Posts in Health & Wellness
E149: Eliminating Overwhelm & Creating Work-Life Balance
 
 

E149: Eliminating Overwhelm & Creating Work-Life Balance

Four weeks worth of group coaching wrapped up into a 30 minute episode to support you with understanding the real reasons why you’re feeling overwhelmed with work-life balance.

Continue for helpful solutions, journalling prompts, and action steps moving forward…


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[1:29] Welcome back to the women’s empowerment podcast. I am your host, Valerie LaVigne. For those of you in our Instagram community, you would have seen that we’ve spent the last four weeks behind the scenes in the Make a Habit Mentorship program - the same one that is sponsoring this episode… well sort of.


The behind the scenes look is really a mock-up of how the program works. I decided to play around with the concept after a friend of mine suggested I share this on socials as a way to give people an idea of what the Mentorship program is like. 


Now, in all honesty, I wasn’t sure how this was going to go, but here are the logistics of how it went:


I offered the idea in Instagram stories and had three different options for habits we could work on together for the month of September. The community voted and the most popular vote was Eliminating Overwhelm and Creating Work-Life Balance. Once we had our set habit, we could start the case study. I tried to keep things as simple as possible, and spent a lot of time learning as I went.


Since I was using a mock-up client, I wanted to engage with the instagram community to really understand the struggles with this particular topic. To do that I used Sunday to poll the community in stories with different questions relating to work-life balance, stress, overwhelm, etc.


The responses from the polls helped me craft the content for a weekly Instagram live turned IGTV. These lives were a look into each of the four calls we have during the Mentorship program. In each call we analyzed the data to “check in” to where we were at and offered some solutions as well as asked more in-depth questions.


Here’s where I personally found this part of the case study the most challenging: in the actual 1:1 there is an intimate dialogue and conversation. With the live, not many people were there to interact with so I offered many examples. It still lacks the connection and customization of the 1:1 program. 


However, from a business perspective this makes a great resource for future clients or anyone with questions about the program and how it works. In addition to that, the weekly quizzes and specific theme for the month was also really helpful because the community engaged really well in stories and I had lots of feedback to work with for content creation and further support. 


Now, there were a couple other things I created during this case study. The first was a follow up carousel post. The follow up was post-IG live with the key points, takeaways and next steps. This part of the case study is meant to be a mock-up of the follow up email I send to my clients. After our coaching call I send an email with key points, and homework for the week. 


Lastly, I created some additional content that was more light and motivating or inspiring. Sometimes this is sharing a relevant post, other times it is a motivational quote or a funny reel. With my Mentorship clients I also develop a close relationship with them and will send and share posts or quotes that are relevant and positive in between our coaching calls. 


Overall I think the Case Study went really well and I have lots of ideas of how I want to continue doing it in the future. I’d also like to incorporate this into the content calendar quarterly! More info to come!


Okay let’s break this down into each of the weeks.


[10:01] Week One: Discovery Call. The goal of this week is to better understand our starting point. Where are we struggling with work-life balance specifically? What does balance mean to us? What do we feel are we missing in our lives?


Based on the story polls, our mockup client is lacking balance between work and life. They work for someone else and finish work at about 3:30pm-5:30pm on weekdays. They aren’t really feeling a life of purpose, but it’s more on the purposeful side of the scale vs the neglected or lack of passion side. 


To our mockup client, having more work-life balance would make them feel fulfilled, in control, be less stressed, and allow them to do things like focus on personal growth, take more pauses throughout the day, have a flexible work schedule, sleep, and exercise daily.


When asked, “what do you need more of in your life?” the client answers: movement/activities, sleep, and money would be their top 3. Overall, they feel pretty successful in work and in life.


With this information we can use the rest of the discovery call to outline some next steps. We’re breaking things down into teeny-tiny habits this week and here were some of the takeaways…


For people who want more time, our tiny habit is: notice where you have “lost time” or have time leaks in your schedule. Do this by writing out your weekly schedule in detail to see where you can “gain” extra time.


For the people who voted for more movement/activities: get creative with adding new ways to incorporate movement throughout your day. Do 20 squats after sending off emails, add in some jumping jacks while you wait for your coffee to brew, or walk and talk during meetings.


Those who voted for needing more money in life: go through all of your expenses from last month. Where did you spend your money? Break this down into categories relevant to your spending: coffee, clothes, houseplants, eating out, etc. Did anything stand out? Were you shocked at spending a lot of money in a certain area? Can you pare-back anywhere?



The mockup client homework for the week is to focus on one of the tiny habits and bring the data or share how it went the following week. Depending on the conversation with the client, in a 1:1 setting we would also discover how this habit would best be tracked and figure out if other things needed to be done before the habit we created.


Week #1 IGTV

Week #1 “Homework”


[15:44] Week Two: Checking-in and Overcoming Obstacles. The goal for week two is to see what’s working, and what isn’t. Where are you getting stuck when it comes to your new habit and/or your work-life balance? Now that we’re bringing awareness to this new habit or area of life, we will also start to discover old and bad habits, as well as certain factors affecting us that we might not have considered during the discovery call. 


Based on the story polls, our new client is not going so well with their habits 52/100 rating and is currently feeling overwhelmed with work. The top three obstacles are: saying yes, when they really mean no; ignoring the body’s needs and signals; and not valuing self-care/personal time. Their biggest struggle with this work-life balance is time. Either not having enough of it, or not checking out on time, or not having a plan for the time allotted for work.


If I could wave my magic wand, our mockup client would need: another Sunday, spa, better sleep, a whole day to themselves, a virtual assistant, motivation, to move on, energy, and to pause the world so they can rest and also not miss out on anything at the same time.

As with any obstacle or struggle, there is always a deeper meaning. This week, instead of offering suggestions, I’m asking deeper questions…


If you’re reading this right now and you resonate with not valuing self-care/personal time, journal on these questions:

What does self-care mean to you?

Where does personal time appear on your priority list? Why do you think that is?

When do you feel like your cup is full?


If your biggest obstacle is poor planning/scheduling, journal on these questions…

What’s the real challenge here for you?

When are you saying ‘yes’ when you really mean ‘no?’

What is the ideal schedule/balance you want to achieve?


Answering these questions helps us really understand the deeper meaning behind our struggles, and how we can overcome them permanently. Week two can be a bit intense in the Make a Habit Mentorship Program as it asks us to dig deeper and be (sometimes brutally) honest. Depending on how the first week went, we’re either continuing with our tiny habit, or building on it a bit more.


Week #2 IGTV

Week #2 “Homework”


[22:22] Week Three: Staying Focused. The goal for week three is to stay focused and keep our eye on the goal, and our heart on the intention. There’s a reason why we started this habit and it’s because we wanted to feel a certain way. The weekly call is a great support in staying accountable to the goal, and honouring the WHY.


Based on the story polls, our mock-up client is overwhelmed AF. They’re feeling slightly more balanced than week one, but still not there. This week they focused on resting, physical activity/movement. And mindfulness/intention setting. 


When asked what activities they feel most fulfilled and joy doing, their top answers were: exercise, being outside, and reading. When asked why they think they keep getting stuck with balance, they answered, need to set boundaries, lack of organization, bad at saying no, need more hours, and procrastination/laziness.


By week three if you’re not doing the work, I’m going to tell you straight up that YOU are the one who gets to make the choice. Stay stuck or grow. Because you’re reading the show notes, I’m assuming that you’re choosing growth. 


To choose growth, focus on what is working. Sprinkle in little things every day that bring you joy. CHOOSE the healthy habit, even when it’s easier not to. Change comes from the small actions every day.


Week #3 IGTV

Week #3 “Homework” 


[26:13] Week Four: Observations and Next Steps. The goal for this week is to reflect on how the last month has changed for us, and create an action plan for the month ahead.


Based on the story polls, the mockup client loved the make a habit mentorship. The observations made about themselves were that they can be too nice at their own expense, they need/like alone time, and that they’re learning to listen to their body.


The observations made about their environment was that it’s a little too chaotic and hectic. Decluttering, reorganizing, and simplifying also needs to take place. And the season is changing where evenings are darker and cooler as we move into autumn.


The one thing the client can commit to in the next 8 weeks is making time for self care such as slow mornings with intentions setting and/or taking breaks indeed of sitting at the desk a;; day and working through the day.


In the 1:1 make a habit mentorship program, this would be the best time to decide if continuing the program for another month would be beneficial to the client. If they’re comfortable on their own, the new habit to focus on for the next 4-8 weeks will be more specific to creating and honouring boundaries when it comes to work-life balance.


Getting more firm with saying “no” when you mean “no.”

Not checking emails or messages or DMs first thing in the morning, and start building out a more consistent wake up and bedtime routine so that you’re getting ample rest to have the energy for busy work days.


In this type of case study, I noticed that the content was either going to be super specific for one person, or too broad for the group, so I gave multiple options on what to focus on. The idea for this fourth week is that we’re building a custom plan that can be achieved and tracked with the client on their own, however sometimes the client needs that accountability and wants to come back in one month, or continue with the program moving forward. 


Week #4 Call

Full 28-Day Action Plan for Creating Work-Life Balance


When you’re ready to invest in your healthy habits, visit www.valerielavigneife.com/mentorship to get started. I would be happy to support you with your growth and transformation.


EPISODE BONUSES:

FULL GUIDE: Mock-up Make a Habit Mentorship Case Study

Berry Delicious Smoothie Recipe

Foundational Habits

Work-Life Balance Boundaries

Inspirational Reminder

 

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E148: How to Ebb + Flow with Our Habits
 
 

E148: How to Ebb + Flow with Our Habits

The only constant is change, here’s how we can flow with the changing of our intentions and habits…


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Welcome back to the Women’s Empowerment Podcast. I received your kind messages from last week’s episode and I am very grateful for them. If you missed it, last week I had a little teary on the show, and it was the first proper cry on a recording haha. It was about how life and our habits can be messy. Which for me last week was a real struggle. 


However, I spent the weekend at a wellness retreat with some incredible women, and I am feeling refreshed and ready for the week ahead and the exciting content that is coming up.


Which brings me to this week’s episode! We’re focusing on the ebbing, flowing, shifting, and changing of our habits. This topic was inspired by a question I received in one of my healthy habit workshops. Kaylie asked, “How can we recognize when a healthy habit is no longer serving us? When can we know it’s time to move on vs just not feeling motivated?”


How great is that question!? Immediately I thought of the age-old saying, the only constant is change, and I also thought of how my own habits have changed overtime. 


As you’re reading the show notes I encourage you to do the same. Think of the last six to twelve months. How have your habits, routines, rituals changed through the year? Or perhaps through the last couple years?


Using myself as the example I shifted from gym workouts to home workouts over the last couple years. Although this wasn’t something I was planning on doing, the workout routine evolved over the last couple years and I am now in a weekly routine/groove that I feel very happy about.


One of the reasons that the transition wasn’t so smooth was because the change was unexpected and I was forcing myself to do something that I didn’t want to do. Which brings me to our first point of how do we know it’s time to move on?... if you feel like you’re forcing the habit.


FLOW OVER FORCE

Choose flow over force. When we’re first creating our habit or new routine, there is some structure, force, intention, and discipline involved. But the whole point of building a new habit is so that eventually we DON’T have to force it to happen, and instead it happens habitually; it flows.


For myself I was forcing a workout to happen very early in the morning. I was forcing my body to wake up much earlier than it wanted to, and in the end wasn’t getting the results and the feeling that I wanted from working out. 


Think about a current habit that you are struggling with. Does it feel forced? If yes, is this because you are in the beginning stages of your habit, or some other reason?


With my example, it was another reason. Not only did my gym close, but my daily routine changed dramatically. I didn’t have to workout at 6am, in fact my body was screaming NO MORE EARLY WORKOUTS! When I went into more of a flow, I started to workout around 7am, 9am, and sometimes 10am. I recognized the importance of a morning exercise routine, but I didn’t force it to happen before 7am. Instead, I scheduled the workout in my calendar for 9am and promised myself it would start before 10am. This flexibility and fluidity has actually made me MORE consistent with my weekly workouts and I am in our home gym 3-4 times every week.


As you consider why your habits feel forced, ask yourself questions like:

  • Is there something that needs to happen before this habit?

  • Is there an alternate time in my schedule where this habit would be more successful?

  • Why specifically does this habit feel forced?


REASSESS THE INTENTION

Another reason why our habits change is because our intentions change. There is ALWAYS a reason for starting a new habit. Whether that be a long term goal we are striving for, or a feeling we want to achieve. As discussed in many of the previous episodes of the podcast, starting with intention is very important.


The intention is the why power. It’s the motivation and the fuel for doing what we do; including with our new healthy habits.


Change is inevitable, and it’s possible that the habits we’ve built will no longer serve us, because circumstances change. Relationships change, we change, our goals change!


The question to ask ourselves is: Are my habits bringing me closer to my current goals or are they halting my growth? This is why we always start with our intention, and we build out our habits around that intention.


Let’s go back to my morning workout example. During the struggle of figuring out a new routine I was finding it difficult to workout in the garage, so I opted for daily walks and a goal of 10 000 or more steps daily. The intention was to incorporate more movement into my daily routine since I wasn’t weight training at the time. 


I had lots of success with this habit, but over a few months I started to recognize a shift in my goal and intention. I no longer wanted to just create movement. I wanted to be more specific and aim for strength in my daily movement practice. This meant less steps, and more weights again. 


Consider the habit you are struggling with. Ask yourself the following questions:

  • What are my current intentions and goals?

  • Is my habit bringing me closer to my current goal, or halting my growth?

  • Is there a better habit that can bring me closer to my current intention?


When we’re in the position of feeling unmotivated or stuck with our current habit(s), it’s important to recognize that our habits change just like we do. Let go of any guilt or shame around wanting to ditch or switch the current habit(s). 


Then, get curious. Ask the questions I mentioned above, that help us better understand where and what needs to change. 


Some additional questions to support you with your intentions are:

  • What areas of my life do I need to focus on?

  • What big things are coming up this month/quarter/year?

  • What mindset and energy do I want to channel to undertake those things?


As we go through the transition process, keep track of what is working, and what’s not working. Allow this time to be fluid, and experiment with different habits or solutions that support growth.


Ooh! Reevaluating habits could be another limb of our Monthly Accountability Meeting! Or something to incorporate quarterly, or annually. This will be something that you can decide for yourself based on the timeline of your goals.

Episode 132: Behind the Scenes: My Monthly Accountability Meeting

I hope this episode helps you integrate more intentional and motivating habits. Take some time to ask and answer the questions we went through to properly understand the introspection. If you feel inspired to take your habits to the next level and invest in one-on-one support, you can contact me through my website, or sign up for the Make a Habit Mentorship Program.


Next week we’re doing a mini training on the podcast: Eliminating Overwhelm and Creating Work-Life Balance. Until then let’s connect on instagram, find me @vallavignelife

 

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

Categories

Download the FREE Dream Lifestyle Roadmap

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Health & WellnessVal LaVigne
E147: Life is Messy, and so Are Our Habits
 
 

E147: Life is Messy, and so Are Our Habits

A little episode, with a lot of love, from yours truly. Here’s what I do when life and my habits get hella messy…


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You're listening to the Women's Empowerment Podcast Episode 147 Oh my goodness, I cannot believe that I'm saying it's almost episode 150 Episode 147 I feel like I need to give myself a big pat on the back because my friends, we are growing this podcast so incredibly wonderfully organically and just really wholly and authentically and all the leads that I can think of right now.

This week's episode is a little bit different. I am doing this very off the cuff. And I'm going to be straight up honest with you guys that life has been really tough for me in the last little while.

I was emotional this morning so I'm not sure if I'm going to be emotional right now so I apologize if I sound a little nasally or my voice cracks up a bit, but I wasn't sure if I could record this podcast episode today because of how kind of sad, I've been feeling and how I'm just not okay, I've been, if I'm being completely honest, I've been feeling very heavy. My heart feels like it's breaking often.

And I don't want to explain it on the show, I don't want to talk about it here I don't want to get into it here that's not why I'm telling you this, I'm telling you this because I've built this show, and my brand on being authentic and being real and being honest and the whole reason why habits came to be part of our the main part of my coaching and as it is right now is because I have these small seemingly insignificant and I mean, seemingly, but they are incredibly significant small actions that I do daily. And I really feel them now more than ever before, of how important, how significant they really are. When I'm struggling. So, a couple of notes I guess you could say, one, when you are building new habits to be completely compassionate with yourself, and all the things that are happening in your life. it's not meant to be perfect every day it's meant to be a little bit messy and it's going to be. It's meant to be. However, you need it to be. However, it needs to be, but it will help you over time and I think the thing that really breaks my heart the most is when I see people or when I'm coaching with people and they think, you know, they avoid me because they didn't do the work that week or they are embarrassed to tell me that they didn't do whatever the habit every single day, or you know, they'll say something like well I didn't do my workout in this morning so it's a write off for the rest of the day and trust me, my hand is up right now, I have been there I have felt that in fact this morning I pushed my workout off for 90 minutes I kept moving into my calendar or Cal two and 15 minutes, okay 30 more minutes of emails, okay 15 more minutes of this okay 15 more minutes of that 90 minutes later I'm like, oh my god Valerie if you don't do your workout now when is it going to get done just go and do it.

And you know I really thought about doing that with the podcast episode today too and I thought okay well I can record this later. And you know what, my emotions weren't changing later was coming sooner and sooner so I just decided you know what, let's get on this now, let's do this right here, right now it's a little different, but that's okay because life is messy. Habits are messy.

And as much as I love to talk about so many positive things and I really like to flip the switch and really show you that there is a positive perspective there is a silver lining in literally everything.

And as much as I wholeheartedly and truly believe that. I have to have very tough goals and tough times and I feel like this one's a little bit tricky for me to get out of that being said I have definitely created a lot more boundaries and, and I've really stuck to myself care so that's another little tip or a little note that I want to talk about today is that, you know when the going gets tough. There's that saying when the going gets tough, the tough gets going and I used to really believe that, and really work at that I would say okay well this is tough but I'm tougher, this is hard but I'm harder I'm stronger I'm faster I'm whatever it needs to be to get through this and I wasn't really allowing myself to feel because feelings are meant to be felt emotions are meant to be felt. And what I started doing instead was I flipped the switch in a different way. And when I saw that things were going to be really busy in my schedule when I know that, you know times are tough right now and I really need that extra self care. That's what I'm doing I'm plugging in way more meantime I'm making sure that I am more strict with my boundaries around work and emails, and what I'm saying yes to. I am saying no before I even say yes or I'm saying, I will get back to you at the time that's convenient for me and if that time doesn't work for you then. I'm sorry but this is that it's a no. Right, so.

So because I know that this is a little bit of a tougher time I've actually scheduled some time away so yesterday I came back from a weekend trip with my boyfriend Craig, some of you will have met him through the podcast, not too, not too far back, but Craig and I went away for for the weekend we did a little road trip we've been doing one every year, and it kind of celebrates our, our relationship together it's our second year anniversary very exciting.

So we were able to unplug and be in nature and enjoy, and honestly, I felt so amazing to be away and to just unplug for that time. I'm also going to be doing something similar. This weekend coming up, I'm going to be spending time on a women's wellness retreat where I will also be unplugging or I will also be kind of relaxing and tuning in was with some like minded people and just kind of doing different things than what I would normally do. So, why am I telling you all this because it's part of building, and being adaptable and also connecting with ourselves because, why am I so keen on helping people build healthy habits, it's because I want to help you create the best version of you I want to help you create a life that you love, even on the days that it's really hard, and instead of me saying, I have to work out today I have to do a podcast today have to go teach today. I am saying, I get to do a podcast today I get to teach today I get to work out today. I think of all the things that I'm grateful for. I'm so grateful for my health, that I'm able to sweat it out in those workouts this morning, like I did today I'm so grateful that I get to share my voice, I get to feel heard and seen through this podcast I mean we have over 44,000 downloads. I can't like can you just believe that I mean I'm like trying to wrap my head around it and I just feel so grateful for this, and I remember that, you know, setting a little intention every single day, and showing up for my community. Every day, or at least every week, multiple times a week, I should say, and being able to, to say that over the last eight years I have had healthy habits that have helped me create the Pilates studio that I've always wanted the brick and mortar studio that I've been able to create any Yes. It's hard, and you see the highlights on Instagram and on social media, and yes I strive to make this podcast as positive as possible but Frank, it is frickin hard sometimes. And I think I shared this not last week but the week before how it's been tough. It's been really tough, and without these health healthy habits without these daily actions. I don't know where I would be, and I feel like. It breaks my heart to even think about where it would be without them, where I would be without this show without all of all of the things that I do every day, all the people that I get to be around every single day. So I hope this episode is more of a little quickie inspirational reminder to let you know that if you are feeling down or sad, or burdened or heartbroken that this too shall pass. I know we could roll her eyes how many times we heard that, but even those good times pass too. So, really, whether you are elated and overjoyed and extremely happy I want you to sit with that and just know that this too shall pass so drink in every second of this, and if you're feeling quite the opposite, as I was this morning I also want you to remember that this too shall pass and it's not going to be like this forever.

It's not, it's not going to be like this forever.

We're gonna do something with me right now I want you to place your hand on your heart and take a deep breath and feel that heartbeat is my friend, is your purpose, your heart is a muscle, within your body and its habit is to beat every single day, every second of the day it is to beat, beat that tiny little heartbeat is what is keeping you here and now and alive in this life.

In this moment, is what has connected you and I together your heart, your soul, you're listening to this podcast episode today for a reason, not just to hear me ramble on.

But to be reminded of your power, your purpose, your strength, your grace.

Breathe into your heart space and know that you are not alone.

Know that you are okay.

know that you have a purpose.

And even though, life gets hard, like, really hard sometimes.

You were meant to be here.

You are loved, and you are heard.

You are wanted.

Breathe into that space for as long as you possibly need.

And whatever little tiny habit, you can do today and every day, or most days. I want you to know that that little habit is not for nothing. It is not insignificant to wake up and just think how do I want to feel today.

It is not insignificant for you to place your hand on your heart, and breathe into that space every day.

It is not insignificant for you to drink water, or to go for a walk, or to say no, or to take time for yourself.

I want you to do all of those things as often as you need to.

I think in the next upcoming weeks we're going to talk more about some more tangible things kind of like what we're usually talking about.

Perhaps we'll talk about how our habits, and flow and grow and change just like we do.

My friends, if you're not already following me on social media, please find me at Val Levine life on Instagram, I would be so happy to connect with you on a more personal level over there.

I also want to let you know that I'm doing something called mock up, make a habit mentorship and it's a case study this month that takes you behind the scenes into the Make a habit mentorship program. If you listen to the show, you might have already heard of this program before.

For those of you who don't know the maker habit mentorship program is my one on one customized coaching program that I do. The information is at Valerie living life.com forward slash mentorship. However, if you just want a sneak peek at what it's all about. Definitely follow along on Instagram with us we're into Week Three now out of four. So even though we're wrapping up in the next couple of weeks. What I would like to invite you to do is check out the igtv videos, the posts surrounding that make a habit mentorship mock up program I'm also going to make a guide for it to be easier, accessible, or more accessible on Instagram for you but whether you are ready to take the leap and invest in your own self, in your own one on one coaching with me or whether you just need a little bit more softness and some reminders and gentle reminders.

Please visit my Instagram page, and feel free to reach out to me at any time.

I will be more than happy to, to chat with you. If you are new to the show, please know that the episodes are very different from today, however I'm sure I'm going to be popping in here. Once in a blue moon. Actually, today's a full moon now that I think about it of this recording I'm doing this on a, on a full moon, no wonder the emotions are high. That being said, take a look at some of the other episodes or have a listen to some of the other episodes.

I'm sending you so much love, and thank you for holding space for me today to speak. My heart and my truth.

Maybe some waterworks and other times, I am so grateful for each and every one of you listening, And I just have to say that this show really got me out of bed tomorrow, this morning. Oh, here, here we go, here come the crackles this show really was a huge part of getting me out of bed this morning so I appreciate each and every one of you who has downloaded the show, and has reached out to me whether that's on Instagram or via email to tell me how much this has affected your life and your well being.

It means so much to me

more than I could even express in words.

So… from my whole beating heart thank you so much. Thank you.

 

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E146: Healthy Can Be Simple
 
 

E146: Healthy Can Be Simple with Tina Gravalos

Join Nutritionist + Recipe Creator Tina Gravalos, as she gives us easy tips to make healthy simple and delicious!


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This week’s sponsor of the Women’s Empowerment Podcast is my Make a Habit Mentorship Program. This is my exclusive 1:1 customized and personal mentorship experience that helps you build and stick to your habits and routines. The program is over four weeks, with weekly check-ins and accountability between sessions.




Make a Habit Mentorship is for you if you’re ready to be done with the cycle of habit starting and habit quitting. Make a Habit Mentorship is for you if you want to start the habits you’ve always wanted to start, overcome the limiting beliefs that make you want to quit too soon, and truly stay consistent with your goals so that you will feel healthier.




I am Valerie LaVigne, your Habit Mentor, and I’m here to hold you accountable to the new self-care habits you know will change your life. If you’re ready to invest in becoming the best version of yourself, visit www.valerielavignelife.com/mentorship today.




___________________________________________________________________________




[1:28] Valerie LaVigne: Welcome back to The Women's Empowerment Podcast. I am very excited to introduce you to Tina Gravalos! Tina is the founder of simply Tina, where she shares simple and sustainable nutrition for all lifestyles. Tina loves creating easy to follow recipes with a healthier twist that anyone can whip up. She believes that food should be enjoyed, no matter where you're at on your wellness journey. Welcome to the show. 




Tina Gravalos: Hey, thanks for having me.




VL: Yeah, it's such a pleasure to finally get to do this I know that we've been chatting about it for a little while. I love following you. I love seeing your wellness journey, your growth on Instagram, especially like the incredible food photos you take, every time I go to Instagram, I'm like, I need to eat this. I'm so hungry now. This looks delicious. Oh my goodness. Amazing. So I have to ask, How do you come up with all these incredible recipes?




TG: I get asked that all the time and sometimes people just think it's really this like complex process but I I'm really intuitive so a lot of stuff just comes from things that I love to eat or I see someone else create something and I immediately am like, oh, I can use the similar kind of recipe but tweak this this this or oh I have a better option I can add like you know a different fruit or like mix it up and so I kind of just like lean in with my intuitive side and it doesn't sound as exciting but it works.




VL: That's amazing and I love this whole simplicity, behind your brand. I mean, simply, Tina, how and I always talk about what when I talk about habits like how can we simplify it, how can we make it easy. How can we make being healthier and nutrition and, you know, what we're eating every single day, How can we just keep it really simple, but keep it really healthy so I know that you like to talk about the basics too. Can we jump right into that?




[3:48] TG: Yeah, absolutely. So, I, my brand didn't really start out this way. It was so when I went to nutrition school I kind of thought you know I had to be this perfect nutritionist and I had to eat a certain way and I had to try all the superfoods and I had to share all that all the time and that's kind of what led me, spiraling down like a health crisis of my own. I found myself binge eating a lot of things in my car and secret, and this was during school and even afterwards as well. And I would you know Monday I'm going to start this diet or you know I'm going to drink all the water and do all the things but it did not work for me. And then one day I was just like I don't want to feel this way anymore. So I kind of just sat with myself and was like, What do I need to make me feel good, what is going to turn my health around, and I started to really go back to the basics of what nutrition is I whipped out my textbooks again and I have this one is literally like 700 pages, and it's literally called like the fundamentals of nutrition. So I went and I started reading I didn't read the whole thing because that's so I went in and just, okay, what are the basics, what do I need, what can I feel my body with, and it's basically just taking out all the complication of things and going, Okay I need protein I need healthy fats, I need carbs in each of my meals, and it doesn't have to be this like elaborate recipe every single time it can literally just be like a piece of chicken, some vegetables and rice like very simple, so I just broke everything down. That way, and I started noticing a difference right away with like my energy like I was feeling stronger, all the things and then that's where simply Tina came into play.




VL: Wow, thank you for sharing that. I think it's really powerful to hear that, especially coming from someone who is like, seen as a leader in the industry, right, and I feel that pressure to as a as a fitness teacher and as a studio owner like you have to look a certain way you have to be active all the time you have to be doing things all the time and you know they're you're human beings still.




TG: Exactly, exactly.




VL: And the pressure doesn't make it easier, that's for sure so good for you for sitting with yourself, and you know really having that compassionate conversation with yourself and recognizing that, hey, this isn't where I want to be, but you also have the tools to change that, and you did it!




TG: You didn't change that so it wasn't easy but there was a you know there was a lot of two steps backwards type thing one step forward, two steps like a lot of that, a lot of tears. A lot of you trying to explain things to like my family and my friends and they were just like, Oh, you're fine. It's okay, and like, not a lot of people understood and just a constant battle of all the, all the elements.




[7:09] VL: Well, that is a massive courageous leap that you've taken so I really want to acknowledge that first and foremost, and it does lead me to questions for people who maybe don't have the tools or the, you know, maybe, maybe they're not there with the mindset yet, and they don't have that same courage so do you have any advice in terms of like the the mindset and the emotions and like the mental health piece of you're going into those physical changes like actually changing what you're eating.




TG: Um, I think the thing that helped me the most was setting intentions for, like, every area of my life, and instead of saying okay, you know, I, you know a lot of people they make New Year's resolutions and it's like I'm going to run every single day, but they don't run, they never run so they set themselves up already for failure. 




What helped me was setting the intentions okay I want to feel stronger I want to feel energized, you know, I want to get better sleep, all these things so what I did was I took those intentions and was like okay well what can I do to make all of those things happen. So, the stronger part could be well I'm going to go for a walk, twice a week maybe started off twice a week, or the Energize piece I'm gonna start incorporating more like vegetables and this and that into my meal so I started very small like that instead of making these huge goals that once you you know you make those and you fail and you just don't want to do it again, and you go into this like cycle of the same kind of thing. 


That was pretty much the driving force for me around changing everything and also not listening to everything else around me, because there's so many things, it's like, eat this. Don't eat that, or do this, don't do that, my friends eating kale, but like when I eat kale I feel terrible like it's just, you really have to focus on what's good for you and run with it.




VL: You and I are living a parallel life! [laughs].




We always talk about intention. Well, not always but we often talk about intention on this podcast and how important it is to be intentional when you're creating a new habit when you're setting a goal, and it's not so much like, I want this goal I want to run, or I want to, it's I want to feel. It's how do you feel, and why do you want to feel that way. And, you know, as you're describing it in your own experience, I'm thinking about like, yeah, that's how I started back into my workout routines, it was, it wasn't like one day woke up and was like, 




Yeah, I should probably get back to working out at 5:30 in the morning again, it was okay you know what, something needs to change. I need to add more movement. I was feeling really low about not being able to lift heavy weights that I used to really like it changed a lot, but you know a lot happens in a year when you're not at working out, And it started with walking every day and just a little bit more every single day, and once I hit those 10,000, steps a day like that was my main goal. Took me two weeks to get there consistently. 




And then, you know, another month went by where I was doing that I was like okay I feel more confident in myself, not listening to anyone else exactly like what you said. And I guess this is just like another example of it but then I was like, Okay, I'm ready to workout again I'm ready to lift weights again. And it's okay and it was almost like I had to prep and prime myself with this, these little things to build that confidence that the simple walking like everyone can walk.




If they're trying to start their movement practice, you know, it's free. And then, you know, and then now I'm on like week five of lifting weights again and I'm actually tracking the weights that I'm lifting and I'm like, Finally it's starting to lift a little heavier I'm still not where I was. But yeah, I have to start somewhere and you have to you have to be like really compassionate really gentle with yourself, but still have that little push. So yeah, I'm so glad you said that because I feel like the intention piece is so it's so huge and a lot of times.




[11:51] TG: When I work with clients, it's one of the questions I asked them to have like, how do you want to feel or how do you want to show up in your life. If you have kids, like how do you want to show up for your kids and you can see like they're kind of taken aback by the question because like no one really asks me that usually with, you know some people have seen health practitioners that are just, you know, they get in there and they prescribe you with whatever it is and all that and they don't get to like the root of what's really going on or what's really going to help someone move forward.




VL: And when I have consultations with my clients and I ask them what are their goals for, whether we're training together. If they say, or if they start by saying you know I want my summer body or I need to look like this for my wedding. I can almost guarantee you that if that is your goal, that's okay, but just know that it's not sustainable, whereas if someone says, I want to show up better for my kids, I want to be able to go climb this mountain, and live this healthier lifestyle. That is a lasting intention that God has an intention that creates lasting change. So asking those deeper questions really gets the wheels turning so that's amazing that you that you offer this with your clients.




And when people are working with you, so you are mentioning that, you know, it's the intentions of not just the nutrition side of it, you were talking about how, like, when you were looking at it how do you want to feel in different areas of your life and you just kind of gave an example of asking your clients, how do you want to feel with your kids around your kids. So what are some other kind of areas of life or other questions that we can maybe ask ourselves, as we're figuring out our intention.




TG:I would say about gratitude like going back to what are you grateful for every single day, like what do you when you wake up in the morning, what's like your first thought if someone says to you, the word gratitude. So, I find that if you can set up a practice like that like a gratitude practice and ask that question in the morning and even at night to like I do both, but it helps to.




It helps to set the tone to for like what you want in your life like sometimes I'll wake up and I'm just, I'm grateful for this body that you know, I, that allows me to wake up in the morning to get out of bed and all those things. And I find that it helps it trickles down into everything really.




VL: Yeah, that's amazing and I've actually spoken to you about this before, but you have an abundance journal, and abundance practice can you share a little bit more about what this is and maybe how we can create our own abundance practice? 




[14:47] TG: Yeah I get so excited I talked about this. I started this, I want to say I think it was January or at the end of last year and I just one day was, I think I saw something that kind of triggered this thing in me to start writing about things like happening, day to day So, literally, it could be something like, I found this parking spot in front of the restaurant that I'm going to or somebody bought me a coffee or I, you know, went out for lunch with my mom and she bought me lunch like little things like that.




So I started writing it and it's not like I don't sit there and write like pages and pages it's literally I'll write the date and I'll say like one little like bullet point of whatever it is.




And then I started noticing these cool like shifts in my life where I would rate the abundance part, be grateful for what happened and then cool opportunities are coming, like I would get a new work opportunity or I would get something else for free.




A company wanted to send me something that I really enjoy little things like that and I look back at it, like daily now to from the beginning of January and it's so cool to see it evolve, and all you need is literally a notebook, and just a pen, or you can even do it in your phone if you want, and you'll see like a huge difference in your life a guarantee it. I'm gonna stamp that approval, I guarantee you that you'll notice a difference.




VL: I want 100% agree and I have done this before but I will I use it as like a gratitude journal but really it is like, I'm grateful for so much abundance in my life. And at first, I promise you I rolled my eyes! “This is so dumb, whatever”




This is so dumb, like whatever, I'll try anything like whatever like I'll try it I guess. And I joke about that with people and I was like, listen, I know it sounds all crazy. Yeah, but it freakin works, and I think it was within two weeks, which is not that long of a time, to be honest, huge shifts Yeah, my mood was incredibly different. The things that were being attracted into my life like or that I was attracting into my life like it was so amazing. And you notice that like that one bullet point, turns into three bullet points, and then there's four bullet points and then five and then you're like, Oh my God, I need a new piece of paper because so many things I'm grateful for today, and yeah it's really amazing and I will definitely also say, I guarantee it. 



TG: And as someone who would again roll their eyes but, yeah, definitely roll their eyes which is so funny, but another cool thing is, so I started also. So like in order to like receive your, it's nice to give as well so I want a recently put in my story, Starbucks gift card and I said, whoever wants to get a coffee like coffee's on me literally that same date, so I play roulette sometimes on the oil g website for anyone in Ontario. And I was just playing like It's like my guilty pleasure. I won $550 And I was like, oh, cool like abundance, so that was really, that was so amazing I remember I measured that and I was like, I love like guilty pleasure I feel like it's so why should I need to ask everybody now.



I'm like, roulette. Like what, oh my god I love it when you, when you said that on, on Instagram and your stories I was like wait what. Yeah, I was very surprised but I loved it. That was so much fun.



VL: I mean you offer, like I said you offers so many great tips and tools and practices and recipes. I mean, everything, like I feel like you do it all. How do you do it?



TG: Oh man, I wish I had a clone some times. I just, I'm really, really passionate about what I do and ever since switching my brand to simply Tina and getting into more of the recipe development side, I just, I love love love love what I do and I feel it I can do it for hours on end and the time just goes by so quickly, but I, what I really love is when people messaged me thanking me for sharing a simple recipe or just a simple tip, whatever it is that I get so emotional sometimes because I just want everyone to feel amazing and you know the way I take my photos too I try to make it simple like how I just replayed it and just instead of having so many different things around the photo like obviously those pictures are beautiful you see online but sometimes you make the recipe, it doesn't look anything like the photo so I tried to do it that way and so I think entice people to, to make this stuff and make it approachable.



VL: That's what I was gonna say you definitely make it approachable and exciting, and like I just find when I go to your, your photos I'm like, It's fun, it's fresh, it's exciting. Like, I get excited about food for people listening who are thinking like, Oh, totally inspired to simplify! What would you say is this the best place for them to start?



[20:41] TG: I have this thing called “My Feel Good Kitchen” but I just randomly came up with, But it's basically the process of, you know, going to the grocery store, and literally just going in with opening an open mind and kind of scanning the aisles and seeing what you're called to sort of so if it's like broccoli or whatever it is you can, you know, go in and look at it and just really like think about, okay, like what can I do with this, what can I do that I would actually enjoy like I, there's so many vegetables that you're underrated and everything that people just seem them and like it doesn't taste great but like there's so much you can do. 



And I find like people get discouraged with the taste of things so it's like, what can you bring to that broccoli like what flavors do you love. So if it's like garlic or like onion powder, whatever it is like just kind of think about it in a way that you enjoy, and literally take it from there and then it's even the whole process at home, like the whole cooking aspect and like cutting everything the way you like it and, you know, putting in the pan, the way you like it and the plating aspect and sitting down to eat it like it is just a whole, like, a whole thing from the beginning to the end and I, I like to talk to clients about that like just go to the grocery store like just literally browse, they're like yeah but you know I don't like this, like so don't pick that Pick something you like, it's like really that really that simple.



VL: I like this, like, kind of like a ritual, right, like you're going in, you're allowing yourself to just be intuitive. I mean, I am definitely someone who comes in with a little bit more like the masculine energy. When it comes to this kind of thing I'm like okay, I've got my list.



But I am the person in our house who does the grocery shopping, I typically make the meal or at least I prep them or organize them however, so I'm going to put you on the spot here, and maybe you can help me.



So I love brussel sprouts



TG: I love them too girl!



VL: But my partner Craig doesn’t like them. But I want to be eating brussel sprouts. So, sometimes they'll eat them. When I make, so maybe like some ideas about what I can do with make them yummier.



TG: You can either make them into chips, so they're like crispy so I will like I'll cut them off but then I just rip off like the leaves, and then I will either put it out on my hand and with like just like olive oil like salt and pepper or you can even add garlic in there, but you can do it in the oven too to get them prosphere And like literally they'll. They're crunchy like chips so that could be something you could try, or even, I don't know if you guys eat bacon or anything but you could whip it up with bacon on the pants so delicious that way,



VL: MMMM That sounds good! I never thought of that!



INSTAGRAM | @simplytinag



WEBSITE | www.simplytina.ca



Check out her website for offerings, virtual workshops, recipes, and nutrition consulting.



VL: I really wanted to say that, like, I wanted to acknowledge you for bringing to the table. I like to bring into the episode that you know the journey really has a lot to do with the mindset and the emotion, and more of the rest of your life. Even though I'm such a foodie too! I'll eat just about anything or I'll try to rephrase it that way.



But, you know, there, there are a lot of different, I guess, voices, online, or heard growing up for that we're coming into contact with her we're like, do we listen to you. We follow and really like keep saying, you know, tap into your own intuition, connect with what you saw something really cool yesterday someone shared with me like I started making my to do list as things I want to do things I have to do and are things I don't want to do. And then the last thing was things people want me to do other people.



And I thought, Wow, that's so cool and then they said something along the lines of, I don't usually even get to that third part of what other people want to do much happier that way.



And I think that's so important is to like be so self aware that you just keep reconnecting with you and what your body needs and what your, what you want, and what makes you feel good, I don’t like kale either.



TG: Yeah it's honestly it's not the best like it's really not that great and to be honest, kale started off as like garnish on the lake. Thank you. It's not like says the nutritionist I'm like listen, and also kale, is like not great for your body. So I mean, we could ditch the kale. I always tell people my kale, that stuff is for the, the, the dressing in the deli window. 



VL: Yeah exactly, it's just sitting as decoration, that's not real food. Yeah.That's so funny. I love that. I always tell people it's like the diva green because you have to massage, you, you do you got to get in there with like the olive oil is a whole, whole thing. Please don't get massages every time I'm treating the kale better than my own body here.



Okay, my dear, we have a final rapidfire segment. But before we jump into it, I want to ask you if there's anything else you need to hear. Before we jump in?



TG: I'm just gonna say that. You got this to people, whoever is listening to this, and if you want to make the changes like you got this, just literally run with it. It's my line, “run with it, run with it.”



RAPID FIRE

1. What are you currently reading? What’s your favourite book?



I'm actually not reading anything, I am a super nerd and I read my nutrition books like that's, that's what I'm doing. Sounds exciting. No, that's great. I mean, like I said you're a leader, you're a teacher, you know, you need to keep educating yourself.



I gotta keep up with the trends.



2. What do you love most about being a woman?



What do I love about being a woman. I feel like about being like fearsome like strong and empowered and really talked about that already, but I feel like that is just associated with being a woman like it's just so many components of that and we've been through a lot of stuff in our day.



3. What does empowerment mean to you?



Empowerment means that. Oh man, a lot of things but I feel like I've set boundaries for myself, and sticking to those boundaries and not letting other external things get in the way of my life purpose and all the things that I love doing.



4. What are you currently working toward?



I really want to have my own studio where I can have a kitchen and a little store in there and do all of my food photography and stuff there so I'm really pushing to get that done.



VL: Well, this was an absolute blast, you are so hilarious. I'm just so happy that you are following this incredible passion of yours, and you do amazing work for people, and like I said, following your journey in the beginning you mentioned that you have grown in such a beautiful way and the way that you share that with people is so approachable. Yeah like that simplicity. It's refreshing, and I feel like there's so much heaviness expectation, you know, mixed messaging. You teach, and you read, inspire in such a whole, beautiful and amazing way so people need to follow you, they need to chat with you!

 

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E145: Reset Your Healthy Habits
 
 

E145: Reset Your Healthy Habits

When life comes at you like a ton of bricks to the chest, reset your Healthy Habits. Here’s how to do it with compassion…


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[1:32] Welcome back to the Women’s Empowerment Podcast, I’m your host Valerie LaVigne. I have to be honest and share that my energy isn’t as excitable and upbeat as it usually is while recording my podcast episodes. So if this is your first time listening to the show, please know that the tone is generally more positive and a little livelier. 

As always, I do my best, and some days that means showing up even if it’s not glitter and gold, it’s me and it’s authentic. 

If you never miss an episode you might notice that this particular episode is coming out one week late. Yep. Last week was the first week I hadn’t published an episode since starting this podcast a few years ago. 

I had a lot of guilt, shame, worry, frustration around this and eventually I let it go. I was able to surrender to the fact that an episode wasn’t coming out because my mental and emotional health needed my attention more than my weekly podcast did. 

Yes my friends, your Healthy Habit coach has been having a really hard time coping with life lately and even though I practice daily intention setting, gratitude, mindfulness, and physical wellness - the weight I am carrying on my shoulders feels a lot heavier than what I can currently handle.

Why am I telling you this?

A few reasons actually. Firstly, life is fucking hard. Owning a business is also really fucking hard. And right now both of those things are weighing very heavy on me. So heavy that I’ve come to the realization that I need a reset. 

In the past several weeks I have hit tipping point, after breaking point, after burnout, and so on. And last week I finally said, “I’m done.” My body is done. My mind is done. My heart is breaking and I need to stop before it’s too late. And it already feels a little too late. 

So that’s the bad news. BUT as always, I do find the positive in everything so here’s the good news:

I’m not alone in the way that I’ve been feeling. I’ve had quite a few conversations within my instagram community over @vallavignelife and we’ve been chatting about a collective low energetic vibration as well as how not a lot of people are sharing the hard part of running businesses. Which is also why I am sharing this with you.

They told us not to judge books by their covers, well don’t judge businesses by their social media accounts either!

Not only am I not alone in this, but I also have an extended toolkit with the power to help myself and others elevate their vibration and their habits. 

Which is why today,  I’m teaching you how to build a strategy and take ACTION to reset your habits and get back on track and feel better in your body. 

If you’re feeling anything like I am, this episode is for you dear one. 

[6:33] Before we begin, I encourage you to take an entire day off in your calendar to really hit reset. If you can take multiple days off in a row, do that. It doesn’t mean you have to go away for those days, but actually take a proper day off work/life. 

I’ll use myself as an example as I blocked off Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday off in my calendar. Here’s how it looked:

Friday I worked from 9:30am - 12:30pm with a 60 minute break for exercise in between that 3 hour work sprint. I spent the better part of the day cooking new food which I love, and eating with my family and catching up with each other.

Saturday, my partner Craig and I often sleep in (relative for us) and head to the farmer’s market. This time we bought so much fresh produce and flowers. Supporting local businesses and farms, spending time outside, and fresh cut flowers make me very happy and fill my cup. After breakfast we explored a new hiking path together and ended up at this beautiful river and spent time enjoying the sun and the peaceful sounds of the forest. Later we played board games and swam, and relaxed again at home.

On Sunday I went grocery shopping for any other food we need (that we didn’t already get from the market) for the week - this is something I do every week and technically it’s a chore), but it didn’t feel like one because it’s more of a ritual for me as I enjoy this alone time and choosing healthy foods to incorporate into our meals for the week ahead.

I also did 30 minutes of emails and some podcast work Sunday. 

Self care elevates our mood, increases energy, boosts immunity and makes life a lot easier to handle. So does balance and rest. 

I’m going into detail with this because I want you to see how taking time off can be making time to do something different, or it can be making time to do NOTHING. We didn’t schedule anything in. If you know that specific tasks NEED your attention and NEED to get done, then allow 30-120 minutes per day to get those tasks done. Delegate the rest. 

[10:17] Speaking of “rest,” take some. The weekend I took off I went to bed relatively early and I didn’t set any alarms to wake up. Believe it or not I woke up a bit early but I felt SO rested when I woke up because I wasn’t waking up with an alarm. I really prioritized rest, and the only goals I set for myself were to stick to work boundaries and to sleep as much as my body needed to.


Your body heals when you are sleeping. Take time to rest, recharge… and now… we can RESET!


I always aim to make the content on the podcast as tangible as possible, so here is how we reset our habits when we break it down into steps.

[11:25] Step One: Rest & Recharge with Compassion

We’re all doing our best, so take a moment to breathe and give yourself some grace. It’s okay, we’re going to be okay.

If you can’t take a full day off, make a point of scheduling in some downtime into your calendar. Time-block your self-care, even if you can manage 1 hour a day. (P.s. 1 hour is 4% of your day, you can definitely manage that). Once you’ve put it in your calendar DO NOT MOVE IT. You have to take time to rest. No excuses. 


[12:10] Step Two: Come back to Your Core Values

In episode 111 of the podcast we talked about creating habits based on core values. What were the core values you outlined in this episode? There are countless resources for understanding your core values, but they really come into play with a lot of the components of my Coaching practice as well as in many episodes of this show.

Core Values are our fundamental beliefs and guiding principles. Everyone will have a different list of core values, and everyone’s core values will mean something different to them.

One of my core values is ADVENTURE. To me this means worldly travel, but it also means trying new things, getting out of my comfort zone, meeting new people, experiencing different cultures and traditions, exploring nature, and more!

CREATIVITY is another core value of mine. To me this means doing things differently. It also represents innovation and expansion; turning something old into something new; seeing different viewpoints; experimenting.

Write out each of your core values, and include a definition or personal meaning for each of them. Once you have your list, you’ll be able to move to the next step.

[13:36] Step Three: Start Where You Are

Take stock of your current habits (both good and bad habits), and make note of the ones you want to change (eliminating bad habits), and/or perhaps you want to improve (make good habits better).

[13:57] Step Four: Reset by Replacing Old Habits with New Habits

If you’re not already writing out your Core Values in a notebook or on a piece of paper, then get it out now. I’d like you to make a three column chart.

Column One: write “Old Habit”, in Column Two: write “Core Values”, and in the Third Column: write “New Habit”


Here are my examples:

#1 My current bad habit is that I’ve been procrastinating on my daily walks because they’re a bit boring and I’m so exhausted that I’d rather lay on the couch with my legs up the wall. 

Core Value: Adventure

New Habit: instead of a daily walk, I schedule a weekly hike. As we head into the autumn season it will be so beautiful to watch how the leaves change colours and explore some new trails. 


#2 Another bad habit I have is eating chocolate late in the evening/snacking before bed.

Core Value: Creativity

New Habit: replace late night snacking with a different indulgence like a warm cup of tea, or a relaxing bubble bath and a good book. Opt for self-care like a gua sha face massage or a cooling sheet mask.


[15:14] Here are some extra tips I wanted to share with you when it comes to resetting your habits.

TIP #1: If you aren’t sure where to start, focus on foundational habits like food/nutrition, rest/sleep, and mindset. Sometimes the best resets come from when we reboot our foundational habits, TRUST ME: a good sleep goes a long way!


TIP #2: Make the new habits teeny-tiny! This will make them easier to achieve and will help rebuild your motivation and confidence. You can scale your habits little by little and watch the exponential progress toward your goal. Remember that a tiny step forward is still a step forward.

TIP #3: If you’re really stuck on eliminating bad habits, relisten to episode 138: Eliminating Bad Habits


TIP #4: Always begin with compassion. Step one of the reset doesn’t just apply here, it applies along the way. We all know that it takes time to build, and rebuild our habits - especially if your bad habits have become very automated since it’s easier for us to lose sight of our healthier habits. Do your best, and if you miss a day, reset the next day.


TIP #5: Remember the Core Value behind your healthy habit. This is your “why power” for doing what you do. When your habit is value-driven, it’s more satisfying and you are more likely to do it.


TIP #6: Plan for challenging situations and obstacles. Don’t play like you aren’t going to come up against some sort of pushback. We are our own worst enemies. What could go wrong? No really… ask yourself, what could go wrong AND how will I avoid or overcome this?

TIP #7: Stack habits. This means adding a small habit to something you’re already doing each day. For example, take your vitamins when you eat breakfast. Drink 500ml of water before you have a cup of coffee.

TIP #8: Track habits. Whether it’s your bullet journal, an app on your phone, a sticker in your notebook, or checking off a date in your calendar, figure out a way to keep track of your success with your habit. 

Hold me accountable for my new healthy habits, and I’ll hold you accountable for yours over on instagram, find me @vallavignelife !


If you are having a hard time coping right now, please reach out to me. I would love to connect with you more and hold space for what you are going through. I know the pain and the pressure and I know how hard times can be. 

You are loved, you are here for a reason, you have a purpose on this planet. Focus on the small, seemingly insignificant habits that you do daily, and I guarantee your life will change. There is power in baby steps and tiny actions. Start today!

 

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E144: Intimacy Rituals
 
 

E144: Mindful Intimacy with Viv Kan

From Yoni anatomy, to intimacy rituals with ourselves, and with our partners, Viv teaches us so much incredible wisdom…


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[1:32] Valerie LaVIgne: Welcome back to The Women's Empowerment Podcast. I am very excited to welcome Viv Kan today to the show. This is a mindfulness coach who helps busy individuals transform their intimate relationships by connecting the mind, body, breath, and yoni. Our mission is to help women and couples deepen their connection with the self and others through normalizing and educating the practice of mindful intimacy, pleasure and desire. I love all of that, I think this is so amazing.



And I have to say, I, I know I've mentioned this to you before, but I love the way you approach this topic, I love the, the gentleness, the femininity, the, the care behind your, your approach and your business so I need to know because, so let me backtrack, let me backtrack a lot I'm getting excited, Viv and I met at our mindfulness, health coaching training.



Four years ago now four years I want to say?



Viv Kan: yeah, yeah, 



VL: we met in Mexico. It's been a while since we both been coaches for a while, so I love seeing the people from our program and seeing how they've taken this mindful health coaching.



I will probably all have that same kind of foundational education but we've done our own thing in a different way. So, as you know, I'm habits coach I talk about healthy habits, and you work with this mindful intimacy, so I need to know how did we get to this point.



VK: How much time do we have?



VL: As much time as you take it. Coles notes is good too.



VK: Yeah, coles notes version. Well okay first of all thank you for having me. And it's so good to be here on your podcast I'm honored. And I love just seeing what you've done, and you're such an inspiration as well so let's just get started with that. And for the audience who are listening as a mindfulness coach to start.



I started helping corporate individuals, and also corporate wellness in terms of employees and I noticed that, okay, you really want to perform very well at work you want to be efficient and want to be productive, killing it up work careers going good. All right, so then you give so much on your of your energy at work and then you get home and you are completely depleted, and I can really experience this myself, when I was in a corporate environment before I became a mindfulness coach that I was just at zero battery. When I got home, and the relationships we have in our life and the quality of those relationships really help determine the quality of our well being. Overall, so yes great relationship at work could be pretty good. But what about your personal relationships, and the fact that I see people get so disconnected between their minds and our bodies. It is a whole phenomenon. Now, we are constantly stimulated in all these other ways in our minds and getting constantly distracted losing our focus can't concentrate. Even sensations in the body and tension in the body, we tend to ignore.



And so when we get home, we have that 1% of battery left for ourselves, and left for our partners and left with our families. And that is a big issue. So it really started with that and understanding that's the disconnect really happening in our personal lives. Effects are holistic wellbeing.



[5:38] VL: Wow. Yeah, I mean, I feel like, wow, yeah, I mean, I feel like that's all very true for a lot of people.



Definitely I think that this, we live in a time that the work is very prioritized, I would say. And you know, you are expected to be that high level employee or coworker or boss or whatever your role is in the workplace, I'm doing air quotes workplace. And you're right, like, yes, there's an abundance of energy in the world. Yes, people are burnt out, they're feeling that depletion and who really suffers not only yourself, but the people in your home and your partner. So,



this is so important for a lot of people, a lot of women as well. Yeah, I think women, so just like pulling out women now, the expectation goes beyond. Now we have to work even harder in the workplace. Yet, we were also expected to also be that maternal partner Mother, you know homemaker, whatever the case may be, there is even more of an expectation. So, yeah, yeah, you're hitting the nail on the head. 



VK: Yeah and I love that you emphasize women, because when we have this amazing career, and we want to obviously be self-sufficient, independent financially stable, as a woman.



There is a lot of masculine energy. There's a lot of masculine energy. A little bit of the aggressiveness in our career. 



We're going really fast pace, especially, you know I'm in Hong Kong, so this is a very busy city. It's a busy city that doesn't stop. And there's all this masculine energy that we are putting on ourselves and we're putting out into the world. And so you get to work. You have a whole day at work, and then you might pick up the groceries, and they have to maybe prepare dinner and then maybe clean, and then when you get home and get into bed, then you're supposed to be this. Sex Kitten in bed and supposed to tap miraculously tap into your feminine energy, and I'm not saying that masculine energy is not good for females because we need masculine energy in our life. However, feminine energy and I love vow that you pose a lot of feminine and masculine energy I love that content that you post, we need a balance, right, and I know you can vouch for that masculine feminine energy needs to have a bit of a balance but with what we are trying to achieve in our lives. Most of the time, the masculine energy dominates and it's hard for us to then tap into that feminine energy softening into that energy slowing down, getting more sensual feeling the sensations of our body breathing, loving, opening. And I think a lot of times people have lost that touch in our lives. 



[8:55] VL: Mm hmm. Yeah, thank you for saying that I do like to share about creating a balance, and I think it actually stems from the sort of looking for preventative, so it's like the preventative way of not leading to burnout, and that's through balance. So, you know, there's, there are times when our energy might be overly feminine, and that actually can be really slow, and you know, there is like lack of clarity in the goal, right so there's room for like what you said both masculine and feminine energy so I love that, that we're talking about that today. Now, I've got to be honest, I feel like you're going to jump right into it. This is not a topic so first of all, I'm so excited that you're here because you are the first guest that I've had on the show to talk about intimacy, and I, I don't think that I talked about this enough, even with my own, you know, personal friend network like I, I don't hear this conversation enough and I feel like there are a lot of taboo conversations out there that are becoming a little bit more normal. For example, money, money, I find is becoming a little bit more of a normal conversation especially with women. But I don't hear this as much. And I don't know why that is and maybe you can share why this conversation seems to be so taboo. How can we have these conversations with our friends, how can we normalize this?



VK: So, the reason could be partly, you know from a lot of research and, as, as a female growing up. What did we learn in sex ed. I mean I, we, we both grew up in Canada right so we learned in sex ed, at least in Canada, how to not get STDs or STI, how to not get pregnant. How to put on a condom, and maybe a little bit of our menstrual cycle, but that's pretty much it.



We didn't learn the pleasure centers of our Yoni, which is, by the way, Yoni is the female reproductive system, and the female organs of generation, it's the Sanskrit word for a sacred womb sacred place.



VL: That’s so beautiful



VK: And we didn't before. Right. And we actually, we didn't even learn that, by the way vagina is incorrect when you want to describe the whole female reproductive system that genitals, you can't see vagina to describe the whole genitals because vagina is only internal outside is called the vulva and not a lot of people know that we say, you know we say badge. You know we say punani, We say, different, different words, different words to describe but it should be really all encompassing, which should be Yoni in Sanskrit which is the language of yoga and you know, we're both yoga teachers as well.



So, our, our sexual education going up. Wasn't that in depth, and so no one told us where the different types of erogenous zones are where the illiteracy is, is it above or below the urethra the pee hole so a lot of people even know what the urethra is.



And the fact that even for example the clitoris has 1000 nerve endings, which is almost twice as much as what a penis as which In Sanskrit we call Lingam. And so, it is also the most sensitive part of a female body. And it's the organ on the body, that is meant for pleasure. Yet no one ever teaches us that.



And so, and because there's a lack of knowledge, Val’s like yeah, uh huh



VL: I'm cringing, I'm cringing, but it's true. Like okay, I have to I have to interject, so it wasn't until I started using tampons when I was probably 16, that I realized that your pee hole, and your, your vagina, were two different things. My mom was like, Yeah, you have three those three holes.



I'm looking at this diagram in the pamphlet of when you open the box of tampons and I'm like, This was me did not learn this anywhere like even my mom didn't tell me about this, and I had just the only thing I remember from grade five, you know when they separated the boys and the girls for sex ed. I just remember how uncomfortable. The teachers were like, Oh, awkward talking to us about this, and it made it really scary. It made it really scary to to learn and I was afraid to ask questions everyone was giggling and embarrassed like. You're right. You're absolutely right about this. It all started back then. I can remember this day, so vividly anyway continue.



VK: Yeah, a lot of funny story. No and and I, You're not alone because I have the same sentiment which same experience where I, I wanted to start, start using tampons because going swimming, being more active. And I remember my mom was like don't use tampons, I was just gonna stretch your stretch your vagina out.



VL: Right, right.



VK: Yes, yes. And so I didn't, I haven't done that then I thought I was like I don't want to stretch my vagina out and I'm not going to use tampons, and then really, it got to the point where I was like, no I need to use these tampons because I need to be more active.



And it was just way more convenient and who wants to use pads nowadays. And so, like you mentioned, just looking at the diagram the pamphlet, you're like, Wait, hold on, how do I do this and I had to ask friends and the friends would be like, Oh yeah, you just put it in the applicator just stick it in and just follow up just follow that no one teaches you this stuff and so to answer your initial question of, how is it so taboo, it's because the knowledge isn't even there, and when the knowledge isn't there from school, the people that you talk to that you grew up with your girlfriends. Now, we still don't talk about it in a lot of cases, because we just don't know and what you don't know you just don't know. And if the opportunity isn't presented in your face of all this information that you can learn about, about your body, you're not going to actively seek for it, Unless you're really curious. And also there's this whole shame. Right. And, and I know about, you know, I talked to you before, even about our bodies, about exposing a little bit of skin about wearing something a little bit more short. 



VL: I remember growing up just wearing something, I showed my midriff about, you know, to two fingers like two inches one inch of my midriff was just shameful, close your left, showing too much skin all the boys gonna look at you, you're, you're getting too much attention. So why am I forgetting. Well that's the thing I'm writing a spaghetti strap talk right now, but it's a measure.



And if it wasn't two fingers, and then the next year it was three fingers and it was like just give us a uniform if you're going to do this like so, a girl at my in my class in elementary school. She had her midriff showing to the point where it was like, only kind of if you raised her hand, would you probably see it like the shirt was just like, teeny bit shorter. The teacher went into the loss of found found a scarf, and made her wear it around her waist to cover her mid draft, I was sent home on time because my, my tape topless the straps were too thin. And I'll be honest with you, when I was, I probably started developing breasts at like age 11 like I was, I was probably one of the first girls in the class to get boobs, and people were noticing. I mean, how could you not notice I was noticing that my body is changing, it's, that's a really scary again, really scary time and an uncomfortable time as a woman, as a person as a girl, becoming a woman. I felt very isolated I felt very confused. It was, you know, out of your control, and I was shamed for this publicly in front of my peers, and I just remember thinking like, I can't let this get to me, like, you know, it was just one of those things where like I felt very mature for my age, I mean, I wasn't mature for my age compared to the other girls in the class but for the teachers to to point me out to single me out to take me outside the classroom and say, you need to change, or you need to go home or you can't wear the shirt anymore, But one of my best friends in class, she had the exact same shirt on as me, but she didn't have any boobs he actually hasn't she hadn't developed that yet. And I said to the teacher, but this person is wearing the same shirt as. Why didn't you pull her out of the classroom and the teacher straight up said because you have boobs.



And, I was just a 13 year old. Can you are 12 or 13 year olds like the shame imagine.



I mean I still remember this and this was 17 years ago. It was a long time ago, I remember this moment, but yeah it is it is a bit traumatic and it's uncomfortable, and now I I mean, I've evolved, I feel like more and matured more in my own self esteem, but to still remember this and think like now I'm thinking like, I really have to be mindful of how I speak to, I mean, I try to be mindful of it anyway but, like, really be mindful how you speak to two girls who are developing and in those developing stages to humans, going through these changes like it's so important and I don't think that the teachers really recognized this type of languaging and in the effect it had on me at the time.



[19:30] VK: And the teachers that had the effect on you, and then breeding people of our generation or people of any future generation, and also will have that mindset because I'm going to bring this up because I remember very vividly you told me a story how you were in a parking lot to go when I first met you, you were wearing a shirt, I don't even know if you remember this. You were wearing a shirt, and you have an amazing body, let's just say that amazing body. And you were walking out of your car, you're working in the parking lot and then some girl yelled at you and said watch from afar, do you remember this, you told me this, 



VL: I don't remember this, but okay.



VK: You said this because you were talking about your, your chest and how you have to cover up sometimes and. And this random girl saw you in a parking lot and just yelled at you, out of nowhere, not knowing who the hell you are, and called you a slut from afar, just because of how beautiful your body was.



VL: I appreciate that. I appreciate you saying that. I mean like I, so I have a lot of conversations with women, about, and this is a little bit off of our topic today but about like our self esteem. And there are movies about this, there's a funny one, I can't remember the name of right now, with Amy Schumer, and she like, She like hits her head and she thinks that her ball, shoot as she goes that spin class right yeah so but yeah, but in the, in one of the scenes in the bathroom, she's talking with this like supermodel who's like in tears, about, and she doesn't think she's pretty and like everyone wants to look like Victoria's Secret models are whatever that's, that's the, the false representation of women right and how women want to be they apparently want to be this way. So really it's about the confidence that you were right, confidence is our best accessory. It's our if it's not even an accessory it's really like a foundational piece but I have definitely learned that we are all going through our own stuff, and we all have our own insecurities, including myself, and hearing how other people talk to themselves or think about themselves, and then there's like projection on other people. So, whoever that was who yelled to, you know, that person is obviously not okay with themselves or not okay. And I really like, I mean I started the Women's Empowerment Podcast. I wanted this to be a space, a platform where women can come together, where women can share their story share their voice be heard, feel accepted, feel her feel listened to, and really empower and motivate and inspire other women to to rise up, I think, apply I truly believe that all ships rise with the tide and, you know, the more outbursts, you can yell at another woman like, let's not, let's just not do that anymore, with each other out there to say, your body so beautiful, beautiful, very different bodies. They're both very beautiful, and, like, I don't know I just, I don't have any tolerance for bullying, and that sort of thing. However, there is a side of me that is a compassionate person that says, what you're going through is really tough. And I'm sorry that you feel the need to share these outbursts, with me. Right and I think that's really important as someone who is on the receiving end, to understand. It's not about me. It's not about me, that person is going through their thing. Anyway, I felt felt like that was important.




[23:19] VK: Yes, absolutely. And on the outburst thing. It's the judgment the internal judgment, even if you don't have the outbursts, right and this is how, you know, starting about starting talking about being mindful, is how mindful are you actually with with yourself and with other people, are you judging other people and are you judging, then yourself as well. Because mindfulness for people who don't know what the definition of mindfulness is, is the awareness of your thoughts, your emotions, your sensations and your feelings, in and around the body and your surrounding environment, with no judgment. Mindfulness is a practice, it means that you do need to practice this like you're training your brain like a muscle. So that's very very important when we're going about our day to day relationships. People approach us and of course with our body image. And going back to the taboo, and the shame that we had growing up about our bodies then stemming into of course in our bodies is the vessel where we can host our pleasure and our desires, and of course where we don't know what our pleasures and desires because we don't want to expose ourselves because it was seen as something that was so wrong and bad and shameful, yet all of a sudden, when you then get to a teenager and you start dating, you're supposed to be this Vixen, and you're supposed to know all about sex and all about your body and be really good in bed because if you don't beat your if you're not good in bed, then no one's going to love you.



We were taught that right so all of a sudden we're supposed to blossom into this sexual female amazing being when in our tweens and teenagers we were never, ever taught. So this is what I am, my mission is to make mindful intimacy, mainstream.



VL: Oh, I bet. I love it, so. Okay. So I think really getting to that point of normalcy is being open to having these conversations as difficult as they may be, you know, get out the giggles get all the discomfort. I feel like the more we do something, the more comfortable, we're going to get with it so I feel like it's safe to say that we can start incorporating these conversations. Can we take things a little deeper into maybe more like the self care rituals and learning how to connect to that mindful, intimacy, learning how we can connect the mind, the body the breath, the Yoni together, how do we do this, where do we start.



VK: Yeah, so one of the things that I want to emphasize as we think about self care as bubble baths face mass massages, you know your basic stuff.



But actually, when you really look at sex, good sex is so good for our well being, So, it's good for our blood pressure or cardiovascular health, to help strengthen our muscles, especially because we're strengthening our pelvic floor. It helps with our confidence it can help strengthen our relationships. So when you look at all of this, all this research about good sex and how good it is for our well being. How come it is not part of our self care repertoire, because it's not innate because of everything that we just discussed. So, how we actually start is to understand what your Yoni is, what does it look like. So if I asked you to draw a diagram of your Yoni like an anatomy textbook and label the outside and the inside the ovaries the fallopian tube the g spot the a spot the clitoris. The Bachelor opening the urethra the vulva, the labium adore the way beyond all that stuff. Would the listeners, would you be able to do it without looking on Google?



VL: Personally, absolutely not. The one spot I don't the who? the what now? I mean it would be hilarious. I would try it and I would laugh at it, and I would, I would be slightly embarrassed but also I would think like okay, this is obviously the opportunity for me to now learn about these things so okay we need I you know I used to do this more often. I used to take a mirror down there and explore and look at these things I didn't know what they were called.



And I feel like I still don't know what everything is called, but I definitely don't do that anymore like I don't have that same personal, intimate connection with myself, as I did, like, when I was kind of learning about this in school and trying to figure out like hey like this looks different than I used to have like what does this make you know it's not easy to look at you need a mirror to help you.



VK: Absolutely. So that's that would so step one is to know your Yoni know the parts of it, understand the anatomy, because you use it you have it every single day you own it. And the second is like you said, use a mirror so we call it Yoni gazing, and that's really to get to know how it looks like and.



And by the way, most of my 100% of my clients, they can't draw, they get stumped as well, when I ask them to draw the diagram which shows you how little we know about ourselves how how disconnected we are in ourselves, and then when I ask them to put a mirror and look at their yoni. A lot of times, they're like, Oh, I don't, I don't want to look at it, it's just like, Ooh, you know, a little squeamish, but the Yoni is a beautiful thing. Think about how strong it is, it can birth out a baby. That thing is so strong it can birth out a human out there, he can experience over seven different types of orgasms. 



And like I mentioned, just one little spot has 1000 nerve endings. It is such a beautiful thing that we need to embrace and really start embracing owning this yoni. So, anatomy, understand the anatomy Yoni gazing and then owning it. And you know how we spend time like we make an appointment and we get our nails done we get our hair done right we carve out time to do those things. But how can we don't carve out time to give ourselves pleasure. Embracing pleasure. Right, and, and of course I mean pleasure in different ways but in this specific context, it's your pleasure around your yoni.



So for example, okay. The clitoris is the most sensitive part of the body, but did you know that the clitoral actually looks like a wishbone, and the nerves and the tissue stem all the way down to the labor to the lips to the outer lips, and that it looks like a wish ball, no one knows this, and



people don't people don't realize that wow, okay, when you are exploring yourself. Start to touch yourself start to touch it like carve out that time to really enjoy the pleasure. So I'm going to go back to a Lingam, to the penis right. The tip of the penis is very similar to the tip of the Cuadras. And when we stimulate the penis, how many people just touches the tip of the penis, without stroking the actual shaft to in gorge, it with blood. So similarly with the clearest, why would you just touch the tip of it, to stimulate your clitoris, when you should know by now that it looks like a wishbone so you actually need to massage the higher clearest and by the way the anatomy of the clearest, that looks like a wishbone was only discovered by researchers in 1998.



VL: OH EM GEE!



VK: It’s 2021 by the way for the people who are listening. 1998 was when the full anatomy of the clitoris was discovered that elliptica wishbone stemmed all the way down to the lips.



VL: Oh, and I'm just learning about this today so I was today years old. You know what I don't even have any shame, I don't even have any shame because the good news is, I'm learning about it now and better late than never. Goodness gracious, I got a lot of Yoni gazing and touching. I'm going to carve out that time on time.



[32:24] VK: If you're getting your nails done, your hair done, you've got that time to do that.



A lot of it is also due to how, in terms of the scientific field and researchers, it's quite male dominated. And because it's quite male dominated. A lot of the time, this research is lacking. That's why we only discovered this whole anatomy in 1998, and also a little note about that is you know only 25% of women can orgasm via penetration, right, like going into intercourse, or females can orgasm on the outside. So start on the outside. Why is it that we think that if I can't orgasm through penetration I can orgasm with intercourse or something wrong with me, because the research is so male dominated that penis and vagina sex means that you get an orgasm because the penis uses itself, and it feels a pleasure to go in, but it ignores all the amazing parts on the outside of the vulva. it all makes sense now, doesn't it



VL: Right.



VK: So this is why we need to explore because if you don't explore, you're not you're going to not know about your body and you're going to, then how are you going to help your partner understand your body, right, with some of my workshops, the people who come, it's mainly cater to females and when the females come and they go, this is really a workshop for males. Five. No, I said, How are you supposed to guide your partner? You need to connect with yourself first, own your pleasure first before you let your partner pleasure you.



VL: Okay, so this is actually a great segue point to a listener question from Hannah, and she asks, how can we be more vocal of our needs to be able to get to this point of intimacy where the other partner can give us that pleasure, give us that orgasm that we can give ourselves so definitely I think there are a lot of people who are so disconnected or lack the connection to themselves that they can't pleasure themselves, but then for the people who can find that their own pleasure. How do they vocalize this to their partner?



VK: Well the first thing is, understand that timing is key. So to start timing is key and what I mean is, and perhaps some people already know this, so on average it takes males, two to seven minutes to climax.



I say the average of course for the men listening could be a lot longer than that, but two to seven minutes, but for females, it takes 20 to 40 minutes.



So the way I describe males and females, males is like lighting a match. So, you light a match, and then the match goes out and you cannot relate to it



So there's that refractory period for men. For women, it's like boiling water, it takes time to for water. A once you get that water boiling I guess a boiling, boiling points master climax, and then.



And the water stays warm for a long time and that's why women can have multiple orgasms. So when you know this timing right, you need to then match the timing between, let's say, this is for heterosexual couples, you need to then match the timing, but if you don't know this I need to acknowledge this as, as a couple as your partner, then dirted there's a disconnect, there's a misalignment there. So first understand timing is key. First, it takes time.



VL: Sorry those analogies are awesome, I love. I didn't know that was the time. No, that was the timing, I am learning a lot of things today.



VK: ​​The first thing that's important is timing. I may timing, understand that the timing to climax is different for males and females starkly different, if you think about oh yeah, for play for 1015 minutes is not enough and also for play starts way beyond the bedroom, before the bedroom starts throughout the day, maybe even the day before, and it's also contextual so pleasures contextual meaning if something happened during the day if you bumped into an ex boyfriend, if you had a stressful day at work. If the kids are pissing you off, all these things, it's going to affect your pleasure, right. So when you're then commuting, communicating with your partner, just feel that if you're not feeling it in that moment, You're not feeling it might not be. It might not be.



Okay. And when then you're communicating and let's say, Okay, let's say you're an individual that really understands your body, and you are really good at pleasuring yourself. Let's say you're like okay, I know my body I don't need gays I pleasure my Yoni my vulva I know all the different types of orgasms. The way that you can guide your partner is tell them that what you like when you're doing it on your own, and even guide for hand start with a hand member only 25% of women can orgasm naturally. So start with the outside start playing around you're exploring this territory and this terrain together, which is a very different feeling and a different experience, and you're exploring it on your own.



For the people who haven't explored themselves yet and don't know about how, what can pleasure them yet. The first step is explore yourself first and then explore the terrain with your partner, and it's very very special and it's a very beautiful process that you can navigate with your partner.



VL: So, I love everything that you're saying and I think it's so important and it's almost like you're giving permission for us to do these things, right, and we haven't. Well, a lot of, I mean I never, I was never given permission to do this by from anyone else, you know, you're kind of on your own with this one. So I think it's really nice to hear this, and to hear this permission from you.



It's also nice to hear the statistics and know that, okay, you know, it's, it's okay That I don't orgasms actually it's okay that I'm not gonna say that I don't know all those things, because you know you're not alone and I think that's what's really is the expectation again like oh I'm expected to be the sexy kid and like you were saying I was I'm expected to be the sex goddess like, yet you're don't even know yourself this way so that's the perfect place to start. And, you know, just kind of biting the bullet for lack of a better term, and exploring that with your partner as awkward or silly as it might seem in the beginning but I think it's, it's that simple.





Simple just like opening the conversation and using brands and, you know, making it, making it Okay, making it comfortable for both. I mean, like I know for myself like I want to make sure that my partner is pleased and then they want to make sure that I'm pleased so, you know, forget the awkwardness like just have that conversation with them.



I feel like that definitely deepens the connection as well.



[40:10] VK: Yeah, and a very important part is having a conversation, of course like vocal allies during it because even though, if you're, if your partner's really good at reading body language, and some are, some aren't. It’s great.



But having the conversation after your, your experience with each other. After what felt really good for you. Oh yeah, I really liked it when you did this and I, my body I was feeling all these sensations really be present, be present, of course, during the process and using the breath, by the way, very helpful because using the breath, you're stimulating so you're breathing in nitric oxide which expands your blood vessels meaning when you're expanding your blood vessels. The blood goes to your Yoni, and you need to endorse a Yoni to let it open, think about a flower, it needs to open can pry a flower open and force it to blossom. We need to let it happen naturally. So when you're breathing in and out through the nose nitric oxide. So to help with that, and staying in this present moment, and then even after your sexual experience or intimate experience with your partner, have a conversation with your partner about what you really liked and be present and listen, and your partner needs to listen and how that really in depth, intimate conversation because that is super valuable. Because also, workplace starts at the end of your last orgasm.



That's when foreplay really starts.



[41:43] VL: Okay, so I feel like we're gonna need a part two…



VK: So much information.



VL: We're learning so many things. Yeah, so this is all super. I'm so glad you're doing this because I feel very comfortable asking your questions.



VK: Yeah, there's so much to know.



VL: There is and something we kind of chatted about before this episode in the recording, were some of the ways we can incorporate intimacy habits so I'd love to kind of move into that. I know you talked a little bit about how we can get to know ourselves and that can definitely be a part of it, but is there anything that we can you know do with our partners in terms of those types of habits and intimacy this way.



VK: Yeah, yeah, absolutely. So I'm assuming everyone showers daily, right. Hopefully everyone showers daily. If you've been on lockdown maybe not every day, but a really good way to build intimacy with your partner is to shower together and actually lathering each other in the shower, and exploring the body that way and, and it doesn't have to lead to sex in the shower, whoever's listening it. It's an exploration process, and like I said it could be part of foreplay because foreplay can start anytime after your last orgasm. So, a part of that as a ritual. And I want to say, ritual, because it is so special is intentional lathering each other up and there's something really sexy about that when you're doing it with your partner.



And then you're all nice and clean up for. So that that's something that's very obvious because everyone needs to shower, so that's a very good start into making a habit. And when I say intimacy, it doesn't always lead to penetration, doesn't always lead to.



And then after the shower, moisturize, I love to all my own I love moisturizing, moisturizing on my own and even doing it in front of the mirror, you can even do in front the mirror with your partner and your partner can even watch you moisturize yourself you can moisturize each other right in different parts, different parts of the body, and, and again staying mindful and present and breathing while you're doing this and being really, really sensitive to all the different parts that you like and communicating that was like, Oh, I like it when you massage my inner thigh. I like it when you touch my glutes, in my butt. I'd like it when your finger strokes down my lower back. Right. So doing little things like that is an amazing way to lead yourself to build up the foreplay towards perhaps sex later on.



[44:36] VL: Yeah, that's great. Now, I'm trying to think of like all the ways I'm like, How can I make every other mind sexy?



VK: Yes you can, even you can even do a little, even when you're undressing before the shower. It can be something that is, you know, not just like flopping your clothes on the floor, it could be very sensual, everything can be very anyways.



VL: So I'm just picturing this tonight okay so just bear with me. This is hilarious. So, I'm just picturing not telling Craig that we had this conversation, and then just start stripped using before the shower and he's gonna be like “What the hell are you smoking?”



Just like... “Oh we're trying something new. Okay!?”



first so you do funny, but I think it's so funny you know what, I am someone who I really encourage playfulness, not just in my partnership in my intimacy but also in habit building and with my coaching practices like, like how can we make this fun, and I feel like that masculine energy, it's really, it is really of linear energy that is one track, we go from point A to point B, but the balance comes from. Okay, we have a goal and you know sex isn't how to have a goal but you know what I mean the masculine energy has the root starting here and we're ending here, But the feminine energy and for women this balance is like, how can we incorporate more play and pleasure. If we're talking about intimacy, how can we incorporate one connection. How can we incorporate more being present and not focusing on the end goal but rather focusing on the here and just trusting that it brings us to the end. And so I yeah I just love the idea of, you know, trying these things out, of course, other than showers every day, of course we need to take her clothes off to get in the shower like blind before, right, and it can be really fun. I know that in the past. Actually, the top that Walmart has a top but it's actually a bodysuit and Craig bought it for me. And I really like it and so something that we do is like, whenever we get new clothes we do like a little fashion show for each other I mean make it fun. I mean make it silly and I hope he's okay with me sharing this.



​​You know, like, it's an intimate, you know, not like hiding behind a dressing curtain like changing like I'm changing in front of the my partner and like it's, it's fun and it's sometimes it's sexy and I'm like, Oh well that's a nice new pair of like boxer briefs that you got or like that new shirt, it doesn't even have to be a sexy thing, it could just be like, oh that's a new dress that I have and I'm trying it on for you like to show you and to connect with you.



VK: Yeah, I, I love that you're using these like, really basic things that we've already do and just bringing in that play and that pleasure to them so well, so simple because it's not like you have to specifically carve out time to do these things, especially, even before you get home.



When you're at work right let's say in the morning you put on a pair of panties underwear lingerie whatever you want and you have a date night, or you have, you know, a night in, and even just messaging each other messaging your partner, like I'm wearing something really naughty underneath and I'm just going to come home and you're going to have to find out what it is.



VL: Oh, right. Okay.



VK: And then when you then start to get into the shower and start addressing each other or you can undress yourself and your partner can watch and then it's, it's like a build up on top of that, and it's it's beautiful and it's how you make it playful, instead of text messaging each other. Hey, what are we having for dinner tonight we're going to order. What should we watch out now.



VL: This is literally me, I'm like, go to the grocery store after work, what do you want. What do you want? So funny. I love that.



VK: Well you know what it's funny that you say that so now that you're saying this like boiling the water thing and it takes 20 to 40 minutes for women to for females to orgasm. I was just reminded of this time that I bought the sexy lingerie. I wore it underneath my dress to go out for dinner and like the whole time at dinner, I was like giddy and like giggly like trying to make sure that you couldn't see it under my dress and like it was a little bit awkward because it wasn't the best dress for, for what I was wearing underneath. But I was getting, like, really heated up and like excited and I was excited to like surprise my partner with what I was wearing underneath, and it was almost like that was what was longer than 20 minutes that dinner but, I mean the whole time at dinner, it was like foreplay and he didn't even know. Yes, I didn't even know yet.



VK: Yeah, well they only need two to seven minutes so they don't really know until the very end. But for us, when we feel good when we feel sexy when we feel feminine when we feel intimate with ourselves and that and I love that because you were feeling intimate with yourself, actually, because he had no idea.



But for us, when we feel good when we feel sexy when we feel feminine when we feel intimate with ourselves and that and I love that because you were feeling intimate with yourself, actually, because he had no idea.



VL: It's so awesome, I love that. Oh my goodness, I feel like we could talk about this all day long.



Okay, I again like we're just gonna have to have you back on the show to talk about the rest, because this is like gold. I love it. I love this conversation. Thank you so much. So where can we find you? Where can we follow you, how can we support your business? All the things. 


INSTAGRAM @mindfulintimacy 


[51:45] RAPID FIRE ROUND



1. What are you currently reading? What’s your favourite book?

Come as You Are - Emily Nagoski



2. What do you love most about being a woman?

Wow, I love that question. Oh my gosh, you didn't even tell me this beforehand. Okay. What do I love… how free. I can feel my body, so free. Yeah, and just loving every part of it.



3. What does empowerment mean to you?

empowerment to me means having confidence. Not just physical competence, I want to say confidence in yourself, your mental confidence as well as owning what you're putting out in the world, and really having a strong intention of what you want to put out in the world and, and just helping other women. And this is why I do what I do, because knowledge is great, I'm giving out knowledge but knowledge is only power, if you actually use it. So this is why I want people to build these habits to really start to get intimate with themselves and with their partner and that's very empowering for me and for other women.



4. What are you currently working toward?

Well, so I didn't tell you this though, but I am working towards moving to either Bali or Thailand, by the end of the year, and it's just a place that's super spiritual huge community of these types of women who really want to empower each other, and not just intimately, but just letting all that feminine energy and divine feminine energy release. And I, I love Bali, or Thailand really both places a beach and water, and I feel like I'm, I'm a hole when I'm there so that's what I'm working towards. 

 

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E143: How to Make the Most of Your Exercise
 
 

E143: How to Make the Most of Your Exercise with Tiffany Ricci & Kendra Miller

From flowing through your female hormone cycle, to maximizing your energy levels, plus what to eat before and after your workout, and more!


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[1:31] Valerie LaVigne: Welcome back to the Women's Empowerment Podcast. I'm very excited to welcome two new guests to the show. Tiffany and Kendra registered dietician, nutritionist Kendra Miller and Tiffany Reiki, are here to help you improve your health through nutrition and exercise, they have experience with a variety of other athletes, ranging from those who are just beginning an exercise routine to ultra endurance competitors, looking to improve their performance. Kendra and Tiffany know what it takes to get your energy back and improve your performance through healthful nutrition coaching, accountability and support. Welcome ladies to the show so great to have you. 



And we touched on this a teeny little bit before we started recording but in the guest submission One of the things that we kind of learned about you was that the two of you have only met in person, two times. And when I read that I thought, oh my goodness, like how do you run this business, where you're not actually together and so I'd love to learn a little bit more about your business and how you, how you do this?



[2:36] Kendra Miller: Well, I would say that it started, virtually in the first place, because we were both living in Alaska and as we know Alaska is a very fast and wonderful place, but it's not close together so a lot of our communication that we had was via email and patient whether it's Skype with a tie him or something of that nature and it just carried on from there, we really connected and when we met in person finally with the Alaska Dietetic Association, it we just hit it off, and we were in very similar places in life, and the friendship just blossomed from there and when we both decided to move down to the lower 48 was around the same time. And we're like, Well, where are they? Again, you know our worlds collided and we were back in the same place in some capacity not physically, but in more of that other realm. And we're like, oh well we want to work together, we want to continue to help specifically moms to really understand their health and fitness through nutrition, and so with that our business develops and we continue on with the cross country entrepreneurs, you have today.



Tiffany Ricci: we stay connected with Marco Polo, and, and weekly meetings that we meet on Zoom. Every Friday so that we are not missing out on much.



VL: It's amazing that you have these systems in place and I feel like that's so important to running a business, but obviously to be running it virtually across the country is also so important so yeah that's amazing that you have these tools, and I think this is quite, quite a gift to to entrepreneurs and to these type of networks and communities is to have this technology that really brings us together. So, the moms that you support and that you help, are also all over the US are they all over the world. Where are they?




TR: the moms that we work with, we work with online so they're all over the place. We have some, I mean, locally and then also, in many different states, I don't think we've had anybody



KM: oh no one international in Germany right now, We've had some in England, and I don't know if anyone else but those are the two countries that I know besides the US that we're working in.



VL: No Canadians yet?



KM: Not yet.



VL: That's so crazy, I would have I would have guessed that you would have had Canadians well maybe after this podcast because I'm based in Toronto Canada so yeah I never know we could open that up to it, but we're actually here to talk about something a little bit more specific when it comes to the health and wellness industry I feel like there are tons of topics that we can kind of reach into and discuss a little bit more about, and we're here to talk about making the most of our exercise, and when I saw this, this kind of specific topic I got so excited because I'm a health and wellness coach. 



I am a Pilates studio owner, and there are, I guess, myths, there are a lot of myths or just some ideas that don't always serve every single person, and I love working with women because I guess there's just this really cool innate flow to to who we are and how we work, and how we work out and how we get our energy so I was really excited to talk a little bit more about this and really cover like moms but also women so, take us away who wants to start.



KM: I can start because I think you've nailed it whenever you started talking about women have this flow in their life and that's so true because once we hit puberty, we literally have a flow and with that, that also affects our nutrition, and we can't look at our lifestyle without looking at our cycle and so a lot of what Tiffany and I do is looking at the whole woman, and seeing okay well where are you at in life, what are your hormones look like, know our day to day life, what how that affects our nutrition what our new trician needs during that time, we know that the latter half of the cycle, your energy increases by eight to 16% your energy needs. And so your, you should be getting more food during that time. That's why we crave things and so we work with our clients to really understand how to work with your body, rather than against it so you can get what you need out of not only being interested in but also your exercise, too.



[7:24] VL: I'm so glad that this is being talked about because I recently finished the book. Woman Code by Alisa Vitti and I'm just obsessed with her. She has a new book coming out, but really talking about our monthly cycle and how it's broken into these four kind of phases, this wasn't something that I was taught when I first got my period, this was not part of a conversation and health classes is not a conversation with my mom or any other kind of female figures in my life. 



Being able to now, at 30, being able to now read this book, and, say that okay what I'm going through feeling this law at this part of the month but really excited at the next part of the month. It doesn't have to be a 24 hour cycle in fact it's closer to that 28 day cycle. So, I mean, it's life changing for women, and I'm so happy to hear that this is part of how you work with women and how you support them. Do you mind if we talk about each of those four phases and maybe like a hot tip for the exercise in each of them.



BOOK: Woman Code by Alisa Vitti

https://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/B009NFNBO0/ref=as_li_qf_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=valerielavi01-20&creative=330641&linkCode=as2&creativeASIN=B009NFNBO0&linkId=bda24d7d662a7d185932ac7c344b651e



KM: Not at all. So when we talk about our cycles, I'm gonna pull up my notes here so I don't forget anything but when we're talking about our cycles we're dividing up. For those of you that don't know and to the four phases. 



[FOLLICULAR PHASE]

So we have our menstrual cycle we have initially a follicular phase and that time right after we bleed and that's the time that we feel probably the most refresh time that we can really go on and push through. And so what we're doing. That phase is, we want to focus on our endurance, we want to see how far we can go, we're running, we want to attend to really measure a distance there too.to really push ourselves in that capacity.



[OVULATION PHASE]

When we go on to our ovulation phase, there's just that time that we are having the most energy during the month that we have this vitality that we can really capture, we're going to look at our exercise and if we're trying to like really perform and increase our cardiovascular work, we're going to look at doing intervals. So that's at a time that you're going to really succeed during that, and really push yourself to really, again, get your heart rate up for a longer period of time, bring it back down and have fun with it. So, whether it's a spin class whether it's interval training, whether it's a hit workout whatever that time may be that's whenever you're going to really enjoy it the most. For one, and number two, see the most benefits from your exercise or physical aspect of it.



[LUTEAL PHASE]

When we go into our luteal phase. It's a longer phase and with that you can do. Some people try to live it up for example so you start at the beginning of that phase you're working on your string, maybe you can still go a little bit harder. If you're working on cardio, you know, you can still do that there's nothing against that. But as you go through that luteal phase, it's going to kind of taper off you're going to feel like you're getting tired and that's totally normal. And that's what we talked about listening to our body. So yes you're focusing on your strength, we kind of look at your form. So, even though you're doing cardio, I'm going to use running as an example, you're looking at your form for running, so making sure you're landing with mid foot strikes and focusing on that rather than focusing on getting your pace below a certain marker I that's not what you're going to want to do, so you're focusing on the strength workouts,



[MENSTRUAL PHASE]

and then as you get into your menstrual phase, you're going to either rest or look at two calming techniques whether it's Pilates, or yoga, or something that's not going to stress your body and it can really work on that healing aspect of it, as you're recovering and getting ready for that next round of work.



[11:11] TR: Yes, and then as you during your bleeding when Kendra had mentioned this before. That's when your hormones are actually at their lowest. So it's your body is doing a lot of work to shed the lining, and it's a time that if you, you know, this is where women can't be 100% every single day because our bodies don't function that way. But if you feel like resting, absolutely. The other thing is it because your hormones are so low, it could be a time that you could PR, you know, and this is something this is where you really have to listen to your body because if you let's say that you've been training for a race, and then the race falls on the day of your you know your period or the middle of your period, it doesn't mean it's all for naught you should throw it out. If you have been listening to your body for the previous month, and really resting, you know, during the latter half of your luteal phase, you could bust it out, you know, but you just, it's really paying attention to your body.



​​But if you, you know, if you haven't been listening, if you haven't been feeding it that extra energy that you need in that latter half of your cycle, then you're just going to be way below the bar. So, one thing that women just aren't taught I feel is to really listen to gather the data on your body. When you are, you know, having.



[13:13] VL: That's great advice I'm so glad you said tracking because, as a healthy habits coach, this is pretty much like a very core part of how I work with people and it's really using the data and collecting the data and tracking whether it's our habits or our cycle or our mindset or whatever it is, and I find it so helpful because I've done this to was tracking my cycle and I've actually put it out in my calendar so that when I'm, when I'm booking in podcasts events, or when I'm booking in my workouts, I know that okay, this week is going to be a little bit of a lighter week maybe I don't use weights when I'm working out of the gym maybe I go down lighter weights, maybe I'm focusing on that yoga practice whatever it is. So, that is so perfect. Can we chat just like really briefly about each of them, the amount of days, or the typical number of days that we go through each cycle just so that people who are listening, if they want to start tracking it, how they can do that.



TR: Yes, that's a very good question, you're at the beginning of your follicular phase, like right after you're done with your period, is about five to six days, and then the ovulatory phase is also very small. Again like five, six days, your luteal phase can be anywhere from 10 to 14 days. And so then your period is anywhere from like three to five. So just depending, we say, you know, the average is like a 28 day cycle, but that's the normal for that, in air quotes which you can't see on a podcast is, you know, anywhere from 22 to 32, so you can still be within normal range.



Outside of that, So just depending on where you are and the nice thing about tracking is that if you, if you can kind of, you know, it's really hard to, to feel your body change unless you kind of know that it's coming up so there are apps for tracking which can kind of help you.



You know, physically see where your body is and then take that, okay well this is my follicular phase and this is how I feel, and kind of really press that into your memory so that you can kind of keep like it'll it'll just kind of, you know, almost like a smell like, I know that if, if I walk in the house and it smells like this.



So I know that if I'm in my curriculum. This is how I feel regarding my luteal phase this is how I feel. That can be really helpful.



VL: Great, and I'm glad that you kind of reiterated the fact that everyone's going to be a little bit different and we might be sitting near the 28 day range and other people might be sitting in more of a 32 day range so it really is about that connection with self and getting to know what your body is doing, and I, so I find personally is that my cycle has changed.



And it tends to change, but more frequently or more often, I should say, if I'm traveling, those things kind of change up but then again your exercise routine changes when you're traveling to right so there's just lots going on with our bodies and definitely that self connection. That connection to self being more mindful and power feeling, I think that's important and that can be involved with our tracking. 



Now, there are other ways that we can make the most of our exercise that are a little bit more specific to the day to day so we kind of taken this big picture of, okay, the 28 to 3832 days cycle, we know that these are the energy levels so these are the types of workouts that we're going to fit in with those. Let's say, Day one, you can pick the day whatever day you want, what are we doing before, during, after, let's get a little bit more specific.



KM: This is one of our favorite topics I will say it's just kind of drilling it down and figuring out what do we need, and where do we start with, and so for example let's start with the beginning of the day, we always say you need to practice like a queen, lunch like a princess, and then are like a popper so when you are eating throughout your day, you need to make sure that you are fueling for your day, you are not going to be burning your energy as much during the night so you don't need a big meal before you go to bed, and they have to just sit there when you need your big meal when it needs to be full of carbohydrates yes I said carbohydrates, maybe that's a whole pot in this modern day world but you need carbohydrates which is a totally different topic that we could go on for hours about, but for the purposes of this podcast we're going to say, make sure you have carbohydrates to start your day, make sure you have the protein that fat to really build up not only an energy bolus, to keep you going throughout the morning, but also to give you the satiety and to feel good and to really understand that, oh, This is going to be what I need us to be up to start off with that breakfast like a queen and enjoy it loaded up and have fun with it.



As we start moving after again, and we're going through our exercise we want to make sure that we're feeling for exercise too. So at least 30 minutes beforehand, make sure you have some carbohydrates on board. I have like I said, carbohydrates, that's what we mean when we're exercising, that's what we're burning most frequently. And so we need to make sure that we have those on board so we can get the most out of our exercise. So, eat a little bit before your exercise or drink a little bit if you're saying oh it's in the morning and I don't want to eat before I run, that's when you don't have to eat. Just drink a little bit of juice, we would never say drink juice any other time during the day but when we're talking about our exercise bubble we say okay, this is how we can feel it, maybe it's you have a graham cracker or to feel it, do whatever works best for you because that's going to give you the fuel that energy that you need to power through and have a really excellent workout, one that's, you're not going to be already behind the eight ball before you even start seeing to make sure you're feeling up correctly. If you're having a long distance ride, or if you're doing a long workout anything that's more than 60 to 90 minutes, and you're going to want to think about feeling through that workout. There's lots that can go into that effect so I'm not going to go into detail with that, but making sure that you are feeling through if you're hitting that threshold, and then the other key factor is recovering so making sure you refueling so you just spent these energy stores, you need to recover with it, you need this three to one, at least ratio of carbs to protein A lot of people think, Oh, I just need a protein shake. After I finish the workout when in truth you just burn all these awesome carbohydrates but you need to refill those stores, so you're going to want to make sure that you not only have the protein. Proteins are good. You want to make sure those muscles get what they need, but you also need to make sure that you have the energy source from the carbohydrates to replace this by good storage. So you have the energy to keep going so you don't hit the afternoon slump so you're not like where's my energy that I need another coffee. Would it be three or five o'clock in the afternoon, and what was the end of the day.



​​So you want to make sure you're recovering correctly, as well as using up correctly and then having that balance of energy to get through the day to where you are at in the evenings.



[20:43] TR: I mean everything that Kendra said. 

And the reason we really encourage carbohydrates, particularly when women don't do well, faceted anything. And the reason is if you think about going back to our cycle. We're made to get pregnant, every single month, so your body is like, Well, okay, it's another month, here we go like we're going to get ready and she's definitely going to get pregnant this month, and your body doesn't know that maybe you're not trying, or you're done or, you know that you're still in lockdown I mean, but, but if you fast so exercising fasted, particularly for women just causes a huge cortisol response. So if you're potassium exercising all the time I'm hardly eating anything and I'm not toning up I'm not leaning down. Let's because your body is preparing for you to get pregnant, and it's going to hold on to those stores and fat stores, because you're not giving it enough, so there's no reason to ever be shy, and feel like you can't have something before a workout or particularly if it's a really long workout during, and especially after because your body will respond will respond in a stressed out state, especially if it's chronically ongoing so one thing that you know, there's a whole, wide array of issues that can happen with females cycles when they're not healed well and infertility loss of cycle all of that, and it can just be as, as a simple fix as fueling your exercise, you know you've had your whole day cluster exercise so, and the best form to do that is carbohydrates because it's quick energy that your body needs to just go go go.



[22:33] VL: Amazing! SO many great points you’ve made. 



 I have a bunch of questions. First I'd like to touch on the fact that you said, the fasting isn't usually healthy for women and I'm so glad you said that because I actually used to intermittent fast for a really long time I did this, and it was actually just recently I would say last summer where I stopped doing because I was watching issues, and most of those were rooted in adrenal fatigue. So, basically I was just like, very stressed out, even though I wasn't really stressed out my body felt very stressed out. So my mind wasn't as stressed as my as my body was but everything felt really hard I was always tired the sun made my size sensitive all of these things, basically, screaming at me that's my adrenals were fatigued, I ended up working with a nutritionist who helps me. And one of the things that happened even though she didn't tell me to start eating breakfast right away was because I told her I was like I'm not hungry in the morning, and it's because my body is still my livers was still working really hard to digest yesterday's food, and it wasn't ready for the next thing, but I've had gotten into this really bad habit you could say. So anyways after working with her and kind of being on the supplements and kind of rebalancing my hormones and reducing my stress and all these things, I noticed that I was actually becoming really hungry in the morning. And the only reason why I started fasting was because I was doing something that I like to call intuitive eating, and basically I was eating because I was hungry and not because someone told me that you should eat breakfast because it's the most important meal of the day, I was doing what my body needed, and so now I'm I was. Then I got to this point where my body needed breakfast, so it's made a massive difference in my everyday health and energy levels, I do have to say I love starting the day with a glass or two of water and a super yummy breakfast I feel supercharged for the day. I feel ready to take action. I am not. I'm not crashing into a I'm not like ravenous after a workout, I mean I'm hungry after workout, if I do this is a tough workout but it's made such a difference.



So I, like I said, I'm really glad that you said that and I think it's worth, worth investigating for anyone who is fasting to take a step back and just try to reintroduce some food into your morning so glad you said that and then, which kind of brought me back to a question that I had when Kendra was speaking about fueling up and refueling, I get this question all the time. What do you eat before and after our workout, so I don't know if you have like favorite things, or a couple little cheat recipes you want to share, but I know that question is going to be asked.o I, like I said, I'm really glad that you said that and I think it's worth, worth investigating for anyone who is fasting to take a step back and just try to reintroduce some food into your morning so glad you said that and then, which kind of brought me back to a question that I had when Kendra was speaking about fueling up and refueling, I get this question all the time. What do you eat before and after our workout, so I don't know if you have like favorite things, or a couple little cheat recipes you want to share, but I know that question is going to be asked.



KM: Oh yes, I love those kind of questions, and Tiffany and I are very different on what we really enjoy before and after workouts, and so it depends on how long before I workout, because if you're just doing like, if you need to eat something 30 minutes before it's going to be different than what you're going to be eating two hours before. I want to work with our clients to kind of figure out what is that like some people can eat 30 minutes before it doesn't work for them, but we want to make sure they have carbohydrates and maybe a little bit of protein on board, two hours before so they don't have to, so it doesn't upset their stomach. So there's little nuances that we look at with our clients to make sure that they are getting what they need, what works with their body, but what we like. Back to this is, you know, if we talk about any type of simple carbohydrates, a lot of, again, we talked about fueling during your exercise bubble. And so this is not going to be things that you necessarily have with your lunch or dinner or with your breakfast, they're going to be simple carbohydrates. So we're talking about like white rice instead of brown rice because you're taking out the fiber you're taking out things that slow your digestion, so you want to avoid anything that has a lot of fiber or a lot of fat, so we're looking at, okay, maybe it's some raisins. Yeah, those have some fiber in them, those worked really well for me. They don't work really well for other people, maybe it's a little bit of juice, maybe it's some graham crackers, a bagel, whatever it is that has simple carbohydrates. So we're not going for the 100% Whole grain here, which we would otherwise, but simple carbohydrates are going to give you the carbohydrates, and the energy that you need to fuel your workout. Now when we're talking about refueling, you can totally include those whole grains in there you could, you know, one of our favorites if it's just a quick thing and you're not going to have a meal. I think Tiffany and I both agree that dates and Almond butter we're big fans. Big fan.



Days and all those better ones are I think both of ours, like go to peanut butter and jelly sandwich, US movie is another one that we really love.



What are some other ones, Tiffany? I feel like I can't think of them now that I'm on the spot.



[27:29] TR: if I work out early in the morning like Kendra was said that 30 minutes. I keep little bottles of apple juice on hand in case by I have three boys in case somebody gets constipated because they don't drink juice regularly so that works so like four ounces of apple juice for me will be enough despite my energy to get me out the door, but in the, if I have a couple of hours before the mid morning workout I know Kendra is definitely peanut butter and jelly sandwich in the morning, all the time on the way.



And I am oatmeal. I put lots of stuff in there and, and I love oatmeal and that keeps me nourished, it's digested, two and a half hours before I do my workout, the dates and almond butter or dates and almonds work perfectly trail mix is another refuelling I'm sorry the dates and almonds are repealing trail mix, so if you have some nuts, particularly, maybe salted nuts, and you know the stuff that you can get at the store that they even sold the raisins, like, and you have a little bit of chocolate in there, because that has, you know the sodium the potassium and magnesium that you need to help recover. So some trail mix with, with a, with some water works perfectly or I love Lara bars, those, they're, you know, prepackaged and they're just dates like fruit and nuts and that's a good carbohydrates, help to open up the cells to take in the amino acids from the proteins. So if you just have a protein shake without carbohydrates, then you are not going, then the protein isn't going to be doing the work that it should be so yeah and or it'll be lunch, like I will if I work out mid morning, then I'll have an early lunch, and that'll be whatever you have for lunch, which is perfect



[29:21] VL: You’re making me hungry! 



Oh my gosh, Now I just want dates and some even better. I haven't had that input ever. I totally forgot about the snack. This is brilliant. Those are some great examples I feel like they're not as talked about, in a lot of health and wellness kind of circles or communities. They're such a negative connotation with carbs as we've been saying but they are so important and I definitely think that they need to be a part of our daily dietary intake so glad that we touched on that. That's super exciting. So we're fueling up before we're refueling after, and then we're staying in the flow with our hormonal cycles.



Is there anything else that we should know to make the most of our exercise?



KM: I think one thing that we tend to forget is rest, because when we read, we're not only just resting our muscles and our bodies, but we're also resting our digestive system. We are allowing ourselves to recover allowing those muscles to regenerate and to repair, and we do that, not only, and I had this the other day and I can't remember exactly where I heard it, But you're good sleep starts with breakfast in the morning, and I have not. I can't say how true that is because we're talking about breakfast like a queen. But that also means that we're tapering up throughout the rest of the day so whenever you get to dinner. You're not going to be eating it, you know 30 minutes before you get into bed and you're not going to be loading up because your body is still while you're trying to go to sleep, it's still trying to digest that food it's already working on something else, it can't focus on what it needs to. So whenever we allow time to fully digest before we hop into bed, we're allowing not only our muscles the time to recover, but we're also allowing our bedroom.



You can wake up hungry in the morning, which is a wonderful day because that means that our metabolism is doing what it needs to do overnight it's doing, it's getting that energy to the cells, it's getting these amino acids, working to make sure that those muscles are repairing and so our body functions better whenever we allow not only our physical body to rest our digestive system, as well as our muscles but also our mind too. So, another thing that probably has not a whole lot to do necessarily in some ways, with nutrition but yeah you starting those healthy habits which Valerie you talk about a lot is making sure you know you're turning off your phone so you don't have that blue light that's affecting your sleep beforehand, you're getting rid of any type of worry and stress that you may need to maybe it's journaling before bed and you feel good before bed, so you can really enjoy the rest and relaxation that comes from it and so you're ready to take on the next day.



Getting hungry for breakfast and getting fuel for the rest of it.



TR: Yeah, no, that's absolutely perfect and Kendra and I talk a lot about mindful eating, especially as an athlete until we work with mother athletes, but it's not Olympians or the you know the people that are in the trials right now for the Olympics here in the United States. It is, it is, is moms, it's women who exercise, pretty much because you are busy and women take on, you know all the things you've taken care of a house then work and kids and, and then throwing an exercise. On top of that, so mindful eating is, you might not be hungry after your workout, because it was hot because it was a hard workout, but you're going to be, but you need to refuel so this is where almost that mindful eating is is paired with intuitive eating because Intuitive Eating would say, I'm not really hungry right now I shouldn't be mindful eating would say, but you just exercise, so you need to feel that or you need to have breakfast in the morning to fuel your whole day so that you can rest at night, and where that starts with a good breakfast and if you're not a breakfast eater, then it can be hard to get into the habit, because when you start eating in the morning, you're triggering a whole cascade of hormones that are coming from your gut, and you're turning on that huge engine of your digestive system, and that can be disruptive to just, you know, if you're not used to it can be disruptive to your appetite. So, one thing is just to start small, like a piece of toast a banana.

You know, just something that you can enjoy and get down maybe it's, and that's all that you have, but at least getting started and you'll get used to it and if you give yourself, you know, over time, like you said, now that you did, you were starting to get hungry and that's really important so pairing that mindful eating, along with your outcome, because even when you're, you know, for example when you're sick, you don't feel like eating or drinking anything but you know you need to drink water, so that you don't become dehydrated, that's that mindful writing over intuitive so about writing or I should say, paired well with.



[34:38] VL:Yeah, that's a great yeah that's a great point. I like that mindful eating and it's, it's really true and I think that's part of listening to your body and understanding your cycle and understanding how our bodies work. They need energy, they need fuel. We just burned a ton of energy we needed to refill that. That's amazing. So you said he worked with mom athletes who exercise. Can you tell us a little bit more about how we're what it's like to work with you, is it one on one, do you do group coaching, how does it work.



KM: We have services that we work with for group coaching right now so we have our mother athlete membership, and that is a membership for moms that are looking to decrease that food stress so we give our clients, a pre planned meal plan and this is not saying like you need to eat this many calories, this is no this is saying hey, here's what's on the menu for dinner so you can avoid that, what's for dinner question and it just eases the stress it uses the burden from that. With that, they get group, office hours, so kind of like in college whenever you go to your professor for office hours, they can come to those twice a month, ask the dieticians anything. We have a chat function so if they do have questions outside of that time period, they can ask the dietitian, we review them and really work with our clients there to understand what they need to help ease that food stress. We also offer our feeling intensive course and that feeling intensive course is really taking moms and Mother athletes from this cycle of, you know, often diet cycle ditching that diet cycle and reframing the mindset around food and nutrition. In order to get off of that. That train, and really find sustainable and healthy habits that are nutritionally sound and work with their bodies to get what they need to really achieve those goals. And then we also have our feeling the mother athlete course, and that's another group program, and that is a self paced course it is for the moms that kind of have a grasp of nutrition already but are just having to take their exercise to the next level, Or maybe they're a coach or an instructor that works with that athlete, and they want to help their clients really understand their health and nutrition better as well. So those are the types of things that that course is really geared towards. And then we also offer individual coaching on a case by case basis, so if someone is saying well this doesn't really 50 But I'm interested in. Let us know, let's chat about it. We have a free performance call and love hearing from our clients so what it is that they want to achieve, how we can help them get there through nutrition and exercise.



VL: Awesome. Well, where can we find you, how can we follow you? 



INSTAGRAM | @fuelinglifenutrition

WEBSITE | ​​http://www.fuelinglifenutrition.com 



VL: So all of this sounds amazing. I'm assuming that we can get access or we can get more information about all of your offerings on your website. Correct, yeah. Okay, perfect. So, we'll make sure to include those as well. And before we jump into rapid fire is there any last little piece that we want to add? Are we feeling good, feeling ready for the rapid fire round?




RAPID FIRE

1. What are you currently reading? What’s your favourite book?

KM: Ross Poldark (Book 1) by Winston Graham 

TR: Atomic Habits by James Clear

The Pilgrims Promise by John Bunyan




2. What do you love most about being a woman?

TR: The thing I love the most about being a woman is that it's not this, per se, like there's a lot of change in the way that I see things the way that I approach things and I feel this obviously due to my hormones, and, and I love that it's not always the same.



KM: I would say, kind of, a couple on that is that, because I'm a woman I could bear children, and see them grow and have this and just biological understanding of them and I know for some women and I respect that but I am very fortunate that I've two wonderful children and because I'm a little bit I got to experience that and it's been the greatest.



3. What does empowerment mean to you?

KM: Empowerment is the opportunity to build yourself up or to be to have that feeling of accomplishment that is to say, in the back of your mind, I can do this. And that's really at the body, empowerment to be is that I can do this.



TR: Yes, I think, when I think, you know how some words are visual, I think, like if I'm empowered that I'm, I'm raised up, like I'm on a, I don't want to say a pedestal because I don't want to be put on a pedestal, but you know that you can, you're kind of like you're just higher than the better view around, I guess, is what I would say so because of that you can see more, experience more, do more.



4. What are you currently working toward?

TR: The ​​easier question would be, when am I not working. I have a habit tracker, and I know that Kendra does too and I think if I, if there's been an overarching theme. Over the past year and a half. I'm trying to work on the balance between work and rest in finding this good job of including weekly rest into my week, and teaching that to my boys, and that it's not, go go go go go all the time so that is, that has been a, that's been a long time and I think that everything is trying to get towards that.



KM: It's kind of the same thing because what I'm working on is saying, no more frequently as silly as that sounds like when they say yes is your greatest is your greatest Yes, is saying no and that's really what I'm kind of coming back to I have this type A personality and when I say no this is something that I really, I've decided that, and it's okay because that makes my yeses more important, and so I'm really loving towards that this summer, specifically HOAs are amazing.



VL: I'm so excited for you both and I want to say something, Tiffany, about your, the idea of slowing down and not being so go go go. I think what we have been programmed as the North American society does is just really tell us that we need to be doing all the time needs to be going all the time and if we're not doing and taking action and doing these things and we're doing nothing when it's not true. Resting is an addition it's something we can add into what we're doing. Rest is important. And if we really want to look at what's happening when we're resting, we can talk about that refueling we can recognize that our bodies are re energizing, things are happening, when we rest so I just wanted to say that to, to maybe give you that permission to to do less or to do nothings, air quotes again, because it's so important for our health, and of course our exercise like we talked about today.



[43:48] TR: Yes, that's, that's good, because there's not It's not nothing, it's resting, which is an active thing, so that's perfect, thank you.



VL: Yeah, absolutely. Ladies, this was such a wonderful conversation I'm really glad we had to we got to have this talk, I think it's something that is really important to discuss all parts of our cycle are flow, finding this rhythm and creating kind of this own connection with ourselves to be more mindful and, and really considering the the fuel and the refueling, when we're talking about our workouts and being active, I think what you are doing is so incredible and so powerful, I have a great feeling that it's going to expand to Canada. I don't see why when.



But yeah, I really wanted to acknowledge you for for your work and for making your business work even across a country and, and now globally so congratulations on your expansion into Germany. That's so exciting. And, yeah, it's incredible what you two are doing so, thank you so much for that.



KM & TR: ​​And thank you, Val for having us on. We had just a wonderful time. Yes, such a fun topic. Yes, thank you very much.

 

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E142: Rituals for the Signs (Part 2 of 2)
 
 

E142: Rituals for the Signs (Part 2 of 2)

Combining my love for Astrology with my passion for creating rituals in this two-part series. Here for Aquarius, Capricorn, Pisces, Aries, Taurus, Gemini, and Cancer…


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Episode 141: Rituals for the Signs (Part 1 of 2)

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Let’s start with… the best zodiac sign...

[4:34] AQUARIUS (January 20 - February 18)

My sun sign is Aquarius, so yes I am biased but honestly this sign is the best. Aquarius are the water bearers, these are mystical healers who give water or life upon the land. Now because of this, many people think Aquarius is a water sign, however it is actually one of the Air signs of the zodiac.


This sign is known as the humanitarian of the zodiac. Aquarians are revolutionary thinkers and aspire to change the world through radical social progress. You enjoy a combination of social time and alone time and you are excellent at observation. You are a free-spirit and not a fan of the same routine every day.


Morning Ritual: Start your morning with a yoga practice so that you can tune into your body and mind, strengthen the connection and mix up the stretches based on how you’re feeling for the day. This means some mornings will be a deep breathing workout, while other mornings can serve you to relax and restore. Plus, you’ll need some alone time before connecting with your friends during the day. 


Evening Ritual: Socialize in the evening without having to be too social Aquarius. Open up insta and catch up on your fave accounts, reply thoughtfully to comments and dms, and then watch a couple episodes of your favourite show. 


[6:39] PISCES (February 19 - March 20)

Pisces is the last sign in the zodiac calendar, but certainly not least. You are emotionally sensitive, emotionally aware, sympathetic, and incredibly caring. You are gracious, imaginative, and creative. You are also very much an empath and absorb other people’s energy. Similar to Scorpio (from last week’s episode), you can be a little psychic.


Morning Ritual: Pisces is ruled by the planet Neptune which governs our dreams. You love to sleep and dream. Prioritize peace in the morning. Light a candle, pull an oracle card, and write about your dreams in your journal. This could be your literal dreams or your hopes and dreams for the future. Ease into the day, but don’t hit snooze, the day is ahead of you Pisces. 


Evening Ritual: Your evening ritual stars as soon as you get home. Change into your most comfortable clothes, put on the kettle and cozy up with a cup of tea. You could retreat like Cancer and soak in the tub, or put on some music and journal alone in your room. 


[7:55] ARIES (March 21 - April 19)

Aries is a leader, a go-getter, a trail blazer. They are the first of the zodiac signs as it relates to the zodiac calendar, which I mixed up for this two part series because I wanted to start with the Leo’s for Leo season - anyway! Aries are great at starting projects and very action-oriented, however they get easily distracted and often have many incomplete projects on the go. Speaking of “go!” Aries prefers to work over rest.


Morning Ritual: Turn up some music and start your morning with exercise so that you’re ready to take on the goals for the day. Break a sweat in any form of movement you love. Following your workout, drink plenty of water and fuel with a protein shake. Before diving into your to-do list, Take a moment of mindfulness. This could be a deep breath, setting an intention, or checking in with yourself. It’s easy to disconnect from yourself when you’re always on the go, so this one is important to include.


Evening Ritual: In the evenings dear Aries, focus on tying up the loose ends from the day. Wrap up the projects you started in the morning so that you can allow your mind to relax. Because you are always taking action and have lots of pent up energy - even in the evening - you would benefit from a quick stretch or a set of jumping jacks to burn off that energy before heading to bed. It might sound counter-intuitive to others, but a stimulating evening activity is the perfect way for you to wind down and transition to sleep.


[9:42] TAURUS (April 20 - May 20)

Taurus enjoy the finer things in life. You tend to move organically through your days and your life and unlike Aries, prefer rejuvenation over action. Since Taurus is ruled by the planet Veus - a planet that governs love, beauty, and money - it will come as no surprise that nurturing your connection to loved ones, and self care are very important to you.


Morning Ritual: There is no need to rush in the mornings Taurus. Make sure you have lots of time to get ready for the day. Taurus is a sign well known for its appetite and love of food, and breakfast is a must! Indulge in a delicious meal, sit and enjoy your coffee, and allow yourself extra time to choose an outfit for the day. 


Evening Ritual: An ideal evening ritual for you Taurus is to gather all the cozy blanks and snuggle up with your loved ones (kids, partner, or pets). After dinner enjoy a delicious dessert or glass of wine, do a face mask before heading to bed. While getting ready for bed, play your favourite music, dim the lights and fluff your pillows. Allow yourself to separate mentally and physically from the day. 


[11:00] GEMINI (May 21 - June 20)

Gemini’s are the social butterflies of the zodiac. You are playful, quick thinker, intellectually curious, and genuinely love connecting with people. You tend to find routines boring and prefer to mix things up on the regular.


Morning Ritual: Rise and shine Gemini, the day is yours for the taking, and the talking. The morning is like a green light: wake up and send those emails and texts. Connecting with others gives you the energy you need for the day. While reading the headlines, and sharing interesting articles with friends is part of your routine, incorporate inspiration into your mornings. A perfect ritual for you would include reading a page of an inspirational book, or an app that sends you a motivational quote for the day. Something to stimulate your mind, and set a positive tone for the day ahead.


Evening Ritual: A wonderful evening ritual for you Gemini is spending time connecting with your family or friends. Give them a call or FaceTime them in the evening. With a different conversation, or even a different person, you’ll never get bored. 


[12:09] CANCER (June 21 - July 22)

Cancer is ruled by the moon. This sign is all about self-care, nurturing, and comfort. You are a homebody and can be sensitive to your surroundings, so keep this in mind when getting cozy in your space. You also value your alone time while also being an incredible caretaker and hostess with the mostess!


Morning Ritual: An ideal morning for you Cancer involves spending some time with your pets or garden. Speak to them and nurture them, adding some sweetness to your morning. Take a shower or a bath first thing in the morning and visualize it washing off your sleep and rejuvenating you for the day. You can also spend the time in the bath or shower meditating and relaxings as you focus on your goals.


Evening Ritual: You’ve probably spent a lot of the day surrounded by, or helping others, so you’ll be needing a retreat from the world. Before getting cozy in bed, take a long soak in the tub (hot shower if you don’t want to bath). But like really get into this ritual, really soak in the tub for a solid 30 minutes and mentally, and let’s be honest emotionally, wash away the day. If you’re up for more of a social evening, spend time preparing a delightful meal for your friends and/or family as caring and hosting others brings you joy.

Share your signs and rituals with me on instagram @vallavignelife

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Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

Categories

Download the FREE Dream Lifestyle Roadmap

Follow on Instagram

 
E141: Rituals for the Signs Part 1 of 2
 
 

E141: Rituals for the Signs (Part 1 of 2)

Combining my love and curiosity for astrology with my passion for helping others with their wellness through healthy habits. Here are the first six signs of the rituals for your zodiac series…


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[5:11] LEO (July 23 - August 22)

Leos are the royalty of the zodiac, and are known for their playfulness, high-energy, and creativity. You are the one at the parties basking in the spotlight and celebrating yourself. But when the bright-burning flame of Leo burns out… They are done for the day.


Morning Ritual: Tap into your creativity in the mornings. You can do this through writing, choosing a bold outfit, or singing to your favourite songs in the shower. Your morning ritual is never boring because you always show up playful and ready to step into the spotlight. In fact you can do so by jumping on insta stories or posting that new TikTok.


Evening Ritual: As a social lion(ess) you are, incorporating others into your evening routine with a dinner party, a games night, or a social gathering would be an ideal evening ritual. Don’t worry, this doesn’t have to mean a party every night of the week, it could also mean family dinner followed by a quick game of Catan or cards or maybe charades! Perhaps you FaceTime a friend before bed, or maybe an online game before resting your head for a long, deep sleep.


[6:35] VIRGO (August 23 - September 22)

Virgo’s approach life logically, practically, and systematically. You are very task-oriented and enjoy being busy. It seems as though you’ve always got one eye on the to-do list and you’ve already started making tomorrow’s to-do list. Tidiness, organization, and personal development are very important to you.


Morning Ritual: Your to-do list is already organized and ready for the day. Of course you have a solid morning routine mapped out, but self-care needs to be prioritized if you’re going to take on the day with precision. Make your bed, take a few mindful breaths, set your daily intention, and take your time with your hygiene routine so that your mind is sharp and clear first thing in the day.


Evening Ritual: If you haven’t already done so Virgo, the evening is the perfect time for you to cross off your to-do lists for today. Wrap up any lingering tasks and then prepare your goals and action steps for tomorrow. Before heading up to bed, “kiss your kitchen good-night” by cleaning up the last of the dinner dishes, wiping down the countertops, and perhaps putting out your coffee mug and spoon for the next morning. Spend time winding down with a self-help book, your journal, or listening to an inspiring podcast.


[8:15] LIBRA (September 23 - October 22)

Libras adore high art, intellectualism, connoisseurship, and aesthetics. Appearance and one-on-one connection are important to you. You value putting effort and attention into how you look, as well as real conversations. 


Morning Ritual: You know that the morning is important for setting the tone for the day, and your morning is all about creating balance. You do this through your daily yoga practice or tai chi. After your sun salutations and breathwork, spend time putting yourself together, from hair to makeup, your whole outfit, and anything in between. Now you’re ready to take on the day with confidence.


Evening Ritual: An ideal evening for you dear Libra would be to connect with your partner, FaceTime a friend, write a letter, or send a handmade card. It’s also the perfect time for you to put down your phone, pick up the latest fiction novel or travel magazine and be transported to another place. Before you escape mentally, lay out your well-thought out outfit for tomorrow.


[9:39] SCORPIO (October 23 - November 21)

Scorpio is a passionate, intuitive and emotional water sign. You are known to be a little psychic and/or clairvoyant at times. Although this has it’s advantages, it can also leave you feeling quite emotionally drained and exhausted because you tend to take on the energy of others. Speaking of energy you are not afraid to work hard for your goals and are in it for the long game.


Morning Ritual: Intensity and extremes excite you so why not incorporate that into your morning. Pick your poison each morning, a cold shower, a HIIT class, or a list of hairy scary goals to take on today. You are a force of energy and your intention is to THRIVE, but don’t get caught up in other people’s ish… protect yourself with a mindful meditation covering your aura and not letting other people’s energy latch on like a leech to your determination. 


Evening Ritual: Connect to your element Scorpio and soak in a warm bath. Line the tub with some candles, or get out some epsom salts, essential oils and crystals to conjure up a little relaxation and release potion for your soak. This will help you leave any heaviness for the day behind you as well as reconnect to your power for a more restful sleep. For a quicker version of this ritual, have a shower before bed and visualize the energy and emotions you carry washing off your body and aura. Then light a candle before bed and write your gratitudes in your journal.



[11:55] SAGITTARIUS (November 22 - December 21)

Sagittarius is honest, intellectual, and optimistic. You are a lover of freedom, beauty, inspiration and contemplation. Hilarious, honest, and usually with a lot of your friends; socializing and collaborative activities bring you joy. You have lots of energy and enjoy getting physical and going on adventures.


Morning Ritual: Good morning Sagittarius, spontaneity is calling your name. Take a new route to work, press shuffle on your podcast playlist, or open to a random page in your book on motivational quotes. Oh and wake up a little earlier so you can tap into your soul’s cravings and indulge in last-minute adventures. Each morning has its own workout and you’re usually meeting a friend to try the latest class and the hottest studios. 


Evening Ritual: Your ideal evening ritual combines your need for movement and beauty by taking a walk or doing a yoga practice under the stars. Of course you love the company, so invite a friend or your partner and appreciate the sparkling evening sky together. The evening is a wonderful time for you to catch up on the next episode of a docu-series you’ve been watching, and journal, before your mindfulness/meditation practice before snuggling into bed.


[13:31] CAPRICORN (December 22  - January 19)

Of all the zodiac signs Capricorn is the hardest-working. You are ambitious, determined, strong, and value getting ahead in life. You can multitask like a pro and you’ve always got a project going on whether that be at home or at work. 


Morning Ritual: Your ideal morning starts with organization. Write out your list of everything you want to accomplish. Prioritize your list, then schedule your tasks into the calendar, because as you know: what gets scheduled is what gets done. Kickstart your motivated morning with a quick cardio class and tackle the tasks list.


Evening Ritual: The evening for you is about spending time wrapping up your projects. Once the boxes are checked off for your work tasks, you can take care of the personal projects and give the attention to your home, or perhaps an upcoming trip. Getting ish done helps you relax and if there is still time leftover in the day before the pillow calls your name, you can fish off the book you’ve been reading on your nightstand, or pack your gym bag, lunch bag, and work bag to make for a more productive morning the next day.


Share your sign and morning/evening rituals with me on Instagram @vallavignelife


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Next week we’ll discuss the second half of the zodiac signs 

Episode 142: Rituals for the Signs Part Two

 

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E140: 10 Ways to Show Up for Yourself
 
 

E140: 10 Ways to Show Up for Yourself

Today I’m sharing 10 ways to show up for yourself. Before we dive into the main points, I wanted to share why I felt this was so important…


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For those of you who may not already know this, I am a Healthy Habit Mentor. I completed my Health Coaching certification I think four years ago now and while discovering my own strengths, passions, and purpose I uncovered my gifts in helping others develop impactful habits, routines, and rituals. The little actions that seem insignificant, but lead to MASSIVE growth and transformation are what I’m all about.


And as much as I support my one-on-one mentorship clients with their day to day habits, the real growth and change need to come from you. I can definitely help you create, start, and focus on the right action steps. I can absolutely hold you accountable for the work, and I will show up for you and your goals. 


But I can not do the daily habit for you. I can not take action for you. YOU my darling, need to show up for yourself too. 


Now I’m thrilled to tell you that just by reading the show notes to this episode you’ve made the first move and completed an action that supports positive change for your life. If you’re ready to learn AND take action on the deeper work, then please, continue reading.


Let’s begin…


[3:34] Number One: Commit to Habits, Practices, Routines, and Rituals that support your health and well-being, even when you don’t feel like it.


Our daily habits and practices are either helping us or hurting us but they are always working. Meaning we have good and bad habits and depending on which ones we are doing and nurturing, well the outcome will correlate to the type of habit. 


Showing up for ourselves means committing to the supportive habits, even when we’re not feeling like it. I can’t tell you how many times I thought “but I don’t want to floss tonight” and then I flossed anyway. Or “I don’t feel like working out” and then I did it anyway. Each time feeling SO MUCH BETTER for sticking to the healthy habit. 


It’s true, we’re not always going to want to do the uncomfortable, healthy thing every time. But that’s what honouring yourself is. It’s doing the tough work, it’s staying consistent with the healthy habit, it’s understanding that lasting change takes time and not everyone succeeds, because not everyone is willing to do the work.


[4:51] Number Two: Learn to Forgive Yourself. Each and every one of us has made mistakes, we all have a past, we aren’t perfect. 


We know that showing up means doing the work, and we also know that missing a day doesn’t mean we fail. Consistency doesn’t mean every day, it means never giving up.


Which is why learning to forgive ourselves is so crucial. The next time we forget something, or we don’t know the answer, or we get “off track,” take a moment to pause, breathe, and redirect the energy to a more supportive action. Like letting go, self-compassionate thoughts, or getting back on track again. 


I have a previous podcast episode on forgiveness rituals if you would like to go deeper into this work for yourself.

E119: Forgiveness Rituals


[5:58] Number Three: Allow Yourself to Feel ALL the Feels, Judgement-Free!. We are human beings, and along with our strengths, passions, mistakes, and shortcomings we also experience emotions. 


Honour those feelings. Lean into them so that you can truly feel them and then allow them to pass. It’s okay to feel hurt, angry, sad, happy, proud, excited, etc. 


What isn’t okay is to let ourselves get caught up in the feelings and wallow or languish. There is and will always be another side to the feelings we have, including the good ones. 


Release the need to judge ourselves for feeling upset. It’s better to feel it and then release it, so we can move forward.


[6:55] Number Four: Another way we can show up for ourselves is by Listening to What We Need. Part of connecting to our emotions and feelings is also learning to understand them, and learning to understand ourselves.


Each of us has different needs, and there will be different ways to meet our different needs. Enjoy the process of getting to know yourself more. 


How are you feeling right now?

What do you want to be doing/pursuing/thinking/speaking?


Not asking, what would the other person in my space want to eat or watch or visit, what do I want to eat/watch/go?

What does self care mean to you?

How do you define boundaries?

Where/when do you experience pleasure?


Keep the questions going, journal them if you feel called to. I sometimes call this dating yourself, because really you’re discovering who you are, and all the things that make you special, and beginning to fall in love with yourself. 


[8:06] Number Five: Allow Yourself to Start Over. It doesn’t matter where in life, your career, your projects, your relationships, or wherever else you are, you CAN start again. This is part of making mistakes, learning curves, learning about yourself, and growing. 


Start over if you need to. Start over again. As many times as you need. 


This is your journey and not anyone else's. You do you boo.


[8:40] Number Six: Remind Yourself that You Are Worthy. I saw this video on Instagram of a little girl who hurts herself and her mom says, “Repeat after me: I am strong, I am brave, I am worthy.” And you know what… When I’m feeling down, I take a deep breath and say the same things to myself. 


When you start believing and reminding yourself that you are worthy you are not only showing up for yourself, but you are showing up for the other women and people around you. 


Standing in your light and power gives others to do the same, AND it also teaches others how to treat you. This is huge. Also listen up, especially my wooey peeps… knowing your worth attracts abundance and all the things you are manifesting, because just like how it teaches others how to treat you, it tells the Universe how you are worthy of your desires and dreams.


Let that sink in for a moment.


[9:50] Number Seven: Prioritize Your Health. This is part of knowing your worth. Taking care of yourself and prioritizing your health screams I AM WORTHY!


Stay hydrated, nourish your body with whole foods, get enough sleep, and move your body daily. Do the things that help you glow from the inside out. 


One of my favourite sayings is: A healthy woman has a thousand wishes, a sick woman has one.” 


We’ve all felt ill at one point in time and I know that when I’m sick, the ONLY THING I want is to feel better. Preventative health, our supportive habits, and taking care of ourselves is the foundation to living a fuller life; to showing up for ourselves and our goals.


I am often reminding my clients that healthy can be simple, and fitness can be fun. Let this become part of your lifestyle.


Since I started prioritizing my daily hydration I have noticed a huge change in my overall energy, mood, cravings, sleep, digestion, and skin! I drink at least half my body weight in ounces of water every day and I am very consistent with it. I also use tools and tracking apps to help me with these types of habits and they’ve kept me on track for over 60 consecutive days.


I use a bluetooth water bottle that tracks your water and connects to an app on your phone to measure your progress. It also has a glow light at the bottom that lights up to remind you to drink. You can also turn on notifications on your phone to remind you when to drink.  


[11:51] Number Eight: Give Yourself Permission to Rest. Oh boy, here’s one I am constantly reminding myself of. Rest is NOT a reward. Rest is part of life, part of taking action, part of growth and development. 


Resting allows us to recharge and re-energize for the work to come. We NEED rest. Our bodies and our minds need rest. Just like how meeting our needs will look different, so will how we take our rest and what that looks like.


Sometimes rest for me is 20 minutes of uninterrupted “me time.” It also looks like getting 8 hours of sleep every night. Often it means scheduling rest into my calendar, especially during the busy weeks.


For others it might mean a midday nap, or only putting 3-5 things on the to-do list every day. It might mean asking for help, or starting the day with a self-care routine. 


Rest is crucial and part of prioritizing our health. 


[13:13] Number Nine: Another way to show up for yourself is to Spend Quality Time with You! This is a great way to get to know who you are, and what you love. Reading, writing, crafting and creating. Maybe it’s spending time in nature or stretching on your yoga mat. 


Are you a knitter? Painter? Do you enjoy cooking new meals? Reading in coffee shops? Taking long luxurious bubble baths? 


Quality time with yourself is time well spent! Schedule this into your calendar if you need to.


[13:45] Number Ten: Invite Curiosity and Compassion into Everything You Do. Personal development can be really fun and exciting and it can also get a little awkward or uncomfortable at times. That’s because the magic happens outside of our comfort zones and that means taking uncomfortable action, trying new things, meeting new people, discovering ALL the parts of ourselves. 

I sometimes think of personal development like a really wild thunderstorm. It can be loud, and startling. We’re thinking, “when is the downpour going to end!?” and eventually the clouds part and a rainbow appears. It’s beautiful and mesmerizing and suddenly the rainstorm didn’t seem so bad. 


Ask yourself tough questions, take leaps and be compassionate in all the things you're trying and doing. If you’re showing up for yourself every day, you’re doing a great job. Like I said, you’re already on the right track by reading this episode and podcast. 


Join me on Instagram this week @vallavignelife to continue the conversation about how we show up for ourselves. Tag me in your stories or posts about personal development and all the things - I absolutely love connecting with you there.

 

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E138 How to Eliminate Bad Habits (What's Worked for Me)
 
 

E138 How to Eliminate Bad Habits

Every single person on this planet has bad habits. Even I have bad habits, and I’m a Healthy Habit Mentor for goodness sake. My intention for this episode is to offer you some solutions and practices that you can use to support you in your journey to becoming the best version of yourself. 

I am only sharing what has worked for me or for my clients, and I’ll even use examples of the methods in action. As you’re listening to the content today I invite you to hear and feel, which of the solutions might be best for you.


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If you’re working through a bad habit currently, I would suggest trying out one or two of the methods I’m going to share and then go through them all to find the best fit.


At one point or another all of these styles have worked, and usually for different habits, as you will soon hear. So don’t be discouraged if you try one and it doesn’t fit quite right, you won’t know until you try. 


After listening to this episode, and truly making the effort for each of the practices I can confidently say that one of them is bound to work. Now, there might be a deeper root of concern if one or more of these practices don’t work. In this case, I would love to invite you into my Make a Habit Mentorship Program, as I mentioned at the beginning of this episode. If you feel called to join, or learn more, you can visit www.valerielavignelife.com/mentorship or contact me to see if we’re the best fit www.valerielavignelife.com/contact

[3:33] Education + Intention

Lasting change and transformation typically come from a very deep intention. In other podcast episodes I mentioned the importance of intention and how this can also be called our “why power.” WHY do we want to eliminate this bad habit? WHY do we want to make the change? Knowing the answer to this question will be the foundational motivation you need to make the change, and have it be a lasting change.


A simple practice I’ve used for myself, and in my coaching is to ask why, and then keep asking. Going through this helps uncover layers of meaning and eventually brings you to those deeper roots. Sometimes the answers can be very intense, so be honest, and be gentle with yourself. And other times, usually when we aren’t being honest enough with ourselves, we come up against some blocks/walls/speed bumps/etc. The important part here is to breathe, trust, and keep moving toward that meaning. 


This method also involves doing a little more research, and educating ourselves on 


My example: 2-Month sugar detox

Several years ago I started to learn more and more about the dangers of consuming too much sugar.


I thought I was really healthy, and eating foods that were labeled healthy… however they had many hidden sugary ingredients and to my surprise I was eating more sugar than I ever thought! Form low-fat yogurt to fruit smoothies, store-bought granola bars, and more I was eating tons of sugar. 


So I bought a book by Sara Wilson called I Quit Sugar and the first maybe chapter or two of the book went into more detail of the negative effects of sugar, how it is hidden behind different names, the science of glucose, fructose, lactose, and dextrose and so on and so forth. The book also shared an 8-week plan on how to detox from sugar and recipes to incorporate during the 8-weeks.


I used this research and data as motivation for me to eliminate fructose from my diet for those full 8-weeks. I didn’t eat refined sugar, fruit, and certain vegetables. I will say it was one of the most difficult, and one of the most rewarding things I have ever done for myself.


Since that detox many moons ago, I have continued to remove certain sauces, foods, and snacks from my diet. I now eat fruits, vegetables, and definitely still eat chocolate again, but my sugar consumption has most definitely changed and I’m very happy for that. Education and intention were a huge part of me taking action because let me tell you this was TOUGH!


Not only can we do some education on why this bad habit is so bad, but also what the future of our lives looks like, should we continue this bad habit. 


One of my favourite examples that explains this is from the book The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy.

He uses the example of three friends with three different evening routines. The first friend A comes home from work and decides he’s going to spend 30 minutes working out, 30 minutes reading a personal development book, and 30 minutes learning how to take better videos and pictures because he wants to use his camera when he spends time with his family and kids.


Friend B decides his evening routine stays the same as it always has.


Friend C chooses to come home, relax in front of the TV and drink a beer or two before dinner and bed.


In the book there is a graphic of a chart showing the projection of these three friends over a period of time. I don’t have the book in my hands right now so I’m saying this from memory, but after 6-12 months there isn’t THAT much change in the three friends. In fact, the lines on this line chart are all the same at the middle of the chart. 


But as time goes on, the lines start to change. With more time, the line representing Friend A starts to move in an upward motion. The line for friend B remains the same and steady along the middle of the chart. Friend C’s line also changes, but in a downward motion.


In the book, and I’m paraphrasing, Hardy shares that Friend A has lost weight and gained strength over the last 1-5 years and he is in better shape than he’s ever been with more energy than ever. He also got a promotion at work because he’s been implementing his personal development strategies from the books he’s been reading every night. AND he’s really great at using his camera and editing software and has even made some great home videos for the family. He’s become closer to his kids through this time. 


Friend B’s life hasn’t changed much. He’s feeling pretty stagnant actually, at the same job, always doing the same thing.


Friend C, as you can probably guess has gained some weight, is less energized, and not enthusiastic about his work or his home life. The list of problems went on in the book, and to be honest I remember more how I felt reading the story and it also motivated me to take action in my life.


As you’re thinking about your current routines, and bad habits, where can you see the negative impacts of these habits, and how could they be affecting your health and life for the long term? Motivated yet?

[10:41] Here’s the next method I want to share: Add Rather Than Subtract

When it comes to eliminating a bad habit, it’s actually a lot easier to add in a good habit and replace it with the bad habit, versus just not doing the bad habit any more.


My example: Less screen time, meant more time outside (walking, basketball, hiking)

Personally I have been appalled with the amount of time I spend looking at a screen every day that I’ve started to brainstorm and incorporate different activities instead of sitting at my computer, scrolling on my phone, or watching TV.


This morning for example I left my phone at home and went for a short walk around the block. Yesterday Craig and I went to the school near our house and shot some hoops together instead of watching TV, and I brought my book to bed to read a few pages instead of mindlessly scrolling on my phone.


Think of some different things you could be doing instead of the bad habit. Leaving my phone at home, or in another room was also really helpful because I would have had to get up and go grab my phone if I wanted to look at it. Or because it wasn’t on me I couldn’t check it. It wasn’t even an option.

[12:07] Another great way to replace a bad habit is to simplify the transition into the new habit. With my example of lack of movement I wanted to get back into the workouts I hadn’t been doing for OVER A YEAR! What worked…?

Simplify It… Again


I used to have an epic morning routine before the pandemic. I exercised, drank a litre of water, showered, and journalled before 8am most days. Then the pandemic. Gyms closed, my main source of income GONE, I was scared. The daily practice that kept me mentally well and physically strong was gone, and I started sleeping in and skipping my alternate workouts. The excuses got easier to make, and time went by more and more.


Fourteen months later… well you know how the chart works!


My example: Getting back into my workouts

I knew I wanted to get back into my workouts and I also knew that it wasn’t going to look the exact same as it did before. I wasn’t going to wake up at 5:30am when I was currently waking up at 7am. 


So I kept things really simple.

Day one: write out the workouts for the week, schedule them into my calendar

Day two: prep my clothes, new trainers, and music

Day three: do the workout.

Day four: do the next workout.

Etc.


And it worked! I’m on week 5 of my consistent workouts average 3-4x per week! I’m tracking my workouts and I know I’m getting stronger every week, and that feels really good. 


I literally had to make the steps soooo simple, as simple as lay out your clothes the day before. But that’s what it took.


Your turn, how can you simplify your new, better habit? How can you simplify it again?



[15:05] Tell EVERYONE! Better yet, document the whole thing on social media

I wanted to get my body moving more so I worked my way up from 4000 steps a day to 10000 a day by sharing the process with my social media network through instagram stories.


Organically it created some healthy competition, and there were a lot of people joining in the conversation and with the habit. 


People were sharing photos of their walks, screen-shots of their daily step count and it was so much fun! It also helped me stay accountable.



[16:45] Remove Distractions + Set Up Reminders/Triggers

I have a love-hate relationship with flossing, and honestly I love the way my mouth feels when I floss consistently - LOL yes I heard it too HAHAHA


I don’t bring my phone with me when I brush my teeth and I use brushing my teeth as the trigger to flossing. I brush first and then I floss. It helps me stack my habits. The other OBVIOUS trigger is to keep my floss right beside my toothbrush.



Think about the distractions and the bad habits that you’re doing, think about what you’re also avoiding by doing this habit?


Set yourself up for success by removing the limitations and set up your reminders + triggers so you can stack your habits.


[19:56] Reward Yourself 

At this point, I’d like to bring awareness as to why our bad habits feel so good. It’s because they reward us with comfort. Comfort is a common purpose behind our habits and since our brains are wired for rewards, we start to crave more each time we feel comfort.


In the decision making process, our brains cannot differentiate good from bad. It DOES understand comfortable and uncomfortable. 


That second chocolate chip cookie, that like on instagram, and that time you decided to binge watch Sex/Life, all triggered a release of Dopamine, the feel good hormone. 


It’s not wonder we keep doing the damn thing.


The bad habit is usually easier to do, than to replace with a more helpful or healthy habit since we (unconsciously link it to discomfort.


What are some of the feel good bad habits you want to break?


Then think about what discomfort you COULD DO and if it’s THAT much more worth it to sit on your booty vs work your booty?



With the right boundaries you can also use your bad habit as a reward. For example, if I read 1 page of my book I can scroll on my phone.


The boundaries are: the phone has to be in a separate room and the scroll has to be limited to 15 minutes.


[23:47] Get Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable

This might be the most important one. I learned this a long time ago when it came to my business and personal development growth, but I hadn’t thought about it as a habit building/transforming until recently.


Through the discomfort we grow.


The magic happens OUTSIDE of our comfort zone, so GET OUT of your comfort zone by doing the uncomfortable good habit.


If you are ready to scale your growth, your transformation, to reach the best version of yourself, I invite you to connect with me.


Email me at www.valerielavignelife.com/contact to chat more about whether or not the Make a Habit Mentorship is right for us.


Let’s continue today’s conversation on instagram @vallavignelife

 

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E134: Balancing the Masculine & Feminine Energies in Life & Business
 
 

E134: Balancing the Masculine & Feminine Energies in Life & Business

Live your life, and run your business in flow when you learn to activate, engage, and balance your masculine & feminine energy…


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[2:42] Alright! Today we are talking about two energies: Masculine and Feminine. In tantra they are known as SHIVA & SHAKTI (respectively).  Both masculine and feminine energies exist within men and women. These energies will vary based on the person, and the important piece is to activate both parts and create a balance between them. One is not better or lesser than the other, there is no right or wrong. The goal we’re focusing on today is balance.


My intention for this episode is to help you understand which of the two energies you’ve been activating and how you can create a flow of these complimenting parts of you. Engaging and balancing both sides can support our businesses, relationships, and overall health and well-being including emotional and mental health.


If you’ve listened to the show before you probably already know that I’m all about ACTION! I like to say, action is where the magic happens; through action we achieve results. However, action can be taken with either the masculine or feminine energy.


[4:06] In Alisa Vitti’s book Woman Code she shares with us what these two energies “look like in action” and I’m going to read them and share them with you here.


Taken from the book Woman Code by Alisa Vitti:

Masculine Energy:

  • Tenaciously pursuing what you want

  • Deciding when/where/how a project grows

  • Focusing on the end result, less on process

  • Focusing on one thing at a time

  • Relying on only yourself and your individual achievements

  • Setting boundaries around emotions and body in order to accomplish goals

  • Relating through camaraderie, entertainment, and problem solving


Feminine Energy:

  • Magnetically attracting what you want

  • Holding the space for projects to develop at their natural pace

  • Enjoying the process of creation independent of the end result

  • Seeing the big picture; multitasking on many aspects of life

  • Working with others; effortlessly creating community 

  • Connecting to emotional and physical life as a catalyst for change and development

  • Relating to others by listening, sharing, and nurturing


Imbalance of the Shiva and Shakti energy can take a toll on our physical bodies, and our businesses. Here are some signs of imbalance.


Overly masculine energy looks and feels like: burnout, overworking, adrenal fatigue, stress, disconnection from our body and emotions, and lack of rest/trouble falling asleep.


Overly feminine energy looks and feels like: many incomplete projects, perfectionism, overly emotional, lack of direction and focus, not grounded, avoiding details or certain tasks, and lack of energy and motivation.


[7:12] TAKE ACTION: What is your masculine/feminine balance? Go through your day and ask yourself which energies you are engaging and activating when it comes to. I’ll give you seven areas of the day, and some examples of the energies in these parts of the day, and you keep score of which energy you take on for this part of your day.


1: Your morning routine and how you wake up: (masculine) you’re awake and thinking about the day ahead, you’ve got your to do list mapped out and your schedule blocked off, you’re ready to check the boxes.

(feminine) you wake up and check in with your body to connect with how it’s feeling. Self care is a large part of your routine and you might do a mediation, a skincare ritual, or enjoy your time in a warm shower. As the morning continues, you also continue to check in with yourself.


2: The bulk of your day, and work: (masculine) one task at a time, you’re checking off the to-do list and you’re not stopping until it’s done. Always pushing to finish the work.

(feminine) you know that things will always come together and intuitively choose the task that you want to work on. Work is prioritized by the tasks that have the most impact and value.


3: Your social engagements: (masculine) other people don’t need to know how you’re feeling or what’s going on with you, this is something you can problem solve on your own.

(feminine) You’re open to sharing with friends about how you’re feeling and are comfortable with hearing the input and support from them.


4: Meals: planning, prepping, eating: (masculine) you’re sticking to your diet plan, even when it’s not serving you, sometimes you forget to eat because you’re busy working on tasks.

(feminine) your day is planned in advance and you’ve made sure there is time for meals, as well as food available for when you need it. You observe when your body is hungry and nourish it.


5: Exercise: (masculine) you know your fitness goal for the month and your workout gets you there. No matter what, you always push through.

(feminine) You choose your work out based on how you’re feeling that day. You always do your best, and what your body is capable of.


6: Time spent with your romantic partner: (masculine) you want to talk about what you’ve accomplished that day, and lounge in front of the TV, or scrolling through social media.

(feminihne) you want to talk about how you’re feeling, and make time to connect through cooking together, eating together, going for a walk, or downtime before bed.


7: Your evening routine: (masculine) the end of the day involves organizing the house, cleaning up the kitchen, and finishing the laundry. You’re ready for your next day’s to-do list.

(feminine) You look for ways to connect with your partner, pets, or kids and prefer soothing self care like bubble baths, gua sha, or reading to end the day. 


[11:12] When you’ve revealed your score, remember that the goal is balance. The first time I did this exercise I noticed that my weekends, when I wasn’t committed to working a set schedule, were very faminine, and my weekdays were more masculine. The balance might not have been during the whole day, but I stepped back and saw it as a weekly score and recognized that I wanted to create more balance during the week as a whole so I brought in more feminie energy into my weekdays.


There will be seasons in your life where more masculine energy is needed, for example, when you're in launch mode of your offering. The same goes for feminine seasons: during content creation as an example. The really wonderful part of all of this is that YOU get to decide what balance means to you! 


Through the (feminine) habit of checking in with our bodies, and ourselves, we’ll start to notice whether or not our shiva and shakti are in balance. To make sure we check in, we can use the (masculine) habit of scheduling in this time into our calendars, and adding it in as part of our to-do list and make sure it gets done.


[12:45] Now it’s your turn to put this into play for yourself. Take a look at your scorecard, and notice where you can incorporate more balance. Perhaps you switch up your evening routine with some journaling and reading instead of folding the laundry. 


Maybe you want to try a structured morning to get you moving and starting the day. Eventually you’ll find the best balance for yourself, and what works for you and your energy!

Share your practices with me on instagram @vallavignelife

 

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E133: Elevating Your Morning Routine
 
 

E133: Elevating Your Morning Routine with Alexandra Panagoulia of Batch Beauty Lab

Meet the founder of Batch Beauty Lab, business consultant, and philanthropist, Alexandra Panagoulia in this week’s episode of the Women’s Empowerment Podcast as she shares her high-vibe morning routine and the best practices for making our mornings better…


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[2:13] Valerie LaVigne: Welcome back to The Women's Empowerment Podcast today I'm super excited to introduce you to our newest guest Alexandra Panagoulia. Alexandra is an entrepreneur and business strategy consultant with a strong passion for creating a positive social impact with a love for all things wellness and self discovery, Alexandra created batch beauty lab, a local natural skincare brand to promote confidence individuality and self care, naturally, a one woman show determined to make a difference, Alexandra is also passionate about helping young women pursue their passions through her consultancy white owl strategy, Alexandra dedicates time monthly to speak with aspiring entrepreneurs and help to guide them in the direction of pursuing their dream.



Wow, you are so cool.



I'm so happy to have you on the show and honestly I already know this about you, but reading your bio. I just feel like you are such an Aquarius, and I love this so much, a teacher, a leader, a philanthropist. You know you do so many things and you help so many people so I'm super excited to have you on the show today, super excited to absorb all of your knowledge and information. So thank you so much for being here.



Alexandra Panagoulia:: Thank you so much for having me. I'm really excited



VL: how we met was about probably about a year ago now, through a kind of like minded community of entrepreneurs in the make lemonade online networking community so I think it's really excited to, to see how kind of our relationship has grown over the last year, and we've kind of popped in colors to social media now and then, we've reconnected, more so recently, and one of the things I love about following you and watching you and learning more about viewing and getting to know you as a person, is that you have some really incredible, kind of like self care habits and rituals, and some of them are really similar. So I've been noticing that you've been walking a lot, and tracking your, your walks just like I have been.



AP: Every morning, I love my morning walks. I love walking in the evening too, but there's something about, you know starting your day outside, creating a call within yourself and just acknowledging and appreciating the environment that we're in, and I think that it's really powerful for me to start my day.



Greeting the sun or walking outside and just getting my body moving and waking up slowly and really special and I've been walking every morning.



More so, you know, the beginning of the pandemic, it was a great way to get outdoors and change the scenery and when I was working my corporate job. I was walking to the bus stop every morning, but I was definitely not enjoying my surroundings and I was running around and always rushing and I think that the shift from walking as, like, a means to get somewhere and rushing and it's really been different for me when I'm walking to enjoy it to create a ritual for myself and clarity within myself, and also a sense of calm so it's been great. It's been a great transition for me.



VL: Yeah, I love that I think what you said was really cool about how, you know, it's a, there's a new intention or a new purpose behind your morning walks and your morning routine versus what you were doing before. So for those listeners who haven't explored your website before or know much about you, you, you're used to working corporate and then the last few years, you started your own company, and why don't you tell us a little bit about what batch beauty lab is and how it transpired how its manifested over the last few years.




[6:30] AP: I would love to. And it's a really great question. So, my professional background is in business strategy, marketing and communications. And so coming out of university. I held many corporate typing jobs within marketing communications, so I've worked at tech startups and I've worked in corporate banking. 



But while doing that, I've always had a passion for consulting and just helping people. And so, grow university I started a business called White owl strategy, and at White owl strategy I consult with business entrepreneurs on business strategy but also helping to refine their marketing and communication strategies and something that comes naturally to me and I really do enjoy watching people grow and watching their ideas transpire into businesses, and something that I always want to continue to do.



But when I was doing my master's, I had an opportunity to launch a business, and it was, it started in a school course actually so it was our entrepreneurship course, and I had the opportunity to think about what am I really passionate about and at the time, I was really passionate about living a holistic lifestyle and skincare and natural beauty is something that I've always been really interested in and I thought hey you know what, this is a great time for me to start exploring how I'm going to bring my passion for natural beauty together and beauty brands, my skincare brand. And when I was thinking about what that might look like at the time I was always hosting. Do It Yourself type workshops in my parents kitchen for skincare so do yourself skincare so we were making bath salts or body moisture bars and blending oils and I, that was my aha moment I was like, I'm going to create something where people have the opportunity to experience how great it is to blend and mix and create your own batch of product. And that's where I came up with bajri lab, and the original concept of batch beauty Labs is that you would find your own skincare so we have something very unique and original where customers are able to purchase a base plus booster combines the two to activate a formula, and essentially create their own bathroom product. And so, while I was in that, that master's program, I was working really hard behind the scenes on my business plan I participated in a pitch competition, and I actually got some funding to kickstart the business, and I use that funding to immediately find a chemist who was willing to work with me to create really great natural formulas that people would love.



And now here we are two years later, celebrated our 10 year anniversary of competence for the person who's using them and really celebrate individuality and people onto our website you'll see skincare for the bold and unique, and I find that in everything I do I really want to be bold. I want to be bold in my decisions and I want to embrace my uniqueness and I bought that to come out in our products as well and so that's a little bit of a batch beauty lab and how we got started.



[10:25] VL: That's so amazing. It's been such a short amount of time for this. This transition and this growth and like you said, like, it's not just your business and your lifestyle that's changed but also the smaller kind of habits that you're, you're focusing on, like your morning walks and how they changed from going to the bus stop to being more of this more of a ritual and really kind of opens up where do you use, you said you were grading the sun and slowly waking up but I think there's so much power, and so much beauty in kind of this, this new way of living that you have and how, you know, the corporate life was, I guess we could say and, you know, Jeff and correct me if I'm wrong, but the corporate life, I'd say it was supporting habits of, you know, check it off the box, get from point A to point B, where as this new business has never and batch beauty lab and the mission behind it is supporting a completely new way of living, and I'd love for you to share a little bit more about your morning routine can you take us behind the scenes maybe walk us through a morning into your life.




AP: Absolutely. And, you know, you bring up a really great point, my morning routine has definitely transitioned. And I think that once I had the autonomy to plan my own day and become an entrepreneur who's really invested in the business, I wanted to create a routine that allowed me to really be myself. And, you know, be an entrepreneur who's leading with clarity and purpose and intention. And when it came to creating my own schedule, I'm like, I'm going to create a ritual I need to create a ritual that's going to allow me to be myself throughout the entire day and that really is what my morning ritual is. And so, it's nothing too crazy, but I mean, it means a lot to me and I find that it just got me time in the morning. And so if I'm taking you behind the scenes. I first thing I do when I wake up is I open up my, my blinds. And I just love to embrace the day and greet the sun like I said, I am a certified yoga teacher so like do I really love doing sun salutations when I come out of bed, I just do one little sun salutation, you know, get the body moving, get the blood flowing, and just take some time to set an intention for my day so when I'm opening up the blinds and it's a sunny day or it's a really snowing morning I'm like okay so this is, this is the foundation of what we're dealing with in terms of environment so how am I going to set a positive intention for my day so that I'm going to be productive, how am I going to nourish my body and my mind so that I'm gonna be able to execute on what I want to achieve for the day. So taking time to just, you know, reflect and set an intention is definitely something that's really important to me.



After that, I, I am obsessed with the daily stoic like it's a book that was gifted to me by here here in front of me, it's by Ryan Holiday, it is essentially daily meditations that just, you know, provoke some thought into your day, and I read a page a day. And I think that's great for me to again set intentions. Think about things from a different perspective, and I really really do love to journal so it's something sent out to me that I'm reading then I'll journal about that. But I'll read my daily stoic, and then I'll pick up my five minute journal, and I'll quickly raise my gratitude list so what are the three things that I'm grateful for today. And what is my affirmation for the day so my affirmation today was, I am worthy and capable of achieving all of my dreams. And so, you know, writing an affirmation that is suitable for the day ahead or for not feeling, or just you know what I need to keep going, is something that really resonates with me. So, all of that takes about, I don't know, maybe the first 15 to 20 minutes of my morning and wash up. And I start my day with some more lemon water makes me feel really great. Shout out to my naturopathic doctor, Dr Sarah Duino for just, you know, instilling really great habits, and I think the lemon water is really great one. And then I go straight outside so change into my runners and I go straight outside for a morning walk and that's anything from 20 minutes to 45 minutes and just really enjoying like I said, environment, feeling gratitude, and again, because we built the intention that except for myself for that day, and really taking time to process okay this is what I have upcoming for the day, and this is how I want to show up for the people that I'm interacting with and this is how I want to show up for my business and this is how I want to show up for myself so taking that time in the morning to kind of be a little inverted and and how I want to show up in the world, it's really important for me.



BOOK: The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday

JOURNAL: 5 Minute Journal




[16:23] VL: I love those books that you mentioned.So, is that so many great things I feel like I want to incorporate a lot of the little habits that you are doing. And then some of the things I want to highlight from what you said were the kind of going inward, that introverted time for you to or that introspective time for you to describe how you want to show up each day whether that was the intention or the feeling, or how you how you want to act. And when I want to know from there is, like, can you give us an example for maybe the one that you use for today of what your intention was, and then how does that tangibly relate to the actions you take for the rest of the day?



AP: So, a great question. So today I knew that I had a coaching call with a client, this morning, and I also know that prepatch PT lab, I have my first two hires actually serving this week. And I also was thinking about how I want to show up for the podcast today. So, this morning on my morning walk I really was thinking about the frequency that I want to be in for the rest of my day, I want to be really high vibes for my coaching client. I want her to feel confident about her business I want her to feel confident about the information that we're exchanging and, and I want to exude that for her. I want to support and show up for her in that way. And I knew that I wanted to be authentic. Today when you and I were talking and I also know that after this call when I delve into the work for batch beauty, love I want the new hires to know that I'm here to support them and to help them and to help them grow and that's really important to me. So when you're asking me like what did I do, what did I think about while setting those intentions, how did I decide that that's how I want to show up. I really started to think about, you know, the things that could impact that positive vibe and how I'm going to choose to handle them today. And so, you know, it's not that there's any predisposed situation or environment that I have in mind but you know things come up like a call runs late, or I I'm rushing because I'm actually always rushing but so this, this routine for me is like really great allows me to slow down and, and to gather my thoughts.



But I think it really is just a matter of creating your intention, determining how you want to show up, how do you want to show up in the world, and how are you going to react to things that kind of impede on your plans. And it's hard and it takes a lot of self awareness and it takes a lot of control to be able to decipher your emotions from your actions, but I think that if you could think that you could take time in the morning to set those intentions, and also, you know, determine how you want to show up and how you want to act if things don't go according to plan, just allows a smoother execution of your day when, when things do fall in line.



[20:20] VL: Yeah, that is a great point, and even just thinking of myself this morning, I set the intention to be calm today, and I didn't think too much, but I knew that I had a lot of things to do so.



 from the studio to the podcast to my own consulting, there, there was a lot on the to do list. And I thought, Okay, I'll get an early headstart on the day. I'm going to go to the, I'm going to walk to the post office and deliver my packages first thing in the morning. And on my way and thankfully I figured this out very early on in my walk but on my way. I'm like, oh it's such a beautiful day. Wait a second, it's really early in the morning, Will the post office be open to take these packages, and luckily I had my phone on me and I looked at that and I'm like, no, they're closed, and then I turned around, I'm like okay well like you know I got a little walk in, and now I have to go to the next thing. And part of it was like oh this is kind of throwing me off because in a way I could have, I could have decided and chosen this this situation as, oh my gosh you're just wasting my time. And then I thought well this is just poor planning, and then for some reason I thought this podcast interview was an hour before it actually was so I was like, all set up here in my little closet, getting ready to do that episode and then I'm thinking that's great I'm not getting a notification on my phone that like, five minutes to go, and I will go like, Oh my God it's not for another hour, like, and I just felt like, again another Hiccup and I'm like no I didn't. I was so stressed out about my massive to do list this morning, but I didn't really consider the how I was going to incorporate my intention, and I mean it was it's happening anyway like I remain calm. I was like alright well whatever, go back to the desk, go back to what I was working on before. Then we'll just return here but it's like these little hiccups throughout the day. And you know, that happens sometimes, you know, we set the intention to be calm, we set the intention to be productive and some surprises come away, or we forget something, or we get a call or whatever, and I think it's important to remember that even if we don't get that full morning routine or even when those hiccups arrive at those speed bumps, we can always reset so I know that for this podcast episode I'm going to reset again and maybe I'll do that through a walk or inspiring me to take that action to go through a walk. So, yeah, I love that you're thinking about, you know what you have to do, how are you.



Probably the best kept secret and maybe it's not a secret, but I think it's one of the things that people often forget as entrepreneurs or business owners. We know going out into the world each day, not thinking about how you want to show up and break it down into something more specific. What are you going on today? If you are speaking in front of people, how do you want to show up for them? If you're working on your business, how do you want to do it? How do you want to be in your business? I think it's so important and I love how you are. How are you sharing that so thank you so much, it's just getting so much insight into my own into my own intentions and my own practices.



So you talk about, you know, really believing in achieving clarity, and a life and in business, and yes we can take it into something a little bit more specific and break it down into our day to day. But what about those times where, you know, whether it's maybe it's a lack of clarity. How do we find clarity when we're when we're having trouble with, with that focus. How do we turn off that outside noise?



[24:16] AP: Great question, and I'm a really really strong believer that your actions, the to align with your intentions, and so can make it perfectly clear, and by no means, I have, by no means perfected the morning routine but we're, you know, achieving clarity and it's a constant learning process, but I can see that I've improved on becoming very self aware, and I think that's something, you know, a tangible takeaway is, you want to align your daily actions with your daily intentions, it's really important, so if I want to be successful in business, I want to have an organized workflow and I want customers to land on my website and feel a sense of competence and, you know, like I want them to feel the emotion that I'm putting into my business, I need to make sure that my daily actions are aligned with with those intentions so daily consistent action. I think it is something to play here. You want daily consistent action towards your goal, and I think it's really important, and that daily consistent action needs to be aligned with your intentions, and once you can do that successfully, and you are so aware that what you're doing today does not align with the intention of being confident, powerful, strong, successful, whatever your intention might be called.




If your daily action, if you're self aware enough to recognize that your daily actions aren't aligned with your attentions.



You can make a change in your you'll be able to, you know, be one step closer to achieving your goals and achieving clarity so if my intention for the day is, you know, I just want to have a nice calm productive day and I'm running around and rushing and duplic sorry my actions are not aligned with my attention, and I'm aware enough to recognize that and so I take a step back, like you said my regroup reset, and that's okay. That's actually great it's a great personal development to be able to recognize when you need to take time for yourself, we need to reset. And, you know, take that moment to decide how you want to move forward.



And that is considered to me daily consistent action, that's something that I do, constantly to be able to maintain clarity, and when it comes to, you know, clarity, for my business when I am my most authentic self. That's when I get my best business ideas and that's when the ideas actually work in my favor. So if I'm thinking about something or want to do something but I'm not sure on how to execute it or you know I have this really great idea for a product to bring to market but something I, but I'm unsure I'm unclear on how to do it or even how to execute it's something that I really love to do is just take, take time for myself. So like you said, reset, go for a walk, do some yoga, do some journaling and get back to being my true authentic self, shut out the outside noise. And when I can come back to myself that I'm thinking about, you know my intentions or something that I want to execute on, that's when I get my best ideas, that's when they're working in my favor, that's when they're on my frequency, etc. And I think that if you have clarity within yourself. You can get clarity within other aspects of your life because you are truly authentically, moving forward, fearlessly and confidently yourself. If that is making sense or if I'm just rambling let me know but I think that the authenticity and originality and uniqueness that we all have within ourselves. If that's what creates our personality, those are our characteristics, and finding clarity and taking time to come back to that within yourself, allows for more clarity and other aspects of your life.



[28:35] VL: This is such a deep topic. But as we're talking about it I'm like oh my gosh there's so many pieces to this and there's so many layers to it, and I think the biggest thing, or I guess the thing that I want to amplify and what you're saying is, it doesn't need to be a huge thing that you do every single day it's the small thing that you do and what makes it so powerful is the time is the consistency that small thing over time. And it compounds and it becomes this transformation not overnight, and maybe this is the missing piece for people to say, you know, I want the successful business I want the you know the life where I feel good in my body every single day.



You know what you want, whatever the result is fill in the blank, and we're here doing the okay we did a morning ritual today. Okay, my intention this morning was to be calm. And then tomorrow we're like okay we're not calm anymore. Well this is where the work comes in, is that over time, we're building into this practice, and this goes for everything you said whether it's walking every morning or creating the sun or setting the intention or becoming more true and authentic to yourself. This is also compounding over time. This is also growing each day as you practice it and you know as you're speaking I can, I can speak from my own experience to like, the more that I connect to myself, the more that I make time for this important part of my morning or my day routine.



The more clear I get in my business and I spoke about this on the previous episode, or no, it was an IG live that I did this past week was that I was feeling like I was really struggling, and I'm thinking to myself, How can I not be making sales right now how can I be feeling so horrible in my body, and doing the work I was showing up every single day. I'm doing my routine, I'm speaking authentically like I could not be more real and more present than I am right now. But everything is going to crap.



And this is the time where we need to keep going and maintain that consistency, because I'm not even kidding you. A couple days later, I kept doing it showed up. Wasn't everybody not doing so great, this is what's helping me this is what I'm doing this is how I'm staying consistent. This is not setting intentions and showing up, and within a few days, I had two one on one clients.



I had, you know, the number of people saying like, how inspired they were about my work, how much they enjoyed a podcast episode. I mean, there just was like this, overflowing abundance of all of the things I was desiring and you know people listening to this could say like oh well that morning routines on so lash, and I would love to have the luxury of, you know, a one hour time for myself. And, and you can probably say speak to this too but like, start with passive and credible practice, it started with these little tiny practices that we cleared over time to create something that, that speaks to you, that supports you. So now I'm going off on a tangent and rambling, just so much to what you said that it has, you know these deeper layers of this deeper meaning to it where it's those small actions, small actions consistency I feel like are the three things that if anyone's listening to this podcast episode is going to take something away. These three words together that we need to remember.



[32:44] AP: Yeah, you bring up a great point and you know I have people reach out to me because I really love to document my daily walks on my Instagram or you know just share a little beautiful picture. The trees or the clouds, whatever it might be, but I really want to get out and do that. How do you do it. I have to wake up an hour and a half earlier, to start my day. My day starts at nine o'clock and I know my desk at nine o'clock I know I'm waking up earlier because it's really important to me to check that time and so I think that creating non negotiables for yourself. It's also really important, creating those non negotiables boundaries that allow you to establish that time for yourself, and it doesn't have to be an hour, it can be 15 minutes it can be 15 minutes when you wake up, it can be 30 minutes before you go to the bed but it's really important to take time for yourself. And that's something that I've learned throughout the years, and that's what I think drives me to want to be better and it motivates me because now I understand after, you know, achieving some of my own personal goals, that it's really the daily consistent action, like you said, that makes all the difference, but I wanted to touch on, on the point of something you said earlier, is that sometimes you just, You don't want to wake up and do yoga, or go for a walk or you're tired or you're this is your lens so many things come up, but I heard, I don't I don't remember why I did this but the point is is sometimes when you don't want to do something that's exactly what you need to do if your bodies so I don't want to go over, I don't want to go for a walk or stretch. Sometimes that's exactly what your body needs you to do, or if you know you're, it's fine to have those off days, but it's also really productive to challenge yourself to do something and build your mental endurance, especially when you don't want to do it and I find that there are so many mornings where I'm like, I need to press snooze or I'd love to have like an extra 20 minutes to just like curl up in bed. But then I'm like, You know what, I think my body wants to outside or if my body needs to move, or I need to achieve that mental clarity so I'm gonna challenge myself to get up and even if it's only for 10 minutes this morning.



So, I think, a point that I'd love to share with the audience is that challenge yourself.




And, you know, establish a mental endurance for things that you really really want in life and get them and challenge yourself and create a routine or create intentions and actions that align with what your dream is aligned with what you want to achieve. And I think that it all comes down to self awareness. And, again, sounding really repetitive but the daily consistent action



[36:02] VL: you spoke to so many great points and this year there are going to be days where we're like, I don't want to show up. I don't want to do work. And I will say, the sharing my walks on social media, and people knowing and messaging me and texting me and saying like oh like I went for a walk today and, you know, it's such a beautiful day You inspire me to get outside and that is holding me accountable for my own practices and so having a without social accountability or a healthy habit mentor like when I offer or just a friend. We can meet for those walks or have a phone call when it makes such a difference in maintaining the habit, especially when you're first starting out, you know, you start to lose a little bit of that momentum, well no, you're building momentum but you're losing a little bit of the inspiration and the motivation. So, yeah and you know what there is a little bit of discipline involved in creating any new habit, so whether that's waking up earlier, or, you know, really creating the space and physically putting into your calendar, I'm taking a break, and turn off your computer and turn off your phone when you're on those breaks I think it's really important.



And this is something that I resisted, really long time was discipline, and a routine. It was just so funny now because now I coach people with habits. And I have a very, very colorful schedule was very organized. However, in the, in for a long time I thought I was such a rebel, like, I don't need a norm clock, I don't need a schedule, I don't need to be anywhere doing anything at a certain time like that life is rigid. And what I was completely missing. Was that discipline, equals, freedom, and having these intentions having a you know a little bit more of an outline to my schedule and it's not like incredibly rigid there's there are scheduled breaks in there so some people would find that rigid because I'm scheduling my really it's a non negotiable for me at this time every day, I go for a walk or I turn off the computer or the screen or whatever it is, I spend time outside. That is actually allowing me to create a life of financial freedom of time freedom of just feeling what's important to me and my core value is freedom and for a long time I didn't realize how much the discipline of a routine was actually going to bring me to that place of freedom. So, you know I wouldn't, I always like to encourage people to not hate it until they try it and see if it works you'll learn and experiment with yourself and really give yourself that time. So what would you recommend for someone starting out, what would you recommend, where they start and how long they try their new habit, some checkpoints maybe take us through that little bit.



[39:03] AP: Great question. I would recommend to do something that makes you feel good, makes you feel good, you should be doing it. If it's going for a walk, like we were saying, or journaling or doing a little bit of movement or stretching in your bed or even meditation I love meditating. It makes you feel good, and if it's a habit that you want to start, then you should consider doing it. And you're the habit expert here, so I want to say. I hear that it takes 21 days to form a habit, is that right?



VL: It depends on the person.



AP: Yeah, right. So, I would say. My recommendation would be to do something that makes you feel good, do and at the same time every single day and do it for four weeks three to four weeks, and hold yourself accountable. I love that you brought the accountability point up because that's a really really great point. And if you can have an accountability buddy, or, you know, create a mental contract with yourself like I'm not going to go to bed. Unless I wrote one page in my journal. And you make that a mental contract with yourself and an agreement that, but you really want to stick to that I would recommend doing something like that. I know that before I go to bed before I put my head down on the pillow. I always write three great things that happened during the day, and I keep my, my pen in my notepad beside my bed and I know that that's just an agreement that I have with myself before I go to bed tonight I want to acknowledge three great things that happened today. And so, you know, just to kind of sum up the recommendation, it would be do something that makes you feel good, preferably a habit that you want to start doing for three to four weeks, do it the same time every single day doesn't have to be can be something like one minute meditation or two minutes scratch or whatever works for you.



Guaranteed. If you can do this to it, you'll feel so good you will have a new found confidence in yourself because you're sticking to something that you've agreed to, and you're the only person that can create positive change in your own life. And I think that there's going to be time for it's going to be challenging and it's going to be difficult to stick to your goals but again going back to the point that it's challenging, then you need to do it because it's, it's helping you grow. And I think that that's a really great takeaway for the people listening here today.



[42:00] VL: You made some excellent points for sure. It is such a powerful part of personal development, to overcome challenges to celebrate those wins and that success and that transformation that's happening. And it can be hard to see that over, because it's so small but over time. There is a difference, and there is a transformation there but sometimes we don't always see it because we're the ones taking that one step in front of the other, the people who aren't on the journey with us every single day, they see the transformation from day one to day 30 or however many days you've been doing it for so I think it's really important to look back and to celebrate the strength that you've built over time right and to, to record those wins every day. Love that. Love your, your gratitude journal practice. This has been so wonderful and I feel like you're such a breath of fresh air and love that you shared your morning routine with us, and kind of some of the tangible tips and and the reminders and they inspiration for us to get started with our own time, and your new routine to really create clarity, through, through these habits so thank you so much. Can you share with us, where we can find you, where we can follow you and how we can support your business?



WEBSITE + SHOP | www.batchbeautylab.com

10% OFF use the code EMPOWERMENT10

INSTAGRAM | @the.alexandra.marie @batchbeautylab



RAPID FIRE ROUND

1. What are you currently reading? What’s your favourite book?

How to WIn Friends and Influence People

The Story of Steve Jobs



2. What do you love most about being a woman?

I love, that's a really great question. There's so many things, It's like how do you choose. I was, I What came to mind is just I love how openly emotional I am but I don't know if that's exclusive to being a woman, but I think that there are a lot of times where women find themselves in situations where they're like, Oh, they're not taking me seriously or, I'm being told I'm too emotional, but that's happened to me, and I embrace it, it is who I am and that is what makes me authentically me, and it's what it's what adds character to my life into my story and, and I'm proud of that.



3. What does empowerment mean to you?

Really great question. What comes to mind is being empowered means being confident in what you're doing and feeling supported by people around you, or even yourself, and showing up for yourself, empowering yourself, you know, having a willingness to learn, Having a beginner's mindset is super super important to empowering yourself to achieve things that you thought you couldn't do, or to, you know, show up in the world as somebody who you want to show up as an being that human that's making a positive social impact in the lives of others around you. And so empowerment to me really means taking the power back from external factors, and moving forward confidently and fearlessly in your beliefs to achieve, you know, what's important to you.



4. What are you currently working toward?

So many things. I have a laundry list, okay, of aspirations, but something I think is really, that's really important worth noting is. I like, like you mentioned, I'm really, really passionate about helping others achieve, confidence, and she their business goals and their dreams. And so something that I'm currently working on in batch beauty lab is creating a program where I could be just the business in general is going to help young entrepreneurs kickstart their businesses as well and that's something that's really important to me. And over the next few months, keep an eye out because there will be a program that's rolling out, that has to do with creating positive social impact within the community, but also helping young entrepreneurs achieve their goals.



VL: Okay, you feel like world domination is maxed out so incredible. Well, Alex, thank you so much again for being on the show is an absolute pleasure to speak with you always, and I want to acknowledge you for one taking the time to speak with me today and to for all of the incredible work that you're doing. You have impacted my life positively and I know that you're changing so many people's lives so many people's businesses. It's really cool to to see all of the kind of facets of what you do and your skill set and your talents, and how they, they really do support people and, and women and I'm so excited to see all of the rest of the things that you create, and you share with everyone. So thank you again and I really appreciate everything you've done. 



AP: Thank you! Oh this is so fun and fun fact this is actually my first podcast, so thank you for having me. And I'm really excited for what's to come, and as always I'll be following your journey and your daily habits and I look forward to what's to company to.

 

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E131: How to Incorporate Mindfulness Daily with Sarah Sturino
 
 

E131: How to Incorporate Mindfulness Daily with Sarah Sturino

Learn about the nine pillars of mindfulness and how to start incorporating them into your daily practice to live a more mindful and heart-centred life, featuring special guest, Sarah Sturino…


Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.

Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.

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[1:11] Valerie LaVigne: Welcome back to The Women's Empowerment Podcast. Today I have a very special guest Sarah Sturino. Sarah is a woman, mother and daughter, friend, teacher, Pilates instructor Reiki practitioner and mindfulness facilitator, her whole life has been a wellness journey. All the work she does with others stems from her own self healing and her fundamental belief that we all must operate out of love, rather than fear. Sara is an outspoken introvert, a beauty seeker, and anxiety queen in recovery, a lover of crystals and essential oils and movement junkie and a lifelong learner. Oh my goodness gracious, I feel like you wear all the hats, and I love that that bio ended with lifelong learner because I'm looking at all of the things you do and I'm thinking, Well, she must have taken every course, ever.



Sarah Sturino: We do love to learn and take courses, I think I could have been one of those like students for sure.



VL: Absolutely, and I find as a, as a teacher and instructor myself, I find that, You know, there's always an opportunity to learn more, and it's not just from the courses but also from the people that we work with, and our students and our clients and all that good stuff so Sarah and I actually met at a was like a little photo shoot party thing was really random was kind of like a serendipitous thing on my end anyway. And we didn't know each other and I remember like, when I first saw Sarah I was very intimidated.



She's very, you have this like, incredible presence that's a fairy, it's your you have like a very confident presence of very you're very sure of yourself, but you can see how when you're, when you're, when you're holding space in a room, you're also very aware of other people's energy so right away I knew that you are very much an empath but you had really good boundaries with your energy and whose energy you were going to hold spacebar, and I was like, Whoa, this is someone who I don't know, you just, it was like fascinating because it was like I wanted to get to know you, but I was also a little nervous.



SS: That's very funny actually to me and interesting because I think once people know me I'm anything but intimidating, but I often, I often hear that.



And I would love to be able to view myself from somebody else's eyes because I think what some of that is, is some of that is, is some walls that I put up, right, that is maybe because of past hurts, and even the boundaries thing I'm not sure my boundaries were that great back when I met you or I guess we're always developing them them lifelong.



Yeah, I've always been very aware of the energy in the room and gravitated towards certain people and kind of almost shied away from others, so we definitely gravitated towards one another that day and, yeah, you're right.



VL: Yeah, exactly. And I was gonna say to you I mean, now that I've gotten to know you over the years, I think I kind of was like, oh my god I can't believe I thought she was so intimidating before because you're actually very wonderful to talk to, you're very, now I feel like you're really approachable and, I mean we've had so many deep conversations that I always think after I leave the conversation at the end like Darren, who should have recorded this for the podcast so it's really a pleasure to have you on the show today it's definitely, it's definitely been an overdue interview. And today we we've actually decided that, out of all the things we'd love to talk about because I'm sure we could talk about oils and crystals, and pilates and all the other things. but what we're really focusing on today is mindfulness, and you said it before, and I'm sure you'll, you'll mention it again but mindfulness is really a huge pillar and a huge part of everything else you do so, why don't we start with what is mindfulness.



SS: Sure, well I think to make it as uncomplicated as possible really all it is is being in the present moment, without judgment, without judgment of others with their judgement of yourself, which is probably the one most of us struggle more with is the self judgment. So, I mean there are a million different definitions out there but I think that is the best, most simple one but it is being in the present moment, without, without judgment.



We get into some of the pillars of mindfulness and some of that but that is a really good definition not to live in the past not to live in the future. And just to be here in this day and moment.



VL: And I think that's the best way to explain it is, it is really much earlier so much about being present, but that's not always easy.



SS: It's not easy at all.



And even when you're a mindfulness coach or mindfulness facilitator, you find yourself not in the present moment, at times.



VL: So, so often.



[6:39] SS: I think one of the, this is where some of my other trends come in because one of the best methods for me personally for getting myself into the present moment is movement and breath, and those can be connected or not connected. So whether I'm breathing through my Pilates practice or yoga class, or whether I'm just pausing and doing some type of breath work those for me and for many, are two of the ways that you can definitely return to the present moment, and with the movement piece, even if it's not feasible in that moment or in that date to squeeze in a yoga or pilates practices, perhaps, dancing around the kitchen, even just shaking the body balancing the body in different ways, moves the energy around and shakes up the brain and puts you back into the present.



VL: Yes, exactly. I think movement is well for me, I would say it was, it would be a pillar of mindfulness is that one of the pillars of mindfulness, I feel like there's a specific pillar here. 



SS: No, it's not one of the pillars of mindfulness, but I think it's one of the ways that we achieve the pillars, mindfulness, the pillars of mindfulness come from one of the fathers of mindfulness, which is Jon Kabat Zinn and he is one of the goddesses who kind of brought it out, what is woven into the Western world.



According to him, and I would abide by this the nine pillars are 

  1. Non-judging

  2. Acceptance

  3. Patience

  4. Beginner’s Mind

  5. Trust

  6. Non-Striving

  7. Letting Go

  8. Gratitude

  9. Generosity



In general, and some kind of mingling of those nine things in your life will lead you to truly mindful practice mindful existence.




VL: Well those are actually pretty new to me, I don't think I've ever heard of those nine pillars before but I can definitely see how they tie into mindful, I want to say a mindful lifestyle a mindful human mindful approach to life, I suppose, yeah definitely a mindful approach to life. I really liked that. So, okay, maybe we can break it down a little bit more because I know I've said this before but and I know you've listened to several of the podcast episodes but the show was really about having the tangible, practical tactical tools and methods that we can really take into action because really the only way we're gonna change the only way for transformation, the only way we're really going to have this approach is if we take action so we jump into some of the ways to, to use mindfulness or to incorporate mindfulness into our lives. 



SS: Definitely. What I'd love to do is to take you and your our listeners through a little mindfulness practice if that's okay with you. Yes, that would be great. Okay, so let me explain where this mindfulness practice comes from one of the places that I am facilitated with three certified as mindfulness illustrators through an organization called mindfulness without borders.



As the title alludes to they are all over the world, and they're really trying to offer mindfulness to people of all religions, all cultures, make it very accessible to people so I chose to become certified as a facilitator of their Youth Ambassadors Program. Although it's a youth program I've also delivered it with adults and it works extremely well, that I do a lot of work with. So, within their programs all of their programs. They have a breeding practice that they call to them to you that, and the reason why they call it the practice to them. It was named by one of their ambassadors, one of their mindfulness investors in Rwanda, and in that language to them refers to the idea of slowing down before reacting.



As the title alludes to they are all over the world, and they're really trying to offer mindfulness to people of all religions, all cultures, make it very accessible to people so I chose to become certified as a facilitator of their Youth Ambassadors Program. Although it's a youth program I've also delivered it with adults and it works extremely well, that I do a lot of work with. So, within their programs all of their programs. They have a breeding practice that they call to them to you that, and the reason why they call it the practice to them. It was named by one of their ambassadors, one of their mindfulness investors in Rwanda, and in that language to them refers to the idea of slowing down before reacting.



So it's the idea that if you do this free breathing practice, you're creating space between your emotion and your reaction, kind of anchor.



So I can take you through a brief TUZA, and then I can also tell you and your listeners where you can access different voices taking you through something very similar to them.



VL: Yes, that would be amazing



[12:24] SS: Okay, so, Val and listeners let's get ready. You're just gonna sit in uncomfortable positions. You can lie down, you prefer, that is fine. And I'd like you to allow both, both of your feet to connect or



rest your hands on your thigh, palms up, if you want to invite new energy in and palms down if you feel like you need to ground yourself and just let your shoulders. Slowly move away from your fingers gently close your eyes. If that's comfortable for you, or find a reference point on the floor, where you can return your eyes that you get your arm.



rest your hands on your thigh, palms up, if you want to invite new energy in and palms down if you feel like you need to ground yourself and just let your shoulders. Slowly move away from your fingers gently close your eyes. If that's comfortable for you, or find a reference point on the floor, where you can return your eyes that you get your arm.



Don't judge the feeling.



Now bring your attention to the flow of your breath.



I'm not going to ask you to breathe in any special way, simply notice each breath coming into the body with an in breath and leaving the body has been out breath.



I'm not going to ask you to breathe in any special way, simply notice each breath coming into the body with an in breath and leaving the body has been out breath.



Do not judge your personal experience with it. Be kind and compassionate to how you are feeling in the moment, allowing each inhale to be a new beginning. and each exhale to be a letting go.



Allow each inhale to bring new energy in, and each exhale. Select by taking one more breath. When you're ready. Slowly bring your attention back to your surrounding perhaps introduce some movement to the body a little stretch.



And let how you feel now, guide you through the rest of the day, and I'm going to ask you as I would if I was facilitating this in the group. How do you feel now?



[14:36] VL: I feel, definitely calmer and more grounded. I didn't realize how tired I was like I was breathing in then yawning a bunch of times.



And, but then, this is kind of an aside but sometimes when I go into meditation or I do Reiki on someone else, or even myself whenever I go into like a spiritual place I think beyond a lot and it's not always because I'm tired it's like this is like the way that I connect to her spiritual energy. So maybe that was happening, or maybe a combination of both.



Also, I rarely when I'm sitting down on a chair, or the sofa or whatever, I rarely put my feet on the ground. And this is something that someone else has brought to my attention recently too.



So, this is, I feel like I need this so much right now and I'm sure people listening will also agree with how much like grounding and just mindfulness and being present, noticing the breath, because I think as we start to notice our breath, we also start to notice that we're holding our breath, or we're not taking deep breaths.



But yeah, that was lovely. And that was only like a minute or two, it was so easy to do.



SS: Yeah, and that I think is the key is that it doesn't need I think the word meditation can be intimidating to people. Whereas, just something as simple as closing your eyes, sitting with feet on the ground, and doing it. The breath is a mindfulness practice. It doesn't have to go deeper into becoming an actual meditation. It certainly can. Eventually, but that we can still get a results with just that two minutes.



Really what is breath and inner, inner focus is, is I think what makes it very accessible for people.



VL: Yeah, you know what I think meditation can be very intimidating because there's a lot of different types of meditation. I really like how accessible you've kind of demonstrated that mindfulness practice to be. And, I mean it's as simple as putting your feet on the ground and noticing your breath, well you could do that anywhere, right. We could do that when were at the grocery store, we could do that when we're getting out of our car from driving, we just put our feet on the ground, take a breath and then that's our transition to the next place or the next thing that we're doing so.



It's simple, and it's one of those things where, you know the work or the transformation that we talked about earlier comes when we just do the work and we repeat it over time.



Well, as you know I love chatting about habits. I feel like we could make this a habit, but could we maybe go through a couple more maybe examples it doesn't have to be a mindfulness, quote unquote meditation or anything or mindfulness practice but maybe some other things that we could do, and incorporate into our lifestyle.



SS: Sure, I actually when I hold my group I actually talk about developing mindful daily habit. And the reason why the word habit, I guess, is so important, is I'm just going to delve into a little bit here. I'm currently taking a program at McMaster University called mindfulness and modern thought. and it's a series of five courses and of course I'm presently taking it's about the neuroscience behind COVID, which is fascinating to explore doing studies where they're taking MRIs of people's brains before doing an eight week mindfulness program and after and seeing many changes in the brain matter of the brain, left brain matter in that fight or flight part of the brain more gray matter in the logic, reasoning part of the brain, these are all things we want to see. That's, to me it's like scientific proof that eight weeks of a habit, creates actual biological change in the brain, a crazy, like, I love that they can actually prove that out with the technology.



So to give you an example of a mindful daily habit, this is something that happened to me recently, is my dishwasher broke, and of course, my immediate reaction was, oh this is not good and it's it's terrible and. And then I thought, like, the first time I was washing dishes in ages, how mindful practice them dancing, rounded down the ground, not thinking about anything else, not judging the situation or thinking how angry I am that dishwasher is broken and I might have to pay money to have it, but just being in that moment, I haven't met my family, my Washington petition is a quiet moment for don't have to do anything else I can breathe while I'm doing it. It made me so much less resentful of the broken, dishwasher, so adding any kind of daily habit. 



Another thing that I've personally done is put a little form kind of mantra thing on my mirror in my bathroom, so that I remember to be mindful while I'm brushing my teeth because again something we do every day, probably more than once or twice a day, and just standing there, you know on the ground, a moment to be mindful to let the brain go kind of into a void space or a blank slate, and breathe.



VL: Oh, my goodness, you're, you're hitting the nail on the head today I want to brush my teeth I'm like okay these are all the things I have to do tomorrow, when I'm doing the dishes, I'm like oh my god okay so now I have to do this which make this meal.



So I feeling called out, which I find a lot of guests are doing to me like I think I need, I think I need this more than anyone else today.



SS: But I think we all do it though we all fit and the more, the more, the more we do the mindful part, the less likely we are to go back there, just like anything else when we start any new habit of constantly talking about habit. Yes. Yeah, so that it becomes more habitual and more of a regular part of your routine, and the mindful moments come more naturally, sometimes I encourage my clients that little alarm in their phone with mindful moments when they're first learning this because, let's face it the day is busy for most people crazy and they need to, you know, then that little reminder was, okay, I'm gonna stop and breathe until it become more natural, and even for myself at times when things are really crazy.



VL: 



[24:40] SS:I think everything everybody ebbs and flows practice like this, that's important with the non judgement people to know that we all ebb and flow I would like to think even the most mindful people like the Dalai Lama or Buddha probably.



VL: Yeah that's a great point to make, and I think a lot of what you're saying to has, has a lot to do with habit triggers, which we talk about on the show as well which basically are the cues or the, the if this happens then then so if we're doing the dishes, then we become more mindful if we're brushing our teeth and we become more mindful, and it really does as someone who has practiced mindfulness myself, it really does become more automatic or that habitual routine, and you're, you find yourself sometimes so like, you've probably experienced this before when you're driving to work, is driven to work so many times countless times, that you'll be in the middle of your drive and be like, Oh my God, how did I get here, because you're so not present in the moment, whereas the opposite can also happen when you do become more mindful and you do create a more mindful routine is that you find yourself really in the present moment really enjoying something really just being there with kind of nothingness. I remember going when Craig and I first started dating. 



We went on a walk in nature, and at the time, I was really working on mindfulness I was practicing yoga every day I was meditating, I was like kind of dating myself really. And then I started dating Craig, we went into the forest and he was talking to you talking and I said, just listen, just listen to the - it's first second date, whatever it was, we're a little bit nervous with each other so you want to kind of, there's no, there's no space for that awkward silence when you're talking bass I just listened to the wind through the trees. Do you hear that, and it was like an eye opening experience for him because he hadn't taken the time to notice that. And so now when we go for hikes or walks or whatever, he'll stop me now so you'd listen, listen to the trees, and you could hear the wind blowing through the leaves and it's like that one moment of being able to say, okay, I can hear this nature sound or I can see, you know this tree in front of me and when you're really taking a look at what you're seeing I mean maybe it's not in nature but something else and really, you know, just being there and not thinking about the past or thinking about the future, it's pretty it's pretty incredible and then you'll do it more and more that it carries you throughout your day and yeah it's a really cool. It's a really cool feeling but it's definitely not the easiest to go from high energy, high anxiety and then flip the switch to mindfulness, so we have our kind of guided mindfulness practice, we've got our habit triggers of one we can get into mindfulness, are there any other I know you've talked about breath and movement, are there any other things, or ways we can incorporate this into our life.



SS: so I think that you mentioned one which is kind of neat a little light bulb go off in my head which is nature here so nature deprive yourself so you know in North American society I think in general. I know that in here as authors write actual prescriptions for report is a prescription for their patients to go into the forest, spend time with nature, and I actually think that that's one of the ways if I really think back, it was either my movement practices or nature that first drew me to mindfulness is a very good way. Even if you do a five minute walk outside in your neighborhood and it's a silent block you're not listening to music you're not listening to podcasts, you're not chatting with somebody, the very good way to practice mindful, being in nature and outdoors. I also feel that we need to practice it back in, all of us the ability to be mindful, we were all those little tiny kids babies that are just naturally mindful and we lost it for the hustle and bustle of life. So, just like any or practice makes perfect, we don't do a breathing practice once or a guided meditation once and I was struck with the whole time. I kept in meditation, this isn't for me. Just like we wouldn't go to the gym and lift weights and expect to look like. Whoever Arnold Schwarzenegger. The next day, we you know we practice and cultivate a practice in our lives. That's important, I think we're true trying different things. Maybe for you it's not movement. Maybe for you it's not nature, maybe it's breath. Maybe it is the daily tasks that you're doing anyway. I'd like to talk about something that you do every day that I know you do because I've seen it on some of your Instagram posts and things but it's a great example of something that takes like, probably 10 seconds or or more, I don't know, probably not very long, and is a perfect mindful practice what you do with your coffee every morning, or your tea, whatever it is that you're drinking I'll let you explain it but that's a prime example of a daily mindful habit that takes a little time.



VL: Yes, you're right, I completely forgot about it. So every morning when I'm making my, it's usually coffee but sometimes the green juice or a tea.



I start in my intention for the day. And it's become a bit of a ritual and I can't remember when I started doing this, it wasn't too long ago I want to say December or January anyway, it was a few months ago, I would say, but it's made a huge difference in my life.



And when I don't do it because sometimes I don't make the coffee right away, or I will, Like, I'll make a green juice sometimes I usually shake that and I don't stir it so it's not as like a slow process, I kind of like shake it quickly and drink it. So when I if I don't do it, I noticed the difference as well. But essentially what I do is I pour the coffee like Nespresso so I dropped the espresso shot and I stir in like a couple little extra things like cinnamon and collagen powder. So as I'm doing that actually stir the coffee counter clockwise, and I do this because I want to let go of, you know whether it was like a bad sleep I had or like a crappy week, anything from yesterday, anything from this morning that threw me off already got over the wrong side of the bed, whatever. So I started that a couple times, until everything's blended in. And then I add my old milk because I like old milk lattes. And once the old milk is in I stir it clockwise, three times and as I stir in Word so clockwise to me is like, when I think about how I want to feel that day, and it's usually just a word, today I wanted to feel centered and steady, so like it was, I have a really busy day I'm on the move today. And I just wanted to make sure that like I really was present because I have a lot of driving and I know that sometimes when I'm scattered in my brain, I'm driving like bad things can happen right so I just wanted that to be my intention for today specifically. And then after I stir that in three times, I make a Pentagon or a star shape in the coffee to kind of feel it, that's my little ritual.

And I always like the spoon. I know that sounds silly, but I always like the spoon and then as I'm drinking the coffee is when I'm reminded of like okay I'm drinking that intention now it's going into my body. This in the coffee you can say like, oh yeah coffee feels feels you the caffeine whatever but it's really the intention that I'm kind of drinking in.



And you're right, it has totally become a mindful practice I think about it all day, and I, if I don't feel that steady or centered. I take a breath, I take a moment to reconnect to the intention that I've set. So, that's, that's the goal. That's the goal should be all of it. 



[29:49] SS: You just made that sound so fantastic and like juicy that I think I’m going to start to.



But that is a beautiful example of something that takes less than a minute, but can be a mindful, start to your day and imagine, even if you know for anyone who's listening out there if you just start with.



Pick something that takes 30 seconds to a minute for the beginning of your day, such as Valerie just described, and something that takes 30 seconds to a minute at the end of your day, perhaps, you know, closing the bathroom door, and breathing while you brush your teeth, even just those tiny little changes will calm you round you and physiologically change your brain.



VL: I love that I love that it's, You know it sounds a little woowoo like I'm stirring a word into my coffee. I'm thinking of the word I'm going to bed with the intention of having a good sleep or whatever it is, but you're right there really is a lot more research, a lot more scientific evidence proving the positive effects of something that is so simple. And the way that I like to look at it is that, you know, it's not that hard to do. It's not it doesn't cost any extra money to try this. It doesn't have any negative side effects, why wouldn't you try it. Why wouldn't you like prove at this point prove us wrong, you know what I mean prove me wrong and tell me it doesn't work.



SS:  Very good point. Very good point. One of the sayings, I like to use is that your biography is your biology. So, by introducing these little practices into your life story, your biography, you're only improving your health improving your, you know, aging potential to the ability to age well to keep the brain active as you age, all, all of that stuff I don't know if you're familiar with the term neuroplasticity.



VL: Yes, I’ve heard of this before. 



SS: So neural plasticity is the idea, and not to age myself but I did my psychology degree. Whoa. A long time ago, probably about 45 years ago now. So, the idea of neural plasticity, really wasn't there when I did my psychology degree this is that knew of science, the idea that the brain constantly changes and grows. It's not like you reach a certain age, which we'll reach we really used to think of a psychology world you reach a certain age and for a while, you can't learn a new language now you can't do this now know that brain is constantly changing and developing at a rate that low scientists mine. And this is why you can rehab people who kind of stroke, this why things like that, so.



Yeah, it's very new science to prove that right into late late adulthood right into senior years, The brain has the ability to form new connections, new fire new neurons, and, and learn new things. So even if you're, you know, 70 years old, listening to this, you can start a mindful practice and affect affect change for your remaining years.



VL: That's excellent. That's an excellent reminder for a lot of people because my grandma is 85 This year I think it's 86 Anyway, she's an old bird. And she always says I'm too old to learn that I'm too old to do that I'm too old and I keep saying no you're not, and she loves reading, but for whatever reason she wasn't able to get like books all the time, like hard hardcopy books. So, or she, I don't know, she has like a book club with her niece. Anyway, that's beside the point. She wasn't able to get all the books that we thought she's going to she's reading so many books so quickly, let's just get her Kindle, where she can just store all these books she's have to pass the books back and forth with her niece who lives like too far away. So let's get her Kindle so when we first got it for her. She's like, Oh my God, no, I can't learn this, this is a, I don't know how to use this machine is she doesn't even have a cell phone or anything right. So we showed her how to use it and we explained that, you know you can have 100 books on this one little tablet, and it's so light and you can travel with it and all these things. And, yeah, she uses it now, and you can't tell me that, You know she, I mean, she definitely had to. She definitely had to learn a couple of years skill they need someone who's never used a tablet or cell phone, you know, things like that smartphone anything like that. So, but she knows how to use it now and she loves it. She's always like, I mean we put the stories on for her, but she can flip the pages and pick the book and, yeah.



[34:36] SS: And what is that hesitation when it's whether it's an 85 year old or a 25 year old that's hesitation on Oh, I can't do that, let's label that what is that, that to me is it's fear. Right. And fear is within all of our brains, we may not only live in fear but it's fear and anxiety. And I think as somebody who suffered from I suffered from terrible anxiety as a person, mindfulness, helped me more than any other method treatment, whatever you want to call that, because it eradicated the fear part for me. And here's how many if there's anybody listening who's had cognitive behavioral therapy for anxiety, which is one of the most common sort of treatments for people who are an anxious or depressed.



And this is not to at all negate that practice or say it has no worth absolutely not different things work for different people. But for me personally what I struggled with was with that was that it's asking you to change yourself.



So it's asking you to say, instead of saying, I'm scared of learning something new. I'm not scared of something new but that felt inauthentic to me because I was still scared.



So or still fearful or anxious or whatever, however you want to label it. The reason why mindfulness is so helpful, is because it. I'm scared of learning something new, but that's okay.



It's okay to feel that way. And it doesn't mean that I can't learn. It doesn't mean that I can't sit with this uncomfortableness and push through and push practice. And that is one of, to me the key reasons why I see mindfulness working for myself and for many of the people that I work with, it's that expression of the feeling, or the thought that isn't functional or the most positive. It's not about always ponies and rainbows and unicorns, I like to say it's about even acknowledging the icky thoughts that we all are being honest.



VL: That is an amazing point 1,000% agree it's, you know, it's being able to say like, it's okay that I'm afraid, and it's okay to take the risk and it's okay to try something new to do something new, and I mean this is a whole other topic in itself in itself about getting out of your comfort zone and, you know, embracing the fear and doing it anyway and whatever it is, is that similar to mindfulness and to weight training, you're building, you're building your muscles you're building your mindfulness muscle you're building your courage muscle you're building your actual physical muscles, because all of these things take practice and as I mentioned before, the more you do it the better you get at it.



So it really starts with deciding or trying and choosing where do you want to start, what's the best place for you is it the tooth brushing is it the storing it into your coffee is it the movement practice.



Yeah, I think you've given a ton of amazing examples today and I know that you teach a lot of this because we could probably talk about this for a whole series of episodes about mindfulness, I mean, I feel like we could talk about each of the pillars in one episode, for sure.



But you teach a lot of this in a few of your offerings so could you share a little bit more about your retreats your programs?



[38:17] SS: Sure, I can run you when Wellness Week them or retreat for, I don't even know probably about five years now, and typically three to for a year like one every season, pretty much, obviously that's been interrupted a little bit by the current situation, but we've got, we've got some coming up. And the purpose of these gatherings, is to bring women together because I believe when women come together it's a powerful thing. I believe we learn from each other we feed off of each other's energy.



It's powerful, it goes back to ancient times, women gathering and circle. And there's a blend of everything, it's a very holistic weekend so there's always yoga and Pilates classes offered. There's always outdoor components, such as hiking, or snowshoeing, there's always healthy food for the weekend, often vegan or vegetarian, I'm not vegan or vegetarian but I do like to eat that way. Sometimes, and I can activate experiments with people to do for the weekend, and all of my retreats differently. We put different presenters at different retreat with everything from card readers, and the retreat I have to 2021, fingers crossed, is really the theme of that retreat is what we were just talking about going outside your comfort zone.



Something that I recently did that was completely out of my comfort zone was. Try the Wim Hof Method. I will admit that I was drawn in by the goop lab episode on Netflix and curious and started with my partner looking up this would be cool to do and sure enough, there were retreats locally that we could go to workshops rather locally that we go to to try this Wim Hof Method. So, the Wim Hof Method has itself, three sort of pillars or ideas behind it, which are one of them is mindful. One of them is to be in the right mindset and to be very mindful in the present moment, and the other two are breathwork and cold exposure. So the part that was out of my comfort zone was the cold exposure fun worshiping Mediterranean girl over here. Who would like to live barefoot in a bikini her whole life.



The idea of cold exposure which in the context of this workshop with getting into an ice bath for two minutes and 30 seconds was terrifying. And even as the day of the workshop approached, I was thinking for all these reasons why I could maybe cancel or not show up. However I did show up, I did go into the ice bath for two minutes and 30 seconds.



The idea of cold exposure which in the context of this workshop we're getting into an ice bath for two minutes and 30 seconds was terrifying. And even on the day of the workshop, approach, I was thinking for all these reasons why I could maybe cancel or not show up. However I did show up, I did go into the ice bath for two minutes and 30 seconds.



The idea of cold exposure which in the context of this workshop we're getting into an ice bath for two minutes and 30 seconds was terrifying. And even on the day of the workshop, approach, I was thinking for all these reasons why I could maybe cancel or not show up. However I did show up, I did go into the ice bath for two minutes and 30 seconds.



VL: WOW! I mean I've tried types of cold therapy before, but by that I mean that crazy walk we did in the freezing cold winter. And then I remember like when we were kids we used to go to our friend's hot tub in the winter and then it was like, Okay, I dare you to go jump out in the snow roll around and come back.



Those kinds of things, but I don't think I would have ever. Well maybe you can convince me to go into an ice bath for two and a half minutes like part of me is very curious and then the other part of me is screaming right away. 



SS: Right and I think once you experience the lead up to it, and the mindset work in the policy breathwork that you're taught, there's almost no doubt in your mind that you're getting in that tub and I asked, Ashley, the facilitator. People must like to get 10 people signed up for a workshop, how many actually get in yet, but never had anyone in the years of doing this, don't get in and I can see that now that I've done it because you're just so pumped up to do it and I guess there's a little bit of the tribe mentality going on there too, that you just do, and it is that ultimate I think going out of your way out of your comfort zone.



Right and I think once you experience the lead up to it, and the mindset work in the policy breathwork that you're taught, there's almost no doubt in your mind that you're getting in that tub and I asked, Ashley, the facilitator. People must like to get 10 people signed up for a workshop, how many actually get in yet, but never had anyone in the years of doing this, don't get in and I can see that now that I've done it because you're just so pumped up to do it and I guess there's a little bit of the tribe mentality going on there too, that you just do, and it is that ultimate I think going out of your way out of your comfort zone.



[43:53] VL: That's so incredible, I would definitely want to try it, because I'm thinking of how I would react in that group mentality and I'm like no I can't be the only one who doesn’t do it.



First, I like, I have to go first I have to go first. I can't watch other people do this. And then, you know, you'll be getting more and more nervous, but just if I'm doing it I'm going for. 



VL:  So amazing. Well, Sarah. This has been so much fun, like I said, I feel like we could do a whole series on this, and I'm sure that you'll be back on the show again soon, but let us know where we can find you today where we can follow you and how we can support your business.



SS:  in addition to the junior retreats, I'm currently offering one on one mindfulness sessions, and also in summer 2021 I will be offering a teen mindfulness program, and information about any of those things can be found on my Instagram, or my websites.



WEBSITE | www.sarahsturino.com

INSTAGRAM | @sssturino 



RAPID FIRE

1. What are you currently reading? OR What’s your favourite book?

Becoming Supernatural by Dr. Joe Dispenza

Future Witches




2. What do you love most about being a woman?



I think if I think back, my son is 17 Almost. What I love most about being a woman was that feeling of growing a human and being so there is never a time when I was more in touch with energy and with how much we are animals right it's such an animal experience to give birth to grow human to have milk. So just that our bodies do that is incredible and miraculous and beautiful and then the fact that we didn't stretch marks laughter and hate is, we need to change the culture needs lippett Like are you proud of those stretch marks grew that 6ft3’ boy!




3. What does “empowerment” mean to you?



I think I would say empowerment means finding your voice, and using it. But I would also say, it means to thrive, not just survive I think that there were some years where I was just surviving and not thriving. And my wish for everyone is that they have very few of those. And more of the Thrive.




4. What are you currently working toward?



Many things probably too many things I feel like I confuse the universe by manifesting too many things at once. So, I will share that I am working towards having my own but that's one of the things that I'm currently manifesting and not just manifesting, but the actively working on



VL: Well, thank you so much for being on the podcast today it was an absolute pleasure to talk to you I mean I love chatting with you but it was great that we could finally record this episode, I think what you're doing in the world and for women and for teens is so incredibly important. I feel like every season every year you come to me with like this new idea and this new project and this new program and I just think oh my god, she can do anything and everything you're like a super woman. So I'm so happy to know you as a friend. I'm so happy to have you as a guest on the show so excited to share your voice, your story or your resources, your expertise with the audience today, and hopefully again soon. Thank you.



SS: Thank you, Valerie, thank you for giving me space for my voice, and for LASIK women you do that on your podcast is truly needed and truly a pleasure to listen to. Thank you so much for having me as a guest.

 

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E130: Q&A with Special Guest Craig
 
 

E130: Q&A with Special Guest Craig

Meet my love and partner, Craig in this fun and light episode answering your questions for Craig all about his habits and his view and ideas for forming healthy habits with your partner…


Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.

Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.

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[00:52] Valerie LaVigne: Welcome back to The Women's Empowerment Podcast. So typically every 10 episodes, I do a q&a, and I have decided to switch things up a little bit which I'm very nervous about but also very excited because I have an extra special guest on today's show, and he is my partner, Craig and as I'm saying he I'm just realizing that you're the first male guest I've had on the show which is also very exciting so welcome.


Craig: Thank you. Thanks for having me. I appreciate it.


VL: Craig was very excited to be on the show today but also a little nervous because we have a pretty much a list of listener questions for Craig. If you follow me on Instagram at about living life, you will have known or you will have seen that Craig and I have been doing some little renovations on the home, which have been fun to follow along with and just a little fun part of our relationship, and what's going on right now. So, now, I usually read a bio for the guest and Greg and I were chatting previously to recording and I said oh I don't really have a bio for you and you know you're not a entrepreneur so things are very different episode for us today. So what I thought would be great if I read your Tinder bio, which is how Craig and I met, and on his Tinder bio and correct me if I'm wrong but this is how I remember it. It said Craig, I don't think it's at your age, but at the time you were 36, and it said, looking for someone to steal my sweaters. Eat my fries, and drink my coffee, even though you said you didn't want any.


Okay can you remember my Tinder bio, off the top of my head.


C: Off the top of my head. I remember the pictures very clearly. Yeah there was beautiful pictures and I can remember. I can remember that you were a health coach, and that you were. You were in touch with, I was spiritually woke spiritually.


V: Yeah, we're gonna talk about being spiritually woke a little bit on the podcast.


Yeah, I remember something like that, something about pizza was thrown in there too, that yeah that was a good time my first ever Tinder experience and ever Tinder date and look where we are now almost, we'll definitely over a year and a half later.


As you know, my business really does revolve around health but more specifically healthy habits. So we're gonna talk a little bit today about healthy habits, and I figured we just dive in, because that's kind of how I like to do things. And the other thing I wanted to share with you about the podcast is that and I know you've listened to a couple episodes but I'm really try to leave the guests with some motivation to take action. So as we are talking if you have any like tidbits of advice, or actionable steps you can take, feel free to share that on the show.


Okay, so let's start with the healthy habits.


So Ania asked, Are there any healthy habits that Craig wants to achieve or get better at what are you currently working on in terms of your healthy habits?


[4:33] C: Well thank you for the question on habits that I really want to improve on that I lack out a lot on my diet. So we've got better at eating more consistently and vows introduced some, you know, a couple recipe books that are great, but they're still not the best. 


So, really got to tidy that up one of the bad parts is too much sugar.


So, working out that that's active and not sleeping.


I guess regularly. So that's probably my biggest challenge at the moment is getting a good night's sleep every night. Just between work and life and everything, it's just seems to be, I guess that's not really an excuse.


It's toying with me a little bit so I have to figure out a way to get in control of it. So yeah those are probably the two main things I need to I need to figure out.


VL: So, and then her next question I guess is a bit of a follow up, but are there any bad habits that you want to change so I it's kind of a similar question.


C: Yeah, so the sleep and then I guess just lazy snacking. That's probably the biggest downfall with sugar is that you know the snacking. We've gotten this terrible habit of having dessert before I have having this dessert before bed, and I guess the one was sleep.


The biggest challenge there is not putting down my phone. I need to put down my phone. Turn off the screen, close my eyes,


VL: Eliminating sugar would also probably help you sleep better too.


C: Yeah.


VL: Okay, so let's talk about some of your good habits, what are some of your good habits, and that you do every day and I can list a few but I want it to come from you.


C: I train every day, I don't know if that's necessarily a good habit. I like I enjoy the habit but I, I enjoy trading. I do feel I should take a break every now and then and listen to my body which I, I certainly don't do.


And my other habits don't necessarily turn towards health, it's more structured in a routine and I like to get things done and I don't like to leave things open ended.


If I, if I have something in my mind. I want to get on top of it like I consider that a good habit to not leave things open or unfinished.


VL: Yeah, so you work out every day, which, you know, and then some days you say you don't have a great workout. It's more of like a rest day, but you are definitely someone who takes action, whereas we laugh about that. I like to start things and Craig likes to finish things necessarily start something, but I feel like once we get something started. You're the one who's saying we need to finish this, or I'm like yeah we'll do later.


Or we'll start something else. In the meantime, and then you're done, like you said you like to, you like to take action and I think this is something that I've learned a lot from you because I tend to hesitate sometimes like oh let me think about a little bit more like let me plan this out. Where that can be helpful but it can also be a little bit of a detriment if I'm just, you know, waiting to feel ready or you're like just jump in with both feet.


C: I think when I was younger, I hesitated a bit more and I was a little bit more concerned about the risks and the outcome. And I eventually realized, you know, as time ticks along, and you've passed your 30s and it feels like the clock is getting quicker and quicker, that you start to realize that the time is not waiting for you.


So, I guess that's the reason why I've driven. Now, more.


[9:00] VL: Candace wants to know, how have your habits changed since meeting me so like what are some things that you maybe added?


C: Thank you. Thanks, Candace for that question. Since Val and I've met. There is a lot of things that have changed. Habitually and for the better.


 We, I guess, the one that pops up the most into my head is recycling and take, you know, I used to just throw, throw away everything into the trash and, and I never used to really recycle so foul, foul was very very persistent with that so I, I started to recycle and I'm still not perfect, but I'm definitely 91 miles, miles ahead of where I was. So that was a that was a huge one. One of them that happens.


I had, I had a TV in the bedroom, and fell. Passive aggressively comment though. Oh, you shouldn't do this but I was like okay, she's like no no it's your decision but, you know, so eventually I ended up getting rid of that and that definitely helped my sleep a lot because I, I used to sleep with the TV on and then wake up in the middle of the night with it still running and really have a broken sleep so that was a huge one.


I used to eat a lot of takeout. And that's, that's non existent so that's benefited me in two ways that not only am I saving a lot more money but I'm also I'm also looking after myself with my health, and mentally. I used to always believe I was old and it's almost like I was convincing myself that I was old and Val Val came in with this notion that like, Hey, you're only as old as you, you sort of believe you are.


So, if you believe you're young, you're going to convince yourself you're young and you will be young. So, this has been a huge modification for me to come back to being young and recognizing that it's a lot more journey to come down the road and we have a lot of time together.


[11:34] VL: And so that you're not even older than I am, but you're not full that I have to give, and you're very playful like this is something that I really love about you is that you are really wonderful. I used the wrong word, and once I called him immature but I met. It didn't go very well.


But this is something that like, I really like for me because I sometimes can get really caught up into more serious and structured mentality like playful side which I think is so important, and even today you're tied to these fun things, a game all the stuff so we're ready to pull your heart and you're young.


I think money wise to like you're better at saving money now.


C: Yeah.


VL: I think the pandemic also helps with Thanksgiving close.


C: Yeah, but it was like I used to I used to be very impulsive. I still am from time to time but you said Help me right now. And it's that's for the better.


[13:02] VL: So one of the other questions that Candice asked was if someone told you five years ago that you'd be getting an astrology reading, and your aura read and playing with oils, diffusing oils. What would you have said to them?


C: You're off to lunch. Yeah. Never in a million years, I would I would never have thought it, I would have probably had a good giggle and moved on.


So, this is, this has been one one journey, like the spiritual journey, I guess, although I'm not. I'm perhaps not 100% There are definitely, it's definitely been an eye opener, and I've definitely learned a lot about myself, about how to behave, my personality, how to interact with other people, and Val. You you you introduce me to a few different people like Glynis the Astrologer. 


VL: A nutritionist…


C: And that's, that's been a huge change as well. Glynis, the astrologist was huge.



VL: It's one of those things where if you don't believe it and if you can't just read your horoscope in the paper, you need to read your birth chart and someone needs to do that for you because it's like a whole other language.


C: you know, when I, when I went to see Glynis I went in with a very open mind, you know, just, I think at that time we were having a tough time. And it was a search for a good direction. And I was a bit lost.


VL: And then how many people did you tell to go see her?


C: So many because it put a lot of things to rest in my mind I think we have a lot of secrets that a lot of insecurities that are raised in dark places that you don't want to embarrass anybody and I think it takes even a lot to sometimes let your partner in because you're not certain if they're going to use it against you or you might be super super ashamed of these things and, and sitting, listening to what she had to say, might feel normal. My darkness fuel Okay, a lot more accepting of myself.


It put some perspective into some journeys that perhaps I hadn't closed the door or had time to fix properly.


VL: Thank you for sharing that. Yeah, that was very early on in our relationship too so for you to go and have that meeting with her was, it was a surprise to me that you actually did that.


At the time, but if someone asked you now like, Hey Craig, what do you think of the willie stuff like your horoscope and or as in meditation and crystals of essential oils, what would you say to somebody?


[16:25] C: You know, I came from a very sort of conservative upbringing. So, to get through something that you've grown up with is kind of a challenge, not necessarily a challenge but it takes some convincing if you will. So there's obviously like with in regards to oils, there's some oils that you can show me the benefit of them straightaway like the lemon oil. When we're painting and I spilt this lemon gospel to paint on the ground, and you gave me that oil and I couldn't believe it, including the microwave, like things that was so challenging, there's, there's, you know, I saw a huge benefit but it was kind of like, there was that instant gratification so you, you respond like I responded really well to it.


But the other oils that you know that the calming blend. Like sometimes I have a bit of a giggle because like I think it's whimsical almost, but it's just it's just because it's very difficult to believe, but I'm getting. I feel I'm getting better. 


VL: Yeah, when we first started dating you kept calling me as soon as there.


C: Yeah, yes it's right


VL: And what else, the tummy oil?


C: I guess because I'm lactose intolerant since I've been in Canada, like I respond very well to lactose and so it's been a very challenging journey for me with that because, you know growing up I grew up on a farm and Zimbabwean, there was an abundance of milk because we had cows and it was unpasteurized and, you know, we'd milk the cows and had the milk straight from there and so to get it all processed and stuff I think is playing havoc on me but, certainly.


VL: Hey, well when I met you you had a deep blue rug. Essential Oil muscle rub,


C: yeah wow okay well that's that's another one that's, that's fantastic as well, Like, I used to use a 535, you know, and more chemical kind of products and then yeah picked up that that deep blue and that that works a real treat, and even little things like the diffuse smell.


It's, it's a very nice response but that was a really bad habit I had, I had those.


VL: Oh my god yeah fresh air fresheners everywhere.


C: Yeah, so we changed the diffusers and that was a huge change which was for the better. Oh man, I threw all my chemicals as well, all the cleaning products.


VL: I basically came in it was like so…. Yeah we’re throwing out everything…


C: We pretty much. Wow, okay. There's a lot. Yeah, do laundry detergent, as well, soaps, soaps.


VL: Do you like how does it feel, do you notice a change?


C: I've noticed, I've noticed like, you know, just, I guess the changes have been so subtle, we've done some, like, it's already that like, also the painting of the house, and the brightening of the house and your style and your fashion you know the way that you've brought that in like, there's been a lot of things I think mentally I feel more grounded, obviously work is like a bit stressful so it keeps me on my toes, but I feel it's a good place to come on we have.


VL: Yeah, I was gonna say that I feel like we've created a nice little nest where it feels a little bit more like a home together. It's been a year that we've lived together.


[20:48] VL: this is actually one of the questions from Faith, who wants to know if we can talk about our, and then they quoted us like, I'm gonna change the words like pandemic relationship so basically, Craig and I met in 2019. And this summer, And then it got a little more serious in the fall. We joked about cuffing season, and where I kept Craig, in September, and then we both went on our own little trips in February or January and then when we, when we came back we were basically in this global pandemic. And, you know, the two weeks to flatten the curve was like, Oh well, I'll just stay at your house for two weeks. It actually wasn't two weeks and then all of a sudden, like I was living here and all my stuff was here and I was decorating and yeah.


So, basically, Craig, Faith’s question is to talk a little bit about this dynamic and how we've stayed sane and kept our relationship healthy over the past year or so.


C: Thank you for your question. Look, do I feel that it's been easy all the time. No, we've we've certainly had challenges, you know, and I definitely, definitely, definitely would admit that it's not always roses, but I do appreciate and love you very much. I guess this made it a bit easier in the beginning because I was perhaps a bit less selfless. I wanted to do stuff for you more, you know, I kind of set my own aside for us. And I've been very fortunate where my workers as kept going.


VL: Okay, I'll jump in here just for some context. So at the beginning of the pandemic. My job changed immediately and drastically so I lost my main source of income and I was kind of just working off of some of the passive income I was building on the side which I wasn't actively pursuing so it was a very small fraction of what I was taking home every month, whereas Craig's job was deemed essential so there wasn't a lot that changed for you other than maybe some flexibility with where you had to be so there was a little bit more working from home on Craig's and I was now completely throwing myself into my online business and as any entrepreneur would explain to you that you know the reward or the, the, the finances, they don't necessarily come overnight, it is a bit more of like, okay, we need to build this growth but I was, I was building an entirely new foundation so essentially I was building a new business and Craig was incredibly supportive of me emotionally, mentally, I mean you let me stay here at your at your house, and we kind of came up with an arrangement that made the best sense for us at the time and it's evolved a little bit but yeah so I kind of took to this like domestic role of cooking, not so much cleaning but I was cooking meals.


And I was like making our little nest for us while you were bringing home the bacon so they say.


And it like it'll happen very quickly and it was like, Oh, we don't really know how long this is going to last long and I mean, yeah, I would agree that not everything has been super easy, but I feel like we've learned so much about each other, and about ourselves, and this is actually the first time I've ever lived with a partner too so I think that was one of my, my hesitant or that's where my where my hesitancy came from was like, oh this is new and this is scary and I'm not making any money and or I'm not making as much money as before and, yeah, it's a bit of a vulnerable time for me.


C: Yeah, cuz I think I made a promotion. Last year, during that. So things are doing really really well can remember. I can remember feeling quite terrible though because my, my work although consistent is is not, you know, some days can be stressful, but it's not terrible. And I can remember you work in your past. We can get by. And I, I, deep down inside, I hope that, why not I hope I know that your time is coming, because I've seen how hard you work and I've seen how far you throw yourself into things and I sometimes feel it's not fair. You know some of your journey this, this last few years of this pandemic, I don't feel it's fair. But I don't know quite how else to support you, other than to be there for you and to support you the best I can.


Sometimes I feel I dropped the ball at it, but, you know, other times, do my best. 


VL: Craig is really, you are really supportive of me and in a lot of ways, and honestly, most of the time. So, again more context, because the studio the Pilates studio is closed right now I've been spending more time at home. So sometimes I just, it's just nice for when you come home for us to be around each other and have, like, for me, quality time is really important right now because I spend so much time alone. That being around you, and like, no phones and no emails and no TV and just having like a genuine conversation is really important to me.


And then, you know that I have like a walking habit but if I can add an additional walk with you and get some fresh air. Like, I feel like this is, it sounds like somebody's so small, but it's so important to me that time with you.


C: But I remember as you weren't getting out to us sitting and saying hey you need to get out. Come on, totally. Yeah, and that's what I think the walking habit stemmed from.


VL: Yeah a lot of it, I felt like the lazy, a lazy bum and you were like you need fresh air, you need to get outside. The best is when you came up did you leave the house today. No new, did you get up today. Does making another cup of coffee.


What about each other. Yeah and you know what this is probably like one of my most serious relationships, like I said I've never lived with a partner before and so I felt a lot of times, like, is this what it's like to live with somebody like my friends kept saying no.


What about each other. Yeah and you know what this is probably like one of my most serious relationships, like I said I've never lived with a partner before and so I felt a lot of times, like, is this what it's like to live with somebody like my friends kept saying no.


You know I've looked like my friends have lived with their partners for years. And since the pandemic, a lot has changed you're spending way more time with your significant other, you know, you're not getting the outlet of socializing with your friends or Craig likes to go skydiving like we weren't doing those things but because this is like the pretty much. Probably two thirds of our relationship I've been through the pandemic. Yeah, so it's very, it's, it's gonna be different regardless.


C: Honestly, I feel sometimes it's, it's definitely a case of make or break. And I think, I think, in this time we went away. Together we've done a few good things and we've got a few coming up so yeah we have the fabulous little like weekend road trip kind of things that have been fun, or adventurous to come. Yeah.


[29:08] VL: Okay so we have a few personal questions. Nothing crazy. So, Lisa wants to know the, your favorite thing about yourself.


C: Thank you for the question, Lisa, the favorite. My favorite thing about myself. I can't give the credit all to myself for this. But I guess the favorite thing I would think about myself is my ability to bounce back. There's, like, I, I grew up in Zimbabwe and we kind of lost our homes and byways and moved to Australia and started from zero. And then I moved to Canada and kind of started from zero and come a long way.


If you asked me 20 years ago. Do you ever, you know, would you feel that you would have moved this far or I still would have been on a farm in Zimbabwe. So, it's been, it's been a very long and tough journey and there's a lot of good people to thank, you know that have been with me.


And then in many different ways and some, some of them it's just, you know, a very small, you know, somebody just touched my life and the most smallest way but it's done me a huge benefit but I think that's probably the, I don't know if it's even.


VL: That's a great answer, I would agree with that. And then Lisa also asked, What do you want to work on with Val?


C: I would like to ultimately build our own little Empire, and have a little family and have a little house and go on vacation vacations and maybe start living a little bit, a little bit more than we have been I think we've you know you've been tied up during this this Corona thing and I would, I would appreciate to be able to stretch our legs as a couple, a little bit more out, I'd like for us to become a lot more successful. And, you know, I'd like to be there. I think I have been there like what year but has come to you, having a bit of hesitation with moving forward with your business and stuff and sometimes I'm just like, go home, don't jump on it, don't be shy like move, move, move, so I'd like to work on that as well. So be successful and be happy. And maybe content.


Like, I think we once, when you want to ask me like, What do you say don't just to be comfortable, You're like, what does that mean, like, what's comfort mean to you and that, that still, it still resonates in my mind because I'm not wondering well what is comfortable, you know, what does it mean and what do we want and I think we've started to understand each other a bit better about, you know, if we bought a house, what would it look like and, you know, one of the things that we both kind of enjoy and I guess one of the things, if I'm going to be truly honest.


One of the things I'd really like to work on as well as feeling super comfortable in our relationship to the point that you know you go on your trips and I'll be calm in my heart.

I guess that's, I think we're getting to that point that relationship where we're a lot more confident with each other and yeah.



[33:16] VL: So, when people tell me they want to be comfortable as a goal I cringe because comfort is not a goal. And, you know, like I'm very fortunate for where I grew up and how I like this incredible people that I've attracted into my life and the and the situations I've been in like I'm very fortunate. And if someone asked me, Are you comfortable, I would say yes I am comfortable, and even with Craig like where you've come from and where you are now to tell me that you're not comfortable in your house and you have an amazing job and, like, you don't have to worry about putting food on the table, in my opinion, this is comfort so that's why I always encourage people to one figure out what comfort means to you because you probably already are comfortable and to, to raise the bar like, what do you actually want to feel because you want to buy a bigger house or we want to buy a bigger house together. But comfort in a bigger home is not what we're looking for. We're looking for a spacious mess we're looking for, you know, expansion because we want to build a family like we want to have a backyard we want to be. We don't want to have to move our freaking cars around every day.


You know we want to be able to have like space for our bicycles and our paddleboards and all the other things that we, we want to include so, so really that's where I'm coming from with that is, is why I don't agree when people say the comfort is the goal because most of the people who I'm speaking to who are saying that are well more than comfortable.


C: Yeah, right. Um, I think one of the other things that, that I've really enjoyed about our little journey is that, you know, when we, when we look back and we we see some of the experiences we've had, and some of the photos, we've taken, you know, we find these old memories and have a good chuckle. I, I think the last year and a bit have most likely been some of the best years of my life. Like I feel super, like I feel a lot more settled in myself.


And I think this has allowed us to have a really great journey and one of the things I'd like to keep working on with you is making more memories, good memories. You know that we look back and like you forget a lot of them and we you know you say to me, what are you grateful for it. And we become conscious and think back to the things that we've done and have a good giggle like we've, we've done a lot of good stuff. I look forward to do a lot more.


[36:30] VL: Thank you for sharing and I look forward to doing more with you too. We're pulling on Craig's heartstrings. A little teary.


Good questions. So we have another question from Yvonne and I'm going to change the question just a teeny bit. So I would say I would rephrase this question as if you're giving advice to another couple, whether they're a couple of a couple years, or several years. But the question that she's asking is, how do you encourage your partner to practice more healthy habits, without coming off too forceful so I would say like, what advice would you give to another couple?


C: Thanks everyone for that question. this one for me is super super challenging because I've been in some relationships where somebody is expected check to change something and you don't feel equal or hurt in the relationship. And no matter what approach that person takes.


You're not gonna budge, or if you do, it'll just be to appease them on a shallow level sort of thing.


I really feel that you need to work at. At hearing your, your person hadn't appreciated your person, and communicating with your person, to the point that you actually care about each other and you love each other, to become a lot more selfless and a lot more open and less defensive and all of that.


Want to win once you get to actually see how that person is, you'll figure out how to navigate that minefield, because honestly, at the end of the day like it really does feel like a minefield sometimes.


So, I think, step one is not to, not on the approach of the question is, step one is to actually know the person, and to understand the person.


Once you know and understand that, then you can start to ask or approach it the right way.


Does that make sense?


VL: Yeah, so, and I say this to Craig all the time he he'll ask me to do something.


I don't necessarily want to do, and they'll say to Craig You know what, if you asked it to me this way. I would do it, but if you're saying, and it's, It's because I like, because I know what's gonna motivate me to do that action. Whereas if it sounds like someone's telling you something, the way I am, as a personality, I will put it off, longer if you keep asking me to do something with Craig I found that, and again I think you're right, I think it is about, it's different depending on the specific depending on the person, but with you I found that if I explain to you why this habit wasn't important. You were more willing to change it. And I also didn't come at you like you. You did list a lot of things that have changed since knowing me, but they didn't all happen at the first meeting, right, so like, I noticed that his green van container where we throw our compost had was a storage container for bags, and for grocery bags, like the ones that you dispose up the plastic bags and I was like, whoa, Whoa whoa whoa So like right away we were using disposable grocery bags, and also there was no place to put our food waste. So, yeah, that's another one.


So, again, like here I am like the alarms are going off all the red flags, he doesn't recycle. I'm just kidding, that's a huge red flag that's changeable.


So I was like okay so I bought the green bin bags and I said, actually this bin is for this, and this is why this is important. Garbage people take this every week, and then we swapped to the produce bags, and the reusable grocery bags, and the grocery store, we go to, they use paper bags anyway they don't even use plastic anymore so that's helpful.


Craig has come a LONG way!


C: What's the other thing sustainability.


VL: But yeah, a lot of those things.


C: I think it's definitely, because there's been there's been things like Val hates cleaning. She cannot, and now I love cleaning.



VL: You know, wait wait wait, you love the house being clean, you don't love it. I like the result.


C: But we compromise. Like, there's a lot of compromise and there's a lot of give and take and that's why I think it's really important to understand the other person, and to know the limits and then it's gonna need to know the limits but then it's is to know within yourself, whether your ex, you're willing to accept that this is the way it's going to be, you know that some things you may not change so you have to compromise and you have to not grow to resent them you need to just let it go and breathe and move on to another thing that's much more worth the battle.


[41:55] VL: Well, it's been such a pleasure to have you on the podcast I still have a couple more questions for you but I did want to say thank you so much because I know you were a little bit nervous but also, I kind of, you're very polite and professional on the show I thought you'd be… Maybe next time you'll be a little more your charismatic self.


C: I know what it means to you.


VL: Thank you. Before we get into the rapid fire round


RAPID FIRE ROUND

1. What are you currently reading? Or what is your favourite book?

C: I'm gonna have to get it out. It's about leadership as sad as a guy who was in the ASA, and his leadership techniques.


2. What does empowerment mean to you?

C: There is nothing that you can put your mind to like if you put your mind to it, you can achieve it differently. If you want something just go get it. It's yours. Everything's attainable goals and only walls you put up your own walls. So empowering myself as pulling down my own walls, I guess.


3. What are you currently working toward?

C: There are three things that I've tried to focus on now. And I've kind of class them in buckets. One of them is being a lot more successful at work. But, in being successful being settled as well, perhaps taking work seriously but trying to cut down the stress. That's one success at work, reducing stress.


The other thing is, building and working on on my family. By that I mean, being more in touch with my, my family, being more in touch with you, because I consider you my family, appreciating and being more in touch with your family. Also consider them my family now, and appreciating the small things like watching my brother's children grow up and being a little bit more part of it and trying to be more active and getting involved with them and, you know, making a family with you and growing our lives.


I love your family anyway so I think things go well there but it's a relationship that needs to be nurtured as well. And then my other pocket is being happy doing things that I love to do. For skydiving, as going camping and the things that we're looking forward to doing like a happiness bucket, work, family,


VL: Sounds like like core values which I've talked a lot about the podcast, share those episodes with you later.


Well thank you so much again I want to acknowledge you for one taking the time to, to do this with me because it meant a lot to me I was a little bit nervous but like I said, I was also super excited to have you on the show you were an incredible guest very polite and professional.


There's a different side to learning about today.


And I also want to acknowledge you for being a really incredible and supportive partner because I don't know what I would have done this year without you or how it would have gone, and you're always empowering me and you're always supporting me and encouraging me to take the big leaps that I am mortified to take, and I definitely would say that my, my success and my growth this year has been because of your support and encouragement, So thank you so much.


C: Thank you, you’re an amazing woman, I love you too.

VL: Aww

 

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E128: How Healthy are Your Habits?
 
 

E128: How Healthy are Your Habits?

Whether or not you realize it, you have many habits in your day. But are those habits helping you, or are they hurting you? In today’s episode we bring awareness to what's working, what isn’t and some next steps to elevate our daily routines…


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[1:09] Part One: Collecting the Data

The very first step to making any change is awareness. We need to know what current habits we have, and whether or not they are: beneficial, detrimental, or neutral. Let’s get started by creating a habit scorecard.

To do this you will need: a piece of paper or notebook and a writing utensil. You can also use the notes app on your phone if you prefer. I always recommend starting with the pen and paper because it’s a bit easier to evaluate and see the big picture than it would be to scroll along on your phone. 

It’s important to remember that the purpose of this exercise is to bring awareness to your current daily routines, not to judge yourself for them. We will be evaluating the habit, which is separate from us at this time. 

Here’s how the scorecard works: from the moment you wake up, you are going to write down a list of everything you do; every activity throughout your day until you go to bed at night. 

When you’re writing your list, keep these three things in mind:

  1. Be as detailed as possible. Don’t skip little habits, even if they seem insignificant, or you aren’t doing them every day. These are still very important. 

  2. Be honest. Not all of our habits are good ones; that’s okay. We’re doing this exercise so that we can understand our starting point.

  3. This is a judgement-free zone. Even if your entire morning is stacked full of “bad habits” the point of the exercise is to collect information, not judge ourselves. You’re already making a positive impact on yourself and your life just by listening to this episode and taking action on your daily routines. You’ve got this!


Here’s a bonus part to the scorecard exercise: include mindset habits. These are our thoughts and thought patterns. For example, when you wake up in the morning your thoughts could be that you’re excited for the day. Or when you’re driving to work you’re thinking about how you’re already counting down the hours until you can drive back home after work.

E04: Your Mindset is a Habit  

Use your habit scorecard every day for one whole week. Technically you can do this for one day, however you’ll collect more accurate data from seven full + consecutive days, especially if each day is different for you. At the very least I suggest making a scorecard for 2 weekend days, and 2 weekdays.

[4:12] Part Two: Evaluating the Data

Once you have your list of daily routines, it’s time to rate them. 

Highlight with yellow, or put a + sign beside any “good habit.” A good habit is beneficial and improves your life. Examples: meditation, exercising, staying hydrated, flossing, etc.

Highlight with blue, or put a - sign beside any “bad habit.” A bad habit is detrimental and doesn’t solve problems in your life. Examples: Hitting snooze multiple times, checking instagram first thing in the morning, grabbing a sugary latte and snack on the drive to work, etc.

Don’t highlight, or put an = sign beside any “neutral habits.” A neutral habit is something that must be done. Examples: getting dressed, going to the bathroom, driving to work, etc.

Now remember that bonus part of the scorecard? Where we were recording our mindset patterns? Our neutral habits MUST BE DONE, but that doesn't always mean our thoughts are neutral also. As you are tracking your habits, notice if you have positive, negative, or neutral mindset/thoughts around these neutral habits (and your other habits). You might find that getting dressed in the morning is actually detrimental because you are wearing clothes that don’t fit you properly and negative self talk starts to come up. Or while you’re going to the bathroom you are reading the news on your phone and you’re experiencing some issues with digestion because you aren’t actually present or connected to your body. 

I know this is getting pretty detailed, so if you’ve never brought awareness to your habits before, start with the simple scorecard with the daily actions.

If you’re interested in making more internal/mindset shifts, this is where you need to bring your attention to WHILE you’re doing certain activities. 

Sometimes it helps to start simple with your scorecard for the first two days, and then get more detailed with your mindset the following two days and so on.


[6:29] Part Three: Using the Data

Once you’ve collected the information, take a look at your scorecards. What do you see? There are no right or wrong answers, but here are some examples of what you might find...

  • A balance of good and bad habits

  • More good habits in the beginning of the day, and bad habits in the evening

  • More habits than you thought you had

Look through everything and notice if there are any specific bad habits that you’d like to change. As always, start with ONE thing you’d like to work on at a time. Usually you’ll discover which habit you want to change pretty quickly while you’re tracking and evaluating. 

As an example let’s say you’ve gotten in the habit of eating ice cream before bed. You rated this as a bad habit that you want to change. Instead of trying to eliminate this habit immediately, consider what you can replace this habit with, or how you can modify the habit.

For example: you are going to replace the ice cream with half a cup of fruit or a scoop of peanut butter, or a peppermint tea.

Or you will have half the serving you normally have of ice cream and without the extra toppings you add to it like m&ms and sprinkles. Then, perhaps you only have the ice cream if it’s before 8pm or only on weekends; limiting the habit to weekly instead of nightly. This could turn into a gradual elimination of the habit.

As you're building this new habit, it’s important to track it. The best trackers are automatic, like a step counter attached to your phone or watch. For our ice cream example we would have to track it manually. A suggestion I would have would be putting a calendar up on your freezer/fridge door and each time you DON’T go for the ice cream and reach your new goal/habit put a sticker or an X on the date. See if you can continue the chain of X’s without breaking it for more than two days in a row. 

This will help you track your habit, and also help you see the progress you are making. You can also write WHY this new habit is important to you on the top of your calendar to remind you why you’ve decided to make this change. Perhaps you want to be healthier, or have better quality sleep. 

Another way to support your new habit is to set up a habit trigger. This could be setting up your kettle, favourite mug, and a tea bag after you’ve cleaned up the dinner dishes so that it’s easier for you to make a tea versus a bowl of ice cream. 

You can also let your family members, or roommate know you’re working on this new habit. Maybe ask them to check in with you, encourage you, or do the challenge with you!?

How you choose to take action on the information will be entirely up to you. When you’re creating an action plan, here are my best tips/practices:

  1. Start with one habit you’d like to change/modify/adjust 

  2. Swap the habit versus eliminate it entirely 

  3. Track your new habit/progress either manually or automatically 

  4. Set up habit triggers to make the new healthy habit easier than the old bad habit

  5. Tell a friend to help keep you accountable with your new habits 

Your next immediate step is to start that habit score card! Get the pen and notebook ready right now and place it beside your bed so you can start listing your daily activities from the moment you wake up.

When you’re done you can send me a photo of your scorecard or tag me in a story/post on instagram @vallavignelife I’d love to see where you’re at with your experiment!

 

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E127: 6 Procrastination Stuck-Spots and How to Overcome Them
 
 

E127: 6 Procrastination Stuck-Spots and How to Overcome Them

Overcome your most common stuck-spots when it comes to procrastination…


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[2:25] Grade 5 speech, opening line:

“P-R-O-C-R-A-S-T-I-N-A-T-I-O-N. Procrastination is a very long word, and some of you may not know what it means…”


Procrastination is more than avoiding or delaying, and it’s not laziness. When we procrastinate we are actively choosing to do something else. We’re taking action, just not on the task we are meant to be acting on. Which means there is a deeper issue at hand that we need to consider as to WHY we might be procrastinating.


When you find yourself procrastinating, evaluate your work/study habits. Chances are, they’re going to fall into 1 (or more) of these 6 stuck-spots!


Start by asking yourself these questions:

  1. Is there a certain thing I always put off last?

  2. What is it?

  3. What are my thought patterns around it?


Investigating why we do things is important for breaking our unhelpful habits and patterns, we have to figure out why we’re doing them in the first place. And when we know why, we will be able to create a strategy to overcome it!


Let’s investigate further and look into where we get stuck when it comes to procrastination...

[5:57] 1. VALUE

Does the task lack value?

I recently had a conversation with a friend and business owner who was feeling down about her current ideas and strategy for her business. As she was explaining her situation she started talking about the intention behind her brand and her business, and suddenly everything changed. She lit up with excitement about her business and became so passionate about the intention and why behind her business. She remembered why she started it and recognized that the current work she was doing needed the passion and clarity she began the company with. This rejuvenated inspiration led her into creation mode where she took inspired action and felt that her ideas were valuable again.


This situation can be true for many of us. For some, we will reconnect to the value and importance of the project, and for others we will need to change our strategy and pivot.


[7:08] 2. TIMING

Is there an issue with timing?

Most people are more productive during certain times of the day, and knowing when we work best, is really important when it comes to managing our time and time blocking. Don’t schedule your work when you’re tired.


If you aren’t sure where your time is being spent, or when you work best, I recommend tracking our week. To do this you will need a pen and paper, or a notebook and you’re literally going to write down everything you do in a week; day-by-day, and how much time you spend doing that task. From when you wake up, to when you go to bed.


This method is incredibly eye-opening and will reveal MANY things about yourself, including some of our worst habits, and also when we tend to be most productive. Do this every day for a whole week and re-evaluate when you time-block certain tasks and how much time you give them.


[8:33] 3. OVERWHELMED

Do you get overwhelmed by big tasks?

Aim to chunk things down into smaller, more manageable tasks to be more efficient and less stressed. 


I can’t tell you how much time I’ve spent stressing about a massive to-do list, when I could have easily used that energy to take action and start crossing things off the list. Now what I do is make a master to do list, and go into detail breaking down the bigger tasks into smaller chunks. And by smaller chunks, I mean get as small as you need to so that you can start making headway on the work that needs to be done. 


As an example: The to do list no longer reads “workout” you can now say 

Workout

  • Put on workout clothes

  • Put on deodorant

  • Put on running shoes

  • Pick a sweet playlist for the workout

  • Exercises: 30 minute circuit video with exhale pilates



[11:01] 4. DELAYED GRATIFICATION

This can be similar to stuck-spot number one. We might struggle with thinking the project is important or rewarding unless it’s being done right before the deadline - like me with this podcast episode being produced the night before - YIKES!


We go through our day to day tasks and to do lists and only see the slow progress being made, and the reward or gratification isn’t until the very end of a big project. This is why we’ll leave things just before the deadline to feel a sense of completion and gratification. 


To overcome this stuck spot, find ways to reward yourself along the way of a project. Like when we break our goals down to smaller chunks, reward the end of day, or end of week, for those larger projects.


Kat Gaskin, founder and creator of The Content Planner, created a section in the content planner where at the end of each week you write down your wins; big or small! The reward can be recognition for moving the needle closer to your goal, it can be a celebratory experience or gift, whatever helps YOU stay motivated and on track.


[12:24] 5. LACK OF FOCUS/EASILY DISTRACTED

When it comes to productivity, one of the biggest struggles my audience had was lack of focus, and getting easily distracted. 


Overcoming this starts with optimizing our space and eliminating/minimizing our distractions. Task switching or multi-tasking is not only a HUGE productivity fail (we go deeper into productivity in Episode 125: Powerful Productivity Practices), but it also makes you feel like you’re not getting anything done because everything is half finished and we are in this never ending cycle that keeps us busy and inundated with work.


Which is why I always recommend focusing on one task at a time, and creating impactful transitions between tasks. Like a breathing practice, a walk in nature, getting up and drinking a glass of water, etc.


[13:46] 6. HITTING A WALL 

As a business owner, a multi-passionate entrepreneur, and healthy habits coach, I will tell you straight up that I have days when it feels impossible to finish tasks. Sometimes I think I am the queen of procrastination. And because I am someone who is productive and energetic more often than not, I can easily fall into the negative self talk of “not good enough” and lack self-worth. 


Here’s how to get unstuck: rephrase the internal dialogue. Forgive and give yourself permission to take breaks, cut losses, and shower yourself in love and self care. I took a walk this morning to clear my head and move my body and I didn’t feel guilty for it. 


I enjoyed Il Dolce Far Niente, the art of doing nothing (italian). And honestly, I made up for lost time you could say because after a refresh and restart I was able to get the project and tasks completed in less time because of how much more open and recharged I was.


Now I know I said that there were six procrastination stuck spots, however there could be one more. And this might be a deeper struggle. Perhaps it’s a symptom of something more serious. If this feels like you, don’t hesitate to reach out to a professional and ask for help for managing the significant distress at a deeper level.



Thank you so much for listening to this episode of the women’s empowerment show, if you thought of a friend who might love this topic, please share it with them. Let’s continue the conversation over on instagram @vallavignelife

 
Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E126: Living in Alignment with Core Values with Jana Mutch
 
 

E126: Living in Alignment with Core Values with Jana Mutch

From understanding what your core values feel like in your body, to making better decisions, better habits, and manifesting the life your soul is craving, we’re covering it all in this in-depth episode of how you can start living in alignment with your core values today…


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[1:10] Valerie LaVigne: Welcome to another special guests episode of the Women's Empowerment Podcast. Today I'm speaking with intuitive guide, Jana. Jana ditched her comfy senior like leadership role of a fast paced tech company to start living out her soul's purpose. Her goal is to help strong wild women to feel empowered to return to their authentic selves so that they can live the life, their soul, is creating. Oh my goodness, I feel like so connected a call to this.

Like I know, I read it and I'm thinking, I need to know more, like, I want to know more, I need to know more, can you tell us a little bit more about how you do the things that you do and what is an intuitive guide. 



[1:58] Jana Mutch: Yeah, well I guess my, my journey, sort of, officially started when I was still at my corporate job. You know I think everyone is born with some intuition and you connect with it, you know in varying degrees from the time that you're, You know, just first coming earthside, you know, and I was very connected when I was a kid but then go up, you learn, like maybe it's a bit weird, or you don't want to be connecting with your intuition in this way or you know you're just sort of learn to shut it down through conditioning through your own, you know, sort of confidence or your own sort of like insecurities. So, I have done that. I've definitely done that over the years of working in a corporate job that I was starting to not love, you know, being in an environment where I'm working in the tech industry and it's super fast paced, there's like hyper growth, hyper growth like I started at this company when we were 12 and within about a year and a half, we had grown to 60 employees. I had been, you know, running a project of building out a 10,000 square foot office on top of my full time job on top of another like part time job, You know, and just the more I was not company, the more I was like this doesn't feel good for me anymore. I'm like really reactive I don't feel like myself, I just feel like I'm on autopilot.


You know I was just going through the motions every day. And one of my really good friends had said to me, you know, I met this is healer this energy healer and I think you would really like her, you should have an appointment with her. And I was like, I don't really know what that even means. But I trust you so I'm just gonna do it. So I booked a session with an energy healer. And it was exactly what I didn't know I needed, and we got through working with her I did a couple sessions with her and she had said to me, I think you're actually meant to be doing this work. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, I'm like, I'm meant to be climbing the corporate ladder, I'm meant to be, you know, the boss, I'm meant to be making a difference in these big companies, it's just like an extra sure that you're meant to do energy work. And she started training me, connecting back to my intuition.


And, you know, just sort of, she was my mentor, still to this day as my mentor and a very good friend, but she was really, you know, sort of the catalyst and into this world. And then through working with her like I started really working with energy, feeling people's energy. And, you know, Just moving in. Moving on any blockages that was depleted like putting energy back in their body, or just getting everyone feeling back selves and balanced.


And the more I started doing that, the more my intuition started opening up, And the more other gifts started opening up.


You know I was, I was doing all of this work alongside working, you know in this corporate role, and starting to feel so much more disconnected from, you know this full time job, to the point where I was like okay I need to get out and I know now that I am meant to be doing. You know this intuitive work this energy work this healing work.


You know, so eventually I separated from my job in the tech world, and my full time to do in energy QA and intuitive work, and through doing that work more and more. My guests have been more and more, and I found, you know that I was really good at sort of feeling into people's bodies, and feeling their energy, and then from that feeling deciphering what it meant, like, what is the thing that's going on in their life that's causing this feeling in their body. And how do we work through that.


You know, so it's a mix of traditional energy healing like Reiki. Also with, you know, some intuitive guidance so I just received the messages.This is, this is the thing that's really going to help you, you know, this is the, this is an exercise that's going to help you, this is the, you know, sort of, the tool that you can start putting into place to help you move through this block, or move through this period of your life, move through this thing that is just making you feel like you're spinning your wheels and going nowhere.

So that's, you know, short story long, that is me and that is intuitive guide guidance and that is energy work.



[7:39] VL: I love all of this, and we talk about it a little bit on the show but we've been starting to incorporate it more and more that intuition, you know, really connecting with what feels good for you living a more intentional, all of this, and we talked about it a little bit on the show but we've been starting to incorporate it more than more than intuition, really connecting with what feels good for you living a more intentional and aligned life.


What I'd love to start with is, how can we figure out that feeling of like yes what I'm doing right now is right for me or it's not right for me. You said that when you were in your corporate job, you started to get this sense that, Okay wait, maybe this isn't for me or maybe this isn't in my alignment or my wheelhouse, like how do we how do we know, how do we know.




[8:28] JM: Yeah, so there was, there was a couple of really big, sort of like alarm bells or warning signs for me and at first it started up more subtle as, you know signs from the universe or, you know your Self, your soul speaking to always do, they start off a little more subtle. And, you know, if you keep ignoring it, it's gonna get all of a sudden it's just like, Alright we are going to do something major to get your attention. So for me it started out with, you know, even I used to hop out of bed in the morning and be so excited to go, you know, make a difference at this company.


Yeah, so there was, there was a couple of really big, sort of like alarm bells or warning signs for me and at first it started up more subtle as, you know signs from the universe or, you know your Self, your soul speaking to always do, they start off a little more subtle. And, you know, if you keep ignoring it, it's gonna get all of a sudden it's just like, Alright we are going to do something major to get your attention. So for me it started out with, you know, even I used to hop out of bed in the morning and be so excited to go, you know, make a difference at this company.


I learned started to be the way I would react to people, you know, working and my job was in operations so working in operations here, like the fixer and the, you know, the sort of one that puts out the fires and you're the one that keeps the business operating smoothly, you know you're like that duck on the pond where it looks all calm and underneath the surface, your legs are just kicking away but no one sees what's going on under the surface, but you know people would come and ask me for, you know, something that would make their job easier or, You know, can you, can you fix this area of the business and I started getting reactive to it. I started feeling this real.


And now I know what it is but at the time, I was feeling this real, like, almost sort of fire in my solar plexus so that area sort of right where your ribs meet up. And that was this feeling of someone else is controlling my time, someone else is, you know, making these decisions for what my day looks like and I was starting to really struggle with that because one of my core values is freedom. And so this felt like it was really really like crossing boundaries, stepping into one of my core values. That was not feeling good and I would react I would be, you know, very much whether I would say it out loud or not is a different story but I didn't feel it in my body, I would feel that reaction, my solar plexus and just be like, Oh, I don't want this.


You know another sign was showing up at the office.


I would park my car and I would go walk to the front door, and I could feel.

I could almost feel my body, my energy shrink it, like I just felt, you know you can feel it if you're, if you're having a conversation with your friend and you're talking about something that you're really passionate about you sit up taller, your shoulders are back, you're more open, we are more expressive versus like walking into this office, I would, atomic get from my car to the front door, you know my shoulders were almost like rolled forward.


I felt a little bit tired, I just felt myself getting small. And by the time I would walk up the stairs to my desk, I was like, Oh, I just feel like this, shrunken version of myself.

That doesn't feel good when you're sitting in that for a time. And you know when I would compare that to going and doing my, my practice, energy healing and energy work and, like, intuitive guidance when I was still, you know, like, doing sort of my training with my mentor. I feel so different I feel so alive, I could be so tired from my day when I get there and all of a sudden, my shoulders are back, my hearts open my, you know the energy in my voice is different because I'm excited and I was like, Yes, this is, this is lighting out, and I feel so free and I feel like, you know, my energy, my, my body my being just feels so much bigger than I actually am physically.


So, those were sort of the real tells for me.



[12:58] VL: Yeah, it was what I found interesting was that you used to be really inspired by and excited for your job and then over time that started to change. And I think the other key piece to part of your journey is that, you know you've, you have there was something else that was trying to lighten you up. And it was almost like a moment or the person that you need to meet, to show you that actually you can feel better in your body you can be excited about something again and you can feel more connected to freedom and your other core values, we talked about core values actually quite a few episodes in the, In the show, and I love how each guest brought up core values has a different meaning. So, if we could just kind of briefly into what core values are and maybe how we can connect to that.



[13:58] JM: Yeah, I have done, as I'm sure many of you have done quizzes done so many, like, you know, test score activities to find out what your core values are. I've pulled, family and friends that know me really well. You know I did an exercise in brown workshop where we had to sit with a stranger, and tell a story that felt like it really summed us up and that stranger than pits your values out of the story, and, you know, Of all the times I've gotten as my values are, like, you know even strangers are picking out my values, you know exactly how I would describe them. So for me, you know like how do I get to the core values like what's really important to me, what's a non negotiable. What is something that, you know, it's almost like this, guiding light for how you make your decisions. You know I said earlier that one of my, one of my core values is freedom. And, you know for me freedom is, you know, being able to be the one in charge of my calendar, you know, I get to decide what I do with my days what I do with my time freedom also has, you know, for me it has to do with being able to go on adventures, which is also one of my core values So freedom is like having that time and having that space to go on adventures.


You know, so if I'm ever. If I was ever to go back working for someone. this, you know like looking at holidays like what's the vacation schedule like, Okay, you say I get two weeks. Can we negotiate on that or can I take some time unpaid, and I'm okay taking it unpaid because I need to know that I have freedom I have that extra space to go do the things that make me feel lit up.


You know, another one for me like I said is adventure and adventure is, you know, it's traveling for me mostly and I know you and I've talked about that in other conversations, and I love to Guatemala, and, you know, that adventure I think I would guess that adventure is one for you also.


And, you know, I think just really, a really good way to do your values is just to sort of think about think about the things that you couldn't live without, like, think about the things that you spend a lot of your time doing or that you could do, and almost like not even realize that you've spent an entire day doing it or think of, you know, sort of the the people that you're drawn to what do they have in common. And, you know, for, for me, having those in place is such, like, it just helps you make so many more decisions right like does this play into what makes me feel good. What I know like, you know, so I think that's, that's probably the best place to start when we're talking about, you know, living in alignment, how do you find your alignment. Start with your start with your values first start with the things that are most important to know there's tons of books or even websites where you can get a list of words to sort of spark creativity.


But then, I would encourage you to question a little bit further, and from that word.


Write your own definition. What does that word mean to you, because you know something that, you know like, if you and I both share connection as a value connection is going to play out in my life, probably different than how it plays out in your life. So I think having that word and then also defining what that word means for you is just, you know that next step, that just makes the decision making process, or you know just answering that question, is this in alignment with the way I want to live my life. It just makes it so much easier.



[18:19] VL: So many great points. Definitely freedom and adventure, are part of my core values 100% Adventure definitely knowing your core values is helping you make decisions.


I mean there's so many things that last part about defining what the word means for you I think that is a really important piece for everybody because exactly like you and I could have very similar core values and they need to make us feel like we're very similar in a lot of ways, but let's circle back to making decisions off of our core values like how, how do we know that we're making the right decision, how do we, how we go abou that?




[19:06] JM: Yeah so I think, you know once you've defined your core values, have them written down somewhere to have them, have them in a notebook, have them somewhere that you can reflect back on them because you just might forget them or it's not, you know, front of mind when you're making a decision, so it's always good to just have, you know, whether it's sticking out, whether it's in a notebook whether notes on your phone, whatever that looks like for you. So, knowing your values.


And then, you know, sort of having that in your mind, and then I like this is this is my favorite way to make a decision and like seeing if it's in alignment or not, is, you know, sort of connecting with your breath. Take a few deep breaths, really sort of get balanced.


Get clear get grounded, you know, just really sort of get in touch with your body.


And then, you know, say to yourself, like let's use the example of another job. So you get this job offer, and you're like, oh my gosh, this was more money than I ever thought I would make.


But, you know like that might feel really expensive, you may be like oh my gosh this is amazing. That was so good I never thought I would like reach this sort of like financial goal or like a goal that's so much better than I ever thought.


You're expected to be available in the evenings to answer emails or you're expected to be available to your team, you know, through text message or, you know, even phone calls or something on the weekends. So, how does that feel if your value is freedom. That doesn't feel very free, and you can probably feel your body start, start to get a little bit small start to shrink because you're like, oh, okay, so it's more money, which, you know, pay for more adventure or it's like, you know, freedom of time I can pay for like house cleaners or meal service. Oh but then on the other hand, my time isn't my time anymore, I have to be available 24 seven. That feels really, you know, that feels really constricting.


You'll feel it in your body. And so we can even do out with, you know, just take a breath right now and sort of tune into your body, and then you can do it with all sorts of words like if I say the word creative.

How does that feel in your body?



[22:15] VL: I've been doing a lot of work with this recently, creative feels so good on my body to this point where I like, I want to open up, and I might almost leaning closer into this, like, into the Word.



[22:29] JM: And then if I was to say something like, it's time to do all your taxes. It might just feel a bit flat right.



[22:41] VL: Yeah, I actually think I'm a weirdo sometimes.I don't mind so I don't actually do my own taxes, I prepare the information to have someone do my taxes, wonderful, but I, I kind of like looking at the analytics of the year. It's not my favorite thing to do, but I only do it like either once a month or, at the end of the year I kind of wrap it all up. I think if you said desk job my whole body would just close up.



[22:23] JM: Yeah, that's a really good example. You know and so for anyone listening like just say that to yourself desk job, and, you know, for some people, they might be like, Oh my gosh, you know that, that just sounds like the worst thing imaginable and for other people, they're like you know, I couldn't like working at a desk I like looking at a computer I like being in an office I like the interaction I have with people. So, you know, there's no, there's no wrong answer, it's whatever answer. Feels good, or feels, you know like expensive. Or what if it feels constricted. And so that's, that's the sort of feeling you want to get in tune with, and you can use that to make decisions for anything, like, you know, if you're, if you're just in a bit of a funnel for a couple hours during the day, you can even say, you know, maybe I just need a nap.


And you're all of a sudden, like, oh you know what that feels so supportive for me right now I could just feel like my entire body relaxed, it feels like all of this pressure on myself, has, has just released, you know, versus maybe you're, you're in a bit of that fun. Can you say like, Oh, I'm just gonna check off my to do list.


Maybe feels good to you. Maybe you're like no that feels really, it doesn't feel supportive helpful it doesn't feel like that's what I need right now so even just asking yourself those questions, and how does your body feel.


And then, whether that is like you, Valerie like being this multi passionate entrepreneur and you wear a ton of hats you know like that might feel really good for you and I'm sure that's why you're doing it because it does feel good for you but for other people, you know, they might be like oh my gosh, I don't know how. I don't know how she can do all these things because for me that feels very like, you know, it just feels like too much so you know it's that it's that really just connecting to your body and what feels good for you, and then start taking action on that and start, like, trusting what your body what your soul is telling you, and it makes it, you know like doing doing that practice makes it so much easier to, to trust what your body is telling you, you know, it makes it so much easier to trust. You know for me, walking away from this like super comfy job, but didn't feel good. I was like, I know that there's something so much better over here for me because, you know I've proved to myself I've proved my ego. You know I've proved that by following what feels good for my body that ends up being good for my life, or, you know, for this life that I want to live overall so get into the practice and start small and almost train your ego to be like, okay, it might be scary, but I know that it always turns out for the best when we, when we trust her intuition when we trust our soul and we trust our body.



[27:25] VL: so much value and I like in everything that you're saying, I love how you keep reminding us that it really is a practice it's a practice to get to know ourselves it's a practice to ask the questions that are more supportive and more helpful it's a practice to take the steps to live closer to that aligned space, and a lot of times that can be really scary, because, you know, your, your, your life before air quotes before what you're doing now. It's not a bad thing. When you weren't hurting yourself or other people but at the same time like it wasn't as fulfilling as it could be. Right, well that's what it sounds like from like exactly what you're sharing Exactly.


And, and you probably teach this, or you've heard this before but when, when it comes to like manifesting and drawing who's into your life and attracting things. It's always like this or something better, yeah right where it's like, I wish to bring this into my life or something better. And I think we forget that sometimes I think we forget because we're, we are living so much in a very kind of short sighted space, and we don't realize that like, hey, something better does exist, and it's as simple as asking ourselves these daily questions and having this daily practice of getting in touch, more and more of itself. and it's not easy work all the time, like I said, like you said that those steps to go into alignment. Those are, those can be big leaps sometimes to quit jobs to be relationships to, you know, go out on a limb and buy the ticket to Guatemala, even though you have no idea what you're doing.



[29:17] JM: Yeah, yeah, it totally is. And, you know like with with that job that I was at, I manifested that, like, to, to the tee, like I had in my mind what my office would look like. And it did look like that I had in my mind what my boss would be like, and that was that and, you know, I, I completely manifested that job, and for a time it was brilliant. It was exactly what I needed, it can be really scary to be like, I'm in this, this role that I, I created it with the universe like I made this happen I manifested it, but now it doesn't feel good anymore. And, and so it is. It is scary. It is scary to like take that late being like, this is what I wanted so bad and I made it happen.


it can be really scary to be like, I'm in this, this role that I, I created it with the universe like I made this happen I manifested it, but now it doesn't feel good anymore. And, and so it is. It is scary. It is scary to like take that late being like, this is what I wanted so bad and I made it happen.


And I, you know, like I said the office was exactly how it was in my mind and I can do the gun. I can take that I can do the gun. I can take that lead and I can do it again. But it takes trust and it takes practice, and I think, I think, you know the reason why it is such a practice is because you have to.


You almost have to learn to start trusting the signs because you don't, you know like if you're, if you're creating this big life for yourself if you're trying to manifest something you don't really get to have the roadmap in front of you right now, like you get to know you don't get to see like, point A through two points.


You might see like a B and maybe C, and you need to just trust that like, once you get to C point D is gonna start showing up.


So, You know this is just all these little practices just taking these little baby steps, and, you know, making it a habit, making it a habit to like, trust yourself and to, to check in with yourself and ask these questions. Just, you know, it makes me so happy faster and it makes it easier and you know I always say that, you go from taking little baby steps, and then all of a sudden the Baby Steps turn into life, you know, maybe a bigger stuff, and then they turn into a week, and then they turn it into just like a jump off the cliff.



[31:33] VL: Yeah… Absolutely. The journey and then exactly what you said, like you see points A, B and C, and maybe D and then. But as you go, these, these new opportunities in ways reveal themselves to you, and I think it kind of goes back to what you said about like how you're a different person after leaving that corporate job because you, you couldn't have been, I don't know.


This is just like my speculation slash what I'm picking up. Here are your journey and your story is that I don't know if you would have been courageous enough to take that leap away from what you manifested, without doing the work to get you to that point first, it was almost like you needed to show your ego like yeah we can do this like I did this, I know what I'm doing, to be able to do that. So let's, let's talk about that trust more How are the ways we can build trust with ourselves, and trust our intuition more. How do we make that a habit?



[32:32] JM: Yeah, I definitely think, you know, there's, there's a ton of tools I could, I could tell you like 20 different ways to do it but I think you need to sort of pick what resonates for you.


And I do think one of the easiest ways to start is just like when you wake up in the morning, you know before you check your phone before you get into bed before you do anything, you know, just sort of check in and be like, what is it that I need today, what do I need to feel supported, or, you know, you can even ask like, you know, what is it that I need to know today, and just trust whatever answer pops into your head. And, you know, you might not be ready to take action on it. If this is brand new to you, but you might be like, okay, okay, so this is what I need to do today or this is what my intuition is telling me to do today.


And, you know like slowly you'll be like okay I kind of keep getting the same answer. So maybe I should take some action on that, you know, like it's just having, it's about opening up this conversation with your intuition, with your higher self, with the universe, you know, whatever, whatever sort of name you want to give it.


I think another really fun practice, you know, especially if you're learning to like trust. The signs and trust, you know, everything that's being put in front of you and like I said it'll start off quiet until it gets like, you know, super obvious like flashing lights in your face. But, you know, you could say, okay, universe. I, I want to start manifesting this, but I don't really trust I don't really know how this works. So, you know, I just want you to show me a sign. And that's fine could be, you know, show me a rhinoceros.


And, you know, pick whatever you want, pick something that's not, you know, felt like, that's not something you see every single day in your life that you know like, if I go outside in Vancouver, I'm going to see a crow, because I see a crow every single day, no matter which door, I have my apartment I leave no matter what time of day I leave, there's always a crow so probably not a good example, but a rhinoceros, not seeing one of those walking down the street in Vancouver, and you might be like, never gonna see rhinoceros, but then you turn on the TV, and there's a rhinoceros on the TV, or you overhear a conversation with some kids talking about rhinoceros, or it's on, you know the cover of an album that you're listening to, You know, so it's, it might be a really subtle sign, it might be something that's not super noticeable, but it's about, you know, like asking for that sign and then being open to you know like opening your awareness being like open to look around and notice the signs.


Having fun with it too, like it doesn't need to be so serious, have some fun with it and open up a conversation with your higher self.


Ask for what it is that you want. Ask for what it is that you need to know.


You know, trust, trust the first thing that pops into your head and go with it and take action on it and see how it feels. And, you know, then let's do that tomorrow and the day after that, the day after that. And, you know like signs are going to come in a much more obvious way much more open to receiving.


You know you're going to your intuition is going to talk to you louder. Like right now, you could be like, you know this, just popped into my head it was like a whisper, like how do I know if that's even what it is, you take action on it or you acknowledge it.


And then, you know, eventually that voice, you know, starts to wake up and it's like, oh you're starting to listen to me now we're starting to talk, okay I'm going to talk louder, I'm going to talk in a way that like so much easier for you to hear it's almost like you're giving your intuition, some like confidence to speak up and to talk louder.



[37:03] VL: I love it so much. It's funny because there's so much. It's funny because I totally forgot about this exercise but I do it all the time. I ordered this book, Online once, and it came in this tea. It was this like smaller than my palm of my hand, and it's an abundance book and I cannot remember for the life of me, but when I do remember I'll put it in the show notes page for this episode, but it has these little, these little experiments that they teach you how to do for manifesting.


For me they teach you how to do for manifesting. And the first one is attracting a green car into your life and you need to see a green card, and the other one is, I think, a yellow butterfly. So, I don't remember what month that was when I read this but I remember I was with my partner at the time and I said let's do this let's, let's do this together and let's see what we can attract, and he wasn't open to all of this as I am.


No problem. However, the next day I was like, I saw two queen cars, two of them, which was amazing. I don't have a green car so this is like a not this is not very common for me. And he said, Oh, I didn't see anything. So I was like okay cool, cool, cool, but he said I also wasn't really paying attention like I wasn't really looking for it, but because we had started this experiment, I started noticing the colors of the cars that I was driving around. And to this day, this was years ago. To this day, I see a green car almost 100% of the time that I drive. And I've actually attached, the green car symbol, or Omen, as a symbol and reminder for me, that abundance is always around me, and it's like always accessible, so sometimes I'll see like a bright green car and it's like a big truck and I know that this is like a sign that there's a lot of abundance in my life or a lot of abundance is coming. And sometimes I'll see like, it's green, but it's kind of a blue color but I'm like, it's kind of green like it's, it's an odd color for a car but I see it as green. And so that to me shows me that like abundance comes to me in different ways that I'm not expecting. And then there's a car that's typically parked outside, one of the houses on the way to my parents house so if I take that route. I often see the car, I don't always see the car but it often to the car. And so when I see that car, I'm reminded that there are places that I can always go to that have abundance in them so like, like for myself I teach Pilates.


And I also do my online mentorship and coaching, and I know that I'll never be out of a job. I know this because I've always done my own thing, I have not had that journey of living in the corporate world, I've done a few like desk jobs, if you will, however, it was all like yoga, Pilates my own business has always been a part of my life. And so I know that like, I know how to, how to bring abundance into my life, I know how to make money by myself and I don't typically I don't need anything else I just know like, yeah you know what I mean. In these areas, so it's, it's really cool and I feel like the more excited you get and the more gratitude you feel for when you get outside, you're like, I got this. Thank you. I saw the green car yeah thank you I saw the I saw the rhino, and it's not always a moving car sometimes it's a picture or sometimes it's like a meme online that we see and it's just like oh my god that's a rhino, and it's amazing how many green cars I see now like It's almost scary or annoying, but I always acknowledged as so when I'm driving, no matter what's happening of our lifestyle to go to an amazing song. I see a green card or my green car every day. 



[39:58] JM: You know, like, add on to that, to this to this exercise is giving gratitude and being like, thanks to universe. I see you, I see what's going on.


And I really love that you have now attached a meaning to it, and, you know, I do that a lot with people, you know like people that I've lost, and I lost an uncle.


I guess two years ago and we were really close and you know he was a part of my, my life for a long time and you know like we spent a lot of time with him and his kids and you know here's someone very important to me very close to me, and the sign for him is an El Camino, which is you know like one of those car, truck, things.


You know, if I'm out and out and about walking around or driving or sleeping in my house if I start thinking about like I wonder how my uncle Dawn is literally in El Camino, but like, drive by for someone on TV is driving one, and it's always my uncle dawn. Miss you, you know like just acknowledging that because you can, you know like, like you're saying what the car, the green car for you as a sign of abundance. So you've now attached, meaning to that and so every time you see that car. But the universe or, you know, source or your higher self, communicating with you and being like, hey, just remember, like, so much abundance for you, or you know I love that you even have like different shades of green or there's like a spectrum of abundance for you. So that's something that you can totally do like it's a fun practice that you make your own and you make it something that is super meaningful for you and it doesn't have to make sense for anyone else. And it doesn't have to be the science that they receive. You know, because it's, it's personal, it's, it's your, you know it's like your secret language with the universe.



[43:25] VL: That’s really fun.I love that. Yeah, I know what and when you're, I will admit when you're first starting out I just remember reading like so many personal development books and they all say, is so they all say the same things which is because this is what works, and almost every single one of them will say just do the weird, wacky kooky stuff that your intuitive guy tells you to do, or like your coach tells you to do.


I think it's really important to as you're learning how to trust yourself more. It's keeping like what we've been talking about this whole time like keep coming back to your core values and being in alignment, because that's how you start to.


That's how you start to interpret or understand the signs that you're saying, better. Like for me, the green car thing was just green car in the beginning, and then it started to be, oh well this is a very vibrant car, or this is a huge green truck. And then I started incorporating it myself. As these different meanings so yeah it's really, it's really powerful and it's really it's actually really fun when you start to get into it and I feel like the connection, the core values to come back to them every day, every day I like that and I like that you said that kind of intention of the day, like how do I want to do I need to meet, to bring me into this space and there's asking those questions, not just living this automatic life but really becoming like more aware, more intentional and not taking mediocre as, like, your answer like it's not fulfillment at that point.



[45:00] JM: If we can just, we could go down an entire other path with this conversation. So I'll stop but yeah I really love what you said.



[45:10] VL:Everything you said is so important and it's such a great reminder for people who have practice things like this before it's also kind of a very broad introduction to it all. And I can imagine people having additional questions. So where can we find you. Where can we follow you. How can we support your business and also support our own intuitive journey?



IG | @moonrise_soul

Website | moonrisesoul.com



Rapid Fire Round

1. What are you currently reading? Or What is your favourite book?

JM: My favorite book is The Alchemist. I was given that for my birthday one year and I read it on a flight to perhaps Nicaragua, and I read it before, like I'd finished the book before the plane even took off from Vancouver, it was, I couldn't get enough of it and I read it 100 times. 


So I'm reading that I'm also reading a really interesting psychology book about Donald Trump, written by one of his nieces. So it's a bit off brand for me, but it's incredibly fascinating because I love, love psychology and all of the like all of the ways our upbringing shapes who we are. So yeah those are my, my favorite read of my current read.



2. What do you love most about being a woman?

JM: Oh my gosh, okay. What I love most. the connection that you know that women have with other women, I think, as kids you know you're as girls, you're really encouraged to, you know, sort of build this, this really tight bond with your girlfriends and this, you know, community and I have such an amazing group of women in my life, and they are all you know one of my friends, her dad says to us all the time like, oh my gosh, all of you together could run the world, and you know it's it's true and we're all in the same room together like it's a force, it's super supportive, they are you know the people that you can go to for advice for support for, you know, fun, if you just need to have a cry. You know, it's, it's almost expected as women and I think men don't necessarily have that as much and that always makes me feel a little bit sad for them because, you know, there's nothing like being surrounded by your closest girlfriends and just, you can leave an interaction like that just having your heart, exploding with goodness.



3. What does empowerment mean to you?

JM: yeah that's that's something that I did on in my business and you know just life in general, you know, with all the little women in my life I have a lot of nieces and a stepdaughter and I want to teach them, you know, for me it's about like, what skills do I have, what, what am I really good at what are the things that I do, sort of naturally or easily. And, you know, how can I teach others to do that for themselves, and you know when it comes to all the little women in my life. It's very much like how do, how do I help teach you to have a voice to, you know, make your own decisions and to think for yourself and you know to be a bit of a rebel.

You know, I think, you know, like I said in the question right before that it's about the connection with girlfriends like, it's important to have that support for sure but I think it's really important that you can get through life without a lot of hand holding like you need the support and you need people to help build you up. But for me, empowerment is about, you know, sort of equipping yourself with the skills to be able to you know to forge your own path and you know sort of guide other people and share. Share your knowledge, your wisdom on too.



4. What are you currently working toward?

JM: You know, I think, you know, like I said in the question right before that it's about the connection with girlfriends like, it's important to have that support for sure but I think it's really important that you can get through life without a lot of hand holding like you need the support and you need people to help build you up. But for me, empowerment is about, you know, sort of equipping yourself with the skills to be able to you know to forge your own path and you know sort of guide other people and share. Share your knowledge, your wisdom on to. 

You know, I think, you know, like I said in the question right before that it's about the connection with girlfriends like, it's important to have that support for sure but I think it's really important that you can get through life without a lot of hand holding like you need the support and you need people to help build you up. But for me, empowerment is about, you know, sort of equipping yourself with the skills to be able to you know to forge your own path and you know sort of guide other people and share. Share your knowledge, your wisdom on to. 

You know, I think, you know, like I said in the question right before that it's about the connection with girlfriends like, it's important to have that support for sure but I think it's really important that you can get through life without a lot of hand holding like you need the support and you need people to help build you up. But for me, empowerment is about, you know, sort of equipping yourself with the skills to be able to you know to forge your own path and you know sort of guide other people and share. Share your knowledge, your wisdom on to. 


Book: Women Who Run with Wolves

 
Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

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Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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Which Episode with Sarah are you looking for?
 
 

E112: Style as Self Care: The Comfy-Chic Formula with Sarah Peel

Meet Sarah Peel of Citizenne Style & Home, as she teaches us how to shop our closets, take better care of our clothes, and create self care practices through style in her holistic lifestyle guide: Citizenne At Home…


E131: How to Incorporate Mindfulness Daily with Sarah Sturino

Learn about the nine pillars of mindfulness and how to start incorporating them into your daily practice to live a more mindful and heart-centred life, featuring special guest, Sarah Sturino…

 
Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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E123: Healthy Habits for Spring
 
 

E123: Healthy Habits for Spring

Check out these 12 healthy habits to start incorporating this spring season! Choose your favourites, or elevate current habits…


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[3:00] 1. Drink Warm Lemon Water

There are many benefits to drinking warm lemon water in the morning. Waking up and drinking water in the morning is one of the ways I love to start the day, and so do our bodies. It promotes hydration, especially after sleeping overnight with no water. 

While drinking water on its own will improve digestion, adding the juice of half a lemon can also give your body a detox boost and lemon is a great source of vitamin C. Vitamin C in lemons has been shown to reduce skin wrinkling, dry skin aging, and sun damage. We’ll talk more about skin later on.

[5:04] 2. Eat More Leafy Greens

As the seasons change, so will the foods we eat. It’s time to stop eating the same foods you were in the winter, and start eating colourful salads!

I live in Ontario Canada and here’s what’s in season for March + April: Apples, Rhubarb, Beets, Cabbage, Carrots, Mushrooms, Red + Yellow Onions, Parsnips, Potatoes, Rutabaga, Squash, Sweet Potatoes

Fresh, Springy Salads with Seasonal Produce

Greens supplements:

Pineapple Mango

Peach Flavour


[7:45] 3. Be in Nature/Outside

As the weather warms up I feel more inclined to get outside and enjoy the season. That’s not to say we haven’t made time outside in the summer, but I personally prefer the warmer weather. The last few weeks it’s actually been quite beautiful where we live and we’ve been making the most of the sunshine! 

You already know that there are heaps of benefits to being outside and out in nature. I can tell you right now that just from being outside more in the last couple weeks I’ve noticed a huge change in my mood, my weekly screen time report shows a significant decrease in the hours I’ve been spending on my phone or computer, and I’ve also been sleeping a lot better. Plus being outside is a great opportunity for us to PLAY! Which is the next healthy habit for spring...

[8:48] 4. Play

Run through the flowers, jump in the puddles, colour the sidewalks with chalk - we actually did this recently and it was a lot of fun! Play is really a habit I advocate for all year round, and honestly it’s so good for your mind, body and soul! Here are some of the benefits of play:

(Source)

  • Keeps you feeling young and energetic

  • Relieves stress

  • Helps improve your relationship and connection to others

  • Develops and improves your social skills - at every age

  • Stimulates the mind and boosts creativity

  • Can also support healing emotional wounds

  • Improves brain function

[10:00] 5. Sweat Out Toxins

You’re getting outside more, you’re playing more, why not take things up a notch and SWEAT more too! Our sweat glands help our skin filter out toxins from the body. This has many benefits including boosting our immune system, regulating our body temperature, and eliminating toxins. Plus what’s a great way to start sweating? By moving your body!

[10:56] 6. Love Your Skin

There are a few ways we can love our skin, and this is the sixth healthy habit for spring! One of my most favourite habits is Dry Skin Brushing.

To do this you will need a natural bristle brush, I prefer one with a long handle so that I can reach behind by back easier.

Handle free one that is perfect for travelling.

When dry skin brushing you want to use the natural bristles to gently, and firmly brush the skin in long strokes toward the heart, going over each area 7-10 times. Start at the soles of the feet and work your way up. At the belly, brush in a clockwise motion, and avoid the face. Do this before showering. 

Following your shower, love your skin by moisturizing your body and face with your favourite skincare products. I love doTERRA’s Verage Skincare Collection and their Moisturizing Body Mist

[13:54] 7. Breathe the Fresh Spring Air

Since you’re spending more time outside, why not take a few extra breaths of that fresh spring air. Can we all agree that breathing deep, full breaths of fresh air is very beneficial for our health, wellness, and immune system. Let’s take a deep breath together right now. First, inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth. When you’re exhaling push out ALL the air you possibly can until there is no more left. Then take a bigger, fuller breath in through the nose, and fully release through the mouth.

[15:20] 8. Mindful Reset /Slow Down

Spring is a great time for detoxing from slow winters, but it’s also a great time to reset and refresh! Get in the habit of taking a mindful moment to enjoy deep breaths, reset your energy and slow down; take some time to stop and smell the flowers!

Season change and so do our own moods, cycles, and activities. It’s important to be mindful through changes and work through the flow - for some it will be easier than for others.

[16:50] 9. Practice Gratitude

A great way to slow down and really enjoy life is to practice gratitude.

E69: What 365 Days of Gratitude Taught Me

[19:08] 10. Better Quality Sleep

E117: Evening Transitions for Better Sleep

[20:55] 11. Spring Cleaning

Home, relationships, negative thoughts/limiting beliefs

  • Declutter

  • Deep clean your fridge

  • Donate unworn clothes/home items


[22:27] 12. Gardening & Planting Seeds

Plant seedlings, get a house plant, connect with nature!

So maybe you don’t have the green thumb, no problem! Plant a different kind of seed: “plant” intentions. Remember there is lots of renewal energy in spring, lots of excitement to stat new projects

 
Val Lavigne Life Women's Empowerment Podcast

Podcast Host

Valerie LaVigne

Valerie is the creator and founder of Valerie LaVigne Life and the Women's Empowerment Show. She helps busy and empowered women create healthy habits so that they can become the best version of themselves and transform their lives. Learn more about Valerie here!

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