, I really appreciate when people, you know, it's not just a headshot it's like half your mid body and, and then I can see more what's going on if you have something physical going on that needs to be healing that might show up better in that sort of shot so I'm trying to do better in recommending people take those types of pictures and so they can get the most out of it, like you say. 

VL: That's really interesting because I usually send you a selfie. But Well, yours are good because they're farther far enough back, yeah like I like to really extend my arm out there. Okay, that's so interesting, so kind of like the belly button up or like the waist up, and maybe like a bigger background. Can we do like a full body shot, can we send you the whole thing. Yeah, sure. That works great too. So cool. So I worked with you before and it's very simple. I love the way that you do this, I was telling you this before we started recording but basically it was like, you tell me what day you're available, I send you the picture in the morning, you send me the reading you know by the end of the day, sometimes even sooner, and it's all through email and I love it because I can kind of look back on it and see my reading and, you know, some like the readings that I've had were very emotional, and I, I'll talk about them because I'm comfortable talking about them but the first one was more of like a physical healing, which was so interesting because it had a little bit to do and I don't know if you remember this but had a little bit to do with my hormones, and I have been working on balancing my hormones at the time so it was so lovely, that this was a part of my reading. And then what I also found was interesting was that I wanted Craig to get the reading too. I was like Craig, I got you a gift. He was like, okay, he's not super into the whole like, we call it like the woowoo spirituality but he's open to, he's like open to trying whatever I'm like basically I'm like I'm going to take a picture of you and send it to somebody. So what I thought was really cool was that you saw, like, almost kinda like part of me and his aura and you're like oh you guys were you guys are part of each other's energy or something like that, how does that work, how do you know that that's happening?

KV: Sometimes that will show up, and like, you know sometimes couples want two readings together it'll be. Same color, same color or I had a couple that had, like, let's say red, yellow, orange and then the other person had orange, yellow, red and I just know that that means that they're connected and so it's really cool that way and that just means that your souls are super connected and where they're supposed to be at that time and so it's kind of reassuring I think at least.

VL: Yeah, that's lovely. And that's what I was gonna say about the second or a reading. I had with you was very different. The colors were very different, and you read the aura more of an overall reading versus breaking down each color. And what I thought was interesting about the second or reading was that it wasn't really a physical or emotional, well maybe emotional but it wasn't really a physical healing, it was more like hey, something's been on your mind, and this is this reassuring message that you needed to hear. And so again, like, two completely different readings, obviously, like, a few months apart.

But I thought that was pretty cool. And do you find that there's like a pattern with people who get readings if it mostly heals? Is it mostly like physical or emotional healings, is it you know an overall reading, I mean, I've only had two experiences.

[27:54] KV: Um, I honestly it's all over the place all the time sometimes, you know, I think that's why I asked for a picture, the morning of because things can change so quickly and you're just not sure what it's going to be and sometimes it's like you say I do ring by ring and that's how spirit wants to do it but lately for almost all of my readings and it's been addressed as the whole and it's kind of been like a psychic reading and I don't know if that has to do with things that are going on in the world or the way the moon is or something but it just, it's always moving and it's always fluid, it's really cool.

VL: That's really cool and for the listeners who don't understand what Kennedy or I are saying by like color by color ring by ring is that typically in the aura reading you're seeing multiple colors and they're kind of layered over top of each other in this reading and in my first reading you kind of started on the inside. And you worked your way out and I think of it like when you chop a tree down and you see the rings of a tree, it's kind of like, that's what it kind of looked like in the one of the readings that I've seen, and you explain that every color means something different. And that doesn't mean that pink for me means the same thing as pink for somebody else, it's very dependent on that specific reading. Is that correct?

KV: That is totally correct I there is, you know, if you Google, what is orange or me and there is like a, what do you call it like a legend of colors, but I don't really do well with that I don't follow that I used to try to do that but it just got confusing and the messages were contradicting what the legend said and so I just kind of do a free for all, I guess if that's what you want to say but it's totally different colors mean different things every day for the most part

VL:  I really appreciate that you explain this, when I was getting the war rating because to be honest I've always wanted an aura rating. I've never had one before and I never really knew anyone who could do it so when I, when I came across you and your page I was like, oh my god, I was so excited I jumped on the opportunity immediately. So it was really interesting to have you type it out and explain to them I thought oh this is so this is different. It's really cool.

My most recent reading, I feel like it was ambushed. Because you said there was like a Spirit coming through for a message for someone else, but not and you're like oh this is different.

So what I was gonna say to to that was that this isn't the first time that my energetic or spiritual reading has been, and the word is, I'm using as an ambush, but like, That's I guess the best word I can describe it as because like I'm here for a spiritual reading, and then someone else's messages coming through to me, and it's so wild how this has actually happened three times to me in the last year and I've probably only had like three or four sessions with people in the last year so I don't know if you have like an explanation for that this is like a little bit more of a personal and selfish question but I don't know if you have like an explanation for that. Or maybe some guidance for me like am I not putting my boundaries up or something. I just like an open vessel for other people's spirit animals and your guides to come.

[31:19] KV: Okay, is a good question because people are always like, they're kind of bummed about it and I totally understand. But it's honestly it's kind of like an honor because that means that you're just so open to the spiritual world that there's someone around you or something like that that's probably a skeptic, or just super closed off and spirit is desperate to get a message to them and they've been trying everything so last resort is kind of just to get their way through someone else's reading and just say excuse me, sorry I need to get the message through it's really important, and then that kind of, they come and then they go.

VL: It's so interesting and that's usually the feedback that I get that's like, oh, there's someone here or there's a message here, and the reason why this person has come or this energy is coming to you is because they know that you are going to receive this message and give it to the other person. And so I'm always just like.. “Mhmm”

I'm looking at the time and I'm thinking, Okay, I've just talked your ear off, but I do have a baby. Maybe this is like a loaded question, but I do have one more thing I wanted to talk to you about before we get into the last part of the show and basically it was something that you shared with me, you talked about opening our ER like people can do this opening our spiritual body to receiving those messages from spirit, as well as discovering manifestation power so I feel like we touched on this a little bit with tools with becoming still. Are there any last words of wisdom, pieces of advice, or maybe extending a little bit more expanding a little bit more on the manifestation part of that?

[32:48] KV: Okay so, it kind of goes back to the boundaries and you have to be super firm in your boundaries first. That's step number one, I feel like it's really you can't manifest until you have your boundaries.

And so, once you have your boundaries in place you can kind of use, like, a co-worker, almost like, Okay, now I'm, you know, receiving all these messages for you. What can you do for me now. And so, for example, if you want a way car, the snake, this model, this price, then you just have to keep saying, adults, can I please don't do that, say, like, this is what I want, okay this is what I want this is when I want it. And this is how, like, you have to help me in order to reach this in the timeframe that I want.

 And so, yeah, you just have to be firm and say, This is what I want, this is what I want it, you're gonna help me get to those points, and then you'll be able to reach your manifestation goals. Does that make sense?

VL: Yeah! Well, this has been a very interesting conversation about some technical difficulties around. But this has been so helpful I learned a lot. I feel like this was such a fun and refreshing conversation.

IG @disneyandauras

Website disneyandauras.com 

Check Kennedy and I out on June 25th when we go LIVE on Instagram @vallavignelife and I’ll also include the Rapid Fire Round in our live together.

Lastly, YOU ABSOLUTELY NEED TO BOOK A READING WITH KENNEDY ASAP!

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E133: Elevating Your Morning Routine with Alexandra Panagoulia of Batch Beauty Lab

Meet the founder of Batch Beauty Lab, business consultant, and philanthropist, Alexandra Panagoulia in this week’s episode of the Women’s Empowerment Podcast as she shares her high-vibe morning routine and the best practices for making our mornings better…

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[2:13] Valerie LaVigne: Welcome back to The Women's Empowerment Podcast today I'm super excited to introduce you to our newest guest Alexandra Panagoulia. Alexandra is an entrepreneur and business strategy consultant with a strong passion for creating a positive social impact with a love for all things wellness and self discovery, Alexandra created batch beauty lab, a local natural skincare brand to promote confidence individuality and self care, naturally, a one woman show determined to make a difference, Alexandra is also passionate about helping young women pursue their passions through her consultancy white owl strategy, Alexandra dedicates time monthly to speak with aspiring entrepreneurs and help to guide them in the direction of pursuing their dream.

Wow, you are so cool.

I'm so happy to have you on the show and honestly I already know this about you, but reading your bio. I just feel like you are such an Aquarius, and I love this so much, a teacher, a leader, a philanthropist. You know you do so many things and you help so many people so I'm super excited to have you on the show today, super excited to absorb all of your knowledge and information. So thank you so much for being here.

Alexandra Panagoulia:: Thank you so much for having me. I'm really excited

VL: how we met was about probably about a year ago now, through a kind of like minded community of entrepreneurs in the make lemonade online networking community so I think it's really excited to, to see how kind of our relationship has grown over the last year, and we've kind of popped in colors to social media now and then, we've reconnected, more so recently, and one of the things I love about following you and watching you and learning more about viewing and getting to know you as a person, is that you have some really incredible, kind of like self care habits and rituals, and some of them are really similar. So I've been noticing that you've been walking a lot, and tracking your, your walks just like I have been.

AP: Every morning, I love my morning walks. I love walking in the evening too, but there's something about, you know starting your day outside, creating a call within yourself and just acknowledging and appreciating the environment that we're in, and I think that it's really powerful for me to start my day.

Greeting the sun or walking outside and just getting my body moving and waking up slowly and really special and I've been walking every morning.

More so, you know, the beginning of the pandemic, it was a great way to get outdoors and change the scenery and when I was working my corporate job. I was walking to the bus stop every morning, but I was definitely not enjoying my surroundings and I was running around and always rushing and I think that the shift from walking as, like, a means to get somewhere and rushing and it's really been different for me when I'm walking to enjoy it to create a ritual for myself and clarity within myself, and also a sense of calm so it's been great. It's been a great transition for me.

VL: Yeah, I love that I think what you said was really cool about how, you know, it's a, there's a new intention or a new purpose behind your morning walks and your morning routine versus what you were doing before. So for those listeners who haven't explored your website before or know much about you, you, you're used to working corporate and then the last few years, you started your own company, and why don't you tell us a little bit about what batch beauty lab is and how it transpired how its manifested over the last few years.

[6:30] AP: I would love to. And it's a really great question. So, my professional background is in business strategy, marketing and communications. And so coming out of university. I held many corporate typing jobs within marketing communications, so I've worked at tech startups and I've worked in corporate banking. 

But while doing that, I've always had a passion for consulting and just helping people. And so, grow university I started a business called White owl strategy, and at White owl strategy I consult with business entrepreneurs on business strategy but also helping to refine their marketing and communication strategies and something that comes naturally to me and I really do enjoy watching people grow and watching their ideas transpire into businesses, and something that I always want to continue to do.

But when I was doing my master's, I had an opportunity to launch a business, and it was, it started in a school course actually so it was our entrepreneurship course, and I had the opportunity to think about what am I really passionate about and at the time, I was really passionate about living a holistic lifestyle and skincare and natural beauty is something that I've always been really interested in and I thought hey you know what, this is a great time for me to start exploring how I'm going to bring my passion for natural beauty together and beauty brands, my skincare brand. And when I was thinking about what that might look like at the time I was always hosting. Do It Yourself type workshops in my parents kitchen for skincare so do yourself skincare so we were making bath salts or body moisture bars and blending oils and I, that was my aha moment I was like, I'm going to create something where people have the opportunity to experience how great it is to blend and mix and create your own batch of product. And that's where I came up with bajri lab, and the original concept of batch beauty Labs is that you would find your own skincare so we have something very unique and original where customers are able to purchase a base plus booster combines the two to activate a formula, and essentially create their own bathroom product. And so, while I was in that, that master's program, I was working really hard behind the scenes on my business plan I participated in a pitch competition, and I actually got some funding to kickstart the business, and I use that funding to immediately find a chemist who was willing to work with me to create really great natural formulas that people would love.

And now here we are two years later, celebrated our 10 year anniversary of competence for the person who's using them and really celebrate individuality and people onto our website you'll see skincare for the bold and unique, and I find that in everything I do I really want to be bold. I want to be bold in my decisions and I want to embrace my uniqueness and I bought that to come out in our products as well and so that's a little bit of a batch beauty lab and how we got started.

[10:25] VL: That's so amazing. It's been such a short amount of time for this. This transition and this growth and like you said, like, it's not just your business and your lifestyle that's changed but also the smaller kind of habits that you're, you're focusing on, like your morning walks and how they changed from going to the bus stop to being more of this more of a ritual and really kind of opens up where do you use, you said you were grading the sun and slowly waking up but I think there's so much power, and so much beauty in kind of this, this new way of living that you have and how, you know, the corporate life was, I guess we could say and, you know, Jeff and correct me if I'm wrong, but the corporate life, I'd say it was supporting habits of, you know, check it off the box, get from point A to point B, where as this new business has never and batch beauty lab and the mission behind it is supporting a completely new way of living, and I'd love for you to share a little bit more about your morning routine can you take us behind the scenes maybe walk us through a morning into your life.

AP: Absolutely. And, you know, you bring up a really great point, my morning routine has definitely transitioned. And I think that once I had the autonomy to plan my own day and become an entrepreneur who's really invested in the business, I wanted to create a routine that allowed me to really be myself. And, you know, be an entrepreneur who's leading with clarity and purpose and intention. And when it came to creating my own schedule, I'm like, I'm going to create a ritual I need to create a ritual that's going to allow me to be myself throughout the entire day and that really is what my morning ritual is. And so, it's nothing too crazy, but I mean, it means a lot to me and I find that it just got me time in the morning. And so if I'm taking you behind the scenes. I first thing I do when I wake up is I open up my, my blinds. And I just love to embrace the day and greet the sun like I said, I am a certified yoga teacher so like do I really love doing sun salutations when I come out of bed, I just do one little sun salutation, you know, get the body moving, get the blood flowing, and just take some time to set an intention for my day so when I'm opening up the blinds and it's a sunny day or it's a really snowing morning I'm like okay so this is, this is the foundation of what we're dealing with in terms of environment so how am I going to set a positive intention for my day so that I'm going to be productive, how am I going to nourish my body and my mind so that I'm gonna be able to execute on what I want to achieve for the day. So taking time to just, you know, reflect and set an intention is definitely something that's really important to me.

After that, I, I am obsessed with the daily stoic like it's a book that was gifted to me by here here in front of me, it's by Ryan Holiday, it is essentially daily meditations that just, you know, provoke some thought into your day, and I read a page a day. And I think that's great for me to again set intentions. Think about things from a different perspective, and I really really do love to journal so it's something sent out to me that I'm reading then I'll journal about that. But I'll read my daily stoic, and then I'll pick up my five minute journal, and I'll quickly raise my gratitude list so what are the three things that I'm grateful for today. And what is my affirmation for the day so my affirmation today was, I am worthy and capable of achieving all of my dreams. And so, you know, writing an affirmation that is suitable for the day ahead or for not feeling, or just you know what I need to keep going, is something that really resonates with me. So, all of that takes about, I don't know, maybe the first 15 to 20 minutes of my morning and wash up. And I start my day with some more lemon water makes me feel really great. Shout out to my naturopathic doctor, Dr Sarah Duino for just, you know, instilling really great habits, and I think the lemon water is really great one. And then I go straight outside so change into my runners and I go straight outside for a morning walk and that's anything from 20 minutes to 45 minutes and just really enjoying like I said, environment, feeling gratitude, and again, because we built the intention that except for myself for that day, and really taking time to process okay this is what I have upcoming for the day, and this is how I want to show up for the people that I'm interacting with and this is how I want to show up for my business and this is how I want to show up for myself so taking that time in the morning to kind of be a little inverted and and how I want to show up in the world, it's really important for me.

BOOK: The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday

JOURNAL: 5 Minute Journal

[16:23] VL: I love those books that you mentioned.So, is that so many great things I feel like I want to incorporate a lot of the little habits that you are doing. And then some of the things I want to highlight from what you said were the kind of going inward, that introverted time for you to or that introspective time for you to describe how you want to show up each day whether that was the intention or the feeling, or how you how you want to act. And when I want to know from there is, like, can you give us an example for maybe the one that you use for today of what your intention was, and then how does that tangibly relate to the actions you take for the rest of the day?

AP: So, a great question. So today I knew that I had a coaching call with a client, this morning, and I also know that prepatch PT lab, I have my first two hires actually serving this week. And I also was thinking about how I want to show up for the podcast today. So, this morning on my morning walk I really was thinking about the frequency that I want to be in for the rest of my day, I want to be really high vibes for my coaching client. I want her to feel confident about her business I want her to feel confident about the information that we're exchanging and, and I want to exude that for her. I want to support and show up for her in that way. And I knew that I wanted to be authentic. Today when you and I were talking and I also know that after this call when I delve into the work for batch beauty, love I want the new hires to know that I'm here to support them and to help them and to help them grow and that's really important to me. So when you're asking me like what did I do, what did I think about while setting those intentions, how did I decide that that's how I want to show up. I really started to think about, you know, the things that could impact that positive vibe and how I'm going to choose to handle them today. And so, you know, it's not that there's any predisposed situation or environment that I have in mind but you know things come up like a call runs late, or I I'm rushing because I'm actually always rushing but so this, this routine for me is like really great allows me to slow down and, and to gather my thoughts.

But I think it really is just a matter of creating your intention, determining how you want to show up, how do you want to show up in the world, and how are you going to react to things that kind of impede on your plans. And it's hard and it takes a lot of self awareness and it takes a lot of control to be able to decipher your emotions from your actions, but I think that if you could think that you could take time in the morning to set those intentions, and also, you know, determine how you want to show up and how you want to act if things don't go according to plan, just allows a smoother execution of your day when, when things do fall in line.

[20:20] VL: Yeah, that is a great point, and even just thinking of myself this morning, I set the intention to be calm today, and I didn't think too much, but I knew that I had a lot of things to do so.

 from the studio to the podcast to my own consulting, there, there was a lot on the to do list. And I thought, Okay, I'll get an early headstart on the day. I'm going to go to the, I'm going to walk to the post office and deliver my packages first thing in the morning. And on my way and thankfully I figured this out very early on in my walk but on my way. I'm like, oh it's such a beautiful day. Wait a second, it's really early in the morning, Will the post office be open to take these packages, and luckily I had my phone on me and I looked at that and I'm like, no, they're closed, and then I turned around, I'm like okay well like you know I got a little walk in, and now I have to go to the next thing. And part of it was like oh this is kind of throwing me off because in a way I could have, I could have decided and chosen this this situation as, oh my gosh you're just wasting my time. And then I thought well this is just poor planning, and then for some reason I thought this podcast interview was an hour before it actually was so I was like, all set up here in my little closet, getting ready to do that episode and then I'm thinking that's great I'm not getting a notification on my phone that like, five minutes to go, and I will go like, Oh my God it's not for another hour, like, and I just felt like, again another Hiccup and I'm like no I didn't. I was so stressed out about my massive to do list this morning, but I didn't really consider the how I was going to incorporate my intention, and I mean it was it's happening anyway like I remain calm. I was like alright well whatever, go back to the desk, go back to what I was working on before. Then we'll just return here but it's like these little hiccups throughout the day. And you know, that happens sometimes, you know, we set the intention to be calm, we set the intention to be productive and some surprises come away, or we forget something, or we get a call or whatever, and I think it's important to remember that even if we don't get that full morning routine or even when those hiccups arrive at those speed bumps, we can always reset so I know that for this podcast episode I'm going to reset again and maybe I'll do that through a walk or inspiring me to take that action to go through a walk. So, yeah, I love that you're thinking about, you know what you have to do, how are you.

Probably the best kept secret and maybe it's not a secret, but I think it's one of the things that people often forget as entrepreneurs or business owners. We know going out into the world each day, not thinking about how you want to show up and break it down into something more specific. What are you going on today? If you are speaking in front of people, how do you want to show up for them? If you're working on your business, how do you want to do it? How do you want to be in your business? I think it's so important and I love how you are. How are you sharing that so thank you so much, it's just getting so much insight into my own into my own intentions and my own practices.

So you talk about, you know, really believing in achieving clarity, and a life and in business, and yes we can take it into something a little bit more specific and break it down into our day to day. But what about those times where, you know, whether it's maybe it's a lack of clarity. How do we find clarity when we're when we're having trouble with, with that focus. How do we turn off that outside noise?

[24:16] AP: Great question, and I'm a really really strong believer that your actions, the to align with your intentions, and so can make it perfectly clear, and by no means, I have, by no means perfected the morning routine but we're, you know, achieving clarity and it's a constant learning process, but I can see that I've improved on becoming very self aware, and I think that's something, you know, a tangible takeaway is, you want to align your daily actions with your daily intentions, it's really important, so if I want to be successful in business, I want to have an organized workflow and I want customers to land on my website and feel a sense of competence and, you know, like I want them to feel the emotion that I'm putting into my business, I need to make sure that my daily actions are aligned with with those intentions so daily consistent action. I think it is something to play here. You want daily consistent action towards your goal, and I think it's really important, and that daily consistent action needs to be aligned with your intentions, and once you can do that successfully, and you are so aware that what you're doing today does not align with the intention of being confident, powerful, strong, successful, whatever your intention might be called.

If your daily action, if you're self aware enough to recognize that your daily actions aren't aligned with your attentions.

You can make a change in your you'll be able to, you know, be one step closer to achieving your goals and achieving clarity so if my intention for the day is, you know, I just want to have a nice calm productive day and I'm running around and rushing and duplic sorry my actions are not aligned with my attention, and I'm aware enough to recognize that and so I take a step back, like you said my regroup reset, and that's okay. That's actually great it's a great personal development to be able to recognize when you need to take time for yourself, we need to reset. And, you know, take that moment to decide how you want to move forward.

And that is considered to me daily consistent action, that's something that I do, constantly to be able to maintain clarity, and when it comes to, you know, clarity, for my business when I am my most authentic self. That's when I get my best business ideas and that's when the ideas actually work in my favor. So if I'm thinking about something or want to do something but I'm not sure on how to execute it or you know I have this really great idea for a product to bring to market but something I, but I'm unsure I'm unclear on how to do it or even how to execute it's something that I really love to do is just take, take time for myself. So like you said, reset, go for a walk, do some yoga, do some journaling and get back to being my true authentic self, shut out the outside noise. And when I can come back to myself that I'm thinking about, you know my intentions or something that I want to execute on, that's when I get my best ideas, that's when they're working in my favor, that's when they're on my frequency, etc. And I think that if you have clarity within yourself. You can get clarity within other aspects of your life because you are truly authentically, moving forward, fearlessly and confidently yourself. If that is making sense or if I'm just rambling let me know but I think that the authenticity and originality and uniqueness that we all have within ourselves. If that's what creates our personality, those are our characteristics, and finding clarity and taking time to come back to that within yourself, allows for more clarity and other aspects of your life.

[28:35] VL: This is such a deep topic. But as we're talking about it I'm like oh my gosh there's so many pieces to this and there's so many layers to it, and I think the biggest thing, or I guess the thing that I want to amplify and what you're saying is, it doesn't need to be a huge thing that you do every single day it's the small thing that you do and what makes it so powerful is the time is the consistency that small thing over time. And it compounds and it becomes this transformation not overnight, and maybe this is the missing piece for people to say, you know, I want the successful business I want the you know the life where I feel good in my body every single day.

You know what you want, whatever the result is fill in the blank, and we're here doing the okay we did a morning ritual today. Okay, my intention this morning was to be calm. And then tomorrow we're like okay we're not calm anymore. Well this is where the work comes in, is that over time, we're building into this practice, and this goes for everything you said whether it's walking every morning or creating the sun or setting the intention or becoming more true and authentic to yourself. This is also compounding over time. This is also growing each day as you practice it and you know as you're speaking I can, I can speak from my own experience to like, the more that I connect to myself, the more that I make time for this important part of my morning or my day routine.

The more clear I get in my business and I spoke about this on the previous episode, or no, it was an IG live that I did this past week was that I was feeling like I was really struggling, and I'm thinking to myself, How can I not be making sales right now how can I be feeling so horrible in my body, and doing the work I was showing up every single day. I'm doing my routine, I'm speaking authentically like I could not be more real and more present than I am right now. But everything is going to crap.

And this is the time where we need to keep going and maintain that consistency, because I'm not even kidding you. A couple days later, I kept doing it showed up. Wasn't everybody not doing so great, this is what's helping me this is what I'm doing this is how I'm staying consistent. This is not setting intentions and showing up, and within a few days, I had two one on one clients.

I had, you know, the number of people saying like, how inspired they were about my work, how much they enjoyed a podcast episode. I mean, there just was like this, overflowing abundance of all of the things I was desiring and you know people listening to this could say like oh well that morning routines on so lash, and I would love to have the luxury of, you know, a one hour time for myself. And, and you can probably say speak to this too but like, start with passive and credible practice, it started with these little tiny practices that we cleared over time to create something that, that speaks to you, that supports you. So now I'm going off on a tangent and rambling, just so much to what you said that it has, you know these deeper layers of this deeper meaning to it where it's those small actions, small actions consistency I feel like are the three things that if anyone's listening to this podcast episode is going to take something away. These three words together that we need to remember.

[32:44] AP: Yeah, you bring up a great point and you know I have people reach out to me because I really love to document my daily walks on my Instagram or you know just share a little beautiful picture. The trees or the clouds, whatever it might be, but I really want to get out and do that. How do you do it. I have to wake up an hour and a half earlier, to start my day. My day starts at nine o'clock and I know my desk at nine o'clock I know I'm waking up earlier because it's really important to me to check that time and so I think that creating non negotiables for yourself. It's also really important, creating those non negotiables boundaries that allow you to establish that time for yourself, and it doesn't have to be an hour, it can be 15 minutes it can be 15 minutes when you wake up, it can be 30 minutes before you go to the bed but it's really important to take time for yourself. And that's something that I've learned throughout the years, and that's what I think drives me to want to be better and it motivates me because now I understand after, you know, achieving some of my own personal goals, that it's really the daily consistent action, like you said, that makes all the difference, but I wanted to touch on, on the point of something you said earlier, is that sometimes you just, You don't want to wake up and do yoga, or go for a walk or you're tired or you're this is your lens so many things come up, but I heard, I don't I don't remember why I did this but the point is is sometimes when you don't want to do something that's exactly what you need to do if your bodies so I don't want to go over, I don't want to go for a walk or stretch. Sometimes that's exactly what your body needs you to do, or if you know you're, it's fine to have those off days, but it's also really productive to challenge yourself to do something and build your mental endurance, especially when you don't want to do it and I find that there are so many mornings where I'm like, I need to press snooze or I'd love to have like an extra 20 minutes to just like curl up in bed. But then I'm like, You know what, I think my body wants to outside or if my body needs to move, or I need to achieve that mental clarity so I'm gonna challenge myself to get up and even if it's only for 10 minutes this morning.

So, I think, a point that I'd love to share with the audience is that challenge yourself.

And, you know, establish a mental endurance for things that you really really want in life and get them and challenge yourself and create a routine or create intentions and actions that align with what your dream is aligned with what you want to achieve. And I think that it all comes down to self awareness. And, again, sounding really repetitive but the daily consistent action

[36:02] VL: you spoke to so many great points and this year there are going to be days where we're like, I don't want to show up. I don't want to do work. And I will say, the sharing my walks on social media, and people knowing and messaging me and texting me and saying like oh like I went for a walk today and, you know, it's such a beautiful day You inspire me to get outside and that is holding me accountable for my own practices and so having a without social accountability or a healthy habit mentor like when I offer or just a friend. We can meet for those walks or have a phone call when it makes such a difference in maintaining the habit, especially when you're first starting out, you know, you start to lose a little bit of that momentum, well no, you're building momentum but you're losing a little bit of the inspiration and the motivation. So, yeah and you know what there is a little bit of discipline involved in creating any new habit, so whether that's waking up earlier, or, you know, really creating the space and physically putting into your calendar, I'm taking a break, and turn off your computer and turn off your phone when you're on those breaks I think it's really important.

And this is something that I resisted, really long time was discipline, and a routine. It was just so funny now because now I coach people with habits. And I have a very, very colorful schedule was very organized. However, in the, in for a long time I thought I was such a rebel, like, I don't need a norm clock, I don't need a schedule, I don't need to be anywhere doing anything at a certain time like that life is rigid. And what I was completely missing. Was that discipline, equals, freedom, and having these intentions having a you know a little bit more of an outline to my schedule and it's not like incredibly rigid there's there are scheduled breaks in there so some people would find that rigid because I'm scheduling my really it's a non negotiable for me at this time every day, I go for a walk or I turn off the computer or the screen or whatever it is, I spend time outside. That is actually allowing me to create a life of financial freedom of time freedom of just feeling what's important to me and my core value is freedom and for a long time I didn't realize how much the discipline of a routine was actually going to bring me to that place of freedom. So, you know I wouldn't, I always like to encourage people to not hate it until they try it and see if it works you'll learn and experiment with yourself and really give yourself that time. So what would you recommend for someone starting out, what would you recommend, where they start and how long they try their new habit, some checkpoints maybe take us through that little bit.

[39:03] AP: Great question. I would recommend to do something that makes you feel good, makes you feel good, you should be doing it. If it's going for a walk, like we were saying, or journaling or doing a little bit of movement or stretching in your bed or even meditation I love meditating. It makes you feel good, and if it's a habit that you want to start, then you should consider doing it. And you're the habit expert here, so I want to say. I hear that it takes 21 days to form a habit, is that right?

VL: It depends on the person.

AP: Yeah, right. So, I would say. My recommendation would be to do something that makes you feel good, do and at the same time every single day and do it for four weeks three to four weeks, and hold yourself accountable. I love that you brought the accountability point up because that's a really really great point. And if you can have an accountability buddy, or, you know, create a mental contract with yourself like I'm not going to go to bed. Unless I wrote one page in my journal. And you make that a mental contract with yourself and an agreement that, but you really want to stick to that I would recommend doing something like that. I know that before I go to bed before I put my head down on the pillow. I always write three great things that happened during the day, and I keep my, my pen in my notepad beside my bed and I know that that's just an agreement that I have with myself before I go to bed tonight I want to acknowledge three great things that happened today. And so, you know, just to kind of sum up the recommendation, it would be do something that makes you feel good, preferably a habit that you want to start doing for three to four weeks, do it the same time every single day doesn't have to be can be something like one minute meditation or two minutes scratch or whatever works for you.

Guaranteed. If you can do this to it, you'll feel so good you will have a new found confidence in yourself because you're sticking to something that you've agreed to, and you're the only person that can create positive change in your own life. And I think that there's going to be time for it's going to be challenging and it's going to be difficult to stick to your goals but again going back to the point that it's challenging, then you need to do it because it's, it's helping you grow. And I think that that's a really great takeaway for the people listening here today.

[42:00] VL: You made some excellent points for sure. It is such a powerful part of personal development, to overcome challenges to celebrate those wins and that success and that transformation that's happening. And it can be hard to see that over, because it's so small but over time. There is a difference, and there is a transformation there but sometimes we don't always see it because we're the ones taking that one step in front of the other, the people who aren't on the journey with us every single day, they see the transformation from day one to day 30 or however many days you've been doing it for so I think it's really important to look back and to celebrate the strength that you've built over time right and to, to record those wins every day. Love that. Love your, your gratitude journal practice. This has been so wonderful and I feel like you're such a breath of fresh air and love that you shared your morning routine with us, and kind of some of the tangible tips and and the reminders and they inspiration for us to get started with our own time, and your new routine to really create clarity, through, through these habits so thank you so much. Can you share with us, where we can find you, where we can follow you and how we can support your business?

WEBSITE + SHOP | www.batchbeautylab.com

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RAPID FIRE ROUND

1. What are you currently reading? What’s your favourite book?

How to WIn Friends and Influence People

The Story of Steve Jobs

2. What do you love most about being a woman?

I love, that's a really great question. There's so many things, It's like how do you choose. I was, I What came to mind is just I love how openly emotional I am but I don't know if that's exclusive to being a woman, but I think that there are a lot of times where women find themselves in situations where they're like, Oh, they're not taking me seriously or, I'm being told I'm too emotional, but that's happened to me, and I embrace it, it is who I am and that is what makes me authentically me, and it's what it's what adds character to my life into my story and, and I'm proud of that.

3. What does empowerment mean to you?

Really great question. What comes to mind is being empowered means being confident in what you're doing and feeling supported by people around you, or even yourself, and showing up for yourself, empowering yourself, you know, having a willingness to learn, Having a beginner's mindset is super super important to empowering yourself to achieve things that you thought you couldn't do, or to, you know, show up in the world as somebody who you want to show up as an being that human that's making a positive social impact in the lives of others around you. And so empowerment to me really means taking the power back from external factors, and moving forward confidently and fearlessly in your beliefs to achieve, you know, what's important to you.

4. What are you currently working toward?

So many things. I have a laundry list, okay, of aspirations, but something I think is really, that's really important worth noting is. I like, like you mentioned, I'm really, really passionate about helping others achieve, confidence, and she their business goals and their dreams. And so something that I'm currently working on in batch beauty lab is creating a program where I could be just the business in general is going to help young entrepreneurs kickstart their businesses as well and that's something that's really important to me. And over the next few months, keep an eye out because there will be a program that's rolling out, that has to do with creating positive social impact within the community, but also helping young entrepreneurs achieve their goals.

VL: Okay, you feel like world domination is maxed out so incredible. Well, Alex, thank you so much again for being on the show is an absolute pleasure to speak with you always, and I want to acknowledge you for one taking the time to speak with me today and to for all of the incredible work that you're doing. You have impacted my life positively and I know that you're changing so many people's lives so many people's businesses. It's really cool to to see all of the kind of facets of what you do and your skill set and your talents, and how they, they really do support people and, and women and I'm so excited to see all of the rest of the things that you create, and you share with everyone. So thank you again and I really appreciate everything you've done. 

AP: Thank you! Oh this is so fun and fun fact this is actually my first podcast, so thank you for having me. And I'm really excited for what's to come, and as always I'll be following your journey and your daily habits and I look forward to what's to company to.

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E131: How to Incorporate Mindfulness Daily with Sarah Sturino

Learn about the nine pillars of mindfulness and how to start incorporating them into your daily practice to live a more mindful and heart-centred life, featuring special guest, Sarah Sturino…

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[1:11] Valerie LaVigne: Welcome back to The Women's Empowerment Podcast. Today I have a very special guest Sarah Sturino. Sarah is a woman, mother and daughter, friend, teacher, Pilates instructor Reiki practitioner and mindfulness facilitator, her whole life has been a wellness journey. All the work she does with others stems from her own self healing and her fundamental belief that we all must operate out of love, rather than fear. Sara is an outspoken introvert, a beauty seeker, and anxiety queen in recovery, a lover of crystals and essential oils and movement junkie and a lifelong learner. Oh my goodness gracious, I feel like you wear all the hats, and I love that that bio ended with lifelong learner because I'm looking at all of the things you do and I'm thinking, Well, she must have taken every course, ever.

Sarah Sturino: We do love to learn and take courses, I think I could have been one of those like students for sure.

VL: Absolutely, and I find as a, as a teacher and instructor myself, I find that, You know, there's always an opportunity to learn more, and it's not just from the courses but also from the people that we work with, and our students and our clients and all that good stuff so Sarah and I actually met at a was like a little photo shoot party thing was really random was kind of like a serendipitous thing on my end anyway. And we didn't know each other and I remember like, when I first saw Sarah I was very intimidated.

She's very, you have this like, incredible presence that's a fairy, it's your you have like a very confident presence of very you're very sure of yourself, but you can see how when you're, when you're, when you're holding space in a room, you're also very aware of other people's energy so right away I knew that you are very much an empath but you had really good boundaries with your energy and whose energy you were going to hold spacebar, and I was like, Whoa, this is someone who I don't know, you just, it was like fascinating because it was like I wanted to get to know you, but I was also a little nervous.

SS: That's very funny actually to me and interesting because I think once people know me I'm anything but intimidating, but I often, I often hear that.

And I would love to be able to view myself from somebody else's eyes because I think what some of that is, is some of that is, is some walls that I put up, right, that is maybe because of past hurts, and even the boundaries thing I'm not sure my boundaries were that great back when I met you or I guess we're always developing them them lifelong.

Yeah, I've always been very aware of the energy in the room and gravitated towards certain people and kind of almost shied away from others, so we definitely gravitated towards one another that day and, yeah, you're right.

VL: Yeah, exactly. And I was gonna say to you I mean, now that I've gotten to know you over the years, I think I kind of was like, oh my god I can't believe I thought she was so intimidating before because you're actually very wonderful to talk to, you're very, now I feel like you're really approachable and, I mean we've had so many deep conversations that I always think after I leave the conversation at the end like Darren, who should have recorded this for the podcast so it's really a pleasure to have you on the show today it's definitely, it's definitely been an overdue interview. And today we we've actually decided that, out of all the things we'd love to talk about because I'm sure we could talk about oils and crystals, and pilates and all the other things. but what we're really focusing on today is mindfulness, and you said it before, and I'm sure you'll, you'll mention it again but mindfulness is really a huge pillar and a huge part of everything else you do so, why don't we start with what is mindfulness.

SS: Sure, well I think to make it as uncomplicated as possible really all it is is being in the present moment, without judgment, without judgment of others with their judgement of yourself, which is probably the one most of us struggle more with is the self judgment. So, I mean there are a million different definitions out there but I think that is the best, most simple one but it is being in the present moment, without, without judgment.

We get into some of the pillars of mindfulness and some of that but that is a really good definition not to live in the past not to live in the future. And just to be here in this day and moment.

VL: And I think that's the best way to explain it is, it is really much earlier so much about being present, but that's not always easy.

SS: It's not easy at all.

And even when you're a mindfulness coach or mindfulness facilitator, you find yourself not in the present moment, at times.

VL: So, so often.

[6:39] SS: I think one of the, this is where some of my other trends come in because one of the best methods for me personally for getting myself into the present moment is movement and breath, and those can be connected or not connected. So whether I'm breathing through my Pilates practice or yoga class, or whether I'm just pausing and doing some type of breath work those for me and for many, are two of the ways that you can definitely return to the present moment, and with the movement piece, even if it's not feasible in that moment or in that date to squeeze in a yoga or pilates practices, perhaps, dancing around the kitchen, even just shaking the body balancing the body in different ways, moves the energy around and shakes up the brain and puts you back into the present.

VL: Yes, exactly. I think movement is well for me, I would say it was, it would be a pillar of mindfulness is that one of the pillars of mindfulness, I feel like there's a specific pillar here. 

SS: No, it's not one of the pillars of mindfulness, but I think it's one of the ways that we achieve the pillars, mindfulness, the pillars of mindfulness come from one of the fathers of mindfulness, which is Jon Kabat Zinn and he is one of the goddesses who kind of brought it out, what is woven into the Western world.

According to him, and I would abide by this the nine pillars are 

1. Non-judging

2. Acceptance

3. Patience

4. Beginner’s Mind

5. Trust

6. Non-Striving

7. Letting Go

8. Gratitude

9. Generosity

In general, and some kind of mingling of those nine things in your life will lead you to truly mindful practice mindful existence.

VL: Well those are actually pretty new to me, I don't think I've ever heard of those nine pillars before but I can definitely see how they tie into mindful, I want to say a mindful lifestyle a mindful human mindful approach to life, I suppose, yeah definitely a mindful approach to life. I really liked that. So, okay, maybe we can break it down a little bit more because I know I've said this before but and I know you've listened to several of the podcast episodes but the show was really about having the tangible, practical tactical tools and methods that we can really take into action because really the only way we're gonna change the only way for transformation, the only way we're really going to have this approach is if we take action so we jump into some of the ways to, to use mindfulness or to incorporate mindfulness into our lives. 

SS: Definitely. What I'd love to do is to take you and your our listeners through a little mindfulness practice if that's okay with you. Yes, that would be great. Okay, so let me explain where this mindfulness practice comes from one of the places that I am facilitated with three certified as mindfulness illustrators through an organization called mindfulness without borders.

As the title alludes to they are all over the world, and they're really trying to offer mindfulness to people of all religions, all cultures, make it very accessible to people so I chose to become certified as a facilitator of their Youth Ambassadors Program. Although it's a youth program I've also delivered it with adults and it works extremely well, that I do a lot of work with. So, within their programs all of their programs. They have a breeding practice that they call to them to you that, and the reason why they call it the practice to them. It was named by one of their ambassadors, one of their mindfulness investors in Rwanda, and in that language to them refers to the idea of slowing down before reacting.

As the title alludes to they are all over the world, and they're really trying to offer mindfulness to people of all religions, all cultures, make it very accessible to people so I chose to become certified as a facilitator of their Youth Ambassadors Program. Although it's a youth program I've also delivered it with adults and it works extremely well, that I do a lot of work with. So, within their programs all of their programs. They have a breeding practice that they call to them to you that, and the reason why they call it the practice to them. It was named by one of their ambassadors, one of their mindfulness investors in Rwanda, and in that language to them refers to the idea of slowing down before reacting.

So it's the idea that if you do this free breathing practice, you're creating space between your emotion and your reaction, kind of anchor.

So I can take you through a brief TUZA, and then I can also tell you and your listeners where you can access different voices taking you through something very similar to them.

VL: Yes, that would be amazing

[12:24] SS: Okay, so, Val and listeners let's get ready. You're just gonna sit in uncomfortable positions. You can lie down, you prefer, that is fine. And I'd like you to allow both, both of your feet to connect or

rest your hands on your thigh, palms up, if you want to invite new energy in and palms down if you feel like you need to ground yourself and just let your shoulders. Slowly move away from your fingers gently close your eyes. If that's comfortable for you, or find a reference point on the floor, where you can return your eyes that you get your arm.

rest your hands on your thigh, palms up, if you want to invite new energy in and palms down if you feel like you need to ground yourself and just let your shoulders. Slowly move away from your fingers gently close your eyes. If that's comfortable for you, or find a reference point on the floor, where you can return your eyes that you get your arm.

Don't judge the feeling.

Now bring your attention to the flow of your breath.

I'm not going to ask you to breathe in any special way, simply notice each breath coming into the body with an in breath and leaving the body has been out breath.

I'm not going to ask you to breathe in any special way, simply notice each breath coming into the body with an in breath and leaving the body has been out breath.

Do not judge your personal experience with it. Be kind and compassionate to how you are feeling in the moment, allowing each inhale to be a new beginning. and each exhale to be a letting go.

Allow each inhale to bring new energy in, and each exhale. Select by taking one more breath. When you're ready. Slowly bring your attention back to your surrounding perhaps introduce some movement to the body a little stretch.

And let how you feel now, guide you through the rest of the day, and I'm going to ask you as I would if I was facilitating this in the group. How do you feel now?

[14:36] VL: I feel, definitely calmer and more grounded. I didn't realize how tired I was like I was breathing in then yawning a bunch of times.

And, but then, this is kind of an aside but sometimes when I go into meditation or I do Reiki on someone else, or even myself whenever I go into like a spiritual place I think beyond a lot and it's not always because I'm tired it's like this is like the way that I connect to her spiritual energy. So maybe that was happening, or maybe a combination of both.

Also, I rarely when I'm sitting down on a chair, or the sofa or whatever, I rarely put my feet on the ground. And this is something that someone else has brought to my attention recently too.

So, this is, I feel like I need this so much right now and I'm sure people listening will also agree with how much like grounding and just mindfulness and being present, noticing the breath, because I think as we start to notice our breath, we also start to notice that we're holding our breath, or we're not taking deep breaths.

But yeah, that was lovely. And that was only like a minute or two, it was so easy to do.

SS: Yeah, and that I think is the key is that it doesn't need I think the word meditation can be intimidating to people. Whereas, just something as simple as closing your eyes, sitting with feet on the ground, and doing it. The breath is a mindfulness practice. It doesn't have to go deeper into becoming an actual meditation. It certainly can. Eventually, but that we can still get a results with just that two minutes.

Really what is breath and inner, inner focus is, is I think what makes it very accessible for people.

VL: Yeah, you know what I think meditation can be very intimidating because there's a lot of different types of meditation. I really like how accessible you've kind of demonstrated that mindfulness practice to be. And, I mean it's as simple as putting your feet on the ground and noticing your breath, well you could do that anywhere, right. We could do that when were at the grocery store, we could do that when we're getting out of our car from driving, we just put our feet on the ground, take a breath and then that's our transition to the next place or the next thing that we're doing so.

It's simple, and it's one of those things where, you know the work or the transformation that we talked about earlier comes when we just do the work and we repeat it over time.

Well, as you know I love chatting about habits. I feel like we could make this a habit, but could we maybe go through a couple more maybe examples it doesn't have to be a mindfulness, quote unquote meditation or anything or mindfulness practice but maybe some other things that we could do, and incorporate into our lifestyle.

SS: Sure, I actually when I hold my group I actually talk about developing mindful daily habit. And the reason why the word habit, I guess, is so important, is I'm just going to delve into a little bit here. I'm currently taking a program at McMaster University called mindfulness and modern thought. and it's a series of five courses and of course I'm presently taking it's about the neuroscience behind COVID, which is fascinating to explore doing studies where they're taking MRIs of people's brains before doing an eight week mindfulness program and after and seeing many changes in the brain matter of the brain, left brain matter in that fight or flight part of the brain more gray matter in the logic, reasoning part of the brain, these are all things we want to see. That's, to me it's like scientific proof that eight weeks of a habit, creates actual biological change in the brain, a crazy, like, I love that they can actually prove that out with the technology.

So to give you an example of a mindful daily habit, this is something that happened to me recently, is my dishwasher broke, and of course, my immediate reaction was, oh this is not good and it's it's terrible and. And then I thought, like, the first time I was washing dishes in ages, how mindful practice them dancing, rounded down the ground, not thinking about anything else, not judging the situation or thinking how angry I am that dishwasher is broken and I might have to pay money to have it, but just being in that moment, I haven't met my family, my Washington petition is a quiet moment for don't have to do anything else I can breathe while I'm doing it. It made me so much less resentful of the broken, dishwasher, so adding any kind of daily habit. 

Another thing that I've personally done is put a little form kind of mantra thing on my mirror in my bathroom, so that I remember to be mindful while I'm brushing my teeth because again something we do every day, probably more than once or twice a day, and just standing there, you know on the ground, a moment to be mindful to let the brain go kind of into a void space or a blank slate, and breathe.

VL: Oh, my goodness, you're, you're hitting the nail on the head today I want to brush my teeth I'm like okay these are all the things I have to do tomorrow, when I'm doing the dishes, I'm like oh my god okay so now I have to do this which make this meal.

So I feeling called out, which I find a lot of guests are doing to me like I think I need, I think I need this more than anyone else today.

SS: But I think we all do it though we all fit and the more, the more, the more we do the mindful part, the less likely we are to go back there, just like anything else when we start any new habit of constantly talking about habit. Yes. Yeah, so that it becomes more habitual and more of a regular part of your routine, and the mindful moments come more naturally, sometimes I encourage my clients that little alarm in their phone with mindful moments when they're first learning this because, let's face it the day is busy for most people crazy and they need to, you know, then that little reminder was, okay, I'm gonna stop and breathe until it become more natural, and even for myself at times when things are really crazy.

VL: 

[24:40] SS:I think everything everybody ebbs and flows practice like this, that's important with the non judgement people to know that we all ebb and flow I would like to think even the most mindful people like the Dalai Lama or Buddha probably.

VL: Yeah that's a great point to make, and I think a lot of what you're saying to has, has a lot to do with habit triggers, which we talk about on the show as well which basically are the cues or the, the if this happens then then so if we're doing the dishes, then we become more mindful if we're brushing our teeth and we become more mindful, and it really does as someone who has practiced mindfulness myself, it really does become more automatic or that habitual routine, and you're, you find yourself sometimes so like, you've probably experienced this before when you're driving to work, is driven to work so many times countless times, that you'll be in the middle of your drive and be like, Oh my God, how did I get here, because you're so not present in the moment, whereas the opposite can also happen when you do become more mindful and you do create a more mindful routine is that you find yourself really in the present moment really enjoying something really just being there with kind of nothingness. I remember going when Craig and I first started dating. 

We went on a walk in nature, and at the time, I was really working on mindfulness I was practicing yoga every day I was meditating, I was like kind of dating myself really. And then I started dating Craig, we went into the forest and he was talking to you talking and I said, just listen, just listen to the - it's first second date, whatever it was, we're a little bit nervous with each other so you want to kind of, there's no, there's no space for that awkward silence when you're talking bass I just listened to the wind through the trees. Do you hear that, and it was like an eye opening experience for him because he hadn't taken the time to notice that. And so now when we go for hikes or walks or whatever, he'll stop me now so you'd listen, listen to the trees, and you could hear the wind blowing through the leaves and it's like that one moment of being able to say, okay, I can hear this nature sound or I can see, you know this tree in front of me and when you're really taking a look at what you're seeing I mean maybe it's not in nature but something else and really, you know, just being there and not thinking about the past or thinking about the future, it's pretty it's pretty incredible and then you'll do it more and more that it carries you throughout your day and yeah it's a really cool. It's a really cool feeling but it's definitely not the easiest to go from high energy, high anxiety and then flip the switch to mindfulness, so we have our kind of guided mindfulness practice, we've got our habit triggers of one we can get into mindfulness, are there any other I know you've talked about breath and movement, are there any other things, or ways we can incorporate this into our life.

SS: so I think that you mentioned one which is kind of neat a little light bulb go off in my head which is nature here so nature deprive yourself so you know in North American society I think in general. I know that in here as authors write actual prescriptions for report is a prescription for their patients to go into the forest, spend time with nature, and I actually think that that's one of the ways if I really think back, it was either my movement practices or nature that first drew me to mindfulness is a very good way. Even if you do a five minute walk outside in your neighborhood and it's a silent block you're not listening to music you're not listening to podcasts, you're not chatting with somebody, the very good way to practice mindful, being in nature and outdoors. I also feel that we need to practice it back in, all of us the ability to be mindful, we were all those little tiny kids babies that are just naturally mindful and we lost it for the hustle and bustle of life. So, just like any or practice makes perfect, we don't do a breathing practice once or a guided meditation once and I was struck with the whole time. I kept in meditation, this isn't for me. Just like we wouldn't go to the gym and lift weights and expect to look like. Whoever Arnold Schwarzenegger. The next day, we you know we practice and cultivate a practice in our lives. That's important, I think we're true trying different things. Maybe for you it's not movement. Maybe for you it's not nature, maybe it's breath. Maybe it is the daily tasks that you're doing anyway. I'd like to talk about something that you do every day that I know you do because I've seen it on some of your Instagram posts and things but it's a great example of something that takes like, probably 10 seconds or or more, I don't know, probably not very long, and is a perfect mindful practice what you do with your coffee every morning, or your tea, whatever it is that you're drinking I'll let you explain it but that's a prime example of a daily mindful habit that takes a little time.

VL: Yes, you're right, I completely forgot about it. So every morning when I'm making my, it's usually coffee but sometimes the green juice or a tea.

I start in my intention for the day. And it's become a bit of a ritual and I can't remember when I started doing this, it wasn't too long ago I want to say December or January anyway, it was a few months ago, I would say, but it's made a huge difference in my life.

And when I don't do it because sometimes I don't make the coffee right away, or I will, Like, I'll make a green juice sometimes I usually shake that and I don't stir it so it's not as like a slow process, I kind of like shake it quickly and drink it. So when I if I don't do it, I noticed the difference as well. But essentially what I do is I pour the coffee like Nespresso so I dropped the espresso shot and I stir in like a couple little extra things like cinnamon and collagen powder. So as I'm doing that actually stir the coffee counter clockwise, and I do this because I want to let go of, you know whether it was like a bad sleep I had or like a crappy week, anything from yesterday, anything from this morning that threw me off already got over the wrong side of the bed, whatever. So I started that a couple times, until everything's blended in. And then I add my old milk because I like old milk lattes. And once the old milk is in I stir it clockwise, three times and as I stir in Word so clockwise to me is like, when I think about how I want to feel that day, and it's usually just a word, today I wanted to feel centered and steady, so like it was, I have a really busy day I'm on the move today. And I just wanted to make sure that like I really was present because I have a lot of driving and I know that sometimes when I'm scattered in my brain, I'm driving like bad things can happen right so I just wanted that to be my intention for today specifically. And then after I stir that in three times, I make a Pentagon or a star shape in the coffee to kind of feel it, that's my little ritual.

And I always like the spoon. I know that sounds silly, but I always like the spoon and then as I'm drinking the coffee is when I'm reminded of like okay I'm drinking that intention now it's going into my body. This in the coffee you can say like, oh yeah coffee feels feels you the caffeine whatever but it's really the intention that I'm kind of drinking in.

And you're right, it has totally become a mindful practice I think about it all day, and I, if I don't feel that steady or centered. I take a breath, I take a moment to reconnect to the intention that I've set. So, that's, that's the goal. That's the goal should be all of it. 

[29:49] SS: You just made that sound so fantastic and like juicy that I think I’m going to start to.

But that is a beautiful example of something that takes less than a minute, but can be a mindful, start to your day and imagine, even if you know for anyone who's listening out there if you just start with.

Pick something that takes 30 seconds to a minute for the beginning of your day, such as Valerie just described, and something that takes 30 seconds to a minute at the end of your day, perhaps, you know, closing the bathroom door, and breathing while you brush your teeth, even just those tiny little changes will calm you round you and physiologically change your brain.

VL: I love that I love that it's, You know it sounds a little woowoo like I'm stirring a word into my coffee. I'm thinking of the word I'm going to bed with the intention of having a good sleep or whatever it is, but you're right there really is a lot more research, a lot more scientific evidence proving the positive effects of something that is so simple. And the way that I like to look at it is that, you know, it's not that hard to do. It's not it doesn't cost any extra money to try this. It doesn't have any negative side effects, why wouldn't you try it. Why wouldn't you like prove at this point prove us wrong, you know what I mean prove me wrong and tell me it doesn't work.

SS:  Very good point. Very good point. One of the sayings, I like to use is that your biography is your biology. So, by introducing these little practices into your life story, your biography, you're only improving your health improving your, you know, aging potential to the ability to age well to keep the brain active as you age, all, all of that stuff I don't know if you're familiar with the term neuroplasticity.

VL: Yes, I’ve heard of this before. 

SS: So neural plasticity is the idea, and not to age myself but I did my psychology degree. Whoa. A long time ago, probably about 45 years ago now. So, the idea of neural plasticity, really wasn't there when I did my psychology degree this is that knew of science, the idea that the brain constantly changes and grows. It's not like you reach a certain age, which we'll reach we really used to think of a psychology world you reach a certain age and for a while, you can't learn a new language now you can't do this now know that brain is constantly changing and developing at a rate that low scientists mine. And this is why you can rehab people who kind of stroke, this why things like that, so.

Yeah, it's very new science to prove that right into late late adulthood right into senior years, The brain has the ability to form new connections, new fire new neurons, and, and learn new things. So even if you're, you know, 70 years old, listening to this, you can start a mindful practice and affect affect change for your remaining years.

VL: That's excellent. That's an excellent reminder for a lot of people because my grandma is 85 This year I think it's 86 Anyway, she's an old bird. And she always says I'm too old to learn that I'm too old to do that I'm too old and I keep saying no you're not, and she loves reading, but for whatever reason she wasn't able to get like books all the time, like hard hardcopy books. So, or she, I don't know, she has like a book club with her niece. Anyway, that's beside the point. She wasn't able to get all the books that we thought she's going to she's reading so many books so quickly, let's just get her Kindle, where she can just store all these books she's have to pass the books back and forth with her niece who lives like too far away. So let's get her Kindle so when we first got it for her. She's like, Oh my God, no, I can't learn this, this is a, I don't know how to use this machine is she doesn't even have a cell phone or anything right. So we showed her how to use it and we explained that, you know you can have 100 books on this one little tablet, and it's so light and you can travel with it and all these things. And, yeah, she uses it now, and you can't tell me that, You know she, I mean, she definitely had to. She definitely had to learn a couple of years skill they need someone who's never used a tablet or cell phone, you know, things like that smartphone anything like that. So, but she knows how to use it now and she loves it. She's always like, I mean we put the stories on for her, but she can flip the pages and pick the book and, yeah.

[34:36] SS: And what is that hesitation when it's whether it's an 85 year old or a 25 year old that's hesitation on Oh, I can't do that, let's label that what is that, that to me is it's fear. Right. And fear is within all of our brains, we may not only live in fear but it's fear and anxiety. And I think as somebody who suffered from I suffered from terrible anxiety as a person, mindfulness, helped me more than any other method treatment, whatever you want to call that, because it eradicated the fear part for me. And here's how many if there's anybody listening who's had cognitive behavioral therapy for anxiety, which is one of the most common sort of treatments for people who are an anxious or depressed.

And this is not to at all negate that practice or say it has no worth absolutely not different things work for different people. But for me personally what I struggled with was with that was that it's asking you to change yourself.

So it's asking you to say, instead of saying, I'm scared of learning something new. I'm not scared of something new but that felt inauthentic to me because I was still scared.

So or still fearful or anxious or whatever, however you want to label it. The reason why mindfulness is so helpful, is because it. I'm scared of learning something new, but that's okay.

It's okay to feel that way. And it doesn't mean that I can't learn. It doesn't mean that I can't sit with this uncomfortableness and push through and push practice. And that is one of, to me the key reasons why I see mindfulness working for myself and for many of the people that I work with, it's that expression of the feeling, or the thought that isn't functional or the most positive. It's not about always ponies and rainbows and unicorns, I like to say it's about even acknowledging the icky thoughts that we all are being honest.

VL: That is an amazing point 1,000% agree it's, you know, it's being able to say like, it's okay that I'm afraid, and it's okay to take the risk and it's okay to try something new to do something new, and I mean this is a whole other topic in itself in itself about getting out of your comfort zone and, you know, embracing the fear and doing it anyway and whatever it is, is that similar to mindfulness and to weight training, you're building, you're building your muscles you're building your mindfulness muscle you're building your courage muscle you're building your actual physical muscles, because all of these things take practice and as I mentioned before, the more you do it the better you get at it.

So it really starts with deciding or trying and choosing where do you want to start, what's the best place for you is it the tooth brushing is it the storing it into your coffee is it the movement practice.

Yeah, I think you've given a ton of amazing examples today and I know that you teach a lot of this because we could probably talk about this for a whole series of episodes about mindfulness, I mean, I feel like we could talk about each of the pillars in one episode, for sure.

But you teach a lot of this in a few of your offerings so could you share a little bit more about your retreats your programs?

[38:17] SS: Sure, I can run you when Wellness Week them or retreat for, I don't even know probably about five years now, and typically three to for a year like one every season, pretty much, obviously that's been interrupted a little bit by the current situation, but we've got, we've got some coming up. And the purpose of these gatherings, is to bring women together because I believe when women come together it's a powerful thing. I believe we learn from each other we feed off of each other's energy.

It's powerful, it goes back to ancient times, women gathering and circle. And there's a blend of everything, it's a very holistic weekend so there's always yoga and Pilates classes offered. There's always outdoor components, such as hiking, or snowshoeing, there's always healthy food for the weekend, often vegan or vegetarian, I'm not vegan or vegetarian but I do like to eat that way. Sometimes, and I can activate experiments with people to do for the weekend, and all of my retreats differently. We put different presenters at different retreat with everything from card readers, and the retreat I have to 2021, fingers crossed, is really the theme of that retreat is what we were just talking about going outside your comfort zone.

Something that I recently did that was completely out of my comfort zone was. Try the Wim Hof Method. I will admit that I was drawn in by the goop lab episode on Netflix and curious and started with my partner looking up this would be cool to do and sure enough, there were retreats locally that we could go to workshops rather locally that we go to to try this Wim Hof Method. So, the Wim Hof Method has itself, three sort of pillars or ideas behind it, which are one of them is mindful. One of them is to be in the right mindset and to be very mindful in the present moment, and the other two are breathwork and cold exposure. So the part that was out of my comfort zone was the cold exposure fun worshiping Mediterranean girl over here. Who would like to live barefoot in a bikini her whole life.

The idea of cold exposure which in the context of this workshop with getting into an ice bath for two minutes and 30 seconds was terrifying. And even as the day of the workshop approached, I was thinking for all these reasons why I could maybe cancel or not show up. However I did show up, I did go into the ice bath for two minutes and 30 seconds.

The idea of cold exposure which in the context of this workshop we're getting into an ice bath for two minutes and 30 seconds was terrifying. And even on the day of the workshop, approach, I was thinking for all these reasons why I could maybe cancel or not show up. However I did show up, I did go into the ice bath for two minutes and 30 seconds.

The idea of cold exposure which in the context of this workshop we're getting into an ice bath for two minutes and 30 seconds was terrifying. And even on the day of the workshop, approach, I was thinking for all these reasons why I could maybe cancel or not show up. However I did show up, I did go into the ice bath for two minutes and 30 seconds.

VL: WOW! I mean I've tried types of cold therapy before, but by that I mean that crazy walk we did in the freezing cold winter. And then I remember like when we were kids we used to go to our friend's hot tub in the winter and then it was like, Okay, I dare you to go jump out in the snow roll around and come back.

Those kinds of things, but I don't think I would have ever. Well maybe you can convince me to go into an ice bath for two and a half minutes like part of me is very curious and then the other part of me is screaming right away. 

SS: Right and I think once you experience the lead up to it, and the mindset work in the policy breathwork that you're taught, there's almost no doubt in your mind that you're getting in that tub and I asked, Ashley, the facilitator. People must like to get 10 people signed up for a workshop, how many actually get in yet, but never had anyone in the years of doing this, don't get in and I can see that now that I've done it because you're just so pumped up to do it and I guess there's a little bit of the tribe mentality going on there too, that you just do, and it is that ultimate I think going out of your way out of your comfort zone.

Right and I think once you experience the lead up to it, and the mindset work in the policy breathwork that you're taught, there's almost no doubt in your mind that you're getting in that tub and I asked, Ashley, the facilitator. People must like to get 10 people signed up for a workshop, how many actually get in yet, but never had anyone in the years of doing this, don't get in and I can see that now that I've done it because you're just so pumped up to do it and I guess there's a little bit of the tribe mentality going on there too, that you just do, and it is that ultimate I think going out of your way out of your comfort zone.

[43:53] VL: That's so incredible, I would definitely want to try it, because I'm thinking of how I would react in that group mentality and I'm like no I can't be the only one who doesn’t do it.

First, I like, I have to go first I have to go first. I can't watch other people do this. And then, you know, you'll be getting more and more nervous, but just if I'm doing it I'm going for. 

VL:  So amazing. Well, Sarah. This has been so much fun, like I said, I feel like we could do a whole series on this, and I'm sure that you'll be back on the show again soon, but let us know where we can find you today where we can follow you and how we can support your business.

SS:  in addition to the junior retreats, I'm currently offering one on one mindfulness sessions, and also in summer 2021 I will be offering a teen mindfulness program, and information about any of those things can be found on my Instagram, or my websites.

WEBSITE | www.sarahsturino.com

INSTAGRAM | @sssturino 

RAPID FIRE

1. What are you currently reading? OR What’s your favourite book?

Becoming Supernatural by Dr. Joe Dispenza

Future Witches

2. What do you love most about being a woman?

I think if I think back, my son is 17 Almost. What I love most about being a woman was that feeling of growing a human and being so there is never a time when I was more in touch with energy and with how much we are animals right it's such an animal experience to give birth to grow human to have milk. So just that our bodies do that is incredible and miraculous and beautiful and then the fact that we didn't stretch marks laughter and hate is, we need to change the culture needs lippett Like are you proud of those stretch marks grew that 6ft3’ boy!

3. What does “empowerment” mean to you?

I think I would say empowerment means finding your voice, and using it. But I would also say, it means to thrive, not just survive I think that there were some years where I was just surviving and not thriving. And my wish for everyone is that they have very few of those. And more of the Thrive.

4. What are you currently working toward?

Many things probably too many things I feel like I confuse the universe by manifesting too many things at once. So, I will share that I am working towards having my own but that's one of the things that I'm currently manifesting and not just manifesting, but the actively working on

VL: Well, thank you so much for being on the podcast today it was an absolute pleasure to talk to you I mean I love chatting with you but it was great that we could finally record this episode, I think what you're doing in the world and for women and for teens is so incredibly important. I feel like every season every year you come to me with like this new idea and this new project and this new program and I just think oh my god, she can do anything and everything you're like a super woman. So I'm so happy to know you as a friend. I'm so happy to have you as a guest on the show so excited to share your voice, your story or your resources, your expertise with the audience today, and hopefully again soon. Thank you.

SS: Thank you, Valerie, thank you for giving me space for my voice, and for LASIK women you do that on your podcast is truly needed and truly a pleasure to listen to. Thank you so much for having me as a guest.

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E127: 6 Procrastination Stuck-Spots and How to Overcome Them

Overcome your most common stuck-spots when it comes to procrastination…

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[2:25] Grade 5 speech, opening line:

“P-R-O-C-R-A-S-T-I-N-A-T-I-O-N. Procrastination is a very long word, and some of you may not know what it means…”

Procrastination is more than avoiding or delaying, and it’s not laziness. When we procrastinate we are actively choosing to do something else. We’re taking action, just not on the task we are meant to be acting on. Which means there is a deeper issue at hand that we need to consider as to WHY we might be procrastinating.

When you find yourself procrastinating, evaluate your work/study habits. Chances are, they’re going to fall into 1 (or more) of these 6 stuck-spots!

Start by asking yourself these questions:

1. Is there a certain thing I always put off last?

2. What is it?

3. What are my thought patterns around it?

Investigating why we do things is important for breaking our unhelpful habits and patterns, we have to figure out why we’re doing them in the first place. And when we know why, we will be able to create a strategy to overcome it!

Let’s investigate further and look into where we get stuck when it comes to procrastination...

[5:57] 1. VALUE

Does the task lack value?

I recently had a conversation with a friend and business owner who was feeling down about her current ideas and strategy for her business. As she was explaining her situation she started talking about the intention behind her brand and her business, and suddenly everything changed. She lit up with excitement about her business and became so passionate about the intention and why behind her business. She remembered why she started it and recognized that the current work she was doing needed the passion and clarity she began the company with. This rejuvenated inspiration led her into creation mode where she took inspired action and felt that her ideas were valuable again.

This situation can be true for many of us. For some, we will reconnect to the value and importance of the project, and for others we will need to change our strategy and pivot.

[7:08] 2. TIMING

Is there an issue with timing?

Most people are more productive during certain times of the day, and knowing when we work best, is really important when it comes to managing our time and time blocking. Don’t schedule your work when you’re tired.

If you aren’t sure where your time is being spent, or when you work best, I recommend tracking our week. To do this you will need a pen and paper, or a notebook and you’re literally going to write down everything you do in a week; day-by-day, and how much time you spend doing that task. From when you wake up, to when you go to bed.

This method is incredibly eye-opening and will reveal MANY things about yourself, including some of our worst habits, and also when we tend to be most productive. Do this every day for a whole week and re-evaluate when you time-block certain tasks and how much time you give them.

[8:33] 3. OVERWHELMED

Do you get overwhelmed by big tasks?

Aim to chunk things down into smaller, more manageable tasks to be more efficient and less stressed. 

I can’t tell you how much time I’ve spent stressing about a massive to-do list, when I could have easily used that energy to take action and start crossing things off the list. Now what I do is make a master to do list, and go into detail breaking down the bigger tasks into smaller chunks. And by smaller chunks, I mean get as small as you need to so that you can start making headway on the work that needs to be done. 

As an example: The to do list no longer reads “workout” you can now say 

Workout

• Put on workout clothes

• Put on deodorant

• Put on running shoes

• Pick a sweet playlist for the workout

• Exercises: 30 minute circuit video with exhale pilates

[11:01] 4. DELAYED GRATIFICATION

This can be similar to stuck-spot number one. We might struggle with thinking the project is important or rewarding unless it’s being done right before the deadline - like me with this podcast episode being produced the night before - YIKES!

We go through our day to day tasks and to do lists and only see the slow progress being made, and the reward or gratification isn’t until the very end of a big project. This is why we’ll leave things just before the deadline to feel a sense of completion and gratification. 

To overcome this stuck spot, find ways to reward yourself along the way of a project. Like when we break our goals down to smaller chunks, reward the end of day, or end of week, for those larger projects.

Kat Gaskin, founder and creator of The Content Planner, created a section in the content planner where at the end of each week you write down your wins; big or small! The reward can be recognition for moving the needle closer to your goal, it can be a celebratory experience or gift, whatever helps YOU stay motivated and on track.

[12:24] 5. LACK OF FOCUS/EASILY DISTRACTED

When it comes to productivity, one of the biggest struggles my audience had was lack of focus, and getting easily distracted. 

Overcoming this starts with optimizing our space and eliminating/minimizing our distractions. Task switching or multi-tasking is not only a HUGE productivity fail (we go deeper into productivity in Episode 125: Powerful Productivity Practices), but it also makes you feel like you’re not getting anything done because everything is half finished and we are in this never ending cycle that keeps us busy and inundated with work.

Which is why I always recommend focusing on one task at a time, and creating impactful transitions between tasks. Like a breathing practice, a walk in nature, getting up and drinking a glass of water, etc.

[13:46] 6. HITTING A WALL 

As a business owner, a multi-passionate entrepreneur, and healthy habits coach, I will tell you straight up that I have days when it feels impossible to finish tasks. Sometimes I think I am the queen of procrastination. And because I am someone who is productive and energetic more often than not, I can easily fall into the negative self talk of “not good enough” and lack self-worth. 

Here’s how to get unstuck: rephrase the internal dialogue. Forgive and give yourself permission to take breaks, cut losses, and shower yourself in love and self care. I took a walk this morning to clear my head and move my body and I didn’t feel guilty for it. 

I enjoyed Il Dolce Far Niente, the art of doing nothing (italian). And honestly, I made up for lost time you could say because after a refresh and restart I was able to get the project and tasks completed in less time because of how much more open and recharged I was.

Now I know I said that there were six procrastination stuck spots, however there could be one more. And this might be a deeper struggle. Perhaps it’s a symptom of something more serious. If this feels like you, don’t hesitate to reach out to a professional and ask for help for managing the significant distress at a deeper level.

Thank you so much for listening to this episode of the women’s empowerment show, if you thought of a friend who might love this topic, please share it with them. Let’s continue the conversation over on instagram @vallavignelife

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E126: Living in Alignment with Core Values with Jana Mutch

From understanding what your core values feel like in your body, to making better decisions, better habits, and manifesting the life your soul is craving, we’re covering it all in this in-depth episode of how you can start living in alignment with your core values today…

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[1:10] Valerie LaVigne: Welcome to another special guests episode of the Women's Empowerment Podcast. Today I'm speaking with intuitive guide, Jana. Jana ditched her comfy senior like leadership role of a fast paced tech company to start living out her soul's purpose. Her goal is to help strong wild women to feel empowered to return to their authentic selves so that they can live the life, their soul, is creating. Oh my goodness, I feel like so connected a call to this.

Like I know, I read it and I'm thinking, I need to know more, like, I want to know more, I need to know more, can you tell us a little bit more about how you do the things that you do and what is an intuitive guide. 

[1:58] Jana Mutch: Yeah, well I guess my, my journey, sort of, officially started when I was still at my corporate job. You know I think everyone is born with some intuition and you connect with it, you know in varying degrees from the time that you're, You know, just first coming earthside, you know, and I was very connected when I was a kid but then go up, you learn, like maybe it's a bit weird, or you don't want to be connecting with your intuition in this way or you know you're just sort of learn to shut it down through conditioning through your own, you know, sort of confidence or your own sort of like insecurities. So, I have done that. I've definitely done that over the years of working in a corporate job that I was starting to not love, you know, being in an environment where I'm working in the tech industry and it's super fast paced, there's like hyper growth, hyper growth like I started at this company when we were 12 and within about a year and a half, we had grown to 60 employees. I had been, you know, running a project of building out a 10,000 square foot office on top of my full time job on top of another like part time job, You know, and just the more I was not company, the more I was like this doesn't feel good for me anymore. I'm like really reactive I don't feel like myself, I just feel like I'm on autopilot.

You know I was just going through the motions every day. And one of my really good friends had said to me, you know, I met this is healer this energy healer and I think you would really like her, you should have an appointment with her. And I was like, I don't really know what that even means. But I trust you so I'm just gonna do it. So I booked a session with an energy healer. And it was exactly what I didn't know I needed, and we got through working with her I did a couple sessions with her and she had said to me, I think you're actually meant to be doing this work. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, I'm like, I'm meant to be climbing the corporate ladder, I'm meant to be, you know, the boss, I'm meant to be making a difference in these big companies, it's just like an extra sure that you're meant to do energy work. And she started training me, connecting back to my intuition.

And, you know, just sort of, she was my mentor, still to this day as my mentor and a very good friend, but she was really, you know, sort of the catalyst and into this world. And then through working with her like I started really working with energy, feeling people's energy. And, you know, Just moving in. Moving on any blockages that was depleted like putting energy back in their body, or just getting everyone feeling back selves and balanced.

And the more I started doing that, the more my intuition started opening up, And the more other gifts started opening up.

You know I was, I was doing all of this work alongside working, you know in this corporate role, and starting to feel so much more disconnected from, you know this full time job, to the point where I was like okay I need to get out and I know now that I am meant to be doing. You know this intuitive work this energy work this healing work.

You know, so eventually I separated from my job in the tech world, and my full time to do in energy QA and intuitive work, and through doing that work more and more. My guests have been more and more, and I found, you know that I was really good at sort of feeling into people's bodies, and feeling their energy, and then from that feeling deciphering what it meant, like, what is the thing that's going on in their life that's causing this feeling in their body. And how do we work through that.

You know, so it's a mix of traditional energy healing like Reiki. Also with, you know, some intuitive guidance so I just received the messages.This is, this is the thing that's really going to help you, you know, this is the, this is an exercise that's going to help you, this is the, you know, sort of, the tool that you can start putting into place to help you move through this block, or move through this period of your life, move through this thing that is just making you feel like you're spinning your wheels and going nowhere.

So that's, you know, short story long, that is me and that is intuitive guide guidance and that is energy work.

[7:39] VL: I love all of this, and we talk about it a little bit on the show but we've been starting to incorporate it more and more that intuition, you know, really connecting with what feels good for you living a more intentional, all of this, and we talked about it a little bit on the show but we've been starting to incorporate it more than more than intuition, really connecting with what feels good for you living a more intentional and aligned life.

What I'd love to start with is, how can we figure out that feeling of like yes what I'm doing right now is right for me or it's not right for me. You said that when you were in your corporate job, you started to get this sense that, Okay wait, maybe this isn't for me or maybe this isn't in my alignment or my wheelhouse, like how do we how do we know, how do we know.

[8:28] JM: Yeah, so there was, there was a couple of really big, sort of like alarm bells or warning signs for me and at first it started up more subtle as, you know signs from the universe or, you know your Self, your soul speaking to always do, they start off a little more subtle. And, you know, if you keep ignoring it, it's gonna get all of a sudden it's just like, Alright we are going to do something major to get your attention. So for me it started out with, you know, even I used to hop out of bed in the morning and be so excited to go, you know, make a difference at this company.

Yeah, so there was, there was a couple of really big, sort of like alarm bells or warning signs for me and at first it started up more subtle as, you know signs from the universe or, you know your Self, your soul speaking to always do, they start off a little more subtle. And, you know, if you keep ignoring it, it's gonna get all of a sudden it's just like, Alright we are going to do something major to get your attention. So for me it started out with, you know, even I used to hop out of bed in the morning and be so excited to go, you know, make a difference at this company.

I learned started to be the way I would react to people, you know, working and my job was in operations so working in operations here, like the fixer and the, you know, the sort of one that puts out the fires and you're the one that keeps the business operating smoothly, you know you're like that duck on the pond where it looks all calm and underneath the surface, your legs are just kicking away but no one sees what's going on under the surface, but you know people would come and ask me for, you know, something that would make their job easier or, You know, can you, can you fix this area of the business and I started getting reactive to it. I started feeling this real.

And now I know what it is but at the time, I was feeling this real, like, almost sort of fire in my solar plexus so that area sort of right where your ribs meet up. And that was this feeling of someone else is controlling my time, someone else is, you know, making these decisions for what my day looks like and I was starting to really struggle with that because one of my core values is freedom. And so this felt like it was really really like crossing boundaries, stepping into one of my core values. That was not feeling good and I would react I would be, you know, very much whether I would say it out loud or not is a different story but I didn't feel it in my body, I would feel that reaction, my solar plexus and just be like, Oh, I don't want this.

You know another sign was showing up at the office.

I would park my car and I would go walk to the front door, and I could feel.

I could almost feel my body, my energy shrink it, like I just felt, you know you can feel it if you're, if you're having a conversation with your friend and you're talking about something that you're really passionate about you sit up taller, your shoulders are back, you're more open, we are more expressive versus like walking into this office, I would, atomic get from my car to the front door, you know my shoulders were almost like rolled forward.

I felt a little bit tired, I just felt myself getting small. And by the time I would walk up the stairs to my desk, I was like, Oh, I just feel like this, shrunken version of myself.

That doesn't feel good when you're sitting in that for a time. And you know when I would compare that to going and doing my, my practice, energy healing and energy work and, like, intuitive guidance when I was still, you know, like, doing sort of my training with my mentor. I feel so different I feel so alive, I could be so tired from my day when I get there and all of a sudden, my shoulders are back, my hearts open my, you know the energy in my voice is different because I'm excited and I was like, Yes, this is, this is lighting out, and I feel so free and I feel like, you know, my energy, my, my body my being just feels so much bigger than I actually am physically.

So, those were sort of the real tells for me.

[12:58] VL: Yeah, it was what I found interesting was that you used to be really inspired by and excited for your job and then over time that started to change. And I think the other key piece to part of your journey is that, you know you've, you have there was something else that was trying to lighten you up. And it was almost like a moment or the person that you need to meet, to show you that actually you can feel better in your body you can be excited about something again and you can feel more connected to freedom and your other core values, we talked about core values actually quite a few episodes in the, In the show, and I love how each guest brought up core values has a different meaning. So, if we could just kind of briefly into what core values are and maybe how we can connect to that.

[13:58] JM: Yeah, I have done, as I'm sure many of you have done quizzes done so many, like, you know, test score activities to find out what your core values are. I've pulled, family and friends that know me really well. You know I did an exercise in brown workshop where we had to sit with a stranger, and tell a story that felt like it really summed us up and that stranger than pits your values out of the story, and, you know, Of all the times I've gotten as my values are, like, you know even strangers are picking out my values, you know exactly how I would describe them. So for me, you know like how do I get to the core values like what's really important to me, what's a non negotiable. What is something that, you know, it's almost like this, guiding light for how you make your decisions. You know I said earlier that one of my, one of my core values is freedom. And, you know for me freedom is, you know, being able to be the one in charge of my calendar, you know, I get to decide what I do with my days what I do with my time freedom also has, you know, for me it has to do with being able to go on adventures, which is also one of my core values So freedom is like having that time and having that space to go on adventures.

You know, so if I'm ever. If I was ever to go back working for someone. this, you know like looking at holidays like what's the vacation schedule like, Okay, you say I get two weeks. Can we negotiate on that or can I take some time unpaid, and I'm okay taking it unpaid because I need to know that I have freedom I have that extra space to go do the things that make me feel lit up.

You know, another one for me like I said is adventure and adventure is, you know, it's traveling for me mostly and I know you and I've talked about that in other conversations, and I love to Guatemala, and, you know, that adventure I think I would guess that adventure is one for you also.

And, you know, I think just really, a really good way to do your values is just to sort of think about think about the things that you couldn't live without, like, think about the things that you spend a lot of your time doing or that you could do, and almost like not even realize that you've spent an entire day doing it or think of, you know, sort of the the people that you're drawn to what do they have in common. And, you know, for, for me, having those in place is such, like, it just helps you make so many more decisions right like does this play into what makes me feel good. What I know like, you know, so I think that's, that's probably the best place to start when we're talking about, you know, living in alignment, how do you find your alignment. Start with your start with your values first start with the things that are most important to know there's tons of books or even websites where you can get a list of words to sort of spark creativity.

But then, I would encourage you to question a little bit further, and from that word.

Write your own definition. What does that word mean to you, because you know something that, you know like, if you and I both share connection as a value connection is going to play out in my life, probably different than how it plays out in your life. So I think having that word and then also defining what that word means for you is just, you know that next step, that just makes the decision making process, or you know just answering that question, is this in alignment with the way I want to live my life. It just makes it so much easier.

[18:19] VL: So many great points. Definitely freedom and adventure, are part of my core values 100% Adventure definitely knowing your core values is helping you make decisions.

I mean there's so many things that last part about defining what the word means for you I think that is a really important piece for everybody because exactly like you and I could have very similar core values and they need to make us feel like we're very similar in a lot of ways, but let's circle back to making decisions off of our core values like how, how do we know that we're making the right decision, how do we, how we go abou that?

[19:06] JM: Yeah so I think, you know once you've defined your core values, have them written down somewhere to have them, have them in a notebook, have them somewhere that you can reflect back on them because you just might forget them or it's not, you know, front of mind when you're making a decision, so it's always good to just have, you know, whether it's sticking out, whether it's in a notebook whether notes on your phone, whatever that looks like for you. So, knowing your values.

And then, you know, sort of having that in your mind, and then I like this is this is my favorite way to make a decision and like seeing if it's in alignment or not, is, you know, sort of connecting with your breath. Take a few deep breaths, really sort of get balanced.

Get clear get grounded, you know, just really sort of get in touch with your body.

And then, you know, say to yourself, like let's use the example of another job. So you get this job offer, and you're like, oh my gosh, this was more money than I ever thought I would make.

But, you know like that might feel really expensive, you may be like oh my gosh this is amazing. That was so good I never thought I would like reach this sort of like financial goal or like a goal that's so much better than I ever thought.

You're expected to be available in the evenings to answer emails or you're expected to be available to your team, you know, through text message or, you know, even phone calls or something on the weekends. So, how does that feel if your value is freedom. That doesn't feel very free, and you can probably feel your body start, start to get a little bit small start to shrink because you're like, oh, okay, so it's more money, which, you know, pay for more adventure or it's like, you know, freedom of time I can pay for like house cleaners or meal service. Oh but then on the other hand, my time isn't my time anymore, I have to be available 24 seven. That feels really, you know, that feels really constricting.

You'll feel it in your body. And so we can even do out with, you know, just take a breath right now and sort of tune into your body, and then you can do it with all sorts of words like if I say the word creative.

How does that feel in your body?

[22:15] VL: I've been doing a lot of work with this recently, creative feels so good on my body to this point where I like, I want to open up, and I might almost leaning closer into this, like, into the Word.

[22:29] JM: And then if I was to say something like, it's time to do all your taxes. It might just feel a bit flat right.

[22:41] VL: Yeah, I actually think I'm a weirdo sometimes.I don't mind so I don't actually do my own taxes, I prepare the information to have someone do my taxes, wonderful, but I, I kind of like looking at the analytics of the year. It's not my favorite thing to do, but I only do it like either once a month or, at the end of the year I kind of wrap it all up. I think if you said desk job my whole body would just close up.

[22:23] JM: Yeah, that's a really good example. You know and so for anyone listening like just say that to yourself desk job, and, you know, for some people, they might be like, Oh my gosh, you know that, that just sounds like the worst thing imaginable and for other people, they're like you know, I couldn't like working at a desk I like looking at a computer I like being in an office I like the interaction I have with people. So, you know, there's no, there's no wrong answer, it's whatever answer. Feels good, or feels, you know like expensive. Or what if it feels constricted. And so that's, that's the sort of feeling you want to get in tune with, and you can use that to make decisions for anything, like, you know, if you're, if you're just in a bit of a funnel for a couple hours during the day, you can even say, you know, maybe I just need a nap.

And you're all of a sudden, like, oh you know what that feels so supportive for me right now I could just feel like my entire body relaxed, it feels like all of this pressure on myself, has, has just released, you know, versus maybe you're, you're in a bit of that fun. Can you say like, Oh, I'm just gonna check off my to do list.

Maybe feels good to you. Maybe you're like no that feels really, it doesn't feel supportive helpful it doesn't feel like that's what I need right now so even just asking yourself those questions, and how does your body feel.

And then, whether that is like you, Valerie like being this multi passionate entrepreneur and you wear a ton of hats you know like that might feel really good for you and I'm sure that's why you're doing it because it does feel good for you but for other people, you know, they might be like oh my gosh, I don't know how. I don't know how she can do all these things because for me that feels very like, you know, it just feels like too much so you know it's that it's that really just connecting to your body and what feels good for you, and then start taking action on that and start, like, trusting what your body what your soul is telling you, and it makes it, you know like doing doing that practice makes it so much easier to, to trust what your body is telling you, you know, it makes it so much easier to trust. You know for me, walking away from this like super comfy job, but didn't feel good. I was like, I know that there's something so much better over here for me because, you know I've proved to myself I've proved my ego. You know I've proved that by following what feels good for my body that ends up being good for my life, or, you know, for this life that I want to live overall so get into the practice and start small and almost train your ego to be like, okay, it might be scary, but I know that it always turns out for the best when we, when we trust her intuition when we trust our soul and we trust our body.

[27:25] VL: so much value and I like in everything that you're saying, I love how you keep reminding us that it really is a practice it's a practice to get to know ourselves it's a practice to ask the questions that are more supportive and more helpful it's a practice to take the steps to live closer to that aligned space, and a lot of times that can be really scary, because, you know, your, your, your life before air quotes before what you're doing now. It's not a bad thing. When you weren't hurting yourself or other people but at the same time like it wasn't as fulfilling as it could be. Right, well that's what it sounds like from like exactly what you're sharing Exactly.

And, and you probably teach this, or you've heard this before but when, when it comes to like manifesting and drawing who's into your life and attracting things. It's always like this or something better, yeah right where it's like, I wish to bring this into my life or something better. And I think we forget that sometimes I think we forget because we're, we are living so much in a very kind of short sighted space, and we don't realize that like, hey, something better does exist, and it's as simple as asking ourselves these daily questions and having this daily practice of getting in touch, more and more of itself. and it's not easy work all the time, like I said, like you said that those steps to go into alignment. Those are, those can be big leaps sometimes to quit jobs to be relationships to, you know, go out on a limb and buy the ticket to Guatemala, even though you have no idea what you're doing.

[29:17] JM: Yeah, yeah, it totally is. And, you know like with with that job that I was at, I manifested that, like, to, to the tee, like I had in my mind what my office would look like. And it did look like that I had in my mind what my boss would be like, and that was that and, you know, I, I completely manifested that job, and for a time it was brilliant. It was exactly what I needed, it can be really scary to be like, I'm in this, this role that I, I created it with the universe like I made this happen I manifested it, but now it doesn't feel good anymore. And, and so it is. It is scary. It is scary to like take that late being like, this is what I wanted so bad and I made it happen.

it can be really scary to be like, I'm in this, this role that I, I created it with the universe like I made this happen I manifested it, but now it doesn't feel good anymore. And, and so it is. It is scary. It is scary to like take that late being like, this is what I wanted so bad and I made it happen.

And I, you know, like I said the office was exactly how it was in my mind and I can do the gun. I can take that I can do the gun. I can take that lead and I can do it again. But it takes trust and it takes practice, and I think, I think, you know the reason why it is such a practice is because you have to.

You almost have to learn to start trusting the signs because you don't, you know like if you're, if you're creating this big life for yourself if you're trying to manifest something you don't really get to have the roadmap in front of you right now, like you get to know you don't get to see like, point A through two points.

You might see like a B and maybe C, and you need to just trust that like, once you get to C point D is gonna start showing up.

So, You know this is just all these little practices just taking these little baby steps, and, you know, making it a habit, making it a habit to like, trust yourself and to, to check in with yourself and ask these questions. Just, you know, it makes me so happy faster and it makes it easier and you know I always say that, you go from taking little baby steps, and then all of a sudden the Baby Steps turn into life, you know, maybe a bigger stuff, and then they turn into a week, and then they turn it into just like a jump off the cliff.

[31:33] VL: Yeah… Absolutely. The journey and then exactly what you said, like you see points A, B and C, and maybe D and then. But as you go, these, these new opportunities in ways reveal themselves to you, and I think it kind of goes back to what you said about like how you're a different person after leaving that corporate job because you, you couldn't have been, I don't know.

This is just like my speculation slash what I'm picking up. Here are your journey and your story is that I don't know if you would have been courageous enough to take that leap away from what you manifested, without doing the work to get you to that point first, it was almost like you needed to show your ego like yeah we can do this like I did this, I know what I'm doing, to be able to do that. So let's, let's talk about that trust more How are the ways we can build trust with ourselves, and trust our intuition more. How do we make that a habit?

[32:32] JM: Yeah, I definitely think, you know, there's, there's a ton of tools I could, I could tell you like 20 different ways to do it but I think you need to sort of pick what resonates for you.

And I do think one of the easiest ways to start is just like when you wake up in the morning, you know before you check your phone before you get into bed before you do anything, you know, just sort of check in and be like, what is it that I need today, what do I need to feel supported, or, you know, you can even ask like, you know, what is it that I need to know today, and just trust whatever answer pops into your head. And, you know, you might not be ready to take action on it. If this is brand new to you, but you might be like, okay, okay, so this is what I need to do today or this is what my intuition is telling me to do today.

And, you know like slowly you'll be like okay I kind of keep getting the same answer. So maybe I should take some action on that, you know, like it's just having, it's about opening up this conversation with your intuition, with your higher self, with the universe, you know, whatever, whatever sort of name you want to give it.

I think another really fun practice, you know, especially if you're learning to like trust. The signs and trust, you know, everything that's being put in front of you and like I said it'll start off quiet until it gets like, you know, super obvious like flashing lights in your face. But, you know, you could say, okay, universe. I, I want to start manifesting this, but I don't really trust I don't really know how this works. So, you know, I just want you to show me a sign. And that's fine could be, you know, show me a rhinoceros.

And, you know, pick whatever you want, pick something that's not, you know, felt like, that's not something you see every single day in your life that you know like, if I go outside in Vancouver, I'm going to see a crow, because I see a crow every single day, no matter which door, I have my apartment I leave no matter what time of day I leave, there's always a crow so probably not a good example, but a rhinoceros, not seeing one of those walking down the street in Vancouver, and you might be like, never gonna see rhinoceros, but then you turn on the TV, and there's a rhinoceros on the TV, or you overhear a conversation with some kids talking about rhinoceros, or it's on, you know the cover of an album that you're listening to, You know, so it's, it might be a really subtle sign, it might be something that's not super noticeable, but it's about, you know, like asking for that sign and then being open to you know like opening your awareness being like open to look around and notice the signs.

Having fun with it too, like it doesn't need to be so serious, have some fun with it and open up a conversation with your higher self.

Ask for what it is that you want. Ask for what it is that you need to know.

You know, trust, trust the first thing that pops into your head and go with it and take action on it and see how it feels. And, you know, then let's do that tomorrow and the day after that, the day after that. And, you know like signs are going to come in a much more obvious way much more open to receiving.

You know you're going to your intuition is going to talk to you louder. Like right now, you could be like, you know this, just popped into my head it was like a whisper, like how do I know if that's even what it is, you take action on it or you acknowledge it.

And then, you know, eventually that voice, you know, starts to wake up and it's like, oh you're starting to listen to me now we're starting to talk, okay I'm going to talk louder, I'm going to talk in a way that like so much easier for you to hear it's almost like you're giving your intuition, some like confidence to speak up and to talk louder.

[37:03] VL: I love it so much. It's funny because there's so much. It's funny because I totally forgot about this exercise but I do it all the time. I ordered this book, Online once, and it came in this tea. It was this like smaller than my palm of my hand, and it's an abundance book and I cannot remember for the life of me, but when I do remember I'll put it in the show notes page for this episode, but it has these little, these little experiments that they teach you how to do for manifesting.

For me they teach you how to do for manifesting. And the first one is attracting a green car into your life and you need to see a green card, and the other one is, I think, a yellow butterfly. So, I don't remember what month that was when I read this but I remember I was with my partner at the time and I said let's do this let's, let's do this together and let's see what we can attract, and he wasn't open to all of this as I am.

No problem. However, the next day I was like, I saw two queen cars, two of them, which was amazing. I don't have a green car so this is like a not this is not very common for me. And he said, Oh, I didn't see anything. So I was like okay cool, cool, cool, but he said I also wasn't really paying attention like I wasn't really looking for it, but because we had started this experiment, I started noticing the colors of the cars that I was driving around. And to this day, this was years ago. To this day, I see a green car almost 100% of the time that I drive. And I've actually attached, the green car symbol, or Omen, as a symbol and reminder for me, that abundance is always around me, and it's like always accessible, so sometimes I'll see like a bright green car and it's like a big truck and I know that this is like a sign that there's a lot of abundance in my life or a lot of abundance is coming. And sometimes I'll see like, it's green, but it's kind of a blue color but I'm like, it's kind of green like it's, it's an odd color for a car but I see it as green. And so that to me shows me that like abundance comes to me in different ways that I'm not expecting. And then there's a car that's typically parked outside, one of the houses on the way to my parents house so if I take that route. I often see the car, I don't always see the car but it often to the car. And so when I see that car, I'm reminded that there are places that I can always go to that have abundance in them so like, like for myself I teach Pilates.

And I also do my online mentorship and coaching, and I know that I'll never be out of a job. I know this because I've always done my own thing, I have not had that journey of living in the corporate world, I've done a few like desk jobs, if you will, however, it was all like yoga, Pilates my own business has always been a part of my life. And so I know that like, I know how to, how to bring abundance into my life, I know how to make money by myself and I don't typically I don't need anything else I just know like, yeah you know what I mean. In these areas, so it's, it's really cool and I feel like the more excited you get and the more gratitude you feel for when you get outside, you're like, I got this. Thank you. I saw the green car yeah thank you I saw the I saw the rhino, and it's not always a moving car sometimes it's a picture or sometimes it's like a meme online that we see and it's just like oh my god that's a rhino, and it's amazing how many green cars I see now like It's almost scary or annoying, but I always acknowledged as so when I'm driving, no matter what's happening of our lifestyle to go to an amazing song. I see a green card or my green car every day. 

[39:58] JM: You know, like, add on to that, to this to this exercise is giving gratitude and being like, thanks to universe. I see you, I see what's going on.

And I really love that you have now attached a meaning to it, and, you know, I do that a lot with people, you know like people that I've lost, and I lost an uncle.

I guess two years ago and we were really close and you know he was a part of my, my life for a long time and you know like we spent a lot of time with him and his kids and you know here's someone very important to me very close to me, and the sign for him is an El Camino, which is you know like one of those car, truck, things.

You know, if I'm out and out and about walking around or driving or sleeping in my house if I start thinking about like I wonder how my uncle Dawn is literally in El Camino, but like, drive by for someone on TV is driving one, and it's always my uncle dawn. Miss you, you know like just acknowledging that because you can, you know like, like you're saying what the car, the green car for you as a sign of abundance. So you've now attached, meaning to that and so every time you see that car. But the universe or, you know, source or your higher self, communicating with you and being like, hey, just remember, like, so much abundance for you, or you know I love that you even have like different shades of green or there's like a spectrum of abundance for you. So that's something that you can totally do like it's a fun practice that you make your own and you make it something that is super meaningful for you and it doesn't have to make sense for anyone else. And it doesn't have to be the science that they receive. You know, because it's, it's personal, it's, it's your, you know it's like your secret language with the universe.

[43:25] VL: That’s really fun.I love that. Yeah, I know what and when you're, I will admit when you're first starting out I just remember reading like so many personal development books and they all say, is so they all say the same things which is because this is what works, and almost every single one of them will say just do the weird, wacky kooky stuff that your intuitive guy tells you to do, or like your coach tells you to do.

I think it's really important to as you're learning how to trust yourself more. It's keeping like what we've been talking about this whole time like keep coming back to your core values and being in alignment, because that's how you start to.

That's how you start to interpret or understand the signs that you're saying, better. Like for me, the green car thing was just green car in the beginning, and then it started to be, oh well this is a very vibrant car, or this is a huge green truck. And then I started incorporating it myself. As these different meanings so yeah it's really, it's really powerful and it's really it's actually really fun when you start to get into it and I feel like the connection, the core values to come back to them every day, every day I like that and I like that you said that kind of intention of the day, like how do I want to do I need to meet, to bring me into this space and there's asking those questions, not just living this automatic life but really becoming like more aware, more intentional and not taking mediocre as, like, your answer like it's not fulfillment at that point.

[45:00] JM: If we can just, we could go down an entire other path with this conversation. So I'll stop but yeah I really love what you said.

[45:10] VL:Everything you said is so important and it's such a great reminder for people who have practice things like this before it's also kind of a very broad introduction to it all. And I can imagine people having additional questions. So where can we find you. Where can we follow you. How can we support your business and also support our own intuitive journey?

IG | @moonrise_soul

Website | moonrisesoul.com

Rapid Fire Round

1. What are you currently reading? Or What is your favourite book?

JM: My favorite book is The Alchemist. I was given that for my birthday one year and I read it on a flight to perhaps Nicaragua, and I read it before, like I'd finished the book before the plane even took off from Vancouver, it was, I couldn't get enough of it and I read it 100 times. 

So I'm reading that I'm also reading a really interesting psychology book about Donald Trump, written by one of his nieces. So it's a bit off brand for me, but it's incredibly fascinating because I love, love psychology and all of the like all of the ways our upbringing shapes who we are. So yeah those are my, my favorite read of my current read.

2. What do you love most about being a woman?

JM: Oh my gosh, okay. What I love most. the connection that you know that women have with other women, I think, as kids you know you're as girls, you're really encouraged to, you know, sort of build this, this really tight bond with your girlfriends and this, you know, community and I have such an amazing group of women in my life, and they are all you know one of my friends, her dad says to us all the time like, oh my gosh, all of you together could run the world, and you know it's it's true and we're all in the same room together like it's a force, it's super supportive, they are you know the people that you can go to for advice for support for, you know, fun, if you just need to have a cry. You know, it's, it's almost expected as women and I think men don't necessarily have that as much and that always makes me feel a little bit sad for them because, you know, there's nothing like being surrounded by your closest girlfriends and just, you can leave an interaction like that just having your heart, exploding with goodness.

3. What does empowerment mean to you?

JM: yeah that's that's something that I did on in my business and you know just life in general, you know, with all the little women in my life I have a lot of nieces and a stepdaughter and I want to teach them, you know, for me it's about like, what skills do I have, what, what am I really good at what are the things that I do, sort of naturally or easily. And, you know, how can I teach others to do that for themselves, and you know when it comes to all the little women in my life. It's very much like how do, how do I help teach you to have a voice to, you know, make your own decisions and to think for yourself and you know to be a bit of a rebel.

You know, I think, you know, like I said in the question right before that it's about the connection with girlfriends like, it's important to have that support for sure but I think it's really important that you can get through life without a lot of hand holding like you need the support and you need people to help build you up. But for me, empowerment is about, you know, sort of equipping yourself with the skills to be able to you know to forge your own path and you know sort of guide other people and share. Share your knowledge, your wisdom on too.

4. What are you currently working toward?

JM: You know, I think, you know, like I said in the question right before that it's about the connection with girlfriends like, it's important to have that support for sure but I think it's really important that you can get through life without a lot of hand holding like you need the support and you need people to help build you up. But for me, empowerment is about, you know, sort of equipping yourself with the skills to be able to you know to forge your own path and you know sort of guide other people and share. Share your knowledge, your wisdom on to. 

You know, I think, you know, like I said in the question right before that it's about the connection with girlfriends like, it's important to have that support for sure but I think it's really important that you can get through life without a lot of hand holding like you need the support and you need people to help build you up. But for me, empowerment is about, you know, sort of equipping yourself with the skills to be able to you know to forge your own path and you know sort of guide other people and share. Share your knowledge, your wisdom on to. 

You know, I think, you know, like I said in the question right before that it's about the connection with girlfriends like, it's important to have that support for sure but I think it's really important that you can get through life without a lot of hand holding like you need the support and you need people to help build you up. But for me, empowerment is about, you know, sort of equipping yourself with the skills to be able to you know to forge your own path and you know sort of guide other people and share. Share your knowledge, your wisdom on to. 

Book: Women Who Run with Wolves

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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Download the FREE Dream Lifestyle Roadmap

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E125: Powerful Productivity Practices

Get sh*t done fast and more efficiently with these powerful practices you can start implementing right away.

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[2:20] Struggle One: Time Management

Time blocking: What gets scheduled is what gets done. Make the time in your calendar to do the work, and avoid rescheduling.

Have a specific action plan: When you get to your desk, know exactly what needs to be done. Write a check-list or plan in advance so you can easily get in the zone and stay focused.

[6:00] Struggle Two: Distractions

Focusing for Long Periods of Time, and Staying Focused on the Task at Hand

Eliminate distractions: Turn off your phone, or leave it in another room. Close down your email inbox, silence incoming calls. Let the people in your space know that you need uninterrupted time. 

[8:50] Multitasking and Keeping it all Straight

STOP MULTITASKING: Studies have shown that multitasking reduces your productivity by 40%. Stick with your action plan and tackle each task, one at a time to avoid unnecessary task switching and backtracking.

Keep a notepad close by: When new ideas or distracting thoughts pop up, write them down so you can come back to later.

Importance of Transitions

[14:35] Organizing My To Do List

E115: Mastering Your To Do List

E121: How to Ask Powerful Yes or No Questions to Connect with Your Intuition

[17:00] Prioritizing Self-Care

Rest is essential for health and productivity: There’s nothing like a quality night’s sleep to have you ready and energized for the day ahead.

[19:35] 8 Habits to do on a Sunday for a more productive week

1. Meal Planning & Meal Prepping

2. Organize & Prioritize Your To Do List

3. Time Block Your Calendar

4. Set up Habit Triggers

5. Plan Your Outfits for the Week E112: Style as Self-Care: The Comfy-Chic Formula

6. Review Your Weekly Goals

7. Complete Basic Chores

8. Plan a Fun Outing or Experience 

Let’s connect on instagram, find me @vallavignelife

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

Categories

Download the FREE Dream Lifestyle Roadmap

Dream Lifestyle Roadmap

Follow on Instagram

E112: Style as Self Care: The Comfy-Chic Formula with Sarah Peel

Meet Sarah Peel of Citizenne Style & Home, as she teaches us how to shop our closets, take better care of our clothes, and create self care practices through style in her holistic lifestyle guide: Citizenne At Home…

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E131: How to Incorporate Mindfulness Daily with Sarah Sturino

Learn about the nine pillars of mindfulness and how to start incorporating them into your daily practice to live a more mindful and heart-centred life, featuring special guest, Sarah Sturino…

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

Categories

Download the FREE Dream Lifestyle Roadmap

Dream Lifestyle Roadmap

Follow on Instagram

E122: Supporting Our Health Through Art and Cycles with Milica Dodic

Join me in welcoming Milica Dodic to the show, and lean in as we chat about the ongoing healing and support of our mental, emotional, and physical health through syncing with cycles and creating through art…

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[1:06] Valerie Lavigne: You're listening to another special episode of the women's empowerment podcast today, I get to introduce you to Milica, she's the owner of rhymes with pizza, where she creates hand painted custom nails.

Her career includes working in the film and television industry in business affairs festival programming and recruitment, with over 15 years of practice and experience with nail art, Milica has expanded her business in May 2020 to offer press on nails and educating others on proper nail care when she's not working or thinking about nails, Milica loves playing with her puppy watching TV shows and movies, and advocating for mental health.

It's so great to have you on the show today Mili we have always had a good time on Instagram, and I just love how that we share like memes and playlists and hilarious reels all about like the 90s in the early 2000s and makes me, like it makes my day I laugh so hard at all of them.

Milica Dodic: It's so funny because I just said to someone this morning that I love how people know to send me nostalgic stuff, and it just brightens up my day. I'm like, oh so I'm this person now like I'm obsessed with the 90s and 2000s and just, can you just please take me back to that time.

VL: It's such a fun like kind of little extra piece of you that we get to see on your Instagram page I love like the quizzes that you do and the stories I think they're so fun I'm like, Yes, I remember all these TV shows. Oh my gosh, I use that oh blow up backpack and like a blow of chair and, oh my gosh, just like days and days and days I just love that, and I love, I love those.

MD: I love unlocking people's memories, good ones though.

VL: Oh my gosh, you know what there was one playlist where I was like, This is triggering me, I'm not ready to listen to. Yeah, thanks. 2009 or 10 right now. But since I've known you and started following you online. I think it's been like almost 10 months I want to say, but I've really had this awesome opportunity to watch you launch and grow your company and your new press on nails which are amazing. So it's been an absolute pleasure and an inspiration just to see your creativity and your passions like really shine in the work that you do. It's incredible.

[3:32] MD: Yeah, it's, it was something that I actually kind of started doing a walk like a long time ago, probably about well, long, about five or six years ago that I was thinking of doing press on nails and then it just sort of fell to the side, and then I found that with the pandemic. I had to make some sort of switch because I wasn't, I didn't want to have people coming into my home which also doubles as my studio, and my workspace. And then I have a few friends who weren't being compromised. So I wanted to be able to offer something that, you know, still like makes people happy I guess like through.

It's basically just wearable art. That's how I view nail nail art in general. And it's just very specific stuff so I generally don't offer just like a single color it's always hand painted miniature pieces of artwork.

And, yeah, it was, it. I saw a bunch of other nailers that I follow that kind of started doing that and offering nails or press on nails. And, yeah, I just thought, why not try it.

VL: Oh, you're doing an awesome job you are a very talented artist and just like you said they're very unique and miniature canvases that's how I like to look at it too, but you are also an advocate for mental health, could you tell us more about your journey and your experience with this.

MD: Yeah. I think I even infused that in any of the work that I do, even with the press on nails. When I first started doing them it was important for me to sort of try and give back in some way and incorporate the things that I believe in so that's where like the designs for charity came in, And one of the first ones that I did was for mental health because it was for October's mental health awareness.

You know like nails have always been a way of creative expression for me, it's just sort of like, it became more of this outlet, where, where I'm able to just like you know even like express my mental state. A lot of the time people are able to tell if I'm not feeling well. When I'm not posting anything about nails, or if it's been like a while there have been times in the past where like, I wouldn't post anything for like two weeks or something.

There would be like two weeks where I'm not posting anything and you know I'll make a post and someone will be like, oh is wondering what happened like are you okay.

So, yeah, um, my journey with mental wellness is, or mental illness rather is quite a long one and an ongoing one. I suffered from a pretty bad nervous breakdown back in 2016.

And that was, it was like super difficult for me to navigate.

And because I went into a state of self isolation for probably about eight months. I didn't have a job at the time, or I did have a job but it was just so part time and fortunately they understood what was happening so it was able to work from home for a time, and then that contract was done so.

So I was stuck in such a state of like really deep depression and not knowing what I was going to do with my life and not really even knowing who I was, that, you know, the only thing that that gave me any comfort was nailart I was like the one thing that was pretty consistent in my life. Other than like watching HGTV and hallmark movies and other comfort shows. And, Yeah, it was, it was kind of like it was just really difficult trying to navigate that whole field of mental health and especially as someone that is an immigrant.

*Molly Barks*

[7:50] VL: No problem. We love it it's just an extra sound effects she's our other special guests.

MD: She has a lot to say

VL: Yeah, it sounds like it I'll have to have her on her own episode.

MD: Um, I think, you know, like as an immigrant, that's something that is such a difficult conversation to have with your family like it's not something that we ever really talked about, you know, growing up, I've probably had anxiety for a big portion of my life.

And it was just something that was not recognized So because of that, you just sort of like hide it or you push it aside and think that it's like oh I'm just being dramatic because that's what I was told.

So I partially had to try and navigate the system on my own because I didn't have conversations with friends about it. But it wasn't until I started going through some through, through it, that I started being more vulnerable and opening up the conversation with other people that they started coming to me for advice, and even just wanting to like share their experience and their story of dealing with mental illness.

[9:06] VL: And I think that's so important in. In those times already do feel very sad or anxious, or are alone, because it I find it is very isolating to feel those ways and you don't always know how to, how to manage it or how to cope or how to process those things so to be able to have friendships and support groups like that is so powerful. You shared a couple little things that really helped you, when you were struggling with, with your mental health. If someone came to you today, right now like if I told you right now that I was really struggling with my mental health, what would be your advice or what would, how would you support your friend.

MD: Um, I think, listening to what their experience is obviously so important. It's not so much about like asking questions I think that that's something that is so that the job of a therapist or a trained professional.

You know, things that are, that come from a place of empathy, I think that was one big thing that I had to learn is the difference between sympathy and empathy and it's just such an ongoing practice to try not to, like, flip it on its head and be like, well, at least, you know, blah blah blah.

I think my biggest thing is just really trying to see sit in that space as hard as it is something that my therapist told me at the beginning when I started therapy, about four years ago.

She, she would constantly say like just sit with your feelings and I'm like, but I am doing it and it's not working and she's like, After several weeks ago saying that she was like, literally sit there with your feelings do not watch TV while you're doing it don't read a book don't listen to music nothing just be there in silence and just like feel things.

So I started doing that and I was like, Oh my gosh, this is what she meant by sit with your feelings and sometimes it's not even sitting for me the thing that helps me a lot of the time is just laying on the ground, though something another friend told me is like, if you just lay down on like a cold ground like your kitchen floor, whatever, just the contrast of that, the cold against your body kind of gives you like a, like a physical cue to sort of snap out of it, I guess.

And it just allows gives me the space to, like, think because the only thing of staring at is the ceiling.

And then the other thing that helps me to was just really researching the different stuff, you know like I didn't really understand what anxiety or depression was, I just kind of knew what the surface definition of it was.

And, you know, like, No, I just believe that knowledge is power, and being able to know like what resources are available to you. And that's something that I say to people all the time, don't, don't let the, the financial aspect be be a deterrent for you. I know that a lot of therapy is not necessarily affordable but there are different resources available, where it is more accessible I think especially with the pandemic there has been a bigger.

What's the word. There's been a bigger focus on mental health and I think a lot of organizations and places of practice have realized, you know, we need to be able to offer services for a lower price or even for free.

[12:52] VL: Those are really helpful I find like what you said about laying on the floor of your kitchen floor, it’s very grounding even if you can’t get outside in the grass if you can't get there, that cold feeling and even the, the firmness of a kitchen floor typically is something that really brings you into the present moment. So, what you were saying by like, oh sitting with your feelings but not watching TV and not being on your phone and not just like talking to your dog actually sitting and being with your feelings can be really difficult to do, and as that's as you start to recognize or acknowledge the feelings or bring awareness to the feelings that are coming up. We automatically seem to want to work. We seem to want to distract ourselves from processing it from dealing with it, or from just even recognizing it so for you, what would you say if someone was like, I'm having a really hard time. Like I feel the feelings, and then I just kind of ignore them or push them back away I'm having a really hard time processing, which you say or do?

MD: I think that's, it's so difficult for me to give advice on like one tip because everybody's so individual I don't know what type of, you know, stuff, you know background, they come with or whatever. I think for me.

What helped me was, was knowing that like, you know, progress isn't linear, I might, you know, the more I practice something that better I will generally get with get get get at it.

And it's the same with like practicing sitting with your feelings, I might feel like crap one day.

And then I won't be able to you know like sit with my feelings that day because I'm just so deep in it.

It's just kind of giving myself that grace and compassion and allowing the space for things to flow essentially. I think when, when I was able to alleviate some of that pressure for myself of being like, I just need to do better like how do I learn to sit with my feelings that once that pressure was gone. That's when I was like, Okay, today I'm having an off day like I might actually just want to like, you know, I can't deal with my feelings today, I'm just gonna watch a movie. Right. And then the next day, I might have a little bit more strength or energy to actually devote time to mindfulness and being able to sit there and process things, you know in a healthier way.

I think it's even like you made a post today that was, that was basically about the like compassion piece and you know that like, you don't have to always be improving yourself or doing better and stuff, you know like, give yourself that grace period.

[15:59] VL: Yeah that's true I did post about that today, It’s an ongoing journey, or mental health is not something that okay we fixed it and now it's good to go. It's something that we're constantly working toward or nurturing maybe instead of always trying to improve improve improve. I mean there's definitely some power and positivity but I feel like the real work, and the real power comes when you can forgive yourself and when you can say like it's okay to not feel amazing every single day it's okay to not feel super happy in this moment, like, we're human beings we have emotions these emotions come and go and they go up and they go down and they go around and all of these different things. But you know that I post about and I share a lot of content about practices and habits and kind of like daily rituals and things are there any rituals or routines that you like to implement into your lifestyle maybe more frequently than not, that support your mental health.

MD: So I go to a naturopath, and that helps both in my mental like with my mental illness, and then also in like hormonal imbalance and whatever other physical issues that may be having.

And I think that that has really helped me in like keeping on track with like getting to know my body better.

That's one practice that I've implemented in like, you know, if one day, I feel like eating pizza, it's okay for me to eat pizza.

But then, you know, there are certain certain repercussions to that so just having a bit of that balance, you know like, I don't necessarily have any like daily rituals I'm kind of like bad at keeping up with the consistency of things sometimes but I think the one thing that is more consistent is like, allowing myself, the compassion to just listen to what my body needs at that particular time.

Whether it's like, you know, mindfully checking in at any point of the day, I don't necessarily start my mornings being like, Okay, what do I need right now. It's just, you know, I might start my mornings off.

You know, really frantic because the dog for example will wake me up at 630 in the morning with her crying, and that doesn't start me off on you know on a good foot in the mornings, but throughout the day I'll try and implement even like points of relaxation I find that like play for example is something that is so important to me. You know today, for example, I'm. I'm so, like, in this in my luteal phase of my cycle and I know that I get a little bit more pad top. The PMS is like a lot worse. So just being aware of what part of my cycle I'm in and kind of trying to work with that instead of against it's so important to me.

And just recognizing that like today for example I won't be able to do a lot of work so instead I might just like, watch TV, and do some painting, and then the painting something that is just a hobby.

And that's another thing that are in any of, like, my wellness practices, it's so important to have some sort of hobby that you aren't looking to make like financial gain from.

[19:44] VL: Yeah, you've made a lot of really valid and really important points, and I think that I mean if we go backwards so having a hobby that doesn't that you're not monetizing, I think is really important, and especially for myself because I'm always kind of like I really love what I do, I love my business, and there are parts of my business that make a little bit more money than others and even though. Like, like content creation for example with my Instagram. I really like making content creation, I don't get paid for every post that I do. But technically that's for work, but part of me makes the excuse of it, like, well, it's fun, and it is really fun. And I like the photography part of that I like the creativity piece to it but maybe.

So you're inspiring me to maybe just do like, or photography and less of it having to be okay this is for something, it can just be for pleasure can be for play.

Also I love that you are following your cycle, this is something that I'm also practicing more and more and specifically with like work and when I do my interviews and also when I'm doing more like intuitive, intuitive creation and not always doing, I think there's such a stigma around having to always be productive and giving yourself permission to say, well, like and check in and say how am I feeling, even if it's not every day at the same time or however, to at least give yourself that time, and that that compassion to say, Okay, well, you know what, this, this part of my cycle is where I take a break, as part of my cycle is where I push a little harder, and for women who aren't doing that yet. I think that's something that has been really game changing for me, and I find, I'm more productive when I follow the flow of my body, because I just like you're, it's like you're working with yourself and you find this like incredible life source energy within you that just, I don't know I just like I can take on the whole world sometimes even when I'm in that. Lower hormonal phase in my cycle. It's like my meditations are marked with it, and I have so many incredible and like expansive ideas for the show and for my Instagram and like how I want to serve in my workshops and all these different things so it's pretty incredible that you're doing it. Do you have you been doing it for a little while.

MD: Um, it's something that has sort of come up in conversation over the last, I would probably say like two or three months, just organically and it wasn't actually until a couple days ago that I looked into it and realized that there is a term for this it just hasn't been like medically researched as much as.

Oh my gosh, cycle thinking.

It's, it's something that like a couple friends have mentioned to me before but not like explicitly in those in that term.

So now I'm looking at like buying a couple books about it because I want to know more about it. I think even my naturopath has like sort of talked about it but hasn't been like listen let's like attack it from this. From this view.

And it's something that is just making me feel so much more empowered, instead of seeing seeing it as like, Oh, I feel like crap, this many days of the month, and I can't do anything like why am I not being productive and instead seeing it as like, this is just the state of my cycle where, as you said, like maybe I can be more creative instead of attacking things from very high energy point, you know it's it's it's working with your body rather than against it and I think that there's so much power to that and yeah it's it's exciting being able to know that there's this like whole other thing that I haven't never heard about really. It also kind of brings me back to my days of like, academia and learning about you know the luteal and follicular phase of your cycle, but like not really knowing what the heck that even means.

So now, you know like, it sucks that I'm 30, and I'm only now finding out about it. I wish that I knew about this when I was like a teenager.

So, I find that, like, the more women I'm able to talk to about this, there's just such a, for lack of a better word like a sisterhood around it right and i think that that feels so empowering to me.

[24:35] VL: Yeah, and it goes back to what you said about having that supportive community, and it's not just for mental health is for our social health and our emotional health and our physical health event. And it's cool to see how everything's really connected when you're doing cycles thinking, you will start to recognize if you haven't already that these different cycles that we go through, are very closely related to the seasons that everyone goes through every year.

So if the way that I think of it is like okay every month, I go through a year of seasons, or I go through four seasons and then working with those seasons like thinking about how in wintertime. We are a little bit more hibernating that summer probably like Netflix and chillin, and just taking it easy. And then as spring starts to come.

We're feeling a little bit more inspired and we're starting to do more things because like think about like the flowers that are or like the seeds that we planted, or are starting to plant are now coming into that blossoming time and same with summer like, that's when we're, we're harvesting all of our crops and all the flowers are like totally in bloom and we're. That's when we're like, really excited and we can do our interviews and we can just really show up and be these like really vibrant cells, and then it cycles back into fall, where things start to slow down a little bit, but it's not about like the, you know, like the dying trees are like the hibernating trees, it's more like, okay, each of the leaves are falling down this is where we're like wrapping up or wrapping up all the things that we've been doing so that we can prepare for our hibernation and I think that's such a fun and cool way to to explore and learn more about your body so I'm so excited that you're on this journey. I don't have any resources that come to my mind. Do you have any books or resources that you are looking into getting about this?

[26:27] MD: Yeah, the woman who coined the terms Cycle Syncing is named Alyssa Vitti and she wrote, WomenCode, and then she also has another book I forget the name of it. I think she's a nutritionist that's based in New York or something and basically all her work is around us and just trying to empower women to really get to know their bodies better, you know, like cycles thinking through, even incorporating things in your lifestyle and nutrition based stuff, like what things you should or shouldn't eat. According to the part of your cycle you're in.

And, yeah, I'm looking at getting the audio book for that and then probably just like the regular book for her second piece that she wrote because I think it also comes with like a bunch of recipes and stuff and I love cooking, most of the time.

So, yeah, it's kind of like this like cool new thing that I am starting to discover and it feels really fun, like you said, and it just feels like there's just so much hope behind it I think in a lot of ways in the past, especially when you're talking to doctors and stuff and this goes hand in hand with like mental illness too is that it will be really dismissive or they'll just sort of use these like three blanket terms or, you know like, general practice, things that might not actually work for your body so at the beginning of my whole mental wellness journey. I was.

I was supposed to go on an antidepressant, and I was like, This doesn't feel right for my body and I ended up listening to my body and not to the psychiatrist. So wasn't very good at her practice.

And I ended up going to a naturopath, and that has helped me so much more because we actually sit down time.

And it's not a thing where, you know, I had to have a lot of antidepressants, so I think being able to take a more holistic lifestyle is.

VL: Because we’re still on the topic of mental health resources topic, what resources would you recommend?

MD: So there's, there are a few resources about this woman specific to Toronto and Ontario for affordable therapy. I think it's affordable therapy network.com or something like that. And it's just a list of a bunch of different therapists and social workers and counselors that offer affordable rate therapies both for couples and individuals.

And that's how I found my current therapist and she's really great.

What else is there, I have also a link to a document that a friend of mine and I have combined some resources as well for not just actual like therapy but just different like links to learning a little bit more about mental health. So I can share that as well.

VL: That would be amazing. All this has been a really interesting conversation I feel like we dabbled in a little bit of everything in terms of like mindset, mental health, emotional health and also some of our physical health too. I think this is going to be really helpful for people listening. So let us know where we can find you follow you and how we can support your business?

MD:

IG | @rhymes_with_pizza

Website | www.ryhmeswithpizza.com Press on nails available on this site! And then I also take custom orders as well. Prices are, there's a large range of them. So everything is custom made, and every piece is unique because it's hand painted. And then I also offer some nail care stuff so there's cuticle oils and they're all natural.

There's three different types currently I'm probably going to be adding a couple more. And that's a little bit more affordable and it's also for people that don't necessarily want to get press on nails.

VL: Yeah, I was telling the Milica before the recording that because of how much I work in like the fitness industry and how much I use my hands I feel like I'm constantly chipping my nails and I never, I don't remember the last time I painted my nails I'm going to be honest with you, but I do like I do feel like there is a part of me that has these beautiful press on nails that you have but I just learned my, I just learned my nail care from you and I feel like I learned how I would want my nails to look, if I paint.

MD: It's also inspiration for outside of just nail stuff like if you're into drawing, painting, I love talking about just like creativity and that whole journey too so I think anybody can be creative. It's honestly like if you haven't already checked out her Instagram page you would need to, because I still don't understand how you make those detailed drawings or detailed like, how do you do that with nail polish I really don't know. Every time I'm like this is amazing.

VL: It’s so impressive! I can't even sit still just to like paint one nail one color, and I find like I always it's always like, how good is it, how does it look like I pushed my fingernail into the couch after I painted it.

VL: What are you currently reading, or what is your favourite book?

MD: I haven't been reading as much I just found that like reading is really difficult for me to keep consistent with it so the way that I try and get back into that habit is reading youth graphic novels.

I recently read one. Oh my gosh, the name escapes me, But it was just this like adventure graphic novel and it's super fun and, yeah, there's always a beginning, middle and end, and things are always, there's always a resolution.

VL: What do you love most about being a woman?

MD: Oh my gosh, so many things. I think like femininity is so powerful to me like being able to be able delicate and assertive.

Feels so powerful to me I think that there's, you know, there's like, just so many different almost like characteristics that you can take on as a woman, and I love that.

VL: What does “empowerment” mean to you?

MD: I almost look look at empowerment is like being able to share that with other people. I don't necessarily feel empowered all the time myself but if I'm able to share that with somebody else and make them feel confident about what they're doing and who they are, then, then I almost feed off of that.

VL: What are you currently working toward?

MD: Oh gosh. Um, what am I working toward. I think just having a better patience, practice with myself. I think that that kind of goes hand in hand with the whole play thing and why I'm trying to incorporate more hobbies and just like quiet time because it gets me into a better flow state and then I'm able to get back to work and like create things a little bit better. It also like goes with that whole cycle sinking thing and that, that just makes me super excited.

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E121: How to Ask Powerful Yes or No Questions to Connect You to Your intuition

Today’s episode guest AND sponsor is going to BLOW YOUR MIND! Learn all the best questions to ask yourself so that you can connect to your intuition….

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[1:17] Valerie LaVigne: Welcome back to the women's empowerment Podcast. I am so excited to introduce you to Tara McCrory Tara is a clarity coach and certified energy practitioner, she empowers the ready and willing to connect the dots to their own life and align to their intuition, so they may understand what it's like to live with true clarity and flow Tara's uniqueness lies in her use of the Akashic records. Human Design intuitive guidance and energy work to completely release blocks, limiting beliefs hindering patterns, and the non beneficial energies holding our clients back her ability to see true gently expose the shadows indicate to in a way that is easy to understand and highly resonant is one of her greatest gifts. Tara believes in the power of powerful questions, a beginner's mindset, and that everyone can receive the clarity they so rightfully deserve and are worthy of, they just have to ask.

Whoa, I get like these affirmation goosebumps when I read that, because I feel like what what's next like when I meet Tara and when I talk to Tara like what are we going to discover. Do you get that a lot? 

Tara McCrory: I definitely get all the time well how did you know this? And the short answer is, I don't know how I knew to ask that. I just knew to ask it, and I just let it come to me and so when I talk about beginner's mindset and when I say the power of questions What I mean is the power of asking yourself, simplified question. I always tell people, okay this is simple it's yes or no.

Yes or No. Are you grounded. Are you 100% grounded and people can accept the response as their own versus.

Why should they accept the response as their guidance as their clarity, versus. I don't know, am I grounded, I'm like, it's a yes or no question, you're going to get a yes or you're going to get a no and it really helps people, myself included, move through that aspect of like, Is this my intuition is it's not my intuition, am I overthinking it because as soon as I ask someone a question and it's a yes or no question and they start to go.

Well maybe I'm like that's not your guidance, that's you trying to formulate a response so yeah part of it is understanding the next step and what to ask ourselves in that clarity and part of it is just like being in receptive mode of okay rapidfire yes or no, is this is this true for me, that's a big one that I keep asking people right now. Is this true for you, yes or no is this 100% true for you. Yes or no. I'm talking about discernment is this 100% true for you, yes or no. So, yeah, you just you just have to ask, is really a stumbling block for a lot of people, myself included.

[4:51] VL: Yeah, you're saying this and I'm thinking, Okay, big, big nods and nodding along are definitely in agreeance with this, I feel this. I'm definitely one of those people who I find that I'm trying to think of a logical way, or I'll ask the question and then answer it like okay, if yes, this is what's going to happen if nope this is what's going to happen. And I tried to kind of formulate the answer this way, but I'm also someone who who I really want to tap into that intuition more and I encourage people to do the same. So maybe we'll start with how we can ask those powerful questions like how. where do we start with all of that. If we're just like so much in our heads and trying to figure things out.

TM: That's such a good question, and my, I do this every single day so what I'm going to share with you guys today are things that I do for myself every single day.

Here's the thing, I start by learning how to muscle, which is what empowered me to dive down the route of yes or no question. I use a pendulum, all the time, a pendulum simply is.

You can have an F plus on a string button on a string. Basically I use it as a calibration or a antenna to, to read my energy. But when you don't know where to start this is what I suggest to people is that take five or six deep breaths.

Write down everything you can possibly imagine. Just do a humongous brain dump in bullet point form on a piece of paper. And then what I tell people is to number it, and to take a couple deep breaths and ask for the number so just say you have one through 10.

Great. Take a deep breath. What number do you want me to focus on this is what I say is I'm always like Okay guys, what number do you want me to focus on six. Okay cool six. Then I go to look at six, and I say, actually so six on my list is guided by guides, I mean, ebooks and stuff because people have been asking a lot of questions so we'll use this as a perfect example. Number six, they want to talk to me about number six guides. Okay, we'll actually use the whole terminology of your spirit guides grayed out. So, yes or no. Do you want me to assign you a name.

Because I will tell you it's actually a lot easier to connect to your intuition. If you assign or talk to your guides, as if they're like, Hey Val Hey Tara. So are you okay with me assigning a name to yes or no. Yes. Cool.

Allow the name to come to you. If they're like, no. Awesome, what's the next step. Do you want to give me your name that, yes. Cool.

What's the next step, I would actually write down the alphabet, in a little kind of crazy chart, and I would start to figure out what their name is or I would just say, hey, awesome. Next slide. Can you give me your name. Ash, I'm getting ash. Okay, so maybe one of youse guyses ash. Cool.

That's how I use yes or no questions on an everyday basis, you have a long to do list. Put your to do list down brain dump it out the numbers. Where do you want me to start yes or no is that 100% Yes, I will also give you that as a hot tip. Always ask if it's 100%. Because value or like, if this is a yes then this happens and you're creating this crazy decision tree, and it actually will simplify once you say, I'm looking for what is 100%. Yes, because technically speaking, we know that yes this 51%. In all honesty 51% is not a good enough, yes for me I don't want to be actioning guidance from my intuition if it's like a. Maybe there's 51% I want guidance on 100% I want to action and move forward with 100% clarity so I always ask, Is this 100% Yeah.

[9:08] VL: Whoa, I just we just had an episode called mastering your to do list and I'm like scrap it. We need to re-record it!

Episode 115: Master Your To Do List

Would you do like an intuitive intuitive mastering your to do list bonus episode, I love that that is really cool I cannot wait to try this because I do often have a very long to do list but I also. So I know you work with human designs I'm a manifesting generator, and what I'm wondering about that is that I need to be in touch with my sacral and to respond right so it's cool because I'm learning that the yes or no questions are actually really important to someone like me, when we need to respond. We just need to know yes or no. This or that to count complications. 

TM: 100%, it's so interesting because in humans that I'm a projector I do not have a sacral response.

But what I will say is because the majority that I have met and worked with are either projectors because they want to learn how to live in their projector or our generators and manifesting generators as a large part of the population. Yes guys operate through yes or no questions already, and then the rest of us can in fact train ourselves to operate through yes and no question. So, by that I mean, I don't have the secret response I really don't have a gut response and that's actually what led me partially down this journey is that when people like me have this gut feeling and I'm like, something that's wrong with me because I don't have this. I don't know what you're talking about like I don't have this gut feeling.

But as time went on and I asked myself okay. I don't have a gut feeling show me what a yes feels like in my body and what it feels like in my body. Those became really big game changers for me. I yes actually feels like my ears are popping a no actually feel like I guess this kind of like wildly uncomfortable but hit at the top of my throat. So, I now no yes I know what that feels like. Or, I started by body swinging that's another way of muscle testing, I could use a visual yes or no. In terms of my pendulum so I started to train myself to find my yeses and noes, and then once I started doing that and I became really curious with the question.

I like the word you use over complicating it and then now simplifying it so the yeses and noes totally simplify things. It's, it's a way to tap into your guides into your intuition access your own Akashic reference for example I use that all the time to just gain the clarity that you need when I say that I'm clarity coaching I'm literally guiding you to okay here's, here's five other questions you may not have thought about asking yourself why don't you try these. And people are like, Whoa, I didn't think of asking that. So, it is we have this tendency through our mind, our logical mind to want to overcomplicate things. But when we bring it back down to simplifications and yes or no questions.

It's, it's game changing so I'm super happy that you are a manifesting generator and a compare your yeses and noes, and be as a manifesting generator you're supposed to be doing a lot of things at once, like that's part of your like your multitasking extraordinare so when you have your massive to do list, and you can ask Okay, this and this, or this, you know, you may actually get to em for Okay cool. So you can maybe listen to a podcast and be. I don't know, creating whatever spreadsheet or cleaning, for example, but it gives you guidance on how you're going to operate that.

[13:20] VL: Yeah, I really, I really liked what you said about, even if you don't have that gut feeling that you can ask yourself What does a yes or no feel like in your body, and this is something that I've taught before and I call it my IGA s or like my intuitive guidance system. And, and it's just that's it's simply asking the question What does yes feel like, What does no feel like and that actually changed so much within me because this was way before I even knew anything about human design this was way before I was like, focusing on my sacral and it was very much a gut feeling but also a heart space feeling for me too. It felt like the know was like a very constricted like kind of like it was holding me back like whoa, and then the yes was more open I almost set up a little taller. So that was my experience with that.

And yes, I'm definitely a multitasker. So I resonate a lot with with that Human Design profile. You did mention Akashic records and. But I before I, before we just get into that I did have one more question with as a clarity coach Do you find that when you start to encourage people to ask more questions, do you find people are getting overwhelmed with all of the questions they're asking like, I know you said like one to 10 in your to do list and then you write down like abcdefg for figuring out what your guides name is can we get too overwhelmed and can we get like too deep into it, and if yes then how do we pull ourselves back?

TM: Yeah, that's a good question. Absolutely. I think you can get too deep into it. Because we start to let me say acknowledge how fun it is all of a sudden, get into things.

And I'll have people reach out to me and be like, okay, so I know my guy. And now we want to know what their purpose is, I'm like, Okay, cool. So go back to the basic principles of like, write down every single topic you can think of, and then. Now, typically speaking, the people that are coming to me in terms of where they're at and where they want clarity is on a very specific topic and what I like to tell people is, it's the concept of chunking up like go as high as you can, with the vision and as sort of Up in the sky as you can and then ask questions there and go down and go down and go down you can drill, it's drilling down so what most people in fact have difficulty in is getting to the most chunked up place. So if I can help you get to the most chunked up place, then you can begin to start to drill down on your own. Now, I also believe, obviously, and a couple of things that are going to help people understand the whole concept and really understand how their inner guidance system, like you say is speaking to them and one of those ways is obviously through powerful yes or no question.

And through powerful yes or no questions, I first of all always lead my clients to Are you energetically software is all of the energy that you're carrying when you're feeling frustrated and overwhelmed and all of these other things, is it in fact yours, or are you carrying it.

For others, for the collective, did you pick it up, because you walked into a room that was really good, and all of a sudden.

One of my favorite terms is, I'm an empath I get that all the time for people I'm an empath and I'm like, I love that you're an empath. And to that I am going to say, I really would love for you to be an empath in recovery and just be a super compassionate person. Meaning, you don't need to take it on you understand that you're not here to take it on, you don't in fact take it on. But you meet people where they are, you can show them empathy and compassion, but you also understand that their vibe is their vibe, and you In fact, do not need to be the sponge. So it is through that that I think really helps people and then it also helps them from going down the rabbit hole because we go down the rabbit hole and we're super overwhelmed we're taking on all of these other energies because these energies.

They think like us they act like us they make us think that we are one when in fact, we're not as yours over there and I'm just going to return to sender with love. And then I'm going to go and I'm going to go on ask myself, my own questions so you can you absolutely can. And the first thing I would tell people is like, you know, check your energy isn't 100% yours. If you get a no go back to basics. Take your energy, your own and Daniel have a totally different experience.

[18:22] VL: Yeah, I, I know a lot of people who identify as empaths and I too can be very empathetic, but I find that it's been years of creating these energetic boundaries and really be able to being able to hold space because I think my, my, my journey of service and helping people really started when I became a yoga teacher, and I was noticing that people were, you know, you're coming to come to yoga with baggage sometimes I get it, that was part of my practice too It was like okay let it go on your mat, but as a teacher and being surrounded by so many people bringing their stuff into class, you really have to say like, this is mine. And this is yours. And I'm holding the space for you, but I'm not taking this on for you. And it's like, I also work with essential oils and I tell people like this oil is not going to save you, or cure your whatever's going on, it's going to support you in healing and processing, this so that I really liked that you said, you know, now you're going to, you're going to become this compact very compassionate person without having to, to feel and take on those things.

[19:46] TM: Yeah, that's huge. For a lot of empathetic people. Yeah. and you said something that was really important there was your energy boundaries and it's something that I talk about all the time is energetic boundaries, I'm like okay so let's check your energetic boundaries and people are like, way. And the way I like to describe it to people is like hold on a surgeon would put on gloves, before surgery. That is for the surgeons protection and the patient's protection. Anyone in healthcare would do the same. They put on gloves, so why would you not put on your glove. For your own protection and their protection and then people kind of go, what and one of the things that I often work with people as I say okay so let's, let's see how many energetic boundaries, how many gloves, should you be wearing. So, in this case, I hope you don't mind, well I'm going to check how many boundaries, you should be wearing so Val should have 12 energy gloves and I'll explain a little bit about what that means. So if you think of each one as its own unique color white and red whatever when you have strong energetic boundaries you have white, you have red, you have blue, you have, but when they are pierced by taking on other people's energy or even social media for example or they become pink and that's when we become very overwhelmed. That's when we have a lot of other people's energy mixing in with us because there's there's holes in it, and it's it's a rainbow versus solid colors, so you should have 12, and you in fact do have as well.

Yeah, which is amazing. I love to give people tangible things like that like okay let's ask yourself for a number of years how we asked for a number, because when people can start to sort of assign numbers or gain. Simple numbers tangible, in my opinion, to energetic things that are completely unseen. It helps them connect those dots for themselves so energetic boundaries are so important. It helps you maintain your connection to solve, maintain your connection to your intuition, it helps you stay grounded and in your body, and it really helps you be in the most magnificent place of service. Because I can be an empath in service and then be completely fatigued and completely exhausted and not know what I'm doing, or I can be empathetic, compassionate in my place of service which is exactly where you know you're saying you're doing and when you when you started your journey as a yoga instructor lady, holding this space it's really hard to hold space. Response just like taking it all in from each other.

[22:52] VL: Yeah, I like that analogy of the gloves, and then I almost think about how when I leave certain spaces or classes or whatever, relationships, I almost, I like the idea of like taking off the glass, and just. Okay, that was good, you know, we don't need to do. We created that boundary that safety for both of us. And now we can move forward. Yes. Yeah. Oh good, I'm gonna use that. There's so many things to do today. So many things to try!

Okay, let's jump into Akashic records because you've mentioned it a couple times I mentioned it when I read your bio, what are Akashic Records? Loaded question!?

[23:41] TM: In the most simplest form, the Akashic records are a realm. And by realm. I mean, it's a energetic considered a library. The best analogy I have ever come up with and one that I say, often is consider Kashuk records. Google for the spiritual world. That is the best way to describe it.

And so, you know, obviously with Google, if you put into the Google bar, red car, you will get 3000 pages of images and information on red cars, but if you put into the Google spacebar and read Pre Owned Volkswagens 2015 to 2018, you will get a totally different response.

Similar to the Akashic Records. This is why I tell people break it down into powerful questions when you ask yourself powerful questions. You get powerful answers. Now, the catalog records is essentially where because it's an ever living library, spiritual RAM and Google were like your intuition is getting its guidance, its first versus feeding you. Your next step. So, although I have practiced really hard to access to records. What I say is like everybody's already accessing their records, through their intuition. You know, you are talking your intuition you're talking to your guys you're following your guidance, you're standing in the lobby. And when you're like hey, I want to go on the record, they're like, Sure, come on over the elevator lobby, and that's where you go and then you're like, hey, actually, I've been considering this business idea and I really want to know x y and z about it. Cool, let's take you to this massive crazy skyscraper floor where there's going to be all of these resources and all of these ideas for you and that's sort of how it works and that's why I tell people like I'm already in it it's a matter of intention it's a matter of asking different questions is, it's really a matter of, you need to broadening your perspective, a little bit. Sure. A lot of people come to me and they want to know. Half Life things. Great. There's a lot of information about past lives in the Akashic records.

One person actually asked me on the weekend. Well, I want to book an akashic records meeting for my business but why would I need that and I was like, Well, hold on a second. Think of it this way, your business holds and energy, your business.

And you are tied together energetically so if you're one book in the records. Your business is another book, we go in and we read the energies, between the two, we go and we ask, you know, perhaps you've had a past life or something. Um, trust me guys we all have things, but perhaps, perhaps you, what are the things that comes out a lot right now for me is that people have had taken vows or contracts and past lives to be healers. And although that is not a bad thing. When they took them originally they these 1000s of contracts have more energetically and are now hindering their experience as a healer versus, helping them Excel.

Poverty contracts of poverty for example vows of poverty we've all taken them at some point in our many incarnations many lives. And it's a matter of sometimes going in and finding the end, I like to call it the inception point like so the very first time you ever decided that it would be a good idea to say like that I don't need money for this, and then therefore, carry this kind of potential frequency of scarcity or lack or even not accepting money for your services kind of thing that is still to this day, affecting us, so I basically use it all the time to figure out what's in my highest and best. And when I'm guiding people to ask yes or no questions essentially I'm just guiding you to go in and through the records how to do that.

And I, I love it, like I do clearings through it I do activations through it all my manifestations, through it. It's the place where I personally feel most connected. And this is the place where I truly want everyone to feel that deep connection and, be it you call it to the Akashic records, or you call it to your higher self, or you call it to your ancestors. It's your preference that's your lens, that's okay. It's more so the concept of how do you get there to feel that deep connection to understand it and to most importantly, be able to action it with confidence.

[28:50] VL: I've never wanted to visit a library more! I'm like wow that sounds so fun this sounds like an adventure. You did mention asking powerful questions, can you give us some examples of what those powerful questions might be when we start to tap into or visit that Akashic Record library.

TM: So here's some basic powerful questions that people oftentimes are like, I will start people with asking if your souls 100% of your body. 

I know that sounds like a little bit of a strange question and people are like, what do you mean of course it's 100, like I'm breathing. And that comes out all the time. And I'm like, yeah but you know at the end of the day when we're dreaming, or we're sleeping or we're daydreaming. We're going to these other places, and having your soul 100% your body really helps you discern the messages that you get. The other thing that I asked. And I tell people ask is asking for 100% grounded, because we actually need to be 100% grounded to discern the messages they need to come through, hit the ground, come back up and they because essentially we're building a lexicon. We are, we are building our translation service with source with the records with our guide. And so if you're not grounded it's really hard to build that translation service.

So when I go into the record, simple questions that I get people that are powerful that I asked people to ask themselves are, are there any non beneficial energies in my space, or in my environment that need to be cleared, or dealt with.

Is there anything I can do to move the needle on whatever topic.

So those are the types of powerful questions. Another powerful question that I people underestimate is I will say to them, ask. Have you misinterpreted anything?

That's powerful. Perhaps your guides have been trying to get you to go left but you're just, I don't know you're just not maybe not understanding it and you keep going right.

Another thing I get them to ask is, have I missed any breadcrumbs? Because people often come in, they're like well I don't know the next step because, and they're they're in a tizzy and fury but we have to recognize that. Even me if I go into your record or my own records, I don't see this long winded drawn out path in front of me and being like, Oh my gosh, so golden. I might see two feet ahead, and I have the freewill choice to take those steps. I have to exercise my own discernment to take those steps, and then when I take a step forward. Boom. The next sort of yellow brick on the yellow brick road shows up and so powerful questions can start really simply by have I misinterpreted anything. I have I missed a breadcrumb. Am I misunderstanding anything. Is there anything that I'm missing. That is a huge one because sometimes we don't have all the information but we're trying to make this well rounded decision for ourselves. And it's like, actually hold on, you need to go and access, like, go work within this space, and we're gonna feed you a couple more ingredients in a few days. So, those are powerful questions that people under asked me on a regular basis.

[32:43] VL: Yeah, that's really interesting I don't think I've asked myself any of those questions before maybe the grounding one, which I was like no partner or no need to grab, like immediately put my feet on the floor.

But that is so interesting so when we're asking those powerful questions are, is that how we're accessing the Akashic Records is that where we do that.

TM: That's a good question. There's a lot of ways to access the Akashic records, and I'm just going to say that with everything I believe it's never one size fits all right so you may. Here's an example like I started taking a course, a day course, and then I read books by Linda Howe who's very proficient and like has profound access to the records and she has a pathway prayer. And so a lot of people will use the prayer I do believe that there is a lot of benefit in setting up a prayer intention. So the way I do it is I set an intention, I create a sacred container for myself, whoever I'm reading for. And so I have developed my own process. And this is why I tell people like you really have to try the tools and create. Consider the tools you know flour and sugar and salt and baking soda for cake and then you have to mix your own recipe that works best for you.

And I tell people all the time like again you're already there, it's that intention of going deeper and asking yourself different questions that, and I wouldn't even say different questions, if you're already asking yourself these questions and then all of a sudden, you're like hey I want to go into records, my friend did this actually she's like I've been listening to you all the time to talk about the record so I just told my guys like I want to go on the record, and I asked myself the same three questions and she's like, but what I experienced was the energy felt different. The responses came through with clarity, my yeses and noes were like, more punchy. So that's what I mean by that I do teach people how to access it I do make sure people through the record, and I do it one on one, because of this reason because I want you to find your way to do it. I want you to a find your way to access and be puncher there. I'm here to help you build your lexicon and your translation service but we are two unique souls my translation service is not the same as your translation service so I'm here to guide you to say okay. All right, so here's a great example of one of my mentorship students was reading my records and said I see brownie. I'm like, cool, love brownies. But what does that mean, does that mean comfort food does that mean because brownies to me is like, I love baked goods. That would be totally self care for me so I have to exactly kind of prompt her to What does brownies mean for you, so that you can help me understand that and then when you get there and you build that lexicon so now she knows if she sees brownies. It's a form of just doing something for yourself it's like I am numbing and self care at the same time like cool. The fact that I always talked about recipes in the end she was like, Oh, it's a recipe we have to put these things together. Got it. So, yeah, that's really how I kind of try to explain it to people that you do have access. You get to practice it and you get to feel the difference, and then understand what comes next understand the translation something.

[36:52] VL: I'm really glad you mentioned that because I am a Reiki practitioner as well and I, a long time ago I was really into dream interpretation, and, you know, I had a few books where I would look up what the different meanings were but one of the practitioners that I was working with, she was really encouraging me to create my own legit. Like that's great that the books as, you know, and orange and an apple on a couch mean this but what does it mean to you and me you know now I don't even look at those those books and those glossaries for dream journals because I think about okay well how did I feel and what did that mean for me and you know because I have a friend who hates snakes, but I really like snakes, so when I see a snake in a dream or in a reading or in a meditation. I think of that as like a really powerful energetic strength, and she like runs for the hills, because you're like, no, that's dangerous, that's a that's a no mine's like okay yes follow this, so I'm really glad that you mentioned that in kind of, you know, using the tools that everyone has to make their own recipe, whether it's cookies or brownies or cakes or however it comes out for us it's still, it's still the finished product is still the baked good. So, yeah. And like throughout this whole conversation I just, I'm there like I'm in the CN Tower library and I'm eating this brownie and I just feel like you really bring it into this tangible practical way which is huge on the show people love listeners love that kind of thing. So, yeah, this has been, this has been really great. You've touched on it a little bit. However, I did want to ask why it's so important to or why the Akashic records are so important to us.

TM: They are the endless possibilities, they that's it the energetic library you may have heard it before it can be referenced as the book of life. It is honestly, so important because it's a place that holds all possibility. 

So, we're always searching for answers or possibilities and I love it when people say like the answer is within you. Yeah, it is. It really is. It is unlocking that it is unlocking that and so when you can unlock the door to that library.

And I mean hey I'm of the of the, the era when we had the Dewey Decimal System at the library so I know what it meant to go in elementary school and like to actually go through, you know all the little papers to find okay this book is. And when I do readings for people. I will say to them okay if I go quiet, it's actually because it's like a Dewey Decimal System in my head.

Stop there ask this question to bootstrap there ask the question. And so that's the power of the records, the power of the record is really getting you to unlock that place of inner knowing with confidence. Yes, there are some foundational principles to put in it around that but everyone can access it and when they do and they can, there is this deep level of discernment that all of a sudden shows up and you're like wow I can actually really sit here and say, This is true for me, this is my truth, this is, you know, I feel confident in the way these answers and guidance, and my inner GPS is working so it's like the coolest library. And essentially, everyone is always accessing it, they just don't really ever maybe know that that's your intuition.

[40:58] VL: That's really cool. I never thought of it that way either. But now that you've said, I feel like this was part This has been part of my meditation practice for a long time.

TM: Yes. No. That is a good point. It has been part of your meditation practice for a long time because when we're sitting there we're like, Where's this coming from. It's coming from that realm, it's, it's, it's an energetic faith. And, you know, when you get responses and meditation actually I tell people this all the time, people say to me, oh you know I can't meditate, I'm gonna fall on it be honest, I don't meditate that much anymore because I just feel that connection that I have through meditation in other aspects. When I'm super overwhelmed. I will get back into meditation. But I will tell people, hey, ask yourself a question before you go into meditation, and it is quite game changing because what you're doing is you're actually accessing yes the record you're actually accessing source in your guide.

But then you have guidance, because when people tell me oh yeah well I did the meditation and I'm like great what came through what. Well, there's like a little bit of that and, well, if you don't go in and ask a question and you get all of these basically puzzle pieces that you don't know how they go together. It's because of that.

Set your, that's what people say set your intention that's why you will say as a yoga instructor Okay Is that your intention. That's exactly what you have to do is that your intention. So it's the same in the record set your intention your intention is what, what are you curious so what do you want to know about what guidance, do you want to know about and what you don't get an answer for what I tell people is to go back and ask, is that you're not going to tell me right now, because sometimes we don't get an answer and then we get you be discouraged, huh.

[43:00] VL: Yeah. Okay, this is, this is very interesting, and I you know what it's something that I, I, again and again I will always repeat this set the intention for whatever it is the practice for your meditation for your business or. Yeah, literally anything that started with intention start your day with intention, that's what I do every single morning.

So something that I wanted to ask was, is there anything that hasn't been said today that maybe I don't, because I don't know so much about the Akashic Records maybe I haven't asked it. Is there anything else about this topic that you want to share?

TM: Oh, that's a good question. Honestly, we've shared so far I've shared so much about it. And for me, I just really want everyone to feel that place of love and peace and confidence that can come from accessing that part of you that reaches into the records is really what it is. So, yes, it's a realm and yes you can read all these kinds of things about it and you can read people say that you know you need to do this, this and this to get into it and you need to, like, I'm the number one person that would like. The fact of the matter is that there are no secrets, there are no number one, there are everybody can access it, get in game the information. It's really about finding the tools and techniques that work for you.

And to consistently practice this is this is a practice spiritual practice development skill that we get to develop and when you kind of devote some time to it. I will say it's probably the greatest act of self care and self love you can ever give to yourself because it's not deep assurance that you can lean on yourself.

[48:18] VL: Yeah, as you're, as you're describing it, I like I just keep feeling and seeing the words confidence, and clarity, and it's like a very deep rooted like self confidence and clarity and self and it's cool to be able to almost like you're, you're unlocking this space but you're also. You're also embodying this empowerment within you.

Well this has been a really fascinating conversation. This is so great, it's very different from some of the other guests we've had, and a lot of new tools and techniques that you've shared so I really appreciate you taking the time to to chat with me today. Thank you so much. I'm so happy that we connected and to be here. Absolutely. Me too. So I do have a final segment that I call the rapid fire round, but before we get into that, I wanted you to share, where we can follow you where we can find you and how we can support your business?

Tara McCrory

WEBSITE | https://www.tarabmccrory.com

INSTAGRAM | @tara_mccrory

Book a call HERE

[48:05] RAPID FIRE ROUND

What are you currently reading? OR Favourite book?

Practical Magic by Alice Hoffman

The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield

What do you love most about being a woman?

TM: My body being in my body being empowered in my body. The movement of my body I know everything about me.

What does “empowerment” mean to you?

TM: It's a great question. Empowerment means to me is to really be confident and at ease, and at one with who you are, where you go in knowing yourself. Empowerment truly for me, energetically sovereign and connected to my deepest sense of being.

What are you currently working toward?

TM: I know that I'm really here to guide people, and having left a very conventional corporate world and started something completely different. I'm really here to guide and show people how to connect in and do that for themselves, and that is what I work towards. Every single day

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E120: Q&A: Personal Development

A new Q&A episode diving into Personal Development. Learn from my examples, and also this week I have questions FOR YOU…

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[00:07] This week’s sponsor of the Women’s Empowerment Podcast is my Healthy Habits Workshop. These are monthly themed workshops that help you go from overwhelm to clarity so you can build healthy lifestyle and essential oil habits and find the routine that works best for you. Each workshop is live, virtual and on the first wednesday of every month.

I am Valerie LaVigne, your Habit Mentor, and I’m on a mission to help you make healthy habits, keep those promises to yourself, and change your life one small change at a time. If you’re interested in learning more, visit https://www.valerielavignelife.com/workshops today.

PART ONE: Questions You’ve asked ME

[3:22] LAURA: How do you keep yourself motivated to keep up with all your routines?

Habit Tracker (download my free Habit Tracker Guide!)
Schedule you habits/goals into your calendar
Get an accountability buddy
Hire a coach/mentor (check out my Mentorship Program here!)
Set milestone prizes/gifts
Have a healthy competition with friends
Share goals + progress to socials

[8:40] KAYLIE: What are your top 3 self-improvement book suggestions?

The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy

The Happiness Advantage by Shawn Achor

Becoming Supernatural by Dr. Joe Dispenza

[11:57] CANDICE: What is your proudest accomplishment?

Buying Exhale Pilates in 2020! www.exhalepilates.ca, instagram @exhalepilates

[16:47] CANDICE: An instance/period of time that you thought was rough but ended up being a blessing and helped guide you to the right path/an important change?

2009: Getting mono and leaving university 

Episode 58: Speak Your Truth with the Throat Chakra

2013: Getting fired from my first yoga job

2016: That time quit my full time teaching gig, left my family, and partner, and I bought a one-way ticket to Guatemala - I had no idea what I was doing and there were some tough times along the trip and during those times it really didn’t make sense to me why I was there

2020: The Pandemic

[23:38] PART TWO: Questions for YOU!

1. Are my current habits and goals aligned with my long-term goals?

2. Are my mental and physical health a priority?

3. Am I surrounded by supportive and empowering people?

4. Am I getting out of my comfort zone enough?

5. What am I afraid of? Why do I think I’m afraid of it?

6. Am I making enough time for play, fun, love, and/or peace?

Ask your questions here and I will answer them in the podcast and/or on instagram @vallavignelife

Download the FREE Habit Tracker Guide

Resource Access

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E119: Forgiveness Rituals

Taking you through five forgiveness rituals you can start to incorporate into your spiritual, mental and emotional practice today…

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Episode Sponsor: Valerie’s Make a Habit Mentorship Program

[1:19] Hi there, welcome back to the women’s empowerment podcast, I am so incredibly grateful for you. It’s been an absolute pleasure these last 100 plus episodes to create and teach and build the show, but it’s YOU that makes this all possible. It’s YOU listening, downloading, subscribing, and sharing the show that supports the growth and the mission of this podcast: to empower women and people all over the world to elevate their health, wealth and happiness.

As our community and audience grows, so do our opportunities. To share and hear more stories, to partner with like-minded companies and sponsorships - and whatever else the abundant future holds! It is all so very exciting to expand!

[2:08] In today’s episode we are going deep under some pretty intense emotional, spiritual, and mental layers: we’re talking all about FORGIVENESS.

The Aquarius in me wants to joke every time I hear the word forgiveness, I think of Anna Ferris in Just Friends when she writes a song about forgiveness and says that “it’s more than saying sorry” It’s a super goofy song she writes, but it’s also very true. Forgiveness is A LOT more than an apology, and today we can unpack it together. 

[2:47] Let’s take a moment to tune inward. If it’s possible for you to close your eyes and take a few deep breaths, becoming more present in the moment. Place a hand on your belly and a hand on your heart centre. As you breathe here in this space I want you to think about the word forgiveness. 

You can imagine that it is spelled out in front of you, or visualize yourself writing it down in your mind. As you breathe into this word, notice how your body feels, what other feelings, thoughts, words, or pictures may come to you. 

There are no right or wrong answers to this exercise. 

Take a few more breaths, connecting to the word, and the sensations you might be experiencing. If you aren’t noticing anything, this might be an exercise to do for a little longer. You can pause the episode and continue or come back to this mindful space later in your day.

Now right down, or record what you experienced. 

Perhaps you thought about someone you need to forgive. Maybe that person is you?

Maybe you envisioned a past experience where you forgave someone, or someone forgave you?

Or maybe you felt pain from a past hurt/situation.

And perhaps it was something completely different. 

In his book Spiritually Sassy, Sah D’Simone, says “Forgiveness is something you will be carrying around in your spiritual fanny pack.”

Which means, forgiveness is ongoing, and can be part of our spiritual growth and practice. 

[4:33] Before we talk about how we can forgive, I feel it’s important to outline what forgiveness is and is not…

Forgiveness is not effortless.

Forgiveness is often a process. A process that requires uncovering emotions, remembering situations, and deep healing. 

Forgiveness is not forgetting our past.

It can be revisiting traumatic or hurtful events before learning to release them.

Forgiveness is not giving permission to ourselves or others to cause pain.

Forgiveness is not saying what happened is “okay” or is “allowed” but rather acknowledging what the specific situation has brought up for us. How can we grow and find peace and healing to move forward in a new and more intelligent way. How can we improve and do better the next time.

Forgiveness is not numbing our feelings.

Sometimes forgiveness is being right in our feelings. Holding ourselves in the overwhelming emotional waters so to speak. 

Forgiveness is not avoiding the spiritual and emotional work.

It’s DOING the work. All of it. 

Forgiveness is not toxic positivity 

It’s not sugar-coating or replacing something with rainbows and butterflies. It’s recognizing that spirituality is more than love and light. It’s also darkness and pain. It’s about feeling, understanding, connecting and also detaching. 

As you listened to those points, take note of which ones resonated most with you. What can you relate to? What does forgiveness mean to you?

Throughout this episode I will share different forgiveness rituals. They are all unique and will require different tools, amounts of time, and be helpful for different people and situations. These are meant to be suggestions and opportunities for you to try/do something new. As you learn more, notice which ones you are drawn to. 

[7:04] ONE: FORGIVENESS MEDITATION

Come to a comfortable seated position. Close your eyes and visualize yourself seated on a soft  cushion, in a light and bright room. Take several deep breaths, feeling a sense of calm, quiet, and stillness within you. 

Now imagine the person you want to forgive, this could be yourself. Visualize that person entering the room and sitting on a separate cushion in front of you.

As they come to a comfortable stillness, acknowledge the pain, emotions, and/or negative feelings and energy you may be experiencing.

Bring these emotions forward with a few deep breaths, imagining them leaving your body into a formation. It could be a shape, colour, energy, any sort of form that is separate from your body. And imagine this form sitting to the right of you, between you and the person you are forgiving. You have separated the emotions from yourself.

Now ask the person in front of you for forgiveness. Ask them to forgive you for holding on to all the pain, anger, hate, and negative emotions that you have spent precious time feeding, harbouring, and nurturing. 

When you feel ready, allow the person sitting in front of you to accept your message, and forgive you. You can visualize holding hands, hugging, or just sitting comfortably together in your mind. As your words of forgiveness have been exchanged imagine the form of your emotions and feelings begin to dissolve into the earth being cleaned and recycled as new energy.

Allow yourself to be in meditation for as long as you need. When you are ready, come back to the room you are sitting in, and perhaps journal about how you are feeling now, how the experience went for you, and perhaps what you might change or add next time.

Repeat the meditation as necessary.

Now you might be listening to this and thinking, wait a second, I’m supposed to be forgiving people for hurting me? Not asking them for forgiveness? 

But the truth is, and here is where things get complicated, forgiveness is really about ourselves and our own power and energy. 

When we hold onto things, grudges, pain, trauma, negative past experiences, they begin to take physical shape in our bodies. They begin to manifest as physical pain and dis-ease in our bodies. We all know that what has happened in the past can not be undone, it is not in our control. However, there are many things in our control! And one of the most important reminders is that we can control our reactions. We can notice and heal our triggers, we can learn to let go and trust and love again. 

It goes back to what I mentioned early, that forgiveness is ongoing. It’s part of our spiritual practice to learn about your reactions, and our emotions, and how to support and respond to our feelings, without us being overtaken by them. Which can be very detrimental to our health and lead to poor reactions and decisions. 

[11:52] One of the listener questions from Tammy: How do we forgive someone who isn’t sorry?

And after a lot of thought, my response is: we acknowledge that they most likely are in a lot of hurt and pain. They might not be aware of their affect on you/the person they hurt. They might not realize that their pain has been projected. And if they do/did realize, then you KNOW they are in pain and hurting. You know they are struggling. Because deep down in each and every one of us, there is light and love, and compassion. We hurt people when we are feeling hurt. 

Again, it’s not giving them permission, however it’s also not letting them take your power. 

Speaking of power, let’s talk about four powerful elements: Earth, Fire, Air, and Water!

[13:01] TWO: ELEMENT RITUAL FOR FORGIVENESS

For this ritual we will be using different tools to connect with the four elements that will support our forgiveness ritual. The first element is EARTH, for this you will need epsom or sea salt, about 2 cups. The second element is FIRE, for this you will need a candle. Next is AIR, for this you will need a feather, or a bell. Lastly, is WATER, for this you will need a tub filled with warm water. 

This ritual is best done within 2 days of a full moon. Full moons are a wonderful time for releasing old feelings that no longer serve us.

Start by drawing the bath. Notice the water filling the tub. Let this process be slow and silent, not rushing around trying to do other things while this ritual takes place. It starts when you gather your supplies and turn on the tub.

Next, light the candle and place it on one corner of the tub. In the opposite corner place the bell/feather. Once the tub has filled, create a circle of salt inside the basin, sprinkling the salt in the water. When you feel ready, enter the tub. 

While you are resting in the tub, slow down your breathing, close your eyes if it serves you. Imagine and feel your breath moving throughout your body and creating space. Imagine it collecting any feelings of staleness, stagation, pain, or hurt, and releasing those feelings through the nostrils. As you soak in the water, visualise the salt and water pulling out any toxic energy from your skin and joints, in the tight spaces the breath doesn’t seem to reach right away. 

When you feel ready, cup the water in your hands and begin to pour the water over yourself/ Covering your face, neck, shoulders, head and entire body with water. Imagine this water washing away all your feelings of pain as they surface. Acknowledging them, and then releasing them. Think of the person or people, or situations that have hurt you; the ones you want to forgive. As the memories and feelings come up, acknowledge, release, repeat. 

Bring your hands to your heart and say, “I forgive you” forgiving yourself now. Repeat as needed. When you are ready, take a deep breath and submerge into the water, as you come up out of the water feel how the water drips off of you, cleansing your body and imagine the pain and sadness you were holding onto also releasing and letting go into the tub. Completely come out of the tub, wrap yourself and hold yourself in a soft towel. Watch the water wash away in the drain, along with any last bit of your negativity and emotions. Blow out the candle. 

Sometimes using tangible materials like water, can be a physical reminder of the “invisible” work that is being done. It’s a tool for us to connect with the element and also the spiritual practice and emotional release. You might need a few more full moon element baths to completely release, however this is a great, and peaceful place to start. 

[17:07] Olivia said that when it comes to forgiveness she struggles with “letting go.” Haven’t we all! However when we start to see forgiveness as a release of our pain, and as we start to cleanse this and take back our power, we can recognize that it is not about the other person, and hasn’t really been part of the other person - it has ALWAYS been about ourselves. 

It’s about freeing ourselves; truly liberating ourselves from being trapped in those moments of time where we were most hurt and in pain.

When we let go, when we release the hurt, we are making space for our light again, we are making space for our power to shine. 

If you listen to the show often you’ll know that I love working with essential oils, and I often bring them into my baths, and rituals. I didn’t include them in the second ritual because I wanted to talk about them in their own practice. 

I work with doTERRA essential oils and blends and my personal practice with them has become very intuitive. I am drawn to an oil or an oil blend and then I use it on my body intuitively. After smelling it and placing it in my diffuser or body, I look up the meaning of the oil and I learn that my body just KNEW, it somehow knew exactly what it needed in that moment.

[18:52] THREE: ESSENTIAL OILS FOR FORGIVENESS

First and foremost, the number one essential oil blend I recommend is doTERRA’s Forgive, aka the Renewing Blend. This blend has spruce, bergamot, arborvitae, tyme, citronella, myrrh, juniper berry, and more in it! It’s earthy, yet bright. It’s grounded, yet buoyant. I love using this roller on my sternum for renewing my heart space, or on my feet for deep grounding and peace. 

If you don’t have this oil at home, I want you to use whichever oil comes to you; whatever you are called to.

I’m going to use Forgive blend in this ritual, however I want you to use whatever you need right now - and this can change the next time you do this ritual.

First, open the bottle of your oil/blend, and put 1-2 drops on your hands (dilute if necessary). Close your eyes and take 3 deep breaths from your palms.

Next, move the palms up the face toward the head, and down the back of the head, neck, around the shoulders, down the chest, belly, around the sides of the hips, low back, and glutes, down and around the legs knees, and all the way down to the toes. Sweeping the entire body with the hands. Make sure to sweep opposite arms as well. Once the whole body has been “swept” place the hands over the heart. 

Breathe into the heart space. If you need to apply more oils to your hands, or if you want to diffuse the oils you may do so.

As well if movement feels necessary to you in this moment, move freely, allowing your hands, hips and body to move in dance or a sway; make this as intuitive as possible. Allow yourself to be FREE!

As you breathe, move, smell, and feel, recognize the people you are forgiving, the situations you are remembering, the emotions you are recognizing and releasing. 

Allowing yourself to freely move your body, in addition to the emotional support of the essential oils, can help with bringing up the toxic emotions, processing them, and also letting them go.

Buy essential oils at wholesale price here!
5ml = pure blend, great for diffuser
10ml = roller bottle, great for topical use

E118: Emotions & Essential Oils

Freedom in Forgiveness Diffuser Blend
4 drops Grapefruit
3 drops Lavender
3 drops Jasmine
1 drop Sandalwood

[22:00] FOUR: FORGIVENESS LETTER

A forgiveness letter is pretty much exactly what it sounds like: it’s a letter you’re writing, and the recipient is the person you want/need to forgive. I always recommend starting with yourself. However, you can choose to write the letter to whomever you wish.

Start with addressing the letter to the person you want to forgive. Then write and complete the following sentence: Today I forgive [myself] for… In order to move on, I acknowledge that I was wrong in how I [reacted to a situation, held onto unhealthy feelings, kept replaying negative events of the past, said or thought mean things about another person, etc.] I deserve forgiveness because…”

Pause for a second, I almost didn’t include this because I want it to be clear that everyone deserves forgiveness including YOU. Do not skip this step.

FInally, finish the letter with “In the future, if I am faced with a similar situation/decision, I will…” then sign the letter.

Once you have written + signed the letter, tear it up or crumple it up, and then burn or bury the letter. This brings in the earth element for healing, or if you burn the paper it brings in the fire element for transformation. You could also bury the ashes if you wanted, for both transformation and healing power. 

[23:50] FIVE: CHORD CUTTING

A few months ago I shared a quote on instagram @vallavignelife. The quote reads: Why would you be sad? You lost someone who didn’t love you. But they lost someone who loved them.”

When I first read it, this quote hit me like a punch to the gut and I felt “cords” of past relationships snap away.⁣

Just like that. Cut. Gone. Buh-bye. Au Revoir. Done.⁣

I’m speaking of “energetic cords” which are attachments formed through relationships and interactions with others.⁣ Positive, and negative relationships. 

The deeper the relationship, the more intense/tight/thick the cord; and probably the more complex to sever. ⁣

The cord is not bad, unless the cord is holding negative energy. This could be from someone you are judging, resenting, need to forgive, or let go of completely.⁣

Typically we cut energetic cords of the people who are negative or who are not in our lives any more (i.e. ex’s, former friends, people who burnt bridges, people we are forgiving etc.) ⁣

And sometimes we cut energetic cords of people we want in our lives but need to clear some overwhelming energy and create healthy boundaries with.⁣

Step One: Sit comfortably with your eyes closed. Take several deep and meditative breaths.

⁣

Step Two: Invite Archangel Michael, the protector, a powerful angelic being who carries a huge golden sword.  ⁣

⁣

Step Three: Imagine the cords and the people they are connected to. Then ask Archangel Michael to cut the cords for you saying, “I ask you to cut these cords now.” 

⁣

Step Four: Notice the lightness you feel; the weightlessness. Feel peace within you and a deep sense of support. 

⁣

Practice this mediation daily until you feel free of the negative energetic cords. You may need to repeat in the future too.

So there you have it, five powerful rituals for forgiveness and healing. You can add each of these, or your favourite ones to your “spiritual fanny pack.”

Let’s connect on instagram @vallavignelife

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E116: Taking Aligned Action to Manifest Success with Cheryl Sutherland

Cheryl Sutherland, Cheryl is a transformational speaker business strategist and founder of please notes. A for purpose company and affirmation Feld products creator Cheryl felt restless and underwhelmed at her nine to five…

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[00:28] Valerie LaVigne: Welcome to the women's empowerment podcast today I'm really excited because I get to introduce you to our special guest, Cheryl Sutherland, Cheryl is a transformational speaker business strategist and founder of please notes. A for purpose company and affirmation Feld products creator Cheryl felt restless and underwhelmed at her nine to five.

After spending over 1400 hours in learning and facilitating personal development coaching and reigniting her inner creativity, Cheryl created a company that inspires women to step into their own power by building confidence clarity and creativity as a woman's empowerment expert, author and entrepreneur, Sheryl Sutherland and please notes have been featured in instyle Huffington Post Forbes, Fast Company, American Express open forum thrive global Britain co travel and more.

And on podcasts, such as the creative Empire, I love success. nofilter with Phil Palin, and more, including now the women's empowerment podcast resides between Los Angeles and Toronto, Ontario and again, Cheryl I was so excited to have you here I feel like this was just the right timing and we came together in this really powerful way through the make lemonade community in a very strange time, but what I love about this whole thing is that it's become this kind of organic serendipitous little like no we're talking about little adventure that we've, we've been on together.

Cheryl Sutherland: Yeah, it's been so so delicious and I'm super excited to be here with you today.

VL: Thank you. Well, I was doing a little bit more research on you and kind of getting to know. But what I really discovered I was looking for the juiciness, but I really discovered was that you're like a fairy godmother. you just like pull all these magical things out of people and you're like this is who you are and you fold up this mirror for people and you are like confirming and affirming. They're, like, they are light, I guess you could say so. I was just thinking like, oh my god I feel like she just like their buddy Bobby boobs into, into people's lives and like creates this magic. And speaking of magic your, your products are absolutely stunning and pleasing.

CS: I think that might be the next tattoo I get is booty bump. And then just put it on my left butt cheek. because I am quite magical let's let's be real.

VL: Oh my gosh, that's amazing. I love it, I love it, love it. I've never actually I don't know if I've inspired anyone to get a tattoo before so this might be a first.

Well I'm also really excited to have you on the show because, as I read in your bio you are an expert in women's empowerment and what better place to talk about that than on the women's empowerment show. So I really would like to learn a little bit more about what you share and how you you serve your community.

[3:33] CS: Oh my god, I love this so thank you again for having me on. Perfect timing as per always, and I mean I guess I am a fairy godmother I'm just gonna take that, because I'm all about helping you become your favorite version of you, and whatever that means to you because everybody's got something different. Some people really want to be an amazing parent some people their version of success is to, you know, have an amazing company or, you know, be able to support, like kids in a certain way that they feel like is super important.

And I feel like the more that we allow people to step into their zone of genius and really do those things, follow their curiosity and believe in themselves. That's how we get the ingenuity that we desire that's how we, you know, create the advances, not only in technology, but in society as a whole, like, really allowing for us to move forward and to be better and to be even more successful more fulfilled than we were before. As you had indicated before I have this amazing line of affirmation for both goods and that was my first step into that space.

Because I really wanted it to be about the individual like for them to be able to have the tools that they needed to move forward to really delve in deep to really discover who they were, what their passions were etc etc. And then, I've kind of expanded since then so of course I've got like the guided journals, which included like clarity dream manifestation and gratitude. And I've made it in such a way that it's comfortable.

And if it's not fun if it's not easy why I do it right. And then of course I've got the additional goods like we already held the water bottle labels the enamel pins as continual reminders of who you really are and what you want to create.

From there I've expanded into more bits like doing more workshops doing more speaking doing more facilitation. Because the thing that I've noticed is that people will get really excited get themselves a journal and be like, I'm going to change things in my life, and then get stuck so in me being able to provide not only like a service of saying, okay, here are some different journaling tools here are some different techniques. Let's do this together right now, it really allows us to start creating that inertia, start creating that momentum, increase the change that they really want to have in their lives.

[6:16] VL: That is incredible and I feel like, as you're explaining this, it really becomes clear that there there is a gap in this type of field like that personal development. The journaling, all of that fun and pretty amazing. You know that like inspirational stationery, it's all wonderful but if you're not using it and you're not putting it into practice or not taking action then you're not going to see those results you're not going to see that growth.

So, I love that you have kind of evolved in this way to to offer these workshops to go that little extra bit in really supporting your community, and not just like selling a product. So I think that's really powerful. Can you tell us a little bit more about how you kind of started these notes because I know you said you started in your nine to five job and then you're getting and also this all into this personal development, did you see that gap as well like how did you. How'd you get to where you are now.

[7:11] CS: So I always say My life is either going to be a Lifetime movie, or people won't be like this show so to make the longest story short, I was born and raised in Calgary, Alberta shout out Stan Peters, and I got involved in personal growth at a really complicated time in my life I had just seen the dissolution of a horrific relationship and then a lot of other relationships decided to leave my life at the same time. And then so that's when I got into personal growth because I knew I was ready to let something new come in and anything had to be better than this and what I discovered was so much better than anything I really discovered.

And really, whatever I thought it could be, and then going and continuing that journey, I had decided that I was going to move to California, because why not write. I'm really big into manifestation I've been manifesting things for years without even knowing. And then when I got clear that that was happening within 24 to 48 hours I ended up getting two job offers and they took one and then six months later, I mean they trucked on down drove down.

And then I worked for a couple different companies which was really great because both of them were led by female entrepreneurs and I can really see that day to day difference in how you feel when you have like high EQ would you feel when you feel like the results that you get when you feel abundant, the results that you get when you are coming from that space of joy and love versus restriction lack etc etc. And then in being able to work for these two companies I was able to see what to do and then what not to do and then again that's very big gap that was in the market, not necessarily something that I was like, Oh, I need to build products with but like really noticing. There's a tangible shift in people's results when they feel good about themselves when they're confident in themselves.

And I guess perhaps even then that's when the seed was planted to really support female entrepreneurs, or entrepreneurs period, because they're not getting that support from their HR like we're not having someone saying hey you're doing a good job or I feel one to 10 like you get a raise right it's just us out here in the streets with our processes.

Right. And then from there. I've reached a point with that second company where I was like, Okay, I know that if I leave here, and I just attempt to get another job. I'm still gonna feel the same level of emptiness because I know that I'm ready to create something that I'm really in love with that really supports people in the way that I want to support them, and something that makes me feel excited like I'm actually doing something I'm creating some sort of difference. And that, at that point, again I had no idea what that was, however, whenever I create room for the universe to jump in.

Honestly the most amazing things happen so I ended up quitting that job. And just spend some time with myself just doing a lot of journaling, going back into personal development magic and working with affirmations really getting into an amplifying my practice, and then that's when that idea came in was really to surround myself with affirmations because I noticed the huge difference in myself, because I had been pouring so much into these different companies I didn't know who I was. I didn't know what I was in love with.

I didn't know what was important to Cheryl, and so in taking that time to pour into myself and boost my self esteem boost my self confidence and, you know, got clear on the ground that I wanted to stand on. Then I was able to allow that idea to come in and then say hey I can actually do this. I think that's something that a lot of people go through, they'll get like a really great idea.

And then the first thing that they have is like, Oh, I can't do it because of X, Y and Z and we pummeled to the ground. However, if you're able to create that sort of fertile ground, and really take care of that. Like take care of your mental space. When you do have an idea, then you can actually support it and allow it to grow.

So with that it was the stickiness of my first item, and it was really like again surrounding myself with all these affirmations because I noticed how quickly we forget who we really are how capable we really are how deserving we really are and that life is supposed to be fun and it's supposed to be great for us right so really taking the time to reprogram and then from the sticky notes. I ended up going to do the, the journals and then migrated into all these other bits because I noticed that, again, like there's just so many different ways that you can choose to integrate affirmations in your life, and it's all about that repetitive like you have to the repetition is the thing that really allows you to change your habit of thought.

So, if you're not continually seeing these things, then you're not going to change the way you think. So when it hits you, the journals they were amazing, but you're probably gonna leave them at home. So what about having like a mirror to cows What about having a water bottle labels, you're going to the gym or wearing like an enamel pin yearly in your meeting and creating these sorts of things. And then from there again like as we talked about like really making sure that people have the tangible, tools, and then the support to actually start implementing these things. And, and I feel like when it comes to business. Personal like it's the biggest personal growth thing ever and anybody that started a business like you.

Right. And it really comes down to the fact that me starting this business, actually has allowed me to grow in such a delicious way, in a way that I couldn't have done by myself through whatever courses through whatever workshops, and it really has allowed me to step into my zone of genius and the place that I really love playing that I can give the most value in a place where I feel like I'm operating at my highest self, and therefore, really creating the changes that I want to create more.

[13:25] VL: Oh my goodness, I feel like that was just the perfect spot for a mic drop.

So, first of all, I want to congratulate you for just really coming to that realization of this isn't for me and who is me and how can I learn more about this person, and the person that I want to be and that's what's really cool about personal development because I've been, you know, doing the same type of work that you've been doing and really understanding myself and figuring out who the best person of me is so that I can serve my community better.

And so it's cool to, to hear kind of that journey for you, and we always talk about manifestation on the podcast too so I'm really excited I want to circle back to that in a minute. You mentioned EQ and for some people who don't know what that is it's emotional intelligence which is a huge part of personal development and of life.

And absolutely starting a business is, is a great way to dive into and take action in personal development my friend says that being an entrepreneur is personal development paycheck.

CS: So there you go, sometimes yeah sometimes.

VL: Sometimes you find your hair and your hands.

CS: But yeah, I love that it started with the sticky notes. Do you have a sticky note with you What does it have participant course I use all of my stuff I feel like Hair Club for men I'm not only the owner I am a, I'm a member too but. So, I wish you could see behind me but I'm not going to pivot my thing. But yeah, so this is what the sticky notes look like, and the original ones that used to have a different affirmation on every single page with a different image. Now the tricky part was that people love them so much that they didn't want to use them. And I was like, yo, if you like my company, buy more sticky notes yeah gotta use them, and then so I actually changed the design ever so slightly so now they come in a pack of three, and each three packs there's there's three different, I guess, what are they called three different color schemes, right, so we've got the pink which is the cheeky and this falls into the majority of like the additional thing, so it's more messages that are like playful and sarcastic so if you're taking notes you have messages like I'm a gift of the world gets a bad rap, I'm amazing at everything and anything that I do, I am legendary etc etc. The blue is war messages of calm so if you're dealing with a lot of anxiety or like you know you're feeling like you would like to top up the amount of love that you have messages like life loves me I'm living a joyful life. I'm so excited to, and then with the golden black collection The Confident collection that really gets into abundance that gets into competence I get into courage messages like everything I touch turns to gold messages like I'm ambitious and abundant, or I only manifest greatness in my life like those are the things that really allow you to build that level of, I guess, confidence as well or EQ and like really allow you to expand into all of you. So depending on what you're going through your journey on what you choose to work on, you know, you might be gravitating to one set of messages versus the other. Or you might want to just talk yourself up on all sides it's really up to you.

[16:57] VL: That sound fun. Okay so manifestation. Something that I learned about you is, and you kind of shared a teeny bit of this is that you manifested. And you you use manifestation you use journaling, to manifest your business success. Can you break that down at all for us, maybe like take us a little bit behind the scenes, and how we could also do that

STICKY NOTES HERE!

[17:40] CS: For sure so we've got some tangible tips so if you want to listen to this again. you totally can. I mean we've gotten records for you, or you can start writing them down to feel good to you. So the great thing about when it comes to manifestation is it's really about the energy of what you feel right. So when you are looking to apply this specifically to your business you kind of want to be as specific as you can. That feels good, if you feel like you're pushing if you feel like there's resistance than you're actually kind of taking yourself backwards so again, let success feel natural.

Taking yourself backwards, is first everybody's like you need to have a proper business plan right so have that business plan so you know what would be the ideal way you would like to move from point A to point B. If you're like oh I'm going to create a widget and it's going to take over the world, it's just like yeah that's great but how do you want it to. So really getting into stuff like who is your target market. Who is your clientele like Who do you want to buy it, are they buying it for themselves, are they buying it for friends etc etc so you've got that part that's in the business plan. Now we have the opportunity to step into that manifestation journaling part. So when it comes to you getting being like this multimillionaire or creating this delicious huge business, what does that actually look like, what is your day to day.

Who do you talk to where you live, how many employees you have. Do you have a logistic system. are you like really big on social media platform really writing out what this actually looks like. Now, as you're doing so you're gonna notice internally, does this feel good. Are you excited about this, or does this feel like you're forcing it does it feel icky does this feel like kind of like this doesn't really make sense. Pay attention to that. Now, it could be that you have the opportunity to delve into why you have a Glock some people have a block against being successful or having a lot of money or, you know, like, or they have a fear of success or fear of failure like all these things come into play and then by doing that, to discover that it could also be that you're just attempting to make something work that isn't what you, what is in your highest or in your best priorities to actually create and you're going to notice that there's a block there you're going to notice there's a slow down there. And until you have that conversation of is this actually for me or is this something that I feel like I need to do, then you're not going to be able to make that next step and then move through that.

So, let's say for example we've already gotten very very clear that, and I know for myself, that please note is already a multi million dollar business that I have my product shipped all over the world that I get to engage with the most delicious people and I just love the feeling of people purchasing and giving and receiving my goods it just feels so great to see that people really love themselves that are valuing themselves and then also see other people in this way that they deserve the gift of personal growth. Now, also take a look at what you actually want the buyer experience to be like how does that, how does that look like and then also what is your company look like five years down the line, 10 years down the line, how are you growing How are you pivoting really again taking the time to write that out reiterate it to yourself, and then say it to yourself multiple times.

So some people will have like a vision board, some people will have, you know, just like journal it like you've got so many different ways to create that anchor and then when you create an anchor enveloping and relishing the feeling of having what it is you desire is so, so important, because that's the thing that's going to allow it to come into fruition. Now, oftentimes you'll hear with a lot of these like really big athletes that they win, they're like, Oh, you won the championship How does it feel and they're like, Oh, you know like, it feels like it makes sense or it feels natural. Oh look at this person they're so full of themselves. No, they've actually practiced getting the thing that they want so much that it just makes sense for the universe to give it to them therefore they're able to allow it in.

We hear so often about people that win multimillion dollar latos and stuff like that and then 15 minutes later they're broke again. This is because they have not worked on their wealth consciousness and made it so that level of success that they desire is natural. So if it doesn't feel natural then like, It's very difficult to hold on to it. Now, one other thing when it comes to using journaling for your business or for any sort of growth when it comes to your company or, like, your life is what I love to call “post manifestational awareness.”

So this gives you the opportunity to look. Take a look back at what actually happened, especially if it's something that you did not want to happen, and figure out what was the reason behind it, why did this actually occur. So there was actually a show that I did, I was really nervous about doing it I was like no Cheryl this makes sense, it's the next step in your business, etc etc really coming from that space of if I don't do it something bad is gonna happen, aka lack scarcity limitation however I did not know that at the time. Did the show was not great spent like way too much money, and definitely did not make back my investment, and then when I sat down, I was like, Oh, this is why I didn't turn out, because I did not do it from a place of love, or finance or excitement, or happiness. I did it because I thought that I had to, and then also I thought that money was a key to actually allowing my business to grow when it was really about the feeling of it growing and really listening to myself when it came to these things so now I'm able to actually have that conversation and then choose differently and then I noticed when I'm feeling a certain way. That is not what I want to happen. Also if you take a look at something delicious that happened like I was just doing something random and my girlfriend like I was inviting my friend onto clubhouse which is this new social app Hey what's up, and I was like hey do you want to check this out like here's a thing and it was a PR agent that lives in America that I knew from like a hot minute like a long time ago we used to just work in a co working space together. And she was just like, yeah. Oh, and I was actually thinking about you because I actually am doing the holiday gift guide with Ebony and I would love for you to be in there and then we can also have you on like Instagram Live and you can do a little session probably like, okay, that's cool. Because every magazine you like, that's pretty big. And I didn't have to sleep with anyone. I didn't have to do anything. I was just like, yeah, this makes sense like let me just give you this uh this person like.

And it just fell into place for me and really allowing me to step back into the feeling of what actually transpired to allow that to happen. I was in an amazing mood. I was feeling giving, I was like, who could really benefit by having this invite to clubhouse who I actually really like, and then I thought of this girl and she was like hey, Merry Christmas. So really allowing you to notice the feeling that's attached to the things that you are doing so that you can practice, taking action from that, that same feeling of allowing of expansion of happiness and then abundance.

[24:58] VL: Oh my goodness I'm getting like tangley and excited this is so great. So, I love this because I often forget about the power of manifestation, I forget that when I'm reaching a goal I outline all the logistical things I can, I feel like most of the time I think logically and then I'm like, oh yeah but then there's also this magical power of our mindsets. So you mentioned a couple kind of, I guess the word, we could use is like mistakes people make when they're manifesting, is there anything else that people should avoid doing when they're manifesting?

[25:34] CS: Yeah, I definitely think people think that they have to be the catalyst and that was a big problem for myself, my kids, my personality is naturally like a controller personality.

And so I used to having if anything's gonna get done, I have to be the one to do it, which is not conducive to building a multimillion dollar Empire like I have to be able to learn right I'm choosing to be able to learn how to delegate how to give to people and how to also attract amazing people that are operating within their zone of genius, as they're supporting me. And so I think what a lot of people think is okay, what is the end result that I want and how am I going to bring it to fruition and be like, I'm sitting with her I'm deciding I'm sitting with Oprah at her house, eating avocado, this is what's going to happen, or like, you know, I am going to get this next business deal and it's going to be feel so great and to do that, but even in me saying that you can kind of hear the energy behind it and just like are you forcing things like this is not good. So being really general. So if the thing that you want to come into fruition has a lot of energy around it, it's kind of sticky, you're not able to kind of like, you know, jig rejigging around just go general so stuff like you know:

Everything is always falling into place for me

Life loves me

I living in a friendly universe

Things that you can say and feel that they are in fact true like I am secure, you know, you might not be feeling rich but you might feel abundant you like even though you don't have the zeros in the bank account right. You might feel like, you know what I'm secure and safe like that things are things are just delicious today, were like, oh, like I love surprises surprises and the universe continues to surprise me in the most amazing ways and letting that be the thing that you allow to grow for you and then all these other places are gonna fall into place for you too.

[27:26] VL: That's such great advice. I am really glad that you said that because something you mentioned at the beginning of this episode was, you know, when you started your your your personal development journey. You didn't even realize how amazing it was going to be. I think that's what people forget is like, we think, what we want is so great and we think that like this is the goal we're striving for. When really, it's so much bigger than that, like it's so much more amazing and so much more powerful and more incredible. And so I'm really glad that that you gave those those examples, I love them. I'm gonna write them down their own manifesting I'm very excited. So, another key piece to manifesting that you mentioned was the action taking so you're you're following your feelings, and then you're taking actions, and then another action, another action. All of this is leading to, to the goal or like the big picture, and I know a lot of people stop themselves at the action taking piece I know for myself like when I first got into personal development I was reading all the books, until all the books were saying the same thing and I wasn't doing anything to get there, like I wasn't really putting myself out there for. So for some of the people who are listening and new to manifestation, or maybe new to their business?

[28:58] CS: What is some advice to take out action. That's great. So I think that the most important thing is it's not really about action it's about aligned action right so you have to do things that feel really good not because just logically it makes sense. Now, as you start practicing you're going to notice that feeling within your body. Are you afraid to do something or is this actually like a block to not do this, like, is this your intuition, telling you, no.

So I would actually say start practicing a lot with meditation if you don't have a meditation practice, then please do take a look at some whether it's some guided meditations I've got some available on the website, or you can use YouTube or, you know, sitting for five minutes, 10 minutes, 20 minutes at a time, and just connecting because then that's really what's going to allow your intuition you really notice the difference in your intuition versus being trial and error because I mean trial and error is great but it's just like, why. So, as you practice with the aligned action, you're going to be able to know okay like for example when I got a virtual assistant, I was like, ah, but I'm like I know I need to do it, but also like I had a lot of fear but it's just like, Okay, what is this fear this fear is not about the fact that I need this person or this person is amazing at what they do, or that my business will amplify itself as a result of having additional support. It was the fact that I was worried that I wasn't going to be able to consistently pay this person and that might get in trouble with that. Right.

That is not the truth. Because in fact, in me employing this person that I'm going to actually be able to create more streams of income and do it much quicker than if I attempted to do it myself. And I'm not going to be burnt out like everybody's like, Oh, I want to be successful but if all you're doing is hustling and struggling this whole time, then you're never going to be successful because you don't know how to rest in success. You don't know how to rest in that level of achievement and we're so good at pushing ourselves, and having the opportunity to take that step back and just say, Oh, this is what I've created, let me be proud of myself really acknowledge where we're at and that's going to be one of the key things for you to actually be that successful person that you really desire to create that life you want. So, but going back to that when you're taking action really understand like, what is the purpose of this action, and is it pulling and you can feel internally is is pulling you towards the thing that you want or is it kind of like sidetracking or taking you away from it.

Now sometimes the universe will end like you will do it for yourself Take the, the slightly scenic route. However, there was always opportunities for growth and everything that you go through so there's never a wrong thing that you've done it's just like, oh I'm learning right so if you're doing something new. It's not mistakes, it's just learning opportunities. And as long as you actually learn those lessons, then you won't keep repeating it so again. I know a little diatribe but when you're coming down to making decisions really understand the come from, is it coming from your heart is it coming from your head, or from the gut. Does it make sense for you in your business does it feel good.

Does it feel aligned with what you want to create and when you want to serve, and if so then you know just step ahead and step in for.

[32:14] VL: That's perfect. And it really comes back to getting clear about the intention, and getting clear about how you want to feel, which I feel like is a perfect segue into one of your offerings that is an A newer I guess this year, and it's called Create Clarity in Your Calling. Tell us about this. How can we be a part of it?

[32:39] CS: Oh my gosh, okay so basically what I've done is I've taken some of my favorite class is to really support people again in starting to just do the things right but also do it with the extra little sauce like the extra bit of mindfulness like the cheat code I guess is the best way to say it.

Not a cheat code, a legend. There you go. So this particular bundle actually has my journal your way wealthy class, it is basically a modified version of my journal your way to clarity class that one actually has or this one actually has different like four different journaling exercises that you get to practice, and you can continue to put into implementation for yourself so you can understand how to actually get into the process of journaling, how to journal for manifestation how to really take a look at the life that you really want to create and against deep yourself in the feeling of having the thing that you want, so it's easier for the universe to give you the things that you desire, and for you to act in alignment versus in scarcity, right. It also has some additional downloads that you can get so you can actually start practicing with different prompts and stuff as well. And then there's also a amazing money manifestation to really allow you into opening up your money files, kind of changing the way that you feel about money, and then making sure that your money is working for you money is your best friend she's out here just in the streets trying to support you the best way she knows how However, if you don't let her help you. She's not going to be able to really opening that up for you and allow your business to come in.

[34:12] VL:

Cheryl Sutherland

www.cherylsutherland.com

www.pleasenotes.com

instagram: @pleasenotesgoods

[35:13] VL: Rapid Fire Round!

Question One: What are you currently reading? What is your favourite book?

CS: Okay, so if you'd asked me this a little bit ago I would have given you a different number but okay so my favorite book.

The longest one has actually been The Autobiography of a Yogi by Paramahansa Yogananda.

The reason I love this book is it really gets into the life of this man who actually started bringing yoga to the, to the west. However, the thing that I love about it is that he lives in this space of possibilities when he was a child and, like, just imagining walking through like the town that you're in and just seeing all these people like this one guy's a disappearing Yogi. this one guy's a floating Yogi and just like having that sense of magic and possibility around you.

I just finished this other book and which is a one steak sauce is called The Game of Life and How to Play It by Florence Shovel Shin, you can get it on like iBooks or whatever for 99 cents and literally it's talking about the law of attraction how to manifesting, how to ask for that space of like, it is versus like oh can I have this, and it's so honestly it changed the way it's kind of amplified the way in my belief and my knowingness that I can really have what I want the universe is here to deliver it to me.

Question Two: What do you love most about being a woman?

CS: What do I love most about being a woman I mean like I recently just fallen in love with my body because it is hashtag amazing. But I also think one of the things that I love is just being able like that level of emotion that we're able to connect and share with, and it's kind of sad that it's not as emotional like it's not as accepted for men, because I really feel like that would be so delicious but just being able to be with a group of women and be like oh my gosh hey how are you, I love your hair Let's be friends like I love that and authentically like care and connect to one another, really, really quickly while I feel like it might be a little bit more difficult for our male identifying counterpart.

Question Three: What does Empowerment mean to you?

I think it means really it's about being able to stand in all of you, you know, being able to be 100% yourself whether it's your hair, whether it's your clothing, whether it's like the way that you like to pronounce your R's like just allowing you to come and step out and being all of you, and that's actually where we are going to have the most delicious things happen because someone has said yes to themselves.

Question Four: What are you currently working towards?

I would like a snack I'm kind of hungry. No, I'm what am I, I'm currently working towards really allowing myself to have support like I had said before, that's something that I'm really excited to have, and also excited to allow in more ways. And then also, multiple streams of income so making, I used to have this thing where if it wasn't hard, then I wasn't doing enough.

Do you know what I mean like if I wasn't, you know, work if I wasn't struggling, that like the money that I received was not as valuable, and I have I've realized that that is in fact a lie. And that, that I don't have any value in the past to struggle or striving anymore so really allowing it to like me to have the things that I desire and it comes easy and it'd be fun, and it'd be life and continue to grow in that way.

[40:32] VL: I'm so glad you said that that's something that I've been really moving away from also is like my, my family grew up, you know, struggling to get to where they are and putting in that, you know, the elbow grease and the blood and sweat and the tears and you know we did this so you could have this and it's like, Okay, I did doesn't have to be such a struggle and that was hard for me because it almost was like part of my identity, but it was like growing up, learning these things from my parents, and now I'm. It's funny because it's like I'm moving away from the home, and also moving away from like that family mindset. Anyway, I feel like that's a whole other episode we could get into.

[41:00] CS: I hear you on that I mean I know for myself like I'm a first generation Canadian and my parents like God bless them they had to go through so much in order to you know make sure that their family members were taken care of that like you know that we were taken care of, and I'm so proud to say that like my parents are really happy that I'm happy you know they're really happy that I've chosen a different path and like, I think that's an opportunity to actually give to our parents in that way as to, to show them that things can be different, and if we're able to strong enough to stand up on our own and say, this is something we're changing for the family.

Like, I know my mom would not say no if I paid off like a couple of like things for her or like, you know, send some extra money here and there for her, she would not, she would not buy that so I'm excited for that to be what everybody in my family lives from.

VL: Mm hmm. That's amazing. Well congratulations for being that that leader in this new way and this new thought,

CS: Okay, thank you.

VL: Well, like I said before, I feel like you are a fairy godmother to many people including myself You inspire me every day that I see you show up on social media, and I love what you're coming out with I love the ideas of the workshops, I feel like that's something that I really look for is like this product is amazing but I need that deeper connection, I need that next step I need that action so I'm really excited to learn more about your funnel and getting involved with it.

CS: Thank you I receive that and thank you so much for creating the space for people to come and have these conversations, and then also for people to listen and understand that the things that they want that they are not alone, that they are possible to have like things are possible for them to have, and that you don't need to do anything to prove your worth you're already worthy, so go and do the things.

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

Categories

Download the FREE Dream Lifestyle Roadmap

Dream Lifestyle Roadmap

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E114: Embracing Your Inner Wisdom (& Woo!)

Learn how to tap into, trust, and embrace the inner parts of you. This is especially important for personal development, decision making, and attracting more of what you want into your life…

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[00:29] Are you into the woo?
Astrology, Human Design, Chakras, Kabalha, Tarot, Oracle cards, Numerology, etc.

I like to think of these unique tools as an extension of personal development.

[2:30] What is our Inner Wisdom?
The spiritual nudges, gut feelings, inspirational thoughts, intuition, and more.

[3:25] How can we tap into it? 

Through trust and connection comes clarity, and clarity comes with practice.

[10:45] What does embracing it feel like? AND WHERE can we feel our inner wisdom?

[11:28] HUMAN DESIGN: 5 Authorities

BOOK: Human Design Discover the Person You Were Born to Be

#1 Emotions Authority “Be Emotionally Clear”

• Find lasting emotional clarity in spite of the (emotional) storms

• BOOK: Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman 

• Witness your emotions 

• Emotional balance will bring clarity 

• Feel out your senses

#2 Sacral Authority “Follow Your Gut”

• Follow AND TRUST your gut

• This internal guidance system is effective when in response. Which means it is designed to wait until there is a clear response that speaks from the lower belly with uh-huh or uh-uh

• It’s a sensation of being drawn toward or pushed/repelled away

• Respond to a request and then FEEL OUT if this is right for you

#3 Heart Authority “Do What You Want”

• Tune into your heart’s desires!

• It is a direct authority: You might say something lik “I want it, so I’m going to make it happen”

• Once you set your heart on something, your innate drive cannot be stopped

• Your heart is drawing you to, or pulling you away from something

• This is personal, and very powerful, do not be lured by someone else’s heart/passion it must be YOURS

#4 Self Authority “Be True to Yourself”

• When you know, you know

• Subtle and deeply present; this is something only YOU will understand

• Trust the space in your inner sternum, if you have this authority you will feel it

• You might say something like, “I can’t explain it, I just know it!”

• Don’t rush away from this knowing, trust it undeniably!

#5 Outer Authority “Accessing Intelligence”

• This is unique because it does not have a prompt, but instead has an external process that helps you discover your inner truth

• You will weigh, balance, check and double check before making a decision

• This requires PATIENCE + and OPEN VIEW of all situations 

• What’s cool about this authority is that you are able to access everyone else's perspectives, concepts and ideas and turn them into your very own wisdom

• So your decision making relies on others… here’s the best part; or should I say the WOO part: over a period of 29 days. This time period is because it relates to the movements and phases of the moon. 

• Yes, that’s right the lunar cycle plays a very important role here.

• Is this all new to you? Cool, get yourself on google and figure out the lunar phases and start recording them in your calendar. Then when you’re faced with a decision, map out 29 days later and write in your calendar “decision day” For that month, do your research, ask questions, read books, etc.

• Now it might not always be realistic, but if you can make it happen, it is highly recommended.

Not sure which authority you are? I learned all of this from a book: HUMAN DESIGN Discover the Person You Were Born to Be.

Get your human design profile here: www.humandesignforusall.com

[23:00] Using your inner wisdom to make difficult decisions 

Step One: Get calm

1. Breathe

2. Meditate

3. Nature

Step Two: Release force

Step Three: Be patient

[26:38] Essential Oils for Intuition

Oils for Awareness:

• Cilantro

• Align

• Cardamom

• Kumquat

• Black pepper

• Fennel

• Oregano

Oils for Enlightened:

• Frankincense 

• Bergamot 

• Melissa

• Clary sage

• Sandalwood

• Immortelle

• Litsea

• Roman chamomile

• Blue tansy

Clarity Blend

BOOK: I Am Fabulous by Desiree Mangandog

Clarity is an excellent blend for those who struggle with constant confusion especially those who experience “foggy brain.” SOme describe it as a dark cloud in and around the head. The oils in Clarity open up the mind and get rid of the muck that creates low energy. You will be able to hear yourself think, be very present when communicating with others and radiate vibrant energy.

Place drops in a 5ml (or 10ml) roller bottle. Fill the rest with fractionated coconut oil. Apply to the back of the neck, temples and inside of elbow creases.

5 drops Eucalyptus
3 drops Douglas Fir
5 drops Lemon
2 drops Peppermint
1 drop Rosemary
1 drop Melissa
1 drop Wintergreen
3 drops Lemongrass
1 drop Cardamom

[28:37] Journaling about the “Proof”

Observe and be the witness of your past and your experiences so that you can learn from them, when you make decisions from your authority, what happens? When you start to trust your inner wisdom, what happens? Record the evidence that proves you can trust your inner wisdom.

[29:44]  Attracting Abundance

Focusing on attraction means believing you are aligned with the work you are meant to be doing, you are guided to the people you need you. Embrace this and trust this fully. Showing p as your authentic self, is going to attract more authentic people into your life and the people who are on your vibrational level.

TAKE ACTION! Get to know yourself more through whatever YOU feel called too, use human design, journalling, meditation, however YOU FEEL DRAWN or what you feel PULLED TOWARD! Let’s continue the conversation on instagram @vallavignelife

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

Categories

Download the FREE Dream Lifestyle Roadmap

Dream Lifestyle Roadmap

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E111: Create Habits Based on Your Core Values with Deanna Frances

A new spin on core values, and how you can really leverage them this New Years, featuring podcast host; now guest: Deanna Frances…

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[0:29] Valerie LaVigne: You're listening to the women's empowerment podcast. Today I am super excited because I get to welcome Deanna Francis to the show. Deana spent 12 years bouncing around from job to job seeking more fulfillment, looking for purpose, she allowed others opinions and their limiting beliefs to guide her decisions. Deanna knew deep in her soul that she had so much more to offer the world than the confinement of the cubicle walls. Now Deana helps others stop conforming to society's norms, thinking they need to pick just one idea, and have one passion, and master, one thing. She encourages trying things and learning how to move and learning how to move on when they no longer serve you.

Deanna Welcome to the show I'm so excited to have you here. Thanks for having me. I'm excited to dive in and chat with you.

So Deanna and I met kind of through a mutual friend in a previous guest on the show so we were really excited when we started to connect to learn more about each other and how we have very similar values and beliefs.

I'm really excited to have her on the show I feel like Deanna You're such a valuable teacher because you've lived this really cool kind of brave and empowering of life, and I know that we've said a little bit about your, your journey in the intro, and how we kind of get to, to break through the norms right you encourage us to break through those norms and to not have to pick one idea and I feel like, personally, this is something that I struggle with a little bit, so many ideas I've seen many passions for a long time. I really believed that I needed to pick just one.

Do people tell you that all the time?

[2:27] Deanna Frances: You know, I always kind of knew that my brain work differently. I'm in my late 30s. So, like, the Nomad life and the trying different things and having multiple careers wasn't really my, you know, age bracket I think it's more acceptable now in the early 20s and the millennials, But, yeah, for me, I always kind of, I just tried things and when they didn't feel right anymore I moved on and I got a lot of pushback in the corporate world right like my family was okay with it they encouraged my imagination and my curiosity and exploring things but in the, in the work world and in my profession is where I got a lot of pushback and we can dive into that a little bit more but yeah I really do I encourage people to try things and to really listen to that whisper of the curiosity, because it's there for a reason and there's a reason that something strikes your curiosity versus strike, my curiosity, and that's what makes these conversations and society so amazing is because we're not all triggered by the same things, you know.

[3:42] VL: Yes, absolutely I've definitely felt those like polls in those callings and they feel so out of alignment with what I think I should be doing, and I feel like when you think you should be doing something like should is a swear word in my mind. Stop shoulding yourself is what I keep telling people and myself as well. But what I want to know is, when we feel that calling and when it's going against the norms of society or our family. What is it that we can do to really come back into our alignment of what works for us, and not conforming to just society or our family's ideas?

[4:23] DF: I think that is a perfect segway to start talking about core personal values, because those are your guiding principles and when you're not living in alignment with your values and what's important to you, you're gonna feel that resistance, and that shooting on yourself it's funny because I say the same thing I have a whole episode about not shitting on yourself.

I'm right there with you but I think that's when we get that resistance from really feeling like we're stepping into our own and living our truest version of ourselves is when we're going against our core personal values, and just to kind of give you a little background from my corporate life I attended you know multiple seminars and they were always talking about how these companies would have mission statements and core values you know integrity and customer service and all the things and I'm like, what about the people like why aren't they teaching the people how to, how to discover their own personal values because you know that's the basis of everything that we're doing is what's most important to us and it doesn't mean that you know you shun somebody for them having their values, they're just different and that's okay.

[5:41] VL: Yes, I definitely know what you're saying with kind of the big picture is great for the business but it's the people who make the business what it is. So, how do we discover our core values, how do we get that clarity on, on what our core values are?

DF: Yes, so I can provide you with a link to a guide that I have, but I'll walk you through briefly the three steps so I call it 1) Choose 2) Define and 3)Align. And so I have a list of about 100 common and I put that in air quotes common values that people would choose. And so I tell people to spend about three to five minutes, and just go with your gut, your first intuition circle, the words that stand out to you, the ones that you go I cannot imagine my life without that I need that in my life that's extremely important to me, and there's going to be overlap words you know like honesty and trust those are very similar. Right. 

And then the next step is where you combine those overlap words to really define your core values and I tell people to choose between three and five as their guiding principles when they're making decisions. And the cool thing is is you get to define it. So let's say, you know, creativity is a value of yours, I'm gonna have a different definition than you, which is cool. I love that part of it, and then the alignment piece is to start making small decisions based on those three to five values that you've defined for yourself. And once you start using those to make small decisions in your life, like, even your next vacation, which might not be a small decision to somebody, but let's just say a weekend getaway. Start using your core values to decide where you want to go. Who do you want to be with. Why do you want to go? And then once you start using it on those smaller decisions again air quotes, then you start to incorporate them into major decisions like, you know, quitting your job starting a business starting a podcast whatever those, those larger things in your life are.

[7:52] VL: I really, I've never really heard about it in those three steps but I like how you've broken them down. I've definitely seen those lists I know that I've I've I've had those resources on my, my pages and my podcasts as well with this is like a variety of words you can choose, but it's also important to you know to pull from outside of the box write what feels good for us and leaning into that, that feel good feeling.

And then it's true, right because defining creativity for you is definitely going to be different for me and not something that I actually learned this year, one of my core values is adventure. And I'd like to travel and traveling has changed a little bit.

So, instead of you know these big trips or I'm on a plane and I'm leaving the country or the province. I've tried different things in like a local area so my partner and I went through top tracking which I've never done before I don't know if you've dropped it on this, but it's basically like zip lining and tree climbing and rock climbing, and it's like an obstacle course, it was so much fun. And it was like an afternoon that we spent together the two of us. It was tons of adventure tons of laughs like exercise activity all the things, and it was great. 

So I think the definite like the defining piece to those three steps is so important because it also helps us see where we can align, like you said, the core values into our lives and I really like how you said, using not to make smaller decisions, because it is kind of closer to the new year and we're starting to think about goals and resolutions and part of me just wants to like, shake it off if someone says like what are your New Year's resolutions because what even our new year's resolutions, I think we should start a new trend of redefining our core values at the beginning of every year and then aligning them in our daily lives. I feel like we just started something brand new. 

[10:00] DF: We did, and not we should we're going to are going to you cannot meet. And you know I'm gonna I'm gonna circle back real quick on your adventure because I also have adventure, as a core value of mine, which isn't surprising that that's common, you know, for us, but I define it as soaking in wherever you're at so whether that's nature its architecture its food and sitting in the chaos, or sitting in the stillness like all of that is adventure to me and to give you a real life example of how I incorporate adventure into my daily routine. If I have a longer commute than normal.

You know to go see a client or something. I'll pop into a new coffee shop on my way, I'll take a different route than I normally would take I'll stop at, you know a place for a smoothie and just sit there for 20 minutes without my phone and just enjoy everything. And so, to give the listener you know a tangible thing that they can think about themselves is those adventure isn't these big grand, you know airplane trips to another country like you were just mentioning sometimes they are you know smaller adventures with whatever society right now allows us to do so. I'm glad that you mentioned that. And yes, let's talk about this fresh start for the new year with defining the values.

So yeah, I think it's I think it's extremely important to do it every year I actually do I reevaluate my reevaluate mine twice a year. Personally, and I've had the same. I've had three core values, the same for five years, And I've revolved in if that's the right word to say two different ones each time I redo them.

[11:57] VL: That's really cool and I think it's important for people to remember that the core values can change. I know when I first started learning about them I'm like, Well, now my core values are this, but then, last year my core values were this and remember we're humans we're always growing we're always changing, we're always learning, and as we expand our core values are going to expand and change, and we'll, they will re evolve and evolve.

That's really cool and I think it's important for people to remember that the core values can change. I know when I first started learning about them I'm like, Well, now my core values are this, but then, last year my core values were this and remember we're humans we're always growing we're always changing, we're always learning, and as we expand our core values are going to expand and change, and we'll, they will re evolve and evolve.

[12:53] DF: That's a really good question. I don't think I've ever been asked that question and it's it's challenging for me to answer because I know it internally, so I'm going to try to explain it the best way that I can is, I feel like your intuition, are you follows your value system, and you have this guide with you, 24 seven right which is your intuition following your value system and as you mentioned they changed. So, so two habits, as we evolve and we grow. Um, so I think for me, having my values, multiple places throughout my house and just kind of reiterating them throughout the day, helps me keep those habits. So again I'm, I'm a real life example kind of person so personal development is a core value of mine. Now every single morning, I make sure that I do something that is expanding my brain. Now, I've just, I just completed 60 days of meditation five minutes every morning I never thought I would ever call myself a meditator right and here I am, I feel like an expert now.

But that was a habit that I decided to create for my own personal growth and personal development. So, just having that in the forefront of my brain, as I'm going through my day, really helps my habits form to those values, which again are my intuition my intuition told me try this meditation thing again Deanna you haven't been able to do it your practice is kind of sucking. Just try this and so I listened right I listened to that whisper because I quieted all the outside noise. Does that answer the question I know it's kind of a long winded answer.

VL: Yeah, I think that was great I think it was a really great example as well because we're, we're tapping into. Okay. What does that feel good spot where is my intuition leading me, and when you said personal development, I thought of something very different. My intuition took me into reading and books and following those mentors that I always think about. And it's funny because about, I think last year I was really into and very consistent with reading for a long time I would also do podcasts, and then at one point, I just felt like I needed to put the books down, and I needed to stop absorbing that information of what other people were saying, and start taking action for myself. And I actually haven't read. I don't think I've read a book this year. No, that's not true. I don't think I read personal development book this year, which is crazy for me because that would have been. But again, it's not changed for me, and a saturating example of how we can tap into our intuition for people who have a little bit more of like a monkey mind or a little bit restless. What are some other ways that we can tap into our intuition?

[15:58] That is so that's such a good question too because I am the monkey mind I don't know if you're familiar with the inia Graham but I'm a, I'm a seven, which is the enthusiast and it's like, I am on to the next best thing. You know the second my mind can go that way. And so yeah, other ways to calm that monkey mind, I have found journaling is huge. And I'll do a brain dump. Every morning, every single morning I get out whatever was on my mind from that night before. I'll even do like to do list my journaling. I'm not strict on it I just journal. And so that one's big you set aside for meditation. I find that I am able to do walking meditation.

And I don't even know if, if I would call it, meditation, but just getting out in the fresh air and depending on where you live what part of the country or what country you're in. I live in Arizona. So, we have pretty good weather all year round but if I'm just in one of those news I just can't calm my mind, I just go step outside even if I just sit in the sun on my back patio for 10 minutes and just like chill out and I think that's another thing with society and the society norms, it's like if you're not go go go. You're falling behind. You're stagnant. Right. But the more time I give myself to chill to hit the reset and to relax and take time for myself, the more productive I become, and the less monkey mind I am so it's like it's so opposite of what you would think right.

[17:39] VL:It is a little bit especially because we're told about, you know, you have to go You have to be busy like people were busy like a badge. And when I catch myself replying to somebody says hey how's it going, what are you been up to. I and I catch myself saying, I'm so busy, like and I really am very busy, but people are like oh well that's good and I always, I stopped that right then and there is a no it's not really good. I don't like being this busy productive obviously is amazing, but I know that when I'm telling people that like oh I'm really busy or I see my calendar is just like back to back to back. I know that I'm not scheduling in that that reset that self care, those daily habits that help me, align so that I can be a better person so that I can enter my zone of genius so that I can get hold of the things done. And I feel like those are little cues and information from our body, because intuition, for me anyway, isn't just sitting and breathing or walking and feeling calm because I do also have a monkey mind. Sometimes it's just like, really interrupting the day to day, dizziness, right, whether it's like a midday bath, which I think we're going to have today, or a midday walk if you're not someone who is doing that.

Just little things that interrupt that daily habit and then also the noise of other things going on like stop the scroll. You know what I mean?

[19:00] DF: Yeah it is finding that noise and I, I say it's not necessarily the outside voices, it's our internal voices and I think that's my biggest takeaway I just recorded an episode on this on my 60 days that five minutes of meditation which some people might sound so silly but I'm so proud of it like knowing my monkey mind can do it. What I found is that I'm able to stop myself in the middle of a repetitive negative thought. And that to me was like, Whoa, that's what they're all these gurus these meditation gurus are talking about when they say stay in the present moment it's recognizing that thought. And having the the bandwidth to to shift, and to think of something different and saying to yourself like is this serving me, is this going to benefit my relationship, my, you know, professional endeavor whatever it is that you're thinking about And if the answer is like no this isn't benefiting me it's not positive, then you have the ability to change it and I think that that that's just so huge and powerful, but it goes back to what's important to you. Right, it all goes back to those values and. And why do you want to do this and I want to I want to bring something up real quick while it while I'm still on this value thing, you know, going back to like, I don't want to say I don't value my family, because it might sound bad but value family is not a value of mine, but it is for a lot of people that I talked to. So in the morning, if that is a value of yours to circle back how you can like add this to your, your daily routine.

Get up 1015 minutes earlier, wake your kids up 1015 minutes earlier and have breakfast with them. Ask them what they're most excited about for the day. Right. So those are the little things that people aren't really necessarily thinking about they're like, I value my family that means I'm going to work really really freaking hard for my family and to provide and to do all these things and it's like, just back it up a little bit. So as you start this new year and you're laying your foundation just think of things like that like your morning is how you're setting your entire day, which is setting your week and your months and on and on so yeah like figure out what those values are and then start using them on the daily.

[21:37] VL: I love that you, you said foundation because, really, this is an opportunity for us to live out this new year with our core values as that foundation and allowing us to really simplify that, especially in the beginning, especially if this is new to to anyone listening and it's like oh core values I never really thought of this before, or how to implement it.

I would say for myself I want to practice, I'm going to practice this for this new year is that I'm going to lay out my core values. I'm going to create the little daily habits to align with them, but I also want to reevaluate that what's working, what's not working, maybe a couple months in three months in every quarter just kind of like you said you do it twice a year. I wouldn't mind like adding to that habit or stacking the habit. With this new, but this foundation of what I've defined as my adventure, my family, my whatever the habit or the core value is part of me. I love that and congratulations for doing 60 days, non stop of meditation. That is huge.

DF: It really is. Thank you for not for not letting me discount that, because it is it was a big deal for me, because I yeah I've tried for four years I've had insight timer on my phone for probably two or three years and I've used it. 50 times maybe and just haven't been able to stay consistent so yeah yeah that was a big deal and I want to touch on, on, I think I mentioned earlier that I have my values like everywhere I have them plastered everywhere. What I mean by that is like my phone my desktop my laptop, you know my fridge. But I'm glad you said what you just said because even taking one value, a week, let's say, so you get your three to five whatever it is if you have seven that's cool too. Not a big deal, but taking one, and that entire week, focusing on one thing, a day that you're going to incorporate that value into your life.

And do I mean you could do a month of personal development, you could do a day of adventure like whatever is gonna work for you. But experiment that's what's fun about it is it's like it's your definition is your value and you get to incorporate it however you want.

VL: You know, I think that is so great. I'm so glad that you mentioned that and I do have a question about your, your meditation because you said you've tried it several times, what do you think changed. This time, that you were able to stick with it for 60 days?

[24:17] DF: That is a great question. You are so good at this. You are so good at these questions, which is why you're a podcast host. So I got rid of all the pressure. I didn't intend to do it for 60 days. My friend was doing it within site timer with this five minute feature that you could do with three minutes, five minutes whatever you could set the time. And she had done it for 30 days and I thought, huh. I'm just going to do it for seven, because I know myself, I know if I put so much pressure and I tried doing this 30 days. It just feels so restrictive that I give up at day five and I'm like I can't do it. You know I've done that so many times on various things like I can't even tell you. And, yeah, once I let go of the. Alright, I stopped putting the pressure on myself, I should say, is when seven days turned into 14 and I was like oh, I'll just go another seven. So I broke it down into smaller increments.

[25:18] VL: That's so helpful and we're starting to implement an align these core values. What do you think would be some other kind of roadblocks or limiting beliefs or things like that that would hold us back, how can we can we overcome those and we're aligning our core values?

DF: worrying about what other people are gonna think that's a huge one. And if you're listening, and you're thinking already like, oh, what if I put this one thing as my value what's my family gonna think or my co workers or whatever and it's like, the more you show up for yourself and understand what is driving your decisions, big and small, the better you're going to be for those people in your life. So I think that's a major roadblock that people have because I before COVID I would host workshops on exactly what we're talking about is defining and aligning the values. And that was one question like I would give is like, or they would talk about their husband or their significant other like sure I like this or I value this but they don't like that's why they're personal to you, and I recommend people do them for themselves. This guy. You do it your significant other does it, and then you see where there's overlap. And that's what my boyfriend and I did we realize we have so many differences, but we have one that is super important to us and it's an adventure. So that's one roadblock that people have another roadblock is, like you said, I think, is people overcomplicate it, it's like simplify it, you know, um, and I think the guide will really help because I talk about how to use overlap words, there's a lot of people like oh I have like these 20 words and they're also similar What do I do and it's like, pick one. Just pick one and define it, and you can change it in a week if it doesn't feel good. Like you keep going back to that feeling right. It doesn't feel good in a week. You can change it, it's your value that's totally fine.

VL: Yeah, those are really good I'm glad that you mentioned the worrying about what other people think, too, because a lot of the times when we start something new that really lights us up and is in alignment with what feels good for us, what we're actually doing is giving other people permission to do the same. And more often than not, they're inspired by what we're doing, versus threatened by it, or confused by it, or a little bit, they usually people don't think that we're radical for bettering ourselves. I mean, obviously, not everyone is in the same alignment or doesn't have the same core values but it also doesn't have to be a very extreme habit or a very extreme new way that we're living at our lifestyles, it could be like journaling, that's a really private thing that, you know, you're taking your time to journal, no one has to read your journal if you don't want them to. It doesn't have to be like everyone isn't around in the circle journaling together. That's a huge thing. It's a private thing for you to do so. But I think those points are really good because there are so many things in our mind that could hold us back. I know that I like to complicate things for sure. 60 days? Let's do it for a year.

[28:38] DF:Exactly, exactly what I'm talking about I mean you hit the nail on the head, and I in that guide that I'm going to provide the link for and you'll you'll add to the show notes, I'm sure.

I talked about the feelings that you're tying to these values and so, just to touch on that real quick.

I like to, I like to have people think of something that made them mad recently like what pissed you off what frustrated you and where did you feel it in your body, did your shoulders get tired your stomach get a knock your face was all heated up, and then opposite to that, what happened when your husband unloaded the dishwasher without a us gain I mean it's something seems so small, but you felt so good. Where did you feel that you felt light right like your shoulders became less tense your stomach felt good you just felt good. And so as you're going through defining your core values. That's what I want people to tie those values to when I say like imagine your life without this theme, like take adventure away we all kind of had that taken away from us during the beginning of COVID, we found ways to get creative. Right. But if you imagine your life without that theme like, what does that make you feel like and where do you feel that in your body, and then that again going back to using this on the daily on a daily basis is you're trying to get away from the things that make you feel crappy and move towards the things that make you feel good, and that to me is pretty quite the alignment.

[30:16] VL: Yeah, absolutely. Our bodies are really incredible things where they're constantly communicating with us they're constantly giving us information about what's good, what's not good for us. And I feel like when we're so caught up in the mind and we're so caught up, especially the monkey minds. We lose touch with that physical with those physical signals that we're getting all the time. All the time. So I really yeah I'm really glad you said that and I will link the guide. And, as well as your information in the show notes page, which is available at Valerie levine.com forward slash Deanna EAA and so it's really easy to find, for your listeners today. Speaking of finding you. Where can we find you. Where can we follow you, how can we support your business.

[31:07] DF: Thank you. Well, I am most active on Instagram, gave a Facebook of the beginning of 2020, because it was just too much to try to keep, keep track of it all so add lean into curiosity is my handle for Instagram, that's also my podcast. So on there, on my bio there is a link to my website as well. So, one stop shop Instagrams usually the best place.

http://leanintocuriosity.com

[31:33] VL: Amazing. We will include that link too. I feel like today was such a great episode I feel like the entire thing was a one big juicy nugget. It's like one of those. One of those that nesting dolls called. I feel like we opened one juicy nugget. And then the next and then the next and you just keep opening it and it's all these little takeaways.

I feel like we can start, we can start anywhere, especially with just choosing those three to five core values and getting started with this new year. Fresh Start which I feel like everyone needs.

DF: I said that to somebody the other day I was like, Ah, you know we're all looking forward to New Year's like yeah well we were all looking forward to 2022, I was like, stop it. Don't say that.

VL: Just cover your ears La la la la. Oh my god. But you know what, that just I feel like it just brings us back into the present more and more. When we don't over plan or overthink or overlook into too much of the future, when we focus on our core values, but they're going to align us to where we need to be because we're getting into that zone of genius we're getting into our feel good spot and things just open up from there. So, this is a this is a great way to start this new adventure, we'll call it. 

[32:53] DF: Yes. And, and by understanding your values, too, and living in alignment with them you're going to attract the right people at the right time for the right reasons. And that's been my motto through all of this cluster we've all been going through together it's just, okay, this is, this is happening. And everything is happening the way that it's supposed to happen.

RAPID FIRE ROUND

1. What are you currently reading? OR Favourite book?

Danielle Laporte - Desire Map

2. What do you love most about being a woman?

I love having a cycle that I can follow and understanding what's happening to my hormones throughout my cycle, and using that to my advantage, there's times where you're more productive. Because your estrogen is higher, there's times where you're more internal because your estrogen is lower, and I have been obsessed with thinking my cycle for three years now, and I think. Yeah, having the emotions I feel like sometimes as women we're like, taught to kind of push them down and really leaning into those emotions is huge. So, I have a weird answer.

3. What does “empowerment” mean to you?

Giving people, and yourself permission to be authentic.

4. What are you currently working toward?

I am working towards. Six Figure business with multiple revenue streams. And so I recently I think we met, I mentioned this before we hit record I have a podcast management company, and I'm an a consultant and I have the podcast myself. And so I didn't want to put all my eggs in one basket and so that's what I'm working towards I'm working towards really being creative and everything that I do and having these multiple pieces and then tying them all together, I just that excites me.

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E109: Holiday Party! Best of 2020

Hello, welcome back to the women’s empowerment podcast! Today we are having our holiday party!!! And by we I mean me, myself and I hahaha But how cool would it be if we could bring back a few of the guests from 2020 to celebrate the year together? Perhaps next year we can have a collaborative show! Or maybe some of the listeners can pop into the episode! I would love that too!!

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This is our second holiday party and there are a few traditions that we’re going to continue on for the show.

The first is that I always have a holiday beverage when I record. Last year I was drinking a festive kombucha I made. I’m going to link to that episode for you because there are a few tasty recipes I shared.

This year I am drinking a Mistletoe Margarita, and I thought that I made this up but then I realized that other people had this idea too. Here’s the recipe…

Last year’s recipes
www.valerielavignelife.com/59 

MISTLETOE MARGARITA

⅓ Cup Cranberry Juice
2 oz Tequila 
½ oz Lime Juice
1 cup Cubed Ice (more as needed)
Sugared cranberries and fresh mint leaves for garnish 

I like mine on the rocks, but you can blend yours if you like.

1. Rim the glass using a lime and ground himalyan salt (can also use kosher salt, some like to mix with sugar but I like it salty)

2. Blended: Pour all ingredients into a blender, blend until smooth

3. On the Rocks: Add ingredients into a cocktail shaker, shake a few times

4. Pour into glass and garnish

5. Drink up! 

Hopefully you’re listening and joining me with a drink. Maybe a morning coffee, or post workout protein shake. Wherever you are, and whatever you’re drinking… Cheers!

[3:06] Now we don’t just drink on this episode… no no no! We also count down the top 5 episodes of the show this year. So let’s start with the fifth most popular episode [5] Episode 94: Natural Tools for Healthy Habits.

This is a great episode! It’s full of helpful tools, additional resources, AND I’m currently updating the freebie to this episode along with the rest of my website which you will all be able to see very soon! Seriously can’t wait for that.

In this episode I share dōTERRA’s Healthy Habit Collection and how to use the products in the kit. From essential oils to quality supplements, I go through each one. I also give you a list of previous episodes that are all about essential oils and how to incorporate them into your lifestyle.

As you probably already know I love oils SO MUCH, and use them daily! On instagram I share a daily diffuser blend, you can find me @vallavignelife 

Today’s diffuser blend is called

“Santa’s Workshop” 
2 drops Wild Orange
2 drops Peppermint
2 drops Cypress
2 drops dōTERRA’s Holiday Joy blend

A few more diffuser blend recipes:

“O Christmas Tree”
2 drops Siberian FIr
2 drops Wild Orange
2 drops Cinnamon Bark

“Winter Wonderland”
3 drops Peppermint 
2 drops Bergamot
1 drop Cypress

[4:58] The fourth most popular episode of the Women’s Empowerment Podcast is actually a bonus episode with one of the special guests from the show. I was totally blown away by this episode and absolutely loved chatting with and learning from this guest. The episode was... [4] BONUS: The Power of Positivity & Building Social Engagement with Ingrid Deon!

Ingrid is such an inspiration and a wealth of knowledge on social media marketing. I met Ingrid this year in a virtual coworking community with Toronto’s Co-Working Space MAKE LEMONADE. We got to know each other through this community and she was one of the first people from this network to apply for a spot on my show and I’m so glad she did.

Okay, and the beginning of this episode I mentioned how cool I thought it would be to have a collective of people at this holiday party, so I decided to try the next best thing and I reached out to Ingrid to see if she could share her TOP 3 SOCIAL MEDIA TIPS for going into 2021! Here’s what she shared…

TIP #1: Make Use of the Available Features that Exist with Social Media

TIP #2: Humanize Your Company

TIP #3: If You’re Not Using LinkedIn Yet - DO IT!

More about Ingrid + Women’s Empowerment Podcast:
http://valerielavignelife.com/ingrid 

[11:38] Okay the third most popular episode of the year is [3] Episode 102: Choosing Courage Over Fear with Tasha Romanelli. Tasha and I also met through MAKE LEMONADE and we kept virtually crossing paths in different workshops and zoom calls over the spring. Then somehow we found out that we lived only 15-ish minutes away from each other and decided to meet for walks. There are some nice paths and trails near where I live and she brought her dog Mala and we would walk for an hour and talk. A few times I said that our conversations would be amazing for the show and it’s too bad we didn’t record them! 

However, we did eventually record an episode together and it was OMazing as Tasha would say! Now if there is one thing I can tell you about Tasha, it’s that she is a FORCE. She is this beaming light of love, kindness, and spiritual power! 

She shows up very authentically in this episode and brings some really powerful and practical tools for choosing courage over fear, and letting your freak out!

I also reached out to Tasha and asked her if she could share a New Year’s Eve Ritual with us. Here’s what she shared…

HELP YOU MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TO LIFE

#1 Create a Personal Totem 

#2 Create a Dream PIllow

#3 Create a Vision Board

energyiseverything.ca

[20:53] Now the second most popular episode came as a BIT of a surprise for me, but it’s absolutely perfect. It’s [2] Episode 92: An Action Plan for How to Be a Morning Person. I shouldn’t be THAT surprised because I get this question a lot and it’s one of the reasons why I created this episode in the first place. 

Now I really broke things down in this episode. I share the incredible benefits of waking up early. Then I go into detail of how to make it real for you. This includes the DO’s and DON’Ts of your alarm clock, and how to take advantage of all your extra time.

This episode also includes a lot of hot tips so that you can be successful in creating a morning routine, and I walk you through the step-by-step process of making an action plan.

Okay, so it’s a pretty value-packed episode… it’s no wonder it’s the second most popular episode this year! If being a morning person is something you’re working toward then I highly recommend starting with this episode. If you’re ready to go deeper with your morning routines, I’d like to invite you into my upcoming Healthy Habit Workshop: Morning Routines on Wednesday February 3rd, 2021.

You can find the details for this online workshop at WWW.VALERIELAVIGNELIFE.COM/WORKSHOP My goal for you for this workshop is to support you with getting clear and creating an action plan for your morning routine. It’s a virtual group workshop where I will teach you the best ways to build your mornings, plus there’s an opportunity at the end of the workshop to ask questions and get more support that is specific to your goal(s).

If you’re listening to this workshop past the workshop date, no worries! I am hosting healthy habits workshops on the first wednesday every month for 2021 and each month has a new topic! I hope to see you there! You can visit the show notes page to learn more at the workshops page at WWW.VALERIELAVIGNELIFE.COM/WORKSHOP

Now last year I had a list of 21 questions that I wanted to answer every year as a time capsule memory for fun, but this year I’ve decided that it’s not really beneficial to the show. So I will most definitely be doing the 21 questions in my own journaling practice, and they’re very interesting, especially if you’re looking back on them, so I will share the 21 questions with you this year in the show notes page. They are fun, personality-quiz type of questions and it’s pretty interesting to re-listen, or re-read to your own advice sometimes. 

www.valerielavignelife.com/59 < List of Questions

[24:26] And now… our top episode of 2020 was… [1] Episode 81: 5 Tips for Positive Self-Talk this episode was published in the late spring of this year. To be honest, I’m not entirely surprised by this. We’ve all had a HUGE year and this episode more than ever is so flippin important.

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

Categories

Download the FREE Dream Lifestyle Roadmap

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E107: The Holidays are the Boundaries Olympics with Bryn Bamber

Chatting with Bryn Bamber today, who is a mental health professional helping heart centred creative healers help more people and more make more money by healing childhood, shit…

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[00:25] Valerie LaVigne: You're listening to the women's empowerment podcast today. I'm very excited to welcome Bryn to the show. Bryn is a mental health professional helping heart centered creative healers help more people and more make more money by healing childhood, shit. I love that it is such a great elevator pitch. So join me in welcoming Bryn to the show. Welcome.

Bryn Bamber: Thank you so much for having me. I'm excited to chat. 

VL: Yeah, I'm excited to chat with you too. It's been a little while since we've since we've connected so can you tell us a little bit about how you got to be this mental health professional and how you like to be helping people like you do.

[1:16] BB: So I come to mental health, from my own mental health struggles. I'm one of those. Um, I suffered from pretty severe anxiety, and I wasn't even aware but when I was younger, I just thought I was stressed and everyone was stressed, and I had kind of normalized my reality which is a coping mechanism. And so I just didn't, I didn't realize how high my anxiety was at the time. But I started to get some clues when I was 21, years old, and I burnt out of my first job ever so I graduated from university, I got a job I got business cards. I bought a blazer. And in a lot of ways that job was my dream job and I was really excited about it. And what happened was, I made a couple of medium sized mistakes, which happen in any job, but I was really beating myself up about them and I wasn't able to recover. So I went kind of like, pretty deep into perfectionism. I would like editing one email for a whole week, like editing re editing, and eventually got to a point where, I couldn't really do the work, so I burnt out I quit.

And I knew I couldn't return to that like I couldn't just go to a job board and look for another job because I would just look for the exact same job but I really liked the work that I was doing. But I, um, yeah I knew I needed to kind of switch things up so I ended up moving to an ashram yoga retreat and study center. I initially went for a month I extended extended extended ended up living there for two years studying yoga and meditation for two years. Me yoga teacher and then was able to return to the workforce with new tools. The second kind of pivotal moment in my journey was when I was 29, I had started this Mental Health Training Program in core energetics. And as in a class on early childhood trauma.

And I, in that class realized I had all the symptoms. All the symptoms of someone who has suppressed childhood trauma and kind of started to realize that like this was me. So my anxiety started to make a little bit more sense of where it was coming from. And also that awareness allowed me to start to heal it, because before that I didn't really know that I had it. So, um, I finished that training program, and it was pretty life changing for me core energetics was pretty life changing for me at reducing my anxiety, so I'm super passionate about it. Super excited to talk to all your listeners and start to get them the support they need. If they struggle with anxiety.

[4:39] VL: Thank you so much for sharing that story, I didn't realize you're at the ashram for two years, you must have come away with lots of incredible tools. I know I've spent my fair share of time not that much time in yoga institutes and different health care facilities so that's really, really incredible. The, there's so many questions I have.

And I guess I want to tie it all back since we're heading into the holiday season to anxiety around the holidays if we could focus on that a little bit today. What are some of the surface signs, what are some of the signs of feeling anxious or maybe the signs, leading up to burn out during this time of year.

BB: Yeah so everyone's a little bit different and it's important to start to notice yourself and notice what's coming up for you. But anxiety is basically a vibration in the body. So for some people it's like their tasks, some people their neck and shoulders get really sore they're like TMJ flares up when they have anxiety, but basically you don't feel good and for me it's kind of like a high frequency. Um, jittery, kind of feeling in terms of burnout.

I think signs are, you know, not wanting to get out of bed in the morning feeling like a sense of dread about what you have planned for the day. Just feeling tired and sometimes it's.

You're tired and even though it's like things that you would like to do you feel kind of like tired. Another big example is the five of your emotional reactions. So one of the things to talk about in mental health is having a right sized reaction. So, I mean, you obviously see this when someone gets cut off in traffic and they like lose their shit.

When it's like, okay, someone cut you off in traffic. Yes, that's rude, but you don't need to like scream and holler at them. So, if, um, you know, you come home from work, and someone took your parking space, and you burst into tears, or, you know, you're just having a higher, like it's like, of course, if a member of your family passes away and you burst into tears, or you're devastated that's the right size but the big events, but when it's something smaller like, you know, you get into your car and the engine won't start, and you start to panic. It's like, that's a little bit of a too big of a reaction for what's happening so that's definitely a key sign in burnout.

[7:46] VL: I can definitely relate to both of those feelings that generate an anxious, kind of anxiety piece, but also the burnout piece and how they are closely related but they are very different.

I don't think that I'm trying to think about my own experiences right now and how that anxiety kind of shows up for me, and I would agree with the jitters on my side. So, let's, let's focus a little bit more on the anxiety piece. Tell us, when you start to feel this way when we started to notice the signs in our own body, we're not feeling great. Were getting the jitters or feeling that vibrational frequency in our bodies, what can we do?

BB: So, when you're feeling anxiety you're starting to go into fight or flight right your nervous system is kind of ramping up and either flight, it's great. If there is a bear. And that bears chasing you. It's great in these situations that are like high risk and you actually do need to run away, or you need to fight.

Because the blood all goes through your lens and your heartbeat goes faster. And you stop digesting and you stop. If you have any like wounds or illnesses that all you stop healing, because all the energy is going to fight. Tiger or run away.

If there's not a tiger in the room. It's really not helpful, because you get like you're very single pointed focus right you're just like, get away from the tiger. You aren't in your creative brain you are. Problem Solving blank brain. And again, you're not digesting so sometimes if you have digestive issues, it can be related to like being in the fight or flight mode too often. You're not healing if you have a cold your immune system is going to be at top performance which I mean, even more important than ever this year that you try to keep our immune systems, going. So, what you want to do is, the thing is your brain thinks there's a tiger. The reason that you're having this nervous system response is because, you know, for me, sometimes it's an email right like I get an email and it has a certain tone.

And I go into fight or flight, I'm like, Oh, did I do something wrong is this person mad at me, blah blah blah. Um, so what you want to do is you want to bring your nervous system, back to the present moment where there is no tiger.

So some of the things you can do, are just look around, look like, Listen, say, oh, there's a lamp. So there's a window, there's a guitar hanging on my wall in my room here. So you're looking around and what you're doing is you're bringing yourself back to the present moment and you're basically check if there's a tiger. 

Look around. And as you start to look around, you can start to listen what sounds Do you hear are they dangerous sounds you can touch different materials, you know like, I'm touching my sweater here.

You can touch your desk whatever is around you but you're, what you're doing is you're bringing your nervous system back into the present moment. Where, where there is no tiger, if there is a tiger, you want to invite. But that's kind of some of the first steps.

[11:47] VL: Yeah, it's important to have that fight or flight mode when something's life threatening. And we actually chatted about this in a previous episode about finding where you are and becoming more present. And right away realizing that hey there isn't a tiger in the room there isn't a bear in the room, and taking that breath and bringing yourself back to the moment. So, let's say that we catch ourselves in this fight or flight mode feeling with this anxious vibration. They say okay, there's no tiger. There's no Tiger I'm okay. But what if this keeps happening to us what if we keep experiencing this anxiety, how do we go from being that anxious person to being a little bit more calm, on a day to day basis.

BB: So I wouldn't say there's kind of two here. Sometimes, or I guess probably always. Um, if you're a nervous system is a type of nervous system that sends a lot of time in fight or flight there's probably a reason. There's probably some challenging experience that you went through that kind of had a big impact. And so sometimes what's happening when we're going to fight or flight is we're going back our nervous system is going back to that incident. It was challenging for us.

So, it's important to explore the kind of the root cause. Um, I know for me, one of the root causes of anxiety was actually suppressed anger. So, I grew up in a household where anger wasn't allowed passive aggressiveness was allowed like direct anger was not good, so I just put my anger away. And so, a lot of my anxiety, ended up being me being angry, but holding in it.

So, one of, honestly, I think. I don't know if I'm gonna say it's the biggest healing thing that happened to me around my anxiety, but it might be is getting back in touch with my anger and starting to express that starting to send set half healthy boundaries. And so, if you are someone who is a people pleaser and conflict avoidant. This might be you. And part of your healing might be starting to set healthier boundaries because sometimes that anxiety is because, you know, guess there is no Tiger but something is going wrong someone's taking advantage of you, or you're doing something that's training you and, as you start to set those healthy boundaries, it can really help. The other part of it is getting out of fight or flight is like building a muscle. It takes practice, it takes reps. It's like going to the gym. The gym of coming back into a grounded space. And, you know, I gave you some examples of things that can help. And as you practice, you might find other things that you can help that can help you. For me, one of my big triggers is being late.

And so I would often end up on the subway or on a bus, and I, I went to sleep, and my nervous system is at a 100, which is not the right size reaction.

Um, but one of the things that I found just through trying to figure it out, was, if I could find someone, and this is like, I'm slightly embarrassed to say this but it was helpful for me so I'm gonna be embarrassed.

If I could find someone on the bus or the subway, that I was attracted to it would help me come into the present moment, because I would be with that person I'd be like, wow, they're super good looking. and it would bring me out of wherever my brain was, and it would bring me back into them here and now. No one ever taught me that it was just literally, out of, you know, part desperation part, trying to heal that I started to, you know, I guess one thing I want to say is like, even if your listeners start to recognize when your anxiety is peaking like that's a win because awareness is huge. And then once you get aware, then you can start to try these different techniques of looking around that kind of thing. 

Another technique that I find super helpful is exercise, get, like, gets me back into my body back into the present moment. Do I want to exercise when I'm anxious, hell no. Like hard to convince my brain. When I'm in the anxiety, it's hard for me to do anything other than be worried about being late. In that example. But, if I can just like put on a song and dance, or to a wall, sit at the at the wall, like all of these things are going to help. So, it is a commitment, it is a practice. It's not like you do this once, and it's gone and I wish I had a magic pill for all your listeners, but the way that I got through it was like hot hard fought it was like blood sweat and tears to be more grounded. But it's so worth it. Like, I think my anxiety. I think I used to be anxious about 90% of the time and now I'm anxious about 30% of the time. So I have so much of my life back. I have so many hours, where I get to be relaxed or joyful or playful. And so, yes, it is hard work, but to me it's totally worth it.

[18:30] VL: Absolutely. I know exactly how that feels when you're just caught up in your anxiety and a lot of the examples you shared in a lot of the tools you just shared were life on the common the common similarity between them all was that they're all very physical. So whether you're looking for something or you're trying to touch something or you're going to do a physical activity and exercise. It's that earth energy that like grounding you down. 

Yeah, that heaviness of life again bringing myself back here where that jittery anxious feeling is very like whoa like way up, you feel like you're floating or running or doing you're running from the tiger, whereas everything else is a little bit more grounding. And I like when you use the word digest, so it's like you can't digest things we think this is a really interesting part about with, with my anxiety journey anyway that I've been really listening to how other people describe how they're feeling I listened to how people describe their anxiety. And so when they say things like, I feel frozen or, I'm having trouble, like, like because physically you can't look you can't heal you can't digest food but it's interesting to hear what people come up with, because those are huge signs, about what your body is actually going through. So when you're getting an overload of information you say like like oh my gosh this is too much, I can't adjust it also look at what your, your digestive system is going through. Are you backed up in your digestive system. Do you have too much on your plate. Are you, you know what I mean like those every, everyone thinks that they're just like, oh they're phrases, but they're more than that they're information from your body. So, it's, yeah, it's just those little things I've been kind of picking up as you as you were describing them. 

I do want to circle back to healthy boundaries, though, because this is so important, especially around this time of year, with getting more invitations to parties and, you know, thinking that we have to have a gift for every single person that we know. So let's talk a little bit more about healthy boundaries around the holidays, what are some of your, your key tips and and teachings.

[20:24] BB: Yeah, so I think the first step is, look at why don't you set, healthy boundaries. If you're a people pleaser. Are you worried about what your friends are gonna think some of my clients will say something like, oh, but I love everything I do, but I'm just like, totally dead at the end of the day, but everything I'm doing I love, and it's like too much of a good thing kind of like too much on your plate. Like you were just saying is, isn't healthy. And so, it's important to start to look at what stopped, what has historically stopped you from setting healthy boundaries because you can go in with like the rah rah I'm going to set healthy boundaries, but if you're still telling yourself these stories.

And since this is the women's empowerment podcast. I think it's important to say like women are conditioned, not to set healthy boundaries. For me, the word bitch is a woman who has boundaries. A woman who says no. It's like a good thing, but we're socialized to think that we shouldn't have boundaries we shouldn't take care of everyone we should be giving we should be compassionate, and all of these things and one of my favorite quotes ever is you can be a good person, with a kind heart, and still say no.

And the quote is unknown I've googled I've tried to find who who it's attributed to if anyone knows like seriously DM me on Instagram I want to know who wrote, who wrote that quote. But, um, yeah, it's, it's starting to realize like all of the unpaid labor that women often end up doing. So just thinking about the holidays like party planning, who's cooking. It was buying the gifts.

Um, if you're in a heterosexual relationship is it balanced, or are you doing more of the work. And so I think that's kind of the first part of almost the education piece around, like, why don't we, why don't women historically saying no as much why don't we have, as healthy boundaries. Typically, and starting to unpack that.

The next part, I would say, is to, again, like it's the same principle as the anxiety, in the sense that you're building a new muscle.

Or maybe you've been building it for a while. I'm sure some of your listeners have been working on their boundaries. But there's still room for improvement.

So again, taking baby steps taking a two pound weight, if that's where you're at just sending a mini like a mini boundary like. For me, I started setting healthy boundaries.

One of my healthy boundaries was like calling into work sick when I was actually sick. I would like feel guilty about calling in sick. When I was sick. And so, like that, maybe doesn't even seem like a boundary but for me at that stage it was so that's where I had to start. Um, you can do them orally, you can do them over text. I think sometimes people are like, I didn't do it in the moment. I didn't say it in the moment I lost my chance, and it's like, Yes, I think the goal for all of us is to like have perfectly beautiful boundaries in the moment we say exactly what we need and exactly what we're not okay with, but that doesn't.

You know, we make mistakes, we're not perfect. And so you can, you know, say yes to something, and then the next day. Text Your friend and say you know what I thought about it and I am not going to be able to make the pie, or I'm not going to be able to make it at all or, you know what, why don't we just schedule some one on one time with you guys and in January whatever kind of situation is going to be helpful for you. And the other thing like, I want to say is, you're going to make mistake. Sometimes you're going to set a boundary that's too big, it's gigantic. Sometimes you're going to set a boundary that's too small. And that's okay. That's part of building these healthy boundary muscles it's like the same with going to the gym if you have a workout that's not that great, it doesn't mean you just like give up working out completely. And you can actually learn from it, you're like, oh, that was too big of a boundary. And then you can start to find your boundary, sweet spot with different people in different situations. So those are some of the first steps might be like I could talk for hours about.

[25:41] VL: This is so helpful and when I was kind of learning about my own personal boundaries, and what made sense to me. I didn't even realize how much of a people pleaser I was how much of a yes person I was saying yes to everything. And then finding myself at this position where I had just way too much going on. And so, the first place that I started was, I do not work on Sundays. And that was my boundary I do not work on, on Sundays. And it shifted a little bit to. Okay now I don't do split shifts, so I'm either working all morning, or I'm working all night, but I'm not doing both. and it was a it was a really interesting kind of like, I guess evolution of how that the schedule boundary kind of worked for me. And then the other boundary that happened was I was working out in the mornings really early in huntable morning routine. I had just changed a lot recently. 

But my other boundary was okay and I don't start work until 8am I do not work any earlier than 8am. I teach bloodies and do code health coaching so the hours are a little bit funny sometimes. However, it was not going to be any time between before 8am, because my morning routine was solid and I needed that Meantime, and as long as I had that morning workout and I have like this coffee ritual and journaling ritual. I was able to show up as a better person, and when I realized that I'm saying no, because I'm being a better service, when I do these things for myself. 

And that was a really big shift that I had to make in my mind and in myself to say it's okay to say, No, I also read a book I can't remember which book this was, but it was one of a personal development book. And if I remember I'll put it in the show notes. But the book was saying, start by saying no to everything. Before you start saying yes to anything and I was like, are you kidding me What if I can do it. And so, I tried it because I was trying everything at the time I'm like, you know what, let's do an experiment, that's what I kept thinking. And I would say no to every single thing, or I would say, let me think about it as my cousin wanted to reply immediately but I said let me have a think about this, or let me check my schedule before I commit to this. And then I could go back and say, Thanks for your patience. I went on my schedule and you know what, this works great for I thank you for your patience, like to my schedule, and this has not worked for me. And I didn't feel that and most of the time, because not that we're not important human beings like humans are important and it's great but we all live in our own realities, and we think that the world revolves around us sometimes.

I'm just gonna say it. And I was so I was one of those people who believe that I was so nervous that people were not going to like me anymore that I was going to get fired that people weren't going to be my friend if I didn't go to all these parties or girly things.

And what ended up happening. The responses were. Thanks so much for your quick reply. Or, thank you so much for your honesty, or, thank you so much for recognizing and honoring your boundaries, you've just helped me give myself permission to do the same. How empowering, is it to say, I'm showing up for myself. This is my boundary, and I'm honoring it. That just gave someone else, the permission are the sign or the reminder that they can do that to you. Rather than saying yes to everything and then coming at it with a bad attitude right.

[29:15] BB: Yeah, no, I love that. I actually recently wrote on Instagram, about a dance event I went to so I started learning about shadow which is a partner dance kind of similar to salsa. And, um, so I would go to these socials, and whenever anyone asked me to dance, I would say yes because it was new, and I was like, I don't know what I'm doing, how do I, I can't say no I should just, I need to practice of that so I kind of socialized myself to say yes yes yeah. And I remember one night, where I was just like, not having a good time. I was dancing with people I didn't want to dance with, like I wasn't feeling a connection. And so I just flipped the script, and I did exactly what that book recommends, I was like, I'm just gonna say no, because I was like should I go home. 

I was like, I'm not having a good time. And so that, wanting to go home, gave myself permission to just say no and so I just, yeah, again, so I was like no or not right now or, I'm taking a break whatever when anyone asked me, and then I'm one of the Tata dance instructors asked me to dance. And they hold on he was like, Yes, I want to dance with an instructor who like totally can teach me all the things. And I ended up having a great dance. And I guess like the lesson for me from that was, if I had said no to the guy that had asked me like literally 30 seconds before the instructor asked me I wouldn't have had, like, I wouldn't that opportunity probably would have come and gone and I wouldn't have had this amazing experience that really helped me as a dancer and was just fun.

And so that's one of the kind of insights I had about how when you say no, even if there's nothing good at that moment. You never know what's coming.

VL: Yeah, it reminded me of a quote that something along the lines of, if it's not a hell yes, it's a hell no. Or, because these are like fun little reminders right like what feels good for you and if it doesn't feel good when you say no to something that doesn't really feel great, or you're not in alignment with you're making room for something that does. And I think it's important to have that permission, especially for women who feel the need to be perfectionist or to be people pleasers and obviously to get out of that mindset is powerful, but to have these reminders like it's okay if you say no to this it's okay if you don't want to do this today, but you wanted to do it yesterday or you want to do it tomorrow. Being able to stand in your truth and be empowered enough to say this is what I want.

That’s huge.

[32:12] BB:  Yeah. And the other thing that I think women really struggle with is like changing their mind. I can't tell you how many clients have said, but I already said yes. and it's like, and then you thought about it and you changed your mind.

We all have the right. And of course, like yeah you don't want to be flaky you don't want to be the person that's like canceling 20 minutes before it's possible I mean sometimes that does happen we get sick all of a sudden or something comes up and you do have to cancel at the last minute, but I know for me like my intention is to to honor my word. But that doesn't mean like, I'm married to my word, and I'm going to just do whatever the other person wants me to just because I said, So, last week which was not a busy week and then this week I'm feeling overwhelmed.

Like, you have the right to change your mind.

[32:32] VL: So it's interesting that you said that, because we had a. We had a meeting scheduled for Monday this week and now it's Thursday, and I got called into the studio on Monday, and through my head I was thinking, I have 1,000,010 things to do, and most of them were kind of like at home I could kind of do them wherever, whenever, but one of them. one of the things that was really important to me was this this conversation, and I was like I'm just feeling his guilt, but I was like oh my god I'm gonna have to cancel him out to cancel, and I looked at my schedule, I thought, you know what I have a break between my classes where I could fit in this conversation. But when I thought about it, I said to myself, I'm like, you know what, this is not how I want to go into this conversation. I don't want to go into it feeling like my whole schedule just got turned upside down. I'm feeling anxious I have to teach a lot of cold classes I have to be somewhere where I don't like recording the podcast because it's noisy. The space is too big and there's construction outside the studio so I could have technically kept our appointment.

However, I know that. It just wouldn't have been the same energetically and so, you know, I, at first I was like, Oh, I feel so bad about this but then when I reached out to you and you were so understanding thank you so much again for rescheduling with me. I felt so much better and there's just this relief because I knew that I wasn't in the place to be holding space for someone else. So, yeah, and I hate doing that so much, and mostly because, like I appreciate I would rather someone say no to me than say yes and then keep canceling or rescheduling or not showing up. I would just rather you say hey you know what, I can't do this anymore, then toss me around right. Um, but it happened it came up and it happened so I had to do. I had to make a change. 

BB: Yeah. And, you know, this is an example, this doesn't always work out this way. But this is an example where, you know, I have my whole week calendar and I just switch whatever is supposed to do then, with Thursday, I just switched my Monday for Thursday at this time. And to me it's like, no difference and sometimes it is an inconvenience for the other person. Other thing I want to say to all the women is, that's okay. They can have an inconvenient sometime world's not gonna fall apart.

VL:  Yes. That's a very good reminder I think it's hard to hear sometimes but we definitely need to hear it. Well, honestly, I think this was a very helpful conversation that we're having especially around this time of year. And like I said, whether we want to hear it or not, we need to we need to hear the truth. So, before we move into our last part of the show or our last segment, let us know where we can find you where we can follow you and how we can support your business.

[36:15] BB: Yeah, so, um, my name is Brynn Bamber I'm sure you'll spell this all out in the show notes, but I'm on Instagram I'm at Brynn underscore Bamber on LinkedIn I think I'm e Bryn Bamber, um, secret factors my first name is actually Erica but I go by brand. And I'm Facebook I'm brand member. So those are all the places. Um, I'd love to hear from your listeners so if something resonated, or if you have any questions about what we were talking about, feel free to DM me on Instagram or, like, send me a message on Facebook or LinkedIn wherever you are. I'd love to hear like what you loved about the show or what you were confused fine. I can hopefully help. Try to clarify. Um, and the other thing I wanted to offer to your listeners is my anxiety mini training so it's a 10 minute training. And it's a training for when you are anxious. This is something you do. in the moment, when you're feeling anxious.

Um, you'll get a video version and an audio version so you can even like save it to your phones and literally like run into the bathroom and put your earbuds in and listen to it if you're like, at a holiday party and you're losing your ship. Um, but it's basically breathing feeling your body, a whole exercise that my experience, it doesn't always make my anxiety disappear. And this is what my clients say too, but it usually will reduce your anxiety by 50%, or more. So, gives you a little bit of breathing room from that anxiety. If you have to make a decision because sometimes like when we're anxious just because something happened. The aunt showed up at the party that everyone said wasn't going to or. She had COVID four days ago and didn't get tested or whatever the scenario is and like you got to deal with it. This is something that can just reduce your anxiety enough that you can get out of that tunnel vision where it's very hard to make strategic decisions, good decisions, get into a little bit more relaxed place where you can like feel into yourself feel into your intuition and know what you need to do. So you can find it a tiny url.com slash anxiety training and I'm sure we'll put it in the notes as well. 

VL: Absolutely. So it's really easy to find you because it's your name. Okay, rapid fire round, are you ready.

BB: No… I'm ready 

VL: we'll take your breath Okay, inhale. So good. Don't worry, it's not that much pressure. It's just about your favorite things.

[39:42] Question number one. What are you currently reading or what is your favorite book.

BB: I am reading right now My Grandmother's Hands, which is a book about.

It's, it's about the US really but it's about anti black racism, but through the lens of a body psychotherapist. So I'm, I'm a somatic I'm not a psycho therapist, but I'm a mental health practitioner that uses Sati and the author of the book. Also, in that world and so it's a really interesting part of it is like history and statistics and stuff, but a lot of it is about how racism has impacted our nervous systems, how racism has impacted the book is kind of specific it's like talking about white people's nervous systems, black people's nervous systems and police officers nervous system. So it's really interesting i mean he does. There is some criticism of it that he leaves out certain groups, other people of color. But, um, as a starting point, it's really an interesting lens into the world we're living in right now. 

VL: It does sound very interesting. I'm gonna link to that book in the show notes as well. And, question number two is, what do you love most about being a woman?

BB: multiple orgasms.

VL: Okay, I have to be honest, every single I do this with every single guest, and every single answer is completely different and I'm surprised every time and I love it so good. 

BB: You're gonna say every woman says the same. 

VL: I'm sure that we'll start saying, Okay, question number three What does empowerment mean to you.

So I think empowerment is someone who's willing to keep looking at themselves and doing the work and listening to podcasts like this and working on themselves. And so they keep having breakthroughs and with these break through I think you get more power, more access to your, your power that was always yours but that we get confused about sometimes.

BB: For me, it has an association for having some sort of breakthrough. Like, I think the thing that I feel the most alive. All my jobs all the things I've done in my career is like when someone has a breakthrough. And just like, Ah, this is like what I live for.

VL: Question number three: what are you currently working toward?

BB: Man, I guess I'm super passionate about core energetics because it's been so life changing for me. So it really want more people to have access to it so I'm doing a lot of guest interviews on podcast and trying to spread the word writing a memoir about my personal story and struggle with it. And so, I feel like my mission right now is getting this powerful tool into the hands of more people looking at the Godfrey, 

VL: we're gonna have to have you on again for a core energetics demo for sure. However, before you go I do want to say thank you so much again for being part of the show, and for sharing all of this information I know that it's going to be very helpful it's been helpful for me and my attorney in my experience, I know that'll be helpful for the listeners who are tuning in today. And I also want you to know that you are very appreciated, your voice is appreciated, your journey is appreciated. You know a lot of us come, a lot of us healers come from that wounded healer background and it's hard to show up to the parents, and so for you to be doing that for you to be stepping into this, this space and this leadership role and this teacher role, I think is is so empowering to see you, to see you move through these spaces, and you're very much appreciated by, by the people who are watching and following so so keep doing what you're doing, keep shining.

BB: Thanks so much for having me.

LINKS:

Anxiety Mini-Training - tinyurl.com/anxietytraining

Email Bryn - bryn@brynbamber.com

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/bryn_bamber/

LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/bryn-bamber-she-her-902639b4/

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/bryn.bamber.5

The Burnout to Brilliance podcast with Bryn Bamber.

iTunes - https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/burnout-to-brilliance/id1440791565

Everywhere else - anchor.fm/burnout
Website: www.brynbamber.com

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E102: Choosing Courage Over Fear with Tasha Romanelli

Today I am very excited to introduce you to a very special guest, and a great friend of mine, Tasha Tasha is an intuitive healer, with the gift to see and feel energy. To put it plainly, she is a clairvoyant...

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[00:19] VL: With one's permission she lifts the physical veil and sees and feels your energy pinpointing areas within your body, mind, that have energetic blockages likely due to emotional trauma and reprogramming. It is through her practical training as a Reiki Master, and certified meditation teacher that she can help you remove those energetic blocks, doing so in a way that you can relate to connect with and embody so that you can fully step into your higher self raising your vibration to a whole new level, Tasha this path wasn't always clear for her. Since childhood she very her gifts and talents for the fear of being judged and notice, no stranger to being called a weirdo crazy and a freak. She hid behind her in the gifts. It wasn't until she became a mother that she had to live out her truth and quit her six figure career as an award winning art director, to set out on her own spiritual journey. Choosing the path of courage, or fear, she is now letting the world know who she is, unapologetically embracing her frake and redefining the word, as we know it. In hopes to inspire her own children, and others along the way.

Welcome Tasha.

[2:09] TR: Thank you, My God, give me goosebumps. I'm like is that me. Yes, it's me.

VL:It's so powerful like again reading it gave me goosebumps too and being around you is just like. It's such an incredible gift so we've known each other for, I don't know, a few months now, like a super long time but we've been connected over the last little while and we met in person, after we met up originally online. And I know that being around your presence, virtually is obviously very different, like most people's experiences, however being with you in a physical one on one sense, it's just, It's so incredible because you have such a presence and you're really great at holding space for people so I'm really excited to be hosting you on today's show, and I know that we're going to have an incredible episode. But I also want to thank you for your gifts and the time that we share together so far.

TR: Thank you. Yeah, I mean, even though it hasn't been that long. Our souls. We know each other for a long time there is no doubt about that. The minute I knew or, I saw you. And we connected. I was like, my heart needs to be yours. Right. It was just like this cosmic connection and, and I'm grateful for the relationship that we have and that we're building, so thank you and thank you for having me on your show.

[3:49]  VL: Of course I'm really excited. So let's jump right into you. let's learn more about you and your journey to finding your courage and really stepping into that spiritual power, take us from the beginning.

TR: Oh my gosh, where do I begin. There are so many different points in my life where I had to choose courage over fear. Starting at the beginning, how about we go there because I think it's a very important part of my journey, one that I recognize this and acknowledge that has truly helped me become who I am today. Being a young child living in a world of, let's say, rainbows and unicorns and fairies. That is where I lived and existed when I was a little girl. I had an imaginary friend Her name is Brianna and she was this beautiful fairy she had this like flaming red orange hair, and she wore in a braid along like down her side here like over her shoulder. She weren't clean and she was just so flawless like just beautiful. And we're best friends, and we played beautifully together, and she's probably, this was like rainbow bright days like glow worm. This is this is the 80s right is is all of these really fun cool toys that existed back then. And I just love playing with cars. And it wasn't until that my father actually he recognized that I was playing with someone, and question that. And he said, Who are you playing with. And then I looked at him and then I looked at Breanna. And I looked at my dad again, and then I looked at her like in confusion like how do you not see who I am playing with. And before you know it, she was gone. She disappeared, and I was devastated, and that was sort of like my first. I guess realization of connecting with another world that just doesn't exist in our reality in our, you know 4d world. And I was devastated.

From there we didn't move. So I lived in Bolton, Ontario. And then from there we moved into my family's country home and Hillsburg on property, beyond our visit. And, and then from there we moved into my family's country home and I would help her. On Property now having this gift to see beyond our physical. I wouldn't call it that as a child because I had no idea what to see. I transitioned into a place of from rainbows and unicorns to a place of fear, and disarray. The gift that I had really manifested itself into seeing things that I can't even begin to describe. It was horrible. and it was horrifying and it was fearful and.

Well, it made me really question What the heck I'm seeing. And the interesting fact was it wasn't just me. It was my brother, and that sort of validated that what I saw was just a figment of my imagination. What we saw and what we felt was very very real, the land that we lived on from my understanding was an old native burial.

My brother and I, the property that we lived on when we would go out and play we would find arrowheads, and we would bring them home and we would show my mom and my dad and luckily found look at this right. And every time that there would be like a thunderstorm or just really dark because it was always dark we lived out in the woods, basically, and on the property and he would just see things and my brother and I, we would get so freaked out I would hop in the bed with him and I would sleep with him on probably about five years old at this point. And, and we would be so paranoid we would be frozen paralyzed with fear and still to this day I remember saying to him I'm like, did you see that you like. Did you see that. And like yeah I saw that, like was that you, and he's like no it wasn't me, it was you, like no it wasn't me, it was you know like we would trip, each other out because we weren't sure of like what we would, but we just didn't know what we received, and we couldn't believe it. You just couldn't believe it. And I said to him, and I say to him every so often, I say, “Paul” his hame is Paul, “if by any chance I'm on my death bed and it's my time to go, let me tell you, I will be asking you this question, because it has set the path to my journey in this world an dI need to know if I'm not crazy, was it you?” and so every time he says, “no.”

and so it just solidifies exactly what we saw, but that's really the beginning and I was so afraid, and my brother was definitely someone that I can feel safe with and connect with. I made my dad Pedro rainbow in my bedroom, just so like on the wall, so that this way I could feel safe, knowing that, you know, I guess from where I was with rainbows and unicorns with Perry, prior to living there I always felt happy and safe and myself. So I tried to recreate that but it just did not work the land space the energy around the whole place. It was pretty, pretty horrifying. So that was kind of like the, you know, the beginning of things for me and understanding. Oh, well, she was encouraged over fear I guess right but. But that's one big part of it. And then there are other areas of my life where I've had to step into that as well.

I was in my early teenage years, I found myself in a very domestic abusive relationship. Ever since I was a little girl I always had this innate feeling that I have to help heal people. And I would call myself nurse Tasha. So I wanted to actually be a nurse as a little girl. And that could stem from many different reasons that I won't dive into right now, but I always had this feeling of I it's my gift to help heal people and make people happy. make me feel better, making them feel welcome. You know that they're not alone. I guess because I just felt always so scared and alone in my own head. And I wanted others to people. I want other people to feel safe and happy. And so I found this most relationship I got into this relationship actually that became very abusive to me. And when you're in domestic relationship, no one should ever be in domestic abusive relationship. But when you are over a long period of time, you begin to lose yourself. And when you lose yourself, you. You are literally living in fear and you're scared shitless, especially when the other person is very possessive over you, you lose your friends, you become isolated. You, you become fearful because the one that's abusing you is threatening that they will kill themselves if they if you leave them. And so like there was a lot of crap that went down and having you know my life taken from me almost twice, from this person. I don't even know who I was, for those period of times, other than being a scared, scared little girl, and being extremely ashamed for putting myself in the position that I was in. And, and then it was one day that I actually ran for my life, I actually ran for my life. We were sitting in a park, and, and I never told this relate to anyone really. So this is a big thing for me. We were sitting in a park and my partner was playing or playing sports. And I was told to sit on this bench and not move. Well, I did not like being told what to do. And I knew I needed to leave, and being scared. I had to come up with a plan but he couldn't see me. Or find me. And in this park that we were at. I looked at the trees that were in the park. And I kind of counted that I'm like okay there's one tree bear one tree there one tree that maybe if I tree hop and hide behind a tree and kind of take a look to make sure he doesn't see me, maybe I can tree hop my way out of here. And I did that as soon as his back was to me. I got up off the bench, and I ran to one tree kicked over. Okay. The other way so we're good ran to the next tree. Same thing, ran to the next tree, same thing. And then as soon as I kind of got out of the park from tree hop Bay. I ran so fast, like the fastest way that I could ever run. And I did not look back. But of course, as soon as I was running, lo and behold, there was a mutual friend. That was walking their dog, someone that knew him and someone that knew me that we went to school with. And I remember to this day I just looked at him, as I was running. And I said to him, you did not see. And I just kept on going. And I often think like I wonder what the heck he was thinking like, Why is she saying this why it's such a thing you did not see me what the hell does she mean by this. I'm sure I'm not totally confused. But those were my orders, you did not see me. And I remember running and running and running and I'm like, okay, where can we go that people find me. Because I have ran before. And every time, because every time it was. It was a beating. As I read. And so it was just a time where I'm like, Okay, I gotta go somewhere. Where can I go, and then we'll move on to our dollar, and it was like, I need to run to church. I'm gonna run to church. Because if there's any place that I can feel safe. I feel safe there he can't get me there. Because he cannot lay a hand on me because I think God's house, right, like this is my thinking.

I mean I am, I'm baptized so technically I guess I'm a Christian, but just not a practicing one. But that was like the holy grail for me and I ran, and I just like got there and I'm like, please flip into the unlocked sleeve, and I ran and I ran and I ran and opened the doors. Thank you, God, thank you universe Thank you spirit. Thank you. Thank you for having these doors open. And I bring them to the inside the church and I sat down at the Crump view. And then I went on my knees, and I looked up to the stained glass window. And I just say, I am ready.

[15:45] TR: I am ready. I am ready. I am. I can do this but I need her straight. And in exchange, I promise I promise I promise and I promise that I will always be a voice for women who are too free to speak up for themselves, or too afraid to stand in their own power. Let me be that voice for them. Let me be that voice. I am ready. I'm ready for change. And it was as if it like I came begin to describe but it was as if like the light had shined right through the stained glass windows and it was like my, my prayers were answered. And I saw that as a sign, and this was like really truly my awakening moment of like, holy shit, like I haven't been in a real real dark place for the last four years of my life. What the hell have I been doing. I know that I have purpose. I know I have meaning. And I know that I'm supposed to be doing something great with my life. And if I continue on this journey that I'm on. I'm going to be dead before I'm 20. Easy. I'm going to be dead. I know I meant more. So please God answered my prayer. And, and, yeah, I mean, it was like, literally like a light switch from one to the next, and I just literally it was like all this fear energy that I had that was care I was carrying around with me was like being drained out of me like it was just releasing itself. And that light that I saw in the stained glass when they came through the stained glass window was like that's what I was absorbing. 

All this negative horrible fearful energy that I carry with me. And it was filled with light and, and hope and potential to do greatness, and to be great in my life, and to live a life in love, and not fear. And that was really just the epitome of that set the course really have courage over fear for me. If I can get through that. If I can seriously, you know, step out of an a very abusive relationship at a very young age, who I didn't tell a single soul about because I was so ashamed. And so in fear. If I can do that. I can do anything, because I am alive. I am alive and I saved myself. I can do this and I can help other women do the same. So that was a very long winded answer to your question, but I think it's important that you understand, you know bits and pieces of who I am and, you know, since a little girl, it has always been those rainbows and unicorns and fairies, But it has also been very dark. And without the dark, we can't see the light, and knowing that light does exist, gives me hope knowing that whenever I am feeling scared or living my life in fear or seeing others in fear. Either I become the light for them and hold that space for them, so that they have an opportunity to see the potential, and be hopeful that whatever that they're going through whatever that they're suffering, their pain. We can change that we can. We are the light, and if we bleed through our heart. We can do anything.

[20:00]  VL: Wow. I mean, that the stories that you're sharing are incredibly moving and I'm really grateful that you, you are somebody who has the courage to be vulnerable who has the courage to share this really impactful part parts of your life and not a lot of people, even have the courage to talk about events like this, even though they overcame them or they escaped them, or, that's not part of their lives anymore so definitely want to recognize that it was the perfect dancer because it was true and it was authentic and it was just so empowering to hear I think that it's, it's easy for us to discredit how far we've come. But what's really important is being able to recognize that and say, you know, this is where I've come from and this is where I am now, and I'd love to talk about that with you let us know what you're doing now. Where has your, your journey brought you to today?

TR: Well, I've really stepped really back into my connection to myself my higher power. Recognizing that my gifts from spirit from our Creator is something that should not be taken lightly. I do have a gift to see. I feared that for many years because of my experiences. But I also know when I use my gifts. Not only do I save myself from myself. I can help save others. And so, I have made that conscious choice to fully step into my power and let my freak out. And I say freak, because, well, I want to change that word I want to redefine what freak means, or weirdo or you're crazy like these have such negative connotations that are associated with these words, low vibration words. No, I want to embrace my Frank right I want to be different. I want to be. Not like everybody else because I'm not, and knowing that is okay, but also knowing the fact that we are all connected and, but that's what makes us also unique is, we all have our own gifts and talents. And if we can embrace our own for whatever that may be for you and for me, we can come together in in the harmony and imbalance. Right. Isn't that what it's all about right it's like finding balance finding harmony. And, and within that peace. Right.

There's so much suffering out there, and where I want to go and I just where I am now is keep standing in my power to keep standing in my truth to keep sharing my story, to, to encourage or inspire others to be vulnerable to accept what their life is to accept that the pain and the struggles that they're going through are legit. And that when you can accept that then you can identify that and then you can move on. And when you move on you move on with courage with confidence and say yeah that's me. But to do that, you got to recognize those things. And that's where I come in. And my gift to see to see your energy to work with your chakras, and to look within those beautiful flowing energy centers within your body and say here's where you stored shit. Here's where you've been shoving things down underneath the carpet or putting it in a drawer locking the key, and forgetting about it and then allowing that energy to build and then question yourself Why am I suffering because you don't even realize that you put in there.

And if you're an empath like me, you don't even realize when you're picking up other people's junk picking up other people's energy and vibes. And so that's where I am right now I'm helping others by showing the energy back to them holding that energetic mirror to them and showing them where their energy blocks are. And I've trained myself through practices of Reiki because Reiki to me is such a beautiful calming healing modality that is not invasive, it's, it's not intrusive, it's gentle and kind. I mean, you've experienced it for yourself. So you know but for those who are listening and curious about what Reiki is making is tapping into our higher power, its creator energies, like, Universal Life Energy is really what it means. And I'm just a conduit of connecting with that energy, I allow my body to be a conduit. So when I'm sharing my own energy when I'm giving that energy I'm not sharing my own energy. I am a conduit of energy from our Creator, and then I'm helping you to give you that that boost that you're missing to like push out those blocks to shift you. Unlock the shit that you stored. I am the key, I unlock the doors. I lift the veil for you so you can see, and when you see it, that's the identifying  that is the acceptance.

Do you want to be the victim or don't you want to be the victim? In my story I shared with you earlier, I didn't' want to be the victim anymore, I had to come to terms with myself. The is not my life, I know I'm meant for more. As soon as you accept that, you accept what's going on energetically in your body, there is a shift that happens. There is a transformation. and it goes from the dark to the light. and when you're in that light state, you step into your higher self, you step into your power. At least right now. I know there's more for me out there, this is where I am right now.

[26:36]  VL: I have absolutely loved the healing sessions with you. The best reiki I've ever received! I can't even begin to describe my experiences, and I know everyone is different. Part of what I aim to offer the listeners is something tangible, something practical they can do on their own to get them started. I would love it if you could share either tips and tricks, or a guide that we. can use to start today and uncover the energy we need to let our freak out!

TR: Yes of course. Thank you. The first place you want to start is with what you already have. You don't need any special tools. You don't need anything other than what you already have. The first thing I would say for anyone listening who doesn't know where to begin. You have to understand this thinking: the only way out is in. A lot of the time we live our lives in our heads. We time travel, we shift our thoughts into things that don't exist, or haven't happened yet. Or we sit and stew and think about the past. Our mind our ego plays so many tricks with us. The problem for the challenge that we have is when we're in her head, we're not in our body. And our body tells so many stories, if we're willing to listen.

[29:00]  TR: And the best way to do that is to find stillness and how to find stillness. You do that by taking deep breaths, breathing, and being in the present moment. So to be in the present moment, exercise your senses. What did you hear what do you see, what do you taste. What do you feel, what do you smell. Because that is of what is true in that moment of time. So if, for example, where I am right now I'm sitting in a white room, I've got white walls I see a painting behind me I'm learning the color blue. I am hearing my voice. I am looking at you, I can hear the fish tank. I can smell the essential oils, lemon grass. I can taste the coffee that I was just drinking still on the tip of my tongue. All of those things are happening right now in this moment, that is of truth, that is being in stillness.

Now, once you get to that moment of stillness, connect with your breath. And within you. I want you to imagine that from your tailbone, all the way to the top of your throat. There are three compartments in those three different doorways, okay. So starting out your tailbone to your belly button is like one compartment. Then from your belly button to your diaphragm, just below your rib cage is another compartment. And then from your diaphragm to the top of your throat to where your, your neck, your chin is right here is another compartment.

And if you imagine when you taking a deep breath in. You want to open the first compartment and expand your lower abdomen. So you inhale and expand your lower abdomen, continuing to inhale you expand the middle compartment. And then as you continue to inhale, you expand the upper compartment. There are three chambers that you open up and allow the breath to expand. And when you do that, you are tapping into your central nervous system. You are opening up you're giving more space to your organs, your innards, allowing more lung capacity to free. And so, not just the physiology aspect of your body, and opening it up and adding more blood flow into your body. You're resetting your body, but also when you're doing that, you're tuning into the areas within your body that might be carrying energy. And so you take inventory. And so I always say do a count to three so I'm like you're taking a deep breath in one you're unlocking one chamber. Two, you're unlocking the second chamber. Three, you're unlocking that third chamber. You want to do it with me?

[32:00]  VL: Totally I've been doing it this whole time but God intuitively found a block, I'm like, Whoa, right away instantly.

TR: Okay, let's see if somebody's ready. Okay, so first exercise your senses. Tell me, what do you see.

VL: Okay, so I'm also in a room with white walls, and I have a, like a walnut dresser behind me, and I am smelling essential oils also I have some blends on my body right now. And I can feel, be a little bit clammy in my hands. So I can feel a little bit of sweat in my hands. I'm also tasting. The, I had like a lemon water before, such when we first got on. So I'm tasting kind of the end of that. And I'm hearing my voice I'm hearing a little bit of static noise as well. And I just heard a car, drive by outside. And this is what's true and this is what's happening right now.

[33:21]  TR: Now, when you described all of that to me. Would you say that you weren't thinking about anything else other than what you were saying.

VL: Yeah, it was very present.

TR: Exactly, exactly what was happening. So I'm glad to hear that because that is exactly the challenge that we all face. We're so in our heads. Right, for time traveling or going back and forth between right things that don't exist things that have existed, whatever that is baggage. Those are our blocks that gets stuck in the pools of energy throughout your body, the mind really is the core center of everything that we experience right, our perceptions, is our reality. So if the world is feeling, or becoming too hard for you, overbearing and stressful. You're going to carry that with you. Right. And you're going to carry it, but it's going to channel into different parts of your body. So I'm glad that you were able to disconnect from the ego mind and connect with what is happening right here in the present moment. So that in itself is a practice. And it takes time, because our mind will want to wander and it will. and that's okay, but as long as we can start to recognize these things, these patterns that I'm thinking of. Oh, dinner tonight or I'm starving right now or whatever it might be.

As long as we recognize it, and then come back to the present.

Now to help relief, and move and shift that energy. That's where the breath work comes in. So, close your eyes. And I want you to take a deep breath in. And sometimes that helps to put your hands in the different areas as you're breathing on those three chambers. So you can put one hand on your lower abdomen. So you can put one hand on your lower abdomen. Okay and then you can put another one on your upper where your diaphragm is.

And then as your eyes are closed, you take a deep breath and expand into that Lord hand. Inhale, and then inhale keep inhaling into the yeah it's one big long inhale a count of three, so inhale. And then, anyhow keep going second chamber and then you move your other hand and share chest as you continue to inhale three. And how again and three chambers are exhale, sorry.

VL:  It's a big breath.

TR: So I know it's a bit of a practice but basically. Yeah, it's a big breath. Mm hmm. So inhale, 123.

Exhale, 123.

Inhale, 123.

Exhale, 123, so it gets easier. It's a little challenging to scribe, and also feel for people because technically we take very short shallow breaths throughout our days. But when we start to intentionally agree. And if you can imagine that you're unlocking three chambers with breath as you inhale and then exhale, you're releasing, and you're allowing that flowing energy to move through your body.

Right, it's all about the energy. And, yeah, as soon as like you start to know where you are getting the present moment. Take those moments of breath. You immediately feel so much better right after. And it really takes like. Geez three six cents each nine seconds. Not 12 seconds, like 12 seconds, you can't do math, don't know

[37:26]  VL: No judgment. it's so true because it gets you into the present moment and gets you to get into your body, and you really do feel this expansiveness and the first one's a little bit tricky but then as you get into the breath deeper and as you practice it, it becomes more expansive and more inviting and I noticed like, Oh my gosh, I'm clenching my jaw, again I'm like constantly doing this, and I noticed there's like, it feels like a gobstopper like a ball like almost like a pool ball in my throat, right now, which is very I mean I'm not that surprised because this is a major energy center that we've been working on.

But it's something that I didn't really think about earlier today, and it's now becoming a little bit more present in my mind.

But checking into the surroundings and your senses. That's a tool that I practice a lot more when I was struggling with anxiety because you're so trapped in your mind or you can be so trapped in your mind and it's one of the fastest ways to ground and I love what you said that you don't really need anything else you just need herself and you need to bring that awareness into where you are, where you're at. And then using that breath, as the tool that we all have organically innately like we all have the gift of breath or tool of breath, and breath is lifeforce energy so even though people might not think well I'm not clairvoyant and I don't move energy around or shift energy or I don't do Reiki, in a way, you do, because you have this breath, and when you bring that awareness to it and you use it in your own body, it can be really transformative and really powerful so thanks for sharing that.

The three chambers and a free paragraph like that. Also just using the hands on those three different areas. For me, I know that I'm like a tactile kinesthetic learner so to be able to breathe like when you said breathe into your hand, I realized I wasn't really breathing into the lower chamber, as much as I was into the second chamber so getting the rough deeper, just by breathing into my hand, worked so well. Wow, that was great, I love that.

I want to chat a little bit more about navigating the guests. So, I mentioned that maybe a listener is tuning in and thinking, I don't really have the same gifts, but maybe someone else is listening and thinking, Well, I do have those gifts I'm not really sure how to navigate through that. I have a kind of similar story, I guess, or experience as you did as a child, not as intense, or kind of in that darker side length, but I didn't have a sibling who had that same thing as me so I really suppressed, those thoughts and the visions and the feelings and all the different things I just kept pushing it away so I was hoping you can help us navigate a little bit more through that trouble or maybe we can talk about rephrasing of what freak means to you, or how we could we can redefine this and step into that power ourselves.

[40:39]  TR: We all have these gifts.

How we choose to use them is very unique to each person. My gift is to see though I can have a clear voice. But I'm also a clairsentience. I can feel. And so it really comes down to, when you're letting your freak out, it's like, which Claire. Are you exercising, which Claire resonates with you most. So there are four Claire's, there's clairvoyance see which are fantastic open about the gift to see so that sits and lays within your intuition, your third eye. Right. clairsentience, which I had spoken about that fits within your Sacral Chakra, which is your emotional chakra energy.

And you feel, these are people who work, and right, take on other people's energy, you feel it, you feel a plant's energy you feel a fugs energy you feel the world's energy. You feel it. Then you have Claire cognizance and Claire cognizance is this gift of knowing.

I don't know if you've ever met anybody that is so sure of themselves sometimes where they're just like I don't know I just know, I just know it's true. I just know what it. I don't know how to describe it I just know right it is over sense of knowing, then so that sits right in your crown chakra.

And that is that connection to source energy. Then there is the Claire audience and Claire audience is a gift here, and musicians, typically are clear audience, because they hear music before it even exists. And then they create the music. Everyone can choose to you use these gifts in different ways. And so for many years. I use my clairvoyance see as a gift to be an artist. And so I could see things that did not exist in his physical world. But then I would create it in my work, my art. And so that is for I hid for a very very long time. As an artist I became an artist, which is where in my intro, you know, as a six figure art director and award winning artist but that's, that's what I did. I hid behind my art.

So for anyone who is listening. Ask yourself. Are you someone that just know things and kids can't decide like our kitten or doesn't know where how you know things you just know that it's clear competency. Ask yourself. Are you someone who feels immediately. That is Claire sentience.

Ask yourself, do I hear to I hear words do I see words do I hear music like, what is it Do you like what you hear. Is that something that comes to you naturally or are you someone like me who is Claire voyance, who can see. Now, we all have the gift to see and feel and know, in the ear at all times. We can all exercise those, but we have a primary, and we have a secondary go to.

And so there's a fun little like quiz that we can do and we can kind of ask those questions to kind of get clear on meaning what your clear primary and secondary are if you're up to that.

[44:28]  VL: Oh my gosh, yes, let's do it. Okay so much fun.

TR: Okay, so I want you to think about a vacation. If you've ever had a vacation, think about a vacation or time that you've got away from your home. And what is the first thing that you go to, when you think about that occasion.

VL: I am I standing on a black sand beach.

TR: So you saw you literally visually saw that. Right. Yes, what came next.

VL: And my toes are in the sand and I'm moving the sand around with my feet and I can feel that it's warm on the top and underneath, it's a little bit cool.

TR: So then you felt right. Okay, next question. I want you to think of a time in high school. that was like the best day of your life.  

VL: I think I would say probably the best day was during one of our rugby games, and we won. Our rugby game and it was my first year playing rugby for our high school team and my sister was there and my friends were there, and we were just like freaking out and so excited and jumping around and laughing and it was. It was awesome. It was a good day.  

TR: So, what I got out of that is, you saw you felt, and then you heard. So, we can go on and ask many more questions of time traveling back to moments. But it sounds as if you are someone who sees first feels so primary, secondary, and then as a tertiary.

VL: Yeah, I would agree with that because I'm someone who has the most vivid dreams I think I've ever met in any other person. My dreams are incredibly event. And sometimes when my meditation practice is quite strong I can have what some people would label a daydream like a vision in my waking life. I feel like those come in, more often, not more often than when we see things but very strongly like they're easier for me to recognize when I have them, and then the hearing the auditory is interesting because sometimes I also do hear things but it's a lot less. I recognize that a lot less than I do. The seeing and feeling. I like those little photo quizzes

TR: yeah right so here's what's interesting. You need now that you're aware of that right and for your listeners, you know, I hope that you were playing along as well. Because when you start to become clear on where you get your guidance from spirit, our Creator. You can start to tap into that and be mindful of that. And when you are mindful of that you know that you're always trusting what is right and what is real and your truth. That is your true. And when you're not. When you're not for you. When you're not listening you're not sorry, trusting what you see.

And when you're not trusting what you feel. Spirit will screen the heck out of you and will use your treasury of hearing. And, and get your attention, because you're not listening. And then you come back to the beginning. Okay, I need to trust what I see, I need to trust what I feel. Otherwise spirits getting down at me, and I need to know.

[48:44]  VL: Oh my god, like you're calling me out right now because before this. Before this, this call. I had been kind of avoiding something, and I was thinking like, I'm going crazy I'm literally going crazy because I can't get this. I can't shake this feeling. And so funny that you're saying this because, right, as I was admitting to myself that I feel crazy. My ears started ringing.

TR: So take that as a sign that the Spirit is saying you need to check yourself girl. Come back home to self, and to come back home to self is to trust what you see and what you feel, because those are your ways in of letting your freak out right you got to get in to let yourself out. And that is really to me. What's, you know like your freakout means it's like trusting your innate gifts.

But the only way to do that is to go in and to pay attention. Be mindful, so that when life happens as it does, and situations come up for you. You have to check with what you're seeing. First, checking how you're feeling. And then just even listen, what am I hearing, go through the list, and let that be your guide to navigating yourself through life.

VL: You are like you're just hitting the nail on the head. Everything. And like I said, I think we have a lot of similarities or no we have a lot of similarities throughout our life and being able to step into this courage and and speak our truths and be in the air for other women and other people as well. However, I know that I get these questions a lot and so I wanted to bring it up with you, was that.

What if, so the what is like, well, what if I lose relationships. What if people don't like my freak, what if, what, what if other people say bad things about me and just all these different kind of fears or thoughts come up while we're going through this journey because this inward journey, really, is a can be very big and transformative in people's lives and not everyone's on that same journey.

What do we do with all the what ifs, what do we do with, with all those extra limiting beliefs and fears.

TR: Well I think you just said it right there. The keyword that we believe in that. There is a higher power, believe in that the universe has a plan for you. Believe in yourself. When you step into your power. It is amazing. It is really truly powerful and not powerful in the sense of like I'm strong like muscle power or egotistic person no it's not even not, it is when you stand in your truth.

You have to believe and have faith that where you are, is exactly where you need to be, and trust that the universe will provide what is needed for you in this moment. And that's all we can ask for right we cannot predict the future, we cannot change the past. So if we learn to be in the moment. If we learn to accept Okay. Yes, I've lost some friends along the way and it hurts, it comes back to acceptance. When we can accept when we're willing to hold the mirror up to our face, take accountability for anything that we may or may not have done, but also learn to look within self forgiveness, be vulnerable to accept that the term humility. And then just have the courage to keep going.

We are all frequency we are a vibration of energy. And depending on where you are on your journey in life. We will project. Certain vibrations out there. Perhaps you've heard of the term on the same wavelength, or we're not on the same wavelength, think about it as that. So, your energy is vibrating on a certain wavelength. My energy is vibrating on a certain wavelength, and that changes day to day right It all depends on what we're doing what we're picking up and whatever.

And when you're vibrating at a higher frequency, which is why I like to call my session like high vibration healing session. Because when you are in that higher frequency. You are literally letting go of a lot of shit. And that shit can come in terms of people, physical material things, but mostly energetic things. And that's what puts you at a different wavelength. And when you're at that wavelength, people who are at a lower wavelength cannot connect with you, they cannot resonate with you, they cannot relate with you, and vice versa. 

And what ends up happening is you attract people who are at that same wavelength that you are at, which is why our connection is divine timing because our energy was at the same or is at the same wavelength, give or take. Therefore our light matches the same. And we speak the same vibrational language. And we connect and relate. So in relationships with people.

When people drop off, and you're live trust and believe and know that, where you are is exactly where you need to be to come back to it full circle. Because our vibration is at a higher level, and trust and know that greater things are coming your way. Because when you're at that higher frequency possibilities are endless. And you attract the bright people that you need in that moment in your life. But you have to believe in order to receive 

[55:25]  VL: Very eloquently put, and so true. And I know from my own experience, believing and trusting in, courage, it's there all muscles, the way that I look at it and we have to keep training those muscles, we have to keep believing we have to keep trusting, we have to keep finding the courage. Because the more we do, the easier it becomes in the future, the easier saying yes to those big hairy scary goals and trusting the universe, and knowing that you are supported. You are supported and the more you believe that the easier the energy flows and I find to when I'm in those stuck spots when I'm when I feel like I'm hitting my rock bottom. I remind myself. Okay, like exactly what we did today, what's in front of me, what am I seeing, hearing feeling, what can I taste what can I touch. Can I take those deep breaths, can I recenter and ground myself, and remember that at the foundation. I am supported.

Remember that I have the courage and the strength that I need to be here right now because everything that has happened, often to this point in time, has led me here to this problem to this opportunity to this to this moment in time to this conversation. Everything has led us here together. And I don't believe in coincidence. I really don't. I believe in divine timing. And the more I let go of the fear or the need to change your control or predict the more clear. The journey becomes. Which is funny because it's almost like I'm trying so hard to see what's gonna happen next. And the more you let go of that, the more clear and more focus I have the cloud is gone, and the clarity is there.

And it reminds me actually of this really incredible quote, Steve Jobs, so he says you can't connect the dots looking forward you can only connect the dots looking backward. And it was something that really hit me when I was on that trip I was describing when you asked me a vacation that I had.

And that was one of the first two weeks of my trip I remember being on that beach and seeing and feeling and hearing all of those things. And at the beginning of my journey. I thought, what the heck am I doing, I bought a one way ticket to Guatemala, I am insane. But I heard a voice that said, buy the ticket. Go to Guatemala, like I literally in meditation heard this voice and now that you're saying, you know, you saw it you felt that you're hearing yet the universe is frickin pushing me. So anyway I did it. And I kept, I remember standing on the beach and it was a beautiful like a beautiful moment but I remember thinking, I don't know why the hell I'm here. But I don't need to know. I'm just going to be, I'm just going to be here seven months later, I look back, I looked at my trip on a map, I read through my journals I looked at my photos, and I thought, holy crap, I couldn't have planned a better seven months vacation or travel or whatever you want to call it, adventure. I couldn't have ever predicted the people I was going to meet the experiences I was going to have the things I was going to learn along the way. And I'm so glad that I let go. In the beginning, even though I was a little bit tough there were some times where I was like, okay, food poisoning was not part of part of what I wanted. But, again, it led me to meet certain people and to visit certain places and to know things about myself, for my own strength and that was a journey that I learned so much about my own strength and my own courage and my, my own belief in myself and trust that you just have to believe, like you said, you have to believe and keep believing. Absolutely love it. All right, ladies, tell us about how we can work with you because you're amazing and I know that you have virtual offerings as well so share some more about the raise your vibes with Tasha and how we can, how we can connect

[59:42] TR: I have several different services that I'm offering for people right now. We are in a time with COVID in I am aware that I'm still offering one to one Reiki sessions. And so this is an in person. If you are not comfortable with one to one in person sessions, I am offering distant Reiki healing Healing Sessions.

So I have a beautiful, beautiful space that I'm using right now and I'm following all of the protocols to ensure of your health and safety first and foremost, and what a Reiki session is is literally a top to bottom.

Energy clearing really helping you to understand your energy so that you can step into your higher self. It is an inward journey and experience. And I guide you along the way because I'm someone who believes that what I'm feeling what I'm seeing you need to resonate and connect with so that you can embody it. And when you embody it that's when you can really make those changes for yourself. But ultimately, it is a self discovery for you. And you can still do that with me during distance Reiki Healing Sessions so it would be a virtual call. And the only thing that I ask is that I get to see you lie down so that I can look at your body and see how you're breathing and so I can check in with your energy that way, and still very similar experience as a hands on, but without the hands on, and I will walk you through every step of the way. What you get out of that is really a life changing experience. It feels like a flood of energy that's just being pushed out of your body and it is ultimate peace ultimate rest and relaxation at the end of the day, I always ask any of my clients, never come with any expectations and come with an open mind.

That is all I can ask.

From there, I'm also offering energy readings. So for those that are just kind of getting into all of this really cool fascinating world of energy work, and are curious to know where their energy blocks are in their body. An energy reading session with me is a great way to do that. I, as I've mentioned I'm the one holding up the mirror for you. I am not here to project what my own personal thoughts are. I channel the energy and the connection with source energy. I call in your guides I call in my guides and I work through them to help you raise your vibration to the highest self.

And, you know, within an energy reading, I do provide exercises along the way. And again, I never asked that you bring any tools with you other than yourself. I want you to show up fully as who you are. And we'll use breathwork we'll use body movements, we'll make funny sounds whatever needs to happen to get out whatever it is that is happening in your body, that we need to release, mind body and soul. So you can do an unbroken energy reading with me. And then also I do offer one to one, or group meditation sessions as well. For those that are just looking to understand, meditation, how to get into it, teaching the principles of meditation, and how to allow meditation to benefit you and, again, to step into your higher self, those are really the three ways right now I also have a beautiful website for you that has so many freebies for you to tap into some free meditations. And if you are curious about what your energy is saying and if you had an opportunity to check in what your energy is telling you, I have a free online quiz that you can, that you can access, and it will give you a really fun response as to what your energy is saying to you, and provide you with some great tips there as well.

[1:04:00]  VL: And we have one more final round of the segment which is our rapid fire, around, are you ready?

WEBSITE | everythingisenergy.ca

INSTAGRAM | @iam_tasharomanelli 

CHAKRA QUIZ 

RAPID FIRE ROUND:

Question number one: What are you currently reading or what's your favourite book?

TR: Spiritually Sassy. It's actually a really good book. Oh my goodness, the author is a new author, so it's spiritually sassy Yes, eight radical steps to activate your innate superpowers and it's by son de Simone, I'm probably not saying that properly. But he is his beautiful flamboyant man who uses his body through dance, and expresses his spirituality. He's very got a very similar story of not feeling like he belongs, or when he was in doing his spiritual journey to didn't feel like he belonged. It didn't feel like he fit in fear he wasn't the type to wear all the white sit there and like, you know, be still for so long and what he realized is that his superpowers his spirituality doesn't have to come in the form of what his predecessors, you know, are or do. So it's a really interesting book. Love it.

Question number two: What do you love most about being a woman?

TR: Well, I gave birth to two beautiful boys. But I just love that. I came out in this world as the stronger one out of the two sexes.

Question number three, What does empowerment mean to you?

TR: empowerment means to me, oneness connectedness. When we all work together as one. We empower one another to be better to do better to act better and to make real positive change in the world.

Question number four: What are you currently working toward?

TR: I am working toward building a community. I am looking for ways to create soulful Sundays, where I can connect with other soulful like minded individuals who all Express very similar ways of living that I do, and sit in circle.

VL: Okay love that. I can't wait to hear about this. Thank you so much for being a part of the show, it is an absolute pleasure and honor to sit with you and to hear your story, and to learn all about kind of letting our freakout and choosing courage over fear I think it's the most perfect reminder for everyone who does listen to the show the women's empowerment show on how we can step into that power and empower ourselves to be more authentic and to be more freak, and weird and incredible and perfectly imperfect and all the things so i i appreciate what you do I, I know the world also appreciates, everything you do and how you serve. So, thank you so much.

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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