Posts in Health & Wellness
Which Episode with Sarah are you looking for?
 
 

E112: Style as Self Care: The Comfy-Chic Formula with Sarah Peel

Meet Sarah Peel of Citizenne Style & Home, as she teaches us how to shop our closets, take better care of our clothes, and create self care practices through style in her holistic lifestyle guide: Citizenne At Home…


E131: How to Incorporate Mindfulness Daily with Sarah Sturino

Learn about the nine pillars of mindfulness and how to start incorporating them into your daily practice to live a more mindful and heart-centred life, featuring special guest, Sarah Sturino…

 
Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E123: Healthy Habits for Spring
 
 

E123: Healthy Habits for Spring

Check out these 12 healthy habits to start incorporating this spring season! Choose your favourites, or elevate current habits…


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[3:00] 1. Drink Warm Lemon Water

There are many benefits to drinking warm lemon water in the morning. Waking up and drinking water in the morning is one of the ways I love to start the day, and so do our bodies. It promotes hydration, especially after sleeping overnight with no water. 

While drinking water on its own will improve digestion, adding the juice of half a lemon can also give your body a detox boost and lemon is a great source of vitamin C. Vitamin C in lemons has been shown to reduce skin wrinkling, dry skin aging, and sun damage. We’ll talk more about skin later on.

[5:04] 2. Eat More Leafy Greens

As the seasons change, so will the foods we eat. It’s time to stop eating the same foods you were in the winter, and start eating colourful salads!

I live in Ontario Canada and here’s what’s in season for March + April: Apples, Rhubarb, Beets, Cabbage, Carrots, Mushrooms, Red + Yellow Onions, Parsnips, Potatoes, Rutabaga, Squash, Sweet Potatoes

Fresh, Springy Salads with Seasonal Produce

Greens supplements:

Pineapple Mango

Peach Flavour


[7:45] 3. Be in Nature/Outside

As the weather warms up I feel more inclined to get outside and enjoy the season. That’s not to say we haven’t made time outside in the summer, but I personally prefer the warmer weather. The last few weeks it’s actually been quite beautiful where we live and we’ve been making the most of the sunshine! 

You already know that there are heaps of benefits to being outside and out in nature. I can tell you right now that just from being outside more in the last couple weeks I’ve noticed a huge change in my mood, my weekly screen time report shows a significant decrease in the hours I’ve been spending on my phone or computer, and I’ve also been sleeping a lot better. Plus being outside is a great opportunity for us to PLAY! Which is the next healthy habit for spring...

[8:48] 4. Play

Run through the flowers, jump in the puddles, colour the sidewalks with chalk - we actually did this recently and it was a lot of fun! Play is really a habit I advocate for all year round, and honestly it’s so good for your mind, body and soul! Here are some of the benefits of play:

(Source)

  • Keeps you feeling young and energetic

  • Relieves stress

  • Helps improve your relationship and connection to others

  • Develops and improves your social skills - at every age

  • Stimulates the mind and boosts creativity

  • Can also support healing emotional wounds

  • Improves brain function

[10:00] 5. Sweat Out Toxins

You’re getting outside more, you’re playing more, why not take things up a notch and SWEAT more too! Our sweat glands help our skin filter out toxins from the body. This has many benefits including boosting our immune system, regulating our body temperature, and eliminating toxins. Plus what’s a great way to start sweating? By moving your body!

[10:56] 6. Love Your Skin

There are a few ways we can love our skin, and this is the sixth healthy habit for spring! One of my most favourite habits is Dry Skin Brushing.

To do this you will need a natural bristle brush, I prefer one with a long handle so that I can reach behind by back easier.

Handle free one that is perfect for travelling.

When dry skin brushing you want to use the natural bristles to gently, and firmly brush the skin in long strokes toward the heart, going over each area 7-10 times. Start at the soles of the feet and work your way up. At the belly, brush in a clockwise motion, and avoid the face. Do this before showering. 

Following your shower, love your skin by moisturizing your body and face with your favourite skincare products. I love doTERRA’s Verage Skincare Collection and their Moisturizing Body Mist

[13:54] 7. Breathe the Fresh Spring Air

Since you’re spending more time outside, why not take a few extra breaths of that fresh spring air. Can we all agree that breathing deep, full breaths of fresh air is very beneficial for our health, wellness, and immune system. Let’s take a deep breath together right now. First, inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth. When you’re exhaling push out ALL the air you possibly can until there is no more left. Then take a bigger, fuller breath in through the nose, and fully release through the mouth.

[15:20] 8. Mindful Reset /Slow Down

Spring is a great time for detoxing from slow winters, but it’s also a great time to reset and refresh! Get in the habit of taking a mindful moment to enjoy deep breaths, reset your energy and slow down; take some time to stop and smell the flowers!

Season change and so do our own moods, cycles, and activities. It’s important to be mindful through changes and work through the flow - for some it will be easier than for others.

[16:50] 9. Practice Gratitude

A great way to slow down and really enjoy life is to practice gratitude.

E69: What 365 Days of Gratitude Taught Me

[19:08] 10. Better Quality Sleep

E117: Evening Transitions for Better Sleep

[20:55] 11. Spring Cleaning

Home, relationships, negative thoughts/limiting beliefs

  • Declutter

  • Deep clean your fridge

  • Donate unworn clothes/home items


[22:27] 12. Gardening & Planting Seeds

Plant seedlings, get a house plant, connect with nature!

So maybe you don’t have the green thumb, no problem! Plant a different kind of seed: “plant” intentions. Remember there is lots of renewal energy in spring, lots of excitement to stat new projects

 
Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E122: Supporting Our Health Through Art and Cycles with Milica Dodic
 
 

E122: Supporting Our Health Through Art and Cycles with Milica Dodic

Join me in welcoming Milica Dodic to the show, and lean in as we chat about the ongoing healing and support of our mental, emotional, and physical health through syncing with cycles and creating through art…


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[1:06] Valerie Lavigne: You're listening to another special episode of the women's empowerment podcast today, I get to introduce you to Milica, she's the owner of rhymes with pizza, where she creates hand painted custom nails.


Her career includes working in the film and television industry in business affairs festival programming and recruitment, with over 15 years of practice and experience with nail art, Milica has expanded her business in May 2020 to offer press on nails and educating others on proper nail care when she's not working or thinking about nails, Milica loves playing with her puppy watching TV shows and movies, and advocating for mental health.


It's so great to have you on the show today Mili we have always had a good time on Instagram, and I just love how that we share like memes and playlists and hilarious reels all about like the 90s in the early 2000s and makes me, like it makes my day I laugh so hard at all of them.


Milica Dodic: It's so funny because I just said to someone this morning that I love how people know to send me nostalgic stuff, and it just brightens up my day. I'm like, oh so I'm this person now like I'm obsessed with the 90s and 2000s and just, can you just please take me back to that time.


VL: It's such a fun like kind of little extra piece of you that we get to see on your Instagram page I love like the quizzes that you do and the stories I think they're so fun I'm like, Yes, I remember all these TV shows. Oh my gosh, I use that oh blow up backpack and like a blow of chair and, oh my gosh, just like days and days and days I just love that, and I love, I love those.


MD: I love unlocking people's memories, good ones though.


VL: Oh my gosh, you know what there was one playlist where I was like, This is triggering me, I'm not ready to listen to. Yeah, thanks. 2009 or 10 right now. But since I've known you and started following you online. I think it's been like almost 10 months I want to say, but I've really had this awesome opportunity to watch you launch and grow your company and your new press on nails which are amazing. So it's been an absolute pleasure and an inspiration just to see your creativity and your passions like really shine in the work that you do. It's incredible.


[3:32] MD: Yeah, it's, it was something that I actually kind of started doing a walk like a long time ago, probably about well, long, about five or six years ago that I was thinking of doing press on nails and then it just sort of fell to the side, and then I found that with the pandemic. I had to make some sort of switch because I wasn't, I didn't want to have people coming into my home which also doubles as my studio, and my workspace. And then I have a few friends who weren't being compromised. So I wanted to be able to offer something that, you know, still like makes people happy I guess like through.

It's basically just wearable art. That's how I view nail nail art in general. And it's just very specific stuff so I generally don't offer just like a single color it's always hand painted miniature pieces of artwork.

And, yeah, it was, it. I saw a bunch of other nailers that I follow that kind of started doing that and offering nails or press on nails. And, yeah, I just thought, why not try it.


VL: Oh, you're doing an awesome job you are a very talented artist and just like you said they're very unique and miniature canvases that's how I like to look at it too, but you are also an advocate for mental health, could you tell us more about your journey and your experience with this.


MD: Yeah. I think I even infused that in any of the work that I do, even with the press on nails. When I first started doing them it was important for me to sort of try and give back in some way and incorporate the things that I believe in so that's where like the designs for charity came in, And one of the first ones that I did was for mental health because it was for October's mental health awareness.

You know like nails have always been a way of creative expression for me, it's just sort of like, it became more of this outlet, where, where I'm able to just like you know even like express my mental state. A lot of the time people are able to tell if I'm not feeling well. When I'm not posting anything about nails, or if it's been like a while there have been times in the past where like, I wouldn't post anything for like two weeks or something.

There would be like two weeks where I'm not posting anything and you know I'll make a post and someone will be like, oh is wondering what happened like are you okay.

So, yeah, um, my journey with mental wellness is, or mental illness rather is quite a long one and an ongoing one. I suffered from a pretty bad nervous breakdown back in 2016.

And that was, it was like super difficult for me to navigate.

And because I went into a state of self isolation for probably about eight months. I didn't have a job at the time, or I did have a job but it was just so part time and fortunately they understood what was happening so it was able to work from home for a time, and then that contract was done so.

So I was stuck in such a state of like really deep depression and not knowing what I was going to do with my life and not really even knowing who I was, that, you know, the only thing that that gave me any comfort was nailart I was like the one thing that was pretty consistent in my life. Other than like watching HGTV and hallmark movies and other comfort shows. And, Yeah, it was, it was kind of like it was just really difficult trying to navigate that whole field of mental health and especially as someone that is an immigrant.

*Molly Barks*


[7:50] VL: No problem. We love it it's just an extra sound effects she's our other special guests.


MD: She has a lot to say


VL: Yeah, it sounds like it I'll have to have her on her own episode.


MD: Um, I think, you know, like as an immigrant, that's something that is such a difficult conversation to have with your family like it's not something that we ever really talked about, you know, growing up, I've probably had anxiety for a big portion of my life.

And it was just something that was not recognized So because of that, you just sort of like hide it or you push it aside and think that it's like oh I'm just being dramatic because that's what I was told.

So I partially had to try and navigate the system on my own because I didn't have conversations with friends about it. But it wasn't until I started going through some through, through it, that I started being more vulnerable and opening up the conversation with other people that they started coming to me for advice, and even just wanting to like share their experience and their story of dealing with mental illness.


[9:06] VL: And I think that's so important in. In those times already do feel very sad or anxious, or are alone, because it I find it is very isolating to feel those ways and you don't always know how to, how to manage it or how to cope or how to process those things so to be able to have friendships and support groups like that is so powerful. You shared a couple little things that really helped you, when you were struggling with, with your mental health. If someone came to you today, right now like if I told you right now that I was really struggling with my mental health, what would be your advice or what would, how would you support your friend.


MD: Um, I think, listening to what their experience is obviously so important. It's not so much about like asking questions I think that that's something that is so that the job of a therapist or a trained professional.

You know, things that are, that come from a place of empathy, I think that was one big thing that I had to learn is the difference between sympathy and empathy and it's just such an ongoing practice to try not to, like, flip it on its head and be like, well, at least, you know, blah blah blah.

I think my biggest thing is just really trying to see sit in that space as hard as it is something that my therapist told me at the beginning when I started therapy, about four years ago.

She, she would constantly say like just sit with your feelings and I'm like, but I am doing it and it's not working and she's like, After several weeks ago saying that she was like, literally sit there with your feelings do not watch TV while you're doing it don't read a book don't listen to music nothing just be there in silence and just like feel things.

So I started doing that and I was like, Oh my gosh, this is what she meant by sit with your feelings and sometimes it's not even sitting for me the thing that helps me a lot of the time is just laying on the ground, though something another friend told me is like, if you just lay down on like a cold ground like your kitchen floor, whatever, just the contrast of that, the cold against your body kind of gives you like a, like a physical cue to sort of snap out of it, I guess.

And it just allows gives me the space to, like, think because the only thing of staring at is the ceiling.

And then the other thing that helps me to was just really researching the different stuff, you know like I didn't really understand what anxiety or depression was, I just kind of knew what the surface definition of it was.

And, you know, like, No, I just believe that knowledge is power, and being able to know like what resources are available to you. And that's something that I say to people all the time, don't, don't let the, the financial aspect be be a deterrent for you. I know that a lot of therapy is not necessarily affordable but there are different resources available, where it is more accessible I think especially with the pandemic there has been a bigger.

What's the word. There's been a bigger focus on mental health and I think a lot of organizations and places of practice have realized, you know, we need to be able to offer services for a lower price or even for free.


[12:52] VL: Those are really helpful I find like what you said about laying on the floor of your kitchen floor, it’s very grounding even if you can’t get outside in the grass if you can't get there, that cold feeling and even the, the firmness of a kitchen floor typically is something that really brings you into the present moment. So, what you were saying by like, oh sitting with your feelings but not watching TV and not being on your phone and not just like talking to your dog actually sitting and being with your feelings can be really difficult to do, and as that's as you start to recognize or acknowledge the feelings or bring awareness to the feelings that are coming up. We automatically seem to want to work. We seem to want to distract ourselves from processing it from dealing with it, or from just even recognizing it so for you, what would you say if someone was like, I'm having a really hard time. Like I feel the feelings, and then I just kind of ignore them or push them back away I'm having a really hard time processing, which you say or do?


MD: I think that's, it's so difficult for me to give advice on like one tip because everybody's so individual I don't know what type of, you know, stuff, you know background, they come with or whatever. I think for me.

What helped me was, was knowing that like, you know, progress isn't linear, I might, you know, the more I practice something that better I will generally get with get get get at it.

And it's the same with like practicing sitting with your feelings, I might feel like crap one day.

And then I won't be able to you know like sit with my feelings that day because I'm just so deep in it.

It's just kind of giving myself that grace and compassion and allowing the space for things to flow essentially. I think when, when I was able to alleviate some of that pressure for myself of being like, I just need to do better like how do I learn to sit with my feelings that once that pressure was gone. That's when I was like, Okay, today I'm having an off day like I might actually just want to like, you know, I can't deal with my feelings today, I'm just gonna watch a movie. Right. And then the next day, I might have a little bit more strength or energy to actually devote time to mindfulness and being able to sit there and process things, you know in a healthier way.

I think it's even like you made a post today that was, that was basically about the like compassion piece and you know that like, you don't have to always be improving yourself or doing better and stuff, you know like, give yourself that grace period.


[15:59] VL: Yeah that's true I did post about that today, It’s an ongoing journey, or mental health is not something that okay we fixed it and now it's good to go. It's something that we're constantly working toward or nurturing maybe instead of always trying to improve improve improve. I mean there's definitely some power and positivity but I feel like the real work, and the real power comes when you can forgive yourself and when you can say like it's okay to not feel amazing every single day it's okay to not feel super happy in this moment, like, we're human beings we have emotions these emotions come and go and they go up and they go down and they go around and all of these different things. But you know that I post about and I share a lot of content about practices and habits and kind of like daily rituals and things are there any rituals or routines that you like to implement into your lifestyle maybe more frequently than not, that support your mental health.


MD: So I go to a naturopath, and that helps both in my mental like with my mental illness, and then also in like hormonal imbalance and whatever other physical issues that may be having.

And I think that that has really helped me in like keeping on track with like getting to know my body better.

That's one practice that I've implemented in like, you know, if one day, I feel like eating pizza, it's okay for me to eat pizza.

But then, you know, there are certain certain repercussions to that so just having a bit of that balance, you know like, I don't necessarily have any like daily rituals I'm kind of like bad at keeping up with the consistency of things sometimes but I think the one thing that is more consistent is like, allowing myself, the compassion to just listen to what my body needs at that particular time.

Whether it's like, you know, mindfully checking in at any point of the day, I don't necessarily start my mornings being like, Okay, what do I need right now. It's just, you know, I might start my mornings off.

You know, really frantic because the dog for example will wake me up at 630 in the morning with her crying, and that doesn't start me off on you know on a good foot in the mornings, but throughout the day I'll try and implement even like points of relaxation I find that like play for example is something that is so important to me. You know today, for example, I'm. I'm so, like, in this in my luteal phase of my cycle and I know that I get a little bit more pad top. The PMS is like a lot worse. So just being aware of what part of my cycle I'm in and kind of trying to work with that instead of against it's so important to me.

And just recognizing that like today for example I won't be able to do a lot of work so instead I might just like, watch TV, and do some painting, and then the painting something that is just a hobby.

And that's another thing that are in any of, like, my wellness practices, it's so important to have some sort of hobby that you aren't looking to make like financial gain from.


[19:44] VL: Yeah, you've made a lot of really valid and really important points, and I think that I mean if we go backwards so having a hobby that doesn't that you're not monetizing, I think is really important, and especially for myself because I'm always kind of like I really love what I do, I love my business, and there are parts of my business that make a little bit more money than others and even though. Like, like content creation for example with my Instagram. I really like making content creation, I don't get paid for every post that I do. But technically that's for work, but part of me makes the excuse of it, like, well, it's fun, and it is really fun. And I like the photography part of that I like the creativity piece to it but maybe.

So you're inspiring me to maybe just do like, or photography and less of it having to be okay this is for something, it can just be for pleasure can be for play.

Also I love that you are following your cycle, this is something that I'm also practicing more and more and specifically with like work and when I do my interviews and also when I'm doing more like intuitive, intuitive creation and not always doing, I think there's such a stigma around having to always be productive and giving yourself permission to say, well, like and check in and say how am I feeling, even if it's not every day at the same time or however, to at least give yourself that time, and that that compassion to say, Okay, well, you know what, this, this part of my cycle is where I take a break, as part of my cycle is where I push a little harder, and for women who aren't doing that yet. I think that's something that has been really game changing for me, and I find, I'm more productive when I follow the flow of my body, because I just like you're, it's like you're working with yourself and you find this like incredible life source energy within you that just, I don't know I just like I can take on the whole world sometimes even when I'm in that. Lower hormonal phase in my cycle. It's like my meditations are marked with it, and I have so many incredible and like expansive ideas for the show and for my Instagram and like how I want to serve in my workshops and all these different things so it's pretty incredible that you're doing it. Do you have you been doing it for a little while.


MD: Um, it's something that has sort of come up in conversation over the last, I would probably say like two or three months, just organically and it wasn't actually until a couple days ago that I looked into it and realized that there is a term for this it just hasn't been like medically researched as much as.

Oh my gosh, cycle thinking.

It's, it's something that like a couple friends have mentioned to me before but not like explicitly in those in that term.

So now I'm looking at like buying a couple books about it because I want to know more about it. I think even my naturopath has like sort of talked about it but hasn't been like listen let's like attack it from this. From this view.

And it's something that is just making me feel so much more empowered, instead of seeing seeing it as like, Oh, I feel like crap, this many days of the month, and I can't do anything like why am I not being productive and instead seeing it as like, this is just the state of my cycle where, as you said, like maybe I can be more creative instead of attacking things from very high energy point, you know it's it's it's working with your body rather than against it and I think that there's so much power to that and yeah it's it's exciting being able to know that there's this like whole other thing that I haven't never heard about really. It also kind of brings me back to my days of like, academia and learning about you know the luteal and follicular phase of your cycle, but like not really knowing what the heck that even means.

So now, you know like, it sucks that I'm 30, and I'm only now finding out about it. I wish that I knew about this when I was like a teenager.

So, I find that, like, the more women I'm able to talk to about this, there's just such a, for lack of a better word like a sisterhood around it right and i think that that feels so empowering to me.


[24:35] VL: Yeah, and it goes back to what you said about having that supportive community, and it's not just for mental health is for our social health and our emotional health and our physical health event. And it's cool to see how everything's really connected when you're doing cycles thinking, you will start to recognize if you haven't already that these different cycles that we go through, are very closely related to the seasons that everyone goes through every year.

So if the way that I think of it is like okay every month, I go through a year of seasons, or I go through four seasons and then working with those seasons like thinking about how in wintertime. We are a little bit more hibernating that summer probably like Netflix and chillin, and just taking it easy. And then as spring starts to come.

We're feeling a little bit more inspired and we're starting to do more things because like think about like the flowers that are or like the seeds that we planted, or are starting to plant are now coming into that blossoming time and same with summer like, that's when we're, we're harvesting all of our crops and all the flowers are like totally in bloom and we're. That's when we're like, really excited and we can do our interviews and we can just really show up and be these like really vibrant cells, and then it cycles back into fall, where things start to slow down a little bit, but it's not about like the, you know, like the dying trees are like the hibernating trees, it's more like, okay, each of the leaves are falling down this is where we're like wrapping up or wrapping up all the things that we've been doing so that we can prepare for our hibernation and I think that's such a fun and cool way to to explore and learn more about your body so I'm so excited that you're on this journey. I don't have any resources that come to my mind. Do you have any books or resources that you are looking into getting about this?

[26:27] MD: Yeah, the woman who coined the terms Cycle Syncing is named Alyssa Vitti and she wrote, WomenCode, and then she also has another book I forget the name of it. I think she's a nutritionist that's based in New York or something and basically all her work is around us and just trying to empower women to really get to know their bodies better, you know, like cycles thinking through, even incorporating things in your lifestyle and nutrition based stuff, like what things you should or shouldn't eat. According to the part of your cycle you're in.

And, yeah, I'm looking at getting the audio book for that and then probably just like the regular book for her second piece that she wrote because I think it also comes with like a bunch of recipes and stuff and I love cooking, most of the time.

So, yeah, it's kind of like this like cool new thing that I am starting to discover and it feels really fun, like you said, and it just feels like there's just so much hope behind it I think in a lot of ways in the past, especially when you're talking to doctors and stuff and this goes hand in hand with like mental illness too is that it will be really dismissive or they'll just sort of use these like three blanket terms or, you know like, general practice, things that might not actually work for your body so at the beginning of my whole mental wellness journey. I was.

I was supposed to go on an antidepressant, and I was like, This doesn't feel right for my body and I ended up listening to my body and not to the psychiatrist. So wasn't very good at her practice.

And I ended up going to a naturopath, and that has helped me so much more because we actually sit down time.

And it's not a thing where, you know, I had to have a lot of antidepressants, so I think being able to take a more holistic lifestyle is.


VL: Because we’re still on the topic of mental health resources topic, what resources would you recommend?


MD: So there's, there are a few resources about this woman specific to Toronto and Ontario for affordable therapy. I think it's affordable therapy network.com or something like that. And it's just a list of a bunch of different therapists and social workers and counselors that offer affordable rate therapies both for couples and individuals.

And that's how I found my current therapist and she's really great.

What else is there, I have also a link to a document that a friend of mine and I have combined some resources as well for not just actual like therapy but just different like links to learning a little bit more about mental health. So I can share that as well.


VL: That would be amazing. All this has been a really interesting conversation I feel like we dabbled in a little bit of everything in terms of like mindset, mental health, emotional health and also some of our physical health too. I think this is going to be really helpful for people listening. So let us know where we can find you follow you and how we can support your business?


MD:

IG | @rhymes_with_pizza

Website | www.ryhmeswithpizza.com Press on nails available on this site! And then I also take custom orders as well. Prices are, there's a large range of them. So everything is custom made, and every piece is unique because it's hand painted. And then I also offer some nail care stuff so there's cuticle oils and they're all natural.

There's three different types currently I'm probably going to be adding a couple more. And that's a little bit more affordable and it's also for people that don't necessarily want to get press on nails.


VL: Yeah, I was telling the Milica before the recording that because of how much I work in like the fitness industry and how much I use my hands I feel like I'm constantly chipping my nails and I never, I don't remember the last time I painted my nails I'm going to be honest with you, but I do like I do feel like there is a part of me that has these beautiful press on nails that you have but I just learned my, I just learned my nail care from you and I feel like I learned how I would want my nails to look, if I paint.


MD: It's also inspiration for outside of just nail stuff like if you're into drawing, painting, I love talking about just like creativity and that whole journey too so I think anybody can be creative. It's honestly like if you haven't already checked out her Instagram page you would need to, because I still don't understand how you make those detailed drawings or detailed like, how do you do that with nail polish I really don't know. Every time I'm like this is amazing.


VL: It’s so impressive! I can't even sit still just to like paint one nail one color, and I find like I always it's always like, how good is it, how does it look like I pushed my fingernail into the couch after I painted it.


VL: What are you currently reading, or what is your favourite book?


MD: I haven't been reading as much I just found that like reading is really difficult for me to keep consistent with it so the way that I try and get back into that habit is reading youth graphic novels.

I recently read one. Oh my gosh, the name escapes me, But it was just this like adventure graphic novel and it's super fun and, yeah, there's always a beginning, middle and end, and things are always, there's always a resolution.


VL: What do you love most about being a woman?


MD: Oh my gosh, so many things. I think like femininity is so powerful to me like being able to be able delicate and assertive.

Feels so powerful to me I think that there's, you know, there's like, just so many different almost like characteristics that you can take on as a woman, and I love that.


VL: What does “empowerment” mean to you?


MD: I almost look look at empowerment is like being able to share that with other people. I don't necessarily feel empowered all the time myself but if I'm able to share that with somebody else and make them feel confident about what they're doing and who they are, then, then I almost feed off of that.


VL: What are you currently working toward?


MD: Oh gosh. Um, what am I working toward. I think just having a better patience, practice with myself. I think that that kind of goes hand in hand with the whole play thing and why I'm trying to incorporate more hobbies and just like quiet time because it gets me into a better flow state and then I'm able to get back to work and like create things a little bit better. It also like goes with that whole cycle sinking thing and that, that just makes me super excited.


 
Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

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Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E121: How to Ask Powerful Yes or No Questions to Connect You to Your Intuition
 
 

E121: How to Ask Powerful Yes or No Questions to Connect You to Your intuition

Today’s episode guest AND sponsor is going to BLOW YOUR MIND! Learn all the best questions to ask yourself so that you can connect to your intuition….


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[1:17] Valerie LaVigne: Welcome back to the women's empowerment Podcast. I am so excited to introduce you to Tara McCrory Tara is a clarity coach and certified energy practitioner, she empowers the ready and willing to connect the dots to their own life and align to their intuition, so they may understand what it's like to live with true clarity and flow Tara's uniqueness lies in her use of the Akashic records. Human Design intuitive guidance and energy work to completely release blocks, limiting beliefs hindering patterns, and the non beneficial energies holding our clients back her ability to see true gently expose the shadows indicate to in a way that is easy to understand and highly resonant is one of her greatest gifts. Tara believes in the power of powerful questions, a beginner's mindset, and that everyone can receive the clarity they so rightfully deserve and are worthy of, they just have to ask.

Whoa, I get like these affirmation goosebumps when I read that, because I feel like what what's next like when I meet Tara and when I talk to Tara like what are we going to discover. Do you get that a lot? 


Tara McCrory: I definitely get all the time well how did you know this? And the short answer is, I don't know how I knew to ask that. I just knew to ask it, and I just let it come to me and so when I talk about beginner's mindset and when I say the power of questions What I mean is the power of asking yourself, simplified question. I always tell people, okay this is simple it's yes or no.


Yes or No. Are you grounded. Are you 100% grounded and people can accept the response as their own versus.


Why should they accept the response as their guidance as their clarity, versus. I don't know, am I grounded, I'm like, it's a yes or no question, you're going to get a yes or you're going to get a no and it really helps people, myself included, move through that aspect of like, Is this my intuition is it's not my intuition, am I overthinking it because as soon as I ask someone a question and it's a yes or no question and they start to go.


Well maybe I'm like that's not your guidance, that's you trying to formulate a response so yeah part of it is understanding the next step and what to ask ourselves in that clarity and part of it is just like being in receptive mode of okay rapidfire yes or no, is this is this true for me, that's a big one that I keep asking people right now. Is this true for you, yes or no is this 100% true for you. Yes or no. I'm talking about discernment is this 100% true for you, yes or no. So, yeah, you just you just have to ask, is really a stumbling block for a lot of people, myself included.



[4:51] VL: Yeah, you're saying this and I'm thinking, Okay, big, big nods and nodding along are definitely in agreeance with this, I feel this. I'm definitely one of those people who I find that I'm trying to think of a logical way, or I'll ask the question and then answer it like okay, if yes, this is what's going to happen if nope this is what's going to happen. And I tried to kind of formulate the answer this way, but I'm also someone who who I really want to tap into that intuition more and I encourage people to do the same. So maybe we'll start with how we can ask those powerful questions like how. where do we start with all of that. If we're just like so much in our heads and trying to figure things out.



TM: That's such a good question, and my, I do this every single day so what I'm going to share with you guys today are things that I do for myself every single day.

Here's the thing, I start by learning how to muscle, which is what empowered me to dive down the route of yes or no question. I use a pendulum, all the time, a pendulum simply is.


You can have an F plus on a string button on a string. Basically I use it as a calibration or a antenna to, to read my energy. But when you don't know where to start this is what I suggest to people is that take five or six deep breaths.


Write down everything you can possibly imagine. Just do a humongous brain dump in bullet point form on a piece of paper. And then what I tell people is to number it, and to take a couple deep breaths and ask for the number so just say you have one through 10.


Great. Take a deep breath. What number do you want me to focus on this is what I say is I'm always like Okay guys, what number do you want me to focus on six. Okay cool six. Then I go to look at six, and I say, actually so six on my list is guided by guides, I mean, ebooks and stuff because people have been asking a lot of questions so we'll use this as a perfect example. Number six, they want to talk to me about number six guides. Okay, we'll actually use the whole terminology of your spirit guides grayed out. So, yes or no. Do you want me to assign you a name.


Because I will tell you it's actually a lot easier to connect to your intuition. If you assign or talk to your guides, as if they're like, Hey Val Hey Tara. So are you okay with me assigning a name to yes or no. Yes. Cool.


Allow the name to come to you. If they're like, no. Awesome, what's the next step. Do you want to give me your name that, yes. Cool.

What's the next step, I would actually write down the alphabet, in a little kind of crazy chart, and I would start to figure out what their name is or I would just say, hey, awesome. Next slide. Can you give me your name. Ash, I'm getting ash. Okay, so maybe one of youse guyses ash. Cool.

That's how I use yes or no questions on an everyday basis, you have a long to do list. Put your to do list down brain dump it out the numbers. Where do you want me to start yes or no is that 100% Yes, I will also give you that as a hot tip. Always ask if it's 100%. Because value or like, if this is a yes then this happens and you're creating this crazy decision tree, and it actually will simplify once you say, I'm looking for what is 100%. Yes, because technically speaking, we know that yes this 51%. In all honesty 51% is not a good enough, yes for me I don't want to be actioning guidance from my intuition if it's like a. Maybe there's 51% I want guidance on 100% I want to action and move forward with 100% clarity so I always ask, Is this 100% Yeah.


[9:08] VL: Whoa, I just we just had an episode called mastering your to do list and I'm like scrap it. We need to re-record it!

Episode 115: Master Your To Do List


Would you do like an intuitive intuitive mastering your to do list bonus episode, I love that that is really cool I cannot wait to try this because I do often have a very long to do list but I also. So I know you work with human designs I'm a manifesting generator, and what I'm wondering about that is that I need to be in touch with my sacral and to respond right so it's cool because I'm learning that the yes or no questions are actually really important to someone like me, when we need to respond. We just need to know yes or no. This or that to count complications. 


TM: 100%, it's so interesting because in humans that I'm a projector I do not have a sacral response.

But what I will say is because the majority that I have met and worked with are either projectors because they want to learn how to live in their projector or our generators and manifesting generators as a large part of the population. Yes guys operate through yes or no questions already, and then the rest of us can in fact train ourselves to operate through yes and no question. So, by that I mean, I don't have the secret response I really don't have a gut response and that's actually what led me partially down this journey is that when people like me have this gut feeling and I'm like, something that's wrong with me because I don't have this. I don't know what you're talking about like I don't have this gut feeling.


But as time went on and I asked myself okay. I don't have a gut feeling show me what a yes feels like in my body and what it feels like in my body. Those became really big game changers for me. I yes actually feels like my ears are popping a no actually feel like I guess this kind of like wildly uncomfortable but hit at the top of my throat. So, I now no yes I know what that feels like. Or, I started by body swinging that's another way of muscle testing, I could use a visual yes or no. In terms of my pendulum so I started to train myself to find my yeses and noes, and then once I started doing that and I became really curious with the question.


I like the word you use over complicating it and then now simplifying it so the yeses and noes totally simplify things. It's, it's a way to tap into your guides into your intuition access your own Akashic reference for example I use that all the time to just gain the clarity that you need when I say that I'm clarity coaching I'm literally guiding you to okay here's, here's five other questions you may not have thought about asking yourself why don't you try these. And people are like, Whoa, I didn't think of asking that. So, it is we have this tendency through our mind, our logical mind to want to overcomplicate things. But when we bring it back down to simplifications and yes or no questions.


It's, it's game changing so I'm super happy that you are a manifesting generator and a compare your yeses and noes, and be as a manifesting generator you're supposed to be doing a lot of things at once, like that's part of your like your multitasking extraordinare so when you have your massive to do list, and you can ask Okay, this and this, or this, you know, you may actually get to em for Okay cool. So you can maybe listen to a podcast and be. I don't know, creating whatever spreadsheet or cleaning, for example, but it gives you guidance on how you're going to operate that.



[13:20] VL: Yeah, I really, I really liked what you said about, even if you don't have that gut feeling that you can ask yourself What does a yes or no feel like in your body, and this is something that I've taught before and I call it my IGA s or like my intuitive guidance system. And, and it's just that's it's simply asking the question What does yes feel like, What does no feel like and that actually changed so much within me because this was way before I even knew anything about human design this was way before I was like, focusing on my sacral and it was very much a gut feeling but also a heart space feeling for me too. It felt like the know was like a very constricted like kind of like it was holding me back like whoa, and then the yes was more open I almost set up a little taller. So that was my experience with that.

And yes, I'm definitely a multitasker. So I resonate a lot with with that Human Design profile. You did mention Akashic records and. But I before I, before we just get into that I did have one more question with as a clarity coach Do you find that when you start to encourage people to ask more questions, do you find people are getting overwhelmed with all of the questions they're asking like, I know you said like one to 10 in your to do list and then you write down like abcdefg for figuring out what your guides name is can we get too overwhelmed and can we get like too deep into it, and if yes then how do we pull ourselves back?



TM: Yeah, that's a good question. Absolutely. I think you can get too deep into it. Because we start to let me say acknowledge how fun it is all of a sudden, get into things.


And I'll have people reach out to me and be like, okay, so I know my guy. And now we want to know what their purpose is, I'm like, Okay, cool. So go back to the basic principles of like, write down every single topic you can think of, and then. Now, typically speaking, the people that are coming to me in terms of where they're at and where they want clarity is on a very specific topic and what I like to tell people is, it's the concept of chunking up like go as high as you can, with the vision and as sort of Up in the sky as you can and then ask questions there and go down and go down and go down you can drill, it's drilling down so what most people in fact have difficulty in is getting to the most chunked up place. So if I can help you get to the most chunked up place, then you can begin to start to drill down on your own. Now, I also believe, obviously, and a couple of things that are going to help people understand the whole concept and really understand how their inner guidance system, like you say is speaking to them and one of those ways is obviously through powerful yes or no question.


And through powerful yes or no questions, I first of all always lead my clients to Are you energetically software is all of the energy that you're carrying when you're feeling frustrated and overwhelmed and all of these other things, is it in fact yours, or are you carrying it.


For others, for the collective, did you pick it up, because you walked into a room that was really good, and all of a sudden.

One of my favorite terms is, I'm an empath I get that all the time for people I'm an empath and I'm like, I love that you're an empath. And to that I am going to say, I really would love for you to be an empath in recovery and just be a super compassionate person. Meaning, you don't need to take it on you understand that you're not here to take it on, you don't in fact take it on. But you meet people where they are, you can show them empathy and compassion, but you also understand that their vibe is their vibe, and you In fact, do not need to be the sponge. So it is through that that I think really helps people and then it also helps them from going down the rabbit hole because we go down the rabbit hole and we're super overwhelmed we're taking on all of these other energies because these energies.


They think like us they act like us they make us think that we are one when in fact, we're not as yours over there and I'm just going to return to sender with love. And then I'm going to go and I'm going to go on ask myself, my own questions so you can you absolutely can. And the first thing I would tell people is like, you know, check your energy isn't 100% yours. If you get a no go back to basics. Take your energy, your own and Daniel have a totally different experience.



[18:22] VL: Yeah, I, I know a lot of people who identify as empaths and I too can be very empathetic, but I find that it's been years of creating these energetic boundaries and really be able to being able to hold space because I think my, my, my journey of service and helping people really started when I became a yoga teacher, and I was noticing that people were, you know, you're coming to come to yoga with baggage sometimes I get it, that was part of my practice too It was like okay let it go on your mat, but as a teacher and being surrounded by so many people bringing their stuff into class, you really have to say like, this is mine. And this is yours. And I'm holding the space for you, but I'm not taking this on for you. And it's like, I also work with essential oils and I tell people like this oil is not going to save you, or cure your whatever's going on, it's going to support you in healing and processing, this so that I really liked that you said, you know, now you're going to, you're going to become this compact very compassionate person without having to, to feel and take on those things.



[19:46] TM: Yeah, that's huge. For a lot of empathetic people. Yeah. and you said something that was really important there was your energy boundaries and it's something that I talk about all the time is energetic boundaries, I'm like okay so let's check your energetic boundaries and people are like, way. And the way I like to describe it to people is like hold on a surgeon would put on gloves, before surgery. That is for the surgeons protection and the patient's protection. Anyone in healthcare would do the same. They put on gloves, so why would you not put on your glove. For your own protection and their protection and then people kind of go, what and one of the things that I often work with people as I say okay so let's, let's see how many energetic boundaries, how many gloves, should you be wearing. So, in this case, I hope you don't mind, well I'm going to check how many boundaries, you should be wearing so Val should have 12 energy gloves and I'll explain a little bit about what that means. So if you think of each one as its own unique color white and red whatever when you have strong energetic boundaries you have white, you have red, you have blue, you have, but when they are pierced by taking on other people's energy or even social media for example or they become pink and that's when we become very overwhelmed. That's when we have a lot of other people's energy mixing in with us because there's there's holes in it, and it's it's a rainbow versus solid colors, so you should have 12, and you in fact do have as well.


Yeah, which is amazing. I love to give people tangible things like that like okay let's ask yourself for a number of years how we asked for a number, because when people can start to sort of assign numbers or gain. Simple numbers tangible, in my opinion, to energetic things that are completely unseen. It helps them connect those dots for themselves so energetic boundaries are so important. It helps you maintain your connection to solve, maintain your connection to your intuition, it helps you stay grounded and in your body, and it really helps you be in the most magnificent place of service. Because I can be an empath in service and then be completely fatigued and completely exhausted and not know what I'm doing, or I can be empathetic, compassionate in my place of service which is exactly where you know you're saying you're doing and when you when you started your journey as a yoga instructor lady, holding this space it's really hard to hold space. Response just like taking it all in from each other.



[22:52] VL: Yeah, I like that analogy of the gloves, and then I almost think about how when I leave certain spaces or classes or whatever, relationships, I almost, I like the idea of like taking off the glass, and just. Okay, that was good, you know, we don't need to do. We created that boundary that safety for both of us. And now we can move forward. Yes. Yeah. Oh good, I'm gonna use that. There's so many things to do today. So many things to try!

Okay, let's jump into Akashic records because you've mentioned it a couple times I mentioned it when I read your bio, what are Akashic Records? Loaded question!?



[23:41] TM: In the most simplest form, the Akashic records are a realm. And by realm. I mean, it's a energetic considered a library. The best analogy I have ever come up with and one that I say, often is consider Kashuk records. Google for the spiritual world. That is the best way to describe it.

And so, you know, obviously with Google, if you put into the Google bar, red car, you will get 3000 pages of images and information on red cars, but if you put into the Google spacebar and read Pre Owned Volkswagens 2015 to 2018, you will get a totally different response.


Similar to the Akashic Records. This is why I tell people break it down into powerful questions when you ask yourself powerful questions. You get powerful answers. Now, the catalog records is essentially where because it's an ever living library, spiritual RAM and Google were like your intuition is getting its guidance, its first versus feeding you. Your next step. So, although I have practiced really hard to access to records. What I say is like everybody's already accessing their records, through their intuition. You know, you are talking your intuition you're talking to your guys you're following your guidance, you're standing in the lobby. And when you're like hey, I want to go on the record, they're like, Sure, come on over the elevator lobby, and that's where you go and then you're like, hey, actually, I've been considering this business idea and I really want to know x y and z about it. Cool, let's take you to this massive crazy skyscraper floor where there's going to be all of these resources and all of these ideas for you and that's sort of how it works and that's why I tell people like I'm already in it it's a matter of intention it's a matter of asking different questions is, it's really a matter of, you need to broadening your perspective, a little bit. Sure. A lot of people come to me and they want to know. Half Life things. Great. There's a lot of information about past lives in the Akashic records.

One person actually asked me on the weekend. Well, I want to book an akashic records meeting for my business but why would I need that and I was like, Well, hold on a second. Think of it this way, your business holds and energy, your business.

And you are tied together energetically so if you're one book in the records. Your business is another book, we go in and we read the energies, between the two, we go and we ask, you know, perhaps you've had a past life or something. Um, trust me guys we all have things, but perhaps, perhaps you, what are the things that comes out a lot right now for me is that people have had taken vows or contracts and past lives to be healers. And although that is not a bad thing. When they took them originally they these 1000s of contracts have more energetically and are now hindering their experience as a healer versus, helping them Excel.


Poverty contracts of poverty for example vows of poverty we've all taken them at some point in our many incarnations many lives. And it's a matter of sometimes going in and finding the end, I like to call it the inception point like so the very first time you ever decided that it would be a good idea to say like that I don't need money for this, and then therefore, carry this kind of potential frequency of scarcity or lack or even not accepting money for your services kind of thing that is still to this day, affecting us, so I basically use it all the time to figure out what's in my highest and best. And when I'm guiding people to ask yes or no questions essentially I'm just guiding you to go in and through the records how to do that.

And I, I love it, like I do clearings through it I do activations through it all my manifestations, through it. It's the place where I personally feel most connected. And this is the place where I truly want everyone to feel that deep connection and, be it you call it to the Akashic records, or you call it to your higher self, or you call it to your ancestors. It's your preference that's your lens, that's okay. It's more so the concept of how do you get there to feel that deep connection to understand it and to most importantly, be able to action it with confidence.



[28:50] VL: I've never wanted to visit a library more! I'm like wow that sounds so fun this sounds like an adventure. You did mention asking powerful questions, can you give us some examples of what those powerful questions might be when we start to tap into or visit that Akashic Record library.


TM: So here's some basic powerful questions that people oftentimes are like, I will start people with asking if your souls 100% of your body. 


I know that sounds like a little bit of a strange question and people are like, what do you mean of course it's 100, like I'm breathing. And that comes out all the time. And I'm like, yeah but you know at the end of the day when we're dreaming, or we're sleeping or we're daydreaming. We're going to these other places, and having your soul 100% your body really helps you discern the messages that you get. The other thing that I asked. And I tell people ask is asking for 100% grounded, because we actually need to be 100% grounded to discern the messages they need to come through, hit the ground, come back up and they because essentially we're building a lexicon. We are, we are building our translation service with source with the records with our guide. And so if you're not grounded it's really hard to build that translation service.


So when I go into the record, simple questions that I get people that are powerful that I asked people to ask themselves are, are there any non beneficial energies in my space, or in my environment that need to be cleared, or dealt with.


Is there anything I can do to move the needle on whatever topic.


So those are the types of powerful questions. Another powerful question that I people underestimate is I will say to them, ask. Have you misinterpreted anything?


That's powerful. Perhaps your guides have been trying to get you to go left but you're just, I don't know you're just not maybe not understanding it and you keep going right.

Another thing I get them to ask is, have I missed any breadcrumbs? Because people often come in, they're like well I don't know the next step because, and they're they're in a tizzy and fury but we have to recognize that. Even me if I go into your record or my own records, I don't see this long winded drawn out path in front of me and being like, Oh my gosh, so golden. I might see two feet ahead, and I have the freewill choice to take those steps. I have to exercise my own discernment to take those steps, and then when I take a step forward. Boom. The next sort of yellow brick on the yellow brick road shows up and so powerful questions can start really simply by have I misinterpreted anything. I have I missed a breadcrumb. Am I misunderstanding anything. Is there anything that I'm missing. That is a huge one because sometimes we don't have all the information but we're trying to make this well rounded decision for ourselves. And it's like, actually hold on, you need to go and access, like, go work within this space, and we're gonna feed you a couple more ingredients in a few days. So, those are powerful questions that people under asked me on a regular basis.



[32:43] VL: Yeah, that's really interesting I don't think I've asked myself any of those questions before maybe the grounding one, which I was like no partner or no need to grab, like immediately put my feet on the floor.

But that is so interesting so when we're asking those powerful questions are, is that how we're accessing the Akashic Records is that where we do that.



TM: That's a good question. There's a lot of ways to access the Akashic records, and I'm just going to say that with everything I believe it's never one size fits all right so you may. Here's an example like I started taking a course, a day course, and then I read books by Linda Howe who's very proficient and like has profound access to the records and she has a pathway prayer. And so a lot of people will use the prayer I do believe that there is a lot of benefit in setting up a prayer intention. So the way I do it is I set an intention, I create a sacred container for myself, whoever I'm reading for. And so I have developed my own process. And this is why I tell people like you really have to try the tools and create. Consider the tools you know flour and sugar and salt and baking soda for cake and then you have to mix your own recipe that works best for you.

And I tell people all the time like again you're already there, it's that intention of going deeper and asking yourself different questions that, and I wouldn't even say different questions, if you're already asking yourself these questions and then all of a sudden, you're like hey I want to go into records, my friend did this actually she's like I've been listening to you all the time to talk about the record so I just told my guys like I want to go on the record, and I asked myself the same three questions and she's like, but what I experienced was the energy felt different. The responses came through with clarity, my yeses and noes were like, more punchy. So that's what I mean by that I do teach people how to access it I do make sure people through the record, and I do it one on one, because of this reason because I want you to find your way to do it. I want you to a find your way to access and be puncher there. I'm here to help you build your lexicon and your translation service but we are two unique souls my translation service is not the same as your translation service so I'm here to guide you to say okay. All right, so here's a great example of one of my mentorship students was reading my records and said I see brownie. I'm like, cool, love brownies. But what does that mean, does that mean comfort food does that mean because brownies to me is like, I love baked goods. That would be totally self care for me so I have to exactly kind of prompt her to What does brownies mean for you, so that you can help me understand that and then when you get there and you build that lexicon so now she knows if she sees brownies. It's a form of just doing something for yourself it's like I am numbing and self care at the same time like cool. The fact that I always talked about recipes in the end she was like, Oh, it's a recipe we have to put these things together. Got it. So, yeah, that's really how I kind of try to explain it to people that you do have access. You get to practice it and you get to feel the difference, and then understand what comes next understand the translation something.



[36:52] VL: I'm really glad you mentioned that because I am a Reiki practitioner as well and I, a long time ago I was really into dream interpretation, and, you know, I had a few books where I would look up what the different meanings were but one of the practitioners that I was working with, she was really encouraging me to create my own legit. Like that's great that the books as, you know, and orange and an apple on a couch mean this but what does it mean to you and me you know now I don't even look at those those books and those glossaries for dream journals because I think about okay well how did I feel and what did that mean for me and you know because I have a friend who hates snakes, but I really like snakes, so when I see a snake in a dream or in a reading or in a meditation. I think of that as like a really powerful energetic strength, and she like runs for the hills, because you're like, no, that's dangerous, that's a that's a no mine's like okay yes follow this, so I'm really glad that you mentioned that in kind of, you know, using the tools that everyone has to make their own recipe, whether it's cookies or brownies or cakes or however it comes out for us it's still, it's still the finished product is still the baked good. So, yeah. And like throughout this whole conversation I just, I'm there like I'm in the CN Tower library and I'm eating this brownie and I just feel like you really bring it into this tangible practical way which is huge on the show people love listeners love that kind of thing. So, yeah, this has been, this has been really great. You've touched on it a little bit. However, I did want to ask why it's so important to or why the Akashic records are so important to us.



TM: They are the endless possibilities, they that's it the energetic library you may have heard it before it can be referenced as the book of life. It is honestly, so important because it's a place that holds all possibility. 

So, we're always searching for answers or possibilities and I love it when people say like the answer is within you. Yeah, it is. It really is. It is unlocking that it is unlocking that and so when you can unlock the door to that library.

And I mean hey I'm of the of the, the era when we had the Dewey Decimal System at the library so I know what it meant to go in elementary school and like to actually go through, you know all the little papers to find okay this book is. And when I do readings for people. I will say to them okay if I go quiet, it's actually because it's like a Dewey Decimal System in my head.


Stop there ask this question to bootstrap there ask the question. And so that's the power of the records, the power of the record is really getting you to unlock that place of inner knowing with confidence. Yes, there are some foundational principles to put in it around that but everyone can access it and when they do and they can, there is this deep level of discernment that all of a sudden shows up and you're like wow I can actually really sit here and say, This is true for me, this is my truth, this is, you know, I feel confident in the way these answers and guidance, and my inner GPS is working so it's like the coolest library. And essentially, everyone is always accessing it, they just don't really ever maybe know that that's your intuition.



[40:58] VL: That's really cool. I never thought of it that way either. But now that you've said, I feel like this was part This has been part of my meditation practice for a long time.


TM: Yes. No. That is a good point. It has been part of your meditation practice for a long time because when we're sitting there we're like, Where's this coming from. It's coming from that realm, it's, it's, it's an energetic faith. And, you know, when you get responses and meditation actually I tell people this all the time, people say to me, oh you know I can't meditate, I'm gonna fall on it be honest, I don't meditate that much anymore because I just feel that connection that I have through meditation in other aspects. When I'm super overwhelmed. I will get back into meditation. But I will tell people, hey, ask yourself a question before you go into meditation, and it is quite game changing because what you're doing is you're actually accessing yes the record you're actually accessing source in your guide.

But then you have guidance, because when people tell me oh yeah well I did the meditation and I'm like great what came through what. Well, there's like a little bit of that and, well, if you don't go in and ask a question and you get all of these basically puzzle pieces that you don't know how they go together. It's because of that.

Set your, that's what people say set your intention that's why you will say as a yoga instructor Okay Is that your intention. That's exactly what you have to do is that your intention. So it's the same in the record set your intention your intention is what, what are you curious so what do you want to know about what guidance, do you want to know about and what you don't get an answer for what I tell people is to go back and ask, is that you're not going to tell me right now, because sometimes we don't get an answer and then we get you be discouraged, huh.



[43:00] VL: Yeah. Okay, this is, this is very interesting, and I you know what it's something that I, I, again and again I will always repeat this set the intention for whatever it is the practice for your meditation for your business or. Yeah, literally anything that started with intention start your day with intention, that's what I do every single morning.


So something that I wanted to ask was, is there anything that hasn't been said today that maybe I don't, because I don't know so much about the Akashic Records maybe I haven't asked it. Is there anything else about this topic that you want to share?



TM: Oh, that's a good question. Honestly, we've shared so far I've shared so much about it. And for me, I just really want everyone to feel that place of love and peace and confidence that can come from accessing that part of you that reaches into the records is really what it is. So, yes, it's a realm and yes you can read all these kinds of things about it and you can read people say that you know you need to do this, this and this to get into it and you need to, like, I'm the number one person that would like. The fact of the matter is that there are no secrets, there are no number one, there are everybody can access it, get in game the information. It's really about finding the tools and techniques that work for you.

And to consistently practice this is this is a practice spiritual practice development skill that we get to develop and when you kind of devote some time to it. I will say it's probably the greatest act of self care and self love you can ever give to yourself because it's not deep assurance that you can lean on yourself.



[48:18] VL: Yeah, as you're, as you're describing it, I like I just keep feeling and seeing the words confidence, and clarity, and it's like a very deep rooted like self confidence and clarity and self and it's cool to be able to almost like you're, you're unlocking this space but you're also. You're also embodying this empowerment within you.

Well this has been a really fascinating conversation. This is so great, it's very different from some of the other guests we've had, and a lot of new tools and techniques that you've shared so I really appreciate you taking the time to to chat with me today. Thank you so much. I'm so happy that we connected and to be here. Absolutely. Me too. So I do have a final segment that I call the rapid fire round, but before we get into that, I wanted you to share, where we can follow you where we can find you and how we can support your business?


Tara McCrory

WEBSITE | https://www.tarabmccrory.com

INSTAGRAM | @tara_mccrory

Book a call HERE


[48:05] RAPID FIRE ROUND

What are you currently reading? OR Favourite book?

Practical Magic by Alice Hoffman

The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield


What do you love most about being a woman?

TM: My body being in my body being empowered in my body. The movement of my body I know everything about me.


What does “empowerment” mean to you?

TM: It's a great question. Empowerment means to me is to really be confident and at ease, and at one with who you are, where you go in knowing yourself. Empowerment truly for me, energetically sovereign and connected to my deepest sense of being.


What are you currently working toward?

TM: I know that I'm really here to guide people, and having left a very conventional corporate world and started something completely different. I'm really here to guide and show people how to connect in and do that for themselves, and that is what I work towards. Every single day

 
Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E120: Q&A: Personal Development
 
 

E120: Q&A: Personal Development

A new Q&A episode diving into Personal Development. Learn from my examples, and also this week I have questions FOR YOU…


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[00:07] This week’s sponsor of the Women’s Empowerment Podcast is my Healthy Habits Workshop. These are monthly themed workshops that help you go from overwhelm to clarity so you can build healthy lifestyle and essential oil habits and find the routine that works best for you. Each workshop is live, virtual and on the first wednesday of every month.


I am Valerie LaVigne, your Habit Mentor, and I’m on a mission to help you make healthy habits, keep those promises to yourself, and change your life one small change at a time. If you’re interested in learning more, visit https://www.valerielavignelife.com/workshops today.

PART ONE: Questions You’ve asked ME

[3:22] LAURA: How do you keep yourself motivated to keep up with all your routines?

Habit Tracker (download my free Habit Tracker Guide!)
Schedule you habits/goals into your calendar
Get an accountability buddy
Hire a coach/mentor (check out my Mentorship Program here!)
Set milestone prizes/gifts
Have a healthy competition with friends
Share goals + progress to socials

[8:40] KAYLIE: What are your top 3 self-improvement book suggestions?

The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy

The Happiness Advantage by Shawn Achor

Becoming Supernatural by Dr. Joe Dispenza

[11:57] CANDICE: What is your proudest accomplishment?

Buying Exhale Pilates in 2020! www.exhalepilates.ca, instagram @exhalepilates

[16:47] CANDICE: An instance/period of time that you thought was rough but ended up being a blessing and helped guide you to the right path/an important change?

2009: Getting mono and leaving university 

Episode 58: Speak Your Truth with the Throat Chakra

2013: Getting fired from my first yoga job

2016: That time quit my full time teaching gig, left my family, and partner, and I bought a one-way ticket to Guatemala - I had no idea what I was doing and there were some tough times along the trip and during those times it really didn’t make sense to me why I was there

2020: The Pandemic

[23:38] PART TWO: Questions for YOU!

  1. Are my current habits and goals aligned with my long-term goals?

  2. Are my mental and physical health a priority?

  3. Am I surrounded by supportive and empowering people?

  4. Am I getting out of my comfort zone enough?

  5. What am I afraid of? Why do I think I’m afraid of it?

  6. Am I making enough time for play, fun, love, and/or peace?

Ask your questions here and I will answer them in the podcast and/or on instagram @vallavignelife

 

Download the FREE Habit Tracker Guide

Val LaVigne Life - Habit Tracker Guide
Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E118: Emotions & Essential Oils
 
 

E118: Emotions & Essential Oils

Learn how essential oils are powerful healers, where and how to use them, plus the best oils to support your emotions and healing…


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[00:32] Essential Oils as Powerful Emotional Healers

Learn how I use essential oils every day on instagram @vallavignelife

I only trust dōTERRA’s CPTG Essential Oils Certified Pure Therapeutic Grade

From sourcing to distilling, to bottling and packaging, and all the way to delivering the bottle to your doorstep.

[4:35] My journey into essential oils

dōTERRA’s AromaTherapy Collection

💗 Passion “inspiring blend”

🧡 Motivate “encouraging blend”

💛 Cheer “uplifting blend”

💚 Forgive “renewing blend”

💙 Peace “reassuring blend”

💜 Console “comforting blend”

[9:18] 5 Stages of Healing

  1. EOs assist in healing the physical body: some oils are 40-60 times more potent than herbs. As we know herbs, and oils, have been part of health and healing for centuries. They have been known to assist the body in purifying organs, glands, and balancing body functions.

  2. EOs assist in healing the heart: oils enter the emotional realm and help us vibrate at a higher frequency. This can also mean bringing up past emotional pain that we might have suppressed in the past. So it’s important to move through a cycle of receiving the emotion and releasing it. This can be a process, especially if we’ve kept things down for a while. Now listen. Oils aren’t doing the (sometimes hard) work for us. They support us in doing the work openly and honestly.

    E49: Raising Your Vibration with Essential Oils

  3. EOs assist in releasing limiting beliefs: these are the deeply rooted beliefs found in our subconscious. They are usually not true. They hold us back, and they are almost alway unhelpful. Essential oils bring awareness to our emotional patterns. Then it helps us release them and replace them with positive beliefs.

    E81: 5 Tips for Positive Self Talk

  4. EOs assist increase spiritual awareness and connection: On this podcast we talk a lot about personal development and we also get into a lot of spirituality. In a previous episode I also shared that the way I like to interpret a lot of the woo-work and information is that it’s an extension and a type of personal development. A lot of personal development is very spiritual and can be tough work.

  5. EOs assist inspire the fulfillment of our life’s purpose.

[15:40] Locations of Application

INSIDE ELBOW CREASES

- for sadness + grief 

- when applied here, oils quickly enter lungs + heart

- experience sensation of chest openings + feeling lighter


Suggested Oils: Rose, Siberian Fir, Cheer Blend, Console Blend

INSIDE WRIST CREASES

- similar to elbow creases

- easy + accessible location to apply oils 

- runs to chest and heart

Suggested Oils: Wild Orange, Green Mandarin, Peace Blend, Lavender

INSIDE FOREARMS

- for instant change to emotional state 

- roll up + down, both sides

- oils will quickly circulate throughout the body

Suggested Oils: Motivate Blend, Magnolia, Lemongrass

BACK OF NECK/SPINE

- for mental clarity 

- quick way for oils to get to the brain


Suggested Oils: Tangerine, Douglas Fir, Basil. Copaiba, Lavender, Peppermint, Frankincense (head tension)

OVER THE HEART

- for coping with heartache + disappointment 

- on sternum


Suggested Oils: Rose, Neroli, Forgive Blend, Console Blend, Peace Blend

AROUND BELLY BUTTON

- for protection + boundaries 

- for increase in immune system function


Suggest Oils: On Guard blend, Ginger, Eucalyptus, Motivate Blend, Passion Blend

UP + DOWN MIDLINE OF BELLY

- for self-confidence + self worth

- many serotonin receptors here that contribute to feelings of happiness + self esteem

Suggested Oils: Green Mandarin, Copaiba, Cinnamon. DigestZen/XenGest

Dilute your essential oils with a Carrier oil, my favourite: Fractionated Coconut Oil

BOTTOMS OF FEET

- for calmness and grounding 

- popular for applying oils

Suggested Oils: Balance Blend, Peace Blend, Forgive Blend

INHALE FROM HANDS

- sends aromatic compounds to the brain and shifts our entire chemistry

Any and all oils can be inhaled from the bottle for from the hands (1-2 drops on the palms)

[22:50] Using Essential Oils for your Own Practice

What is your body craving? We tend to gravitate to the oils that we need

Shop oils at wholesale price HERE!

Shopping with this link connects you to me so that I can help you with your essential oil journey. Have questions? Message me on instagram @vallavignelife

 
Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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Health & WellnessVal LaVigne
E117: Evening Transitions for Better Sleep
 
 

E117: Evening Transitions for Better Sleep

Create an evening routine with transitions for sleep to help you wind-down at the end of the day using healthy habits and rituals.


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[00:32] Hi I’m Val, podcast host + Healthy Habits Mentor!

[2:46] Most common complaint about difficulty going to bed is stress + anxiety

[3:14] Reverse enginer your evening routine

Syart with what time you want to wake up?

How many hours of sleep you need?

How long does your evening routine take?

[5:14] Set alarms or reminders to notify you of your transitions into wind-down time

[5:44] My best/most important suggestion: TURN OFF TECH

[7:24] Sleepy Time Tea/ Tea Ritual

Choose herbal or sleep supportive teas (lavender, chamomile)

Create your own thoughtful tea ritual that helps you become more mindful, slow down your day, become more present and calm in the simple task/habit

[8:37] Incorporating and Elevating Your current evening routines

How can you make them more mindful?

How can you slow down the routines and habits you already have?

[10:07] Mindful movement

Yoga, stretching, mediation

Music, white noise, etc.

[10:28] Combine your routines and rituals together

examples: Tea + meditation; music + bath; stretch + aromatherapy

OIL HACK: for restless legs - use 1-2 drops of cedar wood on the soles of your feet + ankles + calves before bed

[11:00] Incorporating Evening Routines with your Partner

Intimacy, connection, support, communication

[12:00] Read a book! Journal, or write your to-do list

[13:52] Creating Your Sleep Oasis

Turndown ritual

Set the lighting

Set up your diffuser blends

Oils for sleep:

  • Lavender

  • Vetiver

  • Roman Chamomile

  • Cedarwood

  • Serenity (Restful Blend)

  • Balance (Grounding Blend)

  • Breathe aka Easy Air (Respiratory Blend)

  • Peace (Reassuring Blend)

[16:00] Aura cleansing with Oils

Serenity, lavender, peace blend, rose, vetiver: Apply over forehead, back of neck, top of head, massage and.or sweep hands around the head

Choose the oils that make you feel calm, centred, and slow you down

[18:15] Habit Swapping

What are you currently doing during your evening routine? Which of those habits do you want to swap for something new?

Example: move the phone/charger to the bathroom and place a book beside your bed

Place a candle beside your toothbrush and light your candle while you brush your teeth

[20:50] Set yourself up for success by making the transitions, making the evening routines easier for you!

Let’s connect on instagram @vallavignelife

Sleepy Diffuser Blends1.png
Sleepy Diffuser Blends2.png
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Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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Health & WellnessVal LaVigne
E113 Staying Motivated with Your Healthy Habits
 
 

E113 Staying Motivated with Your Healthy Habits

Learn about the methods and tools I use as a Healthy Habits Coach, uses to stay consistent with all kinds of habit goals to elevate health, wealth, and lifestyle…


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Join the Empowered Community on Instagram @vallavignelife


[1:16] Question: How do we stay motivated with our healthy habits?

Habit forming takes time, it’s dependent on the person (and the habit!)


[2:00] Investigate past success

What has worked for you before?

Want to increase your habit by 95%? Hire a Coach! 

Interested in working with me? Check out my Make a Habit Mentorship Program HERE


Do you like tracking your habit? Get the free Habit Tracker today! (see the side column for the download)


[4:45] Habit Stacking

This is a great way to create new habits, use this method to build on your current habits in routine.

Every morning I make coffee. I wanted to create more mindfulness so I created a “Morning Coffee Ritual” that helps me be more mindful, present, and sets an intention for how I want to feel for the day. 


We all have habits already, what habits do you currently have, and how did they form? How are you staying consistent with it? Can you incorporate your new habit with an existing habit?


[7:48] Habit Triggers

These help us simplify and support our habit more.

How can you set yourself up for success with your habit; how can you make DOING your habit easier?


Simplify: more often than not creating a new habit is more complicated than it needs to be. Notice if you’re creating a really big overreaching habit in the beginning. It’s important to start small so that we can work our way to the bigger goals.

Remember that habits form over time, we want to be successful right away, in the beginning. Set realistic and easy habits right away.


Commitment is doing the thing you said you were going to do, after the mood you set it in has left.


Supporting your habit: Think about what you will need to do your habit every day. Prep for your habit by collecting the things you need and getting them ready or putting them into the places where you’re going to use them.

Morning coffee habit with new journaling exercises? Put you journal and coffee mug with the coffee maker - and a pen!

Daily workout habit? Grab your equipment + clothes and have them ready for you when you’re doing your workout.


[13:18] Apps + Supportive tools

Meditation: Insight Timer

Favourite Meditation Teacher: Sarah Blondin

Water: Hidrate App + Hidrate Bottle

Language learning: Duolingo

Apple Health App 


Essential oils I use before working:

dōTERRA’s ADAPTIV “Calming Blend”

dōTERRA’s Balance “Grounding Blend”

dōTERRA’s Motivate “Motivating Blend’

dōTERRA’s Passion “Inspiring Blend”


[14:55] Celebrating + Milestones

The apps I use have fun “badges, stickers, trophies” for when I am consistent with using the app and doing my daily habits

Celebrate day one! Day seven, Day thirty, and more! Celebrate every day. Write out these dates in your planner/calendar.

There are so many ways to celebrate: prize, sticker, gift, party, bottle of champagne, gourmet donut, shopping spree, cash money!


My Make a Habit Mentorship client, Aashima, is working out 3 times per week, and after one month she wants to buy a new workout outfit!


The prize is motivating you, and the prize CAN ALSO motivate you to keep going - assuming it supports your habit.


[19:12] What happens when we “fall off the horse” with our habits?

Short answer: If at first you don’t succeed, dust yourself off and try again.


Episode 111: Create Habits Based on Your Core Values with Deanne Frances

#1 Come back to Your Intention: Why did you start the habit in the first place? How do you want to feel? When you reconnect to the feelings of WHY you started, you’ll be motivated to get back on track.


#2 Start Small: Set a super small goal you KNOW you can achieve, like one workout this week. Then build to two the next week, and three after that. This is helping you build your confidence.


MOMENTUM Roller Blend Recipe 

12 drops Eucalyptus
5 drops Douglas Fir
5 drops Marjoram
3 drops Patchouli
2 drops Lavender
1 drop Cinnamon
1 drop Cypress
1 drop Arborvitae
3 drops Lime
1 drop Ylang Ylang

Add to a 10 ml roller bottle + top with Fractionated Coconut Oil


#3 Celebrate Milestones: Since habits are formed over time, it’s helpful to set up points to celebrate the success. Get excited about your habit again and put notes in your planner/calendar of how you will celebrate when you reach your milestone.


#4 Re-Evaluate Your Habit: Perhaps your intention is in the right place, but the habit isn’t working for you. Or maybe it’s the time of day; the complexity of your habit; or something else! Looks that the reasons why it’s not getting done, and how you can get back on track with your habit and success.


[26:20] #5 Invest in a Coach: Having a coach to hold you accountable increases your chance of success by 95%! In my Make a Habit Mentorship Program we get clear on your goal, and I help you form your new habit in our four weeks together.


Next steps: 

Download the FREE Habit Tracker Guide

Check out my Make a Habit Mentorship Program here to see if it’s right for you

 

Download the FREE Habit Tracker Guide

Val LaVigne Life - Habit Tracker Guide
Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E112: Style as Self Care: the Comfy-Chic Formula
 
 

E112: Style as Self Care: the Comfy-Chic Formula with Sarah Peel

Meet Sarah Peel of Citizenne Style & Home, as she teaches us how to shop our closets, take better care of our clothes, and create self care practices through style in her holistic lifestyle guide: Citizenne At Home…


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[00:26] Valerie LaVigne: You're listening to the women's empowerment podcast, and today I have a very special guest, Sarah Peel on the show. Sarah is a teacher, sustainable fashion educator stylist and advocate for healthy and creative living from 2009 to 2018, she worked with fashion takes action doing whatever needed to get done to run a small but nimble social enterprise, connecting sustainability, human rights, and the fashion industry. Her main joy was creating curriculum, teaching and managing a team of workshop leaders who delivered the my close my world program to over 9000 grade four to 12 students in the Greater Toronto Area. During that time she took a personal interest in learning, studying skills that could help other women bridge the gap between creative self expression, and the perceived notion that a sustainable wardrobe could not be stylish. In 2017 she co founded citizens' with another stylist and personal life coach. So it is its primary focus is to inspire women to become an uprising of everyday influencers for good using their own closet and authentic self expression style is therefore not just an end result, but also a powerful tool to transform lives society and the planet in in a hopeful direction. So doesn't focuses on creating resources, programs, and community to help them and explore personal style, alongside building an ethical and sustainable wardrobe.

Sarah thank you so much for joining me today on the women's empowerment show. It's an absolute pleasure to have you on the podcast.


Sarah Peel: Thank you so much for having me as a guest, I know that many of your episodes. It was not usual for you to have guests so I feel really honored to be here, and also just want to congratulate you on your 20,000 downloads of the podcast that is super exciting, and a real testament to the work that you're doing.


VL: Thank you so much, the recognition means a lot I remember that oh we're almost at 20,000 downloads to my boyfriend he goes. So what do you get for that like an award.


SP: Actually, just validation from the outside world.


[2:42] VL: Exactly. As I talked about it a lot, having a podcast is, it can be a little bit isolating especially when you don't have a lot of guests on the show you're just talking into a microphone you're hoping people are listening and downloading and to see the numbers grow it's been it's been quite an honor and I'm very proud of the work that we're doing and I'm excited to have more people like you on the show I'm honestly I've been really looking forward to this conversation because I know you and I have really similar passions, about style about the environment, so I'm excited to get into some of the methods and methods that you share.

And one of the themes actually that you advocate on is how you're using style as self care, this is something that I'm really excited to learn more about can you tell us more about what this means.


[3:36] SP: Well often I think we've been programmed to think of style as something we do to keep up with trends to look a certain way, but especially now, and in context, you know for future listeners of this podcast. We are in the middle of probably a second wave of the covid 19 pandemic and people are what I noticed as of the spring is that people started to talk about dressing in a very different way. And I had already had this practice of prepping my wardrobe. The night before, and even a week in advance so that it could be part of a healthy.

Simple morning routine that made me feel vital and ready for the day. So that I wasn't spending a lot of time stressing about what I was going to wear and going through three different outfits and then ending up feeling like as I left the house flexed and rushed. So I already had that practice of dressing as part of a routine, as a way of getting myself out the door in a peaceful mindset and ready to face the day. But when the pandemic hit and we were at home.

There was a shift it was less of like.

It was everything was about comfort. And, I mean, I went through this the first two weeks where it was hardly really getting dressed and I felt terrible. And I was like, you know, I think that getting dressed, even though you're not leaving the house is still really important. So, what people need is comfort.

Surely we have more options than our pajama bottoms yoga pants leggings and slippers. Surely there is in our closets where there's like 80% of what we don't wear. Surely there are other options in there that could be considered comfortable and would help us to feel still like we feel like we had some variety and some pizzazz which I would call chic and so I've developed a system a formula for starting the day called the comfy chic form.

And really style is at the core of this daily routine, but it's about more than just getting dressed. And so this is how it goes. It's very simple.

Get up, whenever whenever you do get up. Not everybody gets it I'm an I'm a more of an early morning person so I get up.

But now when people are working from home. Sometimes kids are at home. And so your day has to be really early and other times you're a single person or you just have one other person you're living with. So you could be getting a Petunia regardless. When you get up and you're starting your day. Move.

So, trigger your body to get the blood flowing, breathe, that as the basis is starting to make you feel comfy, to feel good in your skin, because that's the best the best first first layer of your of your outfit is feeling good in your body. So move.

Doesn't have to be long, it could be like 20 minutes have something, meditate or pray. So that's the mindset and also just soul care as well. And then get dressed enough comfy basically oh no groom yourself, basic, you do not have to have full makeup, although sometimes that's depending on who you are, that could be a form of self care maybe that just makes you feel good. I know that often putting on a bright lipstick is a pop of color, helps me feel good, but just wash at very basic level, do something with your hair, wash your face.

Just to create because even, you know the early days of the lockdown people just kind of like gave up taking care of themselves in that way so groom yourself, basic put on a comfy base layer. And I'm encouraging people to think about comfy.

And in a different kind of way. Think about all the things that you have in your before virus closet that are natural fibers that fit in well that you don't they don't make you feel pinched that you can move around in that flow and put those on.

And then chic it up somewhere.

And the the idea around being chic is not extremely motivated at all by trends or anything it's like what brings you joy. Is it colorful scarf. Is it a new way of doing your hair because you're really tired of being at home and you need some variety.

Like, this is the perfect time to play. You're not leaving the home. So you want to do something really like you want to do, Princess Leia ones. Go ahead. Like, there's no one to laugh at you just see if you like it and actually this could be in time to actually play with your clothes in a way that you've never done before because you've been very concerned about what other people would think.

And you lack the confidence to mix patterns or, you know, stack jewelry. And this is a time to kind of play with it, and build your confidence in that.

So that's that's the basic formula. Move, meditate or pray. Take care of your, your appearance, some basic grooming healthy base layer and then shake it up.

And I actually found that as I was doing this and I was trying to. Also I was starting to write about what the process was so we're being very mad about company chic routine.

I found that the days when I didn't do it.

When I was just like, Okay, you know what, I'm just gonna leave this for a couple of days, I would then be like, oh, What's wrong, why do I feel so off. It was like you know what, I didn't get dressed this morning.

It's just reinforcing that this was, I was on to something really good, and I'm not the only one. I'm not the only stylist who's been talking about, you know, COVID sheep or there's, there's a number of different hashtags out there. But yeah, so I really wanted to build on this idea of style as a means of self care and style, not, it's not focused on trends. This is about.

What brings you joy what makes you feel vital. What helps you express who you are. And that really is what style is all about fashion is a trend style is it up showing up as your true self. 

That's a quote. That's a, not an exact quote of Oscar de la Renta.


[11:36] VL: I love this method so much and I remember meeting you around that time during the pandemic when you were like, yes I'm creating this compensation formula. And I thought, this is so brilliant This is exactly what I need because as you're saying these things I feel like a dog with a tail between his legs, I am like, Yeah, I don't think I shaved for a long time I don't think that I got showered but you know it was a very because I had to do a type of thing and then at one point I was like, Do I really have to do it and then I just was wearing sweat pants, same sweater and I just felt really blonde it was I was getting down and it was, things were tough and there was so much, you know that that weirdness and I didn't know what was happening, it was it was a very unpredictable time and, and I started to lose the hair in self care and self a little bit too, to be honest.

But as someone who I, I definitely move so movement was a huge part of my everything myself care my daily routine it has been always, and even I started losing that a little bit too. So, like I'm not I'm not just saying I'm the only person that did this I know a lot of people who, who felt this way, in 2020, but you know you get to this point where you have to admit, and we talked about this a little bit before we record is that you have to admit when things aren't going right and you got to stop doing what you're currently doing if you want to.

But as someone who I, I definitely move so movement was a huge part of my everything myself care my daily routine it has been always, and even I started losing that a little bit too. So, like I'm not I'm not just saying I'm the only person that did this I know a lot of people who, who felt this way, in 2020, but you know you get to this point where you have to admit, and we talked about this a little bit before we record is that you have to admit when things aren't going right and you got to stop doing what you're currently doing if you want to.

I think that I need to be more motivated to do this because I'll get on like a little bit of a train I'm like okay, yeah, I'm going to do this every day. I'm going to feel really good in my body I'm going to I'm going to really intentionally pick my wardrobe.

Tell us how we can motivate ourselves a little bit more in the mornings to do this because I'm an early morning person too, but I also have a lot going on and at the back of my mind and like, I don't really need to get dressed and do anything because I'm working from home today and I'm so busy that I don't want to make the time to help me stay motivated.


[14:23] SP: There is a free download of the comfy chic formula. And also a program that leads to where we, you know, gave like 10 basic tips for putting for integrating the company sheet formula into your life. And then there's actually a template. So, are you a planner, many people are their planners like to write things down in notebooks or apps.I think the act of writing things down sometimes.

I'm an old fashioned girl in this, in this way I think there is something very key about actually writing something down on a piece of paper, they do I think studies show that there's a brain connection, in a way that's different than putting something in your online calendar. So to write things down. Even if it's now, I've been doing this wardrobe prepping for at three years now.

A day or two in advance. As a beginner move and just write down in a notebook. You don't have to download our planner or anything like that it's, it's just a way of stating, or being intentional by writing it down, and then taking a look in your closet for those things are they available to you are they clean Are they ready, like do you need to wash them. Putting them aside, maybe on a hook on the back of your bedroom door so they're available to us so that it's easy to get them.

And so that's something you would do the night before, when you get up in the morning, even if it's a really busy day, especially when we're working from home, or even if we're working outside of the home right now like just having that anchor and anchor point when things are so unpredictable in this world to have something that is predictable. Is it just allows your brain and your body to breathe deeper, because you're not.

You're not adding another layer of decision making.

You know you're cutting down on the decision making, that you have to do at the beginning of the day. And if you are working from home, sometimes the work life balance. Like there is none everything flows into everything else. And then the deep part of the lockdown. You know my husband and I would say is it Wednesday was it Sunday.

Like, what time of the day is it like we were going to bed at 3am and getting up at 10am.

So, having, and we're not really writing. Beyond that right now. But having that those two acres of like at the end of the day, being ready for your day, when you get up in the morning, because, you know, everything is kind of laid out and ready for you. And at the beginning of the day when you wake up to have that anchor of the movement, meditation, basic grooming.


[17:51] VL: Yeah, I think this is so important. I love how you kind of you chunk it down a little bit so when you were first talking about how you plan your week in advance, I'm thinking, oh that's very interesting because I am a planner. I do like to write things down but I think personally for me it's just about taking the time to open the closet and see okay what's going on here, what can I start, what would I like to wear what do I love and maybe I don't wear it all the time.

But it's comfortable and it's chic and it's amazing and, and, I think, Well you've definitely inspired me I feel like this is what I want to do this. After this call.

And that's awesome, awesome things together because. The other thing is I remember this was years ago when I was really into money mindset was you know you want to dress like the future you have the million dollar view, and they ask questions like what the million dollar or with a millionaire salary be in their bed working on their on their business from their computer, and maybe maybe they aren't maybe that's part of the lifestyle that you like but maybe it's not the way you see yourself as a millionaire so that millionaire is at a desk, and so then I was like oh, I'm gonna invest in a desk because I don't want to be that person who is working from their back. And then the other questions were like, what are they wearing Look what do they look like how do they hold themselves, and you really start to be more intentional intentional about what you how you are, how you are presenting yourself every day your gravity tasks, your style. Your attitude and it comes out a lot in your fashion and in your style and what you're wearing. And it's such like it's such an important reminder but we've totally lost this and funny with the lockdown and with all these things happening because it was so easy so easy just to say who cares about it. 


[19:58] SP: Yeah, that's so interesting. How about losing yourself and how the act of dressing for yourself to care for yourself but also with, you know, a creative flair that is uniquely you is self is self reinforcing is reinforcing this is who I am. Especially when the things that we would normally rely on are topsy turvy. This is something you can control.

And there's another yep there's another reason I'm just, I mean of course I've thought of this before but in context of this conversation, it's like yes, there's so many things that you cannot control right now that you have no choice over. This is something that you choose this is something that you can control.


VL: Absolutely. And when we talk about style and self care, and we look at what self care is it's taking the time taking the having the intention to care for yourself because you are basically you're showing up in your worth. So, when you are practicing self care, it's when you feel your best and when you are like is that reinforcing it, you're reinforcing the worth of who you are and what you are and that changes your energy so much. And like I said I have like I personally lost that I lost part of myself because I wasn't caring for myself in this way, I was focusing so much on all of the other moving pieces of my life and I was trying to control things that I couldn't control anymore things that were changing so quickly. And what I should have been doing, you know should have been doing, and don't should on yourself I know right so what I could have been doing like going a little bit more internal and saying, Okay, I'm going to take this time to to really focus on me to focus on what I need and and what my body needs and what my mindset needs the movement the meditation. The grooming, the comfy chic formula that you've created it's, it's the perfect framework for an every day.

Like reset into who we are. And I know that so when I was in grade 11 in high school, I really wanted to be in fashion I want to be in fashion. I love the fashion industry like loved it. And there's a lot of reasons why I didn't get into it, but one of the things that kind of deterred me away from it was, at the time, I was learning about fast fashion and just really didn't agree with the whole thing. And then I kind of was like, Okay, well, what's a sustainable way which wasn't the word at the time, because that's not what I was learning, but I was thinking like, okay, while I was learning about like hemp fabric basically, this is a long time ago. Anyway, and when I looked at people who were, you know, reducing reusing or recycling, that kind of thing. It was just the clothes were ugly and I didn't. It did not resonate with me I did not love the style that was kind of the trending eco friendly fabrics and all the things at the time. However, I was really in to thrifting, and not only was it a really fun way for me to express myself and be very different because that was a huge part of my identity, growing up, especially in high school was, I'm very different from other people and I, I showed that in the way that I dressed. But what was so interesting is that I'd had people come up to me and say wow this is such a cool shirt or such cool sweater where'd you get these jeans. Oh my god, your outfit looks so amazing but it's so unique and different I could never wear something like that. And my answer was always I thrift a bit, and it's all about the confidence. If you're not sure about putting something on. Just be as confident as you possibly can and you are going to rock it and I know that when I'm wearing sweatpants and my hair is I've been a messy bun. I'm not always feeling my most confidence.

But however, that being said, there are times when I am wearing sweat pants and my hair is up


[23:40] SP:  unless you choose it, like, Are you being intentional about like this is this the day to be in my sweatpants and messy back. Yes, instead of it happening to you, by default, you're choosing. Exactly, exactly. And I really let me kind of kind of go back to what you said about how confidence is is like the greatest beauty aid. Like, it doesn't matter if it's on trend in style, or if it clashes somewhat or it's a bit unusual. When you are, let's say you're you're wearing something that's not one of your colors or is, you're not wearing clothes that and there's a. And I do believe in formulas sometimes if they serve you, but I'm referencing like some shopping you're wearing clothes that are appropriate for your body shape.

Let's say you want to wear something that's, you know, not in line with what your body shape is but you love it you love that color or that shape. Use you show up, and you look awesome, because it's the style is coming from something that's inside of you.

Yeah. also great thing about experimenting going back to the opportunity to play with the clothes in your closet. And these times when we're working from home to just experiment and see like how do you feel at the end of the day when you have like worn two patterns together. Did you feel fun, like in. So it could you, you could use this opportunity for those baby steps of building your creative dressing muscles.

Can I talk about what I'm wearing today?


[26:30] VL: Yes, I was just gonna say please tell me what you're wearing because you have this stunning necklace on, and I get it, we have to get a picture of you in this outfit so I can put on the show notes.


SP: So I got dressed according to the company chic formula this morning, and I feel like I'm also wearing a sustainable outfit, but it's not maybe what you might think. So I'm wearing a Navy turtleneck. It's November weather's starting to get cold. But like a turtleneck. This is from a Canadian brand called cotton kayo tm, and all of their cotton is organically grown and Fairtrade from a couple of specific farms in Egypt. So love to can like there's so many great things that like fair trade people are paid a fair wage.It's organic, and it's a Canadian small it's like an independent rent.

And then I have a necklace that is also. It's from just one, it's just another Canadian small Canadian brand. This woman works directly with Ugandan and Kenyan artisans women who have often been in the sex trade and who are learning a skill, and these are paper based beads. I love this necklace because it's like, it's so simple, it's so light but it's like such a statement peace, and for a week. See me like you're gonna have a picture in the show notes, but it's like it's like a breastplate of beads. So it's often something that's in regular rotation in my wardrobe. 

And then I have a pair of jeans on there dark denim skinny jeans. Okay there from the gap. which people wouldn't shock. If you know from the sustainable and ethical point of view but let me tell you, I am buying these because the pair of jeans I had before to death. I needed a new pair of jeans, I'm on a budget. I bought them on sale, but I didn't. I'm not over consuming on sale shopping. I mean I think that's the important part, I do not, I'm over feeling guilt about shopping occasionally and fast fashion brand, I think it's really is the amount that we shop fast fashion. And the fact that we don't care for clothes that we do have, once we buy them.

So the other thing that's kind of sustainable about these is that they didn't fit me when they arrived in the mail. And I took them to my tailor so that she could do something called a waist and seat. It's like a basically a big talk at the back. And these skinny jeans as you. I'm sure all of your listeners have had this experience when you get a pair of skinny jeans, and they within 30 minutes they start falling off your body, because the spandex stretches. Anyways, these pants feel great on me because I don't ever have to hoist them up.

So, I will wear them.

And also, just as a note about gap. gap is one of the brands that is on a path forward sure they're still fast fashion brands, there's so many things that could be doing, way, way, way better, but it's better than shopping forever 21 for example.

And then I have a pair of leopard sneakers on that are just fun, and they are not from a sustainable brand I bought them at winners. They're just fun, and they're One of the things that I put, I wear regularly. When I just you know how Papa fun. I don't have a huge collection of sneakers, but I have this one pair, that's, you know, leopard.


[30:00] VL: Oh my gosh, I've been looking for a cool pair of sneakers like that so I'm gonna have to check winners out. 


Well, Sarah, this has been such a great conversation I want to get into our final segment of the show but before we do let us know where we can find you where we can follow you and how we can support your business.


SP: Well you can find me on Instagram at citizen, Sarah. and you will find my wholehearted life their business, home, cats, all the things that I'm up to, and I'd love to interact with you there. And in the links you'll actually find a way to find citizen at home, and all the other things that I'm working on


VL: very amazing tell us a little bit more about Citizen at Home


[31:02] SP: Citizenne at Home is a life and style program to help us thrive. While we are surviving. Not just surviving but thriving in this pandemic so we have developed skills from the first lockdown, but we're exhausted. We're totally exhausted with this drill. And in some ways we need a little bit of a reminder of what we can do with our habits, which I know you love to talk about our daily routines that just help us feel good in, in our bodies, and I would like to say that the foundations for a great outfit are like feeling good in your skin so the comfy chic formula, which is the foundation to the course but then from there we talk about self care. We think about budgeting, because our, you know in our lives. We've our economy is totally being stressed out. You don't hear my cat running around in the background.

We've been totally our finances have been stretched and stressed. And so having a household budget is a great way to do that. And, of course, clothing budget is a part of that, everything, all the different parts of citizen at home.

Have style at the core. And then we look at, you know, the homes, the places that we are living and how to address clutter and specifically the clutter that's in our closets so that we can enjoy our spaces as if they are like a waste disease. And finally, how to make an impact with your closet during these times it's kind of hard to understand what we have the power to make a difference on especially if we're stuck at home, but your clothes are a great place to start. So kind of looks at all of those components, you can do it in two weeks, or two months. You can do it as a self study, or you can do it with two hours of 30 minutes sessions with me. So that's the VIP coaching aspect.


VL: It sounds like the comfy chic formula we talked about today just expanded into so many more facets of our wardrobe and obviously our home and our lifestyle so I really like how you're bringing in this, this, education, and this quality of a more holistic lifestyle I think this is exactly when we need to get to 2021, I just. It sounds like the coffee chic formula we talked about today just expanded into so many more facets of our wardrobe and obviously our home and our lifestyle so I really like how you're bringing in this, this, education, and this quality of a more holistic lifestyle I think this is exactly when we need to get to 2021, I just.

And I'm kind of cringing right now because I definitely have to take care of. So, this sounds like a great starting point to you. Absolutely. You're right on with the, you know, taking a holistic approach to living with style at the core.

I love that well said so we can find that in your Instagram at the link in the bio I'll also put it in the show notes for today's episode, which will be available at Valerie living life.com, forward slash Sarah with an H. And our final round is our rapid fire round, I Oh, wait.


SP: ait I wanted to mention that I'd like to offer a 30% discount to your listeners, and you can get that using the code EMPOWERMENT30 go to link: Citizenne At Home


RAPID FIRE ROUND

[35:17] What are you currently reading or what is your favourite book?

SP: So, I am reading through whole bunch of fashion magazines, from the fall issues but also the you know the first issues of 2021. Specifically, when Black Lives Matter and the anti racist movement. 

Just rose up during the summer, and continues, really wanted to look at how that was playing out in the fashion scene. Especially, and there's of course a sub conversation happening around the sustainable fashion movement, and just really it's been very interesting to me to find the critique and the way forward. Around representation, not just for black people but black indigenous and people of color so I've been looking at the issues that I've been talking about that. And then for fun, but also it's in satire I am reading a book called self care by Lee Stein. And it's great, it's about a self care influencer who's life just goes wrong.

And it really makes you laugh at the self care industry is this a kind of bougie instagrammable thing, and makes you ask that question like what is true self care. So I've been enjoying reading that.


BOOK: Self Care by Leigh Stein

[37:57] What does empowerment mean to you?

SP: This is a great question. I think that it means for women's specifically the freedom to try things. And to fail, without that crush of not being enough. Well you failed because you're not enough, you're not good enough. And I think there's a lot of pressure on women to be perfect, or to do all the things. And when we're truly empowered by ourselves by the people around us. We have the freedom to just try it and see where it goes. We have the freedom to be curious. when we're truly empowered by ourselves by the people around us. We have the freedom to just try it and see where it goes. We have the freedom to be curious.


[39:06] What do you love most about being a woman?

SP: I'm going to say, the adaptability. And that kind of like endless creativity of the daily practice, you think of women, and what they do to make life happen around them they're usually the people who, organizing, and this is, you know, we share this with men and our partners, for sure. But women are usually the ones who are organizing the home menus social events.

All the things to do with their kids. And that's a creative act. And you have to be incredibly adaptable, as well. And I think, I mean, who's to say I'm not, I'm not gonna say we're better at it than men. But the women that I know are way more flexible and can handle, thinking about four or five different things at a time. Sometimes it gets too much so there's a flip side to this, but I would say that. I think it's really cool how adaptable and creative we are.


[40:49] What are you currently working toward?

SP: There's a lot of things that I'm kind of working towards but i'm gonna i'm going to share the fact that I'm working towards mothering. How to mother, because I have my husband and I have not been able to have kids. And we've also decided, I mean, we did all the things. Many of the things, but we've decided not to pursue adoption, or fostering, and I still have a great desire to mother. And so I'm looking at different ways to fulfill that need.

 
Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E111: Create Habits Based on Your Core Values
 
 

E111: Create Habits Based on Your Core Values with Deanna Frances

A new spin on core values, and how you can really leverage them this New Years, featuring podcast host; now guest: Deanna Frances…


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[0:29] Valerie LaVigne: You're listening to the women's empowerment podcast. Today I am super excited because I get to welcome Deanna Francis to the show. Deana spent 12 years bouncing around from job to job seeking more fulfillment, looking for purpose, she allowed others opinions and their limiting beliefs to guide her decisions. Deanna knew deep in her soul that she had so much more to offer the world than the confinement of the cubicle walls. Now Deana helps others stop conforming to society's norms, thinking they need to pick just one idea, and have one passion, and master, one thing. She encourages trying things and learning how to move and learning how to move on when they no longer serve you.

Deanna Welcome to the show I'm so excited to have you here. Thanks for having me. I'm excited to dive in and chat with you.

So Deanna and I met kind of through a mutual friend in a previous guest on the show so we were really excited when we started to connect to learn more about each other and how we have very similar values and beliefs.

I'm really excited to have her on the show I feel like Deanna You're such a valuable teacher because you've lived this really cool kind of brave and empowering of life, and I know that we've said a little bit about your, your journey in the intro, and how we kind of get to, to break through the norms right you encourage us to break through those norms and to not have to pick one idea and I feel like, personally, this is something that I struggle with a little bit, so many ideas I've seen many passions for a long time. I really believed that I needed to pick just one.

Do people tell you that all the time?


[2:27] Deanna Frances: You know, I always kind of knew that my brain work differently. I'm in my late 30s. So, like, the Nomad life and the trying different things and having multiple careers wasn't really my, you know, age bracket I think it's more acceptable now in the early 20s and the millennials, But, yeah, for me, I always kind of, I just tried things and when they didn't feel right anymore I moved on and I got a lot of pushback in the corporate world right like my family was okay with it they encouraged my imagination and my curiosity and exploring things but in the, in the work world and in my profession is where I got a lot of pushback and we can dive into that a little bit more but yeah I really do I encourage people to try things and to really listen to that whisper of the curiosity, because it's there for a reason and there's a reason that something strikes your curiosity versus strike, my curiosity, and that's what makes these conversations and society so amazing is because we're not all triggered by the same things, you know.


[3:42] VL: Yes, absolutely I've definitely felt those like polls in those callings and they feel so out of alignment with what I think I should be doing, and I feel like when you think you should be doing something like should is a swear word in my mind. Stop shoulding yourself is what I keep telling people and myself as well. But what I want to know is, when we feel that calling and when it's going against the norms of society or our family. What is it that we can do to really come back into our alignment of what works for us, and not conforming to just society or our family's ideas?


[4:23] DF: I think that is a perfect segway to start talking about core personal values, because those are your guiding principles and when you're not living in alignment with your values and what's important to you, you're gonna feel that resistance, and that shooting on yourself it's funny because I say the same thing I have a whole episode about not shitting on yourself.

I'm right there with you but I think that's when we get that resistance from really feeling like we're stepping into our own and living our truest version of ourselves is when we're going against our core personal values, and just to kind of give you a little background from my corporate life I attended you know multiple seminars and they were always talking about how these companies would have mission statements and core values you know integrity and customer service and all the things and I'm like, what about the people like why aren't they teaching the people how to, how to discover their own personal values because you know that's the basis of everything that we're doing is what's most important to us and it doesn't mean that you know you shun somebody for them having their values, they're just different and that's okay.


[5:41] VL: Yes, I definitely know what you're saying with kind of the big picture is great for the business but it's the people who make the business what it is. So, how do we discover our core values, how do we get that clarity on, on what our core values are?


DF: Yes, so I can provide you with a link to a guide that I have, but I'll walk you through briefly the three steps so I call it 1) Choose 2) Define and 3)Align. And so I have a list of about 100 common and I put that in air quotes common values that people would choose. And so I tell people to spend about three to five minutes, and just go with your gut, your first intuition circle, the words that stand out to you, the ones that you go I cannot imagine my life without that I need that in my life that's extremely important to me, and there's going to be overlap words you know like honesty and trust those are very similar. Right. 

And then the next step is where you combine those overlap words to really define your core values and I tell people to choose between three and five as their guiding principles when they're making decisions. And the cool thing is is you get to define it. So let's say, you know, creativity is a value of yours, I'm gonna have a different definition than you, which is cool. I love that part of it, and then the alignment piece is to start making small decisions based on those three to five values that you've defined for yourself. And once you start using those to make small decisions in your life, like, even your next vacation, which might not be a small decision to somebody, but let's just say a weekend getaway. Start using your core values to decide where you want to go. Who do you want to be with. Why do you want to go? And then once you start using it on those smaller decisions again air quotes, then you start to incorporate them into major decisions like, you know, quitting your job starting a business starting a podcast whatever those, those larger things in your life are.


[7:52] VL: I really, I've never really heard about it in those three steps but I like how you've broken them down. I've definitely seen those lists I know that I've I've I've had those resources on my, my pages and my podcasts as well with this is like a variety of words you can choose, but it's also important to you know to pull from outside of the box write what feels good for us and leaning into that, that feel good feeling.

And then it's true, right because defining creativity for you is definitely going to be different for me and not something that I actually learned this year, one of my core values is adventure. And I'd like to travel and traveling has changed a little bit.

So, instead of you know these big trips or I'm on a plane and I'm leaving the country or the province. I've tried different things in like a local area so my partner and I went through top tracking which I've never done before I don't know if you've dropped it on this, but it's basically like zip lining and tree climbing and rock climbing, and it's like an obstacle course, it was so much fun. And it was like an afternoon that we spent together the two of us. It was tons of adventure tons of laughs like exercise activity all the things, and it was great. 

So I think the definite like the defining piece to those three steps is so important because it also helps us see where we can align, like you said, the core values into our lives and I really like how you said, using not to make smaller decisions, because it is kind of closer to the new year and we're starting to think about goals and resolutions and part of me just wants to like, shake it off if someone says like what are your New Year's resolutions because what even our new year's resolutions, I think we should start a new trend of redefining our core values at the beginning of every year and then aligning them in our daily lives. I feel like we just started something brand new. 


[10:00] DF: We did, and not we should we're going to are going to you cannot meet. And you know I'm gonna I'm gonna circle back real quick on your adventure because I also have adventure, as a core value of mine, which isn't surprising that that's common, you know, for us, but I define it as soaking in wherever you're at so whether that's nature its architecture its food and sitting in the chaos, or sitting in the stillness like all of that is adventure to me and to give you a real life example of how I incorporate adventure into my daily routine. If I have a longer commute than normal.

You know to go see a client or something. I'll pop into a new coffee shop on my way, I'll take a different route than I normally would take I'll stop at, you know a place for a smoothie and just sit there for 20 minutes without my phone and just enjoy everything. And so, to give the listener you know a tangible thing that they can think about themselves is those adventure isn't these big grand, you know airplane trips to another country like you were just mentioning sometimes they are you know smaller adventures with whatever society right now allows us to do so. I'm glad that you mentioned that. And yes, let's talk about this fresh start for the new year with defining the values.

So yeah, I think it's I think it's extremely important to do it every year I actually do I reevaluate my reevaluate mine twice a year. Personally, and I've had the same. I've had three core values, the same for five years, And I've revolved in if that's the right word to say two different ones each time I redo them.


[11:57] VL: That's really cool and I think it's important for people to remember that the core values can change. I know when I first started learning about them I'm like, Well, now my core values are this, but then, last year my core values were this and remember we're humans we're always growing we're always changing, we're always learning, and as we expand our core values are going to expand and change, and we'll, they will re evolve and evolve.

That's really cool and I think it's important for people to remember that the core values can change. I know when I first started learning about them I'm like, Well, now my core values are this, but then, last year my core values were this and remember we're humans we're always growing we're always changing, we're always learning, and as we expand our core values are going to expand and change, and we'll, they will re evolve and evolve.


[12:53] DF: That's a really good question. I don't think I've ever been asked that question and it's it's challenging for me to answer because I know it internally, so I'm going to try to explain it the best way that I can is, I feel like your intuition, are you follows your value system, and you have this guide with you, 24 seven right which is your intuition following your value system and as you mentioned they changed. So, so two habits, as we evolve and we grow. Um, so I think for me, having my values, multiple places throughout my house and just kind of reiterating them throughout the day, helps me keep those habits. So again I'm, I'm a real life example kind of person so personal development is a core value of mine. Now every single morning, I make sure that I do something that is expanding my brain. Now, I've just, I just completed 60 days of meditation five minutes every morning I never thought I would ever call myself a meditator right and here I am, I feel like an expert now.

But that was a habit that I decided to create for my own personal growth and personal development. So, just having that in the forefront of my brain, as I'm going through my day, really helps my habits form to those values, which again are my intuition my intuition told me try this meditation thing again Deanna you haven't been able to do it your practice is kind of sucking. Just try this and so I listened right I listened to that whisper because I quieted all the outside noise. Does that answer the question I know it's kind of a long winded answer.


VL: Yeah, I think that was great I think it was a really great example as well because we're, we're tapping into. Okay. What does that feel good spot where is my intuition leading me, and when you said personal development, I thought of something very different. My intuition took me into reading and books and following those mentors that I always think about. And it's funny because about, I think last year I was really into and very consistent with reading for a long time I would also do podcasts, and then at one point, I just felt like I needed to put the books down, and I needed to stop absorbing that information of what other people were saying, and start taking action for myself. And I actually haven't read. I don't think I've read a book this year. No, that's not true. I don't think I read personal development book this year, which is crazy for me because that would have been. But again, it's not changed for me, and a saturating example of how we can tap into our intuition for people who have a little bit more of like a monkey mind or a little bit restless. What are some other ways that we can tap into our intuition?


[15:58] That is so that's such a good question too because I am the monkey mind I don't know if you're familiar with the inia Graham but I'm a, I'm a seven, which is the enthusiast and it's like, I am on to the next best thing. You know the second my mind can go that way. And so yeah, other ways to calm that monkey mind, I have found journaling is huge. And I'll do a brain dump. Every morning, every single morning I get out whatever was on my mind from that night before. I'll even do like to do list my journaling. I'm not strict on it I just journal. And so that one's big you set aside for meditation. I find that I am able to do walking meditation.

And I don't even know if, if I would call it, meditation, but just getting out in the fresh air and depending on where you live what part of the country or what country you're in. I live in Arizona. So, we have pretty good weather all year round but if I'm just in one of those news I just can't calm my mind, I just go step outside even if I just sit in the sun on my back patio for 10 minutes and just like chill out and I think that's another thing with society and the society norms, it's like if you're not go go go. You're falling behind. You're stagnant. Right. But the more time I give myself to chill to hit the reset and to relax and take time for myself, the more productive I become, and the less monkey mind I am so it's like it's so opposite of what you would think right.


[17:39] VL:It is a little bit especially because we're told about, you know, you have to go You have to be busy like people were busy like a badge. And when I catch myself replying to somebody says hey how's it going, what are you been up to. I and I catch myself saying, I'm so busy, like and I really am very busy, but people are like oh well that's good and I always, I stopped that right then and there is a no it's not really good. I don't like being this busy productive obviously is amazing, but I know that when I'm telling people that like oh I'm really busy or I see my calendar is just like back to back to back. I know that I'm not scheduling in that that reset that self care, those daily habits that help me, align so that I can be a better person so that I can enter my zone of genius so that I can get hold of the things done. And I feel like those are little cues and information from our body, because intuition, for me anyway, isn't just sitting and breathing or walking and feeling calm because I do also have a monkey mind. Sometimes it's just like, really interrupting the day to day, dizziness, right, whether it's like a midday bath, which I think we're going to have today, or a midday walk if you're not someone who is doing that.

Just little things that interrupt that daily habit and then also the noise of other things going on like stop the scroll. You know what I mean?


[19:00] DF: Yeah it is finding that noise and I, I say it's not necessarily the outside voices, it's our internal voices and I think that's my biggest takeaway I just recorded an episode on this on my 60 days that five minutes of meditation which some people might sound so silly but I'm so proud of it like knowing my monkey mind can do it. What I found is that I'm able to stop myself in the middle of a repetitive negative thought. And that to me was like, Whoa, that's what they're all these gurus these meditation gurus are talking about when they say stay in the present moment it's recognizing that thought. And having the the bandwidth to to shift, and to think of something different and saying to yourself like is this serving me, is this going to benefit my relationship, my, you know, professional endeavor whatever it is that you're thinking about And if the answer is like no this isn't benefiting me it's not positive, then you have the ability to change it and I think that that that's just so huge and powerful, but it goes back to what's important to you. Right, it all goes back to those values and. And why do you want to do this and I want to I want to bring something up real quick while it while I'm still on this value thing, you know, going back to like, I don't want to say I don't value my family, because it might sound bad but value family is not a value of mine, but it is for a lot of people that I talked to. So in the morning, if that is a value of yours to circle back how you can like add this to your, your daily routine.

Get up 1015 minutes earlier, wake your kids up 1015 minutes earlier and have breakfast with them. Ask them what they're most excited about for the day. Right. So those are the little things that people aren't really necessarily thinking about they're like, I value my family that means I'm going to work really really freaking hard for my family and to provide and to do all these things and it's like, just back it up a little bit. So as you start this new year and you're laying your foundation just think of things like that like your morning is how you're setting your entire day, which is setting your week and your months and on and on so yeah like figure out what those values are and then start using them on the daily.


[21:37] VL: I love that you, you said foundation because, really, this is an opportunity for us to live out this new year with our core values as that foundation and allowing us to really simplify that, especially in the beginning, especially if this is new to to anyone listening and it's like oh core values I never really thought of this before, or how to implement it.

I would say for myself I want to practice, I'm going to practice this for this new year is that I'm going to lay out my core values. I'm going to create the little daily habits to align with them, but I also want to reevaluate that what's working, what's not working, maybe a couple months in three months in every quarter just kind of like you said you do it twice a year. I wouldn't mind like adding to that habit or stacking the habit. With this new, but this foundation of what I've defined as my adventure, my family, my whatever the habit or the core value is part of me. I love that and congratulations for doing 60 days, non stop of meditation. That is huge.


DF: It really is. Thank you for not for not letting me discount that, because it is it was a big deal for me, because I yeah I've tried for four years I've had insight timer on my phone for probably two or three years and I've used it. 50 times maybe and just haven't been able to stay consistent so yeah yeah that was a big deal and I want to touch on, on, I think I mentioned earlier that I have my values like everywhere I have them plastered everywhere. What I mean by that is like my phone my desktop my laptop, you know my fridge. But I'm glad you said what you just said because even taking one value, a week, let's say, so you get your three to five whatever it is if you have seven that's cool too. Not a big deal, but taking one, and that entire week, focusing on one thing, a day that you're going to incorporate that value into your life.

And do I mean you could do a month of personal development, you could do a day of adventure like whatever is gonna work for you. But experiment that's what's fun about it is it's like it's your definition is your value and you get to incorporate it however you want.


VL: You know, I think that is so great. I'm so glad that you mentioned that and I do have a question about your, your meditation because you said you've tried it several times, what do you think changed. This time, that you were able to stick with it for 60 days?


[24:17] DF: That is a great question. You are so good at this. You are so good at these questions, which is why you're a podcast host. So I got rid of all the pressure. I didn't intend to do it for 60 days. My friend was doing it within site timer with this five minute feature that you could do with three minutes, five minutes whatever you could set the time. And she had done it for 30 days and I thought, huh. I'm just going to do it for seven, because I know myself, I know if I put so much pressure and I tried doing this 30 days. It just feels so restrictive that I give up at day five and I'm like I can't do it. You know I've done that so many times on various things like I can't even tell you. And, yeah, once I let go of the. Alright, I stopped putting the pressure on myself, I should say, is when seven days turned into 14 and I was like oh, I'll just go another seven. So I broke it down into smaller increments.


[25:18] VL: That's so helpful and we're starting to implement an align these core values. What do you think would be some other kind of roadblocks or limiting beliefs or things like that that would hold us back, how can we can we overcome those and we're aligning our core values?


DF: worrying about what other people are gonna think that's a huge one. And if you're listening, and you're thinking already like, oh, what if I put this one thing as my value what's my family gonna think or my co workers or whatever and it's like, the more you show up for yourself and understand what is driving your decisions, big and small, the better you're going to be for those people in your life. So I think that's a major roadblock that people have because I before COVID I would host workshops on exactly what we're talking about is defining and aligning the values. And that was one question like I would give is like, or they would talk about their husband or their significant other like sure I like this or I value this but they don't like that's why they're personal to you, and I recommend people do them for themselves. This guy. You do it your significant other does it, and then you see where there's overlap. And that's what my boyfriend and I did we realize we have so many differences, but we have one that is super important to us and it's an adventure. So that's one roadblock that people have another roadblock is, like you said, I think, is people overcomplicate it, it's like simplify it, you know, um, and I think the guide will really help because I talk about how to use overlap words, there's a lot of people like oh I have like these 20 words and they're also similar What do I do and it's like, pick one. Just pick one and define it, and you can change it in a week if it doesn't feel good. Like you keep going back to that feeling right. It doesn't feel good in a week. You can change it, it's your value that's totally fine.


VL: Yeah, those are really good I'm glad that you mentioned the worrying about what other people think, too, because a lot of the times when we start something new that really lights us up and is in alignment with what feels good for us, what we're actually doing is giving other people permission to do the same. And more often than not, they're inspired by what we're doing, versus threatened by it, or confused by it, or a little bit, they usually people don't think that we're radical for bettering ourselves. I mean, obviously, not everyone is in the same alignment or doesn't have the same core values but it also doesn't have to be a very extreme habit or a very extreme new way that we're living at our lifestyles, it could be like journaling, that's a really private thing that, you know, you're taking your time to journal, no one has to read your journal if you don't want them to. It doesn't have to be like everyone isn't around in the circle journaling together. That's a huge thing. It's a private thing for you to do so. But I think those points are really good because there are so many things in our mind that could hold us back. I know that I like to complicate things for sure. 60 days? Let's do it for a year.


[28:38] DF:Exactly, exactly what I'm talking about I mean you hit the nail on the head, and I in that guide that I'm going to provide the link for and you'll you'll add to the show notes, I'm sure.

I talked about the feelings that you're tying to these values and so, just to touch on that real quick.

I like to, I like to have people think of something that made them mad recently like what pissed you off what frustrated you and where did you feel it in your body, did your shoulders get tired your stomach get a knock your face was all heated up, and then opposite to that, what happened when your husband unloaded the dishwasher without a us gain I mean it's something seems so small, but you felt so good. Where did you feel that you felt light right like your shoulders became less tense your stomach felt good you just felt good. And so as you're going through defining your core values. That's what I want people to tie those values to when I say like imagine your life without this theme, like take adventure away we all kind of had that taken away from us during the beginning of COVID, we found ways to get creative. Right. But if you imagine your life without that theme like, what does that make you feel like and where do you feel that in your body, and then that again going back to using this on the daily on a daily basis is you're trying to get away from the things that make you feel crappy and move towards the things that make you feel good, and that to me is pretty quite the alignment.


[30:16] VL: Yeah, absolutely. Our bodies are really incredible things where they're constantly communicating with us they're constantly giving us information about what's good, what's not good for us. And I feel like when we're so caught up in the mind and we're so caught up, especially the monkey minds. We lose touch with that physical with those physical signals that we're getting all the time. All the time. So I really yeah I'm really glad you said that and I will link the guide. And, as well as your information in the show notes page, which is available at Valerie levine.com forward slash Deanna EAA and so it's really easy to find, for your listeners today. Speaking of finding you. Where can we find you. Where can we follow you, how can we support your business.



[31:07] DF: Thank you. Well, I am most active on Instagram, gave a Facebook of the beginning of 2020, because it was just too much to try to keep, keep track of it all so add lean into curiosity is my handle for Instagram, that's also my podcast. So on there, on my bio there is a link to my website as well. So, one stop shop Instagrams usually the best place.

http://leanintocuriosity.com



[31:33] VL: Amazing. We will include that link too. I feel like today was such a great episode I feel like the entire thing was a one big juicy nugget. It's like one of those. One of those that nesting dolls called. I feel like we opened one juicy nugget. And then the next and then the next and you just keep opening it and it's all these little takeaways.

I feel like we can start, we can start anywhere, especially with just choosing those three to five core values and getting started with this new year. Fresh Start which I feel like everyone needs.


DF: I said that to somebody the other day I was like, Ah, you know we're all looking forward to New Year's like yeah well we were all looking forward to 2022, I was like, stop it. Don't say that.


VL: Just cover your ears La la la la. Oh my god. But you know what, that just I feel like it just brings us back into the present more and more. When we don't over plan or overthink or overlook into too much of the future, when we focus on our core values, but they're going to align us to where we need to be because we're getting into that zone of genius we're getting into our feel good spot and things just open up from there. So, this is a this is a great way to start this new adventure, we'll call it. 


[32:53] DF: Yes. And, and by understanding your values, too, and living in alignment with them you're going to attract the right people at the right time for the right reasons. And that's been my motto through all of this cluster we've all been going through together it's just, okay, this is, this is happening. And everything is happening the way that it's supposed to happen.


RAPID FIRE ROUND

1. What are you currently reading? OR Favourite book?

Danielle Laporte - Desire Map

2. What do you love most about being a woman?

I love having a cycle that I can follow and understanding what's happening to my hormones throughout my cycle, and using that to my advantage, there's times where you're more productive. Because your estrogen is higher, there's times where you're more internal because your estrogen is lower, and I have been obsessed with thinking my cycle for three years now, and I think. Yeah, having the emotions I feel like sometimes as women we're like, taught to kind of push them down and really leaning into those emotions is huge. So, I have a weird answer.


3. What does “empowerment” mean to you?

Giving people, and yourself permission to be authentic.


4. What are you currently working toward?

I am working towards. Six Figure business with multiple revenue streams. And so I recently I think we met, I mentioned this before we hit record I have a podcast management company, and I'm an a consultant and I have the podcast myself. And so I didn't want to put all my eggs in one basket and so that's what I'm working towards I'm working towards really being creative and everything that I do and having these multiple pieces and then tying them all together, I just that excites me.

 
Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E110: Q&A: Healthy Habits
 
 

E110: Q&A: Healthy Habits

[00:29] Hello welcome back to the women’s empowerment podcast! This is our final episode of 2020 and what a year it has been!!!


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Last week we celebrated the year with our Women’s Empowerment Holiday Party and we counted down the top 5 episodes of the year. If you haven’t already listened to that episode, head over to WWW.VALERIELEAVINGELIFE.COM/109 so you can join in on the holiday fun!

Episode #109: Holiday Party: 2020 Countdown! www.valerielavignelife.com/109

Today’s episode is a Q&A Special! Every 10 episodes I answer 10 questions all about a specific topic, and our theme this round is Healthy Habits. Which is the perfect segway to the sponsor of this episode!

This podcast episode is brought to you by my Healthy Habits workshop! I created these monthly workshops so that you could feel connected, and supported with creating your healthy habits, rituals, and lifestyle routines. In the virtual group setting you will be able to learn about the healthy habit theme of the month, as well as ask questions specific to your own needs and journey.

The workshops are here to help you go from overwhelmed and confused about habit-building, healthy lifestyle, and essential oils, and give you clarity and confidence with finding a routine that works best for you.

To join the new Healthy Habit workshop, go to WWW.VALERIELAVIGNELIFE.COM/WORKSHOP and sign up today!

This past workshop was all about Rituals & Transitions and it was such a success with the group of women that showed up and participated. They also had some great questions, which I know listeners of the podcast are also asking! 

[2:18] Let’s start with Kaylie, she asked:

#1. How can we recognize when a healthy habit is no longer serving us? When can we know it’s time to move on vs just not feeling motivated?

This is a great question!

It’s possible that the habits we’ve built will no longer serve us, because circumstances change, relationships change, we change. I mean, take this year for example… BIG CHANGES!


The question to ask ourselves is: are my habits bringing me closer to my current goals or halting my growth? This is why we always start with our intention, and we build out our habits around that intention.

Not all habits are good, or healthy, and when our goals change, so do our behaviours. You’ll want to reevaluate your goals and daily behaviours to see if they are in alignment.

Kaylie also asked.. 

[3:14] #2. How do we prevent feeling guilty/bad/lazy if we miss our habits?

I have three answers and they’re sprinkled with a bit of tough love. You ready?

Firstly: Let it go. Missing a habit happens. It’s okay. Habits are easy to do, and they are a lot easier NOT to do. We all miss a day sometimes, but feeling guilty or bad or lazy doesn’t bring you closer to your goals. It actually does the opposite. 

Secondly: Take a break. Maybe your body needs to rest? Perhaps you needed to feel what it was like to NOT do it, so that you remember why you are doing it in the first place? Realign with your intention.

Thirdly: Ask yourself: is this habit helping me or hurting me? Consider what or why you’re feeling unmotivated and not doing the work? Is your habit too complicated? Is it at the wrong time of day? Is not not serving your bigger soul goals? If it’s not helping you, it might be hurting you. On the other hand, there might be something you need to do BEFORE implementing this habit you’re struggling to keep consistent with. It’s an opportunity for investigation.


Sonia had a really common question....

[4:34] #3 I’m looking for a healthy habit when it comes to eating more whole foods, but not actually having to prepare, cook, steam, whole foods. Implementing small habits here and there to eat better. 

I had a chuckle at this question because I know Sonia, and SHE knows the answer I’m going to give her. I know she knows this because she is a coach and this is literally what we teach. 


How many times have we wanted something in life but we didn’t want to put in the work? Honestly I couldn’t even tell you because TBH I’ve lost count.

This question leads me to simplify the habit as much as possible. HEALTHY CAN BE SIMPLE. I feel like I need this printed on a t-shirt. Honestllllly! There are meal subscription services, pre-made juices and smoothies, opportunities to hire chefs or someone to prep you some meals that you can freeze. There are a lot of services out there.

If you’re not interested in investing in these services well… Sonia actually answered her own question in her actual question, when she said, “implementing small habits here and there to eat better.” 

Start small! Maybe it’s drinking more water, or incorporating more vegetables. Perhaps it’s making balanced lunches or dinners twice a week. Make it simple and keep it simple!

Craig and I make breakfast smoothies every night. We both get up pretty early and are out the door early so we make smoothies the night before for a quick grab and go breakfast.

We actually started with lunches and now we do smoothies AND lunches. In the beginning if you told me I had to make 2 lunches and 2 smoothies every night with dinner I would be overwhelmed and crumble. Now we have a flow and it makes sense. We cook lunch and dinner together. Sometimes dinner is also the next day’s lunch = yay for leftovers.

While dinner is cooking we make salads and smoothies. When we clean up the dinner mess, we pack up the lunch food. Done and done.

Heather’s question is next:

[7:39] #4 How to find balance between not pushing myself too hard (which I always do aka ignore my body) and balance staying motivated and fairly consistent with something like workouts?

Right now I’m loving small goals, and it’s really working for me so maybe that’s me answering myself lol but I’m sure there’s others like me where it’s all or nothing instead of listening to your body and adjusting your expectations that day.

Struggling with the extremes of GO ALL OUT, VS DO NOTHING.

Did you hear the answer to the question too?? She had some great creative solutions which were:

  1. Small goals. How do you climb a mountain friends? ONE STEP AT A TIME.

  2. Listening to your body. You know your body better than anyone else. You will know if your body needs a break or if your body is avoiding change or it’s scared.

  3. Adjusting your expectations. BINGO. We aim for big goals, and that is amazing. I promise you that is so great. It’s even better if we actually get there, and I’ll tell you right now success doesn’t happen overnight. Which is why we are talking about the SMALL, SEEMINGLY INSIGNIFICANT BEHAVIOURS WE DO EVERY SINGLE DAY THAT LEAD US TO OUR GOALS. 

With this struggle, I believe it’s important to remember that just like the entire planet Earth, our bodies and our lives also have seasons and cycles. There are going to be days and weeks we want to go hard, and there are going to be days and weeks where we want to go home.

Yes, listening to your body is a big part of this, but so is setting realistic goals. Realistic for YOU and your lifestyle and your schedule.

[9:43] Question #5 is from CANDICE: Do you have a couple different morning rituals? Like say you have endless time, then you do your mega am ritual, if you’re running late, than you have like one or two ritual items that are non negotiable? If so, what are your non negotiable rituals? 

I do! Coffee is pretty much the main non negotiable, as well as essential oils. However it is a very specific coffee ritual that I do every morning that makes it so important to me. 

Val’s morning coffee ritual:

Mug + enhanced collagen powder + oat milk + nespresso + “ritual” spoon
Add powder to mug, pour milk to frother, add pod to coffee machine. Press two buttons to start.

As the coffee is pouring, stir the powder into the coffee counter clockwise removing staleness, stagnation and bad vibes from my aura and energy.

Once the coffee is poured, add in the frothy oat milk, stir clockwise 3 times, stirring in the intention for the day and seal with a pentagram.

As I drink the coffee, drink in the intentions for the day.

In regards to the oils, I gravitate to different blends depending on what my body intuitively needs. Once I choose my oil or oil blend I can then use it accordingly. For example if I want to feel more steady or centred, I will grab balance blend and place a drop on the soles of my feet.

If I need an energetic pick-me-up I reach for my peppermint roller and apply it to my temples and the back of my neck.

If I want deeper, fuller breaths, I use breathe/easy air on my chest and forearms.

There are some other pieces of my ritual that come and go, depending on the season ;) 

[12:15] Candice also asked, or I guess said because it isn’t structured in a question (#6): Not making play worthy, or not allowing time for fun and feeling guilty when I’m not getting work done. I tell myself that the thing that is fun and brings me joy isn’t important enough/productive enough.

I have most definitely experienced this feeling before. And here is what I told Candice, and what I tell myself when I get caught up in this limiting mindset: YOU GET TO CHOOSE WHAT’S IMPORTANT TO YOU.

For me, I believe that life must be lived as play. Life can be fun and exciting IF we prioritize these things. Honestly, my day goes by quicker, the tasks get done with more love when I invite play. I am more creative, more open, more helpful when I incorporate play into my life.

Let’s go back to the intentions we talked about. What is the goal? How do we want to feel? What sort of activities and experiences and things bring us to our feelings words? Think of the past when you’ve felt this way before, what were you doing? Who were you with? Now think about how you can experience those same feelings again. 

I can almost guarantee that being productive isn’t the feeling word we immediately thought of - and disclaimer if it was for you that’s okay too. There are days where my intention is to be productive; but this isn’t the feeling that I aim for. 

It’s okay to take some pressure off of ourselves, and actually enjoy!

[14:58] Question #7 is from Tammy, she says: I would love to create and stick with a more productive morning ritual, both personally and professionally! Adding into the current morning ritual (walk + lemon water… now we want to add stretching + meditation as well)

Habit stacking is one of my favourite things to teach because it’s one of the most effective ways to create and stick with healthy habits. Habit stacking is the concept of adding in one behaviour, letting it become a habit and then stack or add another habit to that first behaviour, and so on and so forth.

This method is PERFECT for things like morning routines, or evening rituals or healthy eating. It’s really perfect for any habit building haha 

One of the best ways to start is to take a look at the habits you already have and decide which one(s) you want to add onto. We can use Tammy as the example because she has her morning ritual which is her walk and lemon water and now she and her husband want to add stretching and meditation. My suggestion to Tammy was to choose ONE of those to add in next. They both take time and we can’t always add into two things in the beginning especially if they were both very time consuming. 

So Tammy has several options and one of them is to get up earlier to mediate, or cut the walk shorter to stretch. What else could Tammy do? She could start with really short and sweet meditations: 1 minute to start. Everyone has one or even three minutes that they can take out of their morning to meditate. 

They key here is to start simple and stack. Another great tip for habit stacking is to add to what you’re already doing. This is what I did with my coffee ritual. I wanted to be more intentional, that was an important goal. Meditation wasn’t working for me in the mornings, but I knew I wanted to start my day with intention, which is how and why I created that morning coffee time. I was already preparing the beverage, now I was upgrading the habit to help me with my goals.

[17:46] (#8) Our eighth question was inspired by Steph. We got into talking about motivation and how it changes. We also got into the topic of self love and self kindness.

Remember that starting something new can be scary, and tough, and overwhelming, and a challenge. Especially in the beginning when we’re figuring it all out. This is part of the journey. This is part of the whole process. This is part of the MAGIC! 

What are some things that motivate YOU? Is it a sticker on a calendar every day? Is it an inspirational quote as your phone wallpaper? Is it having an accountability buddy? Is it sharing your goal socially so that other people can cheer you on and watch you grow/glow??

Incorporate those things into your habit journey. Make them a part of your success and your tracking and accountability. 

Also, be kind to yourself: ALWAYS! You are making positive changes, big moves forward, and you have already taken a step closer to your goals just by listening to this episode. By taking the time to learn more about how you can succeed! Pat yourself on the back!!!

[19:00] Question #9 is also from Kaylie who shared that she struggles with transitioning from one-activity-to-the-next. How can we master and have these transitions in our everyday life?

You have to decide what works best for you, sometimes that means testing different suggestions out, so here are a few to try:

Time-Blocking: This is a great way to schedule your time and be intentional with your calendar and tasks. I do this every single week. Typically on a Sunday Night, sometimes it’s the night before. When I schedule something into my calendar it almost always gets done.

One of the other suggestions from our workshop was to create a [Cleaning] Ritual between tasks/sessions: For example in between calls or emails you have a specific ritual that helps you transition into the next message. Cleaning was the suggestion because if we are seeing clients or patients we clean after and prep before each client. I know some people who have a ritual walking under a doorway to reset. Sometimes I take an extra minute in my car before coming into the house after being at the studio all day with lots of people.

Pre-planning and organizing your week is similar to time blocking. You can do this in a way that you’re breaking up your to-do list into each day of the week. A lot of the time I will write out all of the things I have to do, and then prioritize them and/or add them to the to-do list for Monday or for Thursday.

It’s important to notice how many tasks you’re actually putting into your calendar. My rule is 3-5 tasks a day.

Yes… I have been doing quite a few things lately, and because I time block and meal prep and do EXTRA pre-planning a lot of this is possible. However it isn’t sustainable and I know this, so I don’t make my to-do list extra long. It’s not a badge of honour that’s for sure.

When you’re trying to figure out what works best for you, look at where the transition is a struggle. Is it while you’re in a creative zone of genius, is it because you are switching tasks often? When you find the leaks in your day, the holes in the calendar, THEN you can begin to mend and master transitions.

Also check out a previous episode of the show called Mastering Transitions: www.valerielavignelife.com/07

[22:43] Our last question is actually by me! (#10) When I’m working with clients in small groups or one-on-one we spend time discovering and overcoming excuses that hold you back from getting your goals done, or doing your habits; and then begin to build out your action plan. The question I always ask is: What needs to get done BEFORE your habit? Are there any foreseeable obstacles that could hold you back from doing the habit/do the feeling?

However I am not sharing the answer to this question on the show. Instead I want YOU to answer this question for yourself and your own goals. 


What needs to get done before you start this new habit?

What are the foreseeable obstacles?

How will you overcome them?

Okay so it’s a 3-part question, but I BELIEVE in you!

Share with me, chat with me, let’s connect on instagram! Find me @vallavignelife

 
Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E109: Holiday Party! Best of 2020
 
 

E109: Holiday Party! Best of 2020

Hello, welcome back to the women’s empowerment podcast! Today we are having our holiday party!!! And by we I mean me, myself and I hahaha But how cool would it be if we could bring back a few of the guests from 2020 to celebrate the year together? Perhaps next year we can have a collaborative show! Or maybe some of the listeners can pop into the episode! I would love that too!!


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This is our second holiday party and there are a few traditions that we’re going to continue on for the show.

The first is that I always have a holiday beverage when I record. Last year I was drinking a festive kombucha I made. I’m going to link to that episode for you because there are a few tasty recipes I shared.

This year I am drinking a Mistletoe Margarita, and I thought that I made this up but then I realized that other people had this idea too. Here’s the recipe…

Last year’s recipes
www.valerielavignelife.com/59 


MISTLETOE MARGARITA

⅓ Cup Cranberry Juice
2 oz Tequila 
½ oz Lime Juice
1 cup Cubed Ice (more as needed)
Sugared cranberries and fresh mint leaves for garnish 

I like mine on the rocks, but you can blend yours if you like.

  1. Rim the glass using a lime and ground himalyan salt (can also use kosher salt, some like to mix with sugar but I like it salty)

  2. Blended: Pour all ingredients into a blender, blend until smooth

  3. On the Rocks: Add ingredients into a cocktail shaker, shake a few times

  4. Pour into glass and garnish

  5. Drink up! 


Hopefully you’re listening and joining me with a drink. Maybe a morning coffee, or post workout protein shake. Wherever you are, and whatever you’re drinking… Cheers!

[3:06] Now we don’t just drink on this episode… no no no! We also count down the top 5 episodes of the show this year. So let’s start with the fifth most popular episode [5] Episode 94: Natural Tools for Healthy Habits.

This is a great episode! It’s full of helpful tools, additional resources, AND I’m currently updating the freebie to this episode along with the rest of my website which you will all be able to see very soon! Seriously can’t wait for that.

In this episode I share dōTERRA’s Healthy Habit Collection and how to use the products in the kit. From essential oils to quality supplements, I go through each one. I also give you a list of previous episodes that are all about essential oils and how to incorporate them into your lifestyle.

As you probably already know I love oils SO MUCH, and use them daily! On instagram I share a daily diffuser blend, you can find me @vallavignelife 


Today’s diffuser blend is called

“Santa’s Workshop” 
2 drops Wild Orange
2 drops Peppermint
2 drops Cypress
2 drops dōTERRA’s Holiday Joy blend


A few more diffuser blend recipes:

“O Christmas Tree”
2 drops Siberian FIr
2 drops Wild Orange
2 drops Cinnamon Bark

“Winter Wonderland”
3 drops Peppermint 
2 drops Bergamot
1 drop Cypress


[4:58] The fourth most popular episode of the Women’s Empowerment Podcast is actually a bonus episode with one of the special guests from the show. I was totally blown away by this episode and absolutely loved chatting with and learning from this guest. The episode was... [4] BONUS: The Power of Positivity & Building Social Engagement with Ingrid Deon!

Ingrid is such an inspiration and a wealth of knowledge on social media marketing. I met Ingrid this year in a virtual coworking community with Toronto’s Co-Working Space MAKE LEMONADE. We got to know each other through this community and she was one of the first people from this network to apply for a spot on my show and I’m so glad she did.

Okay, and the beginning of this episode I mentioned how cool I thought it would be to have a collective of people at this holiday party, so I decided to try the next best thing and I reached out to Ingrid to see if she could share her TOP 3 SOCIAL MEDIA TIPS for going into 2021! Here’s what she shared…

TIP #1: Make Use of the Available Features that Exist with Social Media

TIP #2: Humanize Your Company

TIP #3: If You’re Not Using LinkedIn Yet - DO IT!


More about Ingrid + Women’s Empowerment Podcast:
http://valerielavignelife.com/ingrid 


[11:38] Okay the third most popular episode of the year is [3] Episode 102: Choosing Courage Over Fear with Tasha Romanelli. Tasha and I also met through MAKE LEMONADE and we kept virtually crossing paths in different workshops and zoom calls over the spring. Then somehow we found out that we lived only 15-ish minutes away from each other and decided to meet for walks. There are some nice paths and trails near where I live and she brought her dog Mala and we would walk for an hour and talk. A few times I said that our conversations would be amazing for the show and it’s too bad we didn’t record them! 

However, we did eventually record an episode together and it was OMazing as Tasha would say! Now if there is one thing I can tell you about Tasha, it’s that she is a FORCE. She is this beaming light of love, kindness, and spiritual power! 

She shows up very authentically in this episode and brings some really powerful and practical tools for choosing courage over fear, and letting your freak out!

I also reached out to Tasha and asked her if she could share a New Year’s Eve Ritual with us. Here’s what she shared…

HELP YOU MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TO LIFE

#1 Create a Personal Totem 

#2 Create a Dream PIllow

#3 Create a Vision Board

energyiseverything.ca


[20:53] Now the second most popular episode came as a BIT of a surprise for me, but it’s absolutely perfect. It’s [2] Episode 92: An Action Plan for How to Be a Morning Person. I shouldn’t be THAT surprised because I get this question a lot and it’s one of the reasons why I created this episode in the first place. 


Now I really broke things down in this episode. I share the incredible benefits of waking up early. Then I go into detail of how to make it real for you. This includes the DO’s and DON’Ts of your alarm clock, and how to take advantage of all your extra time.


This episode also includes a lot of hot tips so that you can be successful in creating a morning routine, and I walk you through the step-by-step process of making an action plan.


Okay, so it’s a pretty value-packed episode… it’s no wonder it’s the second most popular episode this year! If being a morning person is something you’re working toward then I highly recommend starting with this episode. If you’re ready to go deeper with your morning routines, I’d like to invite you into my upcoming Healthy Habit Workshop: Morning Routines on Wednesday February 3rd, 2021.


You can find the details for this online workshop at WWW.VALERIELAVIGNELIFE.COM/WORKSHOP My goal for you for this workshop is to support you with getting clear and creating an action plan for your morning routine. It’s a virtual group workshop where I will teach you the best ways to build your mornings, plus there’s an opportunity at the end of the workshop to ask questions and get more support that is specific to your goal(s).


If you’re listening to this workshop past the workshop date, no worries! I am hosting healthy habits workshops on the first wednesday every month for 2021 and each month has a new topic! I hope to see you there! You can visit the show notes page to learn more at the workshops page at WWW.VALERIELAVIGNELIFE.COM/WORKSHOP


Now last year I had a list of 21 questions that I wanted to answer every year as a time capsule memory for fun, but this year I’ve decided that it’s not really beneficial to the show. So I will most definitely be doing the 21 questions in my own journaling practice, and they’re very interesting, especially if you’re looking back on them, so I will share the 21 questions with you this year in the show notes page. They are fun, personality-quiz type of questions and it’s pretty interesting to re-listen, or re-read to your own advice sometimes. 

www.valerielavignelife.com/59 < List of Questions


[24:26] And now… our top episode of 2020 was… [1] Episode 81: 5 Tips for Positive Self-Talk this episode was published in the late spring of this year. To be honest, I’m not entirely surprised by this. We’ve all had a HUGE year and this episode more than ever is so flippin important.

 
Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E107: The Holidays are the Boundaries Olympics
 
 

E107: The Holidays are the Boundaries Olympics with Bryn Bamber

Chatting with Bryn Bamber today, who is a mental health professional helping heart centred creative healers help more people and more make more money by healing childhood, shit…


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[00:25] Valerie LaVigne: You're listening to the women's empowerment podcast today. I'm very excited to welcome Bryn to the show. Bryn is a mental health professional helping heart centered creative healers help more people and more make more money by healing childhood, shit. I love that it is such a great elevator pitch. So join me in welcoming Bryn to the show. Welcome.

Bryn Bamber: Thank you so much for having me. I'm excited to chat. 

VL: Yeah, I'm excited to chat with you too. It's been a little while since we've since we've connected so can you tell us a little bit about how you got to be this mental health professional and how you like to be helping people like you do.

[1:16] BB: So I come to mental health, from my own mental health struggles. I'm one of those. Um, I suffered from pretty severe anxiety, and I wasn't even aware but when I was younger, I just thought I was stressed and everyone was stressed, and I had kind of normalized my reality which is a coping mechanism. And so I just didn't, I didn't realize how high my anxiety was at the time. But I started to get some clues when I was 21, years old, and I burnt out of my first job ever so I graduated from university, I got a job I got business cards. I bought a blazer. And in a lot of ways that job was my dream job and I was really excited about it. And what happened was, I made a couple of medium sized mistakes, which happen in any job, but I was really beating myself up about them and I wasn't able to recover. So I went kind of like, pretty deep into perfectionism. I would like editing one email for a whole week, like editing re editing, and eventually got to a point where, I couldn't really do the work, so I burnt out I quit.

And I knew I couldn't return to that like I couldn't just go to a job board and look for another job because I would just look for the exact same job but I really liked the work that I was doing. But I, um, yeah I knew I needed to kind of switch things up so I ended up moving to an ashram yoga retreat and study center. I initially went for a month I extended extended extended ended up living there for two years studying yoga and meditation for two years. Me yoga teacher and then was able to return to the workforce with new tools. The second kind of pivotal moment in my journey was when I was 29, I had started this Mental Health Training Program in core energetics. And as in a class on early childhood trauma.


And I, in that class realized I had all the symptoms. All the symptoms of someone who has suppressed childhood trauma and kind of started to realize that like this was me. So my anxiety started to make a little bit more sense of where it was coming from. And also that awareness allowed me to start to heal it, because before that I didn't really know that I had it. So, um, I finished that training program, and it was pretty life changing for me core energetics was pretty life changing for me at reducing my anxiety, so I'm super passionate about it. Super excited to talk to all your listeners and start to get them the support they need. If they struggle with anxiety.

[4:39] VL: Thank you so much for sharing that story, I didn't realize you're at the ashram for two years, you must have come away with lots of incredible tools. I know I've spent my fair share of time not that much time in yoga institutes and different health care facilities so that's really, really incredible. The, there's so many questions I have.


And I guess I want to tie it all back since we're heading into the holiday season to anxiety around the holidays if we could focus on that a little bit today. What are some of the surface signs, what are some of the signs of feeling anxious or maybe the signs, leading up to burn out during this time of year.


BB: Yeah so everyone's a little bit different and it's important to start to notice yourself and notice what's coming up for you. But anxiety is basically a vibration in the body. So for some people it's like their tasks, some people their neck and shoulders get really sore they're like TMJ flares up when they have anxiety, but basically you don't feel good and for me it's kind of like a high frequency. Um, jittery, kind of feeling in terms of burnout.


I think signs are, you know, not wanting to get out of bed in the morning feeling like a sense of dread about what you have planned for the day. Just feeling tired and sometimes it's.

You're tired and even though it's like things that you would like to do you feel kind of like tired. Another big example is the five of your emotional reactions. So one of the things to talk about in mental health is having a right sized reaction. So, I mean, you obviously see this when someone gets cut off in traffic and they like lose their shit.

When it's like, okay, someone cut you off in traffic. Yes, that's rude, but you don't need to like scream and holler at them. So, if, um, you know, you come home from work, and someone took your parking space, and you burst into tears, or, you know, you're just having a higher, like it's like, of course, if a member of your family passes away and you burst into tears, or you're devastated that's the right size but the big events, but when it's something smaller like, you know, you get into your car and the engine won't start, and you start to panic. It's like, that's a little bit of a too big of a reaction for what's happening so that's definitely a key sign in burnout.

[7:46] VL: I can definitely relate to both of those feelings that generate an anxious, kind of anxiety piece, but also the burnout piece and how they are closely related but they are very different.

I don't think that I'm trying to think about my own experiences right now and how that anxiety kind of shows up for me, and I would agree with the jitters on my side. So, let's, let's focus a little bit more on the anxiety piece. Tell us, when you start to feel this way when we started to notice the signs in our own body, we're not feeling great. Were getting the jitters or feeling that vibrational frequency in our bodies, what can we do?

BB: So, when you're feeling anxiety you're starting to go into fight or flight right your nervous system is kind of ramping up and either flight, it's great. If there is a bear. And that bears chasing you. It's great in these situations that are like high risk and you actually do need to run away, or you need to fight.

Because the blood all goes through your lens and your heartbeat goes faster. And you stop digesting and you stop. If you have any like wounds or illnesses that all you stop healing, because all the energy is going to fight. Tiger or run away.

If there's not a tiger in the room. It's really not helpful, because you get like you're very single pointed focus right you're just like, get away from the tiger. You aren't in your creative brain you are. Problem Solving blank brain. And again, you're not digesting so sometimes if you have digestive issues, it can be related to like being in the fight or flight mode too often. You're not healing if you have a cold your immune system is going to be at top performance which I mean, even more important than ever this year that you try to keep our immune systems, going. So, what you want to do is, the thing is your brain thinks there's a tiger. The reason that you're having this nervous system response is because, you know, for me, sometimes it's an email right like I get an email and it has a certain tone.

And I go into fight or flight, I'm like, Oh, did I do something wrong is this person mad at me, blah blah blah. Um, so what you want to do is you want to bring your nervous system, back to the present moment where there is no tiger.

So some of the things you can do, are just look around, look like, Listen, say, oh, there's a lamp. So there's a window, there's a guitar hanging on my wall in my room here. So you're looking around and what you're doing is you're bringing yourself back to the present moment and you're basically check if there's a tiger. 

Look around. And as you start to look around, you can start to listen what sounds Do you hear are they dangerous sounds you can touch different materials, you know like, I'm touching my sweater here.

You can touch your desk whatever is around you but you're, what you're doing is you're bringing your nervous system back into the present moment. Where, where there is no tiger, if there is a tiger, you want to invite. But that's kind of some of the first steps.

[11:47] VL: Yeah, it's important to have that fight or flight mode when something's life threatening. And we actually chatted about this in a previous episode about finding where you are and becoming more present. And right away realizing that hey there isn't a tiger in the room there isn't a bear in the room, and taking that breath and bringing yourself back to the moment. So, let's say that we catch ourselves in this fight or flight mode feeling with this anxious vibration. They say okay, there's no tiger. There's no Tiger I'm okay. But what if this keeps happening to us what if we keep experiencing this anxiety, how do we go from being that anxious person to being a little bit more calm, on a day to day basis.

BB: So I wouldn't say there's kind of two here. Sometimes, or I guess probably always. Um, if you're a nervous system is a type of nervous system that sends a lot of time in fight or flight there's probably a reason. There's probably some challenging experience that you went through that kind of had a big impact. And so sometimes what's happening when we're going to fight or flight is we're going back our nervous system is going back to that incident. It was challenging for us.

So, it's important to explore the kind of the root cause. Um, I know for me, one of the root causes of anxiety was actually suppressed anger. So, I grew up in a household where anger wasn't allowed passive aggressiveness was allowed like direct anger was not good, so I just put my anger away. And so, a lot of my anxiety, ended up being me being angry, but holding in it.

So, one of, honestly, I think. I don't know if I'm gonna say it's the biggest healing thing that happened to me around my anxiety, but it might be is getting back in touch with my anger and starting to express that starting to send set half healthy boundaries. And so, if you are someone who is a people pleaser and conflict avoidant. This might be you. And part of your healing might be starting to set healthier boundaries because sometimes that anxiety is because, you know, guess there is no Tiger but something is going wrong someone's taking advantage of you, or you're doing something that's training you and, as you start to set those healthy boundaries, it can really help. The other part of it is getting out of fight or flight is like building a muscle. It takes practice, it takes reps. It's like going to the gym. The gym of coming back into a grounded space. And, you know, I gave you some examples of things that can help. And as you practice, you might find other things that you can help that can help you. For me, one of my big triggers is being late.

And so I would often end up on the subway or on a bus, and I, I went to sleep, and my nervous system is at a 100, which is not the right size reaction.

Um, but one of the things that I found just through trying to figure it out, was, if I could find someone, and this is like, I'm slightly embarrassed to say this but it was helpful for me so I'm gonna be embarrassed.

If I could find someone on the bus or the subway, that I was attracted to it would help me come into the present moment, because I would be with that person I'd be like, wow, they're super good looking. and it would bring me out of wherever my brain was, and it would bring me back into them here and now. No one ever taught me that it was just literally, out of, you know, part desperation part, trying to heal that I started to, you know, I guess one thing I want to say is like, even if your listeners start to recognize when your anxiety is peaking like that's a win because awareness is huge. And then once you get aware, then you can start to try these different techniques of looking around that kind of thing. 

Another technique that I find super helpful is exercise, get, like, gets me back into my body back into the present moment. Do I want to exercise when I'm anxious, hell no. Like hard to convince my brain. When I'm in the anxiety, it's hard for me to do anything other than be worried about being late. In that example. But, if I can just like put on a song and dance, or to a wall, sit at the at the wall, like all of these things are going to help. So, it is a commitment, it is a practice. It's not like you do this once, and it's gone and I wish I had a magic pill for all your listeners, but the way that I got through it was like hot hard fought it was like blood sweat and tears to be more grounded. But it's so worth it. Like, I think my anxiety. I think I used to be anxious about 90% of the time and now I'm anxious about 30% of the time. So I have so much of my life back. I have so many hours, where I get to be relaxed or joyful or playful. And so, yes, it is hard work, but to me it's totally worth it.

[18:30] VL: Absolutely. I know exactly how that feels when you're just caught up in your anxiety and a lot of the examples you shared in a lot of the tools you just shared were life on the common the common similarity between them all was that they're all very physical. So whether you're looking for something or you're trying to touch something or you're going to do a physical activity and exercise. It's that earth energy that like grounding you down. 

Yeah, that heaviness of life again bringing myself back here where that jittery anxious feeling is very like whoa like way up, you feel like you're floating or running or doing you're running from the tiger, whereas everything else is a little bit more grounding. And I like when you use the word digest, so it's like you can't digest things we think this is a really interesting part about with, with my anxiety journey anyway that I've been really listening to how other people describe how they're feeling I listened to how people describe their anxiety. And so when they say things like, I feel frozen or, I'm having trouble, like, like because physically you can't look you can't heal you can't digest food but it's interesting to hear what people come up with, because those are huge signs, about what your body is actually going through. So when you're getting an overload of information you say like like oh my gosh this is too much, I can't adjust it also look at what your, your digestive system is going through. Are you backed up in your digestive system. Do you have too much on your plate. Are you, you know what I mean like those every, everyone thinks that they're just like, oh they're phrases, but they're more than that they're information from your body. So, it's, yeah, it's just those little things I've been kind of picking up as you as you were describing them. 

I do want to circle back to healthy boundaries, though, because this is so important, especially around this time of year, with getting more invitations to parties and, you know, thinking that we have to have a gift for every single person that we know. So let's talk a little bit more about healthy boundaries around the holidays, what are some of your, your key tips and and teachings.


[20:24] BB: Yeah, so I think the first step is, look at why don't you set, healthy boundaries. If you're a people pleaser. Are you worried about what your friends are gonna think some of my clients will say something like, oh, but I love everything I do, but I'm just like, totally dead at the end of the day, but everything I'm doing I love, and it's like too much of a good thing kind of like too much on your plate. Like you were just saying is, isn't healthy. And so, it's important to start to look at what stopped, what has historically stopped you from setting healthy boundaries because you can go in with like the rah rah I'm going to set healthy boundaries, but if you're still telling yourself these stories.

And since this is the women's empowerment podcast. I think it's important to say like women are conditioned, not to set healthy boundaries. For me, the word bitch is a woman who has boundaries. A woman who says no. It's like a good thing, but we're socialized to think that we shouldn't have boundaries we shouldn't take care of everyone we should be giving we should be compassionate, and all of these things and one of my favorite quotes ever is you can be a good person, with a kind heart, and still say no.

And the quote is unknown I've googled I've tried to find who who it's attributed to if anyone knows like seriously DM me on Instagram I want to know who wrote, who wrote that quote. But, um, yeah, it's, it's starting to realize like all of the unpaid labor that women often end up doing. So just thinking about the holidays like party planning, who's cooking. It was buying the gifts.

Um, if you're in a heterosexual relationship is it balanced, or are you doing more of the work. And so I think that's kind of the first part of almost the education piece around, like, why don't we, why don't women historically saying no as much why don't we have, as healthy boundaries. Typically, and starting to unpack that.

The next part, I would say, is to, again, like it's the same principle as the anxiety, in the sense that you're building a new muscle.

Or maybe you've been building it for a while. I'm sure some of your listeners have been working on their boundaries. But there's still room for improvement.

So again, taking baby steps taking a two pound weight, if that's where you're at just sending a mini like a mini boundary like. For me, I started setting healthy boundaries.

One of my healthy boundaries was like calling into work sick when I was actually sick. I would like feel guilty about calling in sick. When I was sick. And so, like that, maybe doesn't even seem like a boundary but for me at that stage it was so that's where I had to start. Um, you can do them orally, you can do them over text. I think sometimes people are like, I didn't do it in the moment. I didn't say it in the moment I lost my chance, and it's like, Yes, I think the goal for all of us is to like have perfectly beautiful boundaries in the moment we say exactly what we need and exactly what we're not okay with, but that doesn't.

You know, we make mistakes, we're not perfect. And so you can, you know, say yes to something, and then the next day. Text Your friend and say you know what I thought about it and I am not going to be able to make the pie, or I'm not going to be able to make it at all or, you know what, why don't we just schedule some one on one time with you guys and in January whatever kind of situation is going to be helpful for you. And the other thing like, I want to say is, you're going to make mistake. Sometimes you're going to set a boundary that's too big, it's gigantic. Sometimes you're going to set a boundary that's too small. And that's okay. That's part of building these healthy boundary muscles it's like the same with going to the gym if you have a workout that's not that great, it doesn't mean you just like give up working out completely. And you can actually learn from it, you're like, oh, that was too big of a boundary. And then you can start to find your boundary, sweet spot with different people in different situations. So those are some of the first steps might be like I could talk for hours about.

[25:41] VL: This is so helpful and when I was kind of learning about my own personal boundaries, and what made sense to me. I didn't even realize how much of a people pleaser I was how much of a yes person I was saying yes to everything. And then finding myself at this position where I had just way too much going on. And so, the first place that I started was, I do not work on Sundays. And that was my boundary I do not work on, on Sundays. And it shifted a little bit to. Okay now I don't do split shifts, so I'm either working all morning, or I'm working all night, but I'm not doing both. and it was a it was a really interesting kind of like, I guess evolution of how that the schedule boundary kind of worked for me. And then the other boundary that happened was I was working out in the mornings really early in huntable morning routine. I had just changed a lot recently. 

But my other boundary was okay and I don't start work until 8am I do not work any earlier than 8am. I teach bloodies and do code health coaching so the hours are a little bit funny sometimes. However, it was not going to be any time between before 8am, because my morning routine was solid and I needed that Meantime, and as long as I had that morning workout and I have like this coffee ritual and journaling ritual. I was able to show up as a better person, and when I realized that I'm saying no, because I'm being a better service, when I do these things for myself. 

And that was a really big shift that I had to make in my mind and in myself to say it's okay to say, No, I also read a book I can't remember which book this was, but it was one of a personal development book. And if I remember I'll put it in the show notes. But the book was saying, start by saying no to everything. Before you start saying yes to anything and I was like, are you kidding me What if I can do it. And so, I tried it because I was trying everything at the time I'm like, you know what, let's do an experiment, that's what I kept thinking. And I would say no to every single thing, or I would say, let me think about it as my cousin wanted to reply immediately but I said let me have a think about this, or let me check my schedule before I commit to this. And then I could go back and say, Thanks for your patience. I went on my schedule and you know what, this works great for I thank you for your patience, like to my schedule, and this has not worked for me. And I didn't feel that and most of the time, because not that we're not important human beings like humans are important and it's great but we all live in our own realities, and we think that the world revolves around us sometimes.

I'm just gonna say it. And I was so I was one of those people who believe that I was so nervous that people were not going to like me anymore that I was going to get fired that people weren't going to be my friend if I didn't go to all these parties or girly things.

And what ended up happening. The responses were. Thanks so much for your quick reply. Or, thank you so much for your honesty, or, thank you so much for recognizing and honoring your boundaries, you've just helped me give myself permission to do the same. How empowering, is it to say, I'm showing up for myself. This is my boundary, and I'm honoring it. That just gave someone else, the permission are the sign or the reminder that they can do that to you. Rather than saying yes to everything and then coming at it with a bad attitude right.

[29:15] BB: Yeah, no, I love that. I actually recently wrote on Instagram, about a dance event I went to so I started learning about shadow which is a partner dance kind of similar to salsa. And, um, so I would go to these socials, and whenever anyone asked me to dance, I would say yes because it was new, and I was like, I don't know what I'm doing, how do I, I can't say no I should just, I need to practice of that so I kind of socialized myself to say yes yes yeah. And I remember one night, where I was just like, not having a good time. I was dancing with people I didn't want to dance with, like I wasn't feeling a connection. And so I just flipped the script, and I did exactly what that book recommends, I was like, I'm just gonna say no, because I was like should I go home. 

I was like, I'm not having a good time. And so that, wanting to go home, gave myself permission to just say no and so I just, yeah, again, so I was like no or not right now or, I'm taking a break whatever when anyone asked me, and then I'm one of the Tata dance instructors asked me to dance. And they hold on he was like, Yes, I want to dance with an instructor who like totally can teach me all the things. And I ended up having a great dance. And I guess like the lesson for me from that was, if I had said no to the guy that had asked me like literally 30 seconds before the instructor asked me I wouldn't have had, like, I wouldn't that opportunity probably would have come and gone and I wouldn't have had this amazing experience that really helped me as a dancer and was just fun.

And so that's one of the kind of insights I had about how when you say no, even if there's nothing good at that moment. You never know what's coming.

VL: Yeah, it reminded me of a quote that something along the lines of, if it's not a hell yes, it's a hell no. Or, because these are like fun little reminders right like what feels good for you and if it doesn't feel good when you say no to something that doesn't really feel great, or you're not in alignment with you're making room for something that does. And I think it's important to have that permission, especially for women who feel the need to be perfectionist or to be people pleasers and obviously to get out of that mindset is powerful, but to have these reminders like it's okay if you say no to this it's okay if you don't want to do this today, but you wanted to do it yesterday or you want to do it tomorrow. Being able to stand in your truth and be empowered enough to say this is what I want.

That’s huge.

[32:12] BB:  Yeah. And the other thing that I think women really struggle with is like changing their mind. I can't tell you how many clients have said, but I already said yes. and it's like, and then you thought about it and you changed your mind.

We all have the right. And of course, like yeah you don't want to be flaky you don't want to be the person that's like canceling 20 minutes before it's possible I mean sometimes that does happen we get sick all of a sudden or something comes up and you do have to cancel at the last minute, but I know for me like my intention is to to honor my word. But that doesn't mean like, I'm married to my word, and I'm going to just do whatever the other person wants me to just because I said, So, last week which was not a busy week and then this week I'm feeling overwhelmed.

Like, you have the right to change your mind.

[32:32] VL: So it's interesting that you said that, because we had a. We had a meeting scheduled for Monday this week and now it's Thursday, and I got called into the studio on Monday, and through my head I was thinking, I have 1,000,010 things to do, and most of them were kind of like at home I could kind of do them wherever, whenever, but one of them. one of the things that was really important to me was this this conversation, and I was like I'm just feeling his guilt, but I was like oh my god I'm gonna have to cancel him out to cancel, and I looked at my schedule, I thought, you know what I have a break between my classes where I could fit in this conversation. But when I thought about it, I said to myself, I'm like, you know what, this is not how I want to go into this conversation. I don't want to go into it feeling like my whole schedule just got turned upside down. I'm feeling anxious I have to teach a lot of cold classes I have to be somewhere where I don't like recording the podcast because it's noisy. The space is too big and there's construction outside the studio so I could have technically kept our appointment.

However, I know that. It just wouldn't have been the same energetically and so, you know, I, at first I was like, Oh, I feel so bad about this but then when I reached out to you and you were so understanding thank you so much again for rescheduling with me. I felt so much better and there's just this relief because I knew that I wasn't in the place to be holding space for someone else. So, yeah, and I hate doing that so much, and mostly because, like I appreciate I would rather someone say no to me than say yes and then keep canceling or rescheduling or not showing up. I would just rather you say hey you know what, I can't do this anymore, then toss me around right. Um, but it happened it came up and it happened so I had to do. I had to make a change. 


BB: Yeah. And, you know, this is an example, this doesn't always work out this way. But this is an example where, you know, I have my whole week calendar and I just switch whatever is supposed to do then, with Thursday, I just switched my Monday for Thursday at this time. And to me it's like, no difference and sometimes it is an inconvenience for the other person. Other thing I want to say to all the women is, that's okay. They can have an inconvenient sometime world's not gonna fall apart.


VL:  Yes. That's a very good reminder I think it's hard to hear sometimes but we definitely need to hear it. Well, honestly, I think this was a very helpful conversation that we're having especially around this time of year. And like I said, whether we want to hear it or not, we need to we need to hear the truth. So, before we move into our last part of the show or our last segment, let us know where we can find you where we can follow you and how we can support your business.

[36:15] BB: Yeah, so, um, my name is Brynn Bamber I'm sure you'll spell this all out in the show notes, but I'm on Instagram I'm at Brynn underscore Bamber on LinkedIn I think I'm e Bryn Bamber, um, secret factors my first name is actually Erica but I go by brand. And I'm Facebook I'm brand member. So those are all the places. Um, I'd love to hear from your listeners so if something resonated, or if you have any questions about what we were talking about, feel free to DM me on Instagram or, like, send me a message on Facebook or LinkedIn wherever you are. I'd love to hear like what you loved about the show or what you were confused fine. I can hopefully help. Try to clarify. Um, and the other thing I wanted to offer to your listeners is my anxiety mini training so it's a 10 minute training. And it's a training for when you are anxious. This is something you do. in the moment, when you're feeling anxious.

Um, you'll get a video version and an audio version so you can even like save it to your phones and literally like run into the bathroom and put your earbuds in and listen to it if you're like, at a holiday party and you're losing your ship. Um, but it's basically breathing feeling your body, a whole exercise that my experience, it doesn't always make my anxiety disappear. And this is what my clients say too, but it usually will reduce your anxiety by 50%, or more. So, gives you a little bit of breathing room from that anxiety. If you have to make a decision because sometimes like when we're anxious just because something happened. The aunt showed up at the party that everyone said wasn't going to or. She had COVID four days ago and didn't get tested or whatever the scenario is and like you got to deal with it. This is something that can just reduce your anxiety enough that you can get out of that tunnel vision where it's very hard to make strategic decisions, good decisions, get into a little bit more relaxed place where you can like feel into yourself feel into your intuition and know what you need to do. So you can find it a tiny url.com slash anxiety training and I'm sure we'll put it in the notes as well. 

VL: Absolutely. So it's really easy to find you because it's your name. Okay, rapid fire round, are you ready.

BB: No… I'm ready 

VL: we'll take your breath Okay, inhale. So good. Don't worry, it's not that much pressure. It's just about your favorite things.

[39:42] Question number one. What are you currently reading or what is your favorite book.

BB: I am reading right now My Grandmother's Hands, which is a book about.

It's, it's about the US really but it's about anti black racism, but through the lens of a body psychotherapist. So I'm, I'm a somatic I'm not a psycho therapist, but I'm a mental health practitioner that uses Sati and the author of the book. Also, in that world and so it's a really interesting part of it is like history and statistics and stuff, but a lot of it is about how racism has impacted our nervous systems, how racism has impacted the book is kind of specific it's like talking about white people's nervous systems, black people's nervous systems and police officers nervous system. So it's really interesting i mean he does. There is some criticism of it that he leaves out certain groups, other people of color. But, um, as a starting point, it's really an interesting lens into the world we're living in right now. 

VL: It does sound very interesting. I'm gonna link to that book in the show notes as well. And, question number two is, what do you love most about being a woman?

BB: multiple orgasms.

VL: Okay, I have to be honest, every single I do this with every single guest, and every single answer is completely different and I'm surprised every time and I love it so good. 

BB: You're gonna say every woman says the same. 

VL: I'm sure that we'll start saying, Okay, question number three What does empowerment mean to you.

So I think empowerment is someone who's willing to keep looking at themselves and doing the work and listening to podcasts like this and working on themselves. And so they keep having breakthroughs and with these break through I think you get more power, more access to your, your power that was always yours but that we get confused about sometimes.

BB: For me, it has an association for having some sort of breakthrough. Like, I think the thing that I feel the most alive. All my jobs all the things I've done in my career is like when someone has a breakthrough. And just like, Ah, this is like what I live for.

VL: Question number three: what are you currently working toward?

BB: Man, I guess I'm super passionate about core energetics because it's been so life changing for me. So it really want more people to have access to it so I'm doing a lot of guest interviews on podcast and trying to spread the word writing a memoir about my personal story and struggle with it. And so, I feel like my mission right now is getting this powerful tool into the hands of more people looking at the Godfrey, 

VL: we're gonna have to have you on again for a core energetics demo for sure. However, before you go I do want to say thank you so much again for being part of the show, and for sharing all of this information I know that it's going to be very helpful it's been helpful for me and my attorney in my experience, I know that'll be helpful for the listeners who are tuning in today. And I also want you to know that you are very appreciated, your voice is appreciated, your journey is appreciated. You know a lot of us come, a lot of us healers come from that wounded healer background and it's hard to show up to the parents, and so for you to be doing that for you to be stepping into this, this space and this leadership role and this teacher role, I think is is so empowering to see you, to see you move through these spaces, and you're very much appreciated by, by the people who are watching and following so so keep doing what you're doing, keep shining.

BB: Thanks so much for having me.

LINKS:

Anxiety Mini-Training - tinyurl.com/anxietytraining

Email Bryn - bryn@brynbamber.com

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/bryn_bamber/

LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/bryn-bamber-she-her-902639b4/

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/bryn.bamber.5

The Burnout to Brilliance podcast with Bryn Bamber.

iTunes - https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/burnout-to-brilliance/id1440791565

Everywhere else - anchor.fm/burnout
Website: www.brynbamber.com

 
Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E106: Sustainable & Ethical Gift Guide
 
 

E106: Sustainable & Ethical Gift Guide with Veronica & Alora May of SAM & LANCE

Sister duo Alora & Veronica May are the creators of SAM & LANCE, an online retailer that helps empower people to shop ethically and shop transparently, and also shop women owned…


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[0:31] Valerie LaVigne: Ladies, thank you so much for joining me on the women's empowerment Podcast. I am so excited that you're both here I know that one of you is in Canada, and the other is in Singapore so it's so great that we can be connected via zoom today. And, why don't you tell us a little bit about your brand and what you do.


Alora May: Thanks so much for having us. Um, so I'm Alora and I am the co founder and CEO of Sam and Lance. So we started this business in April of 2019 as a way to help empower people to shop ethically and shop transparent transparently, and also shop women owned.


VL: On the show, we talked about sustainability we talked about shopping, like we we talk about women's empowerment I feel like this is a great. This is a great episode in partnership so I'm so excited that were chatting today, and because we're coming into the holiday season, and we're getting ready to spend a little bit more and shop a little bit more. We're also going to be talking about some of your favorite products, or our audience. So, let's go through the kind of gift guide that we've prepared for today. What's our first item on the list.


Veronica May: So, hi I'm Veronica. Other co founder of Sam and Lance, and for gifting this year we really wanted people to really stop and think about the things you want to send to your relatives. You want to make sure you're supporting things that are local you want to make sure that you're supporting women so we put together gift boxes to kind of help you on this journey. So one that's really excited about is our Zero Waste starter kit. So we have a number of different items that are going to help your friends and family and maybe even up shop yourself, I can do that, terribly. And so in this kit, you're going to have like reusable cotton pads that people can take their makeup off, or you can actually even use them for like children's faces like throw them in your purse. They're a mom. We have produce bags. So you can bring your produce bags to the grocery store and you don't use the plastic. So the number of products in there to help people start their Zero Waste journey. And we also like to advocate like zero waste is happy perfect it's just baby steps. So, by giving this to family members and helping them, put them in the mindset of shopping ethically 


AM: and it was really cool about the zero waste kit on to that okay jump in is a few products in there that you might not think of, like for example we have a vegan and sustainable floss that's in a glass bottle so people don't really think about floss when they think of a scannability but there's a lot of plastic and things that go into floss that isn't great for our environment so you know we really like bringing these products to the forefront and having people have these conversations so then that way you know when you think about your next purchase or you're thinking about, oh my floss just ran out let me, let me get a new one and you just kind of start thinking about how my next purchase and my next thing can be sustainable. So that's why we really love the zero waste kit because it helps people just start that conversation in their own head about the products that they're using that they might not have thought of before.


VL: That's a really great point. And that's kind of where I've been on this zero waste journey, and the beginning of my Zero Waste journey I felt so guilty for like company I guess I was out oh my god this is single use plastic like oh my god I had to use a Glock bag and not beeswax, like, three years. But what I started to realize was it actually starts with just being more aware about the products that we're currently using like, where does this go when I get rid of it where does this flasco when I throw it out and so I actually switched my floss recently to in like q tips or bamboo q tips, which is again like something you don't think about they're not gonna reuse your kitchen. That's weird. Anyways, this sounds like an amazing kit and for people who are listening who maybe have heard the term Zero Waste but aren't exactly sure what it is, can you tell us a little bit about that.


[4:16] VM: Yeah, so the terms are especially a little misleading. A lot of people get nervous cuz you're like, oh I could be one of those people that puts trash in a mason jar and I'm literally create zero waste, but what it is is a journey, it's a momentum to reduce the amount of waste and to start consciously, like you said, thinking about where does this go at the end of its life, everything I'm using so start like everything that's been made of plastic is still on this earth today, every single toothbrush you have ever used is still somewhere on this planet and when you start taking this mindset be like okay, what can I use differently. And the other thing too is we actually named the company after our grandmother's, but thinking about your grandparents is a great way to get in the zero waste mindset, because what we're grandparents doing before all this plastic came into the world. So there's so many tips and tricks there's so many things you'll find online if you're lucky enough to still have your grandparents around you can actually ask them like, what did you guys used to do. And so it's about this journey to just reduce your waste to be really conscious of where it's going and where what you decide to do.


VL: And love that you guys named your company after your grandparents because I my grandma actually lived with us. my whole life ago. I only remember my grandparents living with us my grandma's still around. And I do notice little things that she does that I'm like oh that's over cork, but she's basically reusing jars or containers or whatever it is that she's doing and it's very different from what we're used to, or used to doing but I feel like we're kind of turning backwards a little bit with that so that's exciting. And I'm going to link to actually each of these products that we're talking about on the show notes page. So before I forget, that's going to be at Valerie Levine life.com, forward slash Sam, and Lance spelled out completely, so it's easy to find. Okay, what's our what's on our shopping list for number two, what's the next thing that we're going to get, for us, and then also for other people.


[6:09] AM: So we've curated different gift boxes and all of our different themes. So one of them we call be relaxed box. And this is just an awesome gift to give somebody, you know, to relax. So we have some bath salts in there, incense some body oil and some tea. So, it's also pretty gender neutral as well so you could gift it to anybody you know a friend, your mom, your brother, it doesn't really matter. It's a great gift for everybody. And then we'd like to also say that like our products tell us story so the T is tes t so it's a Toronto based brand, and it's an amazing ethical tea but a lot of the proceeds go to their charity program and give back and, you know, all of our products kind of have this lovely story behind it and story but the woman who made it so you know even with these gift boxes you're giving them this relaxing gift that also, you kind of get to learn these stories behind all these really awesome products, it's not just, you know, something off the shelf that doesn't give back.


VM: And the cool thing about the relaxed box to actually it just happened to be every box is different but this relaxed box is all Toronto based, which is kind of cool. So for any of you like Toronto listeners, you want to shop local. This box is all local Toronto women owned businesses which is extra. We think it's good for Toronto right


VL: We think it's good for Toronto right yeah I love, I love the idea of getting like all my gifts as local businesses or supporting local businesses, tell us a little bit more about the other businesses that you're supporting so you have women in Toronto. Do you have them all over the world or is it mostly Canada.


AM: Yeah, so we have suppliers and products from all over the world so we have Ghana's Cypress Madagascar, obviously Canada in the US but it's really really interesting to see, you know the the different charities and people and women around the world that they support. So, you know, we have these women in Palestine who embroider this beautiful designs onto bags and shoes so that's one of our favorite suppliers and we have karma who makes necklaces and jewelry and from Porsche the transitioning and homeless youth in Toronto, make these jewelry and that helps to give them an income so that's another one of our really awesome suppliers that we have here,


VL: I’m actually get like goosebumps when you talk about this because as you know my brand is all about empowering women. And it's so incredible that we live in such like a small world like that we can connect to people in Africa, and people in Europe and people through we can even Canada in the US like these are huge countries that were able to support all these women globally. So, this is really exciting I know I have listeners from all over the world so I'm sure that it's happening all over the world today.


AM: We only ship to the US but however we do ship globally if someone emails and gives us a certain request so we've had that before and we've made accommodations based on like individual requests, which is fine.


[9:10] VL: Yeah. Okay, that's really good to know. That's, I'm glad I asked that. So, we have the relax box, and let's say like, I love baths, so much. I love tea, but I don't drink a lot of tea. I don't drink as much tea as I'd like to drink. So let's say I want extra vassals, can I also order these products separately. When I'm shopping. 


VM: Yeah, absolutely.


VL: Okay. Perfect. Okay, so this is all exciting because already I'm just like yes I want that because I want that, maybe I'll just tell people this is the link that I want everyone to shop at and that will be for me. We have one more special box that we want to talk about.



[9:59] AM:  I also want to talk about the wearable aroma therapy gift boxes I just thought about one and I feel like you would love this and you should put this on your Christmas list because it also includes two products from brands that I just mentioned so there's a necklace from kind karma, which is the one that's made by transitioning and homeless youth and it has three different stones on it. And basically you can put essential oils on these stones and then you can, you know, relax and empower yourself throughout the day with whatever your scent is, but then also within the wearable aromatherapy bonds be included in essential oil that's made in Madagascar so it's a really cool bond that has these two items that's a really really fun gift to give somebody that we feel like we haven't seen anywhere else or done anywhere else.


VL: Oh my gosh, I love that I'm always looking for wearable aroma therapy because the special stones are typically they're lava rock or lava stones. And, yeah, they're like little diffusers basically and you just had a couple of drops in them, oh my god I love that actually, I couldn't find any necklaces and bracelets that I really liked so I started making just my own for, like, I wouldn't want to do retreats and things like, I make little extra ones but oh my god I'm so excited about that we're definitely going to add that into the list.


Okay everyone, we've done all my shopping today. Check. Okay, so now we have a fourth, we have a fourth kit that we want to talk about what which ones that one.


VM: Yep, so we want this year we launched our subscription service. So we think this week four times a year you would get a box full of ethical, sustainable items that are from companies made by women delivered to your doorstep. So we have two options we have the classic box, which is $66 and that's a collection of pieces that are already on our website you kind of get to try some kind of usable items like candle, with some nice bullet candle in there or like skincare. I think you'll actually use from our stuff and then we have the exclusive box where sometimes we can't. If we can't work with the supplier directly or you find some really special ones. He's good to go into our exclusive box and these aren't yet available on our site. So we do extra work to find new brands for you to love. And the thing about the box is to make sure that these items are usable. And we also try and make sure that the packaging is as eco friendly as possible. And we do everything in our power to make sure there's no plastic in there. And if there is we've actually worked with suppliers to have them change their packaging to be able to put them into the box which was a really big deal for us and it was wonderful that they're able to do that. So one thing that we think is great is that, to give this as a gift. It's like the gift that keeps on giving. So you know when you have like your sister or like your best friend for you spend a little more on her like giving her a couple months of the subscription boxes throughout the years to us will be about 16 per special, and we think would make an awesome gift and if Alora didn’t already have a subscription that's probably what she would be getting from me for Christmas.


VL: That's such a great gift because you're right it does get like the gift that keeps on giving. If I got a gift, every four months. Oh my god. 


AM: Because you it's seasonal right so it's each season you get a new box, all winter, spring, summer, fall, and then we try to keep it seasonal as well so on our summer box we had like all natural bug spray and some other summer items and fall we made sure to have a nice like cozy candle. And so I would have tote bags that would be like perfect for apple picking like we really like really thought about this. You told me I gravel thinking this is my number one thing we need to find this.


VL: Yes Oh my God, I went apple picking for the first time this year and they gave us like a reusable tote but there was there was like third plastic on it so I was like, oh, okay, I mean it's reusable but anyway. Wow, that's so exciting. Oh my god, and then is it a surprise every month or do you are each season I mean, or do you know what it is 

AM: surprise each season, and we do you know spoilers leading up to it, but it is pretty much a surprise and then we also do have an add on market so if you're a subscriber to the subscription box right before we ship it out we send you you know a few of our select products from our site and we offer a pretty great discount on those to add on to your subscription box that's something that we,


VM: we also do which is like another little perk that you get just if you're as a scription box subscriber, but also for guests we had a few people who bought subscription boxes for themselves and then we're like, you know what I'm going to get out I'm going to look at the products that I'm going to give out a few of them which were like yep that's an awesome idea. And then after they got to be like, I just want to keep everything myself having to purchase additional just for their friends because they just kept everything for themselves, 


VL: that's I'm so that person I'm like yeah just get this subscription box and then I'll share and I'm like, like, what, no I want this and I want this, so amazing. I love the idea of the add on market that is such a great idea for business but also for just getting more of these sustainable ethical products and supporting more women with these products bringing them into your home. That is amazing. So now that we kind of have this idea of all the products that we want for our holiday gift. And our holiday self giving. 


[15:10] Let us know about I want to know about like the top three products and each and each home that you use every single day or like the most often that you use. I'm very curious.


VM: But so tough because yeah we everything on our site, we, it's very curated, we wouldn't put on our site if we won't use it, which makes it dangerous for us in our personal wallets as well. But in the best way. Um, so, I think my top of view we have a, it's a plain white tea, and it sounds super silly that I'm saying this but it's my favorite item I literally wear it like three times a week and have to wash it, so often. It's plain white tea it's a zero waste tea so it's made with all organic cotton fibers, and it comes with a barcode. So at the end of the natural life cycle when you are done with the shirt, you get to send it back to the woman on manufacturer of their twat, and they properly recycle it into a new t shirt, and then resell it. So it's really really cool it's a great woman owned company and this T shirt is just perfect. It's so soft, it's just the perfect cut and I yeah I say daily and I wear that shirt.


I think the other one would be province apothecary has a beautiful oil based cleanser I'm really big on skincare and oil based cleansers it just works so well for my skin and it just smells like a spa I end up just like sniffing my face one washing it and it's such a beautiful relaxing experience. The other problems apothecary moisturizing oil based cleanser. 


I'm so big on the loofa. Okay, first of all, I learned this recently a loofa is actually a vegetable vegetable when it grows on land, I always thought it was like a sea sponge or something, but it's not like a bikini looking gourd thing. And, and you can actually eat them. But if they leave them on the vine longer they dry out and scrub your body. So we had this wonderful vendor from Nova Scotia, and she was looking to retire but wanted to have a farm and she just wanted a crop that would make some money and give her something to do so she created this loofa farm and so she's like the loofa Lee. And so it's just so wonderful like to support this woman's second career and these are just adorable vegetable based on the scrubbers and I just, I love that really gentle exfoliating. The don't get like the musty smell like you would on fire or something. So it has like certainly at microbial properties are really cool and then when you're kind of done with it for your body you can use it on the dishes or disrupt your floor and stuff. It's really cool. So yeah, good point or I do love the little lady.


AM: I'm probably like wearing my top three, which I know it's a podcast and bespoke can't see but I'll show you. So this is one of my favorite bracelets is again by kind karma, and it's a Morse code bracelet. So, it's a bunch of different things.


You can pick so this one actually says string in Morse code. And so there's like love and there's hope so you can kind of pick what message you want to wear just kind of like as a nice reminder to yourself, and that you got it and there this year. Um, so I ran this daily in the shower and it's like my favorite one.


Another one would be, we have what's called like a Yukon soap, so it's actually made up north in the Yukon and it's an indigenous made soap and has like three ingredients, and it's just like so good It's so nice. I usually like every day in the shower, and it's really nice to support I get paid in companies on indigenous made products and women who are doing great things in Canada. So those are two, um, what's my third favorite, there's so many.


Um, I just started using it and like I just ran out of my other shampoos or I just got, we have like a color hair and everywhere on shampoo bar. And so, for people who don't know shampoo bars are just like kind of a bar soap but you just use them like shampoo. So that way you're eliminating waste because it's just the bar you're not having a plastic bottle or even a glass bottle. And so it's really really great to just kind of get more into that less is more lifestyle. And then it's made from all like Zambian ingredients and hundred percent of the profits go to clean water in Zambia, so you just like washing your hair with purpose.



[19:47] VL: I think that's so amazing and I feel like people should really be aware of not only Where is my product going. But where did my product come from. So this is a really cool part of, of what you offer and how you support, support other businesses to with your business. When we are shopping on your site. Do we see the stories do we see the people do we see where it's coming from, or is that like something that you get when you open up your product, you open up your package


VM: on the site so when you click on every product you can scroll down to the bottom, and we have a section that describes like the product itself the ingredients if it's skincare anything and then we have a story about the woman and a story about the brand. So, it's really interesting to see how different the braid of the women are but but usually the woman has her own beautiful story behind why she started it or what her story is and then again then the story behind, who the brain supports. And then we also if they do support an external charity or cause we do have that description in there as well. So you actually get to learn everything about it. And we do a whole bunch of research and verifications and checks before we put anybody on the site so if there's information that you're not sure of about a product but you want to know more about the raw materials you can actually just reach out to us, and we have the verification there if it's what you're looking for.


So, which is pretty cool but we can only conclude so much information because we just think people get bored.


AM: Yeah, and also have everything categorized by six values. So within that woman brand, and all that information we have another tab that's our values so we have six different values, which is certified so if they have certification like GTS or Fairtrade we have cruelty free, which of course all our products are but we have thought of ethically manufactured purpose driven sustainably sourced and waste reducing so you can see that that's what we're talking about. We're really really transparent and we have these like special categories that we created you can shop by your values and filter out all the products that are purpose driven they give back or that are sustainably sourced so we really really go deep into all of that to try to make it easy for people when they're shopping, so amazing.


VL: It's like a whole experience around these six values and the and supporting supporting female businesses. So, you are both females, and you are both running this business, tell us a little bit about your story I know you mentioned your grandmother's before and how you created SAM & LANCE


AM: It's like a whole experience around these six values and the and supporting supporting female businesses. So, you are both females, and you are both running this business, tell us a little bit about your story I know you mentioned your grandmother's before and how you cope with it but how you played it safe.



VL: That's so cool. I love that I find that probably is one of those like eye opening things that you are getting this experience you're gaining all of these amazing memories but you're also learning so much about different people and different cultures and it's really cool because I think a lot of people go on trips and they think like, Oh, I want to change this, I want to bring this back and, but you're actually doing it, and I can't believe your business is so young, you guys are doing amazing I'm so proud of you both one oh my god I had no idea that you were only like a year and a half. That's like a little baby this is so exciting. Oh my goodness. Okay, we have one more. It's like part of the segment or one more segment in the show and it's the rapid fire round. So I'm going to ask you both for questions, and you can choose whoever wants to go first. And it's really fun and exciting and easy. Are you ready. I think so, yeah, I feel like, so usually like, are


[24:39] RAPID FIRE ROUND!


Question One: What are you currently reading or what is your favourite book?


VM: I have so many favorite books, I'm, I'm super into merch Haruki Murakami right now because I've read one to 84 and it is one of my top three favorite books of all time. And I'll say that I am reading.

AM: By, again, going on to like travel train but like my favorite book is a book, a little book called The desire for elsewhere and Veronica actually found this book for me i think you know like in a Singapore museum gift shop or something like that. And it's just like this little beautiful novel. It's just like a narrative about this woman's desire for elsewhere and travel and just talks about like little stories and you can probably read in an afternoon but it's just like this, like, like my favorite book.


Question Two: What do you love most about being a woman?


VM: I love feeling empowered about the little thing. I just, I love like. I love like putting on cozy sweatpants and like a little t shirt and feeling sexy I love like being able to have this opportunity to do whatever I want. Without these inhibitions where I feel like so many men have this inhibition to get to be masculine you have to be this you have to be that you can't have feelings but we're allowed to we get to have these feelings we have so much more. I just feel like we have a little bit more richness to our lives and sorry to the men who have their richness I don't know do you but I just feel like we have so much more of a chain to express ourselves and to be ourselves and there's more room for us and I also love this supportive sisterhood, especially lately like women are supporting each other so much more. And, and there's always been these tight knit communities of women all over the world throughout history and I just love that about women.


AM: Yeah, I was gonna say like the sisterhood like I just love like women coming together and like we've seen that obviously in the last you know two years that the community that we've built the same Atlanta, but then also you know like we met through make lemonade and I just love seeing these like groups of women come together and like kind of maybe an off side but you like stories about like in World War Two and like how the women like what all band together and they were like actually having better survival rates because they would take care of each other, whereas like the men wouldn't have that type of like camaraderie and help that they didn't have as high of survival rate so I just think it's like throughout history like just seeing women come together and support each other and care for each other and with each other off I think that's so awesome.


Question Three: What does empowerment mean to you?


VM: I thought about this whole blog, especially because of the Stacy working and I still have such a hard time coming up with an answer. But I think kind of what I touched on before it's like empowerment to me means being brave and being able to be every part of you, and feeling strong enough to be able to do that. So I think that's why things like your podcasts are so important to is to help people find that part of them and to empower themselves to find that bravery and to find that strength.


AM: Oh yeah, I know I did something similar to like, I, I agree. And I think for me empowerment is, you know, being brave enough to do things, be brave enough to talk about it and be brave enough to fail. And, you know, I think that especially at the beginning of starting this company, you know, we had a lot or at least I know I had a lot of imposter syndrome and like, barely would talk about what we were doing was almost not good enough for you know maybe when we have more products on holiday, you know tell more people and they just felt like it was never good enough and now that we're doing this. Well, we'll see. And we just did subscription boxes and you know, we're just like talking so much because if it you know something works or something people like it that's great but you know if they don't, if that part doesn't catch on that's okay it's, we'll chalk it up as a learning and we'll just keep moving on to me that is one part of it.


Question Four: What are you currently working toward?


VM: Oh yeah, I know I did something similar to like, I, I agree. And I think for me empowerment is, you know, being brave enough to do things, be brave enough to talk about it and be brave enough to fail. And, you know, I think that especially at the beginning of starting this company, you know, we had a lot or at least I know I had a lot of imposter syndrome and like, barely would talk about what we were doing was almost not good enough for you know maybe when we have more products on holiday, you know tell more people and they just felt like it was never good enough and now that we're doing this. Well, we'll see. And we just did subscription boxes and you know, we're just like talking so much because if it you know something works or something people like it that's great but you know if they don't, if that part doesn't catch on that's okay it's, we'll chalk it up as a learning and we'll just keep moving on to me that is one part of it.


AM: I'm working towards taking my time, I am such a rush through things do things quickly do 10 things at a time that I know that sometimes it ends up being a hindrance and not a help. So that's something that like I've done all my life and it's. I'm really really working towards just like slowing down, and it's, it's so hard for me to slow down but just like taking things, you know, one day at a time and really focusing on what I'm what I'm doing


VM: Fun Fact at Alora’s old job they used to call her a laser because she did things like *fast lazer sound effect*


VL: Slowing down, it's going to be a good theme for me do all, ladies, thank you so much again for being on the show before I let you go, let us know where we can find you, where we can follow you. We feel like this question is a little bit obvious but how we can support your business. 


AM: We feel like this question is a little bit obvious but how we can support your business. Yeah, so our website is WWW.SAMANDLANCE.COM,  and then on all socials it's Sam and Lance, so you can find us on Instagram, Facebook, and yeah just follow us and sit down. We love just chatting with people we answer all our DMS because running in Singapore I'm in Toronto, we say that we're available 24 hours a day, because we are. 


VM: So, another thing too, one thing we like to talk about is supporting small businesses doesn't have to cost anything so making sure you're following people on social media sharing stuff commenting. It's all all greatly appreciated like even if you love something we're doing like send us a message makes you feel good. And, yeah, you can you don't always have to spend money to support women to which is something that we like to remind everyone.


VL: I think that's a really good point but not everyone kind of remembers because a lot of times you will get zero waste products and you will get will be sustainable and ethical these ethical products as well and then you think like, oh my god like that. That's so expensive for floss or but so expensive for shampoo. I'm not used to paying that but you also understand that like you're making it an investment for your health, because the products are better quality but also for the world as a whole, like, the URL. Right. And then it's a great point to say that even just sharing and liking and commenting and yeah just being engaged and involved, mother. Gonna were so good. So amazing so we're getting our relaxed box we're getting our Zero Waste starter kit. We are shopping for wearable aroma therapy, love it, and are also getting and getting subscription boxes. This is just gonna, like, quietly send this episode to everyone and be like that. This is a great episode you should check it out and also has a really great gift ideas for the people in your life, pointing at myself.


VM: And we'll send it direct to your friends and family as they live far away and we'll write a little note for you so there's extra love and alaura learned like we don't pack them with love if we don't pack them with love, they're worried that it won't get ready to go so there's that there's always love in the book, there's good intentions whenever we pack it, it's important.


VL: Yes, it is. And I feel like those little things make such a big difference overall and I know when I open a package. If I'm opening. One of my friends from the States she sent me a little care package and it was like such a beautiful surprise to get you just feel. You just feel more whole and more happy when you get these boxes of love, so I'm really excited to be able to share this gift giving guide with everyone today. Ladies again thank you so much for being part of the show this has been an absolute blast I can't wait I'm going to go shopping right now.



 
Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E105: Divine Connection with the Crown Chakra
 
 

E105: Divine Connection with the Crown Chakra

Today’s episode is about Chakra Seven: the crown chakra, located at the top of the head. This final crown area is different from the other areas in the body because it is actually above our physical body, just like a crown that sits on top of our heads…


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[00:27] Hi there welcome back to our final episode of the chakra series. Over the past year I have been sprinkling in chakra episodes into the show - in no particular order. However today is the last of the series, and it also happens to be the seventh, out of seven chakras, or main energy centres in the body. 


Today is all about our seventh chakra: The Crown. Before we go into more detail, let’s review the seven main energy centres in the body:


Chakra One: Is the root chakra located at the base of the spine/tailbone

Episode 64: Reclaim Your Roots with the First Chakra


Chakra Two: Is the sacral chakra, located at the reproductive organs, below the belly button

Episode 89: Sexuality & The Sacral Chakra


Chakra Three: Is the core or solar plexus chakra, located in the abdomen above the belly button 

Episode 79: Confidence & The Core Chakra


Chakra Four: is the heart chakra, at the centre of the chest


Chakra Five: is the throat chakra, located at the throat

Episode 58: Speak Your Truth with the Fifth Chakra


Chakra Six: Is called the third eye chakra located at the forehead, between the eyebrows

Episode 71: Intuition & The Third Eye Chakra


And lastly, Chakra Seven: the crown chakra, located at the top of the head. This final crown area is different from the other areas in the body because it is actually above our physical body, just like a crown that sits on top of our heads.


[2:24] Along with specific locations in our physical body, the chakras also coincide with emotional, mental, and spiritual themes. The seventh chakra is all about knowing and learning. The meaning or purpose of this chakra is understanding. In Sanskrit the name for the seventh chakra is Sahasrara [SAH-HA-SRA-AH] ]which translates to ”thousandfold”. This is because the symbol of this chakra is a lotus with 1000 petals. I told you this chakra was different from the others!


The chakras also have colours, issues, identity, demons, characteristics, and much more.


Themes around the seventh chakra have to do with consciousness, awareness, the witness, belief systems, universal identity, higher power, transcendence, divinity, information, meaning, and unity. This chakra is represented by the element Thought, and the colour violet, or sometimes white.


To be honest, I was really delaying the production and launch of this episode. I’ve always been very intimidated by the crown chakra. It’s so much less tangible than the other chakras and for me, I find it complicated to explain. 


[3:51] There is a chakra book that I always mention and refer to, it’s called Eastern Body, Western Mind by Anodea Judith. It’s an incredible resource for the Chakras and I refer to it each time I create these episodes. It’s like a textbook of sorts!

As I was rereading the chapter on the crown chakra I was reminded of something very important. The crown is not intangible, but rather it IS VERY tangible and connected to the physical world just like the other energy centres.


I sometimes get caught up in the limiting belief that to be spiritual you must give up all your physical possessions and devote your life to spirit. However this is a common misinterpretation entirely! 


Spiritually and the material world go hand in hand. Spirituality is not about connecting to something so beyond us; it’s about connecting to a divine part of us. A part of us that already exists. A part of us we’ve always been able to access, but choose not to, or are taught not to bother with. 


There is a really beautiful description of this chakra in the book I want to share with you:

“The crown chakra is the thousand-petaled lotus. Most people think of the petals as reaching up into the heavens; actually, the lotus petals turn downward like a sunflower, dripping nectar into the crown and down through the chakras. In this way, the two ends of the spectrum are profoundly connected. How can a lotus bloom without roots in the earth? How can it reach heaven if its roots are not deep and wide?”


Meaning this chakra, like the whole rainbow bridge of chakras, is about CONNECTION. And the purpose of this energy centre is to connect to the divine. To do this we must be able to ground, so the key to creating consciousness, and divine connection is BALANCE.


[6:05] Think of any time you’ve sat down to meditate. We meditate for a number of reasons. Sometimes it’s for relaxation, many times it’s for clarity, other times we wish to tap into creativity. Whatever our reason for meditation, we know that it is a spiritual practice. To start this practice we are typically seated. Rooted. Grounded down. We take stabilizing breaths. We become more present and balanced.


Are you picking up on all of this ROOT CHAKRA LANGUAGE? Once we are more grounded and relaxed, we are then able to TURN INWARD. INSIDE! Not outside, not up to heaven, not into a crystal ball. We are looking INSIDE OURSELVES; into a place we know, we just have to bring our awareness to this place.


As I’m preparing this episode it’s becoming more clear as to why I was avoiding it. I am someone, who from a very young age, has always been “different” from my family and friends. I used to see, hear, dream, know, and feel things that most people couldn’t explain. As a young girl this was quite troubling and I slowly quieted my voice to sharing what I was seeing, hearing, and feeling, because I was TOLD that these things weren’t real. 


The senses never really went away though. Instead they manifested into dreams. Very vivid, very real dreams. I still have wild dreams every-single-night. I’m not even exaggerating when I say I have the craziest dreams. Almost every day I wake up and say, “I had the craziest dream” and each night they seem to get more wild. I don’t even know if I have the time to talk about last night’s dream.


For a while I started to keep a dream journal and try to interpret my dreams. Then I started asking the Archangels to leave me alone because I would wake up feeling tired. I asked them to let me sleep and stop sending me messages in my dreams. It worked sometimes, but I usually forgot to do it before bed.


The point is, during these times I didn’t have the tools or the teachers to help me navigate things that were unfamiliar to my own community. Most people I told dismissed, disregarded, or thought I was weird for what I was telling them.


It made me feel very DISCONNECTED from others and it is the reason why I decided to DISCONNECT from those parts of myself; so that I could feel connected to the people around me. Over time I found my people. The ones I could share my crazy dreams with and they wouldn’t judge me for it.


I found them through my own personal and spiritual practice. The more I learned about myself, the more I realized yoga and mediation were very important parts of my journey. The more I meditated and practiced yoga, and the deeper my spiritual practice became, the clearer everything became for me. From relationships, to my life path, to what my gifts were, to what was holding me back.


Now I feel like I need to interrupt this for a moment and say: just because I became more clear, did not mean that things got easier… hell to the no! They almost get a little harder haha because you’re stepping into this consciousness that not everyone can relate to or understand. Not everyone is on the same journey as you and this is an important piece to remember.


Since we are all on our own journeys, we must be patient and loving with others who do not have the same awareness as we do. This can be a challenging part of the spiritual journey.


[10:52] Just like all the other energy centres in the body, there are signs of deficiency, and excess of this seventh chakra.


Signs of a deficient Crown Chakra include:

  • Spiritual cynicism

  • Learning difficulties

  • Rigid belief systems

  • Apathy

  • Excess in lower chakras: materialism, greed, domination of others


Sins of excess in the Crown Chakra include:

  • Over intellectual-ization

  • Spiritual addiction

  • Confusion

  • Dissociation from the body


The goal is to create balance in our chakras. A balanced Crown Chakra means:

  • Ability to perceive, analyze and assimilate information

  • Intelligent, thoughtful, aware

  • Open-minded, able to question 

  • Spiritually connected

  • Wisdom and mystery, broad understanding


When you’re considering your own journey and experience, think about how you can best support your crown chakra. At this point in the episode, if you’re still listening, the chances are you’re not entirely cynical about the chakras, however you might feel excess in your lower chakras in the sense that you feel heavy, and maybe tired. 


Perhaps you relate more to the excess of the crown. Maybe you obsess over your spiritual practice, and you’re always trying to find a deeper meaning, or you’re always looking beyond; so much so you’ve lost the connection with your own body. Feeling less grounded.


What is so wonderful about our spiritual and life journeys is that we all learn and grow and understand in different ways. The key is to stay open to possibilities and opportunities. 


[15:29] It is not only the crown chakra that helps us understand ourselves, it is all the chakras that are our teachers. The learning, growth, and transformation happens when we heal each of the lotus flowers, when we create balance.


Here’s what I recommend. Start with taking a moment to disconnect from the outside world. Get off your technology and find a comfortable spot to close your eyes and breathe. Start with your breath. Even our breath will teach us what is happening in our body. 


Notice the tightness, pain, pressure, space, lightness, in the body. Which body part is asking for more attention, more love? Now which of the chakras does that body part connect with? Start there.


If you’re experiencing head tension, maybe it’s the crown chakra. All of the previous chakra episodes are there, as well as a Crown Chakra Meditation you can download for free HERE!


I can’t even believe I’m saying this but next week is DECEMBER 2020! The year of all years is coming to an end, I have some great podcast episodes coming up, I know you’ll love them!


ALSO my new Healthy Habits Workshops start next week! You can sign up for the upcoming healthy habit workshop at www.valerielavignelife.com/workshop


See you there!



 

Download the FREE Crown Chakra Meditation

Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E104: Finding Balance and Feeling Good in Your Body
 
 

E104: Finding Balance and Feeling Good in Your Body with Samantha Kellgreen

Today I have a very special guest, Samantha Kellgreen. Samantha is a health, and mindset coach and helps women have an easier relationship with their bodies. She doesn't have a formula plan with her clients because that's not what they need. She goes deep and gets into the root cause of what's making it hard feeling aging in our bodies, every damn day...


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[00:47] VL: Samantha, welcome to the women's empowerment podcast. I'm so excited to have you here and to meet you today was thanks so much for having me I know I've been looking forward to this.

Samantha and I just met today because you may reach out to me as a listener of the show, which is very exciting I always like meeting the, the listeners of the podcast, and after getting to know her a little bit through her website and through her blog posts, I was really excited to to meet you. So again, thank you so much for being on the show. You have a pretty interesting story and a pretty interesting background so I was wondering if you could share just a little bit about how long we you came on to this journey of helping the women feel more comfortable with their bodies and feel amazing in their bodies.

SK: Yeah, so, you know, I started really more as a personal trainer and actually ended up being a running coach. I got very into endurance running really after college, I didn't run much before college, got into endurance running and started personal training I loved working with and I always pretty much worked with women. I loved working with them on, you know their health and fitness routines. However, I felt like it got way more into this is how I want you know women coming up to me this is how I want to look like literally given me a picture saying, I want to look like this. And I was like, This isn't right. Like this should not be your goal right it's so much bigger so I got my health coaching certification because it's like it's really more than just fitness, right. I feel like it's this bigger picture of who we are, how we want to live, um, but I experienced and I see how easy it is to fall into that trap of more is better. I mean with my running, running taught me a lot. I loved my, my running routine, sending up for races, but it got to the point where I was trying to hit a certain number of miles each week, and like that became the priority, not like do I feel amazing on this run it was, I have to get in this run, or I'm gonna feel guilty.

And it slowly happens until you realize, Oh, I feel extremely guilty if I if I miss a run, or like running is who I am, I am the fit personal trainer, this is part of my identity. And then end it's really hard to get out of when, when health and fitness is a, you know, generally, a healthy thing. It's hard to see that fine line of when it goes a little too far being too obsessive right being too Oh, I'm going to go to this cookout but I'm gonna bring my own food, stuff like that. I have to be healthy, all the time it's part of who I am. Um, it is kind of perfectionism.

And it really came to a head when we tried to get pregnant. And I realized I was I went off to Portland was I was missing my period. And it was because of, I was at an energy deficit, it's called hypothalamic amenorrhea, and from the endurance running and not eating enough to support that it takes a lot of calories to maintain, you know, just like the, you know, 30 miles a week, when I'm not training for anything. And I was too far under that I was not prioritizing rest and sleep, it was, I've got to get up and get this run in. So, too bad I can just push through it. I think that is very prevalent, especially for men right push through, you can do car Superwoman all of that and really wasn't focused on how my body really felt it was more on paper, what can I check off. So I had to really re evaluate things. And in doing that, that's when I brought in more of the mindset was like okay my mindset is in the wrong place I can be, you know, quote unquote healthy on paper, but is it healthy mindset do I wake up with feeling positive, or feeling like I've got to check all these things off. And so that was a really big disconnect that I kind of had to had to reconcile.

[5:00] VL: Wow, what a huge awakening, what a huge realization to come to because I can relate I'm, I'm in the fitness industry in the health and wellness industry and I think people do really find that there's this image of you that you need to uphold and I know for myself like I was working on every day and I kept telling people like I'm not doing it for the satisfaction of doing your for the type bomb or whatever, you know you're going to the gym for to look like a certain thing. I knew that I was going because it helped me prepare for my day, it was part of my, my morning routine, it was part of my, my mindset and my emotional well being and I kind of joked and I said you know like the gym was my therapy, because that's what it felt like.

And when we went into lockdown this year, I stopped going to the gym every day it was closed. And I made excuses for not working out at home and why I didn't want to train in the garage or at the park or in the house and I lost that part of my routine, and I started to feel different in my body and I would catch myself thinking that I had to look a certain way or fit to a certain size, and I was like whoa whoa whoa whoa

Well, this is not why I train this is not why I lift weights, this is not why I moved my body and I kind of had to catch myself in that that mindset trap and recognize you know that it's more than the physical activity it's more than the looking, a certain way it's how you're feeling, not based on what someone else does, but on the box that you create for yourself, not other people's boxes that were supposed to check off so very, very much relate to what you just said. It's a huge, it's a huge, kind of, it's a huge thing to admit, I think to ourselves a lot of people aren't really willing to admit that.

So let's talk a little bit more about that shift for you and maybe how we can create the shift in our own minds to how do we move them. Okay, I want to train, but I don't want to feel guilty for wanting to look a certain way, how do we get out of this kind of mindset.

[7:08] SK: Right. And I agree I think I've talked about this with a number of other women before that there's, you know there's diet culture which I definitely do not agree with that idea of, you know, thin is always better losing weight is up you know gaining weight is bad, you should always be striving to lose weight diet foods all of this.

But then there's anti diet culture, which can make you feel guilty for having a physical goal. And I think that there's this big in between that we can live in and it's, you know, it's called balance which is like, oh haha. Good luck finding balance. But I think it's when you're setting the either setting physical goals, or just looking at what you want your workout routine to be like, and thinking for one setting benchmarks of what is, what are my bigger values, right, is like my body, my looks, my biggest value. No, that's not my biggest value but how can I still have that part of my life, and looking at when I set these goals, making sure you don't override those values

Okay, my, my family, my friends, you know, spending time with them is my biggest value. So, if I am routinely turning down, invites, and stuff like that, in favor of getting to the gym, and I don't mean just once or twice once or twice is fine, I mean every single time that you're placing the gym or sticking to a certain way of eating over friends and family. That's when there's a disconnect so that's that red flag, and that it's not every single time you know it's okay to turn down a happy hour, nothing. COVID is weird. It's okay to turn down that invite in favor of a boot camp class that you really love, but when you feel like I'd really love to go see my friends but oh my i will feel so guilty if I miss this class that that is the red flag. You know what I mean. So it's really finger on how can I, how can I make sure that I feel, placing how you feel, over, checking it off, if that makes sense. So, how can I kind of make these parameters of I'd like to do yoga this mini tends to be, I'd like to run this many times a week, but if these bigger values take precedence.

If it's a conflicting thing. What am I going to choose every time. It can't be the running every single time. It's got to be a given take and paying attention to if it's guilt and control driving it. Or, I love this class and I really want to take it and I feel amazing because of it. So it's real I mean that you can't, it's hard to put them on paper but you can't deny that. Is it coming from a controlling guilty vibe. It's just a vibe, or is it coming from a, I love this this lights me up five. And that's like hard to define, but I think you know what when you feel it.

[9:57] VL: Absolutely. So, we talk a lot about our core values on the show, and what that means to us and how to honor those values and that's by getting clear about what they are. And then, you know, making the choices based on those values so like you said if you're putting friends and family first, then you're not going to, kind of, I guess, step over those relationships or put those relationships to the side, because of what you think you should be doing or how you think you should be looking so again like that's that can be really tough for us to to transition to, and I know for myself like when I miss a workout, I sometimes kind of beat myself up over it, and I feel bad because now I feel bad about not going to my workout I feel bad because my body didn't get the movement that it needs and I'm just like, achy and grumpy and all of these things.

So how do we stop believing, negative thoughts about our body, how do we get over that piece?

SK: Oh god, it's so hard right, for one, I think the biggest misconception is that we are going to reach this like euphoric epiphany of I will never have a negative thought about my body and that's where I need to be, I will never think anything bad. I will love everything about my body 100% of the time and that is pretty much impossible, so accepting that that isn't possible makes it a much easier, because then you don't beat yourself up for thinking, oh I don't love how I look in the shirt, you can have that thought. I feel like saying it out loud. Because it feels so silly to be like, oh my arms look fat, when you say that out loud and hear how ridiculous that sounds if that is your biggest concern.

It really does help. There are much bigger things going on in the world right. It was the one friend I was talking to and she had kind of the same background I had had to put on a couple pounds to get a healthy menstrual cycle back. And she was like, I'm going to meet up with my friends. I feel like I need to warn them, that she had kind of weighed I was like whoa listen to that language warn them for what they why, you know, this is you, they are happy to see you. You know, look at those the bigger thing do you, and it always helps to look in the reverse of, if my friend is my mom if my daughter would ever send my arms look fat. Would I be like yeah, they kind of do. No, you're not seeing them for their body they're not seeing you for your money when you meet someone, this is always a good example when you, you know, you're out for a walk, strike up a conversation with a woman, when you go back home if you really enjoyed that conversation, are you keeping in mind what size, she is and how she looked in her clothes. No, it's the essence of who she is, of how she spoke to you of how she carried herself regardless of weight or size. Those are the things the impressions that we leave on people. It's reminding yourself that's all in your head, we are our harshest critics. And we are only seeing the physical things reflected back in the mirror we're not getting the full essence of who we are, which is what every single other person in our life gets.

[13:18] VL: Mmm hmm.

Like nodding along like, yes, yes, yes 100%. It's so drone I think when we, when we do meet people, whether they're new people, or friends when we listen to their languaging when we listen to how they're communicating with us or what they're saying about themselves, the things that we're recognizing the things that stand out to us. Those are our mirrors and those are what we see it in ourselves. So, whether they say it, or we see it in them.

It's a mirror for us, and I think it's a really, really important piece of information. I'm a really big observer because for my work and as you probably know this too. When you're training people, you need to be watching every little part of their body. When you say, bend your knees, you need to make sure that the knees are in alignment, you should make sure their hips are in alignment you should make sure their spine is in alignment, not only in this physical way, we need to be observing ourselves and the people around us, but in a bigger way in the way that we carry ourselves and the way that we speak in the way that we think, even when we pay attention to these things, we're gaining this information about us. And like you said, it's, it's not what we think that person weighs, or how we think that person looks is what we carry with us.

It's the personality, it's how we felt around that person. Yeah. And that to me is huge. As a huge reminder. When you said because I think, Oh my gosh, You're right. I want people to leave my classes or to leave a conversation with me and think about how I impacted their life in a positive way, not how I made them feel smaller because you know, we don't look the same or we don't dress the same or whatever it is like why would anyone think that. The other thing I always tell myself is when I catch myself in those negative mindset thoughts like, oh my gosh my pants don't me anymore like I just feel gross or whatever. Again, if your friend said that to you. What would you say back you wouldn't be like yo Yeah, totally. You're right. I would never say that to your friend.

So I like to remind people that you know the most important relationship you have in this world is the one you have with yourself, and you really need to speak, kindly to yourself.

[15:56] SK: Yeah, it was. And, and going back to like you know how do we set these goals and keep fitness you know how health is such a loaded word I feel like it's something healthy, you know, but how do we kind of keep it in perspective and not obsessive and thinking of okay are you trying to fix, featuring a fix. Are you trying to uplift, you know, I feel a connection with honestly with my higher self when I'm running, especially I'm trail running, I love that and it's not about a calorie burn, I do not get the same thing, although they're both cardio, I do not get the same thing in the spin class, so I don't really go to spin class but I prefer running, and yes they're both cardio, you can look at it from that perspective but the feeling I get when I'm doing it is a different purpose for heading out for a run, and a different feeling I get on the run and when I come back, I feel it's not like oh I burned a lot of calories on that run, it's like, oh my i felt like myself and I felt connected and I feel energized and excited for my day. So that's a feeling, to go for not like, what did I burn right i think that there's this. And it's done for us. This calorie map of eat this much burn this much, you know, weigh this much these are calculations but it, it's bullshit. It doesn't work like bodies don't work like that. That feeling of like, Oh, I'm on vacation so calories don't count it's like your body.

That's all in your head. Your body is responding to so much more than just the calories you're putting into it, it's how did they feel the reasons behind choosing a salad, is it I'm going to feel guilty if I don't choose a salad I should, anytime you think I should that's a red flag shooting is a red flag, because this Where is that coming from. Is it because I feel like I should order the salad. That's what I should be doing to be good or oh my god I haven't had a salad I haven't like made myself a big salad in a week. It takes a lot of different ingredients, I haven't had the like wherewithal to do that. That sounds amazing that's when I'm gonna order.

Again, same with like the running, it's the same salad, but the motivations are different. And if you're ordering things we all know that you feel like you quote unquote should, you're going to get what you want later. You're going to search for that because something has not been not been fulfilled, you know, it's really, it's really that feeling of having to to deserve something of I need to be this way so I deserve something else, and it doesn't work like that. It doesn't work like that, you know, we can have. You and I could eat the same exact thing do the exact same workout and it's gonna affect our bodies in different ways, because we're different people.

[18:37] VL: Absolutely. It's so annoying I get this question all the time. What do you eat, and I'm like, I'm not a nutritionist, I get older, I hope I like food and I eat food all the time and I love like I love food and try new recipes. If one more person asks me what do I, I just I don't understand the question, why does that matter, it's not interesting either not.

It's boring. Like, I have all I've got today is coffee so far, I mean it's still early in the morning but it's an it doesn't matter because what week is going to be different and affecting our body and, like, I really love broccoli, and I really love brussel sprouts, but I also really love chocolate and I love donuts and I love cookies. And I always tell people I hate kale, oh my goodness I despise kale. Kale is supposed to be the decoration and the deli counter is not for eating.

And I tell people I'm like, I don't really eat kale because it doesn't make me feel good, and he loves kale so healthy, like, it doesn't make me feel good so I'm not gonna eat it. Right. It doesn't matter if it's if it's healthy if I don't want if I'm like, oh killer so gross. as I'm eating it I'm just thinking about how disgusting This is and how hard it is to chew and how bloated I feel after I eat it. It's not going to digest well in my body.

SK: No, it's not. It's true. And so I think going back to that idea of like anti diet culture of, it's okay to have the doughnut for breakfast yes it's okay that doesn't mean force yourself to eat a doughnut to prove that you're anti diet culture, like, I don't love sweets in the morning I go for a savory. I am more of like a eggs toast avocado like, that's my jam. I will have a bite of a doughnut. But I would rather have a doughnut for dessert. Like, that's when I'm going to have my sweets because that's when I like them. And it's more of the freedom to choose what you want in the moment.

And I think that we have this fear I just actually did a live in my facebook group about this we have this fear of doing what makes you happy doing what you want to do, whether it's eating food anything that we're going to turn into this lazy person who doesn't have any ambitions or goals or eat anything healthy or move their body in any way. And it's no like that's a total opposite. It just means not forcing yourself to do something just because you think you shouldn't do it, listening, a little more intuitively, because we all have drive I mean, your listeners. We have drive, we're not going to sit and watch Netflix all day. But it's the fear that if we allow ourselves to sit and watch one show after an exhausting day that we're not pushing ourselves hard enough and we're not going to get to where you want to be. And that's just not the case i mean you think about going on vacation. And I think this every single time that after a week vacation, no matter how amazing and fun it was, it's kind of nice to be back in your routine.

Right, it's you kind of missed that routine because we crave for too we like it we just want to be able to break for you and we can and not have those restrictions that honestly we're just placing on ourselves every day.

[21:44] VL: I 100% agree I used to be so against routine and discipline because I thought I was conforming to being boring and like, I'm not even kidding you, I was like, No, I'm the rebel, I identify as a rebel, I'm never gonna routine I live by the seat of my pants like this is just how life is. And then I heard this quote that discipline equals freedom. And I'm not going to go into it. I know it's about.

I'm not gonna go into a team just like three words it's crazy right but like it's so true. And the more I became clear about my routines and my daily habits, the more I stuck to them and built them they started to compound over time, and it didn't matter if I miss a workout it didn't matter if I had one donut or two or three donuts, it didn't matter, because I felt so good in my body from putting in these daily routines also did an episode recently talking about how to increase your vitality. I've been feeling good the last little while.

And I went to see a nutritionist and she said well there's actually a few pretty major parts of your body that aren't really doing so well. However, the reason why you're not like in your bed, crying and pain and all these things is because you have a really high vitality, because you have these healthy habits in place, and even though your body is kind of going towards burnout feeling a little different down. It's not affecting you as it weren't to someone who doesn't have these healthy habits in place. And I thought, Whoa, that was huge for me to, to hear someone else say hey listen, I scan your body and we figured things out. And, you know, you're not like dying or and I'm not okay it was fine. Just intuitively I was like, I really feel good something's wrong. Yeah, something's off and I, and I want to address it before it becomes a little bit more out of control. So that was a really kind of interesting piece to come to but it was all about healthy habits.

So tell us. I don't know if you want to share your healthy habits or just some tips for helping us build daily routines that feel good for us, where can we start.

[23:46] SK: Yeah, so that's the key is that feels good for you. So I'll give the example of meditation. And before you roll your eyes, people listening. Um, I tried meditation two different times and it didn't stick. I mean like for Lent I did it every day for six weeks, and it did not stick.

I wasn't ready for it. Now, I have think I'm on day like 70 or so with insight timer doing it every day, and I look forward to it and I love it. So it's trying different things, I can tell you what I do, I will tell you what I do, but this has been letting it kind of come to me trying out different things and then realizing hey this feels good. I'm going to add this to my routine. So like I've got this morning routine that I never had before, because I was under the impression Hey every morning is different. You know, I've had a different time that I get up, although now I've got a toddler so that's not so much anymore, but you know I can't have a morning routine because every day is different.

INSIGHT TIMER

And that's okay that was okay at the time, my morning routine at the time was at whatever time I get up these kinds of things I do it might be in a different order right now though my morning routine is I get up at a specific time I get up at 515. Um, so I can get about 15 minutes of yoga or some morning movement I'll either do my own or follow a video. I meditate for five to 10 minutes doing, and I've been doing insight timer for a while now it's guided meditation. I got a journal, and it's got some just questions same questions every day, which is really nice because then I look back through my answers are totally different every day. And then I work for about an hour before I get my son up. And before I wasn't doing yoga in the mornings, but I joined this yoga challenge.

And it was every day for 30 days, and I was doing it sporadically throughout like different times throughout the day I was like I really like this I'm going to try to make sure I do it I'm going to do in the morning, and it felt really good to move in the morning, I felt much more. I guess flexible and open. I felt much more relaxed and said I used to get up and go for a run like immediately like within 15 minutes of my alarm going off I was running, which is very stiff and very tight. I noticed how good it felt to do those stretches that was a year ago. And I've been doing it every morning because it feels good, not because someone said, you should move for 15 minutes in the morning and this way.

I let it come to me. So these are things to try but the biggest thing is what makes you feel good you get up and you really look forward to a cup of coffee. Great. Get up and your first thing you do is coffee yeah you're nodding. My thing is coffee too but I get up and I do, you know, a little yoga or meditation and then I get my coffee. And I look forward to it you want that when your alarm goes off, you know, talking about morning routines. When your alarm goes off, you want to at least be somewhat excited about what the next hour or so, holds. And so getting up and thinking, Okay, I got to get through this checklist.

It should be okay I'm going to get up and do these things that I enjoy and try different things. So there's a zillion morning or teams out there, right, the elements that I like are the movement that can be in any way, like I say I do yoga, it can be just stretching it can be. I mean, maybe you do like to get up and go for a quick run if that feels really good and you wake up and you're looking forward to it and do it, some form of movement, some sort of stillness, so it could be laying in savasana, it could be a guided meditation journaling, or writing.

That is really helped me. But this isn't for everyone doing affirmations, I think try those elements and try them for like a week or two, right, because maybe the first days like this feels weird. This isn't me, but by day four you're like, I wouldn't like really looking for it I'm getting something out of this. And sometimes we don't notice until it's gone. I had been doing that routine of the yoga and the meditation. And I went to visit my parents were gone for almost like 10 days, my parents in my in laws.

And towards the end, I was like, I just feel like often blood is like, I have not been doing my routine like my parents would get my son in the morning so asleep and a little bit which was great, but then after over a week of not doing these things I felt out of alignment, it's like, oh, I'm gonna go do like 10 minutes of yoga. I'm gonna go sit for five minutes and meditate and I felt much better. So sometimes you don't notice that you're gone I'm like, oh that was like really working. So knowing that it doesn't have to be a set structure. Some people love structure, some people don't. Some people are going to be feel confined by it, and some people are going to like set foot kind of almost liberated by like these are the steps that I do. But trying these things and different orders, seeing what really sticks seeing what you look forward to asking yourself what you look forward to what do you feel better after you do it, you know, maybe you wake up, you're like I don't really feel like doing yoga. But you notice Hey after I do those 10 minutes. I feel lighter. I feel more calm, more centered, those are the feelings you want to kind of cultivate.

[29:13] VL: Yes, 100%. I like what you said about when you wake up, you want to feel excited for the next hour of your day. And a lot of people don't they had silos. Oh my gosh, like so many people I know they're like oh I had to get up today oh it's Monday. It's Tuesday like. Who wants to feel like that every day. Exactly. And I like when I do stick to my morning routine when I do the things that make me feel good. I have so much more energy to take on the rest of the day so it's huge. It's a huge kind of routine to to get started with in your healthy habit journey, so I i mean i i talk about these topics all the time and I've learned so much, and I love what you have had to share with us today. So where can we find you Where can we follow you and how can we support your business.

SK: Oh yes, awesome. I'm on Instagram it's at simply while coaching. My website is simply while coaching calm and I talk about I mean all the things you talked about today, and I feel like my biggest driver is how can we be less rigid and less doing the things we quote unquote shouldn't do, and doing things that bind us up, bring joy, make us happy and feel good, and how do you and those are different for everyone, but this is what I talk about I also offer a free 30 minute call and mindset shift. So 30 minute coaching call to wherever you're kind of feeling stuck, and maybe you've tried some things and they're just not sticking you can't really figure out okay how do I get into my groove, what is healthy. What does healthy mean for me, I'm happy to jump on a call if you go to my website you can look it there if you go to my Instagram you can look it there too. And happy to happy to help.

INSTAGRAM | @simplywellcoaching

WEBSITE | www.simplywellcoaching.com

[31:08] RAPID FIRE ROUND: Now, are you ready for a rapid fire round?

Question number one: What are you currently reading or what's your favourite book?

SK: Oh, I'm currently reading Gabby Bernstein, the Universe Has Your Back, and loving it. It is so oh it's so inspiring and God I just like, eat up all of her stuff, it's amazing.

Question number two: What do you love most about being a woman?

SK: Oh. What do I love most. I feel like that we are so multifaceted that we are allowed to be confusing. Confused ourselves full of emotions and unpredictable and just powerful amazing answer question number three.

Question number three, What does empowerment mean to you?

SK: Oh. What do I love most. I feel like that we are so multifaceted that we are allowed to be confusing. Confused ourselves full of emotions and unpredictable and just powerful.

Question number four: What are you currently working toward?

SK: Physically trying to get my handstand. Physically trying to get it, get a hold of my handstand it is all over the place I have no control over it, but it's been fun to learn. I'm really in my business. Just working with women that I get on these calls and we liked each other up that we have conversations, just like we had today and getting more of that into my life and into their lives.

 
Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E103: Overcoming Your Healthy Habit Struggles
 
 

E103: Overcoming Your Healthy Habit Struggles

Today I’m coming in hot with a NO EXCUSES - LET’S DO THIS APPROACH! Healthy CAN be and IS SIMPLE...


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[00:52]  It’s us crazy humans who like to complicate things. I am totally guilty of it, don’t you worry. The good news is, in today’s episode I am going through each of your biggest struggles when it comes to healthy habits so that you can finally overcome them!

Before we dive in, take a moment to think about some of your struggles when it comes to healthy habits. Where do you get stuck? What excuses do you make? What’s holding you back?

Got them? Okay. If I don’t talk about your biggest struggle, please send me a dm on instagram @vallavignelife and/or let me know in the comments section below so that I can better support you in overcoming this struggle!

Struggle No.1: Consistency

[1:52] The first one we’re going to talk about today, is the one I hear about the most: CONSISTENCY. eDo you have a hard time keeping up with your fitness plan? Or healthy eating? Maybe you want to meditate each day but you hit snooze in the mornings instead?

This is actually such a popular question/topic that I have an entire episode dedicated to it:

E78: How to Stay Consistent with Your Wellness

Here’s where to start and be more consistent with your healthy habits: start with ONE habit. Just one. When you’ve decided what that habit should be, ask yourself: “What do I have to do before this can be done?”

For example, let’s say you decide homemade lunches during the week is your one goal. You’re tired of spending money every day on lunches that aren’t very satisfying.

Before you can make lunches for the week, you have to go grocery shopping for food. You also have to figure out what you’re going to eat for lunch. Therefore, before we can start our habit of homemade lunch we have two things we must do first.

Now that you know the answer to this question, you can begin to prepare for your success! Take a look at your calendar or planner and schedule in your grocery shopping AND meal prepping. Then, right here and now I want o to plan out your meals for the week. Don’t panic, it doesn’t have to be scary… in fact, let your homemade lunches be EASY!

My boyfriend and I make our lunch for the next day every evening before, while we’re making dinner. Most of the time we make extra dinner and eat the extra for lunch the next day. We keep things SUPER SIMPLE: One vegetable or our usually salad mixture + a serving of meat. We each like different snacks, so we will pack those also.

TAKEAWAY: Knowing your goal/habit is great, now get even more clear and figure out what you need to do BEFORE you can do your habit. There is usually one or two things you need to do before to set yourself up for success.

 

Struggle No.2: Complicated

[4:36] I hinted to this second struggle a little bit, which is that we make it TOO COMPLICATED, or we OVER COMPLICATE our healthy habit/goal.

Again, I’m guilty of this! Sometimes I hear about other people’s amazing daily meditation practices, or their incredibly tranquil and relaxing evening routines. I think of all the wonderful things I’d like to do before bed, like have an epsom salt bath surrounded by all the candles in the house, or meditate with my essential oils, or perhaps a 30 minute journaling and oracle card pulling.

And guess what, I’ve never-ever had an evening routine exactly like that because it’s WAY TOO different and complicated from what I’m doing now.

I’m not saying it isn’t possible, because it absolutely is. I’m saying that if you’re not already doing 4/5 of those things, don’t try to recreate your evening routine in this complicated way, because when we can’t even do our goal or habit for a few days in a row, we become very discouraged and unmotivated to continue or to try something different.

Okay so, how do we simplify?

We choose ONE habit, and then we ask, how can we break this down more?

Let’s say you want to start working out again. You used to workout 5 days a week… but lately you’ve been spending more time on the couch than at the gym.

Instead of saying, I’m going to workout 4-5 times a day, let’s simply. Look at your calendar and see where you can realistically schedule in A SINGLE WORKOUT FOR THE WEEK?

You see that Monday late more there is an opportunity for you to workout. Schedule your workout into your calendar/planner.

Do ONE workout this week. Yes ONE. ANYONE can do one workout, right? And so can you!

And get this… if you can’t do your workout on the Monday, look where else you can fit your ONE workout in. It’s a lot harder to make excuses for one workout a week than it is for five. ALSO, if you do a workout on Monday, and then also get another workout in on Wednesday, you’ve just exceeded your weekly goal.

The following week I encourage you to work your way up to twice a week. And so on and so forth. Build on this one habit. As you build the habit, you are also starting to build your self-trust and your self-confidence. Which will support your consistency.

 

Struggle No.3: Negative Self-Talk

[7:36] The third struggle when it comes to healthy habits is negative self-talk and limiting beliefs. Let me tell you right now, this is one of the most painful and limiting blocks of all, and sometimes we aren’t even aware of it.

Believing you are WORTHY, knowing in your heart that you are ENOUGH, that you are DESERVING of self-love, self-care, a healthy and happy life is one of the greatest gifts we can give to ourselves. 

Here’s where to start: Think of how you want to feel. What is the word that describes how you want to feel? Now think about a time when you’ve felt that way in the past. Where were you? Who were you with? What were you doing? Seeing? Smelling? Tasting?

You can really get a lot out of this exercise when you take some time to do it. I always enjoy journaling through this. When you’ve found the answers to these questions, you’ll have more information about what lights you up and brings you into alignment with how you want to feel. Even though you might not be able to recreate the exact memory or moment, you can brainstorm ways to bring that feeling into your every-day life.

Maybe your goal is to feel calm, because during your remembering you were brought back to a lovely yoga retreat you were on. You loved the morning yoga practice, the delicious food that was made for you, the calming music, the no screen time, and the lavender essential oil you could smell. You were surrounded by like-minded people and the sun was always shining. 

Realistically we don’t live at that yoga retreat every day, but we can pull parts of the retreat into our daily healthy habits to help us connect to the feeling we want. Here are some simple habits based off this example:

  • Morning yoga practice (can be anywhere from 5 to 30 minutes)

  • Scheduling a date night with your partner or a friend each week where you can enjoy the food and each others company

  • Setting aside time every day to turn off your screens and be more present, or use that time to go for a walk around the block

  • Take a few deep breaths of lavender essential oil, or diffusing lavender as you work or before bed each night.

Healthy can be simple, and you my darling are WORTHY of feeling good.

 

Struggle No.4: It’s too expensive to be healthy

[12:22] As a wellness educator I often hear this excuse or struggle when it comes to healthy habits: “it’s too expensive to be healthy” 

WRONG. For a few reasons, the first is that there are so many free resources you can use and take advantage of to incorporate into your daily lifestyle and routine. From online workout videos, to free meal plan downloads, to free coaching calls, to mediation apps, and so much more. 

Another reason why this is false is because you will end up paying for your health one way or another. Therefore, you can either choose to invest in preventative health so that you live a high quality life of feeling good, and striving for balance. OR you can pay for the prescriptions, appointments, and hospitality for when your body can’t take care of itself anymore. If hearing that is a bit of a wake up call for you, I think you know your next move. Invest in ONE area of your health today.

Remember that we’re not trying to change our entire lifestyle overnight and the goal isn’t to become a super healthy person who no longer eats a, b, c, or x, y, and z. And never goes on social media and only eats out once a week, etc. etc. 

Being a healthy human is about feeling good and loving our bodies. 

Struggle No.5: Don’t have time

[14:39] Now let’s wrap this no excuses episode up with our final struggle when it comes to healthy habits, there is no time. Heck there’s never any time. Between the job, and the kids, and the content creation, and the commuting, and the living out the lives we already have – how on earth are we supposed to get anything done let alone add in a new habit!?

We make time for what is important to us. We can ALWAYS make time. We prioritize our time and if your healthy habit isn’t a priority, it isn’t going to get done.

I’ll never forget an example I heard, and I think it was on a podcast but I can’t remember which one. They were talking about how we always say we’re busy or we can’t do something because we don’t have time. The example was when we’re working at our computer from home and our kid comes in and says “mom can you play with me?” and we say, “not now hunny I’m busy”

But if our kid came in with a pair of scissors stuck in their bleeding arm and said “mom can you help me?” you better forking help that child right away and I know you will not be brushing them in that moment.

What changed? The priority changed. Playing with your kid wasn’t a priority, your kid’s health was. 

It’s a bit of a graphic example but I will never forget it and it really made me think about what was important to me, what I was making time for.

If you aren’t really sure where your priorities are, I would highly recommend tracking how you spend your day. It’s as simple as grabbing a pen and a notebook and writing down the time, what you did during that time and how long it took you. 

As an example:

7:00 am woke up, checked emails and instagram, 30 minutes
7:30 am showered, brushed teeth, 15 minutes
7:45 am made coffee, caught up on the news, 20 minutes

Right away you can see that you’ve been on your phone for almost an hour that morning. Do you need to be on emails, instagram, and the news right away? Definitely not. Cut it down, cut it out, or reschedule it to make a more “health” or “heart-centred” morning routine.

Alright my dear. I know some of what I said today might have felt a bit tough to digest. Maybe it felt a little too close to home. And maybe there are other things going on in your life that I don’t know about that are the reason why you aren’t making moves forward for your healthy habit.

Here’s what I do know. I know that you are enough, and that incorporating a healthy habit into your life will help you be the better, daughter, mother, teacher, sister, partner, and human. I know that getting out of your own way can be really hard to do. I also know that when we get out of our own way, when we go for our goals and dreams, we can move mountains. 

No more excuses, and no time like the present!

Let me support you and hold you accountable! Reach out on instagram @vallavignelife or in the comments section below tell me your habit, tell me your struggle, let’s do this together.

 
Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E102: Choosing Courage Over Fear with Tasha Romanelli
 
 

E102: Choosing Courage Over Fear with Tasha Romanelli

Today I am very excited to introduce you to a very special guest, and a great friend of mine, Tasha Tasha is an intuitive healer, with the gift to see and feel energy. To put it plainly, she is a clairvoyant...


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[00:19] VL: With one's permission she lifts the physical veil and sees and feels your energy pinpointing areas within your body, mind, that have energetic blockages likely due to emotional trauma and reprogramming. It is through her practical training as a Reiki Master, and certified meditation teacher that she can help you remove those energetic blocks, doing so in a way that you can relate to connect with and embody so that you can fully step into your higher self raising your vibration to a whole new level, Tasha this path wasn't always clear for her. Since childhood she very her gifts and talents for the fear of being judged and notice, no stranger to being called a weirdo crazy and a freak. She hid behind her in the gifts. It wasn't until she became a mother that she had to live out her truth and quit her six figure career as an award winning art director, to set out on her own spiritual journey. Choosing the path of courage, or fear, she is now letting the world know who she is, unapologetically embracing her frake and redefining the word, as we know it. In hopes to inspire her own children, and others along the way.

Welcome Tasha.

[2:09] TR: Thank you, My God, give me goosebumps. I'm like is that me. Yes, it's me.

VL:It's so powerful like again reading it gave me goosebumps too and being around you is just like. It's such an incredible gift so we've known each other for, I don't know, a few months now, like a super long time but we've been connected over the last little while and we met in person, after we met up originally online. And I know that being around your presence, virtually is obviously very different, like most people's experiences, however being with you in a physical one on one sense, it's just, It's so incredible because you have such a presence and you're really great at holding space for people so I'm really excited to be hosting you on today's show, and I know that we're going to have an incredible episode. But I also want to thank you for your gifts and the time that we share together so far.

TR: Thank you. Yeah, I mean, even though it hasn't been that long. Our souls. We know each other for a long time there is no doubt about that. The minute I knew or, I saw you. And we connected. I was like, my heart needs to be yours. Right. It was just like this cosmic connection and, and I'm grateful for the relationship that we have and that we're building, so thank you and thank you for having me on your show.

[3:49]  VL: Of course I'm really excited. So let's jump right into you. let's learn more about you and your journey to finding your courage and really stepping into that spiritual power, take us from the beginning.

TR: Oh my gosh, where do I begin. There are so many different points in my life where I had to choose courage over fear. Starting at the beginning, how about we go there because I think it's a very important part of my journey, one that I recognize this and acknowledge that has truly helped me become who I am today. Being a young child living in a world of, let's say, rainbows and unicorns and fairies. That is where I lived and existed when I was a little girl. I had an imaginary friend Her name is Brianna and she was this beautiful fairy she had this like flaming red orange hair, and she wore in a braid along like down her side here like over her shoulder. She weren't clean and she was just so flawless like just beautiful. And we're best friends, and we played beautifully together, and she's probably, this was like rainbow bright days like glow worm. This is this is the 80s right is is all of these really fun cool toys that existed back then. And I just love playing with cars. And it wasn't until that my father actually he recognized that I was playing with someone, and question that. And he said, Who are you playing with. And then I looked at him and then I looked at Breanna. And I looked at my dad again, and then I looked at her like in confusion like how do you not see who I am playing with. And before you know it, she was gone. She disappeared, and I was devastated, and that was sort of like my first. I guess realization of connecting with another world that just doesn't exist in our reality in our, you know 4d world. And I was devastated.

From there we didn't move. So I lived in Bolton, Ontario. And then from there we moved into my family's country home and Hillsburg on property, beyond our visit. And, and then from there we moved into my family's country home and I would help her. On Property now having this gift to see beyond our physical. I wouldn't call it that as a child because I had no idea what to see. I transitioned into a place of from rainbows and unicorns to a place of fear, and disarray. The gift that I had really manifested itself into seeing things that I can't even begin to describe. It was horrible. and it was horrifying and it was fearful and.

Well, it made me really question What the heck I'm seeing. And the interesting fact was it wasn't just me. It was my brother, and that sort of validated that what I saw was just a figment of my imagination. What we saw and what we felt was very very real, the land that we lived on from my understanding was an old native burial.

My brother and I, the property that we lived on when we would go out and play we would find arrowheads, and we would bring them home and we would show my mom and my dad and luckily found look at this right. And every time that there would be like a thunderstorm or just really dark because it was always dark we lived out in the woods, basically, and on the property and he would just see things and my brother and I, we would get so freaked out I would hop in the bed with him and I would sleep with him on probably about five years old at this point. And, and we would be so paranoid we would be frozen paralyzed with fear and still to this day I remember saying to him I'm like, did you see that you like. Did you see that. And like yeah I saw that, like was that you, and he's like no it wasn't me, it was you, like no it wasn't me, it was you know like we would trip, each other out because we weren't sure of like what we would, but we just didn't know what we received, and we couldn't believe it. You just couldn't believe it. And I said to him, and I say to him every so often, I say, “Paul” his hame is Paul, “if by any chance I'm on my death bed and it's my time to go, let me tell you, I will be asking you this question, because it has set the path to my journey in this world an dI need to know if I'm not crazy, was it you?” and so every time he says, “no.”

and so it just solidifies exactly what we saw, but that's really the beginning and I was so afraid, and my brother was definitely someone that I can feel safe with and connect with. I made my dad Pedro rainbow in my bedroom, just so like on the wall, so that this way I could feel safe, knowing that, you know, I guess from where I was with rainbows and unicorns with Perry, prior to living there I always felt happy and safe and myself. So I tried to recreate that but it just did not work the land space the energy around the whole place. It was pretty, pretty horrifying. So that was kind of like the, you know, the beginning of things for me and understanding. Oh, well, she was encouraged over fear I guess right but. But that's one big part of it. And then there are other areas of my life where I've had to step into that as well.

I was in my early teenage years, I found myself in a very domestic abusive relationship. Ever since I was a little girl I always had this innate feeling that I have to help heal people. And I would call myself nurse Tasha. So I wanted to actually be a nurse as a little girl. And that could stem from many different reasons that I won't dive into right now, but I always had this feeling of I it's my gift to help heal people and make people happy. make me feel better, making them feel welcome. You know that they're not alone. I guess because I just felt always so scared and alone in my own head. And I wanted others to people. I want other people to feel safe and happy. And so I found this most relationship I got into this relationship actually that became very abusive to me. And when you're in domestic relationship, no one should ever be in domestic abusive relationship. But when you are over a long period of time, you begin to lose yourself. And when you lose yourself, you. You are literally living in fear and you're scared shitless, especially when the other person is very possessive over you, you lose your friends, you become isolated. You, you become fearful because the one that's abusing you is threatening that they will kill themselves if they if you leave them. And so like there was a lot of crap that went down and having you know my life taken from me almost twice, from this person. I don't even know who I was, for those period of times, other than being a scared, scared little girl, and being extremely ashamed for putting myself in the position that I was in. And, and then it was one day that I actually ran for my life, I actually ran for my life. We were sitting in a park, and, and I never told this relate to anyone really. So this is a big thing for me. We were sitting in a park and my partner was playing or playing sports. And I was told to sit on this bench and not move. Well, I did not like being told what to do. And I knew I needed to leave, and being scared. I had to come up with a plan but he couldn't see me. Or find me. And in this park that we were at. I looked at the trees that were in the park. And I kind of counted that I'm like okay there's one tree bear one tree there one tree that maybe if I tree hop and hide behind a tree and kind of take a look to make sure he doesn't see me, maybe I can tree hop my way out of here. And I did that as soon as his back was to me. I got up off the bench, and I ran to one tree kicked over. Okay. The other way so we're good ran to the next tree. Same thing, ran to the next tree, same thing. And then as soon as I kind of got out of the park from tree hop Bay. I ran so fast, like the fastest way that I could ever run. And I did not look back. But of course, as soon as I was running, lo and behold, there was a mutual friend. That was walking their dog, someone that knew him and someone that knew me that we went to school with. And I remember to this day I just looked at him, as I was running. And I said to him, you did not see. And I just kept on going. And I often think like I wonder what the heck he was thinking like, Why is she saying this why it's such a thing you did not see me what the hell does she mean by this. I'm sure I'm not totally confused. But those were my orders, you did not see me. And I remember running and running and running and I'm like, okay, where can we go that people find me. Because I have ran before. And every time, because every time it was. It was a beating. As I read. And so it was just a time where I'm like, Okay, I gotta go somewhere. Where can I go, and then we'll move on to our dollar, and it was like, I need to run to church. I'm gonna run to church. Because if there's any place that I can feel safe. I feel safe there he can't get me there. Because he cannot lay a hand on me because I think God's house, right, like this is my thinking.

I mean I am, I'm baptized so technically I guess I'm a Christian, but just not a practicing one. But that was like the holy grail for me and I ran, and I just like got there and I'm like, please flip into the unlocked sleeve, and I ran and I ran and I ran and opened the doors. Thank you, God, thank you universe Thank you spirit. Thank you. Thank you for having these doors open. And I bring them to the inside the church and I sat down at the Crump view. And then I went on my knees, and I looked up to the stained glass window. And I just say, I am ready.

[15:45] TR: I am ready. I am ready. I am. I can do this but I need her straight. And in exchange, I promise I promise I promise and I promise that I will always be a voice for women who are too free to speak up for themselves, or too afraid to stand in their own power. Let me be that voice for them. Let me be that voice. I am ready. I'm ready for change. And it was as if it like I came begin to describe but it was as if like the light had shined right through the stained glass windows and it was like my, my prayers were answered. And I saw that as a sign, and this was like really truly my awakening moment of like, holy shit, like I haven't been in a real real dark place for the last four years of my life. What the hell have I been doing. I know that I have purpose. I know I have meaning. And I know that I'm supposed to be doing something great with my life. And if I continue on this journey that I'm on. I'm going to be dead before I'm 20. Easy. I'm going to be dead. I know I meant more. So please God answered my prayer. And, and, yeah, I mean, it was like, literally like a light switch from one to the next, and I just literally it was like all this fear energy that I had that was care I was carrying around with me was like being drained out of me like it was just releasing itself. And that light that I saw in the stained glass when they came through the stained glass window was like that's what I was absorbing. 

All this negative horrible fearful energy that I carry with me. And it was filled with light and, and hope and potential to do greatness, and to be great in my life, and to live a life in love, and not fear. And that was really just the epitome of that set the course really have courage over fear for me. If I can get through that. If I can seriously, you know, step out of an a very abusive relationship at a very young age, who I didn't tell a single soul about because I was so ashamed. And so in fear. If I can do that. I can do anything, because I am alive. I am alive and I saved myself. I can do this and I can help other women do the same. So that was a very long winded answer to your question, but I think it's important that you understand, you know bits and pieces of who I am and, you know, since a little girl, it has always been those rainbows and unicorns and fairies, But it has also been very dark. And without the dark, we can't see the light, and knowing that light does exist, gives me hope knowing that whenever I am feeling scared or living my life in fear or seeing others in fear. Either I become the light for them and hold that space for them, so that they have an opportunity to see the potential, and be hopeful that whatever that they're going through whatever that they're suffering, their pain. We can change that we can. We are the light, and if we bleed through our heart. We can do anything.

[20:00]  VL: Wow. I mean, that the stories that you're sharing are incredibly moving and I'm really grateful that you, you are somebody who has the courage to be vulnerable who has the courage to share this really impactful part parts of your life and not a lot of people, even have the courage to talk about events like this, even though they overcame them or they escaped them, or, that's not part of their lives anymore so definitely want to recognize that it was the perfect dancer because it was true and it was authentic and it was just so empowering to hear I think that it's, it's easy for us to discredit how far we've come. But what's really important is being able to recognize that and say, you know, this is where I've come from and this is where I am now, and I'd love to talk about that with you let us know what you're doing now. Where has your, your journey brought you to today?

TR: Well, I've really stepped really back into my connection to myself my higher power. Recognizing that my gifts from spirit from our Creator is something that should not be taken lightly. I do have a gift to see. I feared that for many years because of my experiences. But I also know when I use my gifts. Not only do I save myself from myself. I can help save others. And so, I have made that conscious choice to fully step into my power and let my freak out. And I say freak, because, well, I want to change that word I want to redefine what freak means, or weirdo or you're crazy like these have such negative connotations that are associated with these words, low vibration words. No, I want to embrace my Frank right I want to be different. I want to be. Not like everybody else because I'm not, and knowing that is okay, but also knowing the fact that we are all connected and, but that's what makes us also unique is, we all have our own gifts and talents. And if we can embrace our own for whatever that may be for you and for me, we can come together in in the harmony and imbalance. Right. Isn't that what it's all about right it's like finding balance finding harmony. And, and within that peace. Right.

There's so much suffering out there, and where I want to go and I just where I am now is keep standing in my power to keep standing in my truth to keep sharing my story, to, to encourage or inspire others to be vulnerable to accept what their life is to accept that the pain and the struggles that they're going through are legit. And that when you can accept that then you can identify that and then you can move on. And when you move on you move on with courage with confidence and say yeah that's me. But to do that, you got to recognize those things. And that's where I come in. And my gift to see to see your energy to work with your chakras, and to look within those beautiful flowing energy centers within your body and say here's where you stored shit. Here's where you've been shoving things down underneath the carpet or putting it in a drawer locking the key, and forgetting about it and then allowing that energy to build and then question yourself Why am I suffering because you don't even realize that you put in there.

And if you're an empath like me, you don't even realize when you're picking up other people's junk picking up other people's energy and vibes. And so that's where I am right now I'm helping others by showing the energy back to them holding that energetic mirror to them and showing them where their energy blocks are. And I've trained myself through practices of Reiki because Reiki to me is such a beautiful calming healing modality that is not invasive, it's, it's not intrusive, it's gentle and kind. I mean, you've experienced it for yourself. So you know but for those who are listening and curious about what Reiki is making is tapping into our higher power, its creator energies, like, Universal Life Energy is really what it means. And I'm just a conduit of connecting with that energy, I allow my body to be a conduit. So when I'm sharing my own energy when I'm giving that energy I'm not sharing my own energy. I am a conduit of energy from our Creator, and then I'm helping you to give you that that boost that you're missing to like push out those blocks to shift you. Unlock the shit that you stored. I am the key, I unlock the doors. I lift the veil for you so you can see, and when you see it, that's the identifying  that is the acceptance.

Do you want to be the victim or don't you want to be the victim? In my story I shared with you earlier, I didn't' want to be the victim anymore, I had to come to terms with myself. The is not my life, I know I'm meant for more. As soon as you accept that, you accept what's going on energetically in your body, there is a shift that happens. There is a transformation. and it goes from the dark to the light. and when you're in that light state, you step into your higher self, you step into your power. At least right now. I know there's more for me out there, this is where I am right now.

[26:36]  VL: I have absolutely loved the healing sessions with you. The best reiki I've ever received! I can't even begin to describe my experiences, and I know everyone is different. Part of what I aim to offer the listeners is something tangible, something practical they can do on their own to get them started. I would love it if you could share either tips and tricks, or a guide that we. can use to start today and uncover the energy we need to let our freak out!

TR: Yes of course. Thank you. The first place you want to start is with what you already have. You don't need any special tools. You don't need anything other than what you already have. The first thing I would say for anyone listening who doesn't know where to begin. You have to understand this thinking: the only way out is in. A lot of the time we live our lives in our heads. We time travel, we shift our thoughts into things that don't exist, or haven't happened yet. Or we sit and stew and think about the past. Our mind our ego plays so many tricks with us. The problem for the challenge that we have is when we're in her head, we're not in our body. And our body tells so many stories, if we're willing to listen.

[29:00]  TR: And the best way to do that is to find stillness and how to find stillness. You do that by taking deep breaths, breathing, and being in the present moment. So to be in the present moment, exercise your senses. What did you hear what do you see, what do you taste. What do you feel, what do you smell. Because that is of what is true in that moment of time. So if, for example, where I am right now I'm sitting in a white room, I've got white walls I see a painting behind me I'm learning the color blue. I am hearing my voice. I am looking at you, I can hear the fish tank. I can smell the essential oils, lemon grass. I can taste the coffee that I was just drinking still on the tip of my tongue. All of those things are happening right now in this moment, that is of truth, that is being in stillness.

Now, once you get to that moment of stillness, connect with your breath. And within you. I want you to imagine that from your tailbone, all the way to the top of your throat. There are three compartments in those three different doorways, okay. So starting out your tailbone to your belly button is like one compartment. Then from your belly button to your diaphragm, just below your rib cage is another compartment. And then from your diaphragm to the top of your throat to where your, your neck, your chin is right here is another compartment.

And if you imagine when you taking a deep breath in. You want to open the first compartment and expand your lower abdomen. So you inhale and expand your lower abdomen, continuing to inhale you expand the middle compartment. And then as you continue to inhale, you expand the upper compartment. There are three chambers that you open up and allow the breath to expand. And when you do that, you are tapping into your central nervous system. You are opening up you're giving more space to your organs, your innards, allowing more lung capacity to free. And so, not just the physiology aspect of your body, and opening it up and adding more blood flow into your body. You're resetting your body, but also when you're doing that, you're tuning into the areas within your body that might be carrying energy. And so you take inventory. And so I always say do a count to three so I'm like you're taking a deep breath in one you're unlocking one chamber. Two, you're unlocking the second chamber. Three, you're unlocking that third chamber. You want to do it with me?

[32:00]  VL: Totally I've been doing it this whole time but God intuitively found a block, I'm like, Whoa, right away instantly.

TR: Okay, let's see if somebody's ready. Okay, so first exercise your senses. Tell me, what do you see.

VL: Okay, so I'm also in a room with white walls, and I have a, like a walnut dresser behind me, and I am smelling essential oils also I have some blends on my body right now. And I can feel, be a little bit clammy in my hands. So I can feel a little bit of sweat in my hands. I'm also tasting. The, I had like a lemon water before, such when we first got on. So I'm tasting kind of the end of that. And I'm hearing my voice I'm hearing a little bit of static noise as well. And I just heard a car, drive by outside. And this is what's true and this is what's happening right now.

[33:21]  TR: Now, when you described all of that to me. Would you say that you weren't thinking about anything else other than what you were saying.

VL: Yeah, it was very present.

TR: Exactly, exactly what was happening. So I'm glad to hear that because that is exactly the challenge that we all face. We're so in our heads. Right, for time traveling or going back and forth between right things that don't exist things that have existed, whatever that is baggage. Those are our blocks that gets stuck in the pools of energy throughout your body, the mind really is the core center of everything that we experience right, our perceptions, is our reality. So if the world is feeling, or becoming too hard for you, overbearing and stressful. You're going to carry that with you. Right. And you're going to carry it, but it's going to channel into different parts of your body. So I'm glad that you were able to disconnect from the ego mind and connect with what is happening right here in the present moment. So that in itself is a practice. And it takes time, because our mind will want to wander and it will. and that's okay, but as long as we can start to recognize these things, these patterns that I'm thinking of. Oh, dinner tonight or I'm starving right now or whatever it might be.

As long as we recognize it, and then come back to the present.

Now to help relief, and move and shift that energy. That's where the breath work comes in. So, close your eyes. And I want you to take a deep breath in. And sometimes that helps to put your hands in the different areas as you're breathing on those three chambers. So you can put one hand on your lower abdomen. So you can put one hand on your lower abdomen. Okay and then you can put another one on your upper where your diaphragm is.

And then as your eyes are closed, you take a deep breath and expand into that Lord hand. Inhale, and then inhale keep inhaling into the yeah it's one big long inhale a count of three, so inhale. And then, anyhow keep going second chamber and then you move your other hand and share chest as you continue to inhale three. And how again and three chambers are exhale, sorry.

VL:  It's a big breath.

TR: So I know it's a bit of a practice but basically. Yeah, it's a big breath. Mm hmm. So inhale, 123.

Exhale, 123.

Inhale, 123.

Exhale, 123, so it gets easier. It's a little challenging to scribe, and also feel for people because technically we take very short shallow breaths throughout our days. But when we start to intentionally agree. And if you can imagine that you're unlocking three chambers with breath as you inhale and then exhale, you're releasing, and you're allowing that flowing energy to move through your body.

Right, it's all about the energy. And, yeah, as soon as like you start to know where you are getting the present moment. Take those moments of breath. You immediately feel so much better right after. And it really takes like. Geez three six cents each nine seconds. Not 12 seconds, like 12 seconds, you can't do math, don't know

[37:26]  VL: No judgment. it's so true because it gets you into the present moment and gets you to get into your body, and you really do feel this expansiveness and the first one's a little bit tricky but then as you get into the breath deeper and as you practice it, it becomes more expansive and more inviting and I noticed like, Oh my gosh, I'm clenching my jaw, again I'm like constantly doing this, and I noticed there's like, it feels like a gobstopper like a ball like almost like a pool ball in my throat, right now, which is very I mean I'm not that surprised because this is a major energy center that we've been working on.

But it's something that I didn't really think about earlier today, and it's now becoming a little bit more present in my mind.

But checking into the surroundings and your senses. That's a tool that I practice a lot more when I was struggling with anxiety because you're so trapped in your mind or you can be so trapped in your mind and it's one of the fastest ways to ground and I love what you said that you don't really need anything else you just need herself and you need to bring that awareness into where you are, where you're at. And then using that breath, as the tool that we all have organically innately like we all have the gift of breath or tool of breath, and breath is lifeforce energy so even though people might not think well I'm not clairvoyant and I don't move energy around or shift energy or I don't do Reiki, in a way, you do, because you have this breath, and when you bring that awareness to it and you use it in your own body, it can be really transformative and really powerful so thanks for sharing that.

The three chambers and a free paragraph like that. Also just using the hands on those three different areas. For me, I know that I'm like a tactile kinesthetic learner so to be able to breathe like when you said breathe into your hand, I realized I wasn't really breathing into the lower chamber, as much as I was into the second chamber so getting the rough deeper, just by breathing into my hand, worked so well. Wow, that was great, I love that.

I want to chat a little bit more about navigating the guests. So, I mentioned that maybe a listener is tuning in and thinking, I don't really have the same gifts, but maybe someone else is listening and thinking, Well, I do have those gifts I'm not really sure how to navigate through that. I have a kind of similar story, I guess, or experience as you did as a child, not as intense, or kind of in that darker side length, but I didn't have a sibling who had that same thing as me so I really suppressed, those thoughts and the visions and the feelings and all the different things I just kept pushing it away so I was hoping you can help us navigate a little bit more through that trouble or maybe we can talk about rephrasing of what freak means to you, or how we could we can redefine this and step into that power ourselves.

[40:39]  TR: We all have these gifts.

How we choose to use them is very unique to each person. My gift is to see though I can have a clear voice. But I'm also a clairsentience. I can feel. And so it really comes down to, when you're letting your freak out, it's like, which Claire. Are you exercising, which Claire resonates with you most. So there are four Claire's, there's clairvoyance see which are fantastic open about the gift to see so that sits and lays within your intuition, your third eye. Right. clairsentience, which I had spoken about that fits within your Sacral Chakra, which is your emotional chakra energy.

And you feel, these are people who work, and right, take on other people's energy, you feel it, you feel a plant's energy you feel a fugs energy you feel the world's energy. You feel it. Then you have Claire cognizance and Claire cognizance is this gift of knowing.

I don't know if you've ever met anybody that is so sure of themselves sometimes where they're just like I don't know I just know, I just know it's true. I just know what it. I don't know how to describe it I just know right it is over sense of knowing, then so that sits right in your crown chakra.

And that is that connection to source energy. Then there is the Claire audience and Claire audience is a gift here, and musicians, typically are clear audience, because they hear music before it even exists. And then they create the music. Everyone can choose to you use these gifts in different ways. And so for many years. I use my clairvoyance see as a gift to be an artist. And so I could see things that did not exist in his physical world. But then I would create it in my work, my art. And so that is for I hid for a very very long time. As an artist I became an artist, which is where in my intro, you know, as a six figure art director and award winning artist but that's, that's what I did. I hid behind my art.

So for anyone who is listening. Ask yourself. Are you someone that just know things and kids can't decide like our kitten or doesn't know where how you know things you just know that it's clear competency. Ask yourself. Are you someone who feels immediately. That is Claire sentience.

Ask yourself, do I hear to I hear words do I see words do I hear music like, what is it Do you like what you hear. Is that something that comes to you naturally or are you someone like me who is Claire voyance, who can see. Now, we all have the gift to see and feel and know, in the ear at all times. We can all exercise those, but we have a primary, and we have a secondary go to.

And so there's a fun little like quiz that we can do and we can kind of ask those questions to kind of get clear on meaning what your clear primary and secondary are if you're up to that.

[44:28]  VL: Oh my gosh, yes, let's do it. Okay so much fun.

TR: Okay, so I want you to think about a vacation. If you've ever had a vacation, think about a vacation or time that you've got away from your home. And what is the first thing that you go to, when you think about that occasion.

VL: I am I standing on a black sand beach.

TR: So you saw you literally visually saw that. Right. Yes, what came next.

VL: And my toes are in the sand and I'm moving the sand around with my feet and I can feel that it's warm on the top and underneath, it's a little bit cool.

TR: So then you felt right. Okay, next question. I want you to think of a time in high school. that was like the best day of your life.  

VL: I think I would say probably the best day was during one of our rugby games, and we won. Our rugby game and it was my first year playing rugby for our high school team and my sister was there and my friends were there, and we were just like freaking out and so excited and jumping around and laughing and it was. It was awesome. It was a good day.  

TR: So, what I got out of that is, you saw you felt, and then you heard. So, we can go on and ask many more questions of time traveling back to moments. But it sounds as if you are someone who sees first feels so primary, secondary, and then as a tertiary.

VL: Yeah, I would agree with that because I'm someone who has the most vivid dreams I think I've ever met in any other person. My dreams are incredibly event. And sometimes when my meditation practice is quite strong I can have what some people would label a daydream like a vision in my waking life. I feel like those come in, more often, not more often than when we see things but very strongly like they're easier for me to recognize when I have them, and then the hearing the auditory is interesting because sometimes I also do hear things but it's a lot less. I recognize that a lot less than I do. The seeing and feeling. I like those little photo quizzes

TR: yeah right so here's what's interesting. You need now that you're aware of that right and for your listeners, you know, I hope that you were playing along as well. Because when you start to become clear on where you get your guidance from spirit, our Creator. You can start to tap into that and be mindful of that. And when you are mindful of that you know that you're always trusting what is right and what is real and your truth. That is your true. And when you're not. When you're not for you. When you're not listening you're not sorry, trusting what you see.

And when you're not trusting what you feel. Spirit will screen the heck out of you and will use your treasury of hearing. And, and get your attention, because you're not listening. And then you come back to the beginning. Okay, I need to trust what I see, I need to trust what I feel. Otherwise spirits getting down at me, and I need to know.

[48:44]  VL: Oh my god, like you're calling me out right now because before this. Before this, this call. I had been kind of avoiding something, and I was thinking like, I'm going crazy I'm literally going crazy because I can't get this. I can't shake this feeling. And so funny that you're saying this because, right, as I was admitting to myself that I feel crazy. My ears started ringing.

TR: So take that as a sign that the Spirit is saying you need to check yourself girl. Come back home to self, and to come back home to self is to trust what you see and what you feel, because those are your ways in of letting your freak out right you got to get in to let yourself out. And that is really to me. What's, you know like your freakout means it's like trusting your innate gifts.

But the only way to do that is to go in and to pay attention. Be mindful, so that when life happens as it does, and situations come up for you. You have to check with what you're seeing. First, checking how you're feeling. And then just even listen, what am I hearing, go through the list, and let that be your guide to navigating yourself through life.

VL: You are like you're just hitting the nail on the head. Everything. And like I said, I think we have a lot of similarities or no we have a lot of similarities throughout our life and being able to step into this courage and and speak our truths and be in the air for other women and other people as well. However, I know that I get these questions a lot and so I wanted to bring it up with you, was that.

What if, so the what is like, well, what if I lose relationships. What if people don't like my freak, what if, what, what if other people say bad things about me and just all these different kind of fears or thoughts come up while we're going through this journey because this inward journey, really, is a can be very big and transformative in people's lives and not everyone's on that same journey.

What do we do with all the what ifs, what do we do with, with all those extra limiting beliefs and fears.

TR: Well I think you just said it right there. The keyword that we believe in that. There is a higher power, believe in that the universe has a plan for you. Believe in yourself. When you step into your power. It is amazing. It is really truly powerful and not powerful in the sense of like I'm strong like muscle power or egotistic person no it's not even not, it is when you stand in your truth.

You have to believe and have faith that where you are, is exactly where you need to be, and trust that the universe will provide what is needed for you in this moment. And that's all we can ask for right we cannot predict the future, we cannot change the past. So if we learn to be in the moment. If we learn to accept Okay. Yes, I've lost some friends along the way and it hurts, it comes back to acceptance. When we can accept when we're willing to hold the mirror up to our face, take accountability for anything that we may or may not have done, but also learn to look within self forgiveness, be vulnerable to accept that the term humility. And then just have the courage to keep going.

We are all frequency we are a vibration of energy. And depending on where you are on your journey in life. We will project. Certain vibrations out there. Perhaps you've heard of the term on the same wavelength, or we're not on the same wavelength, think about it as that. So, your energy is vibrating on a certain wavelength. My energy is vibrating on a certain wavelength, and that changes day to day right It all depends on what we're doing what we're picking up and whatever.

And when you're vibrating at a higher frequency, which is why I like to call my session like high vibration healing session. Because when you are in that higher frequency. You are literally letting go of a lot of shit. And that shit can come in terms of people, physical material things, but mostly energetic things. And that's what puts you at a different wavelength. And when you're at that wavelength, people who are at a lower wavelength cannot connect with you, they cannot resonate with you, they cannot relate with you, and vice versa. 

And what ends up happening is you attract people who are at that same wavelength that you are at, which is why our connection is divine timing because our energy was at the same or is at the same wavelength, give or take. Therefore our light matches the same. And we speak the same vibrational language. And we connect and relate. So in relationships with people.

When people drop off, and you're live trust and believe and know that, where you are is exactly where you need to be to come back to it full circle. Because our vibration is at a higher level, and trust and know that greater things are coming your way. Because when you're at that higher frequency possibilities are endless. And you attract the bright people that you need in that moment in your life. But you have to believe in order to receive 

[55:25]  VL: Very eloquently put, and so true. And I know from my own experience, believing and trusting in, courage, it's there all muscles, the way that I look at it and we have to keep training those muscles, we have to keep believing we have to keep trusting, we have to keep finding the courage. Because the more we do, the easier it becomes in the future, the easier saying yes to those big hairy scary goals and trusting the universe, and knowing that you are supported. You are supported and the more you believe that the easier the energy flows and I find to when I'm in those stuck spots when I'm when I feel like I'm hitting my rock bottom. I remind myself. Okay, like exactly what we did today, what's in front of me, what am I seeing, hearing feeling, what can I taste what can I touch. Can I take those deep breaths, can I recenter and ground myself, and remember that at the foundation. I am supported.

Remember that I have the courage and the strength that I need to be here right now because everything that has happened, often to this point in time, has led me here to this problem to this opportunity to this to this moment in time to this conversation. Everything has led us here together. And I don't believe in coincidence. I really don't. I believe in divine timing. And the more I let go of the fear or the need to change your control or predict the more clear. The journey becomes. Which is funny because it's almost like I'm trying so hard to see what's gonna happen next. And the more you let go of that, the more clear and more focus I have the cloud is gone, and the clarity is there.

And it reminds me actually of this really incredible quote, Steve Jobs, so he says you can't connect the dots looking forward you can only connect the dots looking backward. And it was something that really hit me when I was on that trip I was describing when you asked me a vacation that I had.

And that was one of the first two weeks of my trip I remember being on that beach and seeing and feeling and hearing all of those things. And at the beginning of my journey. I thought, what the heck am I doing, I bought a one way ticket to Guatemala, I am insane. But I heard a voice that said, buy the ticket. Go to Guatemala, like I literally in meditation heard this voice and now that you're saying, you know, you saw it you felt that you're hearing yet the universe is frickin pushing me. So anyway I did it. And I kept, I remember standing on the beach and it was a beautiful like a beautiful moment but I remember thinking, I don't know why the hell I'm here. But I don't need to know. I'm just going to be, I'm just going to be here seven months later, I look back, I looked at my trip on a map, I read through my journals I looked at my photos, and I thought, holy crap, I couldn't have planned a better seven months vacation or travel or whatever you want to call it, adventure. I couldn't have ever predicted the people I was going to meet the experiences I was going to have the things I was going to learn along the way. And I'm so glad that I let go. In the beginning, even though I was a little bit tough there were some times where I was like, okay, food poisoning was not part of part of what I wanted. But, again, it led me to meet certain people and to visit certain places and to know things about myself, for my own strength and that was a journey that I learned so much about my own strength and my own courage and my, my own belief in myself and trust that you just have to believe, like you said, you have to believe and keep believing. Absolutely love it. All right, ladies, tell us about how we can work with you because you're amazing and I know that you have virtual offerings as well so share some more about the raise your vibes with Tasha and how we can, how we can connect

[59:42] TR: I have several different services that I'm offering for people right now. We are in a time with COVID in I am aware that I'm still offering one to one Reiki sessions. And so this is an in person. If you are not comfortable with one to one in person sessions, I am offering distant Reiki healing Healing Sessions.

So I have a beautiful, beautiful space that I'm using right now and I'm following all of the protocols to ensure of your health and safety first and foremost, and what a Reiki session is is literally a top to bottom.

Energy clearing really helping you to understand your energy so that you can step into your higher self. It is an inward journey and experience. And I guide you along the way because I'm someone who believes that what I'm feeling what I'm seeing you need to resonate and connect with so that you can embody it. And when you embody it that's when you can really make those changes for yourself. But ultimately, it is a self discovery for you. And you can still do that with me during distance Reiki Healing Sessions so it would be a virtual call. And the only thing that I ask is that I get to see you lie down so that I can look at your body and see how you're breathing and so I can check in with your energy that way, and still very similar experience as a hands on, but without the hands on, and I will walk you through every step of the way. What you get out of that is really a life changing experience. It feels like a flood of energy that's just being pushed out of your body and it is ultimate peace ultimate rest and relaxation at the end of the day, I always ask any of my clients, never come with any expectations and come with an open mind.

That is all I can ask.

From there, I'm also offering energy readings. So for those that are just kind of getting into all of this really cool fascinating world of energy work, and are curious to know where their energy blocks are in their body. An energy reading session with me is a great way to do that. I, as I've mentioned I'm the one holding up the mirror for you. I am not here to project what my own personal thoughts are. I channel the energy and the connection with source energy. I call in your guides I call in my guides and I work through them to help you raise your vibration to the highest self.

And, you know, within an energy reading, I do provide exercises along the way. And again, I never asked that you bring any tools with you other than yourself. I want you to show up fully as who you are. And we'll use breathwork we'll use body movements, we'll make funny sounds whatever needs to happen to get out whatever it is that is happening in your body, that we need to release, mind body and soul. So you can do an unbroken energy reading with me. And then also I do offer one to one, or group meditation sessions as well. For those that are just looking to understand, meditation, how to get into it, teaching the principles of meditation, and how to allow meditation to benefit you and, again, to step into your higher self, those are really the three ways right now I also have a beautiful website for you that has so many freebies for you to tap into some free meditations. And if you are curious about what your energy is saying and if you had an opportunity to check in what your energy is telling you, I have a free online quiz that you can, that you can access, and it will give you a really fun response as to what your energy is saying to you, and provide you with some great tips there as well.

[1:04:00]  VL: And we have one more final round of the segment which is our rapid fire, around, are you ready?

WEBSITE | everythingisenergy.ca

INSTAGRAM | @iam_tasharomanelli 

CHAKRA QUIZ 

RAPID FIRE ROUND:

Question number one: What are you currently reading or what's your favourite book?

TR: Spiritually Sassy. It's actually a really good book. Oh my goodness, the author is a new author, so it's spiritually sassy Yes, eight radical steps to activate your innate superpowers and it's by son de Simone, I'm probably not saying that properly. But he is his beautiful flamboyant man who uses his body through dance, and expresses his spirituality. He's very got a very similar story of not feeling like he belongs, or when he was in doing his spiritual journey to didn't feel like he belonged. It didn't feel like he fit in fear he wasn't the type to wear all the white sit there and like, you know, be still for so long and what he realized is that his superpowers his spirituality doesn't have to come in the form of what his predecessors, you know, are or do. So it's a really interesting book. Love it.

Question number two: What do you love most about being a woman?

TR: Well, I gave birth to two beautiful boys. But I just love that. I came out in this world as the stronger one out of the two sexes.

Question number three, What does empowerment mean to you?

TR: empowerment means to me, oneness connectedness. When we all work together as one. We empower one another to be better to do better to act better and to make real positive change in the world.

Question number four: What are you currently working toward?

TR: I am working toward building a community. I am looking for ways to create soulful Sundays, where I can connect with other soulful like minded individuals who all Express very similar ways of living that I do, and sit in circle.

VL: Okay love that. I can't wait to hear about this. Thank you so much for being a part of the show, it is an absolute pleasure and honor to sit with you and to hear your story, and to learn all about kind of letting our freakout and choosing courage over fear I think it's the most perfect reminder for everyone who does listen to the show the women's empowerment show on how we can step into that power and empower ourselves to be more authentic and to be more freak, and weird and incredible and perfectly imperfect and all the things so i i appreciate what you do I, I know the world also appreciates, everything you do and how you serve. So, thank you so much.

 
Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E100: Ten Things I've Learned in 100 Episodes!
 
 

E100: Ten Things I've Learned in 100 Episodes!

So… I just re-listened to episode “0” of the show. It’s the short and sweet intro of how the podcast started. To be honest, I thought I would be cringing the whole time but I actually didn’t wince AT ALL!...


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[00:41] I listened and my heart felt so full. I was remembering the version of me who was so terrified and excited to start the podcast. My goal was to bring inspiration and excitement to women everywhere and I had no clue what I was doing – but I did it anyway!

In this trailer episode I tell a story about a young woman who was seeking a change. A woman who broke free from the expectations of others and went to live her dream! That woman was me.

During this time in my life I was discovering myself, and along the journey I met many mirrors. Some very strong, wise, beautiful, and empowering humans who completely lit up my life and inspired me to keep stepping into my true self. 

It also inspired me to create what is now the Women’s Empowerment Podcast. And today the 100th episode of the show! I can’t even believe it!! It’s so incredible and I am so proud and so full of love for what this has become!

Typically, every 10 episodes I do a Q&A show where I answer questions around specific topics, but today is a little different. Today I’m going to share some of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in the last 100 shows I’ve produced. Plus I'll be sharing more about how the show will evolve moving forward.

 

[2:15] LESSON ONE: JUST START!

I listened to podcasts for a few years before starting this one. I dreamed about how cool it would be to have my own podcast and it stayed a dream for a really long time. 

When I first decided that I wanted to have a show of my own, my mind immediately went to all of the reasons why I shouldn’t or couldn’t have my own show, and then I sat down and mapped out a plan. I thought, “if they could do it, so could I!” [they being everyone else I was listening to and following at the time.]

As a coach, I understand the importance of taking action, and there really is no time like the present… so my plan was to start with a live show on instagram and facebook that I would host each week and I would save the video/recording and use it for the podcast. 

I had NO CLUE what I was doing. I had only tired IG Live maybe once before? It was pretty intimidating at the time because most people weren’t really using it then. So anyway I gave myself five episodes, which was over five weeks to figure out how to turn those recordings into podcast content, and somehow it all worked out and I did it! I launched the podcast version of the show within five weeks. 

It was WAY more time than anyone needs to start a podcast, you could do it today! However, because I was also overcoming these limiting beliefs and fears, I was taking that little bit of time. Over that time I was also growing my confidence and developing my skills. 

As I think back to that time I am very proud of myself for actually doing the work. It’s not easy to grow and leap out of the comfort zone and to do something you’ve never done, but that doesn’t mean you can’t do it.

My only regret with the show is that I didn’t start sooner. Just start!!

 

[5:10] LESSON TWO: UPGRADE YOU HABITS

If you’ve been listening to the show for a while now, you may have already figured out that healthy habits are kind of my thing. Habits have changed my life, and whether you’ve noticed it or not, they’ve changed yours too.

I first understood the power of habits after reading Darren Hardy’s book: The Compound Effect.

I highly recommend reading this no fluff, amazing book to everyone I meet! It clearly explains how habits truly impact our lives: the good habits AND the bad habits!!

To know what kind of habits you have, start by tracking your days and weeks. Write out a list of everything you do each day, from when you wake up, to when you go to bed. If it applies, also record the quantity with the habit. For example: time on social media scrolling 30 minutes. Or drinking water, 2 litres. It might change each day, that’s okay, keep recording.

After about a week or so, notice where you’re spending your time. What are some of the things you are doing each day? If you kept doing these things every day, where do you think you’d be in three years?

As another example, let’s say you grab an afternoon latte every weekday. The medium size is $3.65, plus tax. That’s 18.25 a week, plus tax. Now fast forward to three years and countless coffees later… That’s $1,847 … plus tax. Maybe your afternoon latte is a very important ritual for you and you want to keep that going, but what about your other rituals, habits, and routines?

Where can you “upgrade” your habits? Here are some examples:

Start your morning with meditation or a brain game instead of checking emails and scrolling on social media.

Incorporate a daily movement practice into your routine and get some fresh air, or stretch your legs at lunch instead of staying in and working through your break.

Swap the daily news for an empowering podcast while you commute to work. 

There are a million and one ways to upgrade your habits. Start with one of them and stack your habits from there.

When I started my podcast I had a really strong morning routine. And before lockdown it stayed very strong and consistent. Now, my day-to-day has changed yet again and I’m working out how I can upgrade my morning in a new way as my life and habits are evolving.

 

[10:06] LESSON THREE: The Deep Work Can Be Scary

On the show we talk a lot about mindset and positivity. This is a huge part of our mental, emotional, as well as spiritual health. This type of health and wellness is slowly starting to become more mainstream, and even though it is more talked about, it doesn’t really make the work that much easier.

Facing fears, removing mindset blocks, and meeting the shadow parts of ourselves can be really scary. We’ve been suppressing all of this for so long and it keeps building up, so the longer we wait to confront it and heal it, the tougher it gets. 

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve cried, or I’ve thought about giving up, or how many times I’ve asked myself, “what is the point!?” This shit is tough. Like REALLY tough. And if you’re going through this deep, dark inner work, I FEEL YOU! I want to tell you it gets easier, but it doesn’t. It’s probably going to get harder. But you are also going to be stronger, and braver, and more empowered than ever before.

And when we start to slip into bad habits or old ways of thinking again, we can catch ourselves quicker and undo or reset a lot faster. Lately I’ve been noticing imposter syndrome creeping up on me and I, quicker than ever, shut that ish down!

I recognize that this is not serving me, and what I see in this other human being who is making big waves, is what I also see in myself. A thought-leader, a change-maker, a human of light who is raising people up by stepping into my own truth and light.

Your light can never be too bright, and don’t you dare let anyone tell you otherwise. 

And we have to use our light to work through the dark parts of ourselves because at the end of the day we’re all human, and we’re all going through a lot of stuff. We’re in this together.

 

[12:19] LESSON FOUR: QUALITY OVER QUANTITY

A few months before… hmm maybe it was a year before starting the podcast I partnered with dōTERRA and started using essential oils in my home and my life. I actually started using the oils because I wanted some holistic support for my anxiety. Within weeks I started feeling so much better and soon after I decided to sell dōTERRA’s essential oils and wellness products. I’ve never looked back. I honestly can’t even remember my life before dōTERRA. These products support every area of my health from physical, to social, to mental, emotional, spiritual, occupational and every other aspect of my life. One of the top reasons why I chose dōTERRA over any other oil company was because of their QUALITY. The quality of their oils exceeds any other essential oil company on the market. This includes their sourcing from all over the world while supporting families and communities, as well as their methods for distilling and third party testing to ensure quality with every single bottle of oil that arrives at our doorsteps. 

They are exceptional leaders in this industry and I am so proud to be a partner with them. The quality in these products also means the oils actually work. They have supported my own mental health journey, and they are supporting millions of households globally as well. 

I cannot speak enough about the importance of knowing more about what we are consuming, such as where it is coming from, and what impact it is making on the world. Not just with oils, but with all things.

Episode 61: I Didn’t Buy Clothes for an Entire Year

The changes we make in our lives don’t have to be so extreme, however the simple act of bringing awareness to our actions is incredibly important and can help us in doing better for a better world. 

This year I invested in reusable produce bags and snack/sandwich bags, as well as beeswax wraps and more so that we could reduce the amount of single use plastic we consume.

Reusable Produce Bags

Reusable Snack/Sandwich Bags

Beeswax Wrap

Using quality products, having quality thoughts, creating quality content. Whether you are focusing on your health, your wealth, or your happiness… always choose quality over quantity.

 

[15:25] LESSON FIVE: LEAD FROM THE FRONT

In today’s world we are constantly being watched. That came out a little creepy, but you know what I mean. People are watching, listening, learning, and absorbing everything we post, say, and do. We are impacting lives, and as leaders, it’s important to lead by example. There is no room for inauthenticity, for talking the talk without walking the walk. 

To build trust with yourself and with your audience you have to do what you say you’re going to do. Or do the things you are teaching others to do. 

In the last 100 episodes my life has changed. I’m taking every area of my life has been overhauled or impacted in the last two years. There has been growth, loss, and pain, and laughter. All of it. Yes, some parts of my life are more private than others and I have decided to post and share a more positive outlook and perspective AND I also talk about the tough work. I don’t show up crying every episode or every day on stories telling you the long list of negative thoughts that went through my mind when something out of my control happens. 

Instead, I take the time to connect to my inner self. I reach for my tools like my oils, and my healthy habits, and I come back to a place where I am able to respond rather than react. And I show up as the leader I want to be, and the leader I want my team members to be and I say, listen. Today was a tough day, and here is how I supported myself in this time. Perhaps there is some new information, or some helpful reminders that you might be able to incorporate into your life or healing also. 

Take it or leave it, this is me. Those that choose to join and follow and subscribe, amazing! Those that don’t, that’s okay too. 

Leaders. Your people will find you. Keep showing up. Keep leading by example. Your actions will speak volumes compared to your words.

 

[17:55] LESSON SIX: CONFIDENCE COMES FROM WITHIN

There have been a lot of episodes on confidence in the show and they have become quite popular too.

Episode 68: Taking the Big Leap Out of Your Comfort Zone

Episode 53: How to Build Your Confidence Tool Kit

Episode 28: Know Your Worth

Episode 79: Confidence and the Core Chakra

Lately I’ve been recognizing languaging and actions that stem from insecurities. I’m mostly noticing it in other people, and remember that the other people in our lives are our mirrors… so this is very valuable information about ourselves as well.

I did mention that my life has been overhauled in many ways. As I’m sure a lot of people's lives have been this year. One of the areas of my life that has been greatly impacted is my career and business. I recently became a co-owner of a pilates studio. HELL-O! WOW this is honestly a dream come true, but also it’s so huge and new that there is fear and limiting beliefs, and the negative mindset comes up from time to time. 

And when I feel my insecurities or negativity creeping in, I have to really remind myself of my own capabilities. Yes there are things that can help impact us positively and negatively, but our confidence, our power comes from within. We have to continue to connect to this core confidence so that it is so strong and unshakable. So that we can take leaps and make our dreams a reality without getting in our own way. 

The biggest, most debilitating mistake is searching for your self confidence in others. Waiting for accolades, and for others to tell us that we are great. Of course I love positive feedback and reinforcement. This is a way to remind me of my own power. I didn’t create a podcast with over 100 episodes because other people believed in me. It was finally created because I believed in myself.

I want to shake my friends sometimes because I see their light and their greatness and their potential but they do not see themselves this way and they don’t go after their dreams.

I recognize this SO WELL because I have been in their position before too. Where people want to shake the sense into you.

 

[21:02] LESSON SEVEN: YOU GET WHAT YOU BELIEVE YOU DESERVE

This lesson grows off of the previous lesson. Our self worth directly corresponds to our net worth. You get whatever YOU BELIEVE you deserve. Not think or say or feel, what you BELIEVE. You have to believe in yourself, you have to believe that you DESERVE your dreams because YOU DO! YOU DESERVE THE ABSOLUTE BEST! You deserve success and happiness, and anything else you desire that is serving the greater good. 

If you’re hitting a wall or a block or something of the sort, check in with yourself. What do you believe you are worth? Care for yourself, show up, be brave, be bold, learn to love yourself more and more and you will build your self worth. While this is happening watch how your success and happiness builds too!

Start believing in yourself and in your greatness.

 

[22:22] LESSON EIGHT: CONSISTENCY IS THE KEY TO SUCCESS

I honestly feel like this lesson doesn’t really need to go into depth because it’s pretty straight forward. Especially if you think of it from a health and wellness perspective. You can’t workout one time and expect to see results.

Do you want to get stronger? Do you want to feel better in your body? Do you want to move every day? Do you want better posture, flexibility, mobility, etc? Then keep working out. Not just one time, but consistently over a long time, and then keep doing it.

Last year I hit a really hard wall in my business. I can remember sitting on the couch with tears welling in my eyes. I started by business years ago and had felt like I had only grown an inch. That was the day I questioned my purpose. I SERIOUSLY questioned if I should quit going after my dreams and get a J-O-B. I genuinely thought about the idea but it felt like a death of my soul. You must understand: giving up on dreams for me is soul-crushing! But my heart was heavy and hurting because I had been working so-forking-hard and it only felt like it was getting harder!

In my overwhelming despair I decided to draw a bath. I sat with my heavy emotions, and my negative self talk. And after a while I started to let go of all the pain, and come back into alignment with my purpose instead. My purpose is to help busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. So that’s what I did. I helped myself create healthy habits so that I could show up as the best version of myself and transform my own life. And I’m so forking glad I didn’t give up on myself because now I;m even stronger at serving and supporting others.

Plus nearly a year later, I leveled up with a new and daring adventure as a new business owner of a brick and mortar pilates studio and this has been a dream of mine since… I was 16 I think? A long time!

 

[25:13] LESSON NINE: THE WORLD NEEDS TO HEAR YOUR VOICE!

In a previous episode about the throat chakra I shared the journey of my childhood struggles with my throat, tonsils and my ability or I guess lack thereof, to be seen and heard.

Episode 58: Speak Your Truth with the Fifth Chakra

I cannot specifically remember if this was part of my hesitation with starting my own podcast. To be honest this is such a common mindset block for a lot of entrepreneurs, and it felt very prominent in my journey as well. It’s the limiting belief of not feeling like our voice or our message is worthy. Why would anyone want to listen to me? Who cares about what I have to say? Well actually… the show has received over 17,000 unique downloads completely organically over the last 100 episodes, and I get messages all the time from people telling me how much they enjoy the show. This morning I received a voice note about episode 99 and how much they liked it! 

WHO ARE YOU NOT TO SPEAK YOUR TRUTH? 

WHO ARE YOU NOT TO SHARE YOUR VOICE?

WHO ARE YOU NOT TO BECOME THE POWERHOUSE HUMAN THAT YOU WERE MEANT TO BE?

There is someone out there who is listening to you. Who needs YOU, your message, your voice, your perspective, your support. 

I say this in the intro episode of the show: “I believe that the Universe has guided you here for a reason. You can call it luck, chance, guidance, or synchronicity, but for whatever reason, your path has aligned with mine. And as of this moment. We are connected.”

Your people will find you. And they want to hear from you.

 

[27:26] LESSON TEN: LISTEN TO THE NUDGES, LET IT BE EASY

“Let it be easy” has been my mantra over the years. Wherever I feel frustrated or blocked or challenged I stop, take a breath, and say my mantra out loud: LET IT BE EASY. When I am ready, I will go back to whatever I was working on and more often than not the work flows.

We are always receiving messages. Often from our bodies about our health, and sometimes from the Universe. Most of the time I am being reminded to take breaks and breathe. Other times I am being pointed in a new direction. Whenever I am feeling confused about my next move, I stop, breathe, and say “let it be easy” and I trust that I will be guided to a path that is free flowing and smooth.

The nudges are the clues, the hints, the signals, the messages that the Universe sends us. It’s always working in our favour, we’re just not always listening… 

I received nudges to move my podcast from weekly live shows and videos to pre-recorded episodes and videos. Then, that transitioned into audio podcast episodes and no more videos. Soon I also felt called to host guests on the show, and now as we grow more, I have new nudges to follow. But before I get to the new evolution of the show, let’s take a peak at the top three episodes so far!

 

[29:18] THREE MOST POPULAR EPISODES SO FAR!

#3: Episode 01: New Moon, New Beginnings

This is the very first episode and live recording of the show. It was a new moon on this day and that is pretty auspicious and special – if you like to follow the moon phases, which obviously if this is the third most popular episode, you must follow it! Haha 

This episode talks about the moon phases, the new adventure in podcasting, as well as manifesting with the moon.

Here's the best part. There is a video and I am nervous, and excited, and adorable. These videos and looking back is so cool in recognizing growth in yourself. It’s pretty amazing evidence of where we’ve come from; and how far we’ve come.

#2: Episode 92: An Action Plan for How to Be a Morning Person

This is essentially a 15 minute guide to creating your morning routine. I break down the benefits of a morning routine, and the step-by-step formula to making your very own.

#1: Episode 81: 5 Tips for Positive Self Talk

Simple, yet powerful, in this episode I break down 5 tips for talking more positively to yourself. I also include information about the importance of this and how to navigate the negative self talk as well.

 

[31:28] Okay now! WHAT TO EXPECT FOR FUTURE EPISODES:

→ More guest episodes! But not as bonuses, as part of the weekly content that I am sharing! We have some amazing guests coming up and I am really pumped about it! You can expect to hear from them soon!

→ I am monetizing the podcast! WOO WHOO! Currently I am enrolled in a new course to learn more about sponsorships and brand partnerships. I am so excited to be doing this because I know it will help myself and the show grow! I spend a lot of time producing the show and creating the content, I want to be able to offer more, and I also want to get paid to keep it growing. Super excited about this!

Great things are happening! Thank you so very much for celebrating this 100th episode with me! I will be popping some champagne I think tonight, or at least I will be this weekend! I appreciate you and I can’t wait for us to grow together!

Find me on instagram @vallavignelife

 
Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E99: How to Increase Your Vitality
 
 

E99: How to Increase Your Vitality

Healthy habits for each area of wellness that you can start in the next 24 hours to help you increase your vitality…


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[00:26] Hi there, welcome back to the Women’s Empowerment Podcast, I am so happy you are here. I’ve got to tell you my life has been very busy the last few months and I’ve been finding it hard to slow down and recharge my batteries. 

I feel guilty when I have a moment to myself, and with everything that needs to be done, I use my “down time” to tie up loose ends or work on projects or something more “productive.”

I’ve been making excuses for why I can’t relax in a bath, or meditate in the mornings. My schedule is filled with tasks and my to-do list keeps growing.

It’s been so long since I’ve felt a full cup, that I can’t even tell you the last time I had an abundance of energy or creativity.

Here’s what I do know: I’m not alone in feeling this way. In fact, I would bet that everyone listening right now has felt this way recently. I would argue that these feelings come from the complete disruption that this year has brought and that through this time we have been jolted into survival mode. 

We are trying to get through the day, feeling overwhelmed that everything must happen now. But survival mode isn’t sustainable. And if we haven’t reached the point of burnout yet, I can assure you that if we keep this up, we’ll feel it very soon. 

I’ve been feeling it more and more and my physical body has been sending me signs to pay more attention to how I’m feeling, and to fill up my cup first.

Which is why I wanted to use this podcast episode as a friendly, but firm reminder to slow down, and reestablish self care in our daily habits. 

I can confidently say that the only reason why I haven’t completely burnt out is because I have solid habits in place, and even though I don’t have bigger components of self care, it is these everyday habits that keep my vitality up and keep my body going.

If you’ve listened to the show before, you’ll know that I like to give practical and tangible tools so that you can start taking action TODAY. I also like to skip the fluff and get right to the good stuff. Let’s go through the 7 Areas of Wellness and I will share some simple daily habits we can start incorporating into our daily lives to help fill our cups. 

What I’d like you to do is listen carefully. Notice which areas of your wellness need a little extra love and attention. At the end of this episode, I will share a few extra tips on how to stay consistent with these habits.

 

[3:47] Area of Wellness One: Physical

This is a huge category and we could probably break it down into several smaller categories, however for the purpose of today’s episode, I will share a variety of suggestions and you can choose which feels best for you at this time.

  1. Take a break. Use this time to relax and step away from the work you are doing. Even if it’s for 10 or 15 minutes. 

  2. Go for a walk. Moving your body and getting fresh air are two great ways to fill up your physical cup. Really take the time to move and breathe, and leave your phone at home. 

  3. Exercise. While a full workout every day might not be possible in the start of this habit, scheduling 15-20 minutes of daily movement could be. There are so many resources for quick workouts that you can do from home, there aren’t any excuses to not do them. Personally I have learned that I am more likely to get a workout in BEFORE I start my daily tasks rather than after. Choose the time of day that works best for you and your schedule.

  4. Choose wholefood nutrients. Our nutrition is foundational for our health and wellbeing, and incorporating healthier options in our daily self care supports our bodies from the inside out. It can be as simple as drinking the correct amount of water for our bodies, adding in more greens, or maybe it’s taking high-quality supplements every day. I’ll link to the supplements I take daily and where you can get them.

  5. Take days off. Schedule in your lunch breaks, vacation days, and days off. Commit to not working or stressing about not working on those days. For me Sundays are my day off. The most “work” I do on Sundays is to plan my week out, but I rarely go on my computer or check my emails on Sunday. People in my circle know that I set boundaries around this day and that’s important to me. It also helps if I schedule something fun into the day. This past weekend we went pumpkin and apple picking, and we made butternut squash soup with some of the ingredients we got from the local farms we visited. 

DAILY LIFELONG VITALITY SUPPLEMENTS: Wholesale Enrolment + Pricing

BUTTERNUT SQUASH SOUP RECIPE: https://www.gimmesomeoven.com/instant-pot-butternut-squash-soup

 

[6:46] Area of Wellness Two: Emotional

This area of wellness can be difficult to navigate because for some of us, we have never learned about emotional intelligence. If this is a new term for you, I highly suggest reading the book titled Emotional Intelligence. I will link to it in the show notes page for you. A personal with emotional intelligence is responsive to situations rather than reactive. It’s the ability to be aware of and understand our own emotions, while also being able to properly embrace them without letting them take over. 

You can assess this area of your wellness by asking a few questions:

  • When was the last time I did an activity that made me feel really happy?

  • What do I do that helps me feel confident? Energized?

  • Am I processing my emotions in a healthy way?

Here are some ways we can improve our emotional area of wellness:

  1. Give ourselves permission to feel our emotions. This can be done alone, or with another person who we feel safe with and can hold space for us. It’s okay to feel and express ourselves as long as we are doing so safely. This could be a daily practice of checking in with how we are feeling, noticing and allowing the feelings to flow.

    1. Keep a journal. Document the good and the bad feelings. Allow yourself to write it all out and maybe even come up with creative solutions for how we can celebrate, or cope with the emotions.

    2. Do something we enjoy. Do you love to draw? Craft? Take photographs? Dance to your favourite music? Whatever you love to do, do that! And actually enjoy it while you do it! Switch it up every so often so that it doesn’t become a chore, and it stays a joy!

    3. Develop healthy and supportive friendships. I always feel better emotionally after I’ve spent some time with a friend. Last week a friend of mine and I met to run an errand, and even though it was a short visit, we had a nice tea and walk together while we shopped for some great home decor pieces for her bedroom! It was lovely. Call a friend and make a date, you’ll both be grateful you did! On the day to day this might be a friendly text to a friend, a comment on their socials, or a call on your commute. For more ways to build friendships, you’ll want to hear area of health number four.

 

 

[11:04] Area of Wellness Three: Intellectual/Mental

Mental health has been a very popular topic of discussion over the last several years. More and more people are beginning to understand and serve this area of health, yet many people will say their mental health could be improved. Even though we each have our own reasons for why this is, we still live in a world that demands instant everything: results, gratification, connection, etc. However, said plainly, this is unrealistic. 

To increase vitality in our mental health, try any of these self care habits:

  1. Make time for relaxation. Can you incorporate 10 minute mediation or savasana? Perhaps an evening soak with candles, epsom salts, and essential oils? Maybe it’s taking a lunch break outside in the sunshine. Think of the ways you like to relax and how you can incorporate this into your daily routine. Personally I like to wind down by doing a French lesson on an app on my phone before going to bed. Since it’s another language it requires my full attention. It’s not how I want to keep spending my evenings but it’s helped me a lot for the last few months when I’ve struggled to turn off my monkey mind before bed.

  2. Engage in hobbies outside of work. I’m what some people call a “workaholic” But I’m working on that. I often joke that my hobbies are work. LIke taking photos and creating content… and even though those are enjoyable – I have to create boundaries around it. Some great hobbies are: arts/crafts, reading non-work-related material, building a puzzle, visiting museums/exhibits, yoga and exercise, spending time in nature, playing with lego, the list is really endless. Choose a hobby that you enjoy and spend a little time doing that each day.

  3. Stop feeling bad about boundaries. If you don’t want to do something, go somewhere or something that is being asked of you crosses over your boundary line, say “no.” and let it go! Don’t feel bad for saying no to something that doesn’t light you up or fill your cup. I had a really hard time with this for YEARS, and one of the personal development books I was reading at the time encouraged me to say “no.” and not give a reason to just politely say no or no thank you. So I stepped out of my comfort zone and started saying no. At first I felt guilty and then I realized that after the short feeling of guilt, I felt a HUGE wave of relief! It became easier to say no to what didn’t fill my cup.

  4. Stay consistent. This could be said about any of the seven areas of wellness and the suggestions I’m sharing, but what I do know is that when I’ve been consistent with my habits, my mental health thrives. I noticed this the most when I was working out every morning at the gym. Yes I was working on my physical health and that was improving, but so was my mental health – in a really powerful way. I think the consistency played a big role in it.

 

[17:33] Area of Wellness Four: Social

This area of wellness includes your friends, acquaintances, family and relatives. Social connection is incredibly important to health and well-being. It’s so easy to get caught up and overwhelmed that our busy lives affect our close relationships. And although true friends and family will understand that life has its seasons, they are true friends when they can kindly point out and recognize when this area of wellness needs some extra attention. 

Consider the important relationships you have in your life, how are you currently nurturing them? Are you getting face-time with these people?

Some ways to increase vitality in our social area of wellness could be:

  1. Prioritize your partner. Or your family, or your best friends, or your kids. Whomever your people are. Your people love you, but they also need love from you. Yes self care is filling your cup, and your people are part of your life and well-being. It doesn’t have to be the first thing you do every day, but it could be part of your daily habits to express your love and appreciation to your partner/people.

  2. Avoid bringing work home. This is a tough one for me, especially since sometimes I work from home. It’s important to create boundaries around work and home life. Set your “office hours” and honour those hours. Creating and maintaining these boundaries for yourself will encourage other people in your life to do the same, and they will respect your boundaries when they see you doing so.

  3. Go to the event you were invited to. Again, this may not be an every day thing, and maybe we can’t go to every event! But I will tell you right now that when I started showing up for more family events, my relationship with my family members improved exponentially. I set boundaries around my time and I always drove myself to the event so that I could leave when I was ready, but I showed up and it meant a lot to my family members. They were more understanding if I had to leave a little earlier and they were very grateful for my company. 

  4. Join a like-minded group/community. A couple years ago networking and meeting new people was so out of my comfort zone. To be honest I don’t really recognize that part of myself anymore but at the time, putting myself out there was a HUGE leap out of my comfort zone and I am so grateful that I did! My only regret is that I didn’t do it sooner! The relationships I’ve built, the amazing people I have met, and the things I have learned are truly priceless. Again, it might not be a daily habit, however finding events, communities, or groups that you could meet with weekly or monthly can be very important for self-care and vitality.

  5. Connect with a friend. A daily call? A quick text? A weekly lunch? A morning walk? There are countless ways to connect and some of them can be done daily. Maybe you’re both working on increasing your vitality and self care – be each-others accountability buddies!

 

[23:13] Area of Wellness Five: Spiritual

This area of wellness will be different for everyone as spirituality means many things to different people. The way I like to view this area is that our spiritual health is about nurturing the things that are beyond ourselves. The parts of our worlds that have deep meaning and ask us to reflect.  Consider the following questions to assess your spiritual health:

  • Am I engaging in spiritual practices?

  • Am I taking time to reflect on the things that matter most to me?

  • Am I doing my best to contribute to causes I care about?

Some healthy habits/practices for spiritual health include:

  1. Prayer, meditation, and/or mindfulness. There are many methods of these practices and each can be very effective in nurturing our spiritual practice. Even mindfulness, as an example, can be in the form of movement like in yoga, or perhaps a walking meditation. If this is something that interests you but is also new to you, consider exploring different types of prayer, meditation and mindfulness and seeing which one resonates with you.

  2. Donate to a meaningful cause. What is important to you? How can you donate and support this cause? It doesn’t always have to be money, perhaps it’s volunteering your time, or raising awareness in your community.

  3. Connect and reflect with like minded friends and community members. I used to host virtual full moon ceremonies and the women who joined, as well as myself LOVED these evenings together. Our meditations and reflections were so much more powerful when we came together as a collective. 

 

[25:09] Area of Wellness Six: Occupational

Most people spend the majority of their time at their workplace or working throughout the week, which makes it one of the most important areas of wellness, and often an overlooked and/or abused area. Remember that we’re working on ONE area of wellness, and ONE of the suggestions so that we aren’t overwhelming ourselves with all these new daily/weekly habits. 

Here are some self-care suggestions to consider when it comes to occupational health.

  1. Create and honour work boundaries. If you want to leave work by 3pm every day, at 3pm leave work. No exceptions. If you check emails between 1 and 4 every day, don’t you dare open your emails outside of that window. If you’re off on the weekends, let your voicemail take a message that you can return on Monday.  Set your boundaries, respect your boundaries. End of discussion. 

  2. Eliminate, delegate, and automate whenever you can. What can we take off our plates so that we can be better at working in our zone of genius and really love our work? Go through your to do list daily or weekly and see what you can eliminate, delegate, or automate. Then work on the more important tasks from there. 

  3. Incorporate continuing education. Deepen your professional knowledge by reading or learning more about your industry each day. Perhaps there is a helpful book, podcast, or online course you can commit to reading, listening, or working on for 30 minutes a day. 

 

[28:15] Area of Wellness Seven: Environmental

I think of environmental wellness in two main pillars: the first is the planet/environment. How can we make the world a better place? The second is: the home environment. How can we make our home a better place? If you’re on the journey to personal growth and development, you’ll know that the work, changes, and transformations start with us as individuals. We cannot change others but we can change ourselves. This also applies to the environment. We might not be able to save the planet as one being, but we can play our part in making the world a better place and the ripple effect will take place and encourage others to also make a difference. As with each of the areas of wellness, I will share some suggestions. Remember that there are countless things we can do to support each of these areas, even if I haven’t included them in today’s episode.

  1. Marie Kondo your living space. If you haven’t already read the BOOK: “The life changing magic of tidying up” by Marie Kondo, I recommend it. I think the series might still be available on Netflix for anyone who has it. Go through your items and only keep the things that bring you joy. Marie teaches her method and it’s a lot of work – I’ve done it before, so it might be something you want to work at each day.

  2. Make environmentally friendly swaps. Once you’re finished with your household cleaning products, skincare products, or any household products, consider buying environmentally friend options. These are generally products we use every single day, so how can we make them better, and feel better about our choices each time we use them? Check out my Green Cleaning E-Book!

  3. Reduce, reuse, recycle. We’ve all heard of these three words, but are we practicing them? The first word is REDUCE. This is something the majority of the population struggles with, but perhaps recently we have noticed a reduction in our consumption. Reduce the amount of packaging, plastic, negative self talk. Nobody needs more of it. Nobody. Reuse. I always try to reuse things AT LEAST TWICE if I can. For example the pasta sauce in the glass jar I’ve recently used to put our extra soup in. I use reusable water bottles instead of plastic bottles, etc. Recycle. Each area has different recycling policies. Check out your local community website to learn more about the proper ways to recycle in your area. 

  4. Practice Ahimsa. Ahimsa is one of the five yamas in the yogic philosophy and practice. It means “Non-Violence” it relates to non-violence to ourselves, and to our environment. Each day, bring more awareness to the cause and effect of your daily actions, how can you bring more care to yourself and to the environment?

 

After reading through the show notes, or listening to this episode, and the areas and the suggestions I shared, I hope that you feel inspired to start your new self-care habit. Remember to choose the one that you feel most drawn to at this time. 

What’s so wonderful about this work is that it creates a ripple effect. As you build and increase the vitality of one area of wellness, the other areas will also benefit from the effects. Remember to work with one area at a time. Once you have developed a habit, you may choose to stack another one (any one).

There are many theories as to how long to practice something before it becomes a habit, but the most relevant one is, however long YOU need. Some habits form faster than others, take your time building yours.

 

[35:45] As promised, here are 3 Tips for Staying Consistent with your Habits!

#1. SCHEDULE SELF CARE

What gets scheduled, is what gets done. I will never get tired of saying that because it is the truest and simplest method. Grab your planner, open your electronic calendar, whatever you use, and input your self care.

 

#2. TRACK YOUR HABITS

Whether it’s a sticker chart you hang on your bathroom mirror, or a tracker you made on Canva, find a way to track your health habits each and every day. Maybe it’s in your physical planner. 

 

#3. SHARE YOUR JOURNEY

One of the best ways I hold myself accountable is when I share my challenge on social media. I tell my online community exactly what I’m doing and I share my progress journey with them. Each day I think about the fact that I have to keep up with my goals because others are watching me. It’s accountability, and it works every time.

 

If you aren’t ready to share it with your socials, then I suggest sharing it with a friend who will keep you accountable.

Thank you so much for being here with me today. Next week is another epic bonus episode with a wonderful soul and light. I am so excited to share this episode with you. I know you’re going to love it! Have a wonderful week.

 
Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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